Love in Your 30s

The Daily Dose podcast is back with host Ryan White discussing various topics. In the first episode, he talks about loving your 30s and shares his thoughts on zodiac signs, dating during COVID, idolizing celebrity relationships, not healing from past relationships, and communication issues. He then introduces his best friend, Robert, and they discuss happiness and healing in relationships. Ryan also reveals his top five musical artists. Wow I think it is safe to say my hiatus is over. Welcome to the Daily Dose y'all. My name is Ryan White. I will be your host on this lovely brand new original podcast. We're going to get into some themes on every episode because you know the Daily Dose basically all we want to do is you know get some knowledge, definitely hear about the experience. We're definitely going to focus on growth and then of course because you know I love music and everything around me is just music, I really like to know your sound. Because like what do you like? What do you get into? What gets you going? Like music is me and I can't go a day without it. So welcome to the show. Sit back. If you're in the car, make sure your seatbelts on. If you are sitting at home, pour that glass of wine. If you like tequila like me, take a shot. Let's get into some things. I really just want to dive straight into it. Loving your 30s. First episode here we go. So before you know my best friend and I really unpack, I have some top things that like I really have to get off my chest. Number one, you are not your zodiac sign. I don't care what Twitter told you, what Google told you. If you call on to the moon for whatever, I just don't care. You're not your zodiac sign. When you got up and you made decisions, the zodiac sign didn't do that for you or it didn't determine how you got things done. And I'm going to say in terms of relationships, if you say some crazy stuff to your partner, your zodiac sign has nothing to do with it. You made that decision on your own. Okay. COVID, that whole lockdown phase, I think it changed the rules in dating. I was not dating during peak COVID or anything around that time because I had a lot going on in my life and I really just couldn't put that on anybody. But you know, now that I've healed, it is really hard getting back into it. And I haven't really been able to determine is it because I'm 30 or is it because I was away from the dating game so long that I just haven't learned the new rules. Another one, idolizing celebrity relationships. I don't want to be with anybody that idolizes a celebrity or influencer relationship because at the end of the day, more than half of that is just for the internet. We don't know what they go through at home. I don't want anyone to be like, Oh, I love Aria Moneybag. Okay. We don't know what they go through at home. They just show us the fun stuff. And I really don't want to name any other celebrity couples because I really don't keep up with it. But I just, I just hate that. And I hate when people be like goals. Bye. Um, a lot of people, and this is a good one. A lot of people are not healing. And I will, we'll get into that in a little bit, but people are not healing from their past. And they're jumping in, you know, relationship to relationship, situation ship to situation ship. And they're really not, you know, learning from whatever it is that they just went through. And maybe it wasn't their fault, but it was still a learning lesson. And I just, I'm just tired of, you know, people complaining that they're not happy, but they're jumping, you know, relationship to relationship. We don't need to trauma bond out here, people. We do not need to trauma bond. And lastly, before, you know, I bring my best friend on, I've noticed that because, okay, everyone that has a podcast and talks about relationships, communication is always like the number one topic, but it's such a huge deal. I have dated multiple people at this point in my life and communicating how you really feel for some people is extremely hard. And I don't know if it's because growing up, they were never taught the tools to be expressive of when you're happy, when you're upset, when you don't like something. Because example, I'm not confrontational, but you know, at some point I'm going to tell you how I feel because I'm one to shut down because, you know, I don't want to say the wrong thing. Or if I'm really upset, I don't, I just hate speaking out of anger. It's just not healthy at all. So if you're listening to this and you're having issues in your situation, relationship, or just whatever you're in, communicate. If you're upset, tell your partner, I'm upset. Now, how they receive it, I don't know, but I just noticed that like in my, I don't want to say my last relationship, but just over the past couple of years, I've noticed as social media has just been the go-to for everybody, I'll get an emoji for an expression or a feeling before I get like how that person truly feels or it may take them a year to circle back and be like, you know what, we honestly probably could have got to the next, like, you know, the next phase in our relationship, but I didn't tell you how I really felt. Or I didn't tell you what I was going through internally and I was taking that out on you. Like, oh my God, I'm tired. We're all tired, but you know what? We're, we're learning and we're growing and just take accountability and I think we'll all be okay. So, now that I've really opened the floor, I really, really, really want to, you know, open the floor to my best friend. So today y'all, I really want to get into some things and I want to talk about love. I feel like love right now is just all over the place between social media, people not healing, people just having sex to get by. I just really want to tap in, but I couldn't do it by myself. So today I got to tap in with my best friend and we really, I just want, I need his opinion on top of mine and y'all can tell me how you feel in the end. But right now, without further ado, introduce yourself best friend. Hey y'all, I'm Robert. Y'all have probably seen me lurking in the shadows behind this man. Anytime this man DJs, y'all probably see me by the DJ booth, never too far behind. You see him, you see me. That's all there is to it. So before we get into the topics that I want to just really dive into, I need an icebreaker. So I want to know who are your top five musical artists? Oh my gosh. Okay. So if you know me, you know that Beyonce is top number one. Like she's number one. Okay. Number one. Then we have Janet Jackson. We have Ariana Grande. That's what three. So we also have Usher. Oh, I didn't know that. Yes. I am. I love Usher. I used to get told that I look like him as a child. I don't look like him anymore. And then my fifth one. Oh my gosh. I have to say, think about it. Oh my gosh. Y'all. Okay. Brandy. Okay. I'll go with that. Brandy. Let's go. All of those people are talented artists. So our first topic today, I am going to ask you, are you happy and are you healed? Because loving your 30s, I feel like you have to be happy and you have to be healed. I feel like if you're not either or, you can't even begin trying to pursue another person because it's not going to work. So are you happy? Oh, we got them right in. Okay. So I'm getting there. I will say that the last few months have been very stressful for me. I'll say that. So I'm getting to a place of me being happy. What's making it stressful? Are you having an easy time finding yourself or is it kind of difficult? It can be difficult at times. And I don't know how to, sometimes I don't know how to express my feelings and I'm a big person on communication. So if I'm not communicating, I feel like a hypocrite. You know, I think it's weird that you say you have a hard time expressing yourself because I feel like you speak your mind. You're very, this is how I feel. But maybe when it comes to love, it doesn't just flow. It doesn't. It really doesn't. So I'll tell y'all a quick story. So there was this guy that I'm interested in and one of his friends I follow on Instagram and I was following his friend before I was following him. Let's start there. One of his friends was on Instagram story and was like, so yeah, my friends asked me to go out. One friend is out here on a date and he in a whole boot and I'm out here in the house by myself. So instantly I knew who it was about because I was talking to that friend or I'm interested in that friend. And so I screen recorded it and I was like, I'm finishing this nigga. Like, Oh, this is when you called me. Yes. Okay. Yes. And I was pissed off at him. Now this, mind you, this was, this is the time that I should have communicated to him right then and there, but I didn't, I let it sit and I never said anything. And so this was like back in December, we hung out, we went to dinner a few days ago and I told him about it and he was like, wait, you were mad at me? He was like, I didn't even know. I was like, because I wasn't talking to you. Just to give you all a timeframe, today is January 13th. So that was only roughly 13 days ago. So here we are. So when we had the conversation, he was like, no, he was like, it was literally just a friend that, you know, we have been back and forth on Instagram. He had been saying how he wanted to hang out and that's all it was. It wasn't a date. And I was like, okay. So had I communicated to him in the beginning and said, Hey, I feel some type of way because you out here on a date and I found out through one of your other friends, Instagram stories, it might have cleared it up right then and there. My question is, so, okay. He wasn't quote unquote on a date, but it was obviously something I left. Listen, I left it at that. I didn't ask any questions and we moved on. Okay. Well, I can double back and say that I'm happy. If you don't know, I was in a relationship off and on relationship. I'm going to be a thousand percent with two different people. Like I felt like last year for the first three months, I was with one person. And then for the next four months I was with another person and then that didn't work out. Then I went back to the other person and that didn't work out. Then I went back to the other person. So I was teeter tottering between two people the whole year. And what was crazy is y'all they're from the same city and I'm not talking about Dallas. So it just was a whirlwind for me because I'm not the type, I don't double back. But I think last year was my first year like getting back into the dating field. And because those people like outside of the issues that we had, we could laugh all day. I could talk to them all day. You know, the whole air pod thing. I can talk to you when I'm at work. Like it was a lot, but nonetheless, I'm not with either one of those people, not getting back with either one of those people. So if you're listening, no, it's over. However, my next question, Robert, are you healed? Are you healing? In order to heal, you have to stop touching the wound. So what's the wound for you? My gosh. So my wound, there's multiple. What's your top thing that makes you like get into your feelings and like second guess yourself in the situation? Oh my gosh, you are really good. We're really going there, everyone. This is a daily dose. We have to give a dose of who you are. There's somebody out there that can relate to your story. I think for me, I think I just have to heal from the, I had the one where I felt like he was always cheating on me. And because I say that because when we broke up and this was back in 2021, we broke up and like a month later, he was in a new situation. So you and I both know it can happen quick, but it don't happen that quick. Right. So you would have been talking to this man while you were talking to me. Right. And I'm a firm believer in like, if you don't like me or you don't want to be with me anymore, tell me. It's going to hurt my feelings and I'm going to be upset. I'm going to be pissed at you. However, be honest with me. But you know, people are not going to tell you that upfront. I think I've maybe only had one person tell me that my whole life since I was like, I knew what love was. But I remember I was dating someone who I still like, we're still cool. I'm disclaimer, I'm cool with all of my exes minus two. And that person really just put me through it. But I think we were growing up together in our 20s and whatever he was going through, I helped him get through it and vice versa. But I can identify with that because after dating him, we were together for two years. When I got in my next relationship, I was always scared that that person would, you know, go do whatever behind my back. Because if people don't know, if you're listening, I am not a sexual being like I can be, but I'm not. I think I show my love for others in 10,000 other ways. But sex is just something that it's not my forte. Like that's so intimate. And because I've had my heart broke before, I've never really just tapped back into it. And I wish I could, but I can't. And I get that. I get the whole, I'm healing. But that's hard sometimes. Like the whole sexual thing. That is very hard sometimes to tap back into. Because honestly, I went through a spell and sometimes I probably still go through it, where like sex is just not that big of a deal to me. Yeah, me neither. Like if we talking, we having a great time, sex is the furthest thing from my mind. Yeah, you look good. Yeah, I may want to eat your ass. Yeah, I may want to suck your dick. But you know, I'm not going to act on it because I really am enjoying the getting to know you part. Yeah, I've learned that, especially with guys, if you give them what they want too soon, nothing else happens. Like, and then y'all may have created habits. So if y'all already living together, that's going to still happen because they're comfortable. Or if y'all not living together, but y'all have already adapted like a schedule. Like I work from this hour to this hour, Monday through Friday, and you work this hour to this hour, Monday through Friday. So we have curated this love language to coexist. However, you already got what you wanted from me. So behind closed doors, there's a possibility that you're getting it from somebody else, but you want to come home to me. And I think that's what took me a very long time to heal from. But in a nutshell, I am not healing, I'm healed. I can't believe I'm saying that. And I did just get out of a relationship, but y'all, I never had sex with that man. So I didn't even, I don't have like a soul tie with him. So I was able to bounce back. Do I miss him? I'm going to say yeah, because outside of the relationship, we were good friends. And I think that maybe we should have never acted, we should have never gone past being friends. Because that was somebody that I could go out to eat with that was always down. Because, you know, me and Robert, what do we always do? We go out to eat. I don't think he would have been my best friend, but he would have been like a good friend. But because we had a past history, like in 2014, I think that's what we tried to bring back to life. But I think who I am today is definitely not who I was back then. He met me at a very low point. And when he came back to my life, you know, I'm working at the radio station. I'm an influencer. I get, I'm going to concerts. I'm getting Lexus, sending me cars, like it's a whole other ball game. But do I miss him? Sometimes. Do I still check his profile? I recently stopped. Some hills. That's news to me. Yeah, I saved it for the show. I was in a relationship. What do you expect? That is news to me. And we've talked about him a few times. I saved it for the show because I really wanted to be a thousand percent honest. Like, this is somebody that I was spending every day with. Like, when I would get out of class, I went to his house. When I wasn't in school, I was at his house. Like, I was always there. I would call that man and he'd be like, oh, I'm over there. No, no, let's be even more honest. He was cooking. No, I wasn't answering the phone. No, I'm not going to say that you weren't answering the phone for me. I can't speak to anybody else. When she was answering the phone for me, I knew better. I do answer the phone. You knew better because let me tell you something. We have each other's location. So, I can't be like, I'm not going to answer the phone because he already knows where I'm at. Correct. So, anytime I want to talk to him, that's really the only reason I use your location. Is if I'm like, oh, okay, he's not, it doesn't say he's in the hills or it doesn't say he's at Raven's house. So, he's somewhere that I'm familiar with. So, I'm going to text him first. But around that time, every time I checked the location, you was always at that house, that apartment. Yeah, that apartment. But you would answer the phone for me. But enough about that. That's the past, y'all. I'm not in that situation. He's actually blocked on every social media account. And he's even blocked on my laptop. If you have a Macbook, you know about forgetting to block him on the Macbook. Because I kept forgetting to block him on my damn Macbook. So, I wouldn't get the text on my phone. But every time I opened my computer, ding, ding, ding, ding, it would just load up. But anyways, let's move on to the second topic. Because I want to know more. So, Robert. Yes. What success have you had finding love in your 30s? Now, we haven't been 30 that long. We have not been 30 that long. It's been, what, 7 months for me. Okay, I'm not going to do that type of math. We've been 30 for almost a year. And I feel like the second we turned 30, everything changed. Like, the maturity levels changed. Like, what you're interested in changed. Like, what do you bring to the table changed. Like, do you have this? Do you have that? Like, do you have goals? Do you want to do more? Do you want more for yourself? Because believe it or not, a lot of guys, shit, girls too. They don't want more for themselves once they hit, like, a certain age. Because they feel like, this is it. Now, I'm not speaking for people that have kids. And I'm not talking about your dog or your cat. Or your fish or your turtle. Whatever the case may be. I'm talking about kids. For real, for real. We don't have kids. So, we don't, we can't identify with the adults that have kids. Because I'm sure that's a whole nother, like, ball game. So, have you had success within the past year? Because we turned 31 this year. Oh my God. Have you? Oh my God, it's okay. We don't look our age. We don't. The topic is already loving it. So, it's cool. Have you had success or have you got close to it? Hell no. No? No. You didn't even get close? No, I did not. So, I... No. I have not had success in my 30s. Because the men out here in Dallas... No, no, no. Let's not pinpoint just to Dallas. In general. Okay. In general. Because I could be talking to some that's, you know, online. That live in different states. Because I feel like in your 30s, we have the budget to travel if we wanted to. Correct. But they want, for me, they want... They all want the same thing. They want... What's that? What's the same thing? They all want either sex or they want you to cater to them. And it's a 50-50 for me. Like, I need... You have to work with me and I have to work with you. Do you think that there's men, especially black men, that's what we're focused on right now. Do you think that black men have trauma that they haven't identified that comes out in their relationships? Oh, most definitely. But I believe that we all have traumas that come out in the relationship. But I don't hold that against them. Yeah. That's not... Because, like I said, we all have traumas. There is never going to be a point in time where someone is not going to have a trauma. But do you think that... Because it's levels. Like, I have trauma. You have trauma. Correct. But I don't bring... I don't put my trauma on anybody. Correct. But do you think that majority of black men, especially here locally, do you think that they just haven't taken the time to identify why I'm fucked up? Why I know I want to be in love, but because maybe I didn't have a father figure or maybe I didn't have a mom in my life or just a parental guardian to guide me in the right direction, to feel loved, that when they finally get someone that they're attracted to, they try to put that burden on us. Like, they want us to fulfill that void that they have. Like, I want you to do this. I want you to do that. I want you to do this. But if you can't do that, then this isn't going to work. I most definitely feel like those traumas, they have not worked through. Okay. It's sad because I want more for us as black men, gay black men. Yeah. But it's hard when some people don't have that resource or don't know how to even start with dealing with that trauma. And so until... And I'm still learning that myself. Yeah. Like, it's not... But I don't put it on to the guys that I'm interested in. Yeah. I may talk about it, but I'm not going to put that on them because that's not how I want you to view me and that's not how I want you to view how we would be if we were together. Another question. So how do you know or when do you know that you're comfortable enough to open up and talk about how you feel or what you've experienced, like, you know, what's brought you to this point, got you to this far? Like, because I know with some people, I don't even want to tell them where I work. But then there's some people, they make me this open book and it's just like, oh my God, I went through that too. When do you find yourself comfortable enough to be like, I identify with what you went through and maybe we can learn from each other? I think it's all as y'all, you connect more with them. Like, you hang out with them, you actually get to know them, get to know about their life. Because even once again, now this is going back to the same guy that, the same guy who wasn't really on a date. I've recently just opened up to him about a lot of the trauma and the issues that I have been having in my life the past three years. And it was just something about that moment that felt very safe. And I was given the opportunity to really be me and be vulnerable and not feel like I was being taken advantage of or felt like I was going to be judged. And him and I have been knowing each other for like a year now. Did it bring y'all closer? In my opinion, I feel like it brought us closer. But it was the fact that I got to really just, I was able to create that space for us. And then because once I opened up, then he opened up about what he was going through. So I feel like it just depends on y'all's connection. Well, that brings me to my next question. Do you think social media has altered the dating scene? Yes and no. And that goes for dating apps too. Yes and no. Give me your no first. I don't want to hear your yes first. Give me your no. I say no because the whole social media stuff, that doesn't bother me. So that doesn't bother you? That's why it's a no for me. Okay. That's why it's for me. I can't speak for you. And I can't speak for the audience. But for me, it's a no. I feel like because if you are really truly comfortable and safe in y'all's relationship, then that shouldn't. Wait, is it even a relationship? Well, no. Not even a relationship, but just a friendship. Well, friendship and going. I use the term relationship as like a friendship because friendships are relationships. That's specified. And I'm sorry. Let me specify this. When I say relationships, I just mean even if y'all are building something, it's still a relationship. Yeah. Like it's not a boyfriend and boyfriend, a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. Yeah, I got a bill today. But it's still you're building a relationship with someone. So with me, y'all. And if you hear that train, I know y'all hear it, but it's clever. So. So for me, I'll put it this way. I'm more active on social media than Robert is. And social media also is part of my career at this point. And I feel like Robert can feel like that because he probably doesn't have to deal with like the craziness that I have to deal with because I'm so active. So with me being active on the Internet, like you, the type of people I run into all the time, they automatically have this like opinion. How they view me is so high sometimes, not all the time. But my follower count is not me. And I feel like there are so many gay men. I'm just going to pinpoint. There's so many gay men that want that social status. And because I have it, sometimes they get with me for the wrong reason. They think that either I'm going to get them to that point or they think that social media is my life and it's not. Or just they're just jealous and they just want to figure it out. But in a nutshell, I stopped dating recently because I felt like especially when I was working at the radio station, there was a group of guys. And when I say group, a specific genre of guys that were attracted to me because it looked like I had access to everything. Now, don't get me wrong. I did have access to a lot, but I'm not the type to show it off like at all. And I kept running into situation after situation, but none of it was serious. Like every guy just wanted my access to the community. Like, oh, you're a DJ, so can you get me and my people into the club? Or, oh, you work for the radio station. Can y'all come out to my whatever? And it just got exhausting. Like it got so exhausting. Like to the point to where I don't even post on social media how I used to because I just don't want the DMs. I don't want the comments. I don't want the text messages. And I damn sure do not want the phone calls. So it's just, it's enjoying to see like the different sides of it because I feel like with Robert not being like super duper, like I'm an influencer. So he's just a regular person living his great life on the Internet, and you have me trying to get all these brand deals. And for me, it's a personal thing because there's a certain point in my career where I'm trying to go. But for him, he's just, it's enjoyable. And I feel like we're probably receiving two different ends of guys because for him, he's just, you know, this down-to-earth loving guy just doing his thing. And then for me, I am down-to-earth and loving, but I'm at every concert, every football game, every just you name it, I'm there. And that can be something that people are attracted to. But I felt like, you know, once I turned 30, people saw that before they saw me. But I think that's why it's a no for me is because you are my best friend. And so I've like, I know who you are as a person, and I know who you are behind the scenes, and I know the content that you create. But that's just, that goes for Jeremy too. Like he's like, he's a photographer. He's a filmographer. Like he's getting into doing more things. So I know the social statuses of y'all. So I think that's why it's a no for me because I see it firsthand. And it's not, you and I never talk about, oh, look who's in my DMs, blah, blah, blah, blah, doing this and yada, yada. It's a third. It's like, it's never like that with you and me. So that's why it's like, from the outside looking in, people think, oh, you a social influencer. You got all the hoes, like everybody in your DM. But from my standpoint, I don't get that at all from you. Like we never discuss, oh, this person in my DMs, I'm going to go hook up with this person, this person, this person. It's because it's not like that. In real true life, for a content creator and an influencer, for him, that's not what it's like. It's not. To be honest, most people are scared to speak to me because I'm very private. Even though I'm so open, I'm extremely private and I don't know what to say ever. Which leads me to my next question. What are your ics? Oh, okay. So some of my ics are, what's our inconsistencies? When you say inconsistent, you've got to break that down. You can't just say that. I was going to break it down. You didn't let me finish. So there was another story time. There was this other guy that I was talking to. And anytime we went on a date one time, and after that, I tried to make multiple dates with him. And it was always like, yeah, we can do this. Never set a date. I always tried to hang out with him. He was like, yeah, cool. Never set a date. So I don't like, and then I wouldn't hear from him for like two or three days. And then you just pop up. I don't have the energy for that. If you are interested in me, I'm not expecting you to talk to me every single day. Let's get that clear. Good morning text or hey, how's your day going? I don't like that morning text. And that's fine. Like it doesn't have to be, but I'm just saying these are the things that it could be. It could be during the day, hey, how are you today? How's your day going? I just wanted to check on you. You know, stuff like that. But if we are making plans and we say, okay, let's do this. Like let's go to the gym together. And you're like, okay, cool. And I'm like, what time? I don't hear from you like three, four hours later. But I've learned that some guys want, they're not good at being assertive saying the time that they want to be there. That's where they want you to come in. And unfortunately it's not fair, but I've learned. But it wasn't my idea. Yeah, but we see you every day going to the gym. So we know that's your thing. I'm trying y'all. I'm really trying. I'm going to have a hot boy summer because I'm single. He goes to the gym every day. And I think anything gym related, they're going to want you to take the initiative. Because even I am not about to work out. But I know if I was going to work out with you, I would want you to tell me what time. Because you're on a schedule. I'm not. But that's the thing. I'm really, I'm on a schedule in a sense because I work during the daytime. But nine out of ten, they probably work the same schedule. Unless they work at a hotel, work at a bar. This one had a nine to five. And later on down the line, he was just like, I just like my alone time. I get it. And if that's the case, don't hit me up. What other ex do you have? Labels. I don't, I prefer, I myself, let me speak for myself. Because I don't want the girls being angry at me. I know y'all like to tussle. Because they like to wrestle. And I like to wrestle and tussle too. But I got a crew and you won't do me. But I don't like when guys are like, I don't really like labels. Let's just, you know. And when we say labels. I mean boyfriend and girlfriend. I ain't talking about that top, bottom, reverse shit. Leave that out of here. Get out of here with that. You want to be a top, be a top. You want to be a bottom, be a bottom. You want to be reverse, be reverse. I don't care. But you don't like guys that be like, I don't want to put a label on our situation. Correct. Because if you and I have been talking for a year. Depending on how you like to move. Depending on how I like to move. And if we've agreed on it, we've talked about it. And you're like, I don't really want to put a label on us. Okay, well guess what? I'm not going to put a label on all these other guys that are in my DMs. Or that are texting me. And want to actually get to know me and want to put a label with me. So, I'm going to dive into your ick about that. Um, I do like labels. Like I like to know what are we doing. Same as me. However, I really love. Well, maybe I'm not that darn on your ick. Because I like to build a friendship. Because I'm goofy. And I feel like if I can't. If I don't build a friendship with you before we jump into the label. The relationship isn't going to work. Because we're going to figure each other out after the label. And I feel like sometimes when you put that label. It kind of makes you. I don't want to say obligated. But it can make you obligated to have to attend to certain needs at once. And that can be scary for some people. For me, not so much. But I've dated people when I was the initiator. Saying this is like what are we doing. Where are we at. And they kind of just told me what I wanted to hear. But I would find out like a month later that they weren't ready. Yeah, and I don't like that. No, we're not doing that. Because I just spent all of this time getting to know you. I spent my time. When I could be doing other things. Or talking to other people that are interested in me. And I'm spending my time talking to you for you to tell me. Oh, you don't really want to put a label on anything of what we are. So, you're just wasting my time. How much time did you waste last year? And then I'll tell you how much time I wasted. I won't necessarily. Because I really wasn't. I was only really like interested in one person last year. You know who the person is. And be honest. Was there anyone else that I was ever interested in last year? Besides. The person before that person. Correct. No. Correct. So, I have enjoyed spending my time with him. And giving my time to him. Because I know his life. Well, I'm going to say this. And I don't think I ever told you this. So, before I got with the person that I was with around my birthday. I honestly. Your birthday last year? Yeah. We're talking about last year. I just turned 30. That birthday party. The person that I honestly wanted to be with. Is who I met at the movie theater. I just didn't know that that person was going to give me all of that. But. Wait a minute. What movie theater? We went to go see. Was I there? Yeah. You were there. We went to Studio Movie Grill. The one that I just texted you about? Yes. Oh. Now we're getting somewhere. He's hot. That is who I talked to for a year. Before that person popped up. But. That's who I really wanted to be with. I would have liked to see that. I did too. I actually would have liked to see that. It was going to be great. But I feel like he had a lot of demons that he was dealing with. And. Wasn't he like missing for life? I'm not getting into that. But. I mean he had family issues. Like we all have family issues. And. I just feel like because he was a strong. Person. In his family. It was hard for him to give himself to me. And it's not because I demand anything. I just think because. I don't know why. The guys be thinking they got to give me the world. Immediately. But you don't have to. But that is who I honestly wanted to be with. This is the first that I'm hearing. That's why I dealt with him for so fucking long. I have often wondered why it took you so long to really just like cut that. Because when things were not bad. Like when things weren't bad. They weren't bad. They weren't bad. And. We spent a Christmas together. We did a lot together. But. It just didn't work. And it sucks. I don't even speak to that person anymore. I can't remember if he's blocked or not. But. I don't speak. I don't. I don't think he's black. I don't. Black man is strong. I don't think he's. I don't think he's black. I just really, really, really, really, really y'all. Like I really wanted to be with that person. Because. Outside of the bullshit. It was. It was fun. And. It was great. But you know. People. Have their issues. And I have my issues. And. They don't enter time. Do you have any other ex? Yes. And this is once again. No shade to the girls that have it. Don't come at me. But. I don't. I'm not interested in talking to someone. That has. An alt Twitter. Where. All you show is. Slang and dick. Or getting fucked. Like I don't. So you don't like the other Twitter? When. When we're single. Cool. Have at it. But if we're in a relationship. You gotta let that go. Well you know. Something for me. I can't even be. I can't even pursue you. If you have another Twitter. Because my whole thing is like. That means that you have a strong. Sex drive. And I can't. I can't. Like. Help you with that. Well see. This comes from. One of my friends being a porn star. So. I know. How he is. Behind the scenes. I got two friends. That are porn stars. So. That's why it comes from. Whatever you. If you do it. When we're not together. Cool. Okay. But porn star and OnlyFans. Are two different things. You right. Porn star is the actual career. Like. They really don't have feelings involved. They don't. But. But sometimes. The OnlyFans don't either. They still getting paid too. Some of them. Not all of them. Now they out here doing it for free. Some of them don't make a coin off OnlyFans. Because they. They're not. They're not creative enough. Like. I feel like. Sex is so open now. Like. You really gotta get in nooks and crannies. On camera now. You can't just. Play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Don't play with it. Normal cheese pizza. No. Stuffed crust. Mmm. Pancakes or waffles? Ooh. Pancakes. Credit or cash? Cash. Mmm. Fantasy or drama? Fantasy. Tacos or burritos? Burritos. Shower or bath? Shower. Mmm. While sleeping, fan or no fan? Ooh. Fan. Sneakers or trainers? Sneakers. Sushi or ramen? Sushi. Chicken nuggets or fried chicken? Fried chicken. Fried chicken. Fried chicken. Fried chicken. Fried chicken. Fried chicken. And cupcake or donut? Donut. I know that answer. Okay. I already knew that answer. You could have did donuts or bagels. Because neither would have been a different answer. I think so. Y'all, this is my first episode. Well, you know I had my intro. But this is my first episode with a guest on my own show, on the Daily Dose. So, Robert, how do you feel? I feel great. I was nervous at first. Very, very nervous because I've never done this before and I don't know how people are going to perceive me. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. 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