EP.5

In this episode of Doña Fresa, the host explores Latina beauty standards and encourages embracing indigenous features. She emphasizes the importance of staying true to our roots and not feeling the need to conform to beauty trends of other cultures. She also discusses the significance of self-love and taking care of oneself. The host shares personal experiences and offers advice on maintaining a positive body image and practicing self-care. She urges listeners to appreciate their own unique beauty and reminds them that image is important in how others perceive and treat us. Ultimately, she encourages embracing individuality and loving oneself. What's up, primas? Welcome back to Doña Fresa. Thank you for listening, and today's episode is on exploring Latina beauty standards, embracing our indigenous features. But let's take it to the beginning, to our ancestors, right? Back then, we're Mexica, that's our ancestors, Aztecs, Mayans, Zapotec, whatever your indigenous background is, we all had different types of beauty standards that we come from. Like, my culture, we're Mexica, so we have always loved gold. My mom's always had me in gold. I don't really wear a lot of silver, because that's just my preference. There is a lot of silver in Mexico, where we're from, Acapulco. But we have to go back to just being true to our roots, to our ancestors, because beauty, we are beautiful, and we don't have to look like a different race, or do their makeup trends, or whatever, to feel beautiful. We should just embrace our own roots, and just use that and glow. But yeah, don't think that, yeah, it's good as a makeup artist. I love different types of makeup, different cultural makeup, they're beautiful. But there's a difference. You can try to be like that, or just enjoy the beauty of the art itself, because it's art, it's all art. Like some Latinas like to, like some Latinas like to, they're super dark skin, and they wanna go super blonde, and it turns yellow on them, and it's like, okay, do the colors, do the vivids. Everybody does all these, we go through stages. So women, we change our hair, because we went through a breakup, or we're starting a new job, or we're trying to reinvent ourselves. We go through so many changes when we're coloring our hair. But we have to meet somewhere in the middle. Like don't try to be blonde if you know that you're super dark. Or don't try to be, like I try to go super dark hair, and I felt like it washed me out, like it wasn't me. So I started brightening it up, and brightening it up, and now I'm red. Well, orangey red, brassy, whatever it is. But I'm happy with my hair color, and I was going through a transition to myself, so I understand where we wanna just, but just don't fuck up your hair, like trying to look like a different culture. That's what I mean. I'm not saying don't dye your hair, don't do this. I encourage it. Dye your hair, whatever makes you feel more beautiful. But just don't try to change yourself to look like a different culture, like embrace your beauty, because we're all beautiful. God would have made us all the same. He would have made us all one color, the same everything. Imagine living in a world like that. Just close your eyes, and imagine living in a world where everybody looked alike. There was no sense of fashion, there was no style, there was no music, there was no color. Imagine that world. It would be so boring and lame, right? So God wanted to create a prism of colors, of different types of colored humans, and we're all the same color on the inside, but just on the outside, everybody's a different shape, you know, faces, cheeks, eyes, everything. Some have more hair than others, some have less hair. We're all so different, and that's the beauty of it. That's the beauty of living on this earth, on this realm, because we're all beautiful. In our own ways, like, everybody just likes spiritual gifts. That's a different beauty. But yeah, I'm not encouraging you to go and eat all the food that you want, and get fat, or whatever, don't do that. But I'm just saying, like, let's love our bodies the way we are. We're skinny, we're skinny. If we were thick, we're thick. And if we were skinny, we're skinny. And if we were fat, we're fat. And if we were skinny, we're skinny. And if we were skinny, we're skinny. And if we were skinny, we're skinny. And if we were skinny, we're skinny. And if we were skinny, we're skinny. And if we were skinny, we're skinny. And if we were skinny, we're skinny. And if we were skinny, we're skinny. And if we were skinny, we're skinny. And if we were skinny, we're skinny. And if we were skinny, we're skinny. And if we were skinny, we're skinny. We have nicknames for each other. And that's why I don't believe that in our culture, there is some bullying that can go overboard in our culture. But we grew up being called flaca, or gordita, or gordis, or this and that. And we just learned to have such thick skin and not care. But just embracing our bodies. And if I'm going to be 140 pounds, I'm going to be 140 pounds. If in the winter, I'm going to gain some weight, I'm going to gain the weight. Because as long as I'm eating healthy, and I'm doing... But sometimes we also have to put in the fact that women over 30 are getting ready to be... It's like 10 years of preparing your body to be 40. I didn't know this thing. I didn't know any of these things until I'm going through it now. My skin was skin clear. Like a baby's always. As soon as I hit like 32, 33, I was like, what the hell? My skin started getting drier. I started getting like a pimple here and there. And it was out of control. And I'm allergic to peanuts now. Like, what the hell? I love peanuts. Con chile. The ones with the chilito, the powder. Those are so good. But I can't have them. I love them, but I start breaking out. I don't know why. I'm lactose intolerant. I didn't even know that. I've ate ice cream and quesadillas. I lived off quesadillas my whole childhood. I ate quesadillas every night, I think. I'm still here. But just doing those things and just putting into perspective that we don't have to look... As a makeup artist, I always encourage you to love yourself the way that you look. Always enhance what you have. And it does take a little money here and there. Buying some products, some mascara, some contouring stuff. But you're investing in your face, in your self-image, the way you see yourself and the way people perceive you, too. Because image is everything, guys. I don't know how to stress it enough. As a makeup artist of 19 plus years, image is everything. My dad has the same. My dad had his tailor shop. He was a tailor his whole life. And he would always say, the way that you look is the way that they treat you. But he would say it in Spanish. Como te ven, te tratan. And literally, that has stuck in my head since I was a child. My dad's always dressed in slacks and dress shoes and a polo or a guayabera because that's what we wore, what men wear back home in Acapulco, guayabera. If you don't know what that is, look it up. But yeah, image is everything. And in the Latina community, we do like to look a certain way. We like to fix our lashes and our eyebrows. And we like to fix our hair. Mostly, most of our girls in our culture, we have long hair. That Indian hair, full. And people, no se envidian. People of other races, they're like, man, I love your hair. They always think my hair is a wig. I was getting my hair done the other day and there was this lady next to me and she had really short hair, very fine, short hair. And the girl, the stylist, was getting ready to put some extensions on her. And I was just looking at her and she kept looking at me and I was kind of like, okay, what does she want? But I understand because I'm a little psychic and a little psycho too. I kind of felt her vibe, like, okay, she loves my hair, I get it. Because my stylist was just like flopping my hair up and down trying to dry it and all this stuff but people, they envy our features, our hair, the way that we are, our attitude, that toxica latina that we are sometimes. It's in our DNA. We just have that. We have that attitude. Even when we try to be nice, it just comes out sometimes. It's in our DNA. We can't explain it. We like to dress up, we like to wear heels, we like to wear skirts and dresses and do our red lips with our eyeliner. That's what I grew up on. When I grew up, my mom, if I show you guys pictures of my mom, that lady, she had her liner done, she had her mascara, her lashes all done and everything. Not fake lashes, her own and her red lipstick. She was always like in a tight little skirt, like a pencil skirt. My mom always had a nice little body like a coke shaped bottle body. She always looked good. She always smelled nice. I always grew up around that. As a child, you want to look like your mom or copy your mom because you want to impress her. I always wanted to do my makeup and I always wanted to look nice. I went through this tomboy stage in elementary, junior high where I would just wear t-shirts and shorts and that's what my daughter wears right now. Karma, right? I didn't want to wear no spaghetti straps. I started wearing spaghetti straps until I was in 10th grade. I was still like I don't know, I just felt like fat arms. I don't know, you gotta come check them out. Anyways, don't feel like it can all lead back to mental health. Eating disorders, body dysmorphia, all this anxiety, poor body image. I know que nos gustan los tacos, los tamales, las tortas y los taquitos but we have to eat in moderation guys. Our culture when we cook, we like to eat and we just stuff ourselves but we can't do that. We gotta have self-control just like everything like alcohol or smoking or whatever. You gotta have some self-control in everything you do in life but I want you guys to look at yourself today in the mirror and just say three good things to yourself that you love about yourself and do this and do a self-love affirmation, something like I love myself, I'm grateful for my face, I'm grateful for my beautiful eyes, I love my hair and just do those exercises in the morning when you're getting ready or when you have a chance to just stop and look at yourself for a few minutes like two minutes and do that for yourself because if you don't do that for yourself nobody's gonna do it for you the way that you treat yourself is the way that others are going to treat you so if you don't take care of yourself if you don't have any type of self-love how are you supposed to receive from the universe? how are you supposed to receive love if you can't yourself cultivate it for yourself you know the true love guys is loving ourselves because if we don't feel our own love meter how can we give love to other people how can we show love to our children how can we show love to our partners to our parents if we ourselves don't love ourselves don't take time to love ourselves I know everybody's busy doing live trying to survive on survival mode but just take a few minutes and love on yourself treat yourself to something you know go buy yourself an elote go buy yourself some chicharrones something, un mango con chile um but treat yourself, love yourself I invite you to go when you want to do this you know, get some time where you don't have the kids where you just okay, you're going to go and you're going to make a reservation at the most expensive restaurant you've ever wanted to go to and you're going to go in there and you're going to eat by yourself you're going to treat yourself to that meal and being in that same atmosphere um will attract more days like that I can promise you that and do your makeup do your hair don't look like you're going to a club but look semi luxurious um, I don't know if that's even a term but it is in my world um, just dress, like a sundress some little flats you know, do your hair um do like, you're just a plain not like super lashes but like maybe a few lashes like mascara and all that wear a red lip and then just do a simple makeup and go sit there and enjoy a meal treat yourself to the entree the the main dish and buy yourself dessert and just sit there have a drink if you want I'm not a big drinker um, but just have like a dessert and just enjoy it and sit there just watch people watch I love to people watch um, but you know just enjoy yourself and take a time to yourself and just regroup yourself that's the way that I do it guys because sometimes being a mom and trying to do my career and trying to be at home and do home things and chores you know, pay bills try to keep the house cleaned up and all this stuff it takes a toll on me so I know our parents, our mothers didn't do it growing up in a Latina household our moms just worked, worked and just gave their all to their kids and to their husbands and to everybody else but themselves and now they're all chupadas, greñudas they don't take care of themselves I'm not speaking for everybody but for some if you can relate, this is for you um, and don't don't take care of themselves their image, their hair they don't get their nails done not even a manicure there has to be something because we're energy we're like energy we're energy beings we're not like we are energy beings we are vessels of energy so we are imagine a lightbulb a lightbulb comes you're sucking light from that one lightbulb and you're sucking from that lightbulb you're sucking from that lightbulb if all these people are sucking from that lightbulb it's going to go out, right? it's going to die so literally, that's what's happened to most of our moms our grandmas our tías in our culture so the millennials and above we're here to change that cycle and love ourselves so we're able to give more of ourselves to others and we're able to replenish that energy we have to view it as energy exchange we're giving energy but we're not receiving any so if we're giving a bunch of energy and people are just sucking from us how are we surviving? how are you surviving every day? we get burnt out that's when people that's when ladies end up on Snap on the 11 o'clock news like a wife killed her husband because blah blah blah she snapped on him yes because we are just so silent and we're just so proud sometimes to even speak up or shy or whatever it is that we are and these men these kids these friends are energy vampires they just come suck the life out of you it's like we gotta cut that out we can't be doing that over and over and over again we keep doing all these things that our mothers and fathers and grandmas and grandpas did back then we need to stop that and we need to reset because it's ridiculous I want to give more pour more into my children this time around I don't want my kids to be like oh my mom didn't spend time with us my mom did this blah blah blah and I tell them pa que no andan chingando que no juego con ustedes que no los saco, que no los compro so here we go but going back to it take care of yourself do some self love affirmations take yourself out on a date fix your makeup up if you're looking at the mirror and you're like you don't like that person change her you can change anytime any day of the week you want you can just flip your reality but you need to see it we're visual, we're human we need to see it to believe it a lot of people but that's the way our mind works so if we can trick our mind even when you're feeling down like when you're feeling sick when you have the flu or you have the strep throat if you put your makeup on that day that you're feeling sick you put your makeup on I can clearly guarantee you that at the end of the day when you're done to take off the makeup you already feel a little better because you already tricked your mind into looking at yourself in the mirror like oh you're fine you psychologically helped yourself heal faster but yeah that's stuff that we gotta explore as latinas we're very spiritual and we believe in menjurjes and all these recipes doing all these beauty secrets I had a friend her tia used to we were little we lived in LA and her tia used to have this egg and mayonnaise mask this lady wore it religiously she would go over to her tia's house and her tia was doing the egg and mayonnaise mask on her head I just thought it was weird you know but when you're growing up and you hear all these recetas like beauty secret like hispanic beauty secret or like crema that our tia's or grandma's have used forever and they're wrinkly but yeah I want to reiterate do not stop loving yourself always put yourself first don't let nobody take you down because if we allow other people to feel for us like if they're able to change our temperament just by some little words that they may say to us they're winning because we're allowing them our power, we're giving them control over us we're controlling our emotions so no, don't do that so if you're going through some crazy situation right now too hang in there and we all go through seasons and we all go through ugly phases where we don't want to fix ourselves or we just want to lay in bed and just not do nothing with life, it's okay to do that sometimes just not too long don't get stuck there, you gotta keep moving and just sit there and like you gotta move you gotta move your ass alright, I love you guys and I hope you guys got something and I'll catch you guys on the next episode