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The main ideas from this information are that the speaker is hosting an episode of Reply All where people share their stories anonymously. The first story is about a friend who has suddenly been mean, and others have noticed this change in behavior as well. The second story is about someone who has been bullied for three terms, with the bullies making hurtful comments and belittling the speaker. The bullying has had a negative impact on the speaker's mental health, and they have tried to confront the bullies but to no avail. The speaker is feeling small and worthless, and the bullying has escalated to name-calling and destruction of personal belongings. It is suggested that the speaker should distance themselves from these toxic friends. Who's saying it? I'll say it. Okay, just say it slow. Today's. Okay. To today's. That's period one. Yeah, I gotta wait. Okay. Welcome guys to today's episode of Reply... Did I say that right? Kind of. Today's. Okay. To today's episode of Reply... I'll say this is a safe place. Safe place. Okay. No, wait, no. I'll say that and then you say this and then we'll do it together. Okay, okay, okay. Hi. Welcome guys to today's episode of Reply All. This is a safe space where people tell us their stories and we give them our honest opinion and advice on it. These stories are anonymous for the comfort of the writers, so let's get into it. This is our first story. Yeah. So, Petra's gonna read it out for us. Okay. My friend has suddenly been really mean to me. She pulled a chair from underneath me, got angry for me for no reason, and when I asked and apologized, she said nothing was wrong. Oh my gosh. I hate that. I hate when something like happens and you know it happens and you like tell, not everybody, but tell the people you're close to. And then... They say nothing was wrong. And then you come back the next day and they're like, oh, hey, I love you. And it's like... Gah. Yeah, exactly. I hate that. Other people have seen how she has acted towards me and said it's not right and even commented on her being dry and short and her answers were moody and rude and very stubborn, which is worse than usual, so she's had this before. Whereas other people, she's having full conversations and laughing, etc. Oh my gosh. So she's being fake to whoever this person is. Two-faced. Two-faced. We have been friends since primary. Year five is when we got super close, but have been friendly since prep. Really? And so I don't want to let go. The changed attitude started around the end of July. It has really hurt my feelings and others feel similar. So she's doing this to multiple people and she's being nice to others. Yeah. And it's good when you have, like, proof. Like you said that your friends, I think, your friends have realized how she's been, like, stubborn and rude. And then she's nice to them. So you're not the only person. And thinking about that as well, just the changing of attitude. So she changes it with you and she's different with other people. She might want a difference, I don't know, since you guys have been friends since prep. Or maybe she's just used to you, but that's not appropriate. Like me and Petra, we've been friends since story time, guys. We've been friends since grade one, right? And we always go through, like, these periods where, like, we get sick of each other. Yeah. And we kind of just, like, have a break. Not for too long. When I say a break, I mean, like, for three hours, not for anything longer. So I think it's good to have those breaks. Yeah. Because sometimes you need time away from each other and then you come back to it and then you feel better. Because it's not going to be perfect all the time, but that is also not all the time. Because she seems to be doing that a lot. So maybe give her a break or maybe talk to her. And there's a difference between, like, being fed up with you and being actually, like, genuinely rude to you. Yeah. And then when she said nothing was wrong, like, either nothing was wrong and she doesn't want to talk to you about it, so it might be personal, or she's just being stubborn. So in situations like that, you need to just wait until the next day to talk about it. Or you can be like, look, why are you being different to me? This isn't just you saying nothing's wrong. There is something wrong. Like, I know you well enough. You've known her since prep, so you know something's wrong. Just, like, man up and say, like, what you think, and then I think she'll understand. All right. So what do you guys think? Give us your honest feedback in the comments. So we've got another story. Oh, I don't want to say that one. Because it's like, oh, shit. Is it? Yeah. No, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. We'll edit this one, so we'll just. So this is a story about something that has happened to me recently. I do not want anyone to get in trouble because of this. I just want to share my experience, as I think others might benefit from it. Okay. This is what we need, guys, right? So if you need any more stories, just put it through. Look through Petra's email that she sent and put it in the forms. And if it's too big, just send us an email. I've been bullied for the past three terms. It's stopped now, but in terms one, two, and three, it happened. Here's what happened and how I'm now trying to rebuild my mental strength and get my confidence back. It started in term one. It started as a little side remarks, comments like, I didn't ask you whenever I tried, or talked in a conversation, or things like calling me a freak or psychopath. This mainly happened in art class. At first, I thought it was a joke. Then things escalated. They, I don't want to name them, had other mutual friends and started talking badly about me while sitting next to me. If I tried to say something, I was met with the same response, shut up or no one likes you. Or whenever they said something funny, I would laugh. They would call me a psychopath. It was so on and off, too. Oh, my gosh, I hate when that happens. In class, things would be fine. Then in art class, things would happen, just on and off. Whenever I tried to talk to someone or even stand in the same place as others, they would call out things like, ew, go away, no one likes you. Then they would all laugh. Again at this stage, I thought it was a joke. But then it started, it was starting to get to me because it was constant. It was not something that happened every once in a while. It was every single time I went and stood with the group. That continued for several weeks before things started to get worse and my mental health took a turn for the worse. During worship, when we were handed purple ribbons, they dumped a large piece on my lap and said, well, sorry for being mean to you, then paused. Well, we said sorry. Now we can continue doing it. I felt so torn. I thought these were my real friends. They weren't. They were so mean. I stayed because I thought it would get better. It didn't. In Term 2, I no longer thought it was a joke. Whenever I tried to walk in the same direction, they would yell, ew, go away. And the constant belittling me, trash-talking me, in art, continued. I snapped. I screamed at them. It felt so good just to tell them to stop. Okay, when people, like, say they scream at someone. That's not shrieking. That's just having a go at them and telling them how they feel. I don't know if I like when people have a go at them. Like, I think you should just talk to them. Exactly. Not really scream at them. I know how you're feeling. I know it's super, like, oh, you feel so angry. You just want to, like, slap them in the face. If you've tried talking to them as well and they keep doing this and how you just wanted to stay in that group, I don't think you should have. I feel like you should have left that group because if that wasn't stopping, then it's not going to stop. It's not going to stop, no. Mm. Um, what are we up to? It felt so good just to tell them to stop. I felt free for the first time in about three months. Then they started again several weeks later, like nothing had ever happened. Again, the nothing had ever happened thing. It just ticks me off. Mainly guilt. When people do that, it's because they feel guilty about what they've done and they just want to pretend like nothing happened. I started to cut myself off from all my other friends. I didn't speak to anyone at lunchtime or in class. I felt small and worthless. I would just sit and read, trying to ignore what they were saying to me. Term three was my final straw. When we waited outside for PC, they were talking about how all women were beautiful, et cetera. Then they turned to me, looked me up and down, and said, well, all women except you. You are disgusting. Whoa! Mm. Damn! What? And I'm, ugh. This is so petty. Mm. Of course they said that. Of course they said that. That is definitely belittling her because they feel insecure of themselves. And if they feel insecure of themselves, maybe you should talk to them about it. Maybe it will help them to say, look, if you're feeling like that and you're saying stuff to me, maybe there's something going on in her situation or whoever's in the group. And continued talking as if nothing ever happened. They continually called me ugly and disgusting. We would play card games in the library sometimes. I could never win. The minute I did, they would yell ill and say someone else won. I know it seems petty. Mm, yeah. But it made me feel smaller and more worthless than ever. On a Friday, it happened. I went to walk out of the library after another card game, and they turned around and told me to go away. I stayed behind at the library and tried to calm myself down. That didn't work. I went to the toilets, locked myself in the store, and broke down sobbing. Mm. All I can remember thinking was, why is this happening to me, and maybe I'm worthless. I stopped talking to them. I was waiting in line for my math class, and they walked up to me, started calling me ugly and worthless. And then when I was walking to class, they called me a faggot. That is disgusting. And the fact they went up to her and just did that because that's just for their entertainment. Do not go back to that. Name-calling is so, like, grade primary. It's petty and grade primary. Yeah, exactly. I was thinking grade five. Grade five, yeah. No, that's when most people were saying stuff like that, in grade five and four. Do you remember your scenario in grade four? Yeah. Yeah. Mm. Where are we up to? During science class. I went to the bathroom and the mutual friend in the person sitting next to them trashed my stuff, spat on my work, took out my phone out of my laptop case, or you should have your phone in a laptop case, and put it inside my computer. And some of my stuff, they took some of my stuff and said they had hidden it, and called it a joke. Dang. Kent was where I realised that something needed to change. I felt worthless, alone, ugly, and unwanted. So I decided to change that. I cut off all contact from them and started to hang out with other people who made me feel good about myself. Good on you. Yes. You finally did that. Oh, my goodness. You just make yourself happy and surround yourself with people that you think are going to uplift you. You shouldn't have to change yourself so you can fit in with other people. Exactly. Move when you need to, because you needed to move. Move for the hell of it. It sucks it took you three times to figure that out, but I'm glad you did, because otherwise, yeah, that wouldn't have changed. Um... Where are we? I cut off all contact from them and started to hang out with other people who made me feel good about myself. I started exercising and prioritising my mental health. Yes, girl. I started to draw again, and I started to enjoy normal day-to-day things again. I started focusing on being 1% better each day, whether it was standing up for myself, a little bit more, or doing something that made me feel good about myself, like working out or spending time with old friends and family. I'm back on my feet, and started to feel more confident again. Great. OK, the whole idea of being 1% better each day, I remember reading something about that one time, but I'm not a very good reader, so I stopped reading it. Too nice. Too nice. But it's saying, like, even if you make your bed in the morning, and you have a really bad day, and you come back, and you see that your bed's made, you're like, I did that for myself. That's exactly it. Exactly it. And then you always have that little schedule, and those little things that you want to do every day, that you enjoy yourself, and then, you know, you have some time for yourself, and you focus on your, like, I can see this person is focused on herself, and I'm so glad she has, because good on her. She deserves it. Yeah. And, like... I forgot what I was going to say. What do you call it? People who are like who her friends were is disgusting, OK? Whoever did that, shame on you, because, like, that's not on, yeah? I remember. I remember what I was going to say. So, it's weird to think that all this actually happens in our grades. Yeah. We're all so, like, clueless and in our own little bubble that we don't even realise. Like, who does everyone reckon this person is? Because you probably won't expect it, because you'll expect it to be that one person who talks about mental health a lot, but it probably won't be. It'll always be the people who hide it. You least expect. Exactly. Let's see if we have another story. That one was very full-on. Yes. So, it might take a minute to process that. That's OK. You can go back and read it. If you're the same, if you've got a situation like this, listen to our advice, get out of it, because otherwise your mental health is going down. It's not worth it. OK, I've got a story. It's not going to get better. So, this is anonymous. All of these stories are anonymous, guys. That's forums. Yeah, we couldn't... We can't see anything. Yeah. I feel like I don't belong in my friend group, but I don't know where else to go. As I'm too nervous to ask people if I can join their group. I'm also scared it won't make a difference and I'll still feel left out and different. What should I do? That one is a tough one. But if you don't feel like you belong in your friend group, you need to find people who you feel like you belong with. And if that's not the scenario, you've got to be yourself, yeah? Because if you don't feel like you belong, do not change for those people. Like we said before, you need to surround people. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good. There's no point trying really hard to fit in or be this person or do these things if it's just going to turn out the same way. Exactly. These people aren't going to change in the span of five minutes because you're trying. And when you go home to your family, you're acting completely different. Exactly. And they said that they're scared it won't make a difference if they move. And you will find people who are like you. It might take time. So, what you can do is you can stick with that group while you go look at other groups. You can make new friends. You can find out who your people are, kind of. But you've got to find out who you feel like you belong with most, who you connect with most, who you feel closest to. Because that's really important. Because if you don't feel like you're belonging, if you feel like anything like that, it's just not worth it because otherwise you're not happy. Yeah. We'll do one last story, yeah? Yeah. Okay. So, the story we're going to do is... Let's find one. Yes. Okay. How do I get my mum to give me my phone back? Yes. Me and Patrick are both relating to this right now, aren't we? Yeah. I got my phone. It's taken off me because my mum caught me on it that night. That's okay. If you don't want to get caught, try to do better than what I did. Exactly. How do you get your mum to give you your phone back? I don't actually know because I'm obviously failing at that right now. But I did amazing because my dad took my phone off me last night and I got it this morning. Sometimes they'll forget and sometimes you've just got to be really nice and you've got to... Do all the chores, do all the extra stuff. Exactly. Sometimes that doesn't work, though. It doesn't work with my dad, unfortunately. I've tried bribing him or something. Or you've just got to wait the time limit. Exactly. And when you get it back... And don't be petty about it. Don't be like, I'm not going to talk to you because you've taken my phone off me or whatever. Because otherwise they're going to take it off you even more because they're like, oh, you're addicted and whatever. Yeah. And you've just got to follow what they say. They're doing it to protect you. Exactly. Even though it seems really unfair, we know. Yeah. So thank you guys for listening to this episode of Reply All. We are going to start up our episode, our next one right now, aren't we? Yeah. We're going to record, I reckon, about two or three more episodes for you guys to listen to. Yes. And then we will post them on Spotify. That's where you find them. Get your friends and your families, everyone you know, to come listen to our podcast and then give us their stories because we'd love to hear all your stories. Thanks, guys. Have a good day.