Heavy Throttle podcast2

Chris and Jade discuss their birth story, focusing on Jade's experience with a c-section. Jade went into labor multiple times but couldn't progress due to the baby's large head. She eventually decided on a c-section for the baby's safety. They faced challenges with the doctor's reluctance to intervene and the frustration of COVID restrictions. Despite some complications, they were finally able to have the c-section on their chosen date. Hey guys, what's up? This is Chris with Heavy Throttle back with Jade. Hey y'all. Today we're going to be talking about our birth story. Yes, we are. All right. Well, let's dive in. Okay, straight to the good stuff. Straight to the good stuff. No fucking around. We ain't got time for it today. No, we don't. Let's go ahead and start with how you managed to give birth. How I managed? Not very well. Was it a c-section? Was it a natural? Not out the hoo-ha. Nope, it was a c-section. I went 40 weeks on the dot. I went into labor three or four times between the span of probably 36 weeks and 40 weeks. But it was weird because I would like to have contractions, be consistent. I'd have like the whole, all the symptoms, you know. Feeling like diarrhea, nausea, all of that, and then it would just stop like out of nowhere. So he basically was trying to drop into my birth canal, we found out later, and his head was too big and he couldn't fit. So I was going into labor those few times and when he realized that he couldn't fit through, he crawled back up. So basically at my, it was like my 39-week appointment, I begged my doctor, like, please just get him out. Yeah, it got to the point where I was beyond pissed because of COVID. I couldn't go to any of the doctor's appointments. I couldn't do anything. I had no say. You know, Jade would come home and I'd be fucking livid that I couldn't put a say in. Yeah, and it was hard because obviously at that point, like, I was just as frustrated as you were about it. Like, obviously I was miserable and I just wanted this baby out of me. But I also had a lot of trust in my doctor that I had at the time. So I feel like I was really trying to take his professional advice and, you know, most first-time moms, they want you to go till 40 weeks, which I don't know. I'm sure there's science behind that. I don't know what it is. But I mean, I was so swollen and so miserable. I could hardly walk. My ankles were like eight times their normal size. I mean, you're an idiot. It was so bad. Yeah, it was pretty bad. I mean, she was miserable. I mean, I couldn't even walk to the bathroom. Like, I was literally waddling. And it's not like the cute pregnant waddle. Like, that was like... It did not look like a penguin. It felt like a fucking penguin. But anyway, so at that appointment, I just said, look, either we do an induction or we do a C-section. I was more opting for the C-section just because I knew that my body had gone into labor a few times and it just wasn't successful. And I really did not want the stress on the baby. And I'd also failed a couple of NSTs before that, which if you guys don't know what that is, it's called a non-stress test. And basically, they just monitor you for like 45 minutes or so. It's baby's heart rate and contractions. And he had failed a couple of times before that, but I was sent to the hospital one time. He ended up passing there. So it was either a machine or whatever, but he was just so big. I mean, honestly, tell myself and everybody that's listening, you know, how that made you feel that he was failing. It was terrifying. I thought he was going to die. I just I felt like he had lack of movement, you know, decreased movement. All the things that they tell you, you know, call your doctor if this happens. And I would and I just wasn't really being taken seriously except for that one NST where they sent me to labor and delivery. And oddly enough, it was actually the other doctor in that office that day because my doctor wasn't in. He failed it twice while I was sitting there. And she goes, nope, I'm not not doing it. You're going into labor and delivery, which I was grateful for at that point because I was like, shit, I mean, if he needs to come out, let's do it. You know, so it was just it was scary. And then he was a very big baby. We were sent to a specialist at one point for his size, you know, and yeah, anyway. So 40 weeks on the dot and we decided C-section was kind of a joint decision between the two of us. I didn't really give the doctor a choice. I told him no, we weren't going to anymore. There was no more time, no more time. And just I couldn't risk losing him because they wouldn't take him out, you know, and I I felt like in my mom gut, like I just knew that he was struggling. Yeah, but I feel like the amount of times that we thought you were going into labor, you know, I mean. He was ready. Yeah, he was ready. I mean, there was no doubt that he was ready to come. This doctor just was like, no, we're going to wait. We're going to wait. He's going to come natural. There was no fucking way that a nine pound child was coming out of your hoover. There was no fucking way. Well, I'm like, for reference, for people that are listening that don't know me, I'm five five and I am not a big girl. I'm a midget, but I'm not a big girl. I mean, you know, I'm not teeny tiny, but I'm not. Her tits way more than her. She's not important. But the bottom line is, is that this baby was just his head was just too big to fit and my body just was giving up. Basically, it was like, OK, if we can't get him out naturally, then we're just going to hang out here until somebody gets them out. So at my last appointment, I just said, look, you know, I can't do this anymore. My body is physically just shutting down. My baby is struggling. We're frustrated. We're tired. Like we need to get him out. Well, fucking got to the point where you and I were arguing over it. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's causing major fights. Like even my mom was coming over and saying, like, you need to get him out. Like, you're too swollen. You look like you have preeclampsia. Like this doesn't look right, you know, and it's dangerous, blah, blah, blah. And every time I go to the doctor, they say, oh, your blood pressure is a little elevated, but it's OK. Oh, it's a little elevated, but you're OK. Oh, I've seen swelling worse than that. And I was like, dude, I literally don't even look like myself. I'm so swollen. Yeah, I mean, I was furious. You know, you can only imagine, you know, you want your fucking son here and you got this oldest doctor that's just sitting here like, no, we're going to wait. We're going to wait. It's just very old school. Yeah, it gets fucking exhausting, you know. But let's fast forward, you know, to the day that we finally did go in for the C-section. Well, we went in at like 5 a.m. Yeah. So he let me pick the day. And oddly enough, that was my actual due date from the very beginning was July 7th. And I've always liked the number seven. I don't know. I feel like it's a lucky number. My birthday is November 7th. So, oh, I mean, it's 7-7-21. I mean, it's about as lucky as it gets. Vegas numbers, baby. So I picked the 7th. That was 40 weeks on the dot. That was the earliest I could deliver, according to him. So he put in the order. We went and did blood work, blah, blah, blah. So, OK, be at the hospital 5 a.m. Perfect. Not a problem. We didn't sleep a wink that night anyway. Granted, this is all during fucking COVID. Right. It's all during COVID. So we had to get COVID tested and all this shit before we could even go in. And they told us if either of you test positive, like you're going to have to be quarantined. Well, fuck, then it came out that they didn't even test me. Oh, yeah. They only tested you. That's right. They didn't even end up testing you. Yeah. Whatever. So we show up. Cool. You know, obviously we're nervous, but we're so excited. Like, this is the day we've been fighting for, for the last... Granted, here I am fucking lugging in luggages full of fucking clothes for my wife, thinking that she's going to be able to do her makeup and shit. Hey, I'm always high maintenance. And we get all checked in and the nurse that put my IV in was super cool. I was like, awesome. This is going to be so great. Like, I vibed with her. She found my vein right away. It was just so easy. And I was like, cool. So I'm going to have you with me like the whole time. Right. And she was like, oh, no, actually, you know, I'm technically night shift. So the new nurse for this shift will be coming in around six. And she's really great. You know, blah, blah, blah. I was like, OK. Well, she shows up and she is a nightmare, a nightmare. Like, I'm talking straight out of a fucking army camp nurse. Like, she just was not kind. I mean, she was just very like by the book and like, OK, let's do this. Let's do that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, it was just not like. This was the lady I dealt with, right? Yeah. Oh, man. Let me fucking tell you. You know, Jade got in there. We got all situated. Jade had to go get her. The. Oh, my spinal tap. Your spinal tap. It was before that shit was happening. Yeah. I mean, regardless, she was still a bitch. No, that you skipped a whole part of that situation, a whole part. So they were supposed to give me antibiotics. Right. And we got there on time. So that's why you go two hours before so that you can get your antibiotics slowly. They hydrate you. They do a bunch of stuff beforehand. So that surgery is safe. OK, great. So I got my bag of fluids and I was like waiting for the antibiotic. They never gave it to me. So I asked, I'm like, you know, surgery schedule at seven. Are we going to do this? Antibiotic is like six, 15. And finally, my doctor rolled in with a donut in his hand and he's like, hey, you're ready to have a baby. And I was like, yeah, but I haven't been given my antibiotics, blah, blah, blah. So then this nurse, who's a bitch, was freaking out like, oh, my God, they didn't give it to you. Like going off about somebody else not giving it to me. Yeah, she fucking lost her mind. So then she's like scrambling. Right. And at this point, we've got my doctor in there, the anesthesiologist in there, two prep nurses in there getting like me all situated, plus this bitch. And she like hooks it up to my IV and it's supposed to be a slow drip so you don't get sick and so it doesn't hurt. She fucking just opened the thing. There was no control on that bag. Yeah, but she also squeezed the bag. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So she not only didn't have a control on the IV drip, it was open. And she's squeezing it all around. This is a fucked up. So I'm sitting there and I'm like, OK, well, what antibiotic is it? And they finally tell me what it is. And it's a it's in the family of penicillin. And I'm allergic to penicillin. My entire family is allergic to penicillin. So now I'm freaking out. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to have a fucking allergic reaction in this hospital and die like I can't even just have my kids. So my doctor's like, no, you'll be fine. It's a far cousin of penicillin. And instantly, like the minute that shit hit me, I was like, I'm going to puke. Like I do not feel good. And my husband was like, can we get her some like anti-nausea medicine? Like she doesn't do well with vomiting. Fuck, that took nine years to get in. I'm begging the anesthesiologist. I'm like, please, can I just have a little bit before? He's like, well, no, I typically do it while we're in there. And I'm like, OK, you're not going to make it in there. I'm going to be throwing up all the way to the OR. So he finally agreed, finally gave it to me. I was literally like right about to barf and he put it in my IV. And I was like, OK, cool. So we go to, you know, walk to the OR and I still have my bra on because nobody told me to take it off. And this fucking bitch, this is my favorite part. She literally yells at me. What do you mean you still have your fucking bra on? And I was like, whoa. Like, are you kidding me? Yeah, granted, this time now we're together. Yeah, he's with me. We're all like getting ready to walk like Chris is dressed, ready to go in a little Michelin man outfit, a cafeteria lady. Yeah. Like we're ready to rock, dude. And I didn't know I couldn't have my bra on. I didn't think it was a big deal. They put all the like sticky stuff on me, the heart monitors, all that didn't say a word. So she goes to take my bra strap off and rips my IV, like literally pulls it as she's pulling my bra strap down. It was so that part alone was traumatizing because now my arm is fucking pulsating. Yeah. But by this time, you started to walk out of the room. And I straight fucking grabbed that lady. And I was like, look, this is our first fucking kid that we've never done this. Yeah. You're fucking making it seem like we've done this and we have multiple kids. Right. We don't know what we're doing. And I just told the sheriff, I said, with all due respect, don't be a fucking bitch. Don't be rude. There's no need for it. Not at all. And they were like rushing at this point, right? Because they're like 15 minutes behind. And he was like, you know what? This is our time to have our kid like it is what it is. I said, you guys are on our fucking dime at this point. Yeah, it was it was gnarly. So that was just the beginning of our hospital experience, which obviously put a really bad taste in our mouth. But there was one nurse in there with me that I absolutely adored. She was this little, little tiny lady, like itty bitty. And she was a little bit older. And she came in with me. And Chris couldn't go with me when I got my spinal. That was like the one thing I was so freaked out about was the spinal. And my anesthesiologist was cool, but he was very like quiet, like he wasn't trying to like lighten the mood. It was just very like, OK, here, this is what we're going to do. And I was like, can you like crack some jokes or something? Well, you're about to shove a needle in my fucking spine. Nothing, dude, like no personality. And so anyway, they set me on the table and mind you, I got a big old belly. And they're like, OK, arch over as much as you can, like bend your back. I couldn't even hardly bend. This belly was so big. So I'm like, I just threw myself over my belly. And this cute little nurse like grabbed me and supported me. And she was like, you hold my hand. Squeeze it if it hurts. She was like so sweet. She was super sweet. She was the one that ended up taking care of Ryder when he was born, too. But she held me the whole time. I was like freaking out. And they're like, you just need to breathe, because the more you freak out, the worse it's going to hurt. So I try to take deep breaths. And honestly, as a mom, that's probably the scariest part of having a C-section. It's not even being cut open because at that point, you know, they know what to do. Right. But if this spinal tap goes wrong, I mean, you can be paralyzed for the rest of your life. You know, and it makes me wonder how many women out there are more terrified of that than anything. Oh, yeah. I mean, I was like, you can cut me fucking stem to stern. I don't care. It's the fact that you're touching my spine was just like so creepy. So, you know, they give me some local anesthetic just to numb me if I don't feel it going in. Well, that didn't work. So they gave me four shots, which is as much as they can give me of a local. And yeah, it didn't take. So at that point, he had to just raw dog it and shove that fucking needle into my spinal cord. And I felt every fucking inch of that needle, every inch of it. And not only that, but I felt the medicine going in, too. So that was the gnarly, the fucking gnarly. By the time they laid me down, which you go numb really fast. It's like instant. They lay you down. And I was just like I was crying at that point, like begging for my husband. I'm like, where's my husband? Where's my husband? He's coming. Like, where the fuck is he on the shitter? Like, explain to the people why the husband or fiance or whatever is not allowed in there. So basically, it's a liability on the hospital and on the doctor, because a lot of times men get queasy when they see certain things that happen during C-sections. And because. What they're doing is such a serious thing that you can go paralyzed. If, God forbid, the dad's in there and he sees it and he faints and he falls on the mom and it jabs the needle another direction, there's that. The dad could get mad, you know, if they're thinking that they're doing something wrong or hurting their wife. It's just a controlled situation, basically, of just the patient, nurses and doctors. So it's just it sucks, because in that moment, you really want to have your man. Yeah. And you know, whatever, whatever it is, you know, and it sucks because you as a man, as a partner, you want to be there to hold their hand. You know, that's a scary moment. Yeah, it's terrifying. That was the one part that was really just freaking me out. But we got through it and laid me down and he came in and he just he held my hand the whole time and I was shaking uncontrollably. I remember it was bad. I just remember, like convulsing, like being so nervous and anxious and like the medicine just making me so cold. You know, and with me being an asshole, you know, that was the one time I had to be solid, like there was no doubt. Like it looked like she was having a seizure. Yeah, that's how bad it was. I was shaking really bad. And that was freaking me out because I thought, oh, my God, they're going to cut me wrong. And they're like, no, like your bottom half isn't moving at all. It's just your your top half. So I asked them to just unstrap my hands because that was making me freaked out, too. I felt like I couldn't move, which I mean, I couldn't. But yeah, I mean, the part of them taking him out was like so magical. You know, I was so worried that being in an O.R. was going to feel just like like take the magic out. But it was still magical, like hearing him cry for the first time and like seeing his little head over the curtain. You know, it was like still magical. I mean, it was magical until I got the other shot of it. Well, yeah, you're crazy, dude. He watched the whole fucking surgery, you know. Watching TV shows, you know, Grey's Anatomy, Grey's Anatomy. But, you know, of course, I counted the fucking lap pad. I wanted to make sure you weren't going to go into sepsis later down the line or whatever. But let me tell you, I've seen some gnarly shit and watching them stick these fucking literally look like pry bars in your belly. OK, let's just give a graphic warning here. You're about to get really gnarly. So if you're a queasy, skip past this. It was just fucked up. Like it made no sense. I watched them stick these things in her belly and straight go forward. And Jay's whole body literally came up to me. That's how fucking awful that was. Yeah. And it's weird because when you're that numb, you still have like feeling of pressure, but you don't have pain. So you can still feel like when they're pushing on you, when they're moving you, when they're jabbing you like that. It's not like a sharp pain. It's just pressure. Somebody's pushing down. So when that happened, I was like, whoa, like it took my breath away. So I was like, what the fuck's going on? And they basically what they said was they couldn't get to him because he had gone back up and was floating at 40 weeks. So he wasn't even engaged with my canal. He hadn't dropped down nothing. So they had to literally reach up inside me and pull him out. Yeah, it was traumatic. Yeah, it was traumatic on both ends because I was like, OK, what is happening? All of a sudden, I feel like I couldn't breathe. And at that point, I got really nauseous again because I was like, whoa, like something feels off. You basically feel like you have an elephant on your chest. And the minute you feel that, they take him out. It's the trippiest experience, but pulled him out. He cried. I got to cut his umbilical cord. Yeah, we saw his little gooey, bloody face. Put his head around the curtain. And yeah, that part was awesome. I immediately sent Chris. I was like, go with him. Go take pictures. Go. Basically, when you have a C-section, he can't cut the actual cord off of me, but they leave a decent chunk on it for the dad or partner to go and cut it. So they saw that experience. He got that picture. Yeah. And then I videoed him coming to you and then I got yelled at. Yeah. So they they were OK with pictures, not videos. And he almost got into it in the O.R. And I just remember looking at him like, please, God, don't do this right now. I just straight told him I'm not fucking not going to get this moment on camera. Yeah. So he wanted to record them bringing him to me for the first time so that he could have the moment of me holding him on camera like everybody else does. Yeah. I mean, you don't I get it. I understand why you can't videos. God forbid they fuck up and you have it on camera. I get it. It's understandable. But for fuck's sake, it's not like I'm sitting here. Hey, let me fucking get a shot of your fucking open stomach. Come on. It was literally like on the backside of the curtain. All you could see was like my head, the curtain and Ryder like literally that's all you could see. So we have like a little snippet. But the end of that was them yelling at him. So we didn't really get that. But we got some cute photos. Ryder drooled in my mouth the minute they they laid him on me. And I was like, oh, that's amniotic fluid. But yeah, it was sweet. We took some family photos. And the only thing that kind of bummed me out was that they didn't let me hold him for not very long at a time, which was weird to me. And now I know that I was stable enough to hold him. And I didn't advocate for that. And I know now that I could have. Yeah, but that kind of that kind of comes back down to them fucking rushing us. They needed the fucking OR. Yeah, it felt very rushed. Yeah. And going into a really probably one of the most major surgeries that you can have being awake, especially, I mean, they're cutting through seven layers of tissue. That's gnarly. You know, going into something like that, awake and rushed at the same time, it makes you really anxious. It didn't it wasn't like a calm like let's just, you know, waltz into the OR and take our time. It just felt like they were like, OK, here's your baby. OK, let's show you up. OK, get out. Yeah, it was just all around. It was just really bad. I mean, we wanted to hold our baby. I mean, I wanted you to get that moment. I mean, I really just wanted him like that was like my biggest thing was like I knew that if I could hold Ryder while they were sewing me up, I would be OK. Which in most cases they do. Yeah. And if the mom is like passing out or, you know, just in some way unstable, they usually will let you for whatever reason. They took Ryder to the little incubator thing to like do all his stuff. And that was fine. He was but he was stable also. Yeah, there was absolutely no reason. I mean, granted, we did have Nikki's team in there just in case, because at the end I was considered high risk, but he was fine. He was happy to be out. Yeah. So at that point, Chris and I had made the agreement beforehand that he was going to go with Ryder because usually they take Ryder out of the OR and kind of get him cleaned up, diapered, wrapped up. They do if you want to do the like the vitamin K shot, the eye goop, that kind of stuff, which that's all personal choice. We have personally opted for all that stuff just based on research that we did. But they take him out of the room to do that. And at the time with COVID, not to get too political, but I fucking will, they were doing mystery jobs with babies and newborns and they were trial trial and erroring these poor babies with the COVID vaccine. And so I was extremely worried about that just because I was like, you're not going to fucking stick my baby with anything that I don't agree with. But in that moment, and this is something that, like I said, if I hadn't trusted that nurse that took him, you know, from the beginning, I probably would have really been kicking myself. But I really I trusted her. I talked with her. I liked her. And she's the one that did it. I begged Chris to stay with me. I mean, you were still basically convulsing still. I mean, I mean, my body just could not handle it. No, she was cold. It was everything. I was like cold. I was hot. I was nauseous. I was dizzy. I was like so many things. And I was so freaked out because once like the excitement and like the adrenaline and the magic of like, OK, your baby's born now wears off, then you're just laying there on the table while they fill you up. And it feels like an eternity before you get to just be, you know, wheeled into recovery and have that golden hour. It feels like you're there for eight years and you're not. But it is the longest part. Like getting him out is quick. Typically, sewing you up because there's so many layers and they have to do internal stuff and blah, blah, blah. That takes like another, what, 30 or 45 minutes. It was like 15 minutes. It just felt like an hour. Mine took longer than 15 because they told me that. But that's because he was so big. Yeah, I guess that's true. It was like it was pushing 30 that I was laying there because I also remember looking up at that clock on the wall and seeing like it was going by pretty. I mean, it's obviously going to. Actually, I do recall you saying that there had been time passed and Ryder had been by himself that long. Yeah. The other doctors. Yeah. And so finally, I felt OK enough. The doctor gave me a nice little cocktail of Benadryl and Valium to calm me down. Because the minute they took Ryder, I was like a basket case again. And once that kind of kicked in, I felt sleepy and I was like, OK, I can I'm OK now. And I sent Chris out. I was like, you can go. They were finishing me up anyway. He was like, OK. So he went and was with Ryder and took some pictures and changed his first poopy diaper and did all that. And they sewed me up and cleaned me up and rolled me onto the little moving gurney thing. And that felt like I was going to fall off. I told Chris after I was like, they rolled me and I literally felt like I was just going to hit the ground. Like gravity was just not there. Gravity wasn't fucking with you. It was weird. They wheeled me in and I saw my little angel boiling in that little warmer, just waiting for me. 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