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AA is a self-supporting group that helps alcoholics achieve sobriety. They have certain guidelines and traditions to maintain a safe and welcoming environment. They encourage members to get involved in sponsorship and celebrate milestones of sobriety. A speaker at a meeting shares their personal experience with alcoholism and recovery. There are no dues or fees for AA membership, we are self-supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization, or institution, does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety. We're going to start with an announcement from Dave right away. I'm Dave, I'm an alcoholic. I'm the phone list coordinator and at that time of year we usually do this twice a year and stick it on the phone list and let me tell you how important it is. This is for a lot of times a newcomer doesn't have a ride here, wants some information about the meeting and all you have to do is put your name on there, initial, last name, phone, phone number, city, sobriety date if you want, and if it's your home group, willing to sponsor with a check and willing to give a ride and put your email down too also. We're going to be doing this for the next three weeks and I'll be updating. Thank you everyone. This is an open meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. We're glad you're here, especially newcomers. In keeping with our singleness of purpose and our third tradition which states that the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking, we ask that all who participate be alcoholic. Our group endeavors to provide a safe meeting place for all attendees and encourages each person here to contribute to fostering a secure and welcoming environment in which our meetings can take place. As our traditions remind us, the formation and operation of an AA group resides with the group conscience, therefore we ask that group members and others refrain from any behavior which may compromise another person's safety. I have asked Erin to read Working with Others. All right, good evening everyone. I'm Erin, I'm an alcoholic. Working with Others, practical experience will show that nothing will show so much and ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when all other activities fail. This is our 12th suggestion. Carry this message to other alcoholics. You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill. Life will take on a new meaning to help to watch people recover and to help others to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends. This is an experience that you must not miss and we know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. Thank you, Erin. We would like to extend a special welcome to any newcomers, any AA members from other groups, and to those visiting us from out of town. Whether you are here with us or attending via Zoom, would anyone who has less than 30 days sobriety and anyone visiting us for the first time or visiting from out of town, please stand, introduce yourself, let us know your name, where you're from, and how long you have been sober so that we can welcome you. We'll pass around the microphone so everyone here and online can hear you. For those attending online, please add your name to the chat and we will call on you right after that. I don't see you there. Any online? Joe? Online Zoom, Joe? Joe Alcoholic, please? Joe? Joe Alcoholic, 28 days. Anyone who is an alcoholic may be a member of Fox Health Chapter 7 group. To be included in our membership roster, please sign your name, phone number, and sobriety date on the list found on the back table. Please make changes on the same list whenever they may occur. For those attending online, please email your name, phone number, and sobriety date to foxhealthchapter7 at gmail.com. If you have questions about membership, please feel free to ask me after the meeting. Although it was not referred to as sponsorship, Alcoholics Anonymous began by one alcoholic working with another alcoholic. The Fox Health Chapter 7 group strongly believes in the benefits of sponsorship. Sponsorship is one alcoholic sharing their experience on a continual, individual basis with another alcoholic who is attempting to stay sober and AA. Will all members of Alcoholics Anonymous who are willing to be a sponsor, please raise your hand. If any person here does not have a sponsor, please feel free to ask any of the people. You can see any of the people raising their hands or you can see a sponsorship chair people. Joe S. or Tracy B. at the literature table during the break or after the meeting. If you are attending online and you do not have a sponsor, please write your name in the chat so our online chairperson can reach out to you or send a message to anyone willing to sponsor on their screen name. Each week we celebrate the miracle of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous by acknowledging 30 days, three months, six months, and one or more years of continuous sobriety. Would anyone who has celebrated one of those AA anniversaries during the last week, please stand, introduce yourself, and give us your sobriety date. For those attending online, please add your name to the chat and we will call on you after that. Hi, my name is Ryan Baxter. Hi, my name is William White and today I celebrate 30 days. Hi, I'm Tucker. I'm an alcoholic. On Saturday I had six months. And I'm Ilkenia. I have two years today. No one online. Fox Hall has a celebration on the first Thursday of each month for those having six months and annual anniversaries in the previous month. If you'd like to celebrate your anniversary here with us, invite your sponsor to give you your card and then see our birthday coordinator, Theresa C. in the back of the room before meeting on the first Thursday of the month. We would like to give our members every opportunity to be of service in this group and AA as a whole. For this reason, you will find 12-step opportunity sign-up lists on the table at the back corner of the room. These include answering phones at the intergroup office, taking meetings at the detox at 1800 Chicago, and taking meetings into Fairview Riverside. If you have an open chair next to you, please raise your hand. People who are standing here are seats for you if you would like. Thank you. Tonight we have two speakers. Our first speaker is Grace from Common Solutions. Hi, my name is Grace and I'm an alcoholic. Okay, so I have a home group. I have a sponsor and my sobriety date is February 24th, 2014. Thank you, Justin, for asking me to speak here. I've been to this meeting a couple times, but it's nice to see a lot of familiar faces here and it's an honor to be of service. I had my first overdose when I was about five or six years old. I don't remember the overdosing part so clearly, but I remember waking up in a children's hospital after having my stomach pumped and I remember seeing all the fish in the aquarium. And I had overdosed on Flintstone vitamins. So, I don't know exactly what happened, but I know I ate a whole bottle. And it hadn't really dawned on me that that might be a symbol of things to come until recently. But I just look back and I'm like, huh, that's weird. But I was a child of two alcoholic parents. Both of them have been sober most of my life. I went to my first AA meeting at the New Hope Alano Clubhouse when I was probably about eight or nine years old. My mom brought me there. And I remember seeing a bunch of old guys playing cribbage and smoking cigarettes and sitting outside the meeting rooms while my mom went in to have her meeting. That's kind of what I thought alcoholics were, right? Like, they were old guys smoking cigarettes, playing cribbage. They were my parents. I never really could see myself as an alcoholic, even when I finally made it into these rooms. Like, I didn't really think I fit. So, my first drink was around the age of 13. The first time I remember drinking hard liquor, I was in the parking lot outside of the Restill Mall with a bunch of friends. And I just really felt like I didn't fit in. And I felt like everyone who lived in that car had drank before and they were, like, really cool. And so I wanted to also be cool. And so when the water bottle full of vodka got to me, I, like, squeezed it and I tried to drink as much as I could because I thought that meant, like, it'll make it seem like I've done this before, right? And I, right away, I remember feeling, like, like warmth and just feeling a little bit, like, more relaxed. But I remember thinking it tasted like nail polish remover smells and not enjoying the taste at all right away. And then we went into the Restill Mall and I blacked out. I don't remember anything else from that experience. And I don't think that was, like, my first time drinking. I think I snuck, like, sips from bottles of wine and stuff before that. But I tell that story because I do think it's very representative of what my drinking career looked like. I was usually trying to drink hard liquor. I was doing it to get messed up. I wanted to relax and to fit in and to be cool and be social because there was, like, a gaping hole inside of me. And I was a blackout drinker pretty much from the beginning. So that was kind of how I drank the whole way through. And I got into a lot of trouble with my drinking very early on. I had a really troubled, I was a very troubled teenager, to say. My dad has so many stories that are, it's really, it's really awful, like, the things I would do to the people around me. Like, I continually, I kept getting suspended from school. Like, the cops were always coming because I was sneaking off, getting in trouble. Like, there was one time I let my boyfriend drive my car drunk because I was drunk, so I wasn't going to drive. And we wanted McDonald's. So we went to McDonald's drinking and driving, and the cops tried to pull us over, and he tried to outrun the cops. My dad, that didn't work, right? Obviously. My dad had to, like, come pick me up from the cop shop down in Hutchinson at, like, 3 a.m. This is when I was, like, 16, right? And, like, the trouble didn't stop there. Like, I just, I kept getting into trouble. And it wasn't just alcohol, like, pretty early on. I'll focus on that. But, like, I was, anything he would give me, I would take. I wanted it all. So, and I feel like that's not just true with substances in my life. It's true with toys. It is true with money. It is true with so many different things. Like, I just want more, more, more, more, more. So I decided to go to college down in Mankato because it was a party school, and I knew some of my friends were going to go. We were going to drink and have a really fun time. These are, like, how I made decisions in my life, right? Like, where can I go to drink and to be with my people? So that's how I chose where I was going to college. And I was around a lot of people who drank heavy, like, heavy drinkers. I don't think everyone was drinking the same way I was. When I would drink, I would, like, take a shot at a party, and instead of, like, enjoying the party or, like, talking to people or, like, playing beer pong or whatever, I would just be like, okay, where's the next drink? And I was obsessed with, like, shot after shot after shot after shot. That's all I really cared about. And what happened is I, I mean, I really started to hurt every single person that loved me because all I cared about was getting drunk. I was just a very, very selfish person, and if you got in the way of that, then, like, I would do whatever I could to get alcohol. I was a very mean drunk. I was a very angry drunk. I got into a lot of fistfights. I got my friends kicked out of many bars. I'd lost my stuff all over downtown Mankato, like, purse here, car keys there, wallet there. Like, made my friends go downtown and try to find all my stuff the next night. I would, like, sleep with people's boyfriends and wake up next to people I didn't know very frequently. And so, as you can imagine, like, partying with me wasn't very fun because I'm, like, a mean person who's going to look for a way to fight you or sleep with your boyfriend or will puke in your car or pass out in your bed or whatever, right? So, like, no one wants to be around me at this point. And this is, like, in college, right? So, I'm going to school, and somehow I'm showing up for all my classes, but I don't think I was sober in a single class during college. I think I was high at every single class I went to, but somehow I managed to still fill in decent grades. So, in some ways, my life looked okay. It's, like, you were looking from, like, an outsider perspective, but if you were with me at these parties, like, you knew things weren't good. And that's what was happening. Like, all my friends, like, the girl I lived in dorms with and then got my first apartment with, she's been my best friend since I was three. And her and a bunch of my other friends were like, well, you clearly have a problem. Like, you're continually getting into trouble, right? Every single time you drink, you wake up the next morning, I'm so sorry, like, I'll never do it again. Then you do it again. And I couldn't see that. Like, it sounds bizarre, like, looking back, because there were so many, like, clues that alcohol was a problem, but, like, I didn't get it at all. And all I could say at that point was, like, but you all are drinking with me. Like, how can you tell me that I need to not drink when you are all at the bars with me, you're doing all the same things I'm doing? That's, like, how I thought in my head, right? They weren't. Like, no one was doing all the same things to me that I was doing to them, but I just really couldn't see that. And also, I just wasn't ready, right? Like, I couldn't imagine a life without alcohol, because everything in my life revolved around alcohol. Everything I did involved drinking, and I loved to party. I'm a very social person. Like, I love being around people. And I was like, well, if I can't drink, then how can I, like, be around people and be social and go out? So I tried to cut back my drinking. I tried to limit things just to kind of get people off my back, not because I really wanted to quit, but I just didn't want to keep getting in trouble. I didn't want to lose friends over it, and that was starting to happen. I would try to tally my drinks on my hand so I wouldn't drink too many, and that didn't work. I have pictures of myself with, like, 20 tallies on my hand. I really do. I'm, like, eating a burrito really drunk with, like, a ton of tallies on my hand. But in my mind, it was just like, well, if I could just stop at four, then there would never be a problem, right? Like, if I can just stop at four. So that was kind of, like, my goal is, like, how can I just limit it? So, like, what happened? I guess the last night of my drinking wasn't necessarily any worse than any other night. Like, I was really drunk. I did a lot of stupid things. There was this boy that I was really trying to impress, and I made a fool of myself. And the next day, it was so bad that, like, I literally had to have a cab driver that night tuck me into bed. Like, he called my friend to let him let them know that he had to get me into my apartment because I was so drunk I couldn't get my keys out of my purse. I was, like, on the steps of my apartment, like, not able to physically get inside. And he's, like, I want you to know that, like, I walked her in because I assumed if anyone had seen that, that would have, yeah, didn't want to have any trouble. So the next morning, I woke up, and, like, I knew I had messed up again, right? But, like, this was not new to me. I had done stuff way worse than this before in my drinking. So I kind of felt like, I'll just apologize, and, like, things will be okay, right? Like, I can continue on. But it was very clear that this guy would not have anything to do with me. And for some reason, like, I'm so boy-crazy that, like, I feel like that was, like, my higher power getting through to me because that was the only thing I cared about at the time. But this guy wanted nothing to do with me. And so I was, like, I'm going to do whatever I can to get this guy to give me another chance. And I thought the only thing I could do was to give up drinking. So I promised. I was, like, I'll never have another drink again. And I actually didn't. That was the last day. That was the last day I ever drank. That's March 31st, 2013. Now, that is not my sobriety day, but it is the last day I ever had a drink. After that, I tried the marijuana maintenance program for a little bit less than a year. And during that time, I was, like, very, very miserable. I also consider myself addicted to marijuana, as I am also an alcohol addict. But it just, not having the alcohol was really hard. And then not having any solution was really hard. And at that time, I felt like I was completely spiritually bankrupt. I had lost most of my friends at that point. I had been lying to my dad, like, anyone in my family. I wasn't really close with people anymore. I had so many mental health problems, like depression, anxiety, many thoughts of suicide. I was humiliated at all the things I had done and felt really heavy with guilt and shame. And it kind of just turned into, like, a mental health crisis, where there was one day I, like, blew up on my dad, and I was just, I was like, I need help, right? Like, I need to do something. And he was like, well, why don't you try going to AA? My dad's been sober 23 years now. He's like, why don't you try doing that? And I'll schedule you an appointment with a therapist. He said, well, I'll take you to go get therapy if you give AA a shot. And so that was, like, enough for me to get my foot in the door. I still, like, really didn't think alcohol was the problem, which is, like, so weird. But I just, I was like, I don't think that's it. But, like, I'm willing to do something. It's put a little bit of, like, work in. And so I went to my first meeting. And it was a meeting in a church basin in Minneapolis. I don't remember what meeting it was. I don't remember what we talked about. But I walked in, and I told the greeter that I was new there. And he walked me over to a group of women who asked about me, who seemed to genuinely be interested in what I had to say, who made me feel welcomed into the space, who made me feel, like, a little bit more comfortable than I was when I walked in. And so when I left that meeting, many of the women gave me their phone numbers and was like, let's get coffee, reach out. And I never reached out, never got coffee with any of them, because I wasn't really ready to open up and be honest and share my story. And I really didn't think I was, like, one of you all, either. But at least, like, that first meeting was good enough, and I felt welcomed in enough that I was willing to continue to go back. And so I found a speaker meeting that was really close to my house in Maple Grove. It was a Wednesday night speaker meeting. And I started going to that meeting every Wednesday night, and I would get there, like, a minute after the speaker started and leave, like, right away after, because I did not want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to, like, go the day I was going, so I could tell my dad I was kind of meeting. And somewhere along this time of, like, just kind of going to speaker meetings, I started to really connect with what you were saying, because I was actually listening more than I was talking, for one. And I could hear that there were so many similarities between my story and your story. And I don't know, like, when the exact moment was that I was like, I belong here. But I just started to feel like I was, you know, one of you all. With the marijuana situation, I ended up going on a long trip and was able to get away from it for a week, and that was, like, good enough to get me started. And then I was just like, let's see how long I can go without it. And, you know, it's been 10 years now. Which is really cool, but also a little bit of a miracle, right? And I think, I mean, it's this program. So I was going to speaker meetings, kind of just listening to what people had to say, and I found this woman when I was there. Like, there was one time I was, like, they were doing, like, birthdays or whatever. I was like, okay, I've got six months. And she was, like, came and congratulated me afterwards and was kind of asking about me. She was like, do you have a sponsor? I'm like, no, no sponsors. I'm going to this one speaker meeting a week. That's what I'm doing. They're, like, holding on so tight. And she recommended that I try going to the, there was a young person's meeting on Thursday nights called Bright Spot Candlelight. It's still going on in Maple Grove. It's a great young person's meeting if you're interested in that. And so I started going there every week, and it was just so cool to see other young people in variety. Like, I hadn't seen that a whole lot. And it became a place where I was able to open up and, like, really be honest with the people in the room about the things I had done. And I hadn't really, like, done that before. And hearing how other people were sharing, it just made me feel comfortable sharing a bit more of myself. And so I started going to that. That was my first home group. And I think, I mean, even today, having a home group is so important to me because it gave me a spot to be every single week, where I got my first service position in AA. I was, I think, the greeter for a while. But then I was, like, the treasurer, I think, probably way too soon. I didn't, like, screw anything up. I just, like, looking back, I'm like, I don't think I have that much sobriety. And, like, letting me have money does not seem like a great idea looking back. But I showed up as the treasurer for a while. And then I was, like, the chairperson of the meeting for a while. And I truly think at that point in my sobriety, I was not doing, like, all the things, right? Like, I had this woman as my sponsor. But, like, I was kind of just calling her in emergencies. Like, I would call her if I had a craving or I thought I was going to drink. But it wasn't like I was, like, actively working the steps with her or, like, she was, like, really in tune to what was going on in my life or anything. And I, you know, I wasn't working the steps. I was just kind of going to this meeting every single week. And I had a service commitment. But I think because of that, I stayed sober even when I was doing other things not so great in my program. So service is something that I really I just really love. And it's kept I think it's kept me sober when I wasn't doing all the right things. After about four years of sobriety, things started to get pretty bad, right? I hadn't really worked my steps at that point. But I had been, like, trying to kind of do it on my own. Like, I'd be Googling, like, how to do steps and then, like, doing that because I just wanted to do it all on my own. I didn't want a sponsor telling me what to do. I wanted to figure it out on my own. And so and I'd go to, like, a four-step workshop, right? Which is, like, it's great. I'm not trying to, like, diss on those. Those are awesome. But, like, I don't know how much you can write down in, like, an hour or a couple hours. Like, my four steps took a lot longer than that to do when I did it. So I had, like, kind of haphazardly done some step work. But it really wasn't very, like, thorough at that point. But the cool thing was I, like, the cravings were gone, right? Like, I could go places and I didn't, like, obsess over alcohol. I wasn't, like, focused on it. And, like, that was so different for me than the life I lived before I came into the program and did not have cravings. It was really amazing. And things started to really turn around in my life, like, on the outside. Like, I got into law school. I graduated, you know, top of my class. I got a good job. Like, financially things were getting better. Because, like, for a long time, I was not financially independent whatsoever. And even at this point, I still really wasn't. But I was making a little bit more money. So it was, like, looking a little bit better. But, like, again, from the outside, right? Like, things are starting to look good. It seems like I've got my life together a little bit more than I had it before. I had, like, I believe at this point, I haven't talked a lot about a higher power because I really didn't have one in my drinking at all. I had no, I didn't grow up in a religious family. I didn't really have a conception of a higher power. And my first four years of sobriety, I think I was, like, willing to believe in something. But that was kind of as far as it had gotten. Like, I was just, yeah, I remember my first couple meetings, like, I wouldn't even say the Lord's Prayer. So I was like, that's not for me. And then, you know, by the end of four years of sobriety, like, I'm participating. I'm, like, willing to believe. But I didn't have, like, a personal connection with a higher power. And so looking back now, I kind of think, you know, maybe I wasn't too far from a drink, even though I felt fine. Because I really think, you know, this program's about finding that for yourself and developing that. And that's when I ran into, like, my current sponsor. It's just weird how she came into my life. I actually knew her when we were both drinking a very long time ago. But when I asked her to be my sponsor, she suggested we have coffee and talk about what sponsorship looked like. And at that time, what we were doing is, it would be, like, three meetings a week. Your home group, my home group is your home group. You get a service commitment in your home group. We have a call time every single week. Like, all the things. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I've been going to, like, one meeting a week, not really doing a whole lot else. Like, have service commitments, but that's it. And this sounds like a lot of stuff. And I was really, like, not really sure I was into it. But I kind of thought, like, my dad said plenty of times before, like, try something for six months. If it doesn't work out, you can stop. Right? So I was like, okay, I'll give this a go. We'll try it. Because I did know that, like, when other people talked about sponsorship, it sounded good. And I didn't have what other people had with sponsorship. So I wanted that. So I was willing to give it a try. You know, her home group became my home group. I got a service commitment there. I started to do the things. And we started to sit down at our kitchen table and read the big book together. And I had never done that with anyone before. And it was really special. I don't want to get choked up. But it was just really cool. I was talking to my pigeon sister about it tonight. It's just, like, how our sponsor has a way of, like, making words kind of come off the page. Right? And, like, giving it, like, real, like, practical meaning. And it's just something I had never had before. And by having a call time with her every week and actually sharing some of what I was going on, like, what was going on in my life honestly with her, she got to know me. And she was actually able to give me advice that was helpful because she knew what was going on in my life. Right? She wasn't my emergency line anymore. She was someone I was, like, consciously in contact with. And because of that and starting to work the steps with her, working one, two, and three with her, I did start to have a personal relationship with a higher power of my understanding. And then four, I took a very long time on. Five, we got to five in the middle of COVID. And we were meeting online to do five. We had a couple, like, sessions. And then finally by the time at the end, I was able to, like, sit down in our garden with her and finish five in her backyard and go back and sit silently in her room for an hour. And I remember thinking, like, this is the longest I've ever been quiet by myself in my whole life. But I did find some relief in that moment. And that, I think, was really the first time I've ever really meditated before. Over the last couple years, I've definitely had some challenges. I feel like there have been certain things that I've been doing kind of, like, checkboxy. Right? And I think about meditation as one of those things, prayer meditation for me. I feel like last year, I had this habit of, like, okay, I'm going to make sure I spend ten minutes a day doing my daily reflection, then my gratitude journal, then my prayer, and then this. And, like, by doing that, I feel like I kind of was losing the feeling of it. It felt almost, like, robotic. And, like, I wasn't really having this relationship with my higher power. I was just, like, okay, check. Did it today. Good job. Because I love, like, checking boxes, right? And, like, just scratching off things off my to-do list. And I think that was starting to become a little bit what my program was last year. Like, okay, I'm going to service physician. Yep, got it. Going to do this. And I had a really... And also, I feel like I was kind of expecting, like, God to just give me what I wanted and not really, like... I was like, okay, I'm doing all the things, so why am I feeling a little bit miserable right now? So, like, I'm being of service. I am praying and meditating every day, so why do I not feel good? And I just... Part of it, I do think, is I'm, you know, I've been working my seven steps. They're looking at my character defects pretty... With, like, a microscope, right? And that can be hard. They're not as big today, but they still exist, and sometimes it can be hard for me to deal with that. But overall, I feel good about the person I am today, right? Like, I don't live with the guilt and the shame that I lived with so many years ago. I feel like, like, AA, working the steps, the relationship with a higher power, that's relieved me of that guilt. I get to live a life where I'm, like, present for the people around me today, and I show up for people. Like, no one who knew me when I was drinking would call me, like, responsible or kind, but I feel like I'm generally a responsible and kind person today. Like, I'm a good member of society. I try to help other people. I try to be of service. Service is still a really important part of my program. I'm going to make a plug since I have the microphone. I am looking for volunteers at the Intergroup Open House on Saturday, August 10th. So if you're able to volunteer, I have my sign-up sheet in my purse with me tonight. But yeah, I mean, by doing these things in the program, like, at one point, it felt like more like a chore, and now it does feel like something I get to do and I'm honored to do, and it's given me a lot of freedom, joy, and happiness. Like, I feel like I can go anywhere or in the world, and I don't have the desire to drink right now because of my spiritual connection and the connections I have in this program, right? Like, I get to go on vacations and do fun things and go to parties and live a really fun life, and that's not something I thought I could ever have without alcohol. So you showed me it's possible. It's possible to walk into a room, like, 100 people you don't know and make conversations with people you're not from, and I didn't think that was something I'd ever be capable of doing. So, so grateful for the life I live today. It's, you know, it's not perfect, and there's still a lot of things I'm working on, but I really, really am so happy to have a sponsor I get to do it with, Pigeon Sisters I get to do it with, and all of you. So with that, I'll pass. Thank you. Thank you, Grace. This meeting is being audio recorded. Our ASL interpreter is being video recorded. If you would like to receive a weekly email of the speakers, please email foxhallchapter7 at gmail.com to be added to the email list, or you may see our email administrator, Jim B. The designated smoking area is up the stairs and out the door where the sidewalk meets the parking lot. When smoking, please stay within the designated area, and please deposit your cigarette butts in the receptacle. Out of respect for the second speaker and our announcement coordinators, please be back in five minutes. So inviting alcoholics. We have fellowship before the meeting. A lot of people come, shake a lot of hands, get a lot of hugs, a lot of laughing. You know, we call that laughing, all that noise, it's the music of AA. It's like, yes. And afterwards, same thing. And I was told to remind everybody there's a business meeting tonight, so if you remember that. So here's some announcements we have. This is coming up right soon. Tradition 1, the 28th anniversary party, Saturday, July 20th, so that's the day after tomorrow. 630 party, 730 meeting, Pilgrim United Methodist Church on Zachary Lane and Plymouth. There will be root beer floats and treats. This is one I haven't seen before. A Better Way AA, Monday, July 29th, 24th, two-year anniversary speaker meeting and potluck. This is meeting time is 6-7, potluck speaker 7. It's going to be our own Kurt Hay from this meeting, who's going to be the speaker. And the location is at St. Michael's Lutheran Church, 9201 Normandale Road. And then the 6th annual potluck, open potluck anniversary meeting at B Basic 12, Tuesday, July 30th, 6 p.m., potluck, bring a dish to share speaker meeting. Speaker will be Lisa B from the Tuesday night Basic 12 group, Golden Valley. And last but not least, 17th annual Rule 62 anniversary meeting will be on September 18th. It'll be a potluck, potluck, 630, speaker meeting at 730. Our own Brenda will be the speaker. If you can bring something to share, great. There'll be coffee, entree, and water provided. If you want to know what Rule 62 is, read page 149 in the 12th and 12th study all about it. Thank you. Thank you for letting me share. Hey, everyone. My name is Maverick. I'm an alcoholic. Just going over the treasury numbers for June. We had a beginning balance of $1,000. Total contributions were $1,816.63. Total expenses were $1,473.67, leaving contributions plus expenses of $342.96. So that was split between the entities. 30% to GSO, 10% to Southern Area, 10% to District 7, and 50% to Intergroup. If you have questions or you want to hear more, feel free to stop by the business meeting. Thank you. And there was a bathroom mat, so if anyone wants to claim it, it's right here. Hi, I'm Haley. I'm an alcoholic. I'm serving as your alternate secretary. Next Thursday is our last week of the current job rotations of the current three months and six-month jobs. So I've got fresh binders on the back table if you want to sign up for a three-month or six-month position starting August 1st. Thank you. Hi, I'm an alcoholic. This group's cleanup coordinator. I'm just going to show of hands. I need four volunteers to help clean up tonight after the meeting. That's three, four. Thank you. This is our anonymity statement. There may be some of you here who are not familiar with our tradition of personal anonymity at the public level. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion. We need to always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films. Thus, we respectfully ask that AA speakers and AA members not be photographed, video recorded, or identified by full name on audio recordings and in published or broadcast reports for meetings, including those reports on other media technologies such as the Internet. The assurance of anonymity is essential to our efforts to help other problem drinkers who may wish to share their recovery program with us. And our tradition of anonymity reminds us that AA principles come before personalities. Our second speaker tonight is Bob T. from Slip Snag. Hello, I'm Bob. I'm an alcoholic. Thank you for the opportunity to be of service this evening. I had the opportunity to come to Fox Hall recently, just a few weeks ago. For the first time, I've heard a lot about Fox Hall in my years over at Slip Snag. One of the first concepts I learned in this program is that if you want to stay sober, there are three things that are very important. And that's to find an AA meeting and find that home group and go every week to that home group to get a sponsor and to use that sponsor and to stay sober 24 hours a day, just for today. My home group, as was mentioned, is the St. Louis Park Sunday Night Group. We call it Slip Snag. It's at 730 in St. Louis Park. I have a sponsor and I sponsor other men in the program. And my dry date is June 16, 1980. What it was like for me, I came from a pretty wonderful family. There is some Irish Catholic in our family, as I often hear in these rooms, on my mom's side of the family. So there was some alcoholism on her side of the family, but it wasn't in my immediate family. But I also, there was always that discussion about that and that message that you need to be careful about alcohol because it can cause a lot of, it caused a lot of horror in my mom's life and things. And she didn't talk about it a whole lot until we were older, but I knew there were some things that were going on. I had a lot of that anxiety. I had a lot of that, I don't know, just a lot of times you hear people talk about not really feeling like they fit in. And that was going on for me as a youth. I had that anxiety. I had that fear, that thing that the big book talks about, that fear of impending doom. I ended up moving up here. I was born in Iowa and I moved up here when I was in junior high. And to move from a little town to a big suburb in junior high is, junior high is hard enough. But to do that, it didn't really help. But I went to high school and things went well in high school. I was working to help pay for my high school. I went to a Catholic high school. I was working to help pay for my high school. And I wasn't drinking. I had chosen, I'm the youngest of four, but I had chosen not to drink, at least initially in high school. And the first time I ever decided to drink, it wasn't to just try a drink of alcohol, it was to get drunk. And it was New Year's Eve, my senior year. And a buddy of mine and our girlfriends, we decided to go out and get drunk. And I drank a bottle of wine. And I remember I threw up that night. And I remember we went over to their apartment. And I was laying on the floor and the whole room was just spinning in a circle. And I loved that feeling. I should have known at the time that that's probably not a healthy way that some people drink. But it was something that I just, I loved it. Right from the very start. And that Boone's Farm, I'll tell you that Boone's Farm apple wine, that really high quality. I'm married to an Italian now, and I know that that's not good wine. But anyway. And again, it was right at senior year. And so it was right before I started college. And I ended up going away to college. And all of a sudden, I had this new freedom that I had never experienced before. And the first night I was on campus up at St. John's, I went to the on-campus bar and found some upperclassmen and they were buying us pictures. And I got drunk the first night. And the second night I sponsored a keg around the football field that got raided by the police. And I was off to the races. And again, initially it was fun. It was, I didn't have many consequences. But I was one of those people that I didn't want to drink to just get that little buzz. I wanted to drink to oblivion. And that's what I did. I started off college as a pre-med major. You can't do calculus at eight o'clock in the morning when you're drunk. I learned it pretty quickly. And I just, again, there was a lot of heavy use. I did a lot of stuff. There was a lot of theft. And that's when drug use started for me as well. I started smoking a lot of pot, started taking some pills to stay awake for exams, in addition to the daily drinking. And really heavy alcohol use started at that point. And the college decided that that one semester was enough for me. So I left. And I went to college down in Iowa. And one of the things I learned is your GPA reset after a semester, if you leave. So, hey, I'm starting over. This is good. Went to another college for a year and did a lot more partying and gotten a little more trouble. And then I decided I needed to try another geographical tour. And I went out to Tempe, Arizona to go to school, which in the 1970s was certainly known as a party school. And that's where the real heavy alcohol abuse started. You know, I was one of those guys that when I walked into a room, I was always attracted by people who loved to party. And I just liked hanging around people with partying. And I was doing that. But I was also, again, I was addicted to getting high, as high as I could, as quickly as I could for as long as I could. And so I was doing everything I could to get high. And it was, you know, like you had said, somebody give me something, I'll take it. And I didn't really care. And I'd take a handful of it and wash it down with alcohol. And I was able to maintain for a period of time. I mean, I was on the dean's list. I got a full free ride my senior year of college from a grant from the government. I got offered to go to grad school and to get it all paid for. I was working full time. I was going to school full time. I ended up getting my master's and my master's degree. And I don't remember either one of them. I was just hammered all the time and doing drugs all the time. I lived with a guy, this was right after Vietnam, when Vietnam was going on when I was in high school. And my roommate that I had in college was a Vietnam vet and had been a heavy drug user. And he got me even more involved in drug use. And we had a lot of consequences that started happening with police starting to raid our places and stuff. And I remember my parents lived in the Sun City. And I went out to visit them on New Year's Eve. And I walked through the house and went and fell in the pool and threw up and just all of these really bad things. I was driving in a scary way. I was driving drunk a lot. And I was wrecking my car a lot. A lot of things, the values started being impacted by drinking and use. I started stealing a lot. I said, dishonesty was there. The relationships just started expiring out of control. You know, the old saying where you instead of using things and loving people, I was loving things and using people. And that was going on in my life. And my parents saw this. And I tried to hide it from them as much as I could. But they saw a lot of this going on. And I ended up deciding I just, again, I finished school and I needed another geographical gear. So I moved back to Minnesota. I moved back to the land of the treatment centers. And one of the first people I met and moved in with was a guy who was a very habitual drug user. And he was a diabetic. So he had a lot of paraphernalia to use. And I lived right off of Lake Street in Portland in a drug house with a couple of drug dealers. And I was one of those guys that I would need to drink a 12-pack just to start going out on the night to start drinking. I mean, it had that effect on me where just the tolerance level had changed so much. I couldn't hold a job. My life was a mess. I was on food stamps and I was selling those. And I couldn't, because I couldn't hold a job, I started dealing drugs. And again, I know it's the singular purpose. And I am definitely an alcoholic. Alcohol was present always through all of this. I remember waking up one night and stood up in bed and there were two guys standing in my room with guns looking for my roommate. And, you know, just scary stuff like that started happening and happening more and more. I was a regular down at the caboose and I'd go down there all the time. And just get hammered. And again, it just, it kept getting worse and worse. And I kept having blackouts. I'd have these whole weekends where there were blackouts and people would come over on Monday and go, boy, what a party you had last night. And I had no idea. I didn't even remember Sunday. I didn't remember anything. And I'd wake up. I remember waking up. It happened both in Arizona and here where I'd wake up on the floor someplace in an apartment and I'd get up and I'd look around and I had no idea who the people were. I had no idea where I was. You walk outside, see if your car's there. Sometimes the car wasn't there and you didn't even know what community you were in. I knew in the back of my mind that wasn't real healthy. I started losing weight. I started having a lot of health problems. I separated my shoulder. I fell down a flight of stairs and broke my tailbone. I was not one of those angry drunks. I was one of those sloppy fall-down kind of drunks. And you can imagine what the relationships were like when you throw up a lot and wet your bed and stuff like that. It kind of narrows the pool of the women that want to date you. And the ones that do, they're kind of an interesting group. And I was really in a mess of a state. And my two brothers worked at St. Mary's Junior College at the time and that was right connected to where the treatment center was at St. Mary's. And one of my brothers called me one day and I didn't recognize my own name. I was in a blackout and I didn't recognize myself on the phone. And another time my parents called and they were seeing all these warning signs. So they went and talked to this Chem Dep counselor. And we all used to get together for lunch. And one day they called me up and said, we're going to lunch. I said, great. And I went into my brother's house and all these people came walking in and I went, great, it's a party. Anyway, it was a three-hour intervention. And all of these people had confronted me in the past, a former girlfriend, a former co-worker, my sister-in-law, both my brothers. And they spent time and they had worked a couple of meetings with this Chem Dep counselor to kind of go over addiction and kind of ways to kind of hopefully convince me that I had a problem and that I needed to do something about it. And finally, after about three hours, I knew I needed to do something to get out of that room. And I said, okay, what do I need to do? And they said, you need to go to treatment. And I said, okay, when? And they said, well, we got your bags packed. And I said, well, not today. And I said, they said, well, this is on a Monday. And they said, when? And they said, Wednesday. And they said, we'll pick you up at eight o'clock Wednesday. And I said, a.m.? Okay. And I just did a binge for the next couple of days. They picked me up and they brought me to a place called Parkview Treatment Center. It's now called Wayside House in St. Louis Park. And this was September 16, 1978. I made an error in judgment when they brought me in there. They said, you know, the more honest you are, the sooner you'll get out of here. And they handed me this sheet and said, write down all the drugs you've abused and how you've abused them. Well, I added some to the list that they didn't even have on the list. And they said, you're going to be long-term inpatient. But I really, it was a life-changing experience. The first couple of days were horrible. I went through some withdrawals. One of my addictions was cocaine. And cocaine addiction is pretty tough in addition to the alcohol withdrawals that I was having. So I went through some difficult withdrawals and then treatment started kicking in. And some of the things they started teaching me, quite honestly, they made a lot of sense. And I feel I learned more there than I did in my 17 years that I had been in college. I think I remember one of the things they talked to me about was this SEMP, spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical. And they said, when you're addicted, that goes, that works in that direction. And recovery works in the opposite direction. That first, you recover physically. And then your head starts to clear mentally. And then emotionally, you start forming relationships. And then eventually, the spiritual part comes to your program. And I hung on to that. And that was important to me. And they told me about building up a tolerance and that normal people, you feel normal and you used to feel a little euphoria. And then maybe you wake up in the morning and you're a little bit in the pain threshold. And then you're a little hungover or whatever. And then you feel normal again. And those of us that use, I would wake up in the morning and I was in pain. And I needed to use to feel normal. And the more I used, I didn't get that high I was getting before. So I was always looking for that bigger, faster, higher high. And that stuff made a sense to me. But I still felt horrible about the things that were going on in my life and what I had done to people. And they told me something that was transformational to me. I felt like a horrible person. I felt like I was doing these horrible things. And I had treated women poorly and my family poorly and my friends poorly. And I just, I was a mess. And they said, you have this horrible disease that makes you do horrible things. And if you work on dealing with that disease, then you'll stop doing those horrible things. And it took it a little off center. It didn't mean I was a horrible person. I still had to have that responsibility and take responsibility for the stuff I had done. And I still had to do my fourth and fifth step and go through the steps. And so it doesn't mean I'm absolved of that, but that I was able to kind of get that little shift off center where I have this disease. It's an incurable disease, but it's a chronic disease and it's going to kill me if I don't do something about it. And it helped a lot to know that. And they said I could learn a new freedom and a new happiness. And the AA folks would come in and do meetings and they talked about the spiritual foundation and they talked about gratitude. And I remember somebody came in and did a talk one time and I was one of the people sitting leaning against the wall. And she said, you cocky ones over there, you're not going to make it. And I, you don't tell somebody with Irish background that they're not going to make it. It was, I decided I was going to prove her wrong. I ended up leaving that treatment center. I ended up in the end, having fun in the treatment center. I realized that there were some pretty neat people in there. And I got to know a lot of those people and they played volleyball and did card games and played chess. And the one thing they had that I couldn't stand, it was real healthy food. And I'm just kind of, you know, after all what I've been doing. So my friends were like having drugs smuggled into treatment. I had my sister smuggle in two quarter pounders with cheese so I could leave them in the apartment. I left Parkview pretty confident though. I moved out of that drug house. I moved in with my, who'd become my fiancee against the advice of my counselor because she and I had been using drugs together, but she had agreed she wasn't going to use. And for the next 18 months, I white knuckled it. They asked me to be a, I went to aftercare and I was a group leader and I went to OAA occasionally. I didn't have a sponsor. I still hung around with some people that were using. I went to bars. And on June 15th, 1980, that engagement ended. And I went out that night and I smoked a couple of joints. I woke up the next morning on June 16th, 1980. And I had another moment of clarity. And I said, I'm done. I don't want to go back to that. And I applied that stuff that they had taught me in treatment. I moved in with some family members who were not drinking. I decided if I needed to, if I was going to stay sober, I'd have to have fun. And I needed to have fun and sobriety. I met a wonderful guy named Dick R who has since passed away. He was an ex-pro football player and an ex-narcotics officer from East St. Louis. And he was one tough guy. And he grabbed me by the face and said, Bobby, we're going to a meeting. And 6-5-3-75, you didn't argue with him. But he had all of these little things he taught me about the first three steps are, I can't, he can't, let him. And he had all of these little things that he talked about. And he said, when you say that serenity prayer, don't just do, you know, you grew up Catholic saying the Hail Mary and all that. Say it and mean it. Say every word of that serenity prayer and mean it. And he said, what do you think of those things? How much of those things in your life do you think you can't control? I said, I'm guessing about 60-70%. And he said, no, it's about 99% of what you encounter in life are those things you cannot control. And it's other people. So put it in perspective, that when you say that serenity prayer, you're letting go that you can't control those other people. And those are the kind of things that started helping me learn to be a good member of AA and to start getting sober and to start feeling that serenity. I went to a meeting one night at 2218 and there was a guy there collecting money for a softball team. And I donated and I said, you need players on the softball team. I ended up joining his team. And at that time, there was a sober softball league. The following year, I started a sober softball team and I was the coach and the pitcher. And for the next 17 years, a group of sober guys and I played softball together every Friday night, double headers. And we ended up starting a sober house together. And we were around together, farting around all the time and just having a blast, laughing until we cried and really having fun and going to meetings and doing a lot of things together. I started working on the higher power part of my life. I started reconnecting with my faith. I was going to meetings four to five days a week. I was reading the big book. I was working the steps. Started having healthy relationships. I took some addiction classes to learn more about recovery and to learn about addiction. And it was just, everything just started falling into place in my life. And then the promises really started to come true for me. One of the things my sponsor told me is you really have to pay attention to the little things that God is placing in my path. And a part of those promises, God will intuitively know how to do things. We will intuitively know how to do things, which really used to baffle us. And that God was doing for me what I could not do for myself. And I met a guy one night when I was speaking at Parkview and his name was Drew E. And I'm sure people in this room know Drew. He's been in this program a long time. And Drew and I became lifelong friends. And one night he and I were going to go out on the town and Drew said we're going over to some lady's house of friends of mine. And I said, Drew, I don't want to do that. He said, come on, let's just go over there and we're going to have dinner and then we can go back out. And we went over there to dinner and I met a woman named Anna Maria, who I've been married now to for 35 years. God was doing for me what I could not do for myself. And it was the first time I had met someone who had not come from an alcoholic family that I was really attracted to. She's a normie. She's one of these people that drinks wine and feels a little buzz and goes, oh, I'm done. I don't get it. And we ended up getting married. I was 35 when I got married and we had our first son when I was 37. And that is the greatest miracle I ever experienced is having a child, holding that son of mine the first time. What a blessing to have in sobriety. And over the next 10 years, we had three more sons. So we've had four sons that we've been incredibly blessed to. I had a challenging job at the time working in Minneapolis schools and I hated it. I mean, there were some real challenges. But I was going on in a worker basketball game one night at it. And they said, there's an opening at your old high school for principals. And I ended up applying and I stayed the next 22 years. And I ended up working with young people and in a place where I could experience my faith and share my faith. And I remember I used to tell them as I used to tell my kids, somebody told me one time that God's gift to you is who you are. Your gift to God is who you become. And I would share that with my students and I'd share that with my kids. And all four of my sons ended up going to that school. I ended up giving them all their diplomas. Ended up going back to school sober. It was so different to go to college sober. I got my principal's license. I loved it so much. I went back and got my doctorate, got my superintendent's license. And life was going along really well. And then things started happening because you know, the thing in AA is we just don't like the ups and downs. We don't mind the ups, it's those downs. And my dad was diagnosed with cancer and he was my hero and more important to me than anybody in life. And when he was dying, he explained to me that he had survived World War II at Guadalcanal because God had plans for him to do things in his life. And he said, I think that's happened to you in your sobriety. You need to take advantage of that gift you've been given to stay alive and to make a difference in the world. And he put that out there as a challenge to me. I ended up losing both of my sponsors, my first two sponsors who passed away. I've outlived them. But I stopped going to meetings for a period of time. And then I had a moment of clarity about 15 years ago and I went to Slip Snag on a Sunday night and it changed my life. I realized I had been kind of in a dry brunk. Anger was coming back and some of the things were coming back. And the promises have come true to me. We just recently had our first granddaughter. I just, I love that. I love it. I just retired. My wife just retired. We're going to start traveling the world. I started volunteering for a children's hospice. I just spent this afternoon volunteering at Methodist Hospital in the ER. I love being able to be around kids and serving other people and being of service in this program. And on June 16th, I just celebrated my 44th year of sobriety. And it's all because of the blessing he has put in. So in closing, I just want to say to the newcomer, we're here for you. There were people that kept those chairs open for us. And I've heard somebody in my group talk about coming all the way in and sitting all the way down. We really are here to help other alcoholics achieve sobriety. And so I'm just going to close with a prayer. I'll do a quick prayer that I do. I went to an AA meeting many years ago when I first sobered up, and someone read this prayer in the meeting. And this is a prayer I try to read quite often. It's what I call my favorite prayer. It's by Thomas Merton. Dear God, I'm not sure where I'm going. I do not see to the road ahead. I cannot be certain where it will end. I do not really know myself. Sometimes I fool myself, pretending to follow your will, yet knowing I am not. But I believe this, that the desire to please you does, in fact, please you. And I hope I have that desire in everything I do. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road, though I may not know it at the time. Therefore, I will trust you always. And when I may seem to be lost, I will never be afraid, because I know you will never leave me to face my troubles alone. Thank you, dear God, for all you've given me, for all you have taken from me, and for all you have left me. Thanks for the opportunity to be at table. Thank you, Bob. We would like to thank both Grace and Bob for sharing their experience, strength, and hope. That's wonderful. Seventh tradition. We will now pass the basket so that we may continue to be self-supporting through our own contributions. While we are doing this, Richard has agreed to read the Twelve Traditions. Hello, everybody. Richard Martzell, Alcoholics. These are the Twelve Traditions. Number one, our common welfare should come first. Personal recovery depends upon AAUnity. Two, for our group's purpose, there is but one ultimate authority, a loving God, as he may express himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants. They do not govern. Three, we must not be influenced by others. Our leaders are but trusted servants. They do not govern. Three, the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. Four, each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or AA as a whole. Five, each group has but one primary purpose, to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers. Six, an AA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the AA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose. Seven, every AA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. Eight, Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers. Nine, AA, as such, ought never be organized, but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible for those they serve. Ten, Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues, hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy. Eleven, our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion. We need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films. And twelve, anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personality. Thank you for being with us this evening, particularly those of you who are new, and we hope to see you next week. If you are new, please ask any one of us about other meetings. In the spirit of service, when the meeting closes, please take the chair you are sitting on and stack it, and stack your chairs with those around you, eight chairs high. This will help our cleaning crew. If you wish to stay and assist with cleaning up after the meeting, you are welcome to. And now would you please join me in closing the meeting with the serenity prayer?