Intro and outro

Um, the basement boys finish each other off. The basement boys. Wow. Wow. Now we know what they mean by from the basement. From the basement. From the basement. We're from the basement. So we'll do our intro here too at some point. We should do an intro as the last bit here. Because we don't have an intro yet. So how do we want to like, when somebody pops up in the podcast, are we going to be like, you know, I'm Colton, this is Nick and Adam. And we're from the basement. Something stupid like that? Why don't you just come on down here. Sit. Sit down. Just come have a seat. Come listen to us. Come listen to us talk. Hi, Colton. Hi, Adam. Hey. What do you want to talk? Hey, we can have these people come down and listen to us on the couch. Sitting on the couch and doing what? Oh, they can get some information from the basement. Wait a second. What are we doing on the couch? They can get some information from the basement. Get information from the basement. Information from the basement. Oh, do you want some information from the basement? I'm Colton. I'm Nick. I'm in the basement. And that's Adam. And we're from the basement. I can probably cut pretty good chunks into that. You're dead. We've been sitting here for an hour just talking some stupid shit. Ridiculous. Spreadsheets. Spreadsheets. We go over spreadsheets. We go over nerdy, nostalgic fucking Facebook. Did you just see Omegle shut down? Yeah, what's up with that? Yeah, I mean, the guy just shut it down. Too many dicks. Too many dicks. Dude, I love me some Kermit the Frog. I'm getting TikTok'd. Oh, I almost forgot. I like the ones where they were pranking the woods. They had self-recorded videos. So a guy would be like, hey, what's up? What's your name? I'll listen. And then they would disappear. And then the guy would come back. And then all of a sudden, we have a guy from the next video in the background. And they freak out. Like, what the fuck? Omegle's supposed to be random. Yeah. Dude, have you ever looked up the Omegle prank videos? They're so fucking funny. Do you ever partake in that craze? What was the other one? Omegle and Chatroulette. Oh, Chatroulette, dude. I did Chatroulette. That's a weird fucking concept. I'm kind of glad it's not as big as it is. Did you ever get tipped on Chatroulette? Nah, I didn't. I got lucky once. I shit's fat. Oh, really? Well, what's wrong with that? Did you start one? Did you just show some peen? A little peen action? I did not. Oh, my bad, boy. Get that peen out there. I love your mouth. Get that peen out there. Wait, wait, wait. Were you legal? I'm not. All right, we've got to cut this whole segment here. Get some of that GLB peen. I showed the peen. Oh, God. The peen. Oh, the peen. Then you got some fat tits out of it? Hey, titties are titties. Did you ever do kick? Yeah. I did. Dude. Yeah. I didn't. Kick was the shit. A lot of raunchy... I never used it much. The one time I did... That was for like... The Cole thing we're talking about was illegal. That was for like chicks that had just... Is it illegal if we were the same age? Yeah. We were teenagers. It's fine at that point, yeah. Well, it's not fine. Is it legal for us to talk about it right now? No, it's not. It'd be illegal if we were just like, oh, man, I wish they were still that age. Oh, man, if I could go back in time... All right, Biden, calm down. GLB. GLB. Yeah. No. Kick. Yeah, fucking kick. What was the one... God, there were so many back in the day. You could just download any fucking app and it would just be like the weirdest and raunchiest shit ever. They did... Our parents should have supervised our internet access a lot more than they did. Dude, as I get older... I'm telling you, as I get older, I realize my parents knew way more than I thought. About your internet? About anything. No. Like, way more than I thought. This is an embarrassing story. I'm just going to say it. When I was a kid, I went over to my uncle's place and he had this nice-ass computer. It was kind of like a nice setup like this. You're not fucking cutting this story. And so my cousin goes to sleep. It's like midnight. And I'm like 13 years old and I had just discovered internet porn. So I go on and I have like 15 tabs open. I'm discovering the world. There is black chicks. There is Asian chicks. There is... Singles in my area. Singles in my area. Oh, I must go for some of those things. So, preface for this. I discovered internet porn like three months before this and destroyed the family computer downstairs. Virus after virus. My dad was like, what the fuck happened? And I was like, I was trying to play a game. I was trying to play a game and it was because you could... One of those games. Didn't know it was going to destroy my computer. It like, drew a hole through it basically. So, we didn't have a computer for like a month. And I'm itching bro. So I would go over to his house and I just watched the dirty shit. Like I was way too young for this shit. And I closed all the tabs. You wanted me to tell the story. You didn't want me to cut this. I closed all the tabs thinking I'm good. I don't realize. Like this was right when Chrome had like history. Like internet history. Did not realize that history was a thing. So, I left one of the tabs open. Which was stupid. Because he didn't have any tabs open. So, I should have just not had a tab open. I would have saved myself some time. And he goes, why is this up? And then he's like, first thing he did is. Okay, a 13 year old boy. Internet access. Let's look at his history. Bro, was that an embarrassing fucking conversation. Oh my. I sat in his living room. And he was like, you're watching porn on the family computer. And I'm like, I didn't know you could find that. And he was just like, that is disgusting. So, yeah, that's my embarrassing story. That's amazing. Anybody else? I have plenty of embarrassing stories too. You were not an embarrassing kid. I was an embarrassing kid. You're just not going to tell your stories. Nah. I will tell you though. When I discovered pornography. Searching online for new things. I was blessed. Internet. EFP. Oh, dude. I used to do that in class. Bro. For real? Fuck, we'd be at McDonald's on the road. Like, on trips, on vacations. We'd be at McDonald's and we'd be like. Titties, titties, titties, titties, titties. Same shit. I got my first fucking flip phone. And you can go to the internet browser on there. First thing I did was try to see if you could fucking go on any of those sites. And you could. I used to check it out on the Wii and the PlayStation 3. But on the Wii, it couldn't load shit. Because the Wii's wifi was terrible. That was one of the reasons why it sucked. Yeah. Plus wifi in general was shit. So, like my original. Well, not original. But like in high school. Early high school. My phone was on the Wii. And you had to. Instead of videos, you had to have. It was like a slideshow. Not a slideshow, but like. A photo shoot. You had to wait for it. It's like that. It was. I think it was South Park. Don't watch kid porn. No, don't. We gotta cut that part. Jesus. No, you ain't cutting that. It's like that South Park episode where they have like. Everything goes down. They try to watch porn. And it's just slowly loading. There's so many ghosts in here. It's slowly loading too. It's ectoplasm. It's just ectoplasm. Ectoplasm. There's so many ghosts. Oh, God. But yeah, because consoles couldn't get viruses. It was just. Yeah, some weird shit like that. And nowadays your phone. Like your phone used to be able to get viruses. Nowadays you can't. Yeah. Not from experience. Oh, man. That's all I fucking see. What's your algorithm? My phone has a virus. No, it doesn't. Janet, you have so many fucking apps on your phone that are bad. Well, look. Advertisements are popping up. It's because you downloaded some fucking phone cleaner app. AC cleaner works on your phone though. Dude, I don't want to. You don't need a cleaner app on your phone. No, just. I use it to mask, delete files and shit. That's fine. But. Just get rid of shit. Just clean it out every now and then. Like Samsung, for instance, has a fucking device cleaner built into it. It does. Yeah. You know. Now, granted, a lot of these things aren't, like, pushed out there for the public to know. But if you would just take a fucking second and click on your settings. Check literacy, baby. What's in here? Yeah. And I'm sure you've seen this, but I had a guy one time come in. He had an issue getting, like. It was at my, the last place I worked. And we were trying to set up his mobile app. And. Or he had an issue with, like, a balance on there. And he was showing me. And he, like, swipes over one screen. Like, his main. You know, you have multiple main screens. The pages of it. He swipes over. And, dude, it's just a whole bunch of Google Chrome logos. And then, like, different porn names on there. And Harry Bush. PH. PH. You know, the classic black and orange. Yeah. And I'm like. Save to desktop. The worst. Sometimes you get ladies. And you've got to check their phones. And, like, they'll get texts while they're sitting there. And I'm like. Old ladies are. Or you can, like. Rose. Rose. They're getting stammed, bro. That's true. Yeah. Well, yeah. Which sucks. Unless. I mean. There's somewhere. It is. Like, their actual friend. And they're just, like, weird, gross people. And they're like. Go meet my friend at the airport. And then you say. I can't wait to do this. And this dude. I'm like. Why do I work in a career. It pops up on their phone. Just because their phones are this big, too. And you can't. Yeah. Like, not read it. Yeah. Because it's, like, the size of a fucking. You're literally, like, trying to help them fix their shit. And it's popping up. These messages. And it's, like. Or. More often than it should be. My favorite is, like. The boyfriend gets caught with a subscription to a site. Yeah. Yeah. That he got caught with. Yeah. And he's like. That's not fucking mine. With the girlfriend right next to him. And you can see. Like. Like that. Key and Peele skit. Where he, like. Sweats really, like. Hard. I like to see that. But. Constantly. Yeah. People coming in. And they're just, like. Yeah. I don't know. And they're coming with their wife. And they're, like. Yeah. I don't know. What's going on? It's, like. Well. Because of what you're looking at. What are you looking at? What are you looking at? Bro. I had a guy. Right before he left my last job. He. He couldn't get approved for a loan. He's, like. Why's my credit so bad? I'm, like. Well. They've got a lot of recent credit cards open. I'm, like. Ugh. I hate when they say that. I'm, like. No. It's on here. And they're recent. So, you should remember. Something's going on. If you don't. So, finally. Like. A light bulb went off. And he, like. Called his wife. And they, like. Just got married. And he got all these cards out in his name, huh? Yeah. And he was. Like. I heard it. He sat right there. He called. He's, like. Did you open, like. Four credit cards? When you were out shopping? And I heard Rose on. And then. Ugh. He was a. He was a jackass, anyway. But. Ugh. That's nuts. Alright. Let's do an outro, now. We just did an intro at the beginning. We're going to cut. We've got a Hawaiian whisper in the mic. Oh, dude. Thanks for coming and getting some information. From the basement. Where did we get the information, again? Oh, we got it from the basement. From the basement? Oh. From the basement. Oh. From the basement. I love getting the basement. Oh, wait. Well, thanks for listening. From the basement. Yeah, thanks for coming to the basement. We're coming from the basement. We're coming where? From the basement. Who came in the basement? We're about. You did. Thanks for listening. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about. We're about.