BJJ Executive Podcast - Episode 22 - Dan O'Leary

The podcast episode is a special one honoring a member of the Texas jiu-jitsu community named Daniel O'Leary. The podcast focuses on the struggle to balance careers, families, and jiu-jitsu practice. The host and guest discuss their own experiences with finding balance and the importance of gratitude. They also talk about their training routines and challenges they have faced. The guest, Daniel O'Leary, shares his perspective on Flower Mound, a town in Texas where he has lived for many years. Welcome to the BJJ Executive Podcast, Episode 22. I'm your host, Dave Kroll. If you enjoy the podcast and wish to support us, please do so by liking and sharing our content on social media and by leaving a review on whichever platform you're listening from. The BJJ Executive Podcast is proudly partnered with The Map Mission, a nonprofit organization charged with spreading jiu-jitsu through communities in need and providing mentorship and leadership to the youth within those communities. To get involved with The Map Mission, please follow our Instagram page, The Map Mission, our website, themapmission.org, or feel free to message me directly. Today, in a very special episode, I'm joined by Jiu-Jitsu Black Belt, Ryan Kramer, from Episode 5 of the podcast, as we honor a member of the Texas jiu-jitsu community, Mr. Daniel O'Leary. This podcast, as a whole, was founded on the seemingly indisputable reality that our careers, our families, and, of course, our jiu-jitsu practice are in a constant struggle for balance. And the fulcrum, I guess, of this balance is time. And this leads many of us, myself included, to hurry, hurrying through life. We rush through the phases of life, and so rarely do we have the opportunity to pause that if we're not careful, we look up to the fleeting shadow of yet another of life's precious moments just drifting away. And it makes me realize that gratitude is a gift. And it's not only a gift to others, but it's a gift to ourselves. And it is a gift that, in part, has been given to me by men such as Dan O'Leary, who selflessly give of their time and their energy, putting others first with no outward expectation in return. Dan is the type of man that will offer encouragement. He'll offer prayer. And in today's episode, his wisdom. As always, thank you for listening and for making this a part of your jiu-jitsu journey. And as I always say, welcome to mine. Enjoy the episode. How are you doing, Kramer? Man, I'm awesome. Kramer, I got to get that right. Last time I called you Ryan, which was awkward. You and J.P. Dineau are the few people that call me Ryan. Does he still call you Ryan? He does, and it's always awkward. Does he know that that's... It's not a faux pas. It's not even frowned upon. It is actually your name, but it's caused a few of us to take a couple steps back. It's too formal. It is. If you know me, I'm not very formal. Maybe we should call you Mr. Ryan. Or Kramer for short. Kramer for short. Okay, so just to clarify, your name is Ryan Kramer? It is, yeah. Why can't you just call me Kramer Kramer? You were actually on an earlier episode. You're back here today to give me a hand with a very special episode. But first, how's your training been? What training, man? That answers that question. Exactly. Right now, look, seasons. And I said this very much on... I think I reiterated this several times on our podcast back in January of 2023. Hard to believe. It's on this holiday. Jiu-jitsu is always going to be there. I think I was telling myself that more than anybody, because now I'm in a season of life that I'm not getting to train a whole lot of jiu-jitsu with work and family, taking precedent over jiu-jitsu. I don't train much. I'm probably getting in two to three times a month right now, which is not enough. And I don't feel like it's the best example of a black belt, but it is and it isn't. This whole podcast started with balance. Do you remember the intro episode? I mean, you would because you were one of the OGs, I suppose, of the podcast where I recorded this intro and it was in order to present it to guys like yourself, because I didn't have any episodes to show you. And so, hey, I'd love for you to participate, but before I ask you to participate, I want you to feel comfortable about what the message is. And it was all about, hey, you got a career, you have family, and then, man, we've tried to stay in the game. So, I don't know. You're saying that you're not a good example. You might be the perfect example, but we'll go in that direction. I still have my old tricks in the bag that I kind of keep. I know a few of them, though. I know a few. I teach everybody how to get through my stuff, not whether they can stop it. That's the beauty of it. That's when you really get a good trick. So, what about your workouts, though? You're still doing your hero workouts at Zero Dark 30? I'm still doing all that. I heard a bad rumor that you started this running challenge this month. Is it true? Yeah, it is true, the September running challenge. So, I was like, all right, this is a challenge I'm going to put out for myself. I was going to do this in July, Dave. Oh, that would have been a really good initiative. Very poor judgment. Yeah, but I turned 41, and I was like, I'm going to start running again. I think our guest is rolling his eyes at your age. Oh, I'm 41 now. I'm old. I've got to start running again. So, anyway, I was having some hip issues because of what you used to do back then. I was like, all right, well, I'll push this back. So, the September running challenge seemed like the best time to start this thing. I was going to do a mile a day for the first week, two miles a day for the second week, three miles a day for the third, four miles a day for the fourth. That wasn't a great idea. I got into maybe day nine, day 10, and I kind of hyperextended my left knee running downhill trying to be too fast and beat these young guys at the office that told me that I couldn't run faster than them, and I haven't run since. That was a bad strategy, by the way. We're at the end of the month now, and I haven't run in several weeks. So, if I choose to take on another challenge like that, I'll be a little bit smarter. You could do a rowing challenge. I could just walk. You could. Yeah, you could walk. It'd still be more than not training jujitsu. But, yeah, I'm still out in the gym. I'm still doing my early morning workouts. What do we call this? The Kramer Lab? The Kramer Lab. Yeah, four or five days a week. We can. I ought to get a sign for the wall. I know an attorney. Do you? Yeah. Let's go. Let's do it. All right. It's done. The Kramer Lab. The Kramer Lab. Yeah. You're welcome. Come one, come all. Well, for those joining, when we put this podcast together, including having Kramer on in the earlier episode, I mean, this is all about sort of extracting the clues that success leaves behind. So you bring guests on and everybody's got a different journey. Everybody's got a different perspective. And the objective here is really to enhance your jujitsu longevity and become a supplement to your training, because not everything is about going hard, especially if you're going to be in this game for a long time. And different perspectives provide different pieces of value to different people. Timing is everything. And some people need to hear different types of things at different times. And so today we've got a very special guest. And this is one of those instances that I couldn't think of a better person than Kramer to bring on to help me honor this person. But for those that have been in Double Five, those that have been in the DFW scene, you've probably seen this young whippersnapper floating around the gym, floating around the competition scene, floating around the different charitable events that we've got going. But Mr. Dan O'Leary is joining us today. So Dan, thank you so much for carving on a few minutes and cruising over to your neighboring city of Flower Mound. You're welcome. I'm having a great time already. Well, you got to kind of chop it up a bit with us ahead of time. You got to make a new best friend with my little puppy and experience the best kind of Okinawan coffee that there is in Flower Mound. So hopefully everything is kicking off to the right start. Yes, sir. It sure is. So you're not that far away though, right? I mean, this is kind of a neighborhood drive over. About 20 minutes from Louisville. Okay. It's not too bad. You've got, what's so funny is that like, so I moved to Flower, obviously, you know, we know a little bit about Kramer's background and he's been in the area for a long time. I'm a relative rookie, I suppose. I moved here five or six years ago. I moved here from South Florida in 2018. But Flower Mound historically has been nothing but, you know, probably a couple of goat farms and, you know, a trail of tears in a lot of different ways for pioneers and settlers and whatnot. And then now you look around and those farms are gone, those ranches are gone. But you might have a perspective that could actually, you know, bridge some of those gaps for us non-native Flower Mounders because you've been here for quite some time. My wife and I were here in 1978. 1978. Not 1878. 1978. And moved to Louisville. And Louisville High School was the only high school in town. And the Fightin' Farmers were probably a rightfully so named mascot back then, I suppose. They were. And they had a water tower on the highway. They've had to take it down because of the highway extension now. But what they would do when the farmers won on Friday night, they'd light up a little light bulb on the top of that tower and everybody in town knew that they had won that game that night. So it was pretty exciting there. The young people from the colony were bused over to Louisville High School and then they built the Colony High School. And, of course, then our beloved Marcus was opened and the rivalry between those two schools. My wife and I would attend many of those games where the axe was exchanged. I had no idea. Oh, yes. Wonderful history. They still continue to do that. And then our other beloved school, Flower Mound High School, came to town. And lots of rivalry, lots of growth. And everything else in between. I actually didn't know any of that history. I always thought of the colony as a new, I don't know, basically a new development. I didn't even know the colony was like a real city. We're in the middle of high school football season now. And I grew up in a little bitty small town. I know what it's like. My hometown was very much Friday night lights. If you're going to rob a bank, Friday night's the night to do it because everybody's there. Was it like that back then here? I guess back then they would have been somewhat small towns, right? Yes. And the schools then would have been 5A. Of course, there's 6A now. 5A would have been the highest division. But Marcus was 5A, Louisville 5A, the Colony. And it became quite a rivalry with those three schools so close. And now we also have Hebron High School, which is over near the Colony. But that's also part of Louisville Independent School District. So Hebron has also become a rival in this Louisville Independent School District. And do you still go to these games? I do. In fact, just last week, I went to the Louisville game. And I visit the principal and I pray with their principal, Jim Baker in Louisville High School. And I have friends in the band. And they know me like you've mentioned earlier. And they saw me sitting with a rowdy crowd at the Louisville game. And the band area was kind of off limits. But a band director came and said, Dan, would you like to come sit with us? So they let me come sit with them. And they beat Flower Mound. Oh, good for them. I mean, I can't say that I'm sad to hear that. My son graduated from Marcus. And we never got into the rivalry or whatnot, except for wrestling, which was actually a really big deal. I mean, I didn't realize that those guys had such a rivalry outside of that. But one of the things that's kind of unique about Louisville ISD is that there's like six or seven high schools now. And so it's created this web of sort of, I don't know if you would say bureaucracy, but it's made it really tough to get things done because the school district is so big. It's massive. Yes, sir. Like I grew up in St. Louis, and we had just individual school districts for whatever part of town you lived in. There's definitely consequences and a lot of like kind of walls that get put up as a result of that approach. But I'm just not used to this kind of massive, huge public school system that we've got here. Dave, it's interesting. If you go to a certain part of northeast Louisville, it's kind of elevated there. And if all three schools are playing in their home gym, you can see all three stadium lights from that setting. So to have three 6A high schools so close, it's really amazing. It tells you the growth of this area. Yeah, that's something else. Now, we want to get into your background a little bit. So I don't want to skip ahead too much. But, you know, we're on the topic of education here. And I know that you've recently retired. And you were, correct me if I'm wrong, but the principal of a local school here, either in Flower Mound or in the Louisville area. Yeah, it was in Flower Mound, Grace Christian Academy. Grace Christian Academy. And that's K through 12? It's K through 12. Yes. And right now, they have 120 students enrolled, which is a plump enrollment for our school, for our building. Okay, wow. I was always amazed. I remember talking to you a little bit about this, but I was always amazed that we didn't find a way to come up with some like, what would the word be, skill sharing or intramural jujitsu or something along those lines. As much time as you've spent on our mats, it's just, I always felt like it would have been inevitable. So hopefully, with you retiring, that doesn't put that spark out. We'll have to find some way to connect the dots and get some mats over there and then get some Grace Christian gi's made and then go from there. Well, Dave and Kramer, you know the value of this sport and the self-confidence it builds in young people. Self-confidence is not a common denominator with young people much more. Ladies and men, boys and girls, they need to have something that tells them they have value and I've seen that this sport does that. Yeah, that's true. I couldn't agree more. Couldn't agree more. Kramer, when did you first meet Dan? Oh, goodness. I met Dan at Double Five Highland Village. Dan, what has it been? Probably a year and a half. It's been... It's close to two years, Kramer. Yes, sir. You're better at remembering than I am. A couple of years ago, maybe just after training, you introduced yourself and you were there taking photos and supporting and we kind of hit it off. I obviously saw the passion you had for the sport, while maybe not a practitioner yourself, but I could tell that you're a cheerleader of the sport. I use that term lightly, cheerleader, but just the support that you provide, I saw that right away. I could tell you're a man of God as well, which was important to me. You've been just a steady encouragement for me since we met a couple years ago and that's kind of how we've developed our relationship. I know we'll talk more about the role you play in the community that is just this constant source of encouragement. I thought it was just for me, selfishly, but I've learned since getting to know you and the more that I'm out in the Jiu-Jitsu community, I realized that you do that for everyone. So I want to get into later. Later, I want to get into, one, where do you find the energy to do all this and do you provide that same level of encouragement and support for other communities, which no spoiler alert here, but I went to your retirement service that you had at Grace Christian. I was so honored to be a part of that and to get to hear the stories from so many people there that were both members of the church or former students or even your family members. The Dan that we know and love in the Jiu-Jitsu community is the same Dan that they know and love in all their various communities. So I can't wait to talk more about that because I was very touched by being there and seeing that and hearing very similar stories to the story I would tell about you. So it's pretty awesome the impact that you made on so many lives and I'm excited to learn more about your why, which is probably the core of why you do what you do. And so hopefully we'll get into that today too. Kareem, if I could just compliment what you said. I love the word you used, cheerleader. I take the pictures, I take the videos, but my love, my cheerleading, my encouragement isn't for the pictures, it's for the person. So Kareem, when we first met and I visited you, took pictures of you, you were the only one that existed in that gym at that moment. Everything was for you. Then I move on to others as well, but it was very personal. But it wasn't that I was taking pictures that is my gift, it's the gift of encouraging you. I wanted you to know that you were valuable and special, so special someone's going to video me and send it to me to help me. And that's my life. I love that. I like that too. I had a similar experience and a similar recollection, except when I first met you, Dan, actually I didn't meet you, I just observed. I saw there's this guy that's in the gym and I actually thought you were the landlord or the building owner. And then as that theory started to prove itself wrong, I was like, well, he's somebody's father or something, because why would this person be here otherwise? Why would you be spending your time? Why would you be investing energy into what clearly was trying to be an encourager, trying to be a part of the gym and everything. And then at some point, all of those theories were proven wrong and you and I had a conversation and he said, well, I'm Dan O'Leary. I'm like, oh, okay. And he said, well, look, sometimes I'll take some video and I've been told video helps with maybe troubleshooting or whatnot with your techniques. I'm like, absolutely. And so we exchanged numbers and this helps paint a picture for people that aren't in the Double Five community or aren't in DFW and haven't had a chance to meet you. But essentially that has been kind of how you've become at least introduced to a lot of people. And you volunteer your time to come in, introduce yourself to a variety of different people in our gym. And it isn't all high level guys like Kramer. There's brand new people that have just begun and you'll spend three or four minutes each night with one of these people and you'll video them. And then as time goes on and as you have the opportunity to later on, you'll send this in a nice package to us. And I can tell you for me, those encouraging texts that I'll get, it'll be a picture of maybe myself and a friend or something. And just so you know, those come at times when it just feels like it was the right time to get that text or that right time to get that message. And it just hits at the moment when it kind of knocks the cobwebs out. Because sometimes you know how it is. We get the little gremlins up in the head that'll start rattling trash cans around and throwing some bad energy out there. And then all of a sudden I'll see man, there's somebody out there that actually really cares a lot and cares enough. And to get some of those messages, they've been just so encouraging and have been spread out beyond that. Because I send the videos out to friends as well and say, look, this is the sweep I was telling you about or whatever the case may be. And so that's how I first met you. And I'm sure a lot of people have a similar experience with that. Well Dave, you and Kramer are very young. I am 72. This is awesome. On this podcast, I'm going to take that clip and I'm going to be sending it around. You and Kramer are very young. Hey, Dan said it. Dan said it. In the gym, we feel like some of the old guys. We're in our 40s and I feel like an old guy training with guys at half our age and twice the energy. They train Jiu Jitsu all the time. We come in there and they just want to take our heads off. Gentlemen, I've seen you throw people up to the ceiling. So you're young people. But being older, I've been through so many things, the ups and downs of life. And so if I can share my experiences with the things I've learned, then I'm very fulfilled with doing that. That's amazing. And that's part of the objective today. And I think that Jiu Jitsu is a lot more than those hard rounds. Kramer and I were just joking with each other, obviously, about this particular season right now. We're only getting a couple rounds in a week or we're only training once or twice a week or once or whatever. And Jiu Jitsu is a lot more than just, can I go every day? The lifestyle element of that and the intangible benefits that are surrounded by Jiu Jitsu are much more than how is that particular five minutes where I had a specific objective. I talk about yoga a lot. Yoga, to me, is basically Jiu Jitsu. That's a part of me. And it's a part of my Jiu Jitsu. And Jiu Jitsu is a part of me. The benefits that you're bringing to the table and those encouragements and whatnot, and the community element that raises up with it. I mean, to me, that's every bit as much of Jiu Jitsu as the flying arm bars and whatnot that I can no longer do and whatnot. And so we'll move on and get into your background. But I think on behalf of Kramer and myself, I mean, we both want to tell you how much that means to us and how special this moment is for us and really give you a heartfelt and sincere thanks. You're welcome. I'm honored to be here, gentlemen. And let me just say this as well. When I know gentlemen and ladies leave the gym after their workout, after they're rolling, they feel confident. That confidence carries over into the office where they're heading next. That self-assurance heads to the home that night, where there's a husband and a wife waiting. But because of the self-confidence in the individual, that is reflected into her life with love, attention. And then, of course, you have your children. So having this sport that builds self-esteem, the byproduct is that carries over into the home. And that's just a side product of what I enjoy doing. That's amazing. Maybe we should get into your background a little bit, because this is the thing we've talked a lot about. Anybody that's listening that's in Double Five knows exactly what we're talking about. And I had a few messages today that are like, wow, I cannot believe you guys are just amazing. I can't wait to hear the story. But the reality is, and this is an issue in jujitsu in general, it's an issue in any gym, where you really have to put an effort into getting to know people, even friends, even training partners that we've got, you know, where you'll have these really intimate interactions through the day. It can be difficult to get into much more than surface-level knowledge of people. And you spend a ton of time in our gym. You've had a lot of time to observe, but we don't get a chance to ask you many questions. And I know that you, I think, grew up, you said, in San Antonio. I know some pieces along the way. I know you were in South Florida for a while. Maybe set the record straight here. It sounds like you're a Texan by birth. By birth. I'm going to have a hit out on me now. Kramer and Dave, I was born and raised in San Antonio, Texas. There was not much money in our home. My mom and dad, and I have an older brother and a younger sister. And later in life, I found out that my dad would gamble on the side, and that's where we lost money. We always had food. And my parents had a home on the north side of San Antonio, which was pretty prestigious at that time, but they'd lost it because my dad's gambling. So we moved into my grandparents' house, who lived on the south side of San Antonio, near the King Williams area. We were not in the King Williams area, because those are mountains. We were just in a regular San Antonio neighborhood near Brankin Ridge High School. Because things were rough, we didn't have much, but I always remember eating. My mom and dad would go to the bars, be gone. The grandparents would take care of us. So my parents were actually alcoholics as well. Not abusive. They would fight. I remember standing between my mom and dad. I'm 10. Please don't hit her. Please don't hit him. The emotional part of that comes with that drinking. So not having much, you could have pity for yourself, but as a child, you don't understand all that until you get older. And gentlemen, I brought something here that I'm going to show you. Dave, I'm not sure if you're able to come to get this, but this is family pictures. But if you look at the, I think it's on the top right, there's a little boy on a horse. Oh my gosh. Okay, that's me. I have to put this up in the gym. And then right below, I think there's my brother and I in a Christmas present. We each got a Boy Scout. I got a Boy Scout uniform. I got a Cub Scout uniform. My brother got a Boy Scout uniform. But Tramie, you can probably see my grandparents' house, the wallpaper was coming off. There are no curtains. There's no covering over the light bulb. The light bulb is just a light bulb. We didn't have much. So I was raised poor, but we had food. Okay, so this is a foundation to what we're going into next. Okay. Because of that, I have another exhibit here. Exhibit B, we got all kinds of exhibits. This is the first time we've had a show and tell. I need to get on my prior guests. So gentlemen, because because we didn't have money, David, you can come get this as well. As I grew older, I had never gone to the dentist. And so Kramer and Dave right now have a mold of my mouth. And that's what I looked like. Okay. Until I was 23 years old. I was in Bible College when a family from the Bible College to show appreciation for what I've done for their family. They put me into braces. Okay, so so I said that I have very few pictures of me. That's why I love photography. I gotcha. That was the inspiration then. It is and I didn't hold that against God. I later in my life realized you can't change your hair color, your eye color, who your parents are. I can't change that I don't have pictures of me. I can't change that my teeth were crooked, that I would hardly talk because if I would talk you would know that I would have crooked teeth and you would make a face or walk away. So that is I was thankful for that because God had a reason. And now I understand what it is. Here's the foundation to my life. Yeah. I don't want you looking at me because you'll see how ugly I am. My life is going to be on you. So Dave and Kramer, when I'm out there, I kind of don't exist because you're the important one. You're the one that's being highlighted. And that's why I believe the Lord put me in education because the students ought to be highlighted. They ought to be encouraged. They need a cheerleader to cheer them on in their social life, academic life, emotional life. And I believe God had these things for me because later he was going to polish me and use what I didn't have to enhance others. That is the bottom line of my photography and video. Yet I'm not lifting up myself because I was ugly. Let's make you the important one in life right now. Your selflessness is, I mean, yeah, it's obviously we've both spent a lot of time with you, you know, on the mats, off the mats, visiting. And I've tried to understand your why and just where you get your source of energy and everything. I understand it now. It comes from the man upstairs. But it's really just you're living a truly selfless life and it's so admirable. And I'm even more humbled and taken back by the fact that you said yes to doing this podcast with us because it's about you and you don't want to make anything about you. So are we going to have to like cross your name out in the title of this episode? I don't want it to be about me. No, but it's important that people hear your story, Dan. And thank you so much for sharing what you're sharing with us. You know, this is pulling back the curtain on who you are and what's the intent of this episode. And I mean, it just it goes to show again, just more and more examples of your selflessness and why the jiu jitsu community loves you, needs you. And again, just yeah, thank you, man. This is this is really awesome to hear. And your selflessness is just amazing. Thank you. You're welcome. Dan, how did you end up in Hollywood, Florida at Bible College from San Antonio? You know, I mean, obviously, a lot of a lot of water would have crossed under the bridge between being that 10 year old that, you know, was was, you know, concerned that there was an issue or whatnot. And then and then finding yourself down in what must have been the Wild West. I'm going to guess this was probably the 60s or 70s, late 60s, early 70s, I suppose. I suppose if I do the math, South Florida would have wouldn't have been what it is today. Now it's, you know, I don't know, it's gone through a lot of different phases. So are we talking about the 1970s here that this is you were down in Hollywood? I graduated from Highlands High School in San Antonio in 1970. Okay. And this will come in play. I'm only saying this because you want me to. But in my high school, over 3000 students, a school like Marcus. Okay, that's a big, big one. Yeah. And I was the highest the school yearbook editor, which ties me into pictures. So God, it's always had that. Yeah, I did. I took some pictures, but mostly I edited and cropped the old fashioned way, not with a computer. So my life has always been pictures. And now I see why. Yeah. When I was about to graduate in the spring, we were working on a term paper. And back in those years, my term paper was going to be on UFOs, because that was what you wrote about. So I had a choice to go to the San Antonio Public Library downtown and work on my term paper or friend invited me to get together of teenagers. And I chose not to go to the library and work on my term paper, but to go be with some teenagers. Nobody can hold anything against you for that. And I went to the home in a basement and there were teenagers there singing Christian songs like Give Me Oil and My Lamb, Kumbaya, things like that, songs of the 1970s. And a gentleman presented from the Bible, salvation through Jesus Christ. I had been raised in a religion that taught me, you work your way to heaven, here's a ladder, you climb it, do your good works, give your money, be at church, help old ladies across the street. And when you die, there's a scale and God will see which one you had more of the good or the bad and that you turn. Well, that's not scripture, that would be a religion, that would be what man says. But this gentleman showed me from the Bible, and the verse was John 3, 16, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. And I always wanted to know that. And he also showed a verse in 1 John 5 verse 13, it says, These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God, which is Jesus. These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life. And that night I trusted Jesus to be my Savior, I realized he did the work that God demanded for the payment of sin, which is the shedding of his blood. It's a shedding of blood that satisfies God's judgment for sin, not good works. And at that point, I went to a camp. A few days later, somebody gave me a scholarship to go to this Christian camp, alone, Easter time for about a week, devotions, Bible studies. And I asked my counselor all these questions about my religion. And that gentleman said, well, let's look what the Bible says. And every question I had about my religion, the man turned to the Bible and had a Bible answer, which I had never seen before. And it's at that camp I realized that I had a false religion. The Bible was true, and this is truth. And I dedicated my life for Christian service at that camp in South Texas. And from there, I went on to Bible College in Florida, Hollywood, Florida, Florida Bible College. And after graduation, I was in the process of having my braces done. My doctor was a doctor in Plantation, Florida. So this was, braces was started my senior year of college, and I didn't want to leave that doctor in the process. So I stayed down there to have that process done. And waited for God to lead me. And I worked at the courthouse, Broward County Courthouse. And I actually, Dave, lived on Los Olas Boulevard, which is a prestigious boulevard. Very prestigious. I wasn't married yet. It had a little efficiency apartment. It was $115 a month to live on East Los Olas. I don't think you could pay for parking for $150. And I could walk to the beach. Amazing. Then from there, I got a call from Louisville, Texas, that the school, at that time was called Louisville Christian Academy. It was in Louisville, was hiring. They had expanded the school. They needed somebody who they thought would care for people. And that's when I came to Louisville. And at that point, I gave my life in investing in the young people. Started with the elementary students. I've been in junior high teaching, and was principal for a number of years. And semi-retired, but stayed teaching, let the younger folks take over. And then last year, last May, I retired, but still stayed busy for the Lord. So going from Hollywood, Florida, to spending a little bit of time in Los Olas working for the Broward County Clerk. I mean, my gosh, I don't even know if you could find somebody to take that job these days, given some of the stuff that goes on down there. But I imagine that was a good experience. Was it a difficult decision to move from the beach? Did you enjoy the area? Were you into the Hollywood and the Los Olas scene? Or were you eager to get back to the nation of Texas? Oh, Dave and Kramer. I had lived there for eight years. Eight years. Eight years in Florida. Okay. Yes, sir. And you have one month of winter where it gets like, I think, in the 60s. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds so appealing right now. Yes, it does. We just had this conversation, right? It's 97 degrees right now. That does not sound appealing. Except a month ago, when it was 107. Then you would have died for 97, right? That's true. Anyway. But we're in fall. 97 degrees. Oh, obviously fall. Yeah. And we know that because people put pictures of pumpkins on their patios and whatnot. You know, pumpkins won't survive. Anyway, I'm sorry. That's okay, John. I digress. Got a bowl of candy corn in front of us here. There you go. Clearly, it's fall. Yeah, it must be because I couldn't walk outside until... When God says to move, you move. So it's when you listen to the Lord. Because it is scary. You know, you're set in your ways. Everything is stable. Dave, you talked about the beach. It was there, but you know, when you have a job, you work all day, you're tired, you don't go. Yeah, that's true. That's the number one thing of people that live on the beach is, I'd never go to the beach. You know, it's like, oh my God. Yeah. Somebody in Ohio right now is rolling their eyes like, you don't go to the beach. Now, if they retired, I would. Yeah. That's a little different story. We got a ton of visitors. We had a lot of people that would come through and they just wanted to, you know, it would be December or whatnot. And it's nice. It's 75, 85 degrees or whatnot. The water is, you know, nice and warm. And they just want to let that salt water touch their skin because they've been bundled up in layers for the last several months, you know, up in the mainland, I suppose you could say, away from the peninsula. And gentlemen, if you're in God's will, it doesn't matter where you are, you're happy. And I was happy, but then it's, okay, it's time. You've been in an oven. Yeah. It's time. I need to move you somewhere else. God has done that with countless characters of the Bible. They were in a place of holding. And then God said, okay, you're ready because where you're going, they're ready too. So do you think, just fast forwarding, you know, what is that 40? How many years were you? 45 years? Yes. 45 years? Yes, sir. So was retirement also, you know, do you feel like that was God saying, hey, it's time to start, time to do something else, you know? And what has been keeping you busy since retirement? You've been retired now, has it been six months or? Since last May. Has it been that long? It's been that long. When your life is all giving, it's very fulfilling. And getting older, I was relieved of my principalship, only to become a teacher in a school, but it was time for the younger to take over. And there's a time for that. Yeah. What was the, I mean, a little bit of a history lesson here, but what would have the, what would the recruiting be like back in the 70s or 80s to bring somebody from Hollywood, Florida up to a small Christian school? And what would have been a group of farms back then? I mean, I know where the school is right now. I mean, it would have probably been a farm, right? It was, it was a horse farm. Yeah. I remember looking at the property when we moved from Louisville to Flower Mound, it was, there were horses in the little stable there. I had a friend that had moved to Louisville and was teaching in the school and we had gone to Bible college together. And he suggested me to the principal. And the rest is history. Yes. Yes. I guess moving on just a little bit and, I mean, fascinating, fascinating history right there. I don't think anybody knew, knew that about you at all. Again, you know, we come in and out of each other's lives and these sort of, I don't know, two minute spurts. And a lot of times the first 90 seconds of that is repeated. And so it takes a long time in these, you know, fast paced environments in order to really get to know somebody. What is it about, you know, when I first met you, I thought you were the landlord. I thought you might own the building. And then I moved on to wondering whose father you were. Somehow you, you, you made your way in to a competition style jujitsu academy in Highland Village, which isn't too far from, you know, Louisville or the school. What brought that on? How did this, how did we, how did we cross paths? And, you know, it doesn't seem like it would be a very likely event. Yeah. When did you first step foot in the jujitsu gym? Yeah. Kramer and Dave. My life was to reach out. Now, I first met someone at the quick car on main street in Louisville next to Brahms. And that gentleman was very kind to me, maybe because I was elderly, but he was very kind to me and serviced my vehicle. And so I said, well, I'm going to go back tomorrow. I'm taking some Christian literature. And I think I took him something from Sonic, because I like to do that. To give is part of making you more important than me. And so I gave this to, to Cody at the quick car and found out he was a believer. And so then I started making a round of, because I would go by the quick car every day from school. So sometimes I'd stop in the morning and give him something from, from McDonald's or on the way, you know, something from Sonic. But I made a friendship with Cody. And so then he introduced me to other people. There's a mechanic in there. His name is George. And he fights jujitsu. And in that friendship, he said, Hey, I'm going over with Ray, who also is jujitsu. I'm going to go over to the neighborhood gym at lunch and would you like to come watch it? So so I did. So as I watched them, I said, Oh, my cow video them. So I videoed them, sent it to George and George said, I'm so thankful. I've never seen myself. And so you need I could stop it, I can make it big, I can. So thank you so much. And I thought, okay, maybe I've been retooled from school to use my gifts to others in this sport. And that's where it started. And then from there. I think everyone knows Abe Lamontagne. He is I've adopted him as my grandson. So three years ago, we we met get a dangerous grandson. We met at Thanksgiving. He had just competed. I was I was at in Frisco watching George compete. Yeah. And so Joyce, I'm gonna go over there and coach on the other side. So see here, would you watch my back? Well, sure. Well, the Abe had just rolled in front of me. He's walking back with some medals. And I you know, in my outreach, I said, Hey, buddy, what? What did you win? Not wanting to do the talking because of he talked and he told me all about it. And so then I asked another question. And we became very dear friends so much that you know, we follow I probably text him every day. That's amazing. Is he still not Abe the Mountain? Right? Yes. Is he still training down with Danaher and and Gordon Ryan and those guys down in Austin? He is. I just saw a video this morning where he's rolling with with Gordon. He's a talented young man. He doesn't want your feet. He plays this weird donkey guy with Jiu Jitsu podcast. We got to talk a little bit about Jiu Jitsu, too. But his Jiu Jitsu is incredible. And it's very unique. And yeah, so Abe, Abe's the man be on the lookout for him. Gotta get on the podcast. Sounds like I got to know I've got his grandfather. Yes, yes. You know, we can make this happen. This this debut, you said it so perfectly earlier that you do the video, take some pictures. Yeah, you've created a friendship or a family. And I can't tell you how many people would you pray for me? This is after it's all done, maybe go into the cars. Thank you for I'm having this. I'm having that. It just opens the door for ministry. Yeah, which is my bottom line. Were you surprised at all? Once you started, you know, engulfing yourself into the Jiu Jitsu community through your pictures and videos, which again, we all love. I mean, it's great to see your technique to be able to break it down. I love it. It's been it's helped my Jiu Jitsu too. Were you surprised at all to see this like, group of sweaty men and women, you know, flailing around, I think to to just the normal spectators like what in the world are they doing one, but have you been surprised at all, on the type of people that you've met through the sport of Jiu Jitsu? But it's it's it's changed our lives. I'm, you know, pointed Dave now and I know how much it changed our life from just the people in the community and the family type atmosphere that we've been introduced to through the sport and some of my lifelong friends that you're meeting through this. So as you know, kind of an outsider, which you were at the time get into it. Have you is what has surprised you most about the practitioners that you've met? Try to find like a couple commonalities that they all that they all have. Kramer, that's a beautiful question. I tell people sometimes I have the gift of judging because I am so easy. I don't not so much now. But, you know, if you had a tattoo, my goodness, you, you probably just got out of jail. I'm wondering, what is it? Maybe the judge sent him to this gym to work out some things. And I was kind of afraid. And then I realized that these talented people are some of the nicest people. Nicer than some people I have in church. I was so wrong. And I had to confess to the Lord that I was judging. I need to look beyond that. And I realized how this sport helps them, ladies and men. We all have a background. We've all come a different road. Some roads have been deeper and longer. But they're there now being encouraged. And I'm just so thankful to be a part of that. So it's changed just overall, your perception in a way of people and not necessarily looking at them for their outward appearance, but who they are on the inside looking at them for their outward appearance, but who they are on the inside and, and much like Jesus did in his walk. I think if Jesus were around today, this is controversial. Sorry, I think he'd be on a Harley. You know, he'd be running with the thugs, right? Would he be a tattoo sleeve? Or would it be a little prison tat? He'd turn you into a horse. But you know, it is it's breaking down those barriers of that, you know, you said some of the people in the church suck. And I think that's what keeps a lot of people out of the church. And why jiu jitsu is such a, the jiu jitsu gym is such a comfortable place for people to go, they know that they can walk in that door, put their belt on doesn't matter what color the belt is, doesn't matter what color the gi is, doesn't matter their background doesn't matter their age, doesn't matter their sex. You're all there for the love of one thing, just like a church should be, right? You're all there for the love of Jesus. And so there's so much correlation between the two. And it's awesome that you found yourself into a jiu jitsu gym because of it. And I think it was, you know, God's will that brought you to the jiu jitsu gym as well. So yeah, okay, you're so right in that many of these folks would not venture into a church that they could have had hurt feelings from the past. I certainly understand that maybe no religious interest. But I have found that many are believers and have strayed away and really have come back and part of their coming back, reinforcing their faith is the jiu jitsu sport. It helps them mentally, helps them psychologically, helps them emotionally. And they feel that that's part of that. And this has just been a help to them. Yeah, no, I agree. I'm one of those people that has found his way back to the Lord through the sport of jiu jitsu. And so, you know, I can speak for myself and just how amazing it's been for me. But without, without jiu jitsu, I wouldn't have found Jesus again. So you're 100% you hit the nail on the head with that. So, you know, but the Lord waits for us, you can get as far from the Lord as you think. There's no way he's coming back or she's coming back. But that's not true with him. His grace and his love is infinite means it never runs out. So he's always going to be there. Amen. How did you how did you find for me? We know I mean, obviously, Kramer and I are for me guys, we're very loyal to him. He's been a mentor to me. I'm not going to speak for Kramer. But I mean, he's been a huge part of my life and my my, I suppose boomerang back into an enthusiastic practitioner. And as good of a competitor as he is, he's always encouraged me to have a more holistic outlook on my jiu jitsu, which has changed me. It's created this podcast. And it's introduced me to some of my some of the most amazing people that I've ever met. It's introduced you and I, how did you find how did you find this place? It's not exactly there's not a big sign in the road or anything like that, right? And it's a sweaty gym. I mean, I know people that have walked away because they're like, man, no, I don't think I'm going to spend much time on this, man. You know, as soon as Rowling's over, you see that I probably head out pretty quick. We've had some funny conversations, Dan. I know I know there was one day I was sitting there licking my wounds and you go, Are you okay? I'm like, I'm okay. I might not be okay, actually. I just watched the physical perspective on it. It's real. It's not like wrestling, you know, with the old fashioned wrestling where you throw a chair at somebody. Now it's this is real. Oh, that's almost happened. But how did you find how did you find a double five? Well, Abe, okay, you gentlemen, you go to different gyms, different seminars, different opportunities to learn. You're so eager. Yes, exactly. And he said, I'm going to this place. And so once you go there, the character of the people involved in that gym, ladies and gentlemen, it was just outstanding for me is just a humble, talented professor. But you wouldn't think he was anything special because he just treats you like family. And so I made a lot of friends that first time. And then you know, you go back and you make some more friends and realize you're helping. Yes. So for me, Highland Village is what I call my headquarters headquarters. There are actually about 10 gyms that I visit when I can. In fact, tonight, I'm heading over to excuse me. And heading over to Soul Fighters in Allen. Okay, wow. You're I mean, that's 45 minutes away. And that's Bruno take minutes. It's Igor. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can't say his last name. Oh, I don't I never tried. No, or their silent J. I know who he's talking about. Great black belt under under Bruno Tank Mendes and in taking you Mendes on Soul Fighters, which we used to be affiliated with as well. Yeah, yeah. But Kramer and Dave, you know, there are Kramers and Dave's there. Yeah, see, that's what we did. And yes, that's the funny thing about this. And I remember where this started to take a different perspective for me is I saw you at I watched multiple tournaments. And so I saw you at PANS. And then I saw you Jiu Jitsu World League on the floor with a coach's pass. I'm like, okay, there's this guy's making some waves here. There's something going on. Maybe I need to maybe I need to, you know, ask myself a few questions here. So it's interesting what a wide, what a wide impact you've had. Have there been is this something that is unique to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or Jiu Jitsu? Or is this I mean, are there other sports or clubs that that that you've that you've, I don't know, found interesting as well, or do similar sort of, you know, charitable charitable events for like photos and videos and whatnot, or mentorship? My church runs a outreach to assisted living facility in Flower Mound. And so we do that every Wednesday. So I'll take pictures there and post that, you know, again, I hate that I do it on my Facebook, because it's me, but I'm never in the pictures, because I'm always the photographer. There's not a lot of photos of you. The last photo I remember seeing of you, to be honest, was one on your retirement. And it was, I think, probably 40 year old Dan. It would have been the equivalent of me and Kramer here. You know, it is great. Christian school. I guess, uniform uniform. Is that what it was? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Grace Christian Academy. Yeah, I've seen lots of photos. There was a fantastic slideshow of you at your retirement service. There's a really funny, silly side of Dan that not everybody gets to see, too. His students know this. I know the other administrators at the school know this. This man was dressed in costume doing all sorts of funny stuff. And so we don't get to see that side of you too much. But he's not shy. I could tell you that much. I saw several photos of Dan cut it up. It was super cool to see. I was there to see who else was there. Formiga went to that. Big Isaac Ty Wessel went to that. So we got to see more of Dan than most people do. What kind of costumes are we talking about here? Is this Ghostbusters type stuff? Or is this something a little bit more subtle? Well, it would be Hat Day, St. Patrick's Day, Green Mustache, Clash Day, Patriotic Day. Yeah, whatever it is. Kramer and Dave, I'm just a 72 year old little boy. There you go. That's a good way to be. Well, let's shift gears again. So going back to the beginning and some of the objectives that we've got. Anytime we bring somebody on, it doesn't really matter what their background is. We've learned that success leaves clues. And your perspective on the amount of time that you've got to watch all of these guys and gals that have come through our gyms, you're probably a blue belt or a purple belt at this point, you know, with the amount of jiu-jitsu that you've absorbed, because you've literally spent hours and hours and hours watching recording. And I mean, surely some of that stuff is soaked in. But one of the things that you are 100% qualified to kind of give an opinion on is when somebody new walks into that school, you've been around enough where you've seen people come, you've seen people go. What kind of advice would you give somebody that was brand new to our sport and on their first night? How do you kick them off? If they were part of their jiu-jitsu orientation was to spend a couple minutes with our adopted father, Dan O'Leary, what would you say to kick them off on their journey? They're starting jiu-jitsu, is that correct? That's right. I would tell them to be as faithful as possible. It's hard in our busy world. It's so enriching for your self-image. And your whole life is based on how you view yourself. If you view yourself as inadequate, a loser, that's what you're going to produce. But if you visualize yourself and prove it on the mat that you are able, strong, somewhat gifted, determined, those are all charactered things. And that's lacking in our lives of our young people and adults. Jiu-jitsu is a character building sport. There's a lot of comparisons. I wouldn't know. I haven't been around long enough in the world. But you always hear these generational comparisons where, I guess, the quintessential back in my day type of comment. I'm 45, bro. But the back in my day, right? And there was a comment that a famous Marine General made in Afghanistan. And he said, if you think that the youth of this world aren't capable of carrying the torch, you should have seen my Marines in the fighting holes at three o'clock in the morning. That always stuck with me. And I see that in jiu-jitsu as well. And so, as you just mentioned, there's these character attributes that come and are transferable with people that spend enough time on this. And they can be transferred even if you don't have them today. And if you think that the youth of the world can't carry the torch, then some of people's life transformations that I've witnessed, I think, would be contrary to that. I think I've seen people that have turned their lives around by coming in and attaching themselves to the group of men and women that we've got. Kramer and I, as we've both just laid out, are youthful and in our 40s. If you could go back, Dan, and talk to the 40-year-old Dan O'Leary, would you give yourself any advice? Is there anything you would tell yourself if you had maybe a do-over or if you could drop some wisdom that you've gained along the way to give yourself a little bit of an edge as you've moved on? Dave, I would tell myself, don't be so tight. Relax. Enjoy life. Enjoy people. There's a time to be serious and there's a time to have fun. Life is a balance. A lot of times we put ourselves under a lot of stress, either trying to please people, trying to live up to an expectation, and it just complicates life. I wish I was more relaxed. That hits home. At this stage in my life, yeah, that hits home really hard right now. It's a good one. Thank you for sharing it. Yeah, don't take life so seriously. Gentlemen, you both have great responsibilities. I understand that, the responsibility, but sometimes we don't relax with that or enjoy or we need to balance that. You can see what he was doing. Exactly. Balance. Just going back to the beginning of this episode, going back to the whole reason for the podcast that you created anyway, Dave, was about finding balance in life. It's awesome that Dan's able to tie it back to why we're even here in the first place. It's a good way to turn the corner as well. Dan, as you move on and you've retired, what an amazing career. Obviously, all the lives that you've touched. We've talked about the web that we didn't even realize. Kramer told me the story about the night of your retirement and how eye-opening it was to see what a widespread network there was of people that you had the same impact on as you've had on us. As you plan your next phase, how has your perspective changed? What are your goals? What do you look to do in this next phase of life? Well, my wife and I, we have eight grandchildren, so I plan to enjoy them. I babysat my grandson this morning before I came to you. Does that include Abe? He's on his own right now. I just follow him. There you go. My daughter and her husband live in Tazewell, Tennessee, and they have adopted eight children. No, no, no, hold on. They've adopted five children. Right now, their age is 10, 9, 8, 7, and 6. So, their hands are full, but God has been so good to them. We plan to go see them at Christmas, try to see them at least once a year, and they come out here, too. I have a son in Louisville with his wife, and they have three children. Two are in our Christian school, and then Logan is the one I babysat today. A joy. Dave, I plan to just continue on one day at a time like we all do, and if there's a day I need to rest, I rest. Tonight, I'm rested, so I'm going to head over to Alan later. I do want to say that wherever I happen to be, any venue, people always come up to me and say, well, hello, how are you? But I don't remember everybody's faces. So, I'm starting to say, do I send you videos? Oh, yes, you do. Can you remind me of you? And so, then I always have a pen, so I write their name on my hand, you know, because I just don't remember. And there was a Jesus Jiu-Jitsu seminar, and I was asked to give my testimony there. And weeks later, as I would be in different venues, people would say, oh, I saw you. And real precious to me, a little boy came up to me, and he said, I know you. You're the man with the big book. The big book. And I just thought of how sweet that was. So, you know, you give yourself to God and let him do with you what he wants. It's the surrender. Amazing. Gentlemen, closing thoughts? Ben, thank you. I think I can, I'll speak on behalf of the whole Double Five community and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu community here in DFW, and you've even made your way into the Austin community too. Just the sincerest thank you. We love you. We hope that you continue to come around as long as possible, because you make us all better. You make the gym a better environment, a more welcoming environment. And just we'll all try to live a little more selfless like you. But again, thank you. We love you. This has been amazing. Thank you, Kramer. I couldn't put it any better than that. And Dan, can't thank you enough for spending the time with us. This has been a treat. Our first, I suppose, co-hosted podcast that I've ever done, and I couldn't have had a better co-host, and I couldn't have had a better guest. It's an honor to hear your story, and it's going to be a bigger honor to share it. Thank you very much. Gentlemen, I just love the discipline that Jiu-Jitsu puts in lives. Yeah, it's true. Because the discipline affects, again, everything you do with your life. I would love to see Jiu-Jitsu expanded in our schools, even starting with elementary. I would love to see Jiu-Jitsu introduced to our police, and fire, and fire departments, just to help them alleviate a situation that could get worse, when it could be handled in a Jiu-Jitsu way, which stops something else from happening. Those are goals I have, dreams I have. Yeah. Like I said at the beginning, I'm surprised there isn't some, given your connection to the community and your connection to the school, I'm surprised there's not some level of intramural Jiu-Jitsu or whatnot at Grace Christian. Yet. Yet. I mean, you've got two guys right here that are willing, able, embodied. If there's a program that's bound to happen, then I'm pretty sure we can figure it out. Well, maybe Monday, next Monday morning, I'll rent a Jiu-Jitsu key. I'll borrow a black belt. I'll stand in front of my school with a plaque saying, Jiu-Jitsu or bust? I don't know. There you go. That could be interesting. It could be interesting. I think all of those are really good, especially the commentary on starting Jiu-Jitsu young, starting Jiu-Jitsu with kids. I mean, I could do a whole episode on that. In fact, I have. And then police and fire. We don't have as many cops as we used to, but man, if there is ever a fire in our building, I don't think that there's a safer place to be than our Jiu-Jitsu school because we have firemen from, I have a statistically unusual number of firefighters that train with us. You can just tell by the mustaches just coming down. Look at all these mustaches, must be firemen. You can tell by the mustaches. There you go. Anything else, Dan? Well, I just want to thank the Lord Jesus for all he's done for my life and the guidance, and there are his principles to follow that lead to success. Well said. There's not a better way to close it out than that. And thank you everybody for listening. We are out.