Emotional Bank

The podcast discusses the concept of the "emotional bank," which refers to a person's emotional capacity or ability to handle emotions. The speaker explains that everyone's emotional bank is different, and it can fluctuate based on various factors. It is important to recognize what drains or impacts one's emotional bank and set healthy boundaries. The speaker shares personal experiences and suggests self-care activities like walking to recharge the emotional bank. It is okay to say no and prioritize one's own emotional well-being. The speaker emphasizes the importance of preserving one's mental health and encourages listeners to assess their emotional bank and make necessary adjustments. Hey girl, hey. Welcome back to the Female Freedom Podcast. If you are ready to feel your best and unleash your inner badass, you are in the right place. So let's jump into today's topic which is your emotional bank. And now if you don't know what emotional bank is or what yours is, it's truly your ability or your capacity, that's a better word, your capacity of what you can handle emotionally. Maybe in a day, in a week, usually that's going to be the best way because it's going to fluctuate based upon the things that you are doing. But there's a limit. Think about if you, real money because we can visualize that, if your emotional bank has $10 in it, then you know how much you can spend before you go negative. Because when you go negative, that makes you angry, makes you frustrated, makes you do or say things that you normally wouldn't and it's not a good situation to be in. And everybody's banks are different. So don't look at my bank or your neighbor's bank or anybody else's emotional bank because extroverts, their bank, they could have $1,000 in their emotional bank at all and any time. And they could go around people and they could add another $1,000. Introverts, on the other hand, we might only have $10 in our bank and going around people might take $750 and so we are already low on our emotional bank. And so it's important for you to truly recognize what your emotional bank is. And while doing that and looking, what are things or people who drain or have a big impact on your emotional bank? You want to be aware and recognize your quote unquote spending. Maybe there's one particular thing where you're like, oh my god, every time I do it, I get a headache and I'm just exhausted afterwards. That is draining your emotional bank. Maybe there's a particular person or people to where you're like, oh my god, just going around them just exhausts me. I mean, I've had that. I've been around somebody and they've been like, oh my god, being around you gives me so much energy. It's amazing. And I'm literally like walking away, can't even keep my eyes open. Like, I don't know what it is about that person, but they just drain me. Like they were taking not on purpose, but they were taking all of my emotional energy and they were walking away so unhappy and I was exhausted. And so there's certain people and situations who are going to have a larger impact. But this is where you want to have boundaries, but healthy boundaries and not isolation. And if COVID 2020 taught us anything, I think there's definitely a fine line and you might have to play with your boundaries and get comfortable with your bank and the availability that you have. I can tell you me personally, Monday through Friday, I am talking, I am on videos, I am working, I am in meetings, I am peopling for anywhere from 12 to 14 hours a day and maybe even more going into the night utilizing my brain capacity. So when it comes into the weekends, my reserves are very low and I know that I have to implement boundaries and do some heavy self-care to deposit back into my emotional bank to be sure that I can keep up and continue and go and do the same thing the next week. Because you don't want to burn out because if you are going negative and negative and negative and negative, you know what happens? Bankrupt. You go bankrupt and you're not recovering from that. So we want to be sure that we're doing things that are good, that are depositing back, they're recharging your emotional bank. And this is one thing, if it's even in a day and it's a draining situation or a draining conversation, a quick 20 minute walk without a phone, just to let it all go and recharge. Maybe your bank has 10 bucks in it, a person or a situation takes five off, you're half, you're not feeling your best. Maybe you can go for a walk and you can add three bucks. So you're back up to eight out of your 10 bucks. Like it's the balance, but it's understanding your reserves and where you are at. And this is, you got to be, you can communicate these reserves or these needs or these boundaries with people around you and be sure that they understand. And it's okay, you don't have to feel guilty about these. It is simply saying, look, I don't have the time right now, let's touch base tomorrow. Or I really can't right now, but maybe next week. There's a book, it's called The Joy of Missing Out. If you're not familiar, look it up, read it. It's a great book. And you can say no without feeling guilty and just put your expectations out there. Because again, think about it in a monetary value. If you have $10 and a friend or a family member or a neighbor or somebody came up to you or approached you and said, Hey, can you loan me 20 bucks? No, I don't have it. Oh, come on, but I really need 20 bucks. Okay, I don't have it. Okay, boom, because you don't have it. If your emotional bank and your capacity is met and you just do not have the energy to deal with the situation or the person, it is okay to express that in a kind, polite, mature way of being I'm sorry, I'm not available right now. And being able to set those boundaries. There's really it comes to you have to have the confidence and the belief in yourself that that's okay. And this is also coming from somebody who has struggled with narcissist abuse and struggled with insecurities and self doubt and negative thinking and all of these different items. It's very hard to set those boundaries. Because you don't want to make the other person mad. You don't want to upset the other person. You don't want to come off the wrong way. But where are you in that equation? Because that's about them about them about them. And if it's a good friendship or a relationship, or somebody who's going to be in your life and truly cares, they should respect you for respecting yourself. So you want to find a self care routine, find something that is going to refill your bank to recharge you, build up your confidence in your energy, all together. I highly, highly encourage walking. Everybody has access to it. It is free. It is something that helps so much. A lot of the times I will say, I walk for my mental health, or I walk to reduce my anxiety. I walk a lot. My walking is not for my physical health. It is for my emotional health. It deposits back into my emotional bank. So I challenge you to look at your emotional bank, look at your capacity, look at who, what, where is taking or having the most negative impact on your emotional reserves, and maybe who's adding to that, and adjust accordingly as necessary. But when your bank is low, or running on negative, you're bitchy, you're moody, you're short, you're temperamental, you feel like shit, and it's just a rolling effect. Stress, anxiety, everything else, your mental health matters, and that is your emotional bank to preserve. I hope this helps you. Thank you so much for listening, and I will see you next time.