self care

1, 2, 1, 2, bring it on. Excellent. Let's press record, you little sucker, and get going. Are we on? Boom. Ugh, where's my water? I'm gone. Something's great, but you're so risky. Taking my heart, oh dear. Oh my God, it's a danger. ... Grab, kick with your toes. I'm gonna sneeze it like a motherfucker in this, I just know it. A-hoo! A-hoo! Oh no, that just nearly killed me. Oh my God. Breathe. And breathe. A-hoo! Fuck me. Right. Oh my lordy, lordy, lord. I can't focus. Hiya! Welcome back to Nailed It, how are we? Hope everybody's doing well. I don't know if anyone's sick of me opening my podcast like that yet, but... Welcome back, guys, welcome back. I kind of look a little bit homeless right now, I can't lie. Apologies in advance. I'm all natural. I'm bearing it, because why the fuck not? You've all seen me on my Instagram with no makeup on, so... So today is a busy-ass week. We're uploading, and we're just going barefaced. I've got a few freckles coming through, but I'm natural. The sun was very kind to my skin last week, so, yeah. I love it. Well, anyway, guys, welcome back. I hope everyone is doing well. I hope you've all enjoyed the last few episodes. I feel like I've not actually sat down and spoken to the camera in ages. Because of pre-recording, like, it's far in advance I've been editing and chopping up. I've been on holiday. So it's really nice to sit back down and have a catch-up with... No-one responding right this second. But you get the gist, you get the gist. But, yeah, welcome back. It's been a hot minute. How many times do I have to say welcome back? I have been... I've been a busy bee. I've been a busy bee. So this time, I might as well give you a life update. I think the last time I actually sat down like this, one-to-one, sister-to-brother-or-sister, we... I was about to take the fella on a surprise trip for his birthday, which I did. I pulled it off successfully. We went to Barcelona and it was stunning. Beautiful. 10 out of 10. A great time. I've also been to Dublin. Got absolutely wrecked by my friends in Dublin. That was phenomenal. Can't lie to you. Great times all round. Highly recommend. Everyone is doing it nowadays. There's a book in the cheap flight and you get in over there. Just do it. Just get it done. We went with my best friend and her boyfriend. It was awesome. It was just amazing. You know one of them days when we got to the airport, we all went. It's dead weird because you're like, you're back and that's it. You don't even really need your passport, I don't think. Is it Dublin you don't need your passport for? I can't remember. It definitely took mine. I know one part of Ireland you don't need your passport for. Anyway. Obviously it's a very quick flight and they fly out of Manchester like every hour. I'm staying with Liverpool. So we jump on this flight at like 8 in the morning. We landed at 9. We had some breakfast. Me and George were looking pretty nice. Give it to us. The lads obviously just effortless. But we just dolled up for the occasion. We rode to the challenge. We went on the Guinness tour. Great time. It's like Eureka but for adults with alcohol. Great vibes all around. Who knew you could see the word yeast so many times in one day. That's all I take away from it. Great time. That was brilliant. And then we just went and drinking all day. It is purely drinking. Do not go to Dublin if you are teetotal or you don't want to get bedded for a day. Because that is what it is. That is its sole premise. I'm sure there are areas of it that have got natural beauty. But the prime purpose of going to Dublin is to get pissed and have a boosty. That's exactly what we did. We had a ball. Newsflash. The single measures in Dublin are bigger than the single measures in England. So like we went to the bar and got like a gin and lemonade or a vodka and lemonade. And it was like, I'm sure it's either 35 or 37 and a half ml. But it's definitely more than the UK. So when it came back, I was like, oh, what is that? It's their version of single measures. But no wonder everything is more expensive and gets you super drunk. But good time all round. And then, of course, with beautiful Beth, you had a two-parter with myself and Beth. I've had so much response on that, which has been fab. Obviously, it's a different topic. It's new. It's controversial is not the word I would say. But it definitely, you know, it raises questions sort of across the board. Some people have had direct experience and they, you know, would say, oh, my experience has been different. Obviously, we're only talking about Beth's experience and Beth's encounter from her side and her perspective. And what she believes that Islam and being a Muslim is meant to be. That doesn't take away from any other positive or better experiences than anyone else's. Not positive experiences, but it's just Beth's version of the story. Do you know what I'm saying? It's called Nailed It. Not everyone's nailed it. That was becoming a Muslim with Beth Mills. Not with Beth Mills and everybody else. You can't suggest. But anyway, I've bloody loved the content. I've been so here for it. This week is the importance of self-care. That's what this week is about to me. It's a topic. Self-care is something that I professed to be good at for years. And I actually think I've only recently understood what self-care actually looks like and means to me. And actually started adapting more things surrounding self-care. Now, basically, the long and short of where this topic came from, I think I always wanted to talk about self-care in some degree. But if anything, I found it quite hypocritical. Because for someone who talks about, you know, putting yourself first and loving yourself and making decisions for you, self-care hasn't actually been something that I've invested in as much as I should do. And earlier this year, I'd say about two months ago, around March, I think I just recorded with Pip. If that gives you any timeline. I'm on DCAST. Who knew I would end up getting into DCAST? Nowhere near as good as the real shit, but we'll take it. But anyway. Around about March, I have a little bit of a mensy bee. And all jokes aside, and I like to make jokes of everything. We all know this. I joke about being an orphan. I joke about everything, okay? But the fact of the matter is, I genuinely felt like I was having some kind of emotional breakdown. And I was trying to quantify why that was happening, because everything was going amazing. The podcast was flying. Work was flying. You know, everything. Relationship hub. You know when you look back and you're like, oh my God, all my boxes are ticked. What the hell? I don't know where to place myself because everything's perfect. And I think it was the fact that I'd got everything so well. It's one of those, everything in your life can't be 100% all of the time. And it takes a lot to get things to a certain place and to maintain it. Do you know what I mean? And I set myself a lot of goals at the beginning of the year, but I didn't realise how much I was pushing myself to achieve them. And thus it comes. I'm speaking like I'm Bridgerton, which I absolutely love. I must make haste. By the way, I've still not seen the new season of Bridgerton, so no spoilers. I'm hoping this Sunday, after my dance competition, I can come home and rot in bed watching Bridgerton. That is the goal. But anyway, I digress. I did have a little bit of a breakdown. The woman who knows me better than anyone, Miss Annabelle Harwood, who you all saw on Dating 101, the goddamned gal. If you don't know, get to know. I don't know which episode number it was, but go back and find her. It's two parts, and it's glorious. Riddled with ADHD. You'll love it. It's riddled with accents too. But she came round to the house and she very much could sense there was something wrong with me, and I was kind of suppressing it, I would say. Because on paper, I kind of felt like, what am I complaining about? Like, what is actually wrong? But what I was doing and how I was living my life was having a bit of a negative effect on me overall in the long run. Like, I was exhausted, was the main one. I was mentally, emotionally, physically just, like, shut up. I set myself a lot of goals with work this year, and at that point, I was really, really smashing them. Still am, by the way. I've just come back from another holiday, and I'm still smashing my work goals, which is a big tick. But I tend to... I am the type of person who, when I get invested in something, I'm invested. The whole puffy is in it, do you know what I mean? Like, mentally, emotionally, like, I don't do things in halves, whether that is, you know, my life, planning a birthday because of this, you know, work, my relationships. Like, I put a lot into them, do you know what I mean? But I got to a point where I was putting a lot into everything, and I could just feel it pulling from me in every which way. Like, physically, I just didn't feel present at all. And my partner actually mentioned it to me as well, like, I've never seen you. We live together, but I've never seen you. And I thought, nah, so be that. And then it dawned on me that that was actually the case. And we've always joked about how busy our lives are, et cetera, et cetera. But then, so that to, like, almost come from him, I was like, maybe that is actually an issue because you're a busy boy as well. So, yeah. But I did, I kind of just let it all come out of me. And you know what? I'm all for, by the way, for me to cry cry. I'm just not a big crier. She says I have cried about a golden retriever this week, but that's by the by. I'm not a sad crier. I'm more like, I cry like when I'm happy, which sounds really, really bizarre. But like, yeah, I'm not, I'm not a big crier. So I was kind of sat on the couch, almost crying. We had Taylor Swift on in the background. It was a whole thing. It was a big vibe. I had the ear of the storm, a blaze, which was stunning, to be fair, a great ambiance. Great place to cry if one needs to cry. We just had a Chinese. But yeah, I did let rip. I let it all out. And it felt like the biggest relief to actually admit that I was struggling. And not in a sense of like, I'm struggling, I've got bad mental health. You know, I did feel like I was at the end of the degree. I've been there before. I know what that feels like. This was more like, I'm struggling, but I feel like I can do something about it. Normally, I would never admit I'm struggling in those situations. Normally, I'd take it on the chin and crack on and still carry on going and going and going. I've noticed, especially in the type of job that I'm in, you don't want to burn out. If you burn out, you become so mentally drained and exhausted that you can't check back in. And I actually like my job, so I want to be able to check in. I also want to be able to check out, but I want to be able to check in. I don't want to get beyond the point of no return. That's where I could feel myself going. So, don't get me wrong. The results were speaking for themselves. I was doing amazing in my sales. I was doing things I hadn't done before. I was putting myself out there for presentations. I was volunteering for loads of stuff. And I could feel all this traction underway. I was so busy. I was out all the time, like on visits. But it does catch up with you. You can't be running like that all the time, as well as doing everything else in your life. And it kind of all just reared its ugly head at once, so to speak. So, it kind of then made me sit back and evaluate in terms of what had to give and what was troubling me, so to speak. So, really, put it this way. Annabelle was leaving to go home at quarter to ten, and she only actually left at half one in the morning. Because we ironed it out. We put my well-to-do ranks even to that kilter. And we basically determined that I really had to make some changes. Now, so many of my positives were contributing to what kind of were my negatives. So, I was trying to iron out that balance, as well. So, I really wanted to talk about today, sort of, the changes I've made that I've had to make to protect my peace. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Which probably won't seem like big changes, but for me, they were massive. And they've now evened out my kilter, like I just said. And I also wanted to reach out and find out from you guys what your ideas of self-care are. We have a lot of the similar ones, which I absolutely love. Big slay. And, yeah. And then we're going to roll into the new section this week that is going to be starting to go on. Things that have pissed us off this week. Because I just thought, everyone loves a good moan. And I would like to dissect said moan. And, you know, my topics are often feminine or might not be relatable to everyone. But you're not telling me that everyone doesn't get pissed off at least once a week. And I wanted to tap into that energy. So, that's what we're going to do. So, straight into it. Let's have it, guys. Like I said, we're in the Ven TV. Picture the scene. It's this couch. I'm in this corner. Annabelle is over here. I'm in my red tracksuit. It's an ensemble. Looking very Sue Sylvester. Not feeling very Sue Sylvester. Feeling a little bit more Will Schuster. But, anyway. If you're a gleek, stand up. Anyway, I... Why am I giggling at myself? I'm 25 years old, for goodness sake. Anyway, I digress. So, I kind of... Not necessarily prone and convent, but I mapped out what I've been doing and how that could be contributing to my stress. Sounds very, very basic, but sometimes... Please stay out loud. For the last three weeks, I've been on, you know, 14 customer visits, two sites. I've travelled 2,500 miles in the car. Then I've been to the gym four days a week for the last three weeks. Then I've seen that person, that person, that person. When you actually start to break it down, what you think on the day-to-day isn't that much. You tell someone else and they're looking at you like you've got four ends. You start to realise then, like, I'm doing a fair bit. And I was trying to think of the things where... Am I filling someone else's cup up here, or are they filling mine? Is this activity benefiting me? Which sounds like an incredibly selfish way to look at things. That being said, I have never in my life looked at things like that. If one of my friends came to me and said, I'm stressed, da-da-da. I'd be like, girl, it doesn't serve you, sling it. Clearly don't take that approach with myself. Well, I'm not anymore. If I can't fit it in realistically with spare time at the end of the night, it's not happening. Particularly midweek. My biggest thing was, I would be going, I'd be finishing work, whether I was out and about or working from home. Then it'd be like, right, I'll go to the gym, then I'll go and take such about it. I try and do ten things in an evening. Like, I'll go there, and then I'll go there, and I'll do this, and I'll do that. And I'd be like, okay, I wonder I can't sleep. You know when I'm tired, I'm just constantly burning myself to the core. So that was a big thing. Like I said, I decided what was bringing me added stress. What am I doing that I could stop doing that would alleviate some of this nonsense? And that was a big one for me, was trying to make my midweek a little bit more about myself and less about other people. So I also kind of think, like, I love my friends. Everyone knows, if you've listened to this podcast, that I love them more than anything. And I will always prioritise them. But again, is it really worth me running myself ragged to see people every night after work for a cup of tea? No, it isn't. I'll just put it out there. No, for me anymore, it isn't. Don't get me wrong, I would love to see my friends all the time. But all of my friends, bar one, live 20 minutes minimum drive away from me. And they're not all driving to me. And that's not a criticism of them, by the way, ever, ever, ever is. All my friendships are even split. There's never even a question in my mind that I make more effort than any of my friends. They all make just as much effort with me as I do them. And it's stunning. But I really was putting myself continuously in situations where it was like, you know, I'm out till 10, 11 o'clock at night on a weeknight, which sounds like I'm being soft, but Gal's got to sleep, how am I going to get up in the morning and function and go and do 8, 9, 10 hours at work and then go to the gym on top of everything else? It's just not going to happen. So, yeah, I didn't realise how much I got into that cycle until now I step back and look at it and go, fucking hell, I can't believe I used to live like that. So I really, really cut back on that. My relationship hasn't changed. They're no weaker. We all have phones. Find me someone who doesn't live through the phone in the 21st century of our generation. If I want any of my friends, I can text them, I can ring them. And we make realistic plans to see each other. And none of my friendships have died. Do you know what I mean? Like, we've all just got a grip and chilled out. Me, I got a grip and chilled out. Everyone else was fine. So that was definitely a big thing. I also, the biggest change that happened in my life in the last 6 to 12 months was obviously moving house and going from having a bedroom and an office to tidy to maintaining the whole household. And I fully did not appreciate how big of a task that was. Now, that's kind of like a little bit of a two-part for me in the sense of, I know I've, I've had ten fucking rooms. But I've got a house, I've got three beds, seven, right? Cleaning a house now. Looking after a house. And that's not just hoovering, is it? Because like, you get dust everywhere. You get dirt all over the place. You get dirt in places there's no dirt existed. Like, people walk into your house with wet shoes or white clothes even though you've already wiped the floors. Do you know what I mean? Like, it is a full-time job. I can 100% say. You know when you see pictures of like your mum or someone else's mum. Or they get a picture of them out from like the 70s and 80s and they're like, oh, I used to be slim. I used to be this. And then, and then I met you dad and it all went so. I can fucking see why though. Because you moon out and you're a slave to the gas. And all you want to do when you sit down at 8 o'clock at night is crack open a fucking Galaxy Ripple and a bottle of red wine. I can 100% get on board with that after trying to run a household. And don't get me wrong. I've made that zone way more dramatic than I intend it to be. You can keep on top of the house. Nevertheless, it is a job. It is a job. It's a job that I now have to fit in that I didn't have to fit in before. So mum, if you ever listen to this, you're already the queen of my heart. Ten times more sympathetic, although it's, you know, queen. Like, slay you. So that has been the biggest thing for me. That, and also adapting your routine to your new life. It's a big life change. I didn't think moving out would be such a big deal. It's a big fucking deal. Everything has changed. Like, you've got responsibilities. If you put a wash on, you have to be able to peg it out. That's at least 40 minutes of your life, of your day. I could have spent them 40 minutes in the gym. Do you know what I mean? So I really tried to work my jobs into my life, and vice versa, and tried to make that work. So now, if I'm working from home, I'll get up and put a wash on. And then I'll have a break and peg my washing out, because it's that five minute type of thing. All sounds like a very easy fix. It's took me, we've lived here now for nearly nine months, it's took me all that time to sort it out. Do you know what I mean? So that was definitely one of the biggest contributions to my stress. Sorry, by the way, I'm like cradling my feet. I have no socks on. I don't want you to look at my tootsies. That was definitely one of the biggest things. The other thing that kind of dropped off from that was that when I lived at home, my gym was 10 minutes away. All right, now it's 15, still. My gym was 10 minutes away. I had my dogs at home. I could get up every morning, and I would make myself go and walk the dogs and things like that. So I've gained a bit of weight, and it's made me feel like shit. I'm not going to lie to you. Now, some people watching will say, I can't tell. You're being silly. I can tell. That's all that matters. It's my body, not yours. Things like that, like having all the things that occupy your time. It keeps tiring. If you do a full shift cleaning the house and go to a food shop and go and make all your dinners for the week, I am tired after that. I can admit it. I'm a sleepy babba. Do I then want to go less ironing at the gym? Not really. As much as I want to be a big, batty girl for the rest of my life, I don't want to be snapping out RDLs. I want to sit here and watch that. That is my telly for those who obviously have never been in my living room. So yeah, definitely understanding my routine and trying to adapt it so that I can still do the things I enjoy and want to do, but also not be burnt out and also have a nice house 95% of the time. Because me and my partner have quite busy lives anyway, and we didn't want to give that up, but we also knew that we'd have to make some compromises somewhere, and it surprised me that he was better at that than me because I preached that it would be me. So yeah, there's definitely that side of things. And as well, if one of you is not pulling your weight more than the other, or if one of you is pulling your weight more than the other, you're going to nag each other and you're going to get on each other's tits. And I've enjoyed living with my partner so much that to even get into a naggy situation, it's just not cute. It's not what you want, ever. So yeah, definitely trying to incorporate home life and how that's now adjusted. It isn't the same. So anyone who's not moved out, I've had so many of my friends say to me, like, oh, I love that you live together. It's made me want to do this, made me want to do that. And this was me, when I watched some of my friends, like Georgia, I told you about before, she moved out quite a bit before me. And I was always like, why is that not me? I wish that was me, blah, blah, blah. And I'd speak with my other friends. Now that I'm in it, it is the best thing that has ever happened, and I've never been happier. I've never been happier. I've never been more content and settled and live off loving. Sliving, as we would like to say, is getting junked. That is genuine cunt if no one has seen the TikTok. We'll link it this week. So anyway. But it comes with stress. It really does. Even if it's not big world stress, it comes with its own additional baggage of living together. Yeah, you might cut out transporting to each other's house. Yeah, you might cut out living out of a bag over a weekend. You incur so much money. I would have so much money if I lived with my mum. But obviously, naturally, you grow up. You want to be right. You want your own space. For me, having my own space is worth every penny. Being with my partner every night, you cannot put a price on that. And once you get to that mindset, you'll pay anything to not be at home. That being said, do not take it for granted, because you will come across a job one day that you've never done at your gasp in your life. Even if you've had an house party when your mum and dad have gone away and you think you've cleaned the house and then your mum susses you out because you didn't do something timely that you didn't think someone would still be there. We've all been there. You'll come across that one job that your mum or dad was always on top of. And you'll go, I've never fucking done that. They're the jobs. They're the ones that make you think. Yeah. That's when life was good. That's when life was simpler. So yeah, 100% do not rush, guys. And think of the pros and the cons on both sides. We did not rush. We had a lot of preparation. We were the opposite of rushing. That being said, it does come with its own additional baggage. They're not problems. They're not problems at all. It's just what it is. Or we just didn't prepare for it. On that note, I used to exercise every single day. I didn't realise how much I made the gym. I don't know why I'm traipsing this around like I'm Harry Styles, but it kind of matches me top. It's funny. Anyway, anywho. Yeah, I didn't realise how much I made the gym my personality. Again, a lot of my friends will be like, really? You didn't? Well, I did. I know. Hey-ho. Again, I've become more fatigued and a little bit lazier. Like, I find getting out of bed so much harder. I don't know why. It just do. So, one of the changes I've made is to prioritise my exercise but also be realistic. Now, some of that is motivation. Sometimes I just need to kick myself up the physical ass and get out of bed, put my trainer on and go for a walk. Go for a walk in the morning before you do anything. Instantly have a better day. I've never had a bad day when I've started off like that. Genuine swerve to whoever's got ears. I just haven't. Right, it's been 10 out of 10. Go with it. 20 minutes. What is 20 minutes? And this is what I say to myself when I can't get out of bed. Please get up. Get up now. Go! And then I drink it and I feel amazing. Now, don't get me wrong. I will say the British weather because right now it's absolutely shitting it down with rain outside. It's been a lovely week prior to this. But the majority of this year has been rain. Rain and misery. And it's not been walking weather. I mean, I contemplate getting an indoor treadmill because I don't like the stepper. The stepper bugs me. I hate it. It just proves how unfit I am. Even though I thought I was very physically sick the night I had. But yeah, I was setting myself... I was trying to maintain my same exercise routine as per previous and I couldn't. I'm going to say it. Let's go! I think we're good. Yeah, no, yeah. We're good. Sorry, my hair's looking terrible today. So yeah, I've decided to set myself a much more realistic routine and that might mean me dropping some of my calories because I've always been a big eater. And because I've been a big eater, I've been a big exerciser. And because I'm trying to exercise... Of course, I want to be back into life. That's just what it is. But I've never really been, you know, determined to have abs by this day and determined to have bits by that day. I just want to... I want to feel good in my body and I want to eat what I want. That's literally it. When I'm exercising and I work to myself in the gym with my headphones on listening to Taylor Swift. This is my version of Red Wine and the Galaxy Ripple. Which sounds so sad to the Galaxy Ripple, Red Wine mothers. But it just is. I love it. Like, I don't go to the gym with people very, very rarely. I've done it occasionally because it's my space, it's my time for me. I love it. Don't talk to me. Unless your name is Livia Ashworth because she goes to my gym or Olivia Land. Don't ask me. I just want to be me. I just want to do me in the gym on my own. Anyway. So, yeah. I've definitely... I've altered my exercise routine. I feel better because I feel like I'm being more present with it. And, as well, for anyone listening, especially anyone who's getting into the gym new, you do not need to go to the gym every day. Do not do it. You will fall out of love with it. You will burn out. That is what I did. You will get to the point where you lift weights every single day and then you'll get to a point like now where you cannot be asked. Be realistic. Have two rest days a week at least. And just enjoy the process. Alright? Because it is a process. Like, I was speaking to an amazing girl who I follow, followed up the years. She's called Kerry Harris. I've always admired her. She's absolutely beautiful and she's literally... She's from... Where are you? She's from Charlie. Moved to Dubai. And she's got, like, when you think of your dream body, face, life, hers. But that comes with its own work. And it's her job. Her job is to look... It's a beat. Like, she's... Like, she's a PT. She's, like, fitness instructor and she's stunning. On the inside, which Kerry's obviously on the outside as well. She's been doing it for seven, eight years and it's like, that's where you get to a sustainable place. Like, when you see all these 12-week drastic programs, just don't get me wrong, they work for that instant gratification. And then you drop off again. So I'll just say, if you were listening to this and you were into fitness or you were feeling in a bit of a lump, revisit it. Revisit the parts of fitness that you enjoy and find your sweet spot with it. And don't beat yourself up for the one day you don't go to the gym. I was going to go before, but you know what, everything's said. I've got my nails done. No, I've got gorgeous nails. And I'll go to the gym tomorrow and guess what? I won't turn into a fat bastard overnight. Because I didn't go to the gym once. Like, it'll be fine. So yeah, definitely done that. I've just been a bit kinder to myself upstairs. Recording in advance. The podcast, as much as I love it, was becoming a bit of a pain in my ass. And I didn't want to stop doing it the long and short of it. I mean, that's doing my equipment. I love it. And it's something I want to keep doing until I literally run out of things to say, which hopefully is never. I would be surprised if I ran out of things to say. But, you know, you never know. Don't want to speak ill of the future or jinx oneself. So I started recording more in advance. And this episode is not in advance, but my next few will be. And again, I don't have a team of editors. I don't have 400 followers, for Christ's sake. Like, I ain't got the money, Darren. I'll just do this for the crack. But I want to keep doing it because I enjoy it. But I also ain't going to be doing something that's going to burden my life all the time. So that's when things started doing, which, again, noticed that it just, when I record in advance and I put myself ahead, any time I do something that puts me ahead of time, you always feel better. Always. Another thing I did, oh, my God, this was amazing. I need to put it in the photo dump. I had a wardrobe clear out. Do you want monocle? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Do you want a dress? Seven bags to the charity shop. Full bags. Seven full bags. That is a lot of stuff and I've got a lot of stuff left that I actually wear. Oh my God, she changed my life. Like, now when I look in my wardrobe, I can see everything that I want to wear and pick on my outfit and it's just so much better and cleaner and fresher. The rule was, if you want to go to your ex's house to pick it up, bin it. Now, I thought it was a splendid rule. Hence the seven bags. That tells you everything you need to know about my past. Yeah, honest to God, made the biggest, biggest difference. It sounds silly but everything in my life was cluttered on the low and I didn't realise it and it just made me completely flush everything out. And I didn't do it all overnight. Do you know what I mean? I didn't do this whole list overnight. I've done it all over a period of time. I'm still doing it now. I'm still working on it and working towards it. But that in itself, just picking that one night and going, you know what? I'm not going to the gym tonight. I'm not doing this. I'm not doing that. Nicole's going to come round. I'm going to sort that room out. Honestly, when my fella came along, I thought I was going to kiss her. You're like, I can't believe you've done this with her. Like, because he's aware that I have a lot of shit. Yeah, it was amazing. It took us a few hours but the result at the end. The other thing it's enabled me to do is shit loads of stuff on Vinted. Vinted is so good but it's such a chore. Anyone who does Vinted will know that. So we split everything into little smaller piles and do a pile at a time. I sold nearly all the things that I put in my first pile already. And I thought, you know what? I'm going to take some cheeky offers because I'm not going to use it. It's just sat up there doing nothing. So I might as well shift it and get rid. So yeah, I love doing a sort out winter to summer anyway. But my goal, I love online shopping. I have such a problem. I've never got myself to the habit if I'm not going to wear it, unless it's a VVV special occasion like a wedding or my birthday. If I'm not going to wear it three, four, five times, I'm not buying it. Right? That's just my rule now. And like all my holiday clothes that start accumulating are being worn on every single holiday this summer. I'm not like wearing it once in Ibiza and then fucking burning it. Like, no, not happening. Everything is getting worn because why not? Why do we have this mentality that you can only wear things once? Your wedding dress, get it off. Same with prom. Why have we got ourselves into this space? Who really gives that much of a fuck what we have? It's just what it is. People have that mentality. I don't want to have it anymore. I need to spend my money on things like renovating a kitchen when I buy a house. So yeah, that has been very, very beneficial for me, 100%. Yeah, like I said, not doing stuff every night after work. That's another change I made. I actually then, from not doing something every night after work, I invested in some more time for myself. In any way, shape or form. One of the biggest things I've done. And again, I think I've talked about this before. I used to have a really bad persona and relationship with sitting down and watching telly. I never, until recently, have sat down and watched telly off my own back without being with someone or being on my phone. It's just been on in the background. It has to be something I'm obsessed with to sit and watch, likely. Do you know what I mean? Unless me and my fellow were sitting there watching a new series, I just wouldn't. I think it wasn't a productive use of my time. Which, in some ways it isn't. But in some ways, that's also an unhealthy mindset. So I need to snap out of that. So I got on the cool Disney Plus and I started watching Grey's Anatomy. And you're going to think I'm a psychopath because I know there's 20 seasons. It's the best thing I've ever done. Because now I have something, for me, where I can sit. The episodes are 45 minutes long. Right, some of them are a little bit longer for a special one. Big shout out to the shooter episodes, we love you. It's so good. I'm so emotionally invested. Me and Indy can now send each other TikToks that make sense. Because she was the only person, and Katie were the only people that had actually watched it. But Katie's not on TikTok, she's too mature for that of course. Yeah, they were the only... No, we've got something to connect on. But more importantly, I have something I can sit and watch. So tonight, when no one's here, I can just sit and watch that. And that can be me, chilling out in peace, sat with a brew. And like, I can't believe I used to frown upon that. Because sometimes I think you need some mind-numbing shit to zone out from the day. And I've become so obsessed with progress and focusing on goals and stuff that like, I just didn't have any of that time. And it's bollocks because you need that time to de-stress. My only de-stressing shouldn't be when I go on holiday. I should have de-stressing time in all of my weeks. And I didn't have that, and now I do. So I'm really, really, really happy about that. I'm doing the things that feel good for me. I'm actually looking at, what do I do that returns me joy? What is my return on investment in life? I'm doing that. I'm investing in my relationships that are close to me. I'm actually spending more time with my fellow. Which sounds stupid because I yap on about it all the time. But actually investing in time at home together. Having tea together. Watching a documentary. Well, yeah, like a Netflix series together. But actually being present with one another rather than just living together. There is a difference. That's another thing when you're moving with your partner. Make that goddamn time together. Please. So 100% that's really helped. I also looked at my relationships around me. And I was honest with myself and I was honest with the people around me. About, you know, my feelings and how certain situations made me feel. And again, I don't think sometimes you realise how much emotional capacity that you give to situations until you stand back and reflect on it. I think when you're chatting to your friends sometimes and you're all offloading on each other and things like that. You kind of just get used to absorbing it. But then after a bit you think, I need to start cherry picking some of this out here and think a little bit about yourself. And sometimes I've been started worrying about other people's problems. Because I think obviously what your mum tells you she does and you call her a freak for it. I need to chill out and stop. So yeah, just being a lot more honest with myself and with people around me about how they make me feel. And that again has ultimately protected my peace in the long run. I've not upset anyone in the process. My biggest thing was, contrary to me being a bolshie gal, as most of you may think, I'm not. The thought of upsetting someone literally burns my soul internally. So that's a lot of the time why for someone who's so open and up front, I will suppress how I'm feeling about certain things. So yeah, definitely that has helped me. At times as well, I've tapped out of being so emotionally involved with things. And that is everything from work to dance to things that like... When you learn about what's worth getting upset and stressed over. And you know what? I should have been better at that because I've had, without getting the fucking violin out of course, I know what it's like to go through real loss and real problems, right? As a lot of people do. And everyone's worst thing that's happened to them is the worst thing that's happened to them on the scale of their life. When I look at some of the things that I've sweat over and got stressed and got upset and emotional over, and I look at some of the things I've gone through, I'm like, I didn't get stressed about that when that has happened. Do you know what I mean? But yeah, I've always been very... I think because I've invested so much of my time into my job that I always bleep out of it. I do apologise. I bet you feel like you're listening to the same fucking episode every week. I learnt how to better tap in and tap out of stuff. And I was actually having this conversation with one of my colleagues the other day about, you know, people who say they're busy all the time. Is that really healthy? This is coming from a girl who has a busy life and everyone says, oh, you're the busy one, you tell me when you're free. All true, all true facts. I am a busy girl. Is it normal? Can we not have a couple of quiet days at work? Can we not have a couple of days where you just... It's a steady day. You're not dead at the door, but you're on top of what you're doing. Does it always have to be? You're chasing things that are four weeks old. You didn't do this, you didn't do that. I don't think that's very productive. And I'm sorry, I don't want to work till 7pm every night. I have a fucking life. Like, I want to be productive in my day so that at half past four, five o'clock, I can go, you know what, bang, laptop shut. I'm done for the day. Tomorrow, I won't be driving till half past six, seven o'clock at night. You don't know what's going to happen. I just... Number one, sometimes I don't believe it, that people are always so busy. I think it's bollocks. But number two, like... Words are protecting your peace. Words are getting on top of your shit. Like, I don't know, it just... Yeah, I'm just not emotionally connected to it because I think ultimately, I love my job, I think I'm quite good at it, and I love what I do. If I died yesterday, I'd be replaced in a few weeks. My team would be upset. Of course they would. Oh, hello. But they're going to replace you. And like, what's really important, what... I go to work so I can do nice things and have nice things. End of discussion. It just so much helps that I enjoy my job and I fucking love my team and I love the concept of what I do. It doesn't have to be that deep. It doesn't have to be the personality anymore. It was for so long. It was my everything. Doesn't matter, it's easy done because you spend so much time at work. You spend more time at work than anywhere, for the love of God. I've said that before. But, yeah, just learning to check in and check out a bit, not just checking and staying, right? So that's definitely 100%... 100%? 100% help me, like, learn anything. And enjoying the things that I do rather than just doing them. I think that, again, comes back down to prioritising my time. So, like, rather than seeing people for an hour, one night a week, every week, seeing them maybe once every two or three weeks, but spending the whole day with them, actually enjoying seeing them, going for food, going for a walk, spending time with my niece, not just for an hour, but for hours, you know what I mean? Like, having that quality time and, like, the whole quality over quantity thing. Makes you enjoy that time so much more with the people you're with or doing the things that you're doing, do you know what I mean? Like, no, I go to dance on a Tuesday and I'm not just there going through the motions. I'm so enjoying it and just, like, do you know what I mean? Things like that. Like, I think actually understanding what brings you enjoyment and getting the enjoyment out of it. Which, again, sounds very cliche, but something you just take for granted that there are done things and that you do them. And you just keep doing them. So, yeah, those are changes that I've started to make that I know is a big improvement. They're all my versions of self-care. They are what I have done to look after oneself and to improve my overall mental welfare, we'll call her. Let's get on to your ideas of self-care, boys and girls. I pretty much agree with 80% of them. For me, personally, the things I would take part in as self-care. Let's go through them. We have some gorgeous walking. The word walks is in front of me. Some gorgeous writing. It's Wednesday, I love it. Walking, we've had a lot of people saying they love going for walks as a version of self-care. Me too. Like I said, you can't beat it. Especially, again, today's a bad example, but when the weather is good. As long as it's not raining, getting out and going for a walk is just stunning. Like, unreal. And I think it goes without saying, especially when you go with someone and you're chatting, you can walk a few miles in the town and you don't even feel it because you're gassing or you've got a brew or you've got one of the dogs. Like, just unreal. A lot of people saying it's the gym or like different versions of exercise or like yoga. We've had a couple of people saying swimming. Love that, love that for you. I would like to improve on my swimming. Don't know how I feel about wearing a swimming cap, but I would really like to improve on my swimming. I'm really good at backstroke. Weirdly. Terrible at breaststroke. Every time I swim breaststroke I'm only wearing my bikini top all the time. Front crawl, yeah, I can do that. But I really actually enjoy swimming. It's not a thing for swimming though, it's that sport that makes you feel really unfit. But then like, your mum will do 50 laps in a pool and not even break a sweat and you're like, eh? Like, it's a very humbling exercise is swimming. But yeah, the gym, 100%, like I just said, is one of my safe spaces. That's where I'm able to vent off, chill, everything. Not in like a, I would throw a dumbbell down. I just like it. I like everything about the gym. I like going. I love the gym. I am at because I feel comfortable there. There's loads of equipment. I like the equipment. I like people. I like the price. Like, it's all them things. There's space everywhere. Like, there's always somewhere to go. And you can just tune out. Like, I just, I love it. What's that? Having a broom, playing Sims. Oh my God, I used to love Sims. I used to download Sims on my dad's computer that he used to like DJ and music. He's gone mad every year when I did it. Oh my God, Sims was the best. It would still hurt for me and Drake on Sims and make us, and make us like babies. But anyway. Anyway, David's just never there. Not officially, but one day. Oh, Sims, what a time to be alive. Specifically Sims 2 and 3 for me. I've never played any of the newer ones, to be fair. Rollercoaster Tycoon, that was another one as well. Does anyone remember that? Hands up for Rollercoaster Tycoon. That was, oh. That and Sims were mine and my brother's summers at one point, and that's amazing. Also makes me sound like we never left our rooms. Stone Bath. No, I've never done a stone bath. Nicole has. I don't know if any one of the friends have, but I've never done a stone bath. The lady wrote in said it makes her sound like a hippie. No, it doesn't, Queen. If that's where you get your kicks, you get to the stone bath. You'll have to tell me what it entails, what happens there. But I love that. Again, what works for you? What's your idea of self-care? What makes you chill out then? Relax. Baking, yes. Oh my God, take some time. But I love baking. Every time my bananas go a bit brown in the kitchen, I'm looking at them like, I see you, and I eat them before I can make them into banana bread. But it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen one day. Meditation and yoga, yes to both of them. I'm definitely more of a yoga girl than a meditation girl. I will say, I do like practicing my breathing when I'm going to sleep. I feel like it just helps me focus on something and stops my mind from racing. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?