Audioreel (DJ Sousveillance Sketch)

Okay, thank you, Brian, for that fascinating and puzzling libertarian fan fiction. Of course, there's another segment of that to come, another story and final reveal. Stay tuned for that. Also coming up, we have an NPR-style live storytelling from Brian Platt as well. Up next, a very important conversation with our friend Carl, who was recently in the West Bank and met the people there, got to see what their daily life is like, and I think you will enjoy hearing about that. But first, hang on. Yep, it's that time to tune in to the radio. Hi, Brian. No, don't say anything. You're going to listen. I'm T.J. Suzdalans, host of Yonic Boom on KHUH, low power, Seattle, Washington, 104.9 FM, Hello Earth Radio, Seattle's least commercial radio station. I know, I know, you hate music. I mean, I know your type. You probably do like the same four bands you've been listening to since 1997 in secret. But Brian, I also know you're getting nervous. You have mere weeks to get your Spotify wrapped in order. December is coming up fast, and it's going to be so embarrassing. I'm sure Chewy Shreks will booster street cred with Texas Press Bunks, but is that really enough? Or something you'd want? What you need is a consultant. You think Obama just checks his most played every summer and puts that on the internet? No. He has music consultants, also known as DJs. I'm going to be your Spotify wrapped consulting DJ. I've curated a few songs to get the process started. I think they will protect the image you should be going for into 2024. New Brian. But they also have to be believable. Be your new me. Which means on some level, just like Obama, you have to believe in them too. I'm going to play you some songs. Then you tell us what you think. Oh no. First, a classic. You're Tejano, right? As you people say. Anything for Selena. She's a little dancing. I should have this on vinyl. Hey Brian, that one sounds like a winner. What do you think? It's never going to make my Spotify playlist. I actually listen to it on vinyl on my record player. I do have the best of Selena double album. I think maybe Obama is her biggest sort of poppy hit. Although I do think Santa Fe is maybe the better of the ones. There's enough Selena for everybody. Everybody can pick a piece. Funny story about the song. The first time I took Brenda Fiesta, which is like a big outdoor party, I took her to this live music event they have called Oyster Bank. She was very excited because there was a Selena cover band playing. We go to watch them. They're playing. Everybody keeps yelling out. It's like we're going to get to it, guys. We're going to get to it. I promise. Let's keep going. Let's keep going. I'm kind of looking at my watch. I'm like they're going to get to it. They play a song. People call out like all right. I think it's time. We're going to do it. Then their mics all got cut. No. Then some guy came out who was like in the festival gear or whatever came out. You see them all kind of like looking confused at each other and stuff like that. Then they just start slowly packing their shit up. No. They waited too long. They overspent. Oh, my goodness. Festivals have to be on their shit. They've got to keep it moving. That is wild. Yeah. I mean, the crowd, let's just say, immediately got hostile. Of course. Of course they did. Went from beloved to hated in seconds. Oh, my God. Okay. Well, so it sounds like DJ Susveillance has maybe earned your trust a little here, but I'm still sensing that, you know, for this to work, you know, it's going to require buy-in from you. If you want to not be embarrassed by your Spotify rap, you know. Probably too late on that one. You've got a few weeks. You need to start cranking. You need to grind some of these songs in order to have, you know, a good rap. Well, I am kind of encouraged by the fact that if I think, if I listen to any single album twice, it will show up on there as a top artist. Low bar. Perfect. This one is fresh, new, for the zoomers and the old rusting punks alike. This song will also show you listeners that you're in fact a feminist, racist, sexist boy. They're very punk and adorable. That one reminds me very much of the, I guess, early mid nineties Portland scene groups, like seven year bitch and stuff like that. But again, it's like an artist that I love those guys. I love them. I love them. I love them. I love them. I love them. I love them. I love them. I love them. I love them. I love them. So again, it's like an artist that I love those guys. And, and I actually have them on CD. How ancient that is. So I don't know if they've ever shown, well, actually, I literally no way to listen to CDs anymore. So I guess if I'm going to listen to them now, it would have to be on, on Spotify, but can I make room for another artist that just sounds like something that came out better and more original 20 years ago? Yeah, sure. Why not? Okay. We're getting that buy-in. Ryan, you're a cosmopolitan. You're wrapped to show it. Time to challenge yourself. French music song in Spanish is the next wave. I love them. Barking up the wrong. Ryan. French music song in Spanish is the next wave. I love them. Barking up the wrong. Ryan. French music song in Spanish. There is a French version. I believe this is going to work for you. I was actually kind of racking my brain. Your head was banging. Your toe was starting to tap, you know? Yeah. I could almost picture you in the glove. Yeah. I'm not the biggest fan of Euro pop for the most part. This song, I was actually, I was racking my brain to think if there's any French artists I like. I'm not entirely sure. Although it does remind me of the early days of Tony Pacquiao. And he had released a, I think we definitely talked about this. He had released a rap album in French, which is fucking terrible. Sucks. And it's hard to explain or overstate how much people in San Antonio love the Spurs. Like if the Spurs told everyone in San Antonio to drink Kool-Aid and die, they would, right? And even the goofball, just absolute most mediocre, you know, drive time zoo DJs that we had in San Antonio were ragging on this fucking album. They used to like play it coming in from the break. And they would just like, because he had this whole thing where he was like, Tony Pacquiao, best white jizzle in the M-Bizarre. They'd just play that. They'd just like die laughing in the background. And I, you know, I'd like to think that was an aberration of French music. But the more I hear French music, I think that's just what it is. No, I think that's really what it was. Yeah. Yeah. They love Jamie Lewis and they love terrible pop music. Wow. Okay. So this one, a bit too much of a challenge for Brian. Not willing to expand his horizons, even in the name of his brand, you know, appealing to the youth, showing a more cosmopolitan side of himself. Although it did remind me, actually, just in my brain, lightning strike. There is one French album I do like. Less Miserables. Okay. Well, DJ Supervalence, those are two recs for you. Check out that San Antonio Spurs guy's record. I'm sure you can get it on Spotify. Buy it on iTunes for shits and gigs. Yeah, he needs the help. Come on. I don't think that's what housewives, gals married. Oh, no. Oh, no. A French guy, single. Oh, no. That's their worst nightmare. Next selection are obvious industry plans. Everyone knows their industry plans. But by listening to the industry plans, people will think you're down to earth, a man of the people. Like you listen to KXP. Here's Wet Leg, and here's Love. Brian's looking very depressed right now. Shaking his head. I'm glad you're ready to get that big D. You can empathize with this. Like, you know, this is a song, as far as I can tell, about the the futility of higher education, the struggles you've been. Come on. You actually, nobody knows what the status of Brian's grad school education is. It's like a secret. He guards like, but, but I don't think he has a PhD. I think these guys could send to go back to music class. Class is in session. I feel like Munya did a similar thing after an episode one night where he was like, oh, listen to all these artists and every one of them. And look, I'll give Andrea credit. All of Munya's artists, they were like aspiring to this, but we're even more terrible. I understand that this is very popular with the kids. The sound, I don't know what you would even like, how to describe it. Other than what is this called? I mean, surf indie, I guess that that that that guitar, like, you know, that bass guitar, so it sounds like noodling to me. Like, this is when you first get a guitar and you can play two notes and you're just going, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,