Epiosde #005 The Cockles of Sin

The speaker is recording a podcast in his work truck and describes the setup, including the long cords and a loud fan. He mentions that he fell asleep the previous night and decided to record the podcast in the morning instead. He talks about taking Alpha Brain supplements to improve his concentration and memory. He also mentions drinking beer while recording the podcast, but assures his boss that he is not driving. He talks about his week at work, including chaos and mayhem, and attending a CPR class where he encountered interesting individuals. He discusses his interaction with the teacher, who mentions a friend from his hometown and later reveals drama surrounding the friendship. Good morning everybody. This is episode 5. 5 already. Actually, it feels like it's been a lot. I can't believe I only have fucking 5. Welcome to Cockles of the Heart with Reed. You guys should see the fucking setup I got going right now. So I had this stupid fucking idea as soon as I woke up this morning. I was like, man, I think of all the best shit to talk about while I'm driving home in my work truck. So let's shoot the podcast in the work truck. So I got fucking just cords everywhere because the cord on this fucking blue Yeti mic and the headphones are like a mile fucking long, which I have no idea why they're so goddamn long. They only need to be like, you know, 3 or 4 feet and they're like 10-12 feet long cords. So there's cords everywhere. Went to run down here, realized the laptop was dead. So I started charging it and I was like, oh, I got one of those fucking things you can plug into the cigarette lighter and it's got an outlet on it. And then I can charge the laptop while I do the podcast and I won't die. Well, I forgot how fucking loud it is. It's got this big ass fan. It's a huge thing. It sits in the cup holder. It's kind of cool, but when you plug into the power, this giant fan goes off and that's all I could fucking hear when I was testing out the mic and the sound and adjusting all the dials and shit. So I just charged it up to, what are we at here? 20, we're at 32%. I figured that was good enough and I'll unplug that loud ass fucking thing. So I'll plug it in if I absolutely have to and try to put a shirt over it or something. So it's not so loud. And I bet my neighbors think I'm fucking crazy because it took two trips and I'm just running back and forth with a laptop and a microphone and headphones. I even grabbed a beer because fuck it, it's the weekend. I don't give a shit what time it is. I'm drinking a fucking beer on my podcast. And now I'm just sitting in my truck in the parking lot at almost nine o'clock in the fucking morning. There's people walking their dogs and getting up and I'm drinking beer in my work truck shooting a podcast. And so yeah, we'll see. Seems that all of my brilliance and my good ideas come from the inside of this fucking truck while I'm driving. I figured driving and shooting a podcast would probably be a horrible idea. Especially with the drivers in Nashville, I'd be slamming on my brakes and all my shit would hit the fucking windshield and it'd be a nightmare. So we'll just leave it parked. We'll leave the truck off and we'll be just fine. So yeah, I was supposed to shoot the podcast last night, but then I started watching Netflix and fell asleep at like fucking nine o'clock at night. So I figured I'd just get up early and shoot it instead. Who knows that I feel like my brain is working more properly at fucking in the morning. Anyway, at the end of the day, I'm fucking exhausted and I have brain fog and it sucks. So, but I have been taking alpha brain. Actually, I gotta, I gotta take one right now. I love this shit. It's actually, I mean, it's pretty subtle. It's not like Adderall, but it does feel like I can concentrate more. I can remember shit more. I can stay on task a lot better at work. So, um, way better. Just don't take two in the morning without anything to eat. That's what I did the first time I took this shit. And then I was like wired as fuck and felt sick. And then I crashed super fucking hard when it all wore off. And so I think you're supposed to take one in the morning and then one around lunchtime. So that's what I've been doing. It's been working a lot better. So I'll try the black label shit later. That's like the top tier stuff to take if you really want to concentrate like a motherfucker. So we'll try that out. And one second while I downed my nine o'clock in the morning, shooking up fucking beer with my alpha brain. I probably look like a fucking psycho and I'm sure my boss would fire me if I knew I was shooting podcasts and drinking beer in the work truck, but it's parked and I'm not driving anywhere. So Dan, if you're listening to this, relax, mama dude. Oh, yes. Michelob Ultra. I'm still knocking out these beers that my uncle gave me from that wedding. One at a time. So I probably I don't have more than like two a night, maybe three if it's Friday or something like that. But it's Michelob Ultra. It tastes like shit. So but anyway, yeah, I've had a crazy ass fucking week. Fucking shitty new guys getting hired at the company fucking chaos and mayhem at the job site. But to top it all off with the grand finale, I had a CPR class yesterday. And it was weird as fuck. It was like it was like all the people that got picked out for this CPR class were like picked out for a movie because it was like someone of every size, age, race. It was crazy. Like there's this one lady, I don't remember her name, but she was like older. And her fucking legs are going to give me fucking nightmares. They're awful. And I feel bad. But she her legs look like two pillowcases filled with gravel. Like they were enormous and scary. And we had to like get down on our knees to fucking if you've ever taken a CPR class a little CPR dummies. It's kind of like the episode from The Office where Dwight cuts the face off of it and puts it on his and says he's Hannibal Lecter or whatever. But every time she got down and got up, she's groaning and moaning and barely getting up and stuff. And everyone offered to help her and she's like, No, I'm fine. I got it. I can do this. And we're like, Well, hurry the fuck up. We're trying to get the fuck out of here. And she's like, I just had knee surgery. I was like, Yeah, I bet you had fucking knee surgery. Look at you like your poor legs and feet are probably dying right now. She's a rather large woman. And her legs were literally like tree trunks, but like shaky gelatin pillowcases filled with gravel legs. So that was absolutely terrifying. And she was like one of five people that could barely stand up from the CPR position. And I'm like, I feel like you guys are going to die in the process of giving anybody CPR. Like, why don't you just relax and let somebody else save the person. And I mean, it was a pretty good class. I'm glad I took it. It's good to know. I don't know if I'd have the balls to like run up and go to some stranger and wrap my mouth around theirs to try to save their life. But I mean, it's good information to have. I'm sure I'll make the right decision if God forbid that ever happens. But the best part is that I'll just tell you the story before I say anything about her. But we had this teacher. She was large too. I mean, it's Tennessee, half the people in there were like morbidly obese. And she looked like she was maybe my age, maybe a little bit older, probably older. And beginning of the class, you know, we do that awkward, stupid high school shit where it's like, say your name, whether you've been certified before, why you're taking it and one interesting fact about you. So I don't have any interesting facts that I feel like sharing with a bunch of random people in a CPR class. So I was like, I'm from Montana. She's like, Oh, Montana, like Yellowstone. And I'm like, Yeah, just like Yellowstone. Like, have you ever seen it? And I was like, No. And then half the class gas like you've never seen it. And I was like, No, like, let's just please move on. So move on. A little bit later. She's like, Where are you from in Montana? And I said, Bozeman. She goes, Oh, I know somebody there. I have a friend there. I was like, cool. Let's please continue the class. I don't feel like talking about Montana in front of 15 people. So we're moving along. And she's like, his name is whatever this is. And I was like, actually, that kind of does sound familiar. And it really did. It really did sound familiar. And she then she made this face like this grimacing face like, Oh, yeah. Like, you know him? And I was like, Oh, Jesus, fuck. What kind of friend is this? And so we move on a little bit more. And she brings it up again. And she's like, Well, you know, he, I think he either lives in Bozeman or Billings, but he's he's the manager at this t shirt printing company, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, Oh, maybe I heard his name on the radio or something. That sounds that sounds like it. That could be it. And I was like, All right, like, let's quit talking about this friend. I really don't want to know anything else. Because it sounds like a lot of dramatic shit. And my coworker was there too. And he was like, giving me looks like Jesus fuck, like, this bitch is sounding a little crazy. So we're moving on. And she's like, Yeah, I was trying to find and she just does this in front of the whole class. It's not like to the side, like privately, it's like, in front, like, she's literally dead center front of the class saying all this shit. And I am asking no questions. I have no interest on who the fuck this friend is and why the fuck she's talking about it. So then she goes, Yeah, you know, I'd show you a picture and see if you recognize him. But we're not friends on Facebook anymore. Actually, I blocked him. And my coworker goes, Man, I'm definitely not asking any more questions about this sounds pretty serious. And she's like, Yeah, well, he's kind of a piece of shit. And we're like, Okay, it's like nobody is asking you anything about whatever the fuck is going on. And then as as the class goes on, eventually, she says something about him from high school. And we're like, Jesus, fuck, like, I've been out of high school for 15 years. Like, you've had to almost be out of high school for like, pushing 20 years. And you hate this dude, and you blocked him on Facebook. And you started out saying it was your friend. And now it kind of sounds like you're not really that good of friends. So somehow this dude pissed you the fuck off. And then like, as a little sprinkle of more fucking drama, she said something about a tornado happening last year, and she once did at her friends, but her kids and the dog stayed at her piece of shit ex husband's house. And we're like, Oh, man, it looks like you're one of those people where everybody you date is crazy and an asshole, which is kind of weird, because maybe you're the fucking psycho. And so she leaves the classroom for a second, and I lean over to my coworker. I'm like, bro, this bitch is fucking crazy. And he's like, No shit, dude, I'm kind of scared. I was like, yeah, why the fuck is she talking about some random dude that pissed her off from fucking high school? And I was like, you know, I kind of want to like, look him up on Facebook and message him and be like, bro. What did you do to this crazy fucking woman? I'm in a CPR class. And she's telling the whole class basically how much she fucking hates you, but knows where you live and where you work and this and that, like what in the fuck like how unprofessional and psycho is that like, it's been almost 20 years. And you're literally like, dumping your drama on the whole fucking classroom. Like I'm just trying to learn how to save a fucking life because my job is making me and you're fucking trying to tie us into some psycho that may or may not live in the same town that I'm from. And it was just like, holy fuck. And then like, you know, the whole time she was like, just irritable as fuck. Like she must have just gotten pissed off thinking about it because she's kind of a bitch the rest of the class. Like I put the little patches on the dummy for the IED or ID that's like a bomb. The whatever the thing that electrocutes you to bring you back to life, whatever that hangs on the wall. And I put it on there, you know, in the general area, but not you know, perfect. And she comes up and she like, makes this big sigh and rips off both my patches adjust them like, slightly like it's in the right spot, but she'd like twists the orientation of the patch the way it is on that spot isn't perfect. So she like size and rips it off with like some fucking attitude and sticks it on. She's like, that's better. And I'm like, Jesus fuck, like, it's just a CPR class. Like it's gonna electrocute the guy. It doesn't matter which way the patches are fucking facing like, goddamn. And she was just like, she just like treated us like we're a bunch of fucking idiots. Half the people can't even get up off the fucking floor. And she's treating us like we're dumb asses. So there's like a part where they have this fake electric machine it actually might be IED I don't fucking know. But uh, they're fake, but they make the noise and shit just like the real one does. And she's like, okay, these things are really loud. So we need to all push the button at the exact same time so we can understand what it's saying. And I'm like, dude, half these people look like they have dementia, like it's not gonna work. And so she goes 123, do it on go not 123123 go and I'm like, holy fuck, dude, like, this is insane. Like, who cares? Just play one of them. And then we can hear what it says. And then we can all just make a bunch of noise by doing all of them at once. So you know, she does one, two, and then like a couple of the old people push it three couple more people push it go and then I push it and a couple of it so it's all just sounds like shit and it's all overlapped and sounds awful and she just gets so mad. And she's like, Oh my gosh, every time what is it with you people? And it's like, Jesus, bitch, like it's just a CPR class fucking relaxed. Like, I don't know. Like, I'm sure you're still thinking about your ex from high school in Montana and you're pissed off but don't take it out on us for fucking Christ's sake. And so and it's just like any little tiny detail we fuck up and get wrong. She just throws like a little mini hissy fit over it and get so fucking mad. And we're all just like me and my co workers sitting there like Jesus fuck this bitch is crazy as fuck. Like why the hell is she the CPR teacher? She's scary. Like, we're all going to need CPR because she's going to start killing all of us. And so I mean, we finally wrap up the entire fucking CPR class one of these dementia patients, we went to take a break before we started doing the learning how to save people that are choking. And the dude just leaves and doesn't come back like he leaves on this break. It's supposed to be a break. And he thought the class was over. So he went through all that CPR training getting up and down off his fucking knees and damn near dying just to not even get a certification because he just up and fucking left. Oh, great. Now my neighbors out here. Don't look at me. I'm embarrassed. I'm making a podcast and drinking beer in my work truck. But anyway, yeah, so this guy just straight up fucking leaves the class. So it's like, Oh, great. This is this is awesome. This is going very well. I'm going to pause this real quick. I'm embarrassed. Stop. Of course, this dude's parked right fucking next to me and he's like cleaning out his fucking truck. He either thinks I'm like, I don't, I don't even know. I don't even know what I would think if I saw somebody with full on podcast gear in his fucking work truck. Probably thinks I work for the CIA or some shit. Probably not. I'd probably look like a fucking idiot. So I'm gonna I'm gonna hold out for a little bit. I might just talk to him and tell him like, hey, bro, I'm making a podcast in my truck. You want to be on it real quick. So we'll see. He seems like a pretty chill guy. He lives like right down the hall from me. All right, neighbor's gone. He's like side eyeing the fuck out of me and I was like, you look like you're grumpy as fuck. So I don't fuck I think he's gonna come back though because it didn't look like he's wearing work shit. So let's keep going. We got 25 minutes at least that I want to keep doing this shit. I don't know. I might have to pack this shit up and I can finish it later or something. I don't fucking know. This is such a bad idea. But anyway, yeah, so the CPR classes just fucking so many weird, awkward, crazy fucking things, but I learned a lot. So that's good. I passed the class. So that's good. I don't have to go back ever again. And be around these fucking people and around psycho chick. I wish I remembered that dude's name because I really did want to message him and be like, bro, what did you do to break this woman's heart? Because it's been I know it's been almost 20 years and she still fucking hates you and she knows everything about you. So you should probably change your address and get a job somewhere else. But yeah, it was crazy. But uh, yeah, so uh, work was not great either. We got this fucking new kid. And well, he wasn't even a kid. He was like 40 something but he like didn't really know much even though he claimed he knew everything. So I was like, Hey, man, so uh, you know, we'll show you how to make some hangers and I'll have you throw up hangers. And he's like, I said I was rusty, not inexperienced. I know how to put up hangers. I know how to do this, this, this, this, this, this, this. And I was like, Okay, dude, like shut the fuck up. Do whatever the fuck you want. I don't know what to tell you. And, you know, kind of got mad at me about it. So then later, he's, we're digging a trench with this excavator. He's in the ditch picking up big rocks and throwing them out of the ditch or throwing them into the bucket. And it's like, dude, we have an excavator for this, but I appreciate your hard work and trying to kick some ass. But like that we don't need you to do that. Like get the fuck out of the ditch, you weirdo. And so he ended up getting fired because we were like 99% sure that he was using, which is really sad. It sucks. But you know, my heart goes, I have a soft spot for addicts. And it sucks. And I'm sure he's trying to just work so he can get out of this hole. He lived in his truck and shit. But it was just like, you gotta get clean or something before you try to work because we can't deal with that kind of shit. If you injure somebody or injure yourself and you're high, it's not good. It's a really, really fucking bad thing. So got rid of him. And then this other guy, you know, he's kind of chill. He's not bad. He's fun to talk to you sometimes. But he's just like, he's like trying to run my job out from under me and it got annoying. So he got moved to a different job site. But you know, he's chill. He's cool. He's just wouldn't like talking to him about anything other than work. He's chill as fuck. But when it comes to work stuff, he just he's just a lot. So that's that's what I'll say about that. Because I don't want to bad talk him. But yeah, great. More of my fucking neighbors are coming out. Whatever. Fuck them. I know I'm not the weirdest motherfucker in this fucking apartment complex. So I'm downstairs neighbor fucking nightmares. Our other neighbors are like, either crackheads or just big fat families or whatever. So I might have to plug in my laptop here soon. This truck thing was not the greatest idea, but I don't care. I'm gonna roll with it. We got 18% left. We're losing power fast. It's kind of an old laptop. But yeah, there's something about drinking a beer first thing in the morning. It just feels so right. I don't know why the fuck everything that's fun and awesome has to be illegal or frowned upon. Like I was thinking the other day, I was like, what the fuck is religion? Like the most like, you're not allowed to have fun. Because if it's too much fun, it's probably bad. Like what kind of fucking idiot thinks about that? It's probably the people that don't get to have fun because they don't get invited anywhere. And they're like, I'm gonna make a cult where doing cool fun things sucks. So it's just like, all right, you know, God invented sex, best thing ever, right? Okay, well, there's a lot of rules for it. You can't just do it with whoever whenever you want. You got to be married to him like, all right. I mean, I guess I could do that. I'll just, you know, I'll just jerk off until I get married. Oh, no, no, no, no. Can't jerk off. That's illegal too. Can't do that. That's a fucking sin. You have to not jerk off and not have sex. And it's like, what in the fuck, dude? Like, really? Really? I can't like, this is my one out to stay clean of sin. And I can't do that either. And then like, even at the college I went to, they're like, if you even imagine having sex with somebody that you're not married to, you might as well have had sex with them. So it is also a sin. And it's like, Jesus fucking Christ, are you kidding me? It's like, like, I'm going to put you in a swimming pool and you're not allowed to fucking swim. And it's like, but I'll drown. Like, you can't do it. And like, I'll just do a back float. And like, nah, it's pretty much swimming. You can't do that either. Like, what the fuck? You can't fucking drink alcohol. No, if you get drunk, you're fucked. If you get tattoos, you can't do that either. You know, your body is the house of God and you can't put graffiti on it. Like, yeah, but I like them. Or what else? Like, I'm surprised staying up late and watching scary movies isn't a fucking sin. I'm sure there's some religion out there that thinks that. Can't cuss. There's nothing in the fucking Bible. Like, I've, I haven't read the whole Bible. I've actually barely read any of the Bible, like most Christians, but at least I admit it. There's really not anything saying anything against tattoos. There's nothing against fucking watching rated R movies, because rated R movies was a bad thing in college. We weren't allowed to do that. Like, there's just all this shit where it's like, okay, I understand, don't murder somebody. Don't steal their shit. Don't lie to people. But all this other stuff, like you can't get tattoos. Some religions, you can't even like dye your hair. Like Mormons, we had Mormon neighbors and one of the kids bleached his hair and he was like excommunicated until he shaved his fucking head. Or like, cussing. Like, are you serious? Like, I understand it's rude, but I don't feel like it's a fucking sin. Like, I feel like you can cuss around your buddies. Just don't cuss around maybe children so they don't say it at school. But they just add all this extra shit. It's kind of like, it's kind of like the government when they go to pass a law and they like in their little, I don't know government terms because I hate fucking politics, but they add like a bunch of other little things along with the big one and they sneak it in there and it's like exactly how like Christianity is. It's like, okay dude, like I know, I understand these big rules, but like I really doubt that Jesus was like, no tattoos. You can't have them. It's a sin. Like, get the fuck out of here. So like anything new is bad. If you like it, it's probably bad. I remember back when like it was super, super, super frowned upon to have an electric guitar in like the music part of Sunday service. They're like, electric guitars are the devil and drums were too. Can't have drums. It was piano and acoustic guitar. And I'm sure at some point even guitarists were like, no, that's rock and roll and rock and roll is sex and drugs and fun stuff. You can't have that. So I don't know. It's just so dumb. I mean, there's even, there's this guy I worked with who's not allowed to eat pork or shellfish because in the old Testament, it says it's, you're not allowed to do that. And it's a sin. And I was like, you know, like I know a little bit about the Bible. I remember that part that was in the old Testament. That's the old Testament. Like the, those rules don't really apply anymore. He's like, no, it's part of the Bible. You got to do it. And I'm like, okay, well, also if in the same fucking chapter, I'm pretty sure it says you're not allowed to wear clothes made of different material. So if you wear cotton, it's got to be all cotton. If you're wearing denim, it's got to be all denim, you know, silk, you got to be all silk. You can't have cotton and denim and silk all in the same outfit or else it's a fucking sin. He's like, yeah, well, you know, that, you know, it was like, yeah, exactly. Like you're picking and choosing what you guys want to do. And that's what's wrong with your shit. You know, he's a really nice guy. So I didn't really say it like that. But I was just kind of like, dude, you're, you know, it's no wonder that religion is so much more popular in the deep south where like the dumber people live. Like dumb people are just like, yeah, fucking religion, you know, like, I feel like, you know, and this is a very, like, broad assumption. But it's just like, if you look at it, like, where are all the megachurches at in the fucking south? So I'm just gonna, I'm gonna leave with that fat religious people. They live in the fucking south and the most of them are pretty dumb. So and this guy is super nice guy, dumb as fuck, like incredibly not, not bright whatsoever. Great guy, though. But uh, yeah, that's all that's all I'll say about that. So I decided this last episode, we were going to do pop culture news. Because the first time I tried to do world news, and I didn't understand half the shit I was saying some about political leaders doing some shit with a big word that I don't understand. So we started doing pop culture news. So let's do pop culture top stories today on the Googles. Today.com let's take a look at how Bridgerton season three puts a new spin on the makeover trope. I don't know what the fuck a trope is. What the fuck is a trope? And who the what the fuck show even is that? It's like some fat redhead chick. Jesus fuck. Oh my god. Okay, this is the wrong website. Let's go to entertainment news. NBC, NPR, New York Times, Reddit, Entertainment Weekly. Let's take a look at that one. That's where we got the Steve Buscemi story was from entertainment news. All right, top story Dabney Coleman, villainous nine to five boss dies at 92. The revered actors credit also include war games, Tootsie, Boardwalk Empire and Yellowstone. I think I know. Yeah, I know. Yellowstone is I don't know the fuck those other ones are. He looks like a pretty classy that he looks like if you're looking at the picture I'm looking at. He looks like one of those old rich dudes that like slap women. Like that's exactly what he looks like. He looks like if his wife fucking argues with him, he just slaps the fuck out of her like those old shitty movies where they just beat women and it wasn't even a big deal. And they like actually legitimately slap these women. And I heard that sometimes they didn't even tell them it was coming. So they got their honest reaction. Like what in the fuck and that was like just chill like people just did that shit. So fucking bad. So wrong. All right, let's see what else we got Cillian Murphy Cillian Murphy is one of the creepiest, ugliest motherfuckers on the planet. Cillian Murphy is the guy from Oh, what is that stupid British fucking show with all the dumb fucking manly man memes? Fuck, let me I'm gonna Google that real quick. Hold on. Fucking Peaky Blinders. That's what it's from. Peaky Blinders guy. You know the ones it's like, I'm a lone wolf, but I fight for my friends and you know, it ain't easy being a bad motherfucker but I do it with class and grace and you know, just so stupid ass fucking memes that dudes post all the fucking time usually like the fucking shitty tattoo trailer park dudes or like the lonely ass dudes that hit on girls and then when they get rejected they get pissed at them kind of dudes I hate those fucking memes and I've never watched that show just because of the the massive hemorrhaging of shitty fucking dumb lone wolf manly man memes that comes from it but anyway Cillian Murphy will be back for 28 years later but in a surprising way says Sony Pictures chairman actually that's a pretty good movie 28 days later 28 weeks later now they're gonna 28 years later I'm kind of excited for that so I just I don't know I'm sorry Cillian Murphy if you're listening to this I'm sorry that I hate you because of that fucking show it's not even the show's fault it's the stupid fucking memes that come out of that fucking show so I'm sure Oppenheimer's good I'll go see it but you're also like a creepy looking dude you have like feminine and manly features all at the same time and it weirds me the fuck out but anyway there's the Bridgerton showrunner spills the tea on that pop question the lady whistled down of it all I don't know what that means and I really don't I'm not gonna dive into that I don't care oh man these fucking top news things are so uninteresting oh here we go P. Diddy Sean Diddy comes shown assaulting then-girlfriend Cassie Ventura in Resurface 2016 surveillance video yeah pretty wild how P. Diddy's is turning into a giant piece of shit I mean wasn't there something like they like one of his guys was the guy that killed Tupac he's got the whole and again I don't have any social media I don't have any news outlets I look at anything it's just all hearsay usually from Joe Rogan podcasts or Bill Burr podcasts or just whatever people tell me but apparently he's been doing some fucking real Epstein-y looking shit where he videotapes everybody doing this fucked up shit at his house parties and then using it as blackmail so P. Diddy's really turning into a son of a bitch isn't he how sad how sad oh we'll do one more and then we'll move on let me see it's just a bunch of shit I don't even know who the fuck they are I don't know what show it is Johnny Knoxville sued by former prank panel producer over taser incident oh Jesus fuck dude if everybody that got fucking double-crossed by Johnny Knoxville sued him he would be fucked he'd be fucked he'd probably kill himself like it's it's Johnny Knoxville it's kind of like if you hang out with the tiger at some point in your life you're probably going to get fucking scratched or mauled or killed it's Johnny Knoxville like if I ever hung out with Johnny Knoxville you just got to be on the alert and you probably just got to be ready to get your balls kicked or tased or something like I get it it probably hurts and it sucks but it's like don't hang out Johnny Knoxville if you don't want to get your shit fucked up okay I got to plug in the computer so we're gonna see if we can make this fucking roaring charger thing not scream while we keep the laptop charged you gotta turn the key here hopefully it's not too loud it's just gonna be the rest of the episode it's gonna be a little loud just don't worry about it oh let's turn the fan off it's also like starting to get hot as fuck in here it's supposed to be fucking I guess not that hot 77 but sitting in a truck with all the windows up and talking and moving around and drinking a beer it's like getting hot as fuck in here so I had the uh it was actually a nice break when homeboy was cleaning out his fucking truck and I was sitting in here because I started it and used the AC a little bit while we were waiting to start recording again but uh yeah oh yeah the cicadas are in full fucking force holy shit I uh I got a slip tank in the back of my truck brand fucking new and I decided to fill the tank up all the way full 100 gallons of fucking diesel it's like 350 dollars worth of diesel diesel which is actually cheaper than I thought it would be and um fill it all the way up and I go to the parts store and I smell diesel and I see diesel leaking onto the ground out of the bed of my truck I'm like fuck me and I look at the tank and there's this fucking hole in it and it's just pissing diesel all over the bed of my truck all over my water bottles and all my shit that's in the back of this fucking truck and diesel like doesn't go away you can't just wash it out you got to get brake cleaner and clean it out but um so diesel all over my fucking truck I end up getting the diesel and shooting it into my buddy's diesel tank because he just got a brand new one too and his was empty thank god but you know it was a little late but it was like a couple hours before I could do that so there's fucking diesel fuel all over the bed of my truck which is really shitty because the cicadas will land or jump into the back of my truck get diesel on them and then die so I got like a fucking cicada graveyard in the back of my truck and if you don't know what a cicada is it's like a housefly but like a hundred times the size of one it's like I sent a picture to my brother the other day and I put one next a couple of them next to a dime and they're like the smaller cicadas and they're like three they're probably like two or three lengths of a dime so just giant fucking flies loud as fuck I had one dive bomb my face at work the other day and they get really loud they make this like sound like really fucking loud actually that was a pretty good impression I'm pretty proud of myself for that but like right next to my face it scared the fuck out of me and every 13 I've heard seven years in 13 years there's like a giant like influx of these cicadas and they're fucking everywhere and they're usually next to the trees because they like when they're little little bugs without wings they climb up the tree and then they molt and then they have wings and they fly everywhere so there's like hundreds next to these trees when you drive by them so you got these giant pterodactyl sized flies bouncing off your windshield and into the back of my fucking truck and they're actually pretty dope looking once I get once I get a camera going I'll have to wait another 13 years but if I had a camera going I'd go grab one from outside and I'd show you guys they're fucking huge just google it and they're fucking everywhere and they're like I go on a walk at this park every other day and there's just dead smashed ones all over the fucking sidewalk they're all over stuck in my grill all over the back of my truck fucking everywhere and they're kind of dope looking because you know me I like bugs so um I was gonna see if I could find some of the molted skin stuck to the trees I saw a bunch last year this year you'd think they'd be on fucking every single tree anywhere you fucking go but I haven't gone and investigated yet there's there's some line of trees I'm looking at right now I might go try to check it out so maybe I'll make the album cover of this album some dead cicadas or a cicada molt skin thing but yeah bugs out here big cool but yeah I'm uh I'm trying I'm still trying to get an interview I'm still trying to get it worked out so if anybody from Nashville is listening to this I don't give a fuck who you are what you do I just need practice interviewing somebody so I gotta go get my gas card back from my co-worker he lives kind of close to me so when I'm over there I'm just gonna bring my podcast shit and be like bro can you please just shoot one episode with me I promise it'll be fun it'll be a good time I'll edit out anything you don't like and uh yeah like please just do this interview with me and he's funny as fuck he'd be perfect and he's half black so we can talk I can ask him I can ask him black questions because I'm from Montana and I don't know anything about nothing and I just want to ask him shit like one of my questions I want to ask him actually I'm gonna wait because I want to do in front of him I feel like if I ask a question that might come off as racist or bad since he's there I can like he can either shut me down and be like I was racist don't ask that I'll be like okay respect respect you know or you know I feel like I could just say more shit while somebody's around that's also you know not also I'm not black someone that's black so I'll wait I'm gonna try to get him to do it but I don't fucking know if he does I think he's got like a girlfriend that might be you know a little uptight or something and maybe he's worried about it which is fine I totally get that too I've had girlfriends are uptight that I wouldn't want to do a podcast just in case something gets mentioned then they listen to it and then it's a whole hell of listening to them being pissed off so but uh we'll try that out I got another old co-worker that might maybe do it he's just nervous and he's funny as fuck too so I don't know I think once I get a couple interviews in people will relax and see that it's not that big of a deal it's not scary I think they imagine like a three-hour Joe Rogan podcast and it's not going to be like that it's literally going to be like maybe a fucking hour so um yeah hopefully we get some of those soon hopefully I get enough money to where I can throw it at a fucking camera maybe get some fucking video footage podcast going I know I enjoy watching those more it also helped me out because then I can take a clip and I can put on Instagram Facebook TikTok shit like that like funny parts so we'll see hopefully hopefully we can make that happen sooner rather than later so these these solo podcasts by myself are really fucking tough it's a lot harder than you think it would be like at least on TikTok live there's people like writing messages so I can do that shit and like talk to them like that way but also this is the fifth episode so we're about to launch this shit I mean it's not going to make sense listening to this after it's already launched but uh like I'm really excited to launch this I got to finish all my accounts I got to get it all ready and then I'll do the final launch and I will set up a way to message me and ask questions comments whatever and um you'll be able to do that so I'll probably just put it on all the websites like ask questions here and I'll have like an email or somewhere to go to where you guys can chime in and I can read your shit and we can go from there maybe even someday if I start pulling any kind of money on here I'll just buy shit and the best comment or a poll question or something like that wins some kind of weird prize like a box full of dead cicadas or something along those lines so but the sun just came out and I am hot as fuck I'm sweating my fucking balls off so I'm going to end this podcast and thank you so much for joining another episode of cockles of the heart my little cocklings so have a great day