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The Tuna Squad Un-Edited

The Tuna Squad Un-Edited

JAKOBSPEELMANJAKOBSPEELMAN

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The hosts of the Caveville Connection podcast apologize for not releasing an episode last week. They discuss their recording setup and introduce themselves and their guests. They explain how they got the name "Tuna Squad" and share stories about their friend Miguel Loser. They also discuss a term they heard for men who are not very masculine, called "manlets." The podcast is described as a no-filter comedy show where anything can be discussed. Welcome back to the Caveville Connection everybody. Thank you so much for coming in and listening to us this week. We apologize for not coming out with an episode last week. Sometimes we just can't all get together and work out a show. So this week though I think we're gonna make up for that with this episode. Guys I think this episode is probably one of our best episodes we're going to ever have. This one is interesting to say the least. So stick around and figure out why this episode is called the Tuna Squad. So without further ado guys I'm your host Jacob Spielman and this is the Caveville Connection. So where is this recording gonna go? After we're all done. See kind of cool so after we're all done then you'll send them to me and there's a another way you can send your files and you don't have to send them through text or anything. Why do we all have to be recording? So we can so then I can put it into my thing upstairs and I can get like it'll pick up your vocals. Right this is our microphone and we don't have to all. For the most part like it'll pick up yeah that's perfect. So just to give you guys like a rundown you can literally say anything I read the the paperwork and everything you could talk about anything that you want. So the George Carlin thing is all shit fuck. Exactly you can George Carlin it you can you can Sammy it you can do whatever. So are you gonna introduce the people on your podcast? Yeah well you're gonna do that I'm giving all right fair enough. Okay all right so first of all I'm Jacob I'm your host and that'll kind of be like I already I've already pre-recorded all that. So then you're gonna edit all this other stuff out? Yeah all this explanation. So welcome back to the Caveville Connection these are my guests and then I'll start with you. I'm Sonequa Allen. Fantastic well it's a pleasure to meet you Sonequa. If you want to introduce yourself you can. And just go around the table here. Welcome to our podcast. I can't follow it down. You gotta have something what are we gonna call you? What's your name hon? She's Sammy Adams. Sonequa Allen, Sammy Adams. Nice to meet you. I'm Barb. Oh yes I'm Betty. And I'm your host Josephus. Josephus. Josephus. I can't hear anything. Fantastic. Good start. All right so we're here and I really don't know where to go now. All right so I don't honestly know what to call this episode but you guys have a famous name for your group of people or your group of women I guess. Friends. There you go. You guys are called the Tuna Squad. Why and how did that come to be? I think I'll Barb you can take this. We can't use real names. No you can use his. Okay that's fine. Miguel Loser. We actually sold Miguel a dog house. Really? A $2,000 dog house? No shit. Well Miguel must be doing okay for himself. Yeah he does. I won't say that to him but yeah. There's a really nice meat store there. Yes. Miguel's Meat. How many of us have Miguel's Meat? They look so guilty. Oh man. You didn't know what you were getting into did you? No idea. I didn't know. That's how it all started. Oh no. We took Loser, Smoky Loser, Little Weenie. Tuna. Tuna. No it was Sausage Link. No I thought that's how we got our names. No. Tuna is doing that. We were harassing him for a while. Wait we gotta back up. What happened was our younger brother. Dingwai. There you go. Young Dingwai was working at the local cinema. His boss was a woman that had an odor that smelled like tuna fish. Stinky fish. So she smelled like tuna. Tuna. And he hated working for her. He would always call her that Tuna. The Tuna Kid. He always had all these derogatory remarks. Well when we were screwing with Miguel Loser, he said you guys are just a bunch of tunas. And he called us the Tuna Squad. I thought he called us tunas when we took the little weenies and laid them all out on the hood of his vehicle and spelled something out. And I can't remember what it was. He was parked somewhere. He was at the other plant. Plant 2 or Plant 1? Yeah. He worked like third shift and we would go every Friday night we would go over there and do something horrible to his shit vet. We would put condoms on his car. And he came out and said you Tuna! And I thought that's what we got our name. But it was kind of in hand in hand with Dingwai's boss. Yes. It was supposed to be a derogatory. We just embraced it. We found our inner tuna. We embraced it and it is something wonderful. It is something beautiful. And seriously most tuna goes for high dollars. Right. Yes. It makes famous sushi out of it. I watched that Tuna show on History. Maybe we should consider rebranding instead of the Tuna Squad, Sushi. I don't want to go carp or catfish. Let's do catfish. I don't know. I thought it was funny though when my husband says, now wouldn't it be fantastic. Well, she heard Shaniqua's man called it the fish fest. Yeah. What are you doing with the fish fest? That's why he's not here this weekend. So some of you guys know that I work for Miguel over at Plant 2. And I told him I said, No, that's just the plant now. The other plant is gone. Yeah, that is. That's really sad. So Miguel the loser still works there. Yeah, he is the boss. I don't know why you would use loser. He's not really a loser. He's not the winner if he still works there. He's not going to listen to me. I already told him he's going to be honest. It's okay. It doesn't matter. He's like, here's how it went. So this is like, don't worry. Don't worry. He's still going to laugh at it. I'm sure he will. I'm not sure we should do this. We should restart. No, it's all good. We do. Let's not use loser. Just Miguel. Mike Kuchar. He told me he's sad because it's mine. Right. He's sad because he was a loser. Let's use Miguel. Mike Miguel Kuchar. Miguel, we know. We know how you feel about the Kuchar. All right. What did she say? Shut the fuck up. By the way, I don't want my husband to know about this podcast. You don't want to what? Know about this podcast. Hey, you got us. No, so I, what day was that? You're asking us how we got the tuna squad name. Yeah. Yeah. What's your name? Careful. I'm Shaniqua. This is Sammy Adams. That's Barb, Betty and Velma. Can you be Velma? You're Velma. Sure. Velma. Velma and Velma. Velma and Velma. Wait a minute. Didn't you work with a Velma at plant one? Verda. Verda. She used to piss me off. She had stinky hoo-hoo too. Yes, she did. When she would come to work, she would set her alarm clock so she would get there 10 minutes before me just so she could just play that country hillbilly shit. To get the radio channel on the channel she wanted? Fantastic. Oh, we said a real name. It's okay. I don't care anymore. I can either bleep it or we can just continue to go with it. Okay. It doesn't matter. I thought someone was behind me. Alright, anyway. I was just looking at the poster. Oh, good deal. Far off there for a second. I just keep looking past him and he's like... It's intimidating, you know? My teeth. Nope. Far off. Far off. No. Betty. Betty. Betty can give a hard stare. Betty. Betty can give her a hard stare. She's right up there with Black Shaniqua. I'm white. What the heck is your name again? Shaniqua. Shaniqua. Alan. Alan. Because I'm married to Josh Taylor. The boss of Bill's Quarterback. Actually, my man does know a white Shaniqua. He went on a date. Or was it Shanaynay? Shaniqua. Shaniqua. Shanaynay. Seriously? Yeah. I know a Shaniqua. No, she was Shaniqua. It might have been Shanaynay. No, it was Shaniqua. No, this was Shaniqua. Yeah, she was from your area. Allen County. Was she a resident at your work? Yes. Miguel. Farm? Yes. Okay. Farm had told me about the Kielbasa incident. Is that where it all started? Was that or was it a different story? We did things in his vehicle every Friday. Was it a truck or was it the vet? It was the shit vet. The shit vet. Why is it the shit vet? Because it was shit vet vehicle. It wasn't a Corvette. It was the shit vet. Okay. It was the shit vet. He might not even know what a shit vet is. It's a little shitty car. Well, I know a Corvette. It's like a Ford Escort. Chevy Chevette. Or Prius. Yeah, more like Prius. Imagine a hatchback Prius. Or Evo. That's fair enough. Here's Louise. Hi, Louise. Come sit next to Shaniqua. Oh, yeah, we have to introduce ourselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is... I'm Shaniqua. I'm Sari. Adam. I'm Barb. I'm Betty. I'm Imagine. I'm Louise and you're Thelma. No, you're Thelma. She's Louise. Oh, I'm Thelma. Sorry. This is Thelma. This is Thelma. Thelma. Thelma. Thelma, Thelma and Louise. I was going to say Thelma and Louise are two of our goats. So, okay. Fantastic. So, welcome to the podcast. I just told them this is a no-filter podcast. This is a strictly... Oh, hell. It's strictly a comedy podcast as of now. Which means you can literally say anything. I've read all the paperwork signed off on it. You have free reign. So, I heard a term. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. Over this last weekend. Of course. I was at a 60th birthday party. And they were talking about a term for men that are not very masculine. Not necessarily gay. But you would wonder. So, they call them manlets. Manlets? What? How do you feel about that? Manlet. Manlet. Manlet. I was going to say, considering you the only Y chromosome in the family. Not currently. It's feminine, but they just said... She was talking about her future son-in-law and he was a manlet. And I'm like, what's a manlet? I'm not going to go into that. But she was saying that, I think my son-in-law might be a manlet. A manlet. A manlet. Well, you kind of wonder, could he go this way or could he go that way? Just call him androgynous Pat. Androgynous Pat, right? So, no. He would be an opportunistic person. Fair enough. If it's a female, great. If it's a male, great. Opportunistic. We have a friend who is like that. Yeah. Just beats the odds. Odds are in your favor. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we do have a friend that's like that. Yeah? He would swing either direction, whatever the gate said. I like to look at it not like that, guys. No? I don't feel like that. I feel like every time I'm with that individual, it's manly. Okay. Except for the time he was shopping with underwear for us. Other than that, he is very manly. What? We were all shopping and he was a salon for the bride. Uh-huh. But we were buying underwear because we were 17 years old. Of course. And we wanted to be, like, you know, right. Yeah, well, I mean, I've done that. But he was, like, just helping us. Oh, look at these ones, guys. You know? But it wasn't like... So, in other words, he had a better fashion sense than the rest of us? But if we had went underwear shopping with our boyfriends at 17, it would have been, like, hey, hey, hey. Right? He's a song for you. Bow chicka wow wow. But... Whereas he... Okay. It helped him, though, if you think about it, because he knew what our boyfriends would like. We're... No, no, no. We're all thinking... But we're all thinking about the same person, correct? I guarantee you he wasn't. Hang on. Without naming names, without naming names, we are all thinking about the same person, correct? Yes. Okay. Yes? Yes. Okay. Here we go. If you had, that night, laid down to sleep in the same general vicinity as this person, would you have felt it to be a sexual lie down or a I'm going to lie down here and I'm going to go to sleep? Or I'm going to go to sleep and he's going to go to sleep next to me? I would have felt like it was my brother. Nighty night. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Because he's crashed at my house before. He's crashed in my bed before. I know. I've stayed in the same hotel room. Exactly. So have I. But I never... He just walked. I just... But there was no sexual... There was no sexual activity, was there? That's interesting. Okay. Heather. What do you mean, Sandy? You haven't answered the question yet. You need to cut that blurb. I got you. I was thinking to answer an earlier lie down question. No, that's Louie. What do you think it is? That's Louie. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Were you on the wrong friend? Were you on the wrong male friend? Were you thinking about the wrong male friend? No. Yeah. That's what I was thinking though. Okay. There was no... No. No. No. No. No, there wasn't. But I was just thinking to answer the question. Yeah. When I was in the same hotel room and we all stayed all night together, there was a group of us, but he didn't act like he was wanting the guys. He was acting like he was wanting the girls. So he's playing the field. He would. No. That's what I mean. He's playing the field. A or B, whatever. He was opportunistic. Or alphabetic. Or alphabetic. Yeah. And if you called him and asked him. Yeah. He would say the same thing. Oh, I'm sorry, Sam. I think he had a boyfriend though. Doesn't he have a serious girlfriend? I don't know what that means, but I don't think that... No. That's Salma. No. They live in the same building. They are not boyfriend and girlfriend. Sammy's here. That's Salma. That's Sammy. You're talking to Salma instead of Sammy. Those might be warmer. We can close that too. I could just have a little sour tart. Sour tart. Yeah. There you go. It's pathetic. We've been... Oh, my phone just... Oh, there you go. Why is there alcohol? I haven't had anything to drink. Me either. Are you a liar? I poured you two. Three? No. I had water. It's a black one. You better refill. No. You better hold off. Otherwise, I'll really be... Oh, let's do it. Do it. I brought you lemons for your tequila. Oh, shiza. Oh, I got you. I brought a toast to Opa. Oh, yes. Let me go get a refiller. We haven't done that yet. We need one of his really good toasts. Yeah. We got the one that we know. Yeah, absolutely. We do it every time. Are you working there now? How long has your guys' group been together? Like, how long? I used to work there, but now I work here. Well, fifth grade, we started playing softball together. Was that when? Was that before high school? Middle school was sixth grade. That's when we started going to school together. But we started playing softball probably fifth grade. I can't remember. It was that long ago. I mean, we were 9, 10 years old. We're talking it's been like six or seven years now. It hasn't been that many. Yeah. I've known Selma since third grade. Yes. Okay. Okay. So, you two have been friends since third grade. Yeah. Go down the line. Who knows who, like, when, who knew somebody first? Okay. I know. I knew Harley first. Okay. I knew Selma first. Selma. You are? Selma. Barb. Barb and Selma have known each other since third grade. Sammy. Sammy. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. Barb. 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