Motherless Child

The podcast discusses the topic of growing up without a mother and the impact it has on individuals. The hosts share a story of a woman who grew up without her mother due to drug and alcohol addiction. The woman expresses her hurt and anger towards her mother for not being there for her and allowing her to be in dangerous situations. The hosts emphasize the importance of forgiveness and healing in order to move forward from the pain. They also discuss the need for support and resources for young people who are growing up without a mother figure. If I have to cry sometimes, cry sometimes You have to share some tears, down through the years I have to sing a song, just to carry on Cries will be there just for all, for all Cries will be there just for all, for all Welcome back to Hurting People Do Cry Podcast. My name is Willa Powell. I am your host. I have with me again, Mr. Damien. Mr. Damien, how you doing? Hello, hello. How we doing today? Thanking God for another day. Lord have mercy, Damien. We were supposed to have started this podcast, I think, about an hour ago. Yeah, we've been in here laughing. Yeah, you've been in here just cutting up, y'all. Just cutting up. We got to tell you the little story. We had a little service last Sunday. Amen. Right after the praise and worship, we had a wedding at the church. It was a little shocking, but it was a wedding and congratulations to the new couple. I don't know if they renewed their vows or they just wanted to get remarried again. I just wish I would have known. I would have had some rice or something. I didn't have nothing to throw. Spaghetti, macaroni. I tried to just cut up some pieces of paper in my pocket real quick and just throw that out there. Amen. Y'all, I have known it. Cut that up. Just throw it in your ass. I have put oil on Damien already and it's not working. I'm all for it. Thank God. He was all for it. Praise God. Congratulations to that married couple from last Sunday. Damien, host with the most. Amen. You ready to lead the prayer for us? I'm definitely ready. Lord, hurry up and pray because I think you really need it. Go ahead. Heavenly Father, we thank you yet again for another day, Heavenly Father. We are here together, the only in your name, Heavenly Father, thanking you for what Jesus Christ did on the cross, Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ. We ask you, Heavenly Father, that you touch this podcast right now, Heavenly Father. Amen. That the words of our lips and the meditation of our heart, Heavenly Father, be acceptable in your eyesight, Heavenly Father. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Amen. We usually have Mr. Bernard here with us, but apparently he couldn't make it today. So, guess what? Y'all might have to put up with me and Damien today. Amen. And that's a good thing because we always got something to talk about and something to laugh about, I tell you. So, Mr. Damien, as you say, I wanted to talk about motherless child, or as you say, child with a motherless. Yeah, because I actually got it mixed up. He said he wanted to talk about motherless children, and I thought we were talking about children with mother's side, and I was like, okay. He's going to be all right, y'all. But yeah, I wanted to talk about motherless children. Children that's growing up without their mother. Looking at an episode one day, and a young lady was on there, and she was talking. She grew up without a mother. Due to that, her mother was out on drugs, alcohol. Her mother just finally, the girl is 30 years old, and her mother finally got off of drugs and alcohol the year before she turned 30. So, her mother's been out there for like 29 years and just got sober for one year and also became a minister during that time period. And the daughter was saying, well, Mama, where was you? You wouldn't dare for me. You gave me away. You had me at this person's house, and I was in a foster care. And then when I was with you as a little girl, I remember being around different types of men. And, Mama, you don't know, I was molested by those men that you had me around. And then you left and told me you were going to come back, but you never came back. You never came back to get me. Why, Mama? Why, Mama? And I had to get up and I had to try to raise myself. I didn't know nothing about having kids. I had two children. She said she didn't know nothing about raising kids, you know, and she didn't have nobody to go to. And it made me feel like I wasn't a good mother. And a lot of people kept saying, you're going to be just like your mama. You're going to be just like your mama. And at the time, she was saying, I felt like I was like you because I became, I started doing drugs. But I got off of it. I met me a nice man that helped me get off of it. But where were you? Where was you in my life? And, you know, and the mother was like, well, you know I was on drugs. I couldn't do for you. I couldn't do for myself. So how could I take care of you? You know, she said, I was a horrible mother. I didn't know how to be a mother. And she was being honest, you know, and she said, I didn't know how to raise you. I was 15 when I had you, you know. I was 16 when I had your brother. And that's because my mama was a crackhead. She didn't know how to raise me. And the men in the house was raping me, and I ended up pregnant, you know. You know, like she was saying, it's a curse. It was a generation curse. And what happened to her happened to her mother, and now it was trying to get to the daughter. So it was like a generation curse. She said, but I didn't know how to raise you. That's why I had to give you up. Because she said, if I would have not given you up, I don't know if I probably would have killed you or whatever. But I didn't know how to raise a child at 15. I didn't have a mother to help me. So how could I help you when I didn't have nobody to help me? Yeah, I think that this is a very touching topic for people, especially dealing with any type of parent, but mothers, because when you have that lack of nourishment, that lack of attention, or the nourishment that you're supposed to get from a mother, and you no longer, you don't have that. You didn't grow up with that. No one to nurture you like that. You didn't have the mother's kiss or the mother's hug. Right. Or just the mother's wisdom. Especially for young women. Right. I cannot tell young women, because I don't know how to experience being a young woman or being a woman. So when you don't have that, then that's how the house is divided. A lot of times we think the house is divided because we don't have the man there. But in some cases, the woman is not there either. Exactly. So we're working on one leg, and we expect the other person to have that other leg to be the man and the woman. And the man can't be the man and the woman, and the woman can't be the woman and the man. Right. All each one can do is do their best. Do their best. But when the other is not there, and they have nobody to relate to, like when you're saying the young lady whose mother wasn't there, so she had nobody to teach her how to be a mother. That's a touching sight. But when we become older, and this is what I like about God, man, so we have somebody to stand in that place now to teach us that. And one of the problems, and I see this every day, one of the problems is, first of all, you getting pregnant too young. Too young. But you know, she was saying she got pregnant by one of the men that was molesting her. And that right there is awful. So you have that to look like, okay, I got pregnant by somebody who I didn't even want to lay with. That part. So now I'm pregnant. So I have this. Every time you look at this child, you see the person. So you don't know how to distinguish yet because the child is completely innocent. Innocent, exactly. And her not knowing that because guess what? It was a time when she was innocent, and she had nobody to look to. That's right. So she didn't know how to be that role model. She didn't know how to be that mother. And that's a hard place to be in. That's like being in a rock and a hard place. It's fun to rock pretty much. Yeah, definitely fun to rock. You don't have the know-how. And this is why there are people in positions that want to help young people like that. And let them know, hey, man, there's hope. You have people you can go and talk to. You have places, actually, that the whole business is structured around that, helping young women who are pregnant and don't know how to be a mother and have these things, don't have a mother, that are lost and just being able to come there. And that's some things we need to figure out. How can we get that so we can get that in touch with somebody else who's going through the same thing and need help and won't give up their child? Right, right. Because sometimes that's the best thing they come to is, I don't know, since I don't know how to take care of you, since nobody was there for me, I'm going to give you up. Now that child, after growing up, still has some things harder than them. Because as they get older, they want to come back and say, why? Why you did what you did? Why you gave me up? Right. See, she was like, I think this happened to her. I think she said when she was about eight, nine years old. And she was like, I still have that. Even though I'm 30, I still have that eight-year-old hurt that I have not been able to get over because of what you not being there for me. So she's still dealing with the hurt from the age of eight and haven't been able to talk to nobody because she didn't have nobody. She don't have a mother. She didn't have a father. She don't have no others, nobody. So she said when she grew up and she met a man, he pretty much took her and taught her pretty much everything that she needed to know. You know what I'm saying? Now, as far as growing up being a woman, he can't teach her that. But as far as her going to school, she said she didn't hardly go to school because she didn't have nobody to help her get up and go to school or help her do homework or nothing like that. So she didn't really go to school. I think she said the highest grade she went to was like the seventh grade. The seventh grade, and that's the only education that she has. You know what I'm saying? And then her mother was like, I didn't have that. She said back in my days, you know, we didn't talk about stuff that happened in the house. You know what I'm saying? It ain't like people getting molested or something that stayed in the household. You couldn't go out there and talk about it or tell nobody. But I thank God today that we are able to talk about it. And it's just like guys going with guys and women going with women. You know, back then, there was a hate thing back then. They were killing. There was a hate crime. But look at it now. Everybody's out with that. They out to clothe it. And I think now that children or young boys, young girls that are being molested and stuff, you're able to come out of that now. You're able to talk to somebody. And like you said, there are organizations where you really can go, you know, to help you talk about it or somebody can go and trust. Amen, because it's time to release and let go of that stuff. Release and let go of it. That's why my podcast is called Hurting People Who Cry. One of the hardest things for people is to release things that happened to you in the past. Exactly. I'm an adult now. I can't let what happened to me in the past into my future. That's true. I can't hold that against somebody else. And that's one of the hardest things to do too. But when God comes in the mix and Christ begins to show you just how filthy and ugly you are, and yet and still you want me to forgive you. I understand what's been done to you. And I'm talking about somebody who's experienced. You have to let that stuff go. You have to forgive that person. That's one of the biggest things that you learn is in forgiveness there's healing. That's it. But you have to forgive yourself because it wasn't your fault. No, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault in order to heal. You have to forgive yourself. You got to forgive yourself. That's it. You got to forgive yourself. You got to forgive the person. And you definitely got to forgive your mother. Right. You got to forgive your father. Mother kept saying, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. She said, but Mama, you always keep talking about you, you, you. What about me? But the young girl has to understand it started with the mother. That's why you was in the position that you in because it started with the mother. And she's trying to tell you why. I was hurt. I was like that. And I didn't know how to be anything because that's what I was used to. And this is what you got to release. You have to release that old generational curse. And when they say generational curse, we always bring up the act. But also unforgiveness is a part of that. You better speak some volume. Unforgiveness is always a part of the curse. That's always a part of the curse. Because you can get over the act. But if you haven't forgiven that person yet. Right. And you can get past. You can become somebody. You can get married. You can have kids of your own. You can handle situations different. But if you have not forgiven that person, you still have a scent of that curse on you. Exactly. Exactly. Because it's going to bother you all the way through. All the way through. It's going to tear that man all over you. It takes the power. And you still giving them that power over you if you don't forgive. You got to forgive. You have to. And that's one of the ways you get healed, man. You have to forgive. You have to forgive them. And then you have to forgive yourself, too. And it's okay to talk about it. But if you're going to keep talking about it. And talking about it, to me, that makes me feel like you have not. You definitely have not. Have not forgave that person. I definitely have not. Because if I got to pound you over the head with it every time I see you. Every time I touch you. Then I ain't forgive you. Right. Well, you know, my daddy did this and this and this. But have you forgiven your daddy? Yeah. And you know, I've talked to people that never forgave their parents. And the parents are gone. What you going to give forgiveness for the dead person? They're gone. But guess what? They still have the power over you because you still have not forgiven yourself. That's right. Dead or not, they still got that power over you. And then you get on your knees and ask God to help you. Strengthen you. Change it around, God. Remove this from me. You know what I'm saying? I had to do it. There's a lot of stuff I had to forgive a lot of people about. You know what I'm saying? But that helped me to be stronger and not to stay weak. That helped my mind from not going crazy. You know what I'm saying? Because if I'd have kept that in my mind with a lot of stuff that I went through, I'd have been out there homeless as well probably. But I thank God he planted me on the solid ground. Turned the life all the way around, Damien. All the way around. It's just, listen, it's a sad thing to grow up without a parent. It is. Right now, it's so acceptable right now. See, it's okay to be a single parent now. It's okay. And they say, well, a lot of single parents and a lot of single homes, they begin to look and in therapy, they're trying to find out where dysfunctions begin to take place. Well, first, it started being dysfunctional when one parent began missing. You see, that's not the way God ever wanted us to be. God never wanted you to be a mother alone with two children, three children, and they ain't from the same person. Five different daddies. See, God never intended it for you. That's it. But because we didn't grow up right, and we heard some of the right things, but because we began to take on our own personality in a lot of places, or maybe the mother wasn't there. So the teacher, maybe you did have, and guess what? Some of your mothers are there, and they still ain't there. If you really want to tell the truth. In the house. Yeah, because some of them are in the house. But still ain't there. And getting high with you. Yeah, yeah. Some of the mothers are in the house. Tell it, David. And both of your boyfriends are the same age. They went to school with each other. Matter of fact, you used to date them. Tell it, David. If you really want to tell the truth. Make it plain. Make it straight. Yeah, so some of them don't even have that. Some of them don't have the godly woman in the house. Who you can say, well, I never seen my mama do that. I never seen my mama. Some of them are in there with their mama, and they still seen every Joe, Todd, and Jeff come in the house. And what they call them? Your cousins. Uh-huh, your cousins. Light back and forth. Every couple of months, mama got a different boyfriend. Man, you seeing that. Yeah, you seeing that there. So what you think she going to grow up and be? I don't care what you tell a child, a child is going to do what they see you do. Not what you tell them to do, but what they see. What they see you do. And you can't be mad. You can't be mad. Oh, I didn't know you was getting mad at them. Smoking in front of them. Yeah. They go up and smoke weed. You can't tell them not to do it. How you doing that? And then when you start doing it with them. But see, that's where the disrespect comes from. I don't even curse in front of my mama. I didn't curse at all, but she told me about that. I don't curse. Uh-huh. I thank God. But when I was out there, she'd tell you, you ain't cursing in front of no one. And if I did, I used to say, oh, I'm sorry, mama. If I slipped up, as a grown person, if I slipped up, I would say, mama, I'm sorry. Oh, mama, oh, oh. Yeah, as a grown person. But because I understood I had a godly mother. Uh-huh. You had to respect that. And I had to respect that. Uh-huh. And she taught me that, hey, you don't say any and everything out your mouth. Uh-huh. That's respecting God first, and that's respecting me. Uh-huh. So, you know, I see a lot of kids walk around now. Yeah. Yeah. What? What? Spill it. What's the definition? No respect. None. None. None. None. None. But the kids, you know, the young girls, or even the sons that grows up without a mother, her too, even though they see pretty much want their father in their life, or the father's supposed to show a man or boy how to be a man. That's right. A woman can't really tell a boy how to be a man or show a boy how to be a man. But guys miss mothers, too. Yeah. I've seen them where they've been on stage crying their eyes out. Mama, you wouldn't dare. Mama, you wouldn't dare. And look at me. And I think a lot of this hurt comes from because they was molested. You know what I'm saying? Because you wasn't around, I was molested. You wasn't there for me to cry, I was molested. You was on them drugs. You was on the alcohol. You didn't care about me. And that's the whole thing. You didn't care about your child. But they have to also realize their parents were sick. That's a sick drug. You know what I'm saying? And the only way, like the lady was saying, the mother they were saying on the talk show, she said, I was sick. How can I help you when I can't help myself? I was sick. The drugs took over my body. Every time I had money, I went to the drug dealer. Or I went to the ABC store. I ain't think about you. That was important to me, not you. And she just sat there and told her the truth. You know what I'm saying? The host was saying you have to listen to what your mama's saying because the way you were in this position, she was in the same position that you was in. Her mother was in the same position. So don't be mad at mama. But she said, babe, I'm here now, and we can start from now. That's right. We can start from now. And when a person really forgives you, too, they don't have to throw something up in your face. Every time. That'd be people that still hurt, people that still ain't let go. They still ain't really forgave you. That's it. Or forgave the mother for what she did. Exactly. And you still holding on to that. Until you release it, it'll always be, why, mama, why you did this? Instead of, hey, mama, I love you. Right. Right, exactly. See, I done seen some people that was really healed over some things. They never even threw that up in somebody's face what they did in the past. I ain't got to go to you and say, hey, even though you did that, I still love you. No, you don't. No, you don't. You still ain't got to clap to the face with it. Yeah. Snuck that in. You snuck that in. You still ain't let go all the way. You still ain't let it go. And that's the thing, man. And that's what the enemy loves to use to keep us divided. Everything is built up to keep us divided. Exactly. Because if we come together, we have so much power. If we ever learn to forgive somebody else, then we can really ask for forgiveness. Well, let me ask you this. A lot of people say you forgive but you never forget. What you say about that? Well, of course. I mean, you're going to always remember just like me asking you, did it happen? You say, yeah, it happened. Well, of course you didn't forget it. I mean, I don't know nobody whose mind been completely white. Only body that forgets your stuff is God. But a lot of times when they say that, I ain't forget, it really ain't forgave you. That's the point I'm making. Because I hear a lot of people say, if I don't keep bringing it up, that don't mean. No, if I keep bringing it up, that don't mean I never forgive you. They say, if you say you forgot, then you need to let it go. It's just like in a relationship. Let's say you get married. Oh, you are married. I'm married. Let's say your significant other, y'all had some issues. Let's just say you was unfaithful. Let's say you did something. It could have been anything. Let's say now, even though you've moved on, every now and then, your significant other brings up what you did. Like cheat or something like that. What that begins to sound like. You've moved on. Y'all have agreed to move on. What had happened hasn't happened. It's not happening no more. But every time you turn around, they mentioning that again. Who it looks like haven't moved on? The other person. Because they got to keep bringing that up to you. They got to keep bringing what you did to them. They got to keep bringing it. If you really forgive somebody, you don't bring it up no more. When you move past somebody, I ain't got to throw that up in your face every time I see you. I ain't got to... I guess with our relationship, I ain't still surrounded them by what went on in the past. Because that's how I go at people right now with me. Same thing. Still bringing up stuff you used to do. Yeah, I used to do what I... And guess what? Not what you doing now, but what you used to do. What I used to do. Some people will never get over who you used to be. David, on his deathbed, and God will bring this to me. As a matter of fact, earlier today, he talked to me about this. When he was sick and they didn't know what to do, one of the things they did is when he went and got a young girl, her come and minister to him, lay with him, so he can get some warmth in his body. They knew David used to be a hoe. And because they never got past who he used to be, they thought the same thing would work. And when you surround yourself with people who can never get past the way you used to be, they'll always try to handle things the same old way. The same old way. That's right. They'll call you back. And what is crazy, trying to get a different result from the same situation. Come on here. So it was crazy for them to go get her and lay her. And when he said he ain't touch me, he still ain't getting warm, they said, well, we don't know what to do. But David said, I know what's going on. And when God steps in, man, you're no longer that old person. That old person, that's it. Old things become new. But if you still have them people, some people will never let go who you used to be. I don't care how changed you are. I don't care what you go through. I don't care how much prayer you go in. I don't care how much deliverance you get. You still have some people who will never let go to your former self. Yeah, I had a co-host here before. I don't know if you remember Janella. She was here last week. And we pretty much, you know, like talked about that, how she used to be out in the streets, alcohol and stuff, but she don't change. She's a new person in God. And she was saying how people come back and say, oh, I remember when you was out there in the streets. Oh, I remember when you was a drunk laying out on the curb. Yeah, that's what you remember me now, but what do you remember about me now? That's right. Who do you know about me? What is it about me that you know about me now? You don't know nothing about me now or who I am. I don't know about you now. But my past. My past. I don't let the past go. I don't look in the rearview mirror no more. At all. I'm looking at the front window. I told the brothers, and I said, listen, when I die, don't let people up who used to know me. Don't let them jokers get up and talk. All right, they're going to bring it up. Because they don't know who I am now. Exactly. But my brothers and my sisters in Christ, who I'm around, those that God has placed me around, you do the talking. Because you know who I am. Exactly. Not who I was. Exactly. And that's the person who I died as. I'm not going to die. The drug dealer. Mm-hmm. So no use you bringing some of my old friends. We used to see El Dope on the corner and this and that. You ain't. You was my friend then. See, I got a whole different group of people now. Listen. So don't bring nobody to talk about my past. What I used to do. I used to see them brothers in my past. They want to come to the jungle. Don't let them jokers stand up and talk. Don't have nobody talking to me that don't know me. Because what they say, the buzzard won't talk about something that's already dead. That's exactly what the buzzard attracted to. What's already dead. So don't bring a buzzard up there. Because all he know is dead stuff. And that's what he sees out there. He dead and he smell dead. So you know his conversation going to be what? Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. 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