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This is a podcast episode where Jaylene and Jules from the Empowering Women Project discuss the benefits of having a no alcohol era in your life. They share their personal experiences and reasons for taking a break from alcohol. Jules talks about her decision to stop drinking during the beginning of COVID and her journey towards physical and emotional healing. She also mentions the negative effects alcohol had on her life and how quitting helped her become a better version of herself. Jaylene shares her own experience of using alcohol as a coping mechanism and how it affected her mental and emotional well-being. She talks about the positive changes she has noticed since quitting alcohol, including reduced anxiety, increased confidence, and improved relationships. Both women emphasize that their decision to abstain from alcohol is not permanent and that they have the ability to consume it safely when they choose to. They encourage listeners to consider a no alcohol era if they feel that Hello, beautiful humans. This is Jaylene and Jules from the Empowering Women Project and you're listening to the 8DWP podcast. This podcast is for the women who know deep in their soul they are here for more. If you are done with the BS stories and limiting beliefs that are holding you back from your dreams becoming a reality, come jump in the driver's seat and pave the way back home to her. This is a space for you to feel seen, heard, supported and accepted for who you are, who you were and who you're becoming. Celebrating you wherever you are in your journey, sit back, grab a tea or a wine and come empower yourself with us. Jules and Jay, let's grow! Hello and welcome back to the EWP. Hello, beautiful humans. Welcome, welcome. Feels like it's been ages since we recorded. Literally, like, oh, we didn't record last week, did we? Last Monday. No. Yeah. Oh my God. It's going to take us a while to get back into this. No, I'm kidding. We know what to do now. We know what to do. For sure. Today we are talking about the no alcohol era. Yay! I love this. I am currently going through a no alcohol era. So I wanted to jump on here with Jules and just talk about navigating the alcohol era and when you possibly maybe should have a no alcohol era in your life. We don't always have to commit to a lifetime of no alcohol, but sometimes when you're starting to see signs and stuff in your life that alcohol is no longer serving you for right now. Goosebumps why I'm saying this. Confirmation. Yeah. When alcohol is no longer serving your life, like, yeah, it's okay to take a break from it. And yeah, you don't have to commit to a lifetime of no alcohol. Not here to say that. Just here to talk to you about the benefits and yeah, my story, I guess. But also Julia has been through a no alcohol era in her life before. Would you like to talk about that, my honey? I love how you throw it on me straight away, even though this is your episode party idea. But that's okay. I'm going to go first. Yeah, I found mine happened during or at the beginning of COVID. I just found I didn't want to be sitting there using, you know, being home as an excuse to drink. And it was almost like my body knew I was soon going to be pregnant. I don't know. It was really interesting. But I was also really heavily into weightlifting at the time. And so a lot of my time and energy and focus was going into that and eating healthy and fueling my body and, you know, seeing incredible results. And so I kind of felt both a push between that going towards that really like physical health aspect. But then also a big part of me had been realizing that I'd actually been hurting people along the way when I was using alcohol as a means to cope with my trauma that I'd been through. And it was just sort of like a cycle where I would find that, you know, I was constantly apologizing. I was constantly waking up feeling like crap, you know, going back to work on Monday morning, and I was exhausted. And it was like, had that anxiety sort of thing. And by the time, you know, it got to the next week, and I was like, right, we're ready to go. Like, I just couldn't wait to knock off on a Friday. And we would often go for after work drinks on a Friday, with like our little group at work. And I found that that just kick started the weekend, and then we'd go into Saturday, and then everyone would be like, oh, let's go to the club, let's do this, you know, free drinking while you're getting ready. And then, you know, just drinking all weekend long. And, you know, that just wasn't what I wanted to do anymore. And I knew it was really time for me to begin healing. So I kind of made an unconscious decision to like really slow the alcohol down. And I don't think I actually really quit with like, I would still have a drink here and there. But it was impeding my performance as well. So that was really front and core of my mind was prepping for that powerlifting competition. And then COVID hit. And I just, you know, wasn't training as much, obviously, but also didn't want to be sitting there on the couch being like, oh, you know, nothing to do, let's get drunk. And I remember just everybody being on TikTok and like drinking. And, you know, everyone was just, that's how they were using their sort of means to cope through the isolation. And if you were single, you were alone, or if you had a partner, you know, I just find that a lot of people were utilizing that time to just drink, to get through it, to deal with the anxiety and the stress. But then in turn, you're just sort of going through this cycle, like everyone's working from home, so they have the ability to then knock off and then have a drink and, you know, not having to worry about driving to work and all the rest of it. So, and then, you know, then I found out I was pregnant and obviously, completely like no, no alcohol. And I think it was one of the best things that ever happened to me was being able to step into that light and, you know, just harness being a mom and, you know, having a baby in my tummy and just really focusing on that healing. Like I go deep because I was like, I just, when this baby comes out, I want to be a better version of myself in a number of ways. And then it was quite a while after I had helped in that I didn't drink as well, that I continued with that. Obviously, it was breastfeeding, and I know there are safe limits, but I really just, I felt good. I was feeling good. I was feeling, you know, I had more energy as much as you can have as a new mom, but I just knew alcohol wasn't going to be right for me and right for us and right to that equation. And then now, fast forward to now, when I've been on this journey for three and a half years, I can consume alcohol safely. I feel like before I wasn't consuming it safely. And now I'm able to have a few mimosas or have a drink or, you know, and I'll also be like, oh, yeah, no, I actually don't feel like drinking. So I feel like it's been a really beautiful journey of going through that and looking back on how much I was drinking. And now I'll have a mimosa and I'm like, oh, you know, like, you can tell such a big difference in my tolerance before. And I think how scary, how absolutely scary that that could be. And not safe, like so many, I think back and I'm like, wow, there were so many times that were unsafe for you. Like, you're just out there and, you know, traveling and drinking and all the rest of it. And yes, I had some of the best times of my life, but I am really grateful to have had the strength and the courage to pull out of that sort of time period of my life. But yeah, you're in it now, you're in the thick of it now. So tell me about what's happening for you, what you're feeling, how your body's feeling. Yes, I can think back and be like, oh, you know, it felt really good, but you're feeling it right now in this moment. So let me hear it. Go. Let's go. I am feeling incredible. I have a few friends on their alcohol journey with me at the moment. And when we're exchanging voice clips, we're just like, holy shit. Like, for me, like, 90% of my anxiety symptoms are gone. Like I used to get heart palpitations, I was overreacting, like, really overreactive, reactive, especially to the kids and stuff on the days after having alcohol, I literally wouldn't even look people in the eye. And now I'm like, making solid eye contact. I'm like, I love who I am. I got this confidence. Like, I don't know, like mental clarity is like, next level. Like I have, I'm like, I'm much more organized in life. Like, just everything is so much easier and challenges still come up. Like my life is not perfect. I'm a solo mom with three boys. So yeah, like, I'm actually able to be present and kind of work through the things that are coming up for us as a family with more clarity and more intention, I guess. And I have more space for my kids and more time. And it's weird, like, and I've even set more boundaries in life and like, looked at my work schedule and be like, I need to cut back, like weekends are for my babies. Like, I still have to work weekends sometimes. But like, I don't know, just so much more clarity. And I can't even emphasize, or not emphasize, express how like, great I'm feeling. And yeah, it's just, it's amazing to be on this journey. And what kickstarted me was, I was pretty much over my own bullshit. At this point, I was just coming out of a breakup. But during that relationship, I was drinking a lot of alcohol because I was masking, like, I knew I wasn't the right person. And then I just felt like I was drinking more and all the rest of it. And then, yeah, it got to a point where I was like, literally blacking out. Like, I literally couldn't remember most of my nights. And yeah, again, doing things that I regret and, you know, filling voids and all the rest of it. And just doing things that my sober self wouldn't do. And yeah, now I'm actually in a spot where I look at that girl and like, holy shit, like, how did I survive? I actually seen a reel the other day that said, when you become sober for quite some time, if you were to wake up in the morning, feeling as shit as what you do when you're hungover, you'd call an ambulance. Like, that's how bad it was. Like, not getting out of bed. Like, if I was to wake up now sober and not drinking alcohol, and I wake up feeling like that, or if I blacked out and didn't remember, like, most of my night, I'd take myself to hospital. Like, it just got so bad for me that I had to change it. And I know that I want a beautiful life for my kids. And I'm in this deep healing era as well. So I don't want to have alcohol in that, if that makes sense, because I'm quite vulnerable as it is. So if I'm rewiring my subconscious mind and my belief systems and all the rest of it, if I add alcohol in there, it's just going to kind of, I don't know, I just don't feel like I'm committed to that deep healing journey that I'm on. But yeah, like, even today, like, my son has therapy with his family therapist. And just, like, just being present and, like, celebrating his wins and everything like that. I wasn't doing that before. And as shit as that sounds, and if there's someone listening, and you're a mum, and, you know, you feel like you need to cut alcohol out for right now, I literally, like, I'd say to you, please do it. Like, I'm getting emotional because, like, your kids are so worth it. Like, they're so fucking worth it. I feel like I'm going to cry on a podcast episode. I'm crying too. I'm crying because I've actually seen the transformation in you over the past year and a half. And honestly, hearing every day, you'll have these little beautiful realizations of the things that, you know, you're noticing you're more present for, and, you know, you're not spending the day in bed, and you're able to do things with the boys, and you're able to, you know, set boundaries for them, and you're able to be there for them, for their schooling, and all of those types of things. I'm so proud of you. And it's okay to feel all the feels. Let them out. She's bawling her eyes out. Literally, like, yeah, I just, the mum I was before, like, drinking alcohol, like, me and Julia were just having a conversation before we come on here. I won't go into full detail about what we were talking about, but it was pretty raw. But I didn't drink alcohol, really, like, for most of my life up until 24, 25. And, like, I drank alcohol here and there and all the rest of it. But I was just mum. Like, that's what I was. And I always reflect back to that more, like, those times where I was like, my kids were my everything, and they became second to alcohol, or having a good time, and stuff like that. So, yeah, like, 24, 25, I broke up with baby daddy. And I was like, whoa, like, just who the fuck am I? And alcohol and all the rest of it came into it, and partying, and distracting myself, and not feeling the feels. Like, I just wanted to avoid all the uncomfortable feelings. And in turn, like, it disconnected me from my children. And that's one, like, I will never be able to get those years back. But that's, I think, why I'm so deeply committed. I'll just take a moment. Take a breath, take a line. Holding this space. We're all holding this space for you. I think that's why I'm so deeply committed to the no alcohol era. And that's why I just want to scream it off the rooftops to people. Like, because I know there's so many moms out there. I just had a phone call before I got on here talking about exactly this. And I'm like, there is so many moms out here that need to hear this right now. Like, going alcohol free for an era of your life literally can fucking change the whole trajectory of your children's life, your life, the way you're going. Like, the epiphanies I've had in the last, I think I'm at 17 weeks now. I don't know why I'm counting in weeks. It's like having a baby. It's like a rebirth. But yeah, like the epiphanies I've had, they're a little bit slower than other people's when I hear their stories on podcasts and stuff like that. But it's perfect divine timing, like all my epiphanies and like moments where I'm like voice clipping you or some of my other friends as well being like, oh my god, like, it feels like a new life. Like, it's just, it's insane. And I just, if yeah, if alcohol is holding you back or you're waking up any morning going, I don't ever want to drink again, or you know, all those things that we say when we're waking up on a hangover. If you're having any of those thoughts or anything like that, you need to have an alcohol era. Honestly, if it's for a month, if it's two months, six months, don't put any time limit on it. Just go day by day. And what threw me into it was starting a six week challenge at the gym that had no alcohol in there. And that kickstarted me because I was working on my fitness and everything like that. And like, so obviously, changing, going out drinking to a positive thing, which is, you know, physical activity, getting your health back on track. But honestly, like the transformation so that I can stay with my kids just having their frickin mom present right now and in a safe environment where I'm not going out, you know, nightclubbing or, you know, my friends aren't coming over and drinking and everything's just out of whack. Like, you know, we'll order Maccas or pizza when I'm drinking alcohol, or, you know, it's like almost your second to the alcohol is kind of what I was getting at with the kids. Like, it felt like I was putting them second to alcohol and that's fucking not okay. Like, and I'm being so open and vulnerable because I just want women, other women to know that, like, if I've done it and I was a really great mom before, like, I still was a great mom when I was drinking alcohol, but not as good as what I am now. Sorry. Yeah. Reminds me of when I did that really other day and it was like all the past versions of you, you know, it's okay to forgive them. So forgive that version of you right now with me and everyone listening. Let's forgive her. I know you still hold guilt over that and that's so fine, but, you know, you also were navigating a hell of a lot and I know it's not an excuse, but at the same time, you could have continued on that road of destruction and you haven't. You're here today. You're bringing your kids to therapy. You're in therapy. You're showing up for them. You're cooking all these beautiful dinners. Your skin, like your skin is glowing these days because all of these things come out physically as well. So, you know, we start to see these changes and we're like, wow, you know, was it alcohol doing that to my body? So I see all the beautiful things and I know we're our own worst critics and we're so damn hard on ourselves, but we also, you know, go through periods where it's okay to make mistakes and to, you know, have a hot minute, but you have always been an outstanding mom. You know, you are a single mom to three boys and you got them to safety. Like there are so many things to be proud of yourself for. So we're forgiving that version of you today. I do forgive her. And yeah, there is so many versions that you go through as a human. I think I just used to reflect on how beautiful of a mom I was before I just started going down that path. And yeah, you don't realize until you have that aha moment and also having some support. Like if I wasn't really committed to being deep in therapy and having the support of our therapist, like, and I had the support of beautiful friends as well, but it just seems a little bit harder. And I think that's why a lot of people don't stop drinking alcohol is because they don't have that support or people are having their thing of, you know, oh, I just have another one. Stop being blah, blah, blah, or whatever. Like there's been so many times where I've had to reinstall to people. Like this is my new, it's not, I guess it is a new identity. I am not drinking right now. Yeah. Like, and I had to keep repeating it to this certain person. I'm not going to mention the name on the phone. Whoever they know who they are. But I had to keep doing it, like resetting the boundary. Like this is not who I am and this is not what I want to do right now. I understand that was a past version of me, but I'm not drinking alcohol. And this is for me, like I'm doing this for my kids. Like, and if you can't do it for yourself, put it outside of you for just now, but then you'll start realizing, holy fuck, I actually love myself. And oh my God, my body isn't as bad as what I usually am looking in and picking it apart when I'm hung over and all the rest of it. Like my confidence went down significantly every time I drank alcohol. I could go up when I'm drinking alcohol, like confidence was like through the roof. But then it would go down so bad that I would just be in this hole for ages. And then I'd drink again and it would just be this repeating cycle. But now I'm like, I fucking love me. Like I look good, like my skin's glowing, my eyes are getting clearer, like all of that sort of stuff. My body has changed in ways where I haven't even been working out as much. I still do exercise and everything, but my body's changing as well. And it's crazy. You just kind of like fall in love with yourself from a sober point of view, which I don't think a lot of people probably have if they've been drinking alcohol since the age of 14 or whatever it is that we started drinking alcohol or a lot of people. Yeah, a lot of people actually haven't given themselves a break outside of, you know, filling themselves with toxic share and then, you know, actually falling in love with yourself as a sober version of you. So for all my people out there, I highly recommend it. And just one day at a time, don't put a time limit on it. Just to be like, today I'm going alcohol free. And it's like almost the norm, isn't it? Where it's like expected that you drink. It's so strange. Like you make social plans, you go out for lunch, you go out for dinner, you know, and everyone's just like, oh, let's see the drinks menu. And it's just something that you like just happens and everybody just, well, most people just drink and you go to a party, you go to a birthday party, you go anywhere you go now, everyone's drinking, you go to the beach, it's Christmas, it's Easter, let's drink, let's drink, let's drink. So just being able to set some boundaries for yourself, whether it's no alcohol era, or I'm only going to have one or, you know, I, yeah, like just being able to say and look and reflect and think what's good for me in my stage right now, where I'm at, who I am, what I want to cultivate into my life at this present time. And I suppose our big message is if you are going through a healing era, which gosh, I think a lot of us in this generation are, you know, just try it. We encourage you to just give it a go. And we're not here saying you need to. And if you don't, then, you know, you're going to be looked down upon or anything like that. Like, I think our message is just, this is our experience as always. And, you know, give it a go, give it a try. And you know, what do you have to lose really at the end of the day? Literally, if you are not in a space in your life where you feel like you can totally commit to no alcohol, yeah, just limiting it as much as you can. And then eventually, I think when you have the weeks or the days that you're like, holy shit, I have mental clarity and all the rest of it when you're not drinking, you're going to be like, holy fuck, I can go a little bit longer. But yeah, just, I don't know, I'm all for doing a no alcohol era, like full on slapstick now that I've felt the effects of how I felt before coming into now. But yeah, there is totally no judgment for anyone on their journey. However, they do it for them is perfectly right for them. But I think you just know in your soul, like, that if alcohol isn't serving you, like to, yeah, just make some changes, seek a therapist, talk about it. But mine got, yeah, mine got dangerous, like binge drinking. Yeah, and it was like, I remember three bottles of wine, like it was fucked up. I don't know how I still carry through my business. Like, I don't know. Yeah, it's crazy. There's actually a quote that I wrote on Instagram. No one gets sober unless they want to, not if you beg them, not if you shame them, not if you use reason, emotion or tough love. There's only one thing that makes someone get sober, their own realization that they need to do it. So if you have someone in your world right now that is going through an era like I just went through, or whatever it is, like if you think it's affecting them and their mental health and all the rest of it, there's no amount of gaslighting or guilt tripping or anything. Like there were so many people that would say to me, like along my journey, like, you need to stop doing this. And I got it. But sometimes I kind of took it offensive. But you can't do any of that, their own realization. And I think the best thing that you can do for them is just to support them and to love them. And yeah, just, I don't know, drop the, I guess, little plant the seed is what I would call it, just dropping little things here and there along the way. And eventually it will get so uncomfortable for them that they'll want to change or there's no other choice. But it shouldn't really have to get to that point that there's a crisis. Yeah. And one big thing of encouragement is celebrate those friends when they are doing that, like praise them for it. It's huge. If you've relied on alcohol for a long time, it is huge to then quit it or not be drinking or to go through no alcohol era. And as your beautiful friends or your family members have these realizations, celebrate them and really be there for them. I want to celebrate my sister as well because she's given me permission to stay, but she's also on a no alcohol era at the moment. And she went through so much at the beginning of last year. So I just want to send a shout out to her and say, we see you and we're so proud of you and we celebrate you on your no alcohol journey as well. Yeah. And yeah, also back into that, if you're a family member or anything, a hundred percent. And please, please, if you are someone that drinks alcohol and you have someone around you that is not drinking alcohol, please accommodate that. Don't make them feel uncomfortable when they're out and be like, oh, just have a wine, just have this, just don't do it. If they're on their own little journey, you let them be and you celebrate them like you have, but also celebrating a sister as well. It's a huge thing in a society surrounded, literally surrounded by alcohol and they make the drink so pretty. And the, you know, everything looks pretty when you're drinking, but there's so many cool things like mocktails out there. I get lemon lime bitters, apparently that has a smidge of alcohol in it. I didn't realize. But yeah, there's other things that you can drink that are just as refreshing, but I feel like if you're in an environment where it's high vibe anyway, you're going to feel drunk, like just off the energy. So, yeah, there's so many options. There are alcohol options these days that you can, you know, use. Absolutely. And if you really see someone struggling as well, I know it's a hard conversation to have, but it's actually, well, I just had deja vu for some reason. Well, anyway, it's a hard conversation to have, but you need to maybe have just a gentle conversation with somebody that you love and say, hey, you know, I was just wondering how I can support you. I noticed that you're turning to alcohol quite a lot and yeah, you might get some backlash and you might get some, you know, unhappy comments back, but at the end of the day, you know, we care about the people that we love and the people in our inner circle and the people in our family. So, if it's going to help them go on a journey of limiting or, you know, digging deeper or seeing what's happening for them and why they're turning to alcohol, then to me, I think it's all worth it, isn't it? Amen. Amen. Celebrating everybody where they are in their journey, even if they're not on an alcohol era or whatever, just, yeah, acknowledging and celebrating you all. And yeah, we actually have a couple of little book recommendations I want to throw in there as well, of course. Yeah. And Dailene, after that, I want to hear some of your hot tips because you're living in the moment with it now. So, potentially if people are considering this, first of all, I want to know some hot tips on how you can get through the first few weeks, really, the first couple of days even. And I also want to know how you felt, like what the transformation was, like did you feel like crap straight away? So, yeah. Tell all. Tell all. I'll slot in my little book first, Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whittaker, I hope I got her name right, was a really big eye-opener for me. And I think this is why I stayed on the journey for as long as I have. I listened to this quite early on in the no alcohol era, minor alcohol era right now. And it was, it is for women that are quitting alcohol. So, it says the statistics around domestic violence and how much heightened that is and just crazy statistics in there. So, go and listen to that. It gets a little bit political in some points, but if you can just kind of take what you want, leave the rest, I definitely highly recommend that. I was also in Big W yesterday and I seen a book called Beyond Booze and I just looked up the reviews, I actually haven't read it yet, but I wish I freaking brought it. So, I think that's towards women as well, but I think men can read it as well, but the reviews were mostly women. So, I definitely recommend one of those books. I haven't read the other one yet, but maybe we could talk about that on another podcast when I read it. So, I've got heaps of books I'm reading at the moment. And tips for the early stages of no alcohol. I sort of had to isolate myself away from some people that I was drinking a lot of alcohol with, I guess, but they knew I was going on this era and all the rest of it. But in saying that, I did the six-week challenge at the gym, so it kind of wasn't like a no alcohol era for me. It was just, oh yeah, six weeks, I'm gonna get my body back, all the rest of it. So, that probably helped me actually, to be honest. And then it kind of went, oh my fucking God, I feel amazing. So, I kept going from there and it kind of wasn't really a decision decision that I'm going no alcohol era until probably 12 weeks. I'm like, oh my God, I'm starting to feel good. I'm waking up, I'm having slow mornings, but they're productive and that's how I sort of felt. But I felt like I had an ego death in a sense. When I was drinking alcohol, I started looking external for me for validation, I guess, in ways, because I was missing parts of myself. And I was doing that through casual sex and going out and male attention and all the rest of it. But I guess I had that sort of little thing to work through, I guess. And then just not going out and kind of having FOMO and all the rest of it that other people were going out drinking and I wasn't. And people stopped inviting me to certain things because I wasn't drinking alcohol. So, I guess that was kind of hard. It's just the friend group got so significantly small right now, but the quality is amazing. But it let go of all the people that I was just in toxic habits with. So, letting go of even toxic ones hurt. I don't know if other people can resonate, but yeah, that's where I was at with that. But then I guess the feelings that were coming up were like, what the fuck do I do with my time? You just get all this time back. Obviously, there is that era where you're kind of sleeping a little bit more and you can go through like a little bit of depression and anxiety are heightened and all the rest of it. But a lot of people, I think, stop drinking alcohol and I've heard in podcasts as well before the magic starts beginning. And for me, the magic didn't start until around 12 weeks, but definitely like 13, 14 at that sort of that time, that's when the magic started happening. But before that, it was kind of just like waves of emotion and just, I think, realizing how much damage I had done in a sense or how disconnected I had come from myself and my kids and my dream life and my goals and mourning the relationship and how long I stayed in that because alcohol, I think, was the thing that would numb me and distract me and all the rest of it. So, I think there was a bit of processing to do with that. But thank God, I already had therapy in the works before I stopped drinking alcohol. So, that's why I just highly recommend, if you don't really have supportive friends or family or anything around you right now and you're wanting to quit alcohol, definitely get therapy in the works beforehand. So, you have that supportive network. You're going like weekly or fortnightly and you know that you're going to be going to that appointment. So, it kind of gives you like these little stepping stones being like, oh my God. And you can generally, if they have spots and stuff, get an emergency appointment if you're really needing one. But mine was that. I couldn't be going to therapy being like, I want to change my life, but I'm getting fucked up on the weekend and I've been drinking and all the rest of it. So, yeah, it was just great that I had that support and I had a non-judgmental space. And actually, one of my therapists has gone into the alcohol era as well now at the moment, which is amazing. I think she'd be on like 12 weeks now. I haven't seen her in a couple of weeks, but how cool is that? Yeah, it's so good. And it's really cool when you start having that little ripple effect on people and just actually having those conversations with people. And then they're like, oh, maybe I need to do that. And it just, I always say it's planting seeds, like I've said before, because people are like, oh, I can resonate with that feeling or, oh my God, I was feeling like that too. Oh my God, should I try? And then supporting people and celebrating. I get people message all the time on Insta now. I only share a few little things on Instagram, but people know I'm in the no alcohol era and just celebrating them. It's a huge fucking achievement to commit to yourself in whatever way it is. Even if you're committing to going to the gym or feeding your body with more nutritious food or I don't know, anything, or just being a better mom. It's actually something to celebrate, all those little small things that we should be celebrating. Anyway, I just realized I'm digressing, but as I always do. It's all beautifully put though. You just have this way of explaining things and talking about things and anyways. I just go out on my own little journey and I'm just like, this is probably why I couldn't record video, record podcasts, because I'm just like waving my hands around. I don't know, I'm just getting my own little world. But anyway, but yeah, what I was feeling at the start definitely is not anything like now. I'm able to stabilize my emotions, my nervous system's a lot more on point than what it ever was. I'm like, fuck man, is this what safe feels like? Because most of my life was quite chaotic and I know a lot of people can relate to that, that have been through trauma and stuff like that. And then feed alcohol into a dysregulated nervous system is just like fucking chaos or death waiting to happen, really, when you think about it. And especially when you're in the peak of like, I don't give a shit about myself. It is so dangerous. So I am so grateful for having that little epiphany, even though it was a gradual process and it wasn't actually a conscious decision of going, okay, I'm quitting alcohol. It was, I want to, you know, get into this gym, six week challenge or whatever. And then, yeah, going from there and it just kept leading on. So, and here we are. Yay, celebrating you. We also just want to preface that, you know, don't compare yourself to our journeys. Don't compare yourself to anybody's journeys. Definitely don't compare yourself to anyone's journeys on social media because each journey is so unique. And yeah, once again, we just share what's working or has worked for us. And, you know, we celebrate all of you wherever you are in your own personal journey, but we hope that some of this information has helped you. Amen. I've got another little hot quote here. I almost forgot to say, it reads, one thing I've learned, life is a paradox. In order to heal, you must hurt. In order to love, you must break open. And in order to have peace, you must face chaos. Never regret any experience in your life because it is always meant to bring you balance. The light will always follow. Cool. That is literally beautiful and so true. Honestly, so true. Amen. You don't know what peace is, really. Let's dig into it a little bit deeper. But if I didn't have the chaotic life, and as for you, babe, in some aspects of our life, when you get to that point of having peace, you're like, holy fuck, this is peace. Yeah, it's really crazy, isn't it? How often do we say is this what normal people feel like? Also, what is normal? Do you know what I mean? And safe. That's in a lot of people's world, they just feel safe. There was an instance when I was camping with my ex-boyfriend, and I had all this safety stuff in place, like if something bad happened. Literally, I had a knife under my thing. But we were staying in a pretty treacherous area, camping, so I can see why I felt a little bit unsafe. But I usually padlock my swag, and all of that extra stuff we go through, and I had a safety plan. I'm like, okay, if anything happens, blah, blah, blah, we leave all that shit, we get the fuck in the car, and we're leaving. I have kids, I need to survive, blah, blah. Anyway, he was actually laughing in a sense. He was like, Darlene, 95% of the world is really safe. And I'm like, are you fucking serious? Because in my world, 99% of it isn't safe. But his perspective, I remember going to a therapy session after that camp, and I'm like, is this normal? Normal people think the world is safe? And she's like, yeah, hon, you just had to create these coping mechanisms in order to get through life. It was like a mind-drop moment, and that's when we refer to being safe and stuff. We actually haven't really felt safe in our life until now, which might blow some people's minds. But yeah, it's a crazy feeling, but we appreciate that now. Hey, we're just like, well, we feel safe. It's a different feeling, hey? Yeah, it's so surreal. There were times where I would literally get on the tram, going back a few years, where I would literally get on the tram, and there would be 10 men on that tram. But I knew as soon as I got on, counted how many men are on this train. And no offense to men, but that's just where a lot of my trauma has come from in my past, in my childhood, et cetera. But I would actually pinpoint how many men are on this tram, paying attention to what they were doing, sussing them out, looking at their mannerisms, looking at their behaviors, planning an exit if I had to get off of the tram. These are the things that somebody who spends most of their life feeling unsafe go through and feel. You're constantly in a hyperfixated state, watching your surroundings, looking behind you, you know, if you're out walking, watching anyone walking towards you. And now it's a lot calmer in my world. I still have moments, absolutely, especially living alone. I still have moments, as we probably all do as women. But it's crazy. It is such a surreal feeling to actually be like, whoa, this is like, my mind is quiet. Wow, I'm calm. Wow, I realize I haven't actually been hypervigilant about my surroundings for a few weeks. So yeah, all of these beautiful things come with this journey of healing and all of these realizations. And it is just miraculous. But I was actually reading this statistic, and it was crazy. So pre-COVID, there was 2,138,000 Australians that were ready to drink pre-pandemic. That's an insane amount. But now it's almost doubled, and it's up to 4,208,000. And that's from a Roy Morgan study, which is a massive increase since the pandemic of over 2 million people. Oh, yeah, mental health, all of that would have went up significantly. Hey, it's insane. When you isolate people, humans are wired for connection. So when you're isolating people away from their families and their support systems, people find coping mechanisms. It's just crazy. Yeah, there's 67.6% of Australians, all of Australia, and this is including all alcohol, so wine, beer, spirits, ready-to-drink drinks, cider, liqueurs, everything. 67.6% of Australians, 18 plus, consume alcohol in an average four-week period. That's crazy. Oh, goosebumps, honestly. We need to change that. Definitely. Changing the relationship, I guess, around alcohol, but I guess it is like a depressant. Yeah, the depressant, hey, like it is, it's just, it fills something, it numbs something out sometimes when you're using it in the wrong headspace, I guess, like, especially during things like COVID and the pandemic and stuff like that. Isolating people away from each other and, you know, not being able to go to work. Like, what else do you fucking do when you're locked up in your house? Like, drink alcohol, game, watch porn, all the rest of it. That's what would have happened to her. Was there anything else that you have come forward about this topic? Because this is something that was really, really coming forward from your heart, and we've been planning it for a little while, so I'm really grateful that we had the time and space to do this episode today, because I know just how much it means to you to be able to share your journey with the listeners. Yeah, just pretty much, like, I think I've already said it, but yeah, if you're waking up from those hangovers and you're just like, I don't want to drink anymore, like, I have X, Y, Z as my dreams, and like, if I could swap the time, oh, sorry, microphone, if I could swap the time that I'm drinking alcohol, because literally, as soon as you open that wine bottle or that beer or whatever it is, or pour that gin, whatever it is for you, the rest of your night's gone, and also the productivity of the next morning is gone, and for me, I went for, like, days on end, and then I'd start drinking alcohol again, but I have these big audacious dreams and this life I want for my children, and yeah, like, if you're able to swap the time that you're drinking for an era and put that into your dream life and heal and all the rest of it, like, your life is going to change exponentially in, you know, a very short amount of time. I have a friend, Jimmy, that's also on the no alcohol era, and his life has changed, like, crazy in 40 days, like, insane, like, he's investing now, he's budgeting, he is, like, traveling, like, oh my god, it's just crazy, but he went through similar things of, you know, numbing yourself and all the rest of it, but yeah, it's insane, like, just seeing how much progress you can make in a short amount of time when you remove alcohol. I love seeing his posts as well, I love seeing, because before it used to be, like, a lot of on the yachts and on the beach and drinking and stuff, and now it's totally different, it's like, you know, he was always ripped, in my opinion, but he's ripped, and he's sharing all of these beautiful quotes that just resonate really well, and, you know, all of these breath work meditations and stuff like that, like, we're just so here for celebrating every single one of you, so go James, I know you as James, but yeah. Yeah, I don't know why I called him Jimmy, actually, just then, I call him James generally as well, he has two names, guys, but yeah, but yeah, like, whatever change you are wanting to make in your life, even if it's not no alcohol, you can apply this to everything, I guess, it's just making that decision, just going day by day, don't think of, I'm going, you know, alcohol free for the rest of my life, or doing this for the rest of my life, just do it day by day, and just start energetically feeling into your body and just seeing how you feel. There has been moments on my journey where I'm like, fuck man, I just want some alcohol, but when you push through that, and you go to sleep, because generally it's at night where I'll crave alcohol, like, the end of the day and whatever I used to crave, or sometimes crave now, but, like, as soon as you go to bed and wake up in the morning, like, thank fuck I didn't go to the bottle shop, like, yeah, so. Yeah, that's pretty much all I have to add, my honeys, but we're celebrating all of you guys, no matter where you are on your journey, and thank you for tuning in. Bye, see you next time. Bye, honeys. We hope you feel inspired to take back your power. Thank you for listening into the EWP party with Jules and Bey. We want to challenge you to share this party with someone you love. Let's get all women involved. Follow us on Insta at empoweringwomen underscore project. Facebook and TikTok at empoweringwomenproject. We invite you to interact with us on our socials, our threads, and in our DMs. We are open to collaborating and invite you to reach out if you feel inspired to be a guest on our EWP podcast. Remember, you are the creator of your reality. We encourage you to start believing in yourself and the magic of the universe.
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