ep7 revised

In this episode, the speaker discusses toxic relationships and how societal expectations and upbringing can influence our views on relationships. They share personal experiences and advice on recognizing toxic behaviors, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care. The speaker emphasizes the importance of finding a partner who treats you well and supports your goals and interests. They also encourage self-reflection and healing before entering into new relationships. We're back to Doña Fresa. I hope you guys liked the last episode, but let's pick up on it because I want to extend on it. And it's going to be about relationships, toxic relationships, relaciones amorosas. So if you're under 18, this is not for you. Click exit right now. All right, you guys that are still listening, here it goes. So when we grew up as little girls, there's these dolls and these certain gender toys that are thrown at us if you are in our era. Yes, we had those princess dolls and everything, Barbie and all this stuff. So we get this idea of watching these Disney movies, Beauty and the Beast was one of the main movies I used to watch, The Little Mermaid, all these princess, Snow White, all this stuff. The guy's supposed to come and save you and live happily ever after. But it's like we've been brainwashed to believe that we have to grow up, find a guy, have a baby, get married, do all this stuff. But it's been backfiring for a long time. It's not right. That's what our parents did. And I guess whoever made these movies are old school and they've been recreated for many times now, many years. Back then, if a little boy played with dolls, it's like, oh, he's gay or he's going to be gay. Don't let him play with these things. But to be honest, my daughter loves, she likes Spiderman. And I said, why do you like Spiderman? She said, oh, because I don't want a Barbie. I don't want a girl. She said, I want a superhero. That's why I like Spiderman. She's like, that's my man. She's 11, y'all. And I let her. It's true. She made so much sense to me, like, why does a girl need to go play with, it's like they confuse us from the get go. On TV, our parents are too busy to actually spend time with us. They're working all the time. So we're there in front of our TV, just watching everything that comes on and without any filtration or anything, like just flat out everything. That's all. I used to watch Jose Luis Incensura when I was like 11. Who remembers that show? Who used to like El Osito, Osito come on down. Yeah, I used to watch Maury. I used to watch all that. I was like 11. It's like listening to all this drama and all this stuff like between, you know, and you get like sucked into that, like, okay, like, all this stuff's supposed to be, but my parents were so like old school. You know, that Mexican household, your traditional Mexican household where we nobody talks about nothing, nobody tells you nothing. So growing up, when it came down to me having a boyfriend, it was, there was no like talk, there was no like, hey, you know, this is how a woman should be treated. You are the prize. You are the queen of everything. They should have everything set up for you. You know, but no, nobody. And so I went about into relationships, just like whatever little love I can take in. Like I was just, I have daddy issues. So I was always like, just hearing somebody tell you they love you. It's like, okay, I'm going to do above and beyond for this person. But it's like, we learned to take pieces like migajas de amor throughout our years, because we were never educated on what a relationship is and it should be. So we go through life like animals again, like I keep saying, we go through como animalitos, we go through life and just experiencing every relationship. Like my mom and dad are like, you have to get married. And then you have to have babies and you have to, you know, do all these things. I never got that. I never, the first time I brought my first boyfriend and it was kind of awkward because it's like, oh my God, I was a little scared to bring my boyfriend to the, you know, I was only what I want to say like 18 or 19. I don't know. I don't know how old I was. I think like 18 and he was like one year younger than me. Oh my God, I remember this, this relationship. Yeah, it was never like, it was always like hanging out and like, I never expected anything. I had no goals for the relationship. I had no expectations. I had seen like, you know, novellas and like movies, but it was just all so new, you know, so I didn't know nothing. And it just, it throws you off because you go into these relationships and you don't know what the goal is, what you want from it. Cause we're so young. That's why I tell people, women, if you just take your time and travel and work and get to know the world and the right person's going to probably bump into you while you're doing life because if we're just out here, just trying to hang out with this guys, hang out, quote unquote, or like just go and chill and Netflix and show whatever. No, we can't be doing that. We can't be just getting these fools everything for so little for like a steak dinner at Mastro's. Like come on. Like that's, um, they need to realize that we are the price. We are everything because women offer so much that, um, you can't thinking like all these things because we're so influenced by everything else around us and we are not being guided correctly as to what and how our relationship needs to be. So we go through these dumb relationships one after the other, after the other, because we are a broken pattern in our brain. There's something psychologically not right with us because it's not normal for somebody to just jump from one to another, to another relationship. Okay. So for you guys, always like jumping into relationships besides the energetic attachment you're creating with that person, you are not doing a disservice to yourself, to your energy and to your vibration because we are not aware of what we are doing and how we're giving our energy to just all these different entities just for attention and a little bit of love and a dinner or some drinks and a club outing like that. That is not fulfilling guys. Like that is not something that you guys should be like, Oh yeah, we get bottle service. We do this because you know what, now that I've done all that, like I don't care for any of that. I don't care less if I go to a club, I don't care less if I don't have bottle service. I don't care about any of that. It doesn't matter in the end. We're just spending our money, being done with our money and our time and just wasting our time with these guys and we're not producing anything. So if you're going to be doing that or if you're that type of person, that's just one after the other after the other. You need some time for some healing and some self reflection and you need to analyze all your relationships you've ever been with and really put into thought like, what am I doing? Why am I attracting the same energy? Because you are in that same energy so you can't attract anything better. But when we better ourselves, we can work on getting better relationships or stable stability, stable relationships, more love and joy and just, you don't have to be hiding your phone. You don't have to be like, oh, I'm talking to this person or erasing messages and stuff like that. Just pick one and focus on that one. But you need to be ready to date because if you're not ready to date and take it seriously, we need to stop giving away just free goodies for a little good time here and there. I'm sorry, but that's not, once you're done doing all the goodies, that's it. It's like temporary. It's like nothing, but there's nothing like creating a bond with somebody where you could just talk to and talk about life, talk about freaky things and talk about the earth or the stars or God or whatever you guys are interested in. So I was attracting these toxic relationships and I kept having a different relationship like every two years. It just, it was a pattern for me. Like in every May, two or three years, whatever relationship, I would just break up with them or something would happen and we would just break up. So I just went from relationship to relationship looking for my prince charming. That I believe has come now, but it's just, I was in this pattern where it was just continuous of the same things, that same type of guy. Yeah, until I quit. In the previous episode, you guys heard about my last ex. And so that was the turning point for me where I was like, okay, I need to work on me. I need to stop giving my energy away for free to this person that is not reciprocating my energy, not meeting me at the same level. So that's where I put an end to it. I set up my boundary and never again. And I know it's so easy for me to say now, but it wasn't easy. And I know it's not going to be if you are in a toxic relationship right now, because right now you are clouded, clouded thinking, clouded seeing, it's clouded everything. Emotionally clouded because when we are emotional, we can't think rationally. So, so everything I have accumulated these 13 years of just working on myself and leveling myself up because I just didn't want to have that same relationship and or end up, I don't want to be lonely. I wanted to be with somebody. So that was my goal. And you have to internalize like, what do I want? Do I want to be with somebody? I have a friend, she lives in Maui. She really doesn't care for even to have kids. She's living her best life. She could care less. You know, you have to analyze what your personal goal is here on earth and then work from there. And it's okay because like I said, if we don't level ourselves up, we cannot attract somebody with the same energy. But like I tell you guys, from all my experiences, what I can give you is this advice. Be careful who you get into relationships with, because we need to understand that I keep bringing mental health up because mental health is so important. Because if you are with somebody that is not all there, we are all not there, but that's a little bit over the little radar. You need to keep an eye out because that's when we need to develop our intuition, which is next episode. But we need to be able to discern and be like, okay, this person is big red flag. Because I didn't see all the red flags. I was like at Magic Mountain when I dated my ex. Like it was red flags everywhere. Yeah, so I wasn't thinking of that because I was just in my own world. And I just attracted all those energies towards me. And I, you know, we had relations and we are interconnected energetically. So that's a different form of connecting with who you're having relations with. Okay, so just know that. So from there, it's like it goes on. Like if you're with the wrong person, that person will make you either gain a lot of weight. They will make you feel, not make you, like you just start to notice yourself, like let yourself go. You just don't care to dress anymore or dress up or do your makeup or your hair. Because that person is sucking the life out of you and they are not giving you the same energy. They are not matching you. So and then these girls are like ride or dies. It's like their mentality sometimes like, oh, I'm gonna be with him, whatever. Nothing. We can't, we're gonna go through so much. But you know what? If you like to suffer, then handle it. Stay there. But for those of you that are trying to get out, it's not easy, but it can be done. You have to look at their temperament. If they have a good temper, like you need to test them. I'm sorry, when you're dating, you're testing these guys. Like if they have a good temperament, if they're family oriented, if they are a people person, if they like to go out in groups. So it's nice to just date and get to really know each other before you guys are even like, you know, involved romantically and sexually because we make connections, energetic connections every day with people. But when you're in a relationship and you're continuing that relationship with one person, you guys intertwine. Yeah, we have to check these guys. Like, are they clean? Do they have their car clean? Is their house? Well, you're not going to be going to their house. We're not doing that this year. They got to work for it. Not just some cheap dinner date. And girls do not let these guys take you to like tacos on the first date. Let that mother effer pay for some. Okay, let him treat you like the goddess that you are and that you deserve to be treated. Okay, because you need to show him that that's how you need to be treated for the rest of the relationship. You need to set the standard super high because if they don't like that, well too bad. Next on to the next one because I'm not saying be a super gold digger, but we are not on this earth to suffer and just we're here to enjoy the earth and everything that the earth has to offer to us. And of course, protect the planet. Use it, but don't abuse it. We can't be low-balling ourselves. I did that for so many years and I wish somebody would have said, you know what Sheila, like I'm going to teach you to up your game. I had to learn all this on my own. Nobody taught me the game. It's literally a game guys because they do the same thing with us. They analyze us, they look at us, they see if we're smart, if we're beautiful enough on the outside, if we're beautiful on the inside. Some guys don't care if you're beautiful on the inside, but it helps to be beautiful on the inside. I recommend it. They do the same thing with us. So we're human. We just, we look and we judge and we analyze. That's what we do. That's what our brain does. I'm tired of seeing these women just be degraded day after day, just acting like the maid in the house and not being treated correctly. I'm going to give you, if men are listening right now, I'm going to give you some advice. If you have a girl and if you are not kind and treat her like the goddess that she is, that's where your money flows. So if your money is not flowing correctly in your household, you need to check how you are treating the queen of that house and everybody that lives in there, but mostly your direct house partner like your mate, your husband, wife, whatever. Try it. I promise you, you're going to be like, Oh yeah, my money's flowing. Guys, I am a true believer into manifesting and visualizing and I've been doing this since I was like six years old. I kid you not, like I've always had the gift of seeing like, I guess you can say clairvoyant, clairaudience too, because I hear also things are always transmitted. It's kind of hard to talk about, but I guess I just got to let it out. I've been just so quiet for so long. It's kind of nice to let it out, but it's kind of weird because it's like, how do you say this to somebody? And if you know me in person, you know that that's a real thing. But yes, make sure you are being treated correctly by your husband, your man. So let's point out some things, how to spot a toxic relationship or a toxic environment that you're in. So your significant other always finds something wrong with you. A partner who offers unsolicited suggestions for that you need to improve, doesn't support your interests or hobbies, and fundamentally criticizes aspects of yourself. So if somebody's always like, oh, you're trying to show them like a dress and they're like, oh, you look too fat, or you're too round, or maybe you should get a different one. And if you love it, you're like, okay, sure. It like kills your self-esteem. And these guys will do it and do it and do it and do it because they know that you're not going to do anything about it. Because they have manipulated you into thinking that you are very ugly and cheap and low and not worth it. And just because that's what they do, they break you down. And they make you believe that. So you will never leave them. They're kind of like a pimp. You know, if you've ever known about pimps, like they psychologically mess you up so that you can never leave them, so that you can always work for them. Okay? No bueno. So another one is, yeah, like I said, they strip away your self-esteem. They name call you, raise their voice at you, call you names out of your name. That's the last straw for me. When somebody called me out of my name, I was like, I'm out. You're never doing that again. Like that was for me, that was so disrespectful. Like I get a lot of like, why are you wearing so much makeup? I like you natural. Like, yeah, you want her natural because you don't want to spend money on your girl. You want her all plain Jane, but yet you're at the grocery store looking at another girl all dressed up with a dress, makeup, hair done, everything done, nails done. But yet you won't invest in your own wife to look as good or better than that person at the grocery store. So you guys need to check yourselves. Um, like why do you have to see your friends tonight? I thought you were going to stay home. I thought you were going to cook dinner tomorrow night and Saturday. I don't want to go out. So they try to keep you like, they don't even want to take you to dinner anymore. Like they want to keep you at home. Oh, let's eat at home. Um, maybe you should cook cause I want to see your cooking skills. Tell them about the effort you don't cook. And you, if you do cook, lie and tell them, uh, you know, cook on special occasions like a Christmas or if you're having a dinner party, cook then or maybe have him order some catering for you so you don't have to do nothing. But no, you don't accept those type of dates because for what? You don't accept that from your husband. Your husband needs to take you out at least twice a month, at least pick a day where you guys can just have a date yourselves. That's if you're not in a toxic relationship, of course. Um, and you know, he's basically always the boss. Like he's always telling you what you need to do, how, what time to get back, what time you can leave, you know what to eat. It can get that intense guys. Like you don't even realize it that you're in too deep into the shit hole that you've just landed on that you don't realize all these things that he's doing around you. And then when you finally see light at the end of the tunnel, you're like, Oh, wait a minute. He's been doing this and this. And then you connect the dots and everybody's time to leave is not, you know, immediate. Sometimes girls, we have to wait it out and we have to ask for some counseling and some help or something. Sometimes there's so many resources out there. You're controlling and excessively jealous. If your partner can bear the thought of you not being by their side, you need to rethink that relationship with girls. A partner who insists on being hyper close and doing everything together or doesn't allow you to be by yourself and is constantly monitoring you or questioning your whereabouts and intentions is in, it's an indicate that it's a toxic relationship. So that's, it's okay for especially Latino men and our culture, you know, they say macho, all this stuff. Yes. But I, my ex before my man right now, he never called me. He never even cared if I got to where I went safely or nothing. So to me it was like, dang, this motherfucker don't even care about me. Who cares if I died on the road? So I thought for me, like I'm telling you, I have diatria. So I was like, what the hell? I wasn't getting that. So I was easily disconnected from that relationship real quick because he wasn't attentive to me and I'm not saying I need to be with you 24 seven, but my man now at least calls me twice or text me and says, Hey, I love you. He knows that a woman needs that attention and that text to be like, how's your day going? Or have a good day. God bless you. I hope you have a great day. Having a phone call, a little emoji, heart kiss, whatever. We need that emotional connection with our partners. So, and especially if you are not taking care of yourself, if you're not practicing self care, um, your own behavior patterns can be red flags too. So if you realize like you haven't done your hair, you haven't, um, done your nails, you haven't given yourself like a little facial, even at home, they show you don't have to go to the spa. You can just do it, um, you know, at home. Um, if you're neglecting me time for any reason, that's a red flag, big red flag. If you're not taking care of yourself, that's, um, no bueno. Um, so, and then say you guys get into arguments. This is another one. Uh, you keep wanting, hoping for them to change, quote unquote. I stayed in several relationships waiting for them to change. They're never going to change guys. Let me drop this reality on everybody. They don't change. They are only person that can change is themselves. You cannot wait around and hope that they're going to change because they know that they're, they're going to keep you there because you're hoping that they're going to change. Sometimes you need cold turkey and cut them off and it's hard. It's not easy. I understand, especially if you have children with these guys, it's hard, but it's not impossible. That's why I want to send this message to you. If you're in a toxic relationship, it is not impossible to leave. And there's so many resources, like I keep saying. So this person makes you feel very insecure when you're in a healthy relationship. There's a significant back and forth where you're complimenting each other, bringing out the best in each other and letting each other know, I care about you. I'm here for you. And this is why. So if you're in a constant state of insecurity around your person, you are not in a healthy relationship period. Okay. It's if you're always questioning how you look or having to think twice of what you're going to wear because of what they're going to think or what kind of makeup or hair you should do, because you're going to, you're scared that what are they going to tell you? That's too much stress to live like that. Ladies, like it's so stressful to be like, man, my man's going to love me. He's going to love me. I know, granula. I know. I get it. But it's, we got to take care of ourselves. Like I said, we need to stop. I've been seeing so many ladies at the stores, just granulas with some man shorts, like some just, it's just terrible. I saw this lady the other day. I don't want to talk smack, but it's just an example of women out there. This lady had her hair in a bun. She has the dirty shirt, like a, like if she had been working on, I don't know if she just came from work, but she looked like a housewife to me. Like she was with her daughter and they look so raggedy. Like you can be poor and not have a lot of resources, but you can be clean and you can dress, you know, okay. Unless you're living under a bridge, that's a whole different scenario, but you can look nice and put together without spending a lot of money. And there's a lot of stores, Ross, TJ Maxx, HomeGoods, all this, Marshall's, Walmart. Your significant other never takes responsibility. If a gentle reminder to your partner to please pick up the wet towels ends in a fight literally every time because you knew they were going through a stressful week at work and why would you even bring that up right now? Geez. Yeah. That's what a trait of a toxic relationship. Like you tell them to do something and then they give you an excuse not to do it, even though you already told them. And it's actually a simple fact or have leaving the dishes and the sink and saying, you know, I'm going to wash them and then doesn't wash them. Just leave them there. Like that's not even acknowledging you or respecting you because you have to take care of the kids. You have to put them to bed. You have to take the baths. You need to do the dinner and do everything else that goes along with keeping a home tidy. But he just ignores to just give you a little help. And if he doesn't help you with the baby, if you're a new mom and he's just over here with his video games and you're over here taking care of business, like you guys need to rethink. That's why I'm giving you guys this chit chat because if you're not, you don't have any kids right now with this person and you are in a relationship with somebody and is treating you this way, go run, run, run, run. And then I got one more for you guys. Your family and friends are concerned when your family and your friends feel the need to get involved in the relationship. That's a red flag. I know there's some chismosa mother-in-law and there's some, you know, they want to be in the relationship and we talked about that. But then there's some that we're not trying to be chismosa. We're just giving you our intuition about the relationship, how we see you guys interact, how you guys hang out at family get togethers, how you guys speak to one another. This is my pet peeve for me, for a guy to call their girl dude or bro or give them that body language like they're going to like hurt them. Like, you know, when they show their shoulders, like trying to do something like they would with a guy. I've seen that be done from a guy to his girl, quote unquote. And it's so disrespectful. And the way that they like bro or dude, like, Oh dude, I was a no. Like when you love somebody, you're like my love or my amor or my babe, whatever you guys want to call each other. My bomboncito, mi fresita. But somebody that does that cusses at you, that calls you out of your name, that has to cuss for everything. People that cuss for everything have a lot of, they're smart. Don't get me wrong. They're smart, pero they're too smart. They're smart asses. Guys that cuss at their girls. I don't accept that. I do not allow that because that is so disrespectful. Like I say, please ladies, stop allowing this type of treatment. Cut these motherfuckers off. They, they will be just fine or worse without you because they will perish without our energy, our good energy that we have to bring in a healthy relationship. Ladies trust builds over time. As you get to know each other and you're wondering if you can believe what your partner tells you, truthfulness will be confirmed by your partner's actions. Okay. They need to show it, not just say it. I need actions. They come through in the way that they say they will. If they promise something to you, it better be done ASAP because that's a red flag of not following through with promises or goals that you guys have for the future. But in a toxic relationship, this often doesn't happen. They won't follow through on their promises or maybe they'll be super into you one weekend and completely disinterested the next. Okay. So there's the constant push and pull of that toxic relationship. You often feel worse when you're with them. When you're in a healthy relationship, you want to be with your person. Not, not all the time, but often. In a toxic relationship, it's the opposite. You think that you miss them and that you want to see them, but as soon as you see them, you feel down or insecure. It just diminishes, like it puts your light out. Maybe they're doing something to make you feel insecure. If they're not giving you their full attention, perhaps they're on their phone when they're talking to you or they start off the conversation with a put down, like so negative. You feel drained. That's the main one for me, I feel. You feel drained when you're around them. When I was with my ex, I used to not want to come home. I used to stay out as long as possible because I didn't want to be around him. I didn't want to come home. I didn't want to feel his energy. I was gaining weight. I wasn't really taking care of myself. I was wearing makeup because that is my profession. If I'm not wearing no makeup, how are people going to trust me sometimes that have never seen my skills? In my business, beauty, outside beauty is everything. Yeah, so I didn't want to come home. His energy was like draining the crap out of me. I literally felt sick, guys. It can manifest to a physical ailment. You go to the doctor, you don't feel good, you go to the doctor, get checked, there's nothing wrong with you. But yet you go back home to this toxic environment, to this toxic person that you have to sleep with every night and interact with every day. That's not good. It's not good for anybody. It's not good for the kids. It's not good for yourself. It's better to be away from each other and just do your own thing. And yeah, so that's some of the facts that I wanted to point out to you ladies because there's so much crap out there. We need to filter out these dumb asses, these dusty ass mother effers because we are cream of the crop. We need to be treated like queens, like the goddess that we are because we bring so much to the table and we need to be careful where we put our imprint on and who we're having relationships with and who we're interacting with sexually because that builds an energetic tie to that person. I don't know if you've ever, hey, we're going to get into energy for a little bit. I don't know if you've ever had a relationship with somebody and you guys had sex and you been breaking up or you've been broke up for years now, but yet you still somehow you think about that time and place where you guys did the delicious. It stays stuck in your energetic field and that's why we need to practice cord cutting. Cord cutting, I do this with my clients after they are done with a toxic relationship. So we do a letter, I make them write a letter to their ex and to forgive them and to write down all the things that made them unhappy about them and they just read it to themselves and they pray over it and they bury it in a tree. You're giving it back to the earth. You're sending all that energy back to the earth. And then you do the cord cutting where you visualize yourself and that person connected with a gold ribbon from umbilical, like an umbilical cord, yes, but together, like you guys are tied to it, through it. So you have to visualize it and imagine it, imagine you cutting it, cutting it with an axe, with scissors, just dissolving the attachment that you have with that person. And that's going to help you disconnect yourself from that relationship and I can assure you, you will stop having those phone calls from that recurring ex. You will stop getting notifications from that person. That person will stop, just stop, period. But yeah, that's some spiritual cleansing that you need to do and we all need to do some spiritual cleansing for the whole body by taking baths and salt baths. If you have Epsom salt, that works because literally guys, we are energy vessels and we are, every time we have interaction with another person, another being, because we're all light, we're all light and dark. That person may dump on you, they may be like, hey, Susita, that fulanita did this, and me pasó esto, and me cortaron la luz, and my hija esto, they come dump on you, your coworkers, your tías, your family members, whoever, strangers, strangers come dump on me every time. I'm like a target, I bump into somebody and they just start talking to me and start dumping on me, but that's a whole different story. So we need to, it's like we're collecting people's trash, like throughout the day, energetically. Imagine that, you're coming in contact with different people, people at Walmart, the cashier, the lady at the gas station, the lady at, wherever you went and did your little errands, whoever you saw for that day, you made an energetic connection with that person. So we need to practice spiritual cleansing by taking baths or a bucket bath, you put a bucket, like one of those Home Depot, one of those white buckets, like from Mexico, and you put your water at whatever temperature you want, mostly more cold than hot, not too cold, because maybe like cold, go for it, that's even better, but if you don't like too cold, just cool enough, and throw some salt, epsom salt or sal de mar, like sea salt, and give yourself a bath from head to toe with that water after you've already finished doing your bath ritual, like just, you know, doing the bath gel or whatever you use, soap, whatever, washing your body, your normal shower, so you do that in the end. So the salt is gonna get rid of any negativity and the water is gonna, the water is gonna balance out your vibration, back to your normal vibration, what you vibrate at, because we can lower our vibration by absorbing negativity and we can absorb those waves, it's energy guys, we are all energy, everything is energy, the whole planet, there's particles everywhere and we're all made up of it. So remember ladies, always make sure you are being treated and loved correctly because if you don't, I know it, it's not there baby, keep looking. There's somebody for everybody, don't give up, we are meant for community, we are not meant to be alone in this world, we are not meant to be in solitary confinement, we are meant to have community and share love and peace and joy and family. So don't get discouraged, whatever your situation is right now, I want you to know that a lot of ladies have been through so much that I'm gonna be doing interviews and we're gonna be hearing some stories, but I wanted to give you guys this information because sometimes we're so scared to leave that relationship because of all the years quote on quote we have already collected with that person and we don't want to start over and you know what, we have to stop thinking that way, we need to find happiness because that's literally what everybody else in this planet wants, to find happiness. Everybody just wants to be happy I think and it takes money and it takes effort and work and it takes a lot of things to be happy, but why should it be so hard to receive love and keep it instead of having to make these relationships so hard and stressful like your home, when you come home you should just want to be home, oh I want to go home, that's all I want to do, I want to go home because that's your safe space, that is your castle, that is your dominion, but if you are not wanting to go home, you want to go and just have a couple drinks after work and you want to take 2, 3, 4 hours and say you're at work because you really don't want to be at home, ay no es prima, te digo largate, no te quedes ahi como tonta, yep, no te quedes a podrir, no te quedes a hacer nada, se feliz, do your life, be happy, the kids are going to leave, you are going to be stuck in that loveless toxic relationship and what are you going to do then, you are going to be too old to leave, because then you are stuck, nobody wants us, because it is about looks guys, sometimes it is about looks, unless you want to find somebody that's you know, whatever, but, ahorita que estan jovenes, no sean mensas, ponganse las pilas, put your batteries on ladies and find yourself a good partner to spend the rest of your life with so you don't end up alone and with cats, there is somebody for everybody guys, seriously, there is, I promise you, and don't be dumb, no dejen que estos weyes las hagan pendejas, no se dejen apantallar with so little, no, don't let these guys like floss on you, and yeah that's cool, he has a nice car, but that's his car, like where is my car, like you want to floss on me, you need to buy me my own G-Wagon, you need to buy me my own BMW, you know, you just, you can't, it's like you can't be flossing their cars, you can't be flossing their watches, you can't be flossing, no, they need to take care of you, and when they are willing to invest in you and they are going to love you properly, that's where it's at prima, that's ahi te quedas, okay, que te respeten, que te traten como una reina, that they cater to you, but you have to, you know, give that same energy back to, so it has to be an equal of exchange of energy for it to work, okay, you guys both have to work at it, it's not like he has to do everything, like I get it, like he can cater to you, but you also got to put in some effort, arreglate, dale de comer, hazle un patito, un carinito, because guys love being chuleados, a ellos les encanta que los chulen tambien, asi como a las viejas nos gusta que nos chulen a los hombres tambien, y mas cuando es like you mean something to them, bien chiflados se ponen como una vieja, try it, pero si, denles unos carinitos aqui, denle un besito, tírenle un besito, you guys got to flirt with each other man, you guys got to do something, because these relationships be getting dull sometimes, you all got to put some effort to, but yeah ladies, stop staying in these dumb toxic relationships, because lo que diran, lo que diran tu mama, la abuela, la tia, no importa que digan nadie, nada, nada importa, the only thing that matters is que estes safe, que you are happy, that your kids are safe and in a stable home, and that that person is loving you and only you, and that you can trust that person, because if you cannot trust your person, there is nothing, there is no point in the relationship, if there is no trust and respect, please respect each other guys, stop putting hands on each other, stop swinging at each other, slapping, even slapping, even joking around like that is not ok, it can lead to something, been there done that ok, like then there should be no reason why you guys should be play slapping your girl, or being play slapped by your guy, like that is not ok in any book, that is some type of physical abuse and some psychological abuse right there, like no, we are not doing that, que te hagan cariñitos, que te den un besito, que te agarren la mano, que te vengan y te abracen asi, que te apapachen, it's ok, but if you are being like that's love or that's cariñito, that is not love or cariñito ok, heck no, but don't let these motherfuckers run you guys, do your thing, put yourself first, love yourself first, and the right person is going to come along and match your energy and you are going to be forever happy. Well I will catch you guys next time, I hope you guys got something from this episode, stay tuned for the next one because it is going to be on following our intuition and I think a lot of ladies need to hear this one because we are not following our intuition and we need to wake up and start opening that because it is going to help us guide, travel through life better. I love you Prima, see you next time.