Nothing to say, yet
Transcription
Two semi-trucks collided on the interstate, causing damage to nearby cars. A middle schooler saved a six-year-old from an aggressive dog and was taken to the hospital with minor injuries. The co-anchors argue and the broadcast ends abruptly. KSL News is hiring for a new co-anchor. Good morning, everybody. Welcome to your 7 a.m. KSL news. I'm your co-anchor Thomas Hanks. And I'm your other co-anchor Felicia Gomez. How are you feeling today, Thomas? I was feeling great until you started talking. That's awesome, Thomas. You want to hear one of my stories from last night? Not at all. We have breaking news to get out of the way first. This just in, two semi-trucks just collided into one another and took out four other nearby cars on the interstate. Please look for other routes to take to work this morning. So sad for those semi-trucks. That reminds me of this one time when my friend bumped into this cute guy at the mall and dropped all of our pretzel pies. Shut up, Felicia. This is way different. Anyways, this middle schooler is being recognized as a hero after saving a six-year-old from an aggressive dog. The dog's breed was identified as a boxer and the middle schooler pushed the six-year-old into safety after noticing the dog charging at the child. The middle schooler was taken into the hospital with minor injuries, thankfully. What a good kid. I'm sure they had a great boxing match. That reminds me of this one time when there was this lady at the bar and she was talking to my man. And oh my gosh, that turned into a UFC headline. I was like... We'll be right back after this short commercial break. Why don't you ever want to hear my stories, Thomas? They're so funny. Because we were trying to do the news, not have a darn tea party talking about your friends and their drama. Oh, I love tea parties. You want to hear about one of my tea parties I had last weekend? This is exactly what I'm talking about. You are never staying on track with the news. You are always trying to change the subject to something that does not matter at this time. Oh my goodness, how could you say that? My tea parties do matter. You know what doesn't matter? Your alcohol addiction. What did you just say? You heard me. At least I can still be on point with the news when I'm drunk. You are sober and still suck at your job. We are live in 3, 2, 1... My youngest daughter does a better job at staying on task than you do. And she is 10 with ADHD. You know what? I need to go smoke. Um, Thomas, we are live. Crap. Hey, everybody. We are back to you with some more breaking news. Felicia doesn't know how to do her darn job right. Shut up, Thomas. You're so old you don't even remember what you had for breakfast this morning. I know exactly what I had for breakfast. I had a cup of get out of my building with a side of get lost or fired. You know what? I will leave. You don't know what you guys are going to miss out on. Wait, before I go, does anybody see if this is lunch time? Get out of the building, lady! Oh, sorry. Well, thank you guys for watching KSL News. We are now hiring if you would like to apply for a co-anchor. I am going to go take a smoke break.
