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cover of Gerage - 3:22:24, 7.34 AM
Gerage - 3:22:24, 7.34 AM

Gerage - 3:22:24, 7.34 AM

Henry Dorsky

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was like a dog when I was on my way home today because I was like so excited to start this. Like my tail was wagging, like my metaphorical tail. Dude, my metaphysical tail has also been wagging. I do have a headline for the day. Okay, we got a headline? If you don't mind me sharing some breaking news. The Time and Temp Tower has gone dark. What? What is that? Wait, Henry. Did you think that I was going to know exactly what? Yeah, I thought you were about to absolutely freak out. It's the tower. Oh no. Yeah, I know. Okay, so, okay, so in our hometown we have the, basically what seems to be like the center of Portland. The center of my universe, truly. Of the universe. Why did it, how did it go? How are we supposed to know the time and temp? Those are the exact questions that I have and nobody has any answers for me, but I just had to let you know that before we got going. To pass through it in town? It's directly next to my gym, so I frequently use it to both know the time and the temperature. And now I'm, I feel completely lost without it, to be honest. Oh my god, you know what that means? We might not be able to do a weather report. I think we can do, I think we can still do a weather report. Oh, we totally can. We'll get around to that. Okay. So, do you want to go tit for tat? I think we could go tit for tat. Yeah, my phone is over there charging. We're, we gotta, I mean, we gotta get, we gotta get them in cahoots pretty, pretty soon here. Yeah. Should we do like a little intro? Welcome. Welcome, you are now in cahoots. Yeah, no, I didn't really have an intro in mind. Did you have an intro? No, I didn't really either. Welcome to In Cahoots with Crave and Reggie. The Crave, the abbrevs have already started. Yeah, Craveon and Reginald. Sorry, I'm so sorry, the Reginald. The Reginald, it's gonna be an abbreviation heavy. Yeah, if you guys are wondering what type of podcast we are, an abbreviation podcast. Among many things. Among so many other things. Among so many, so many other things. And one of those things is Chef Counter Lamb. Dude, let's talk about it. Let's talk about Chef Counter Lamb. I want to hear what, I want to hear your idea of Chef Counter Lamb and then I'm gonna go with mine. So, my idea of Chef Counter Lamb would probably have to be the lamb at the chef's counter at Uvo. Best lamb kebab I've ever touched. Only one. We're talking about the experience of fine dining and what that really, what that really means. Totally. You want to be at the chef's counter? I want to be at the chef's counter and I want him to hand seed me a lamb kebab. I, if you, I swear to God, Cheesecake Factory can die in hell and I know that I'm gonna catch flack for that. You want to watch, yeah, you want to watch, um. Chili's? Count your fucking days. Well, let's slow down here because Chili's is a whole, okay. Alright, what's your Chef Counter Lamb? I, I have yet to, I think it's like farm-to-table concierge is the new word that's come into my life recently. It's like, they're basically, they're basically feeding you, like, like holding your hand, like white gloves. Like you're, like you're their baby. Yeah, like, just like that lamb baby. And, um, I'll tell you, I, I've been withholding this information from you for some time, but about my, my beef with Cheesecake Factory. Yeah. Um, I used to be a, as you know, Crabe, a DoorDash runner, an avid DoorDash runner. Very proud in, uh, the great city of Los Angeles, California. Um, and I would, I would, I would go to Chef Counter restaurants, uh, but I would also go to, um, not so Chef Counter restaurants. We're talking the TGI's, the Arby's, the, you know, and, um, I considered Cheesecake Factory to be, um, a middle of the, middle of the road. So we're not talking quite Arby's, but we're also not going like, you know, your local, whatever. It's got five stars. Yeah, I'm gonna agree with that. Like literal valet? Real valet, like actual valet, like making my whole experience that much more difficult. Why? Tell me. God, if you are listening. Wait, I'm confused. Do we have it all wrong? Why is there valet parking at Cheesecake Factory? Do people think that Cheesecake Factory is sushi? Is that what we're missing? That's what I'm saying. I don't know. No, no, no, no, no. They've scammed us all, you guys. What are you saying? Um, and that's the reason that I have among, I mean, there's so much that, there's so much that that says about who they think they are. Yeah, who the fuck do they think they are? I'm getting pissed. You know what? Yeah. You know what I think put them on the map is Drake's, Drake's lyric. What? And that's where he's like, why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake? You know that one? Oh, Drake was at Cheesecake? Maybe he put them on the map. I'm just saying, it's an idea. Drake? And maybe that's why they got valet parking. Um, another question, another question that I had for you is, do you have like a lore around horseshoe crabs? Is that like a main thing? Is that, was that just a me thing? Is it? Or do you also feel like they are like a relic? Yeah, yeah, no, they totally are. Wait, because like when you think about like their anatomy. Because I know people who have no idea what they are, and yeah, they're like little dinosaurs. I think that, I think that that is actually like a proven fact though. I know. They literally are. If we had like a little Google guy like Joe, and I was just like, hey, guy. Google that. Maybe one day we'll have a Google guy. And then you can figure out, okay, yeah, because the anatomy of horseshoe crabs is like, they're straight out of... But I swear I said something, I like want to say it was one of my friends who lives in New Hampshire, and they were like, what is a horseshoe crab? I guess because they're inland, I don't know. Of course, someone from New Hampshire. I was like, I feel like, yeah, don't even get me started. I was like, okay, maybe, I don't know. Because they feel like pretty significant to me in some ways. Yeah. Yeah, like a little staple of the, a little staple. Just like a tiny little staple on the page. You just got to have that, you need a staple. We all need a staple. All we have are just so many staples. Infinite. Do we want to open the bag about New Hampshire? Wait a second, I feel like this is a good time for me to shout out my sponsor just because I was thinking about how hungry I was earlier today. I wish that you didn't already know what the sponsor was. Me too. All right, ready? But we are stoked to have their support. I honestly can't believe it. Are you tired of fisting, literally fisting your jar of peanut butter just to get some peanut butter? Do you wish there was a better way? Do you want to interview? Do you know what I do? That's why our sponsor is Jif squeezable peanut butter pouch. You guys, this technology is incredible. Just picture toothpaste but Jif creamy peanut butter. And need I say a lick more? I think you all just get the vision. We're really, really stoked on that. I know it's made a lot of improvements in Henry's life personally. Who? You. Oh, shit. Um, we can cut that. You don't have to take it so serious, it's okay. I think it's okay that that's going to happen more than one time. That's going to happen. We'll let the cat out of the bag. We'll get our guy on that. We'll let the cat out of the bag. We'll get our guy on the cat's and not cat's. I can't stop laughing, but I mean this with all my heart. I'm very passionate about. You know what was a little surprise about the Jif squeezable peanut butter? What? That you wouldn't know unless you squeezed it. But it does have a shape. Like there is a little frosting style tip. That's really powerful. That is just absolutely beautiful. So there's like, it's like how you ice a cake. That's kind of sort of similar to how it. I'm going to let the audience buy it and figure it out. Jif. Oh yeah, you guys run to your nearest grocery store. It is insane. Like you don't even realize. And then you just start thinking about evolution and the wheel. And you're like, wow, we have really come a long way. And horseshoe crabs. Henry, oh my God. Nail on the head there, bud. Okay, we're ready to trade. Yeah, anyway, thank you to our sponsor. I wanted to. Love you guys. Let me go grab. Hold on. Yeah, why don't you have your list? We're going to for tat right now. Technically you're tat. So do you want to tat? I'll tat. One of my questions for you is what do you say when somebody knocks on the bathroom door? Moo. No, you don't. No fucking way. I mean, I. Moo. Henry. Oh, that's actually a good question. No, I'm serious because I realized I don't know. I think I just like black out. Oh. Because I feel like someone asked me one time and everyone else like had a go to. And I'm like, I don't. I feel out the vibes like I don't have a go to. I feel out the vibe as well. Sometimes I just make it like a noise like, ah. Yeah. Like, what are they really gonna. Yeah. I had one time I had a person say to me, I'm in. But it sounded like come in. So I was like. Why would you do that if they told you to Henry? I just thought like, has this person ever thought of this before? Or is he freestyling like we do? Because that would just be the last thing that I would think. To say. Would be in like you're. But especially like it sounded like come in. So anyways. Yeah, no, he should definitely workshop that. You came up with that. Like, how long ago did you come up with that? That's a while because I've been wondering and I'm like, I feel like I don't know what it says about someone. What they say. But it says something. And that's all I'll say. Well, I'll say this. If we're on a platform right now. If you're listening to us on a platform that allows comments. That's something I'd like to know. Yeah, give us your best. Because I'm sorry. Occupado. Throw up in the garbage can. Busy. Like. No, you're not. Busy? Busy? Really? Busy? It's something that people say. Like answer the phone and be like busy. It just feels like there's no good way to do it, I guess. Like, I think if someone's in here or. Oh, don't come in. I think, you know what? I think I used to say don't come in. Don't come in? I'm like, that's really impressive, I feel. It's better than come in. Yeah, OK. It's better than that. But imagine you're in your knock and someone's like, don't come in here. You're going to be like, bitch, why are you fucking? Oh, my God. Like, why are you? Why so? Yeah. Why are you pissed? I have a question for you. I think I might have saw this somewhere. But would you rather walk in on someone or be walked in on? Was this on Brooke and Connor? It depends. Shout out to the kids, by the way. Shout out to those kids. We love those kids. Yeah, shout out to those guys. It might have been. I think it depends, like, what's happening. Because if there is a full-grown man taking a poop, I would rather get walked in on. But if in any other scenario, I would rather do the walking in. Yep. You know? Yeah. Because that's an image that stays with you. Oh, my God. It's harder to recover from. If I was in full squat. Exactly. Like, so vulnerable, and I had someone walk in. Just imagine, that's how girls are every time they pee. Oh, no. That's what I'm saying. Like, I would, in most scenarios, rather do the walking in, except for that one. Because it just feels like it costs more. Oh, yeah. What would you rather? I think I'm just going to go safe and say walking in. If it was, like, a woman, and I knew I would, like, fully embarrass her, though, then maybe I would rather be walked in on. Because that gets tough, the gender gap there. If a guy that was my age walked in on me, like, full squat, I feel like we would both just start just howling. Yeah. You'd be boys at that point. Because he caught me slipping. Yeah. Holy crap, it's so difficult to monitor my volume right now. Do you see the little thing up top, Maddie? Oh, Crayvon, where it's, we're full of surprises today. Everyone's just getting a full pack. Yeah, it is scary. Every time I laugh, it shoots in the air. The Reginald really needs to calm down. Aye, aye. Oh, yeah, righty, Cass. And moving right along. I am skipping right over that. Okay, so, I think this next thing, it comes with a story, but, and it's rather unfortunate. Okay. But, you know, I work at a restaurant, and they, there's this food regulation that's, like, if you have fish in a pot, it can't just be, you can't just have fish in a pot. Like, in the elements, right? And who are they to fucking tell you? If I'll put my fish in a pot if I need to, thank you. Like, I'm not saying I don't, we don't all put the fish in the pot sometimes, but, technically, the regulation, backed by the United States, backed by the United States government, like, backed by the Food and Drug Administration and the Health, and the Department of Human Health, this is what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to have fish in a pot, and as long as that pot has running water, or has water running into that pot, some of you that work in restaurants can know about this. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. This started me on this, like, mental cascade where I was like, how is it- Do you have water guilt? How is it illegal? Yes. Yes. Yeah. How is it not illegal to waste water? Well, it literally, like, is in some places, like, in the desert, I think. Is it? Yeah, like, it should be. If you have a water ban, or, like, a water, I don't know what they call it, but if you're supposed to be preserving water, I'm pretty sure it's, like, your neighbors report your sprinklers on or something, like, you can get fined and shit. Oh, interesting. But we don't worry about that here, because that hasn't become our reality yet, but- Do deserts have it down? Shout out Arizona. If Arizona has that- Because, like, that whole area shares the little baby Colorado River. So, like, it's kind of funny to me that, like, if you went into a store and you took from the Cheez-It company, you put the Cheez-Its in your pants and you walked out of the store, you would not only be fined, but, like, probably, like, would you be arrested for that? I don't even know. But you can literally leave your house with your shower running, and according to the U.S. government and the President of the United States, who has yet to address the water situation, that's totally fine. Just interesting. Well, it's not- I mean, it's fine that they'll charge you up the ass. Oh, right, the water bill. Like, you'll pay for it. Like, we pay, like, pennies on the dollar for water than, like, we do electricity. That's an exaggeration. But, like, water bills are, like, so much cheaper. That's gonna change. Totally. Oh, 100%. In, like, 2030? You heard it here first, folks. 2040? You've been talking about water for a while, which kind of transitions to what I kind of wanted to talk about, was that you were vegan for a while. Oh, were you gonna talk about that? Yeah, totally. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. No, we- I just was not anticipating it. Yeah. And that's, like, pretty much the whole reason why I was, like, for environmental and sustainable situations associated with food. But it is a hard lifestyle to live, and now I have reverted in many ways. And I still try not to eat, like, beef or pork. I don't particularly, like, eat, like, vegetables. Yeah. No, I don't think you're alone. I honestly, now that I am not vegan, I catch myself slacking so much more often. And I really have to be mindful about, like, if I'm eating a vegetable in a day. Be mindful of that vegetable. Be mindful of your daily vegetable, you guys. And fruit doesn't count, unfortunately. That actually brings me perfectly into our next segment. Boom, we landed. Via vegetable? Carrot and the stick. This is one of our favorite discussions to have. You want to explain it? Well, I think we all know the expression, the carrot and the stick. Do we? If you don't, I- Well, I guess we're about to tell you. I have to take my sweatshirt off because I'm laughing more than I anticipated. Okay. Basically, carrot and the stick says, like, it's rewarding good behavior versus disciplining bad behavior. And the debate is, like, which works better? Perfectly said. And we could talk about that if you want. One of the things I wanted to talk about is why are people so passionate about washing dirt off of carrots? Ew, why would you not? Okay. Yeah, I'm so glad that you feel that way. But the XV. Why? Yeah, it's dirt. I've never- Like- I don't think anyone's- I think you missed the pulse on that. Licking the dirt off of a carrot like it's a thick- No, I'm not saying lick it, but I'm saying, like, whatever. Like, do you think that's the worst thing you're eating right now? I'm so confused. Like, check your Red 40s. Check your sugar intake. What side are you on? It's a little dirt. I'm saying, like, dirt schmert. Like, we're gonna be okay. No. Like, worry about- Like, at least you're eating a carrot. Like, maybe stop vaping and then talk to me about dirt. No. Anyway, I guess it's just me on that hill, but I did wanna- Okay. Yeah, I guess I can get behind- I was thinking about, like, a vegan that was, like, tastefully, like- You know how a bartender might, like, salt the rim of a glass? Like a vegan's, like- I'm sorry. Like- Just, like, dirting the rim of a carrot. No, I'm not- Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. Listen, another question I have about carrots is, why are baby carrots either, like, soaking, sopping wet- Oh, I can't even- Or white and dry? Get me started with baby carrots. Can we change the subject from that? I don't even wanna talk about baby carrots. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. No, it's just- Yeah, I don't- I don't- I'm not- I'm not a baby carrot. I'm not a baby carrot guy. I'm a celery guy, and I know you're not, which is weird. Yeah, like, it's just, like, a vegetable made of fishing wire. That's- That's your gripe? Yes, it gets stuck on my teeth. Oh, my. But I love the cru- Hold on one second. Alright. Give us a little- Give us a little, uh, ASMR. Okay, I'm not gonna- I'm not gonna torture you by chewing it- Oh, I actually just spit it out. But that's what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is celery, baby. Yeah. Alright. I guess. I just feel like there's other things to give you that. For example, a carrot. Wow. Or, like, an apple. Okay, I hate it when I bite into an- I actually get offended when I bite into an apple. And it's, like, peach textured. Uh, hey guys, actually at this point Craybon's mic stopped working for a little bit, so I'm just going to fill in this part reacting to what I just said until her mic comes back. Oh, yeah, I love apples that are crispy. Crispy apples are the best with a lot of snap and crackle to them, especially in the fall time. And, yeah, I think that's pretty- I think she's coming back soon. Other thing that we were going to touch on is Mane. Mane. Mane. We love her. We love her. We love her. We love her so much. I think you probably have a lot to say about Mane. Craybon, go off. Go off. Go off. Let me hear it, baby! Thank you, Regine. Um, honestly, the most- all that you really have to say about Mane is that there exists here a food called chunk of moose meat stew and similar to maybe a chili, Henry knows all about it. I'm into it. I mean, Reginald. You know what, Craybon? I actually have some chunk of moose meat stew in my refrigerator here in New York. How did I know you would say that? I'm dead serious. Yeah, honestly, you can obviously try it. It was pretty good. But I just think that is the most Mane-coded thing I've ever heard of. And I love it for that reason. Another thing I want to talk about is forget everything I just told you about chunk of moose meat stew. Everybody likes to say that Mane is New Hampshire's redneck cousin. What? And- Yeah. People say that? Mane is New Hampshire's redneck cousin. I- I went to school in New Hampshire and, like, more than one person insinuated to me that I was from where, like, wolves are raised. They were like, oh, you're from- and I'm like, we are- you guys, we are in New Hampshire. That is insane. Look at yourself. I think maybe- Yeah. I think maybe only people from New Hampshire would say that because I think the general consensus is the opposite. Oh, that's amazing, Henry. See, I wouldn't have realized that because I was surround- no, because some of the people saying that were from, like, Connecticut. Uh-uh. Like, literally everyone I went to school with. And I just think that we have that really twisted as someone who's lived in both places. Yeah. Yeah. New Hampshire to me feels like the Florida of the North. You've lived in New Hampshire. Yeah. And you've lived in Maine. And, yeah. And I had a professor tell me that they went to Machias, and that was all they needed to see. And I was like, yeah, that's because you took yourself to Machias, and I would feel the same. What is Machias for non-Maine listeners? Machias is out where I'd call Bumfuck. That's, like, the last place on the continent. Like, literally the last town. Oh, is that that one? Well, when you look at a map, I'm pretty sure Machias is literally the very corner, corner, corner of the continent. Yeah, that's sick. So I understand why he felt the way he did, but I just want to advocate for Maine because we love her. Oh, we love her. And, yeah, I just feel like there's way too much slander, especially for people who live in the bayou of New England, aka New Hampshire. The bayou? Yeah. Oh, with the vocab, bro. With the vocab. What is bayou? It's, like, down south, like Louisiana. Oh, okay. Like, on the swamp. Where the gators roam. Griffin gators. Exactly, Henry. Exactly. Also, wait, I just have one more question. Sneezing. Are you pro or con? Kray-Mom, what does that mean? Are you pro or con sneezing? Like, do you love to sneeze? Oh, yeah. Or you don't really care? Yeah. Like, I prefer to sneeze. Absolutely. That's my preferred state, is to be sneezing, yeah. Okay. How about you? All right, I'm just making sure we're on the same page. Are you? 100%. I have a friend that has very bad allergies, and when he wakes up from a night of especially drinking, he can't stop sneezing. Interesting. So I think that would be someone that would be anti-sneeze. True. Yeah, he probably is. Interesting. Although, maybe he's very pro, because he just feels amazing all the time, because he's always sneezing. Does sneezing release dopamine? Let's get the guy to look that up. Yeah, we should get our guy to look at that, because it's got to be something. Do you have that gene where if you look at a bright light, it makes you sneeze? Yeah, I do. I do, too. And I feel very blessed to have that gene. It makes me sad that some people can't just look up if they need to prompt one. I'm really sad for them. That's a handicap, to be honest. God bless. That's a genetic defect. All right, that's all I have. Disadvantage. Do we want to end with one last topic? Okay. Still around. It was just staring at us. All right. That's not even the best word. All right, I'll give you the topic that I wanted to talk about and then I didn't want to talk about as one of the options. And that topic is your house. What? Something else we could say. Like my house? Yeah, it says Henry's house. Oh. Another thing we could cover is rigs of various maraux. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're touching the... And then... Why my house? Oh. This one there. Is that the topic you want to cover? No, I want to talk about rigs. Because nips and crannies is also an option. No, I want to talk about rigs. Okay. One good example of a rig is, in my opinion, a good-looking mustache. Oh, really? Yeah. Would you agree? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like that's a good tell if someone's a rig or not. If they're locked in a good place. That's a good example. I had, in my mind, I think, like, a person that's, like, sporting, like, a bunch of different categories of clothing at once. Like, you can't really even tell. Like, they kind of just came from their construction job, but also, like, they have karaoke later, maybe? I don't know. Yeah. No, I think that's also a criteria for sure. Another one, though, that's a good tell, is if someone has an open coffee mug in their car. A what? An open coffee mug. I mean, I guess you did that before. That actually is such a rig. Yeah. I don't even think a lot of out-of-staters really use that. Because I said that, like, recently to a friend from Minneapolis, and he was like, what do you mean? Dude, everyone should get on the rig wave. It's so versatile. It's very versatile, but it's still specific. Like, you've got to keep the rig. You've got to do justice to its name. You know a rig when you see it. In fact, folks, go out in your community today and spot a rig. Try to spot some rigs. Just put the lenses on. Yeah. Get in the rig mobile and get rig-a-marolling. Yeah, if you have a rig to maroll, you can maroll that. 100%. I think, yeah, an all Carhartt suit, maybe. That's a rig. Dude, I saw the craziest rig the other day. I think I told you about it. Oh, I love a good rig. Crazy long police officer mustache. Uh-huh. Ray-Bans. Well-fitting cowboy hat. Oh, there you go, bro. Cowboy hat on Mars. Carhartt jacket. Obviously vintage. Very well-loved. Chef pants. Crazy pattern. See, that's what I'm talking about. Like, has multiple more. And get this cherry on top. Jordans. Guess how old this one was? At least 65. I was like, that is a rig. That's a rig. If you look up rig in the dictionary, you find that man. That's the type of man I would marry. Oh, yeah. I was at a coffee shop. Ain't nothing but an age gap. You tell them. You tell them. I was in a coffee shop. Like, a very, like, dainty-ish, or I wouldn't say dainty. I would say just, like, upscale. And, like, this guy just walks in. With a beaver hat. Yeah. These are the people that inspire me. And I don't want to get too Canadian with it. But, like, I'm pretty sure he had plaid on some part of his body. Oh, so the man was trapping. Yeah. Literally. I'm trying to think of a good closing. Like, how do we do this? How do we close? We want to give a topic that we might start with next week to give people a little. Yeah, I'd love to. A topic I'm excited about for next week is nooks and crannies. Why they're great. Where to find them. Some of my favorite ones and varieties. Nooks. It really is. It's a broad topic if you really think about it. So, look forward to that. That's a good one. Thank you for tuning in. If this makes it anywhere. And, yeah, that's all I got. Cray-Bon with the closer. Cray-Bon. Oh, yeah. Thank you for listening to the Reginald. The Reginald.

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