The Life I Want to Lead (1)

The speaker discusses their desire to live an authentic life, transcending their ego and spending more time in their right brain, being creative and mindful. They reflect on their past struggles with ego and the need for achievement to feel self-worth. Now, they aim to live a life dedicated to the Creator, discovering their true self and becoming a loving, authentic human being. They anticipate great opportunities in various aspects of life and are humbly preparing for the journey ahead. I wanted to record about the life I want to lead, and what it is at a high level, and this has, I guess, been the theme of all these talks, is a fully authentic life, a life where I transcend my own ego, still being there, I still hear its voice, but I transcend it. And I spend more time in my right brain, just living in the moment, being creative, and being mindful. And it's just that my life is an ongoing quest of just challenging myself, learning about myself, uncovering the layers of myself through taking risks, being humble, being grateful, finding creative ways to give love to other people. Everything I give into this world, if it's creativity, productivity, love, I'll get back. So when I look at my adult life, it's really been a, you know, I had probably a search during university and you try things and you can kind of say that was all okay, but if I look at the last 10, 11 years of my working life, it's really been about the ego. When I was young, I got my ego hit and my sense of self-worth from being best at sport and then investing myself in music, and then it was school, and then it was first year or two of uni, it was joining groups and winning debating competitions. I had to prove myself to have this sense of self-worth. I had to achieve or else I wasn't worth anything as a person, and now I know that I don't need to do that. The bigger game is one of transcending that ego need and actually just being a fully authentic person. If you look at my adulthood, it's just been this battle with my ego. Just continual self-doubt, questioning, finding satisfaction through sex and alcohol and food and just trying to find refuge in TV and being really lived out at a very sort of low level of consciousness, just sort of battling and often succumbing to the ego. I want to live a life from this point on that is giving my life to the Creator, to God, and what He wants me to do is live it in its full authenticity, find out truly who I am, transcend my ego, take risks, just become a fully authentic, loving human being, living from the heart. I want to be more creative, more upright-brained, living in the moment, and I know that there's big things coming in all areas of my life, spiritually, with all my relationships, just the opportunities in business, in investment, in work, the power is going to be enormous. Just the power in doing acts of kindness, there's an extraordinary life there for me waiting to be had. I don't predetermine what that will lead to or where the journey will take, that's up to the universe, but what an extraordinary journey. And this is done in all humility, I've had this insight, I've had an enlightening moment, I've had an experience, that's a fact. Where it leads, nobody knows, and I haven't, I'm very conscious I haven't achieved anything yet. But I'm preparing myself, and soon I'll go back into the real world, and we'll go from there.