Bridee Burks Podcast

This podcast is about weddings and the host, Bridie Burks, loves weddings. She is joined by Abby Merzlach, a wedding photographer and videographer, who shares her experience and tips for planning a special day. Abby started as a hobby in high school and now has her own business. She mentions that weddings have become more like a photo shoot, but she prefers capturing candid and real moments. Abby also talks about the importance of making the wedding day personal and not just catering to the guests. She mentions that more intimate weddings and non-traditional elements are becoming popular. Overall, the podcast focuses on incorporating personal details into a budget-friendly wedding. Hello and welcome to the podcast all about weddings. I'm your host Bridie Burks and I honestly just love, love so much and weddings are one of my favorite things in the whole wide world. So we're going to talk about weddings, decor, venues, dresses, food, photographers, traditions, mostly how to incorporate all the details you want on your special day into your budget. Today I'm joined by one of my favorite people in the world, Abby Merzlach. She's a local wedding photographer and videographer. She has seen it all when it comes to weddings. I asked Abby to come and join us and share a little bit about her experience, some of her favorite wedding things that she's seen and some stuff that she doesn't like at weddings and also to add some tips and tricks when it comes to planning your special day. Hi Abby and welcome. We're so happy to have you. I'm ready. Thanks for having me today. Of course. All right, tell us a little bit about what you do, how long you've been doing it, all the fun things. You own your own business. Abby makes films. Is that what you call it? I love it. It's so cute. Yeah, just tell us a little bit about that and how you got started, I guess, and all the fun things. So it's kind of funny how I got started. My mom used to be a wedding photographer and I used to follow her around with the camera all of middle school, all of high school and I'd be like her second shooter almost, but it was more just like to watch me because I needed something to do. But then I realized that I fell in love with it because it was just the happiest moments of people's life. So I was like, you know what, I want to do this. Like this is so fun. So I kind of started doing it just as a hobby in high school. And then I went on my mission. And then after high school, it kind of turned into my career. And now I've been doing it for like two years. That's so awesome. And you're so talented. Thank you. So talented. Yeah. Super awesome. She's so good. She's actually doing my wedding in a couple months and I'm very excited. I'm so excited. That's awesome. All right. Well, let's just dive in. So how many weddings do you think you've really done in your career? This year, I'll hit 70 weddings. That is crazy. Yeah, that's so much too. And that's like all your weekends. Yeah. And I'm sure that it takes up a lot of time, like not just weekends, like you're editing all the time and everything. That's awesome. Well, let's see. What is some of like the wedding or like your favorite wedding traditions or your big favorite wedding trends? Something that you like have loved maybe in recent years or just as you've gone on in your career and everything, like one of your favorite things that you've seen in weddings? Okay. One thing I've noticed this year and actually the last couple of years of doing weddings is that it's turned into such a photo shoot, like your wedding day is a photo shoot. And I just don't think that's how it should be. And so my favorite thing that I've seen this year so far is the more I'm sure a lot of you guys have heard of it, but the documenter style and just getting pictures like as you go, less posy, less. Yeah. You have to get one with every single person in your family. Like the photographer getting, yeah, pictures like, are you talking with your grandma or hugging your grandma? Like more things like that, like you can feel the moment more than like cell posts. And then again, like I understand like you do want those post pictures, like you want them with your parents and your sisters. But like I've seen that last year and I think it just brings a whole different element to the wedding. It's so real. And then you just like feel like less, I feel like you are going to feel less stressed on your wedding day. Yeah. Like make sure you've gotten pictures with everyone, but if you're like real and in the moment, then you're kind of more relaxed and like, you know what? Like I'll get it when I get it. Yeah. And it's probably nicer for you guys. I feel like then to like, I don't know, feel the stress of that, like making sure you are capturing all the people instead of you're just like whatever happens, happens and you'll capture that. That's really cool. Yeah. That's awesome. So especially for grooms even like, let's be so real, like grooms hate taking pictures. Oh my gosh, no. And so many of them have been like, oh, I didn't know my wedding day was a photo shoot. And I'm like, I don't want them to think that, like I don't want them to just enjoy their time with their bride. Absolutely. And just be in the moment. That's why like I also love like the idea of like the first look before, like even if, I don't know, just like the first look before and then you can have that intimate moment with them and then. Yeah. Absolutely. So intimate. Yeah. I hate that because I feel like it's your special day. You want to enjoy your day. And it's like, I don't know, for me, if my significant other is not enjoying his day, like it makes me more stressed and like less enjoy it and everything. So I feel like if they're doing good, then I'm doing good. Exactly. But I don't want them to feel like it's such a like, stand here, take these pictures. Now, like, yeah, our wedding day, we have to have all these pictures. Yeah. And honestly, like, I mean, you'll look at them a couple of times. You'll have those posts and have the family pictures that are like super nice to put places in your parents will want them. Your grandparents will want them. But honestly, like you're going to want the ones that are real. And like the candidates are so fun. Yeah. And like the actual happy moments, like captured and said, just like, oh, this is just a picture. I've seen kind of like what was was the intention behind the picture. I think it's so important. Yeah. What about like video stuff, like kind of same thing, like the candid videos are like super fun. Yeah. And I feel like that's honestly why it's changed into documentary style is because videos became so big the last couple of years. And so people realize like, oh, they're all moments actually tell a story. Absolutely. Yeah. And those are like fun to look at, too, is just because like you're moving and there's more of just like this and like more than just a standing there like portrait photo. Yeah. So that's super cool. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. How about like how about like any like untraditional things that you've seen brides do like exit wise or like venues or anything like I know, like more locally here as like LDS weddings, like less of a sit down, enjoy a meal like that's more of a traditional kind of wedding thing, but it's more like a line where you have just like an opportunity to talk to everyone, eat when you want kind of buffet style food. Do you like enjoy those kind of things when as a wedding videographer, photographer? Yes. So this like I said, this area has very many LDS weddings, which makes the line. And I am so I'm not a fan of the line. Yeah, I get it for like, let's say like 30 minutes. But like, I love the tradition of you just going and talking to all your people and you. I don't know. I feel like making the wedding day exactly how you want is very untraditional because I feel like the past couple of years it's been like you catered to the guests and that is not how it should be. I think it's somewhat much cooler if they cater to you because it's your wedding day. I think we focus so much on trying to make the day good for everyone else. But like for me, I get my social battery runs out. I don't want to sit and talk to people for an hour in the line and ask where you're going on your honeymoon. It's like I say just like walk around and have them talk to you or you go sit at the table and they can come to you. I love that. Yeah, the idea. Let's come. Yes. Yeah, that's so fun. I know. I love like the lighthearted wedding. Just doing your own thing and kind of breaking those traditions because for me, I've seen a lot of weddings that are like, OK, you do the ceremony and then you go to your cocktail hour and then you go to your reception where you have your big sit down dinner and it's a five hour long process before you even get to celebrate and really dance and mingle and have a good time. And I don't know. I just love the like, let's talk to everyone. Let's have a good time like that party. And I don't know. I just really love that new tradition. I don't know if you've seen a lot of weddings like that because like the area, I don't feel like there's a whole lot of weddings like that where that big sit down dinner and everything. I definitely when I go anywhere else, it's more like that. But, you know, here people are steering more towards it. And I think it's because like allotments have been such a big push this year is like the more intimate wedding. So I think people are just trying to incorporate, incorporate more intimate things into their wedding. And so that is something I love is just. Yeah, totally. I think that's super awesome. Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny that things are just changing, like the traditions change and everything. And like when my parents were married, it's like, oh my gosh, that was so taboo to like think of doing anything like that. But now it's like you just do whatever you want. It's really your day. Like make it your own, which is awesome. I'm so big on that. Make it your own because this is your day. Absolutely. You know, you don't know. Sorry if I offend anyone, but you do not have to do it for your mom or your mother in law or your sister in laws or your sisters or your best friends. Like if you want to do it, you do it. And if they question it, that's on them. Yeah. And totally. And going back to like kind of another theme of like this podcast is like your budget. And like we live in a really tough economy right now. But like your day is your day. Like make it your own and like look at your budget and like incorporate the things that you want to. And like if you have to prioritize things over the other, but like do it as a couple and make it really your own. Like, yeah, it's really tough to say like, don't do it for your mom because it's like, I don't know. At least my mom has a big opinion. But I know that like there's some people that can just be like, you know what? Nope, I really want to do this. Or like, then do it. Do it for yourself. Do it for your significant other. Have a fun time with it. That's awesome. All right. Anything that like you've seen that you just haven't liked? I mean, we talked about like the pose photos and everything. And I know like that's a big thing of like, it's definitely going away from that wedding style now and everything. But is there anything else that you're just like, other than the line? I guess we've talked about things that we really don't like too, didn't we? But is there anything else that you're just like, that just is like almost a waste of money or kind of a waste of energy or time or whatever like that you've seen really? I'll be honest. I don't want to take away from anyone's talents making wedding cakes. I do not think we need some extravagant cake that you take one bite out of. No, I totally agree. Because I've never even had another piece of wedding cake. I've watched people do it. And I'm like, does anybody else even eat that cake? No. And it can be like three, four hundred dollars. I know. And I'm like, seriously, if you can find someone that can make you like a $30 cake and just decorate it cute. Absolutely. And I think it's so much fun. Like even making the cake of the day before. Yes, that's such a good idea. And that's another thing I've actually seen that I love is brides making their bouquets with their bridesmaids like the day before. And just making them all like funky and fun. I've seen that. And I think that's so cute. Yeah. No. And it's also a super good way to save money. Like go to the grocery store, pick up some flowers and like go back and make your own bouquets with your bridesmaids and everything. Like that's such a good idea and fun way to like kind of bond to before the wedding. Yes. And again, it like makes those intimate moments that you have like with your bridesmaids and those people that you love. And it's so fun. Absolutely. Yeah. And it's not so cut and dry too. It's like then everyone's is different. Yes. It's just so unique and so your own. But I totally agree. Like for my wedding, we're doing a cinnamon roll. Oh, I love that. That's awesome. I can't wait. Because I feel like people might want to eat that a little bit more, you know. And I know sometimes too, when the cakes are like so nice, it's like, oh, I don't want to eat that. Like, I don't want to touch that. Like, I feel like that's theirs. You know, I feel like, kind of a touchy subject if you want to actually touch it. But yeah, that's super cool. I love those like new traditions like that and everything. But yeah, let's see anything else. Like, have you seen any trends like outside of this area that you love? Like, I know you've shot in probably Utah, like wherever you travel to shoot weddings. A lot of them like Jackson Hole, Utah, all over. All over, I know. But one thing I've seen a lot lately, I think is so sweet, is doing a first dance with your mom. Because like, you always have something for your dad. Like, you always have to dance with your dad and like, all that. But like, I think doing that for your mom has been helping you plan. Like your dad too, of course, they all help. But like, you know what I mean? Just having that first dance with your mom too, I think is so sweet. Especially like, everyone's different. Everyone's relationships with their parents are so different too. But like, your mom is there for a lot throughout your life. And so like, for her to get that special moment with you, I think is super cool and super special. I love that. I've seen that a couple places too. But yeah, that's super awesome. Okay, so talking wedding budgets, like, oh my gosh, I know at least for mine and for a couple of my friends, like, in this area, I feel like weddings are super prominent. So it's like, not as bad. And I think people are kind of more understanding, at least vendors are, I feel like. But I know in some areas, and some people, like, their budgets are having to be crazy. Because like, vendors are so expensive. Like, you can't get a venue for like, less than $10,000. It's so crazy. And you feel like you have to resort to a backyard wedding. And that might not be feasible for people if they don't have the opportunity or the land or whatever. And I don't know, have you seen anything like that, where it's just been kind of a budget thing, where like, budgets are tight. So you have to kind of resort to some of these things. Have you seen anything like that recently? Yes, I have, especially with, I don't know, like, little details, people have to take them out because of their budget. And I just think that like, it's so sad, because I'm like, your budget shouldn't determine like, what kind of day you have. You know what I mean? And I've been thinking about this a lot lately, but I just think that we spend a lot of money in things that we're not going to remember in a year from our wedding day. Oh my gosh, totally. I totally agree. Like, I've been to a couple weddings, like, even a couple years ago, like, the table runners, like, no one is going to remember what color they were, or if you had flowers or pictures on your table. Exactly. I know. And like, the grand scheme of things, like, that does not matter. And like, of course, it's going to make your space look nice. And it obviously depends on like, wherever you are at, like, if you have to like, transform a, like, a not so like, just easily beautiful or like, already beautiful space into like, something that's like, super nice already. But it's going to depend on what you have to do. But like, in all honesty, like, no one is literally going to remember that. They might remember your food. And that might be where you want to like, spend more money. Yeah. Whatever you think like, you guys want in that day, like, that is where your attention and your like, money should go. Yes. As a couple deciding that like, I think deciding like, overall, like, what experience you want to have, like, is so good. Like, yeah. So like, the first like, step and like, okay, do I want to be more intimate? Or do I want to be more extravagant? Like, yeah, obviously, like, depending on your budget, like what you can do is really important to decide there. But I don't know, I think like, just like, spending money on like, such little of like, the little things. That's what I was gonna say. It's just so like, I don't know. It's also like, going away too. Yes. I'll just like, have a good time. Like, I'd rather spend more money on my entertainment or my like, things that I'm providing for my guest or do I want to spend it on decor and little party favors or whatever, you know? Yeah. I totally agree with that. Like, don't sweat the little things. Yeah. Like, if you're so worried about like, the little things in your budget, I'd say just take it out. Yeah. Truthfully, because I'm like, people do not remember these things. But the things you think you'll remember, that's where I think you should put your money and focus your budget in. Like, absolutely. Not even to like, self-promote, but like, and a good photographer. Like, if you're, if you want good pictures, like, the rest of the stuff really doesn't matter. Absolutely. Like, yeah, put your money in things that are like, a good DJ. If you're, if you want it to be super fun, put your money in that. The little things, like, you don't. Absolutely. And it's gonna depend on like, your personality. 100%. What you want, really, and stuff. But I totally agree. Like, I mean, for me personally, like, having those memories, like, captured, like, in a photographer and videographer is really important. Having a nice, like, space. Yeah. Like, like, I just want to party. Like, I just want to have a great time. And you can bust down. Yeah. For sure. But like, I just think that having like, a great space and like, a great like, environment kind of atmosphere is super important. So like, the little things like, the cake, I'm not gonna do. Yeah. Like, I'm gonna have pizza. I love that. I think like, those things are just gonna be so fun. Like, I think, eat if you want, eat if you don't want. Like, those things are just kind of what I'm gonna do. But like, it all depends on each bride and like, what your priorities are. And so I think like, remembering that and like, again, not pleasing everyone. Because you're not, you will never please everyone. And that is just impossible. So I think like, always just remembering those things are probably the best pieces of advice for staying on budget or anything like that. Yeah. And like, the nice part like, with the budget is like, you can ask for help. Like, you'd be surprised how many people are willing to help you. Like, if you do have like, a slimmer budget, or like, you want to stay like, very strict to your budget, or if you want leftover money, like, however that looks to you. Because I know everyone's is different. Like, ask for help, because people are so willing to help. If you have a friend that has decorations for her wedding, like, ask her, or thrift some stuff. Like, I love thrifting glasses and things like that. And you can stay on your budget and keep table runners. Like, they don't even remember. Like, you don't need like, the most expensive things. Absolutely. And I feel like with social media, there's like, so many good ideas like, for staying on budget. And like, look at some of those. Like, you really don't have to like, stay to tradition. Like, you can like, branch out. It's okay. I mean, obviously, like, if you have parents that are like, this is how we do it. This is how we do. Like, I mean, you might need to respect that. But also, just like, remember that it is your specialty, no matter what they say. Like, yeah. And that's the thing. And like, if you just talk to them, I feel like they'll be understanding. And like, it's all about compromise. Like, that's what it's all about. You and your husband, and your parents, and his family, all the different traditions would come into it. Because yeah, you do want to make people happy. And you do want to respect like, their budgets and like, things like that. Totally. Absolutely. Oh my gosh, so good. Any other advice? Like, I know we've talked about a couple different things and everything. But any other advice you could have for couples that are trying to stay on budget and not make it a super big concern or whatever? Even if they have like, a super nice budget, but they still kind of maybe want to save some money, some of that money for a down payment or anything. Like, I mean, in this day and age, some weddings are getting crazy. I was just talking to someone that was spending $32,000 on a wedding. And I was just like, wow, that is crazy that this day and age is like, requiring people to do that if they want to incorporate some of like, the main things that they've always dreamed of. And I mean, for me, I've like, always had the pictures board of like, what I want my wedding to look like, right? And so like, I don't know. And now that it's coming time for people to like, really like, implement those things and they're realizing like, oh my gosh, this is a little bit less feasible than I thought. Like, that's super kind of heartbreaking. But I mean, do you have any other advice for people that are trying to kind of save money or maybe put some money away or anything like that? Honestly, I feel like it's just like, kind of what I talked about before. Like, just don't sweat the small things. Like, a cake cutter and a, like, yes, you need those things. But I'm like, you don't need to spend like, more than five bucks on that stuff. You know what I mean? Or just like, if you have a friend that's like, really good at something, ask if they'll help you with it with cutting out a wood sign or canva. Canva is your best friend. You can find so many things to do on there and make it your own and make it more fun. Or have someone that like, you do know how to do that, just do that for themselves instead of buying it off like, some big website. Totally. I totally agree. Oh, we'll just throw in a random question here. Do you have any ideas for like, I don't know, a cool like, dress? I feel like a dress can be like, a big concern for some brides when they like, are looking at their budget and then are like, oh my gosh, well that is gonna cost me crazy. Like, have you seen any like, really cool like, trends where people do something like, totally out of the norm that like, kind of cost them a little bit less or anything? Actually, yes. I've actually realized a lot lately that finding a local but really good like, seamstress to make your dress is the way to go. Yeah. Because, or even if you have like, a base dress that you like and there's a really expensive one you've seen, get the base dress of like, the parts you want and then have like, a local seamstress like, yeah, put it, piece it together. Yeah, exactly. To like, make it exactly how you want and it's always cheaper because like, big wedding brands always, you know, they need their profit, which I understand, but they double or triple the actual cost of it. And I feel like in every little town there's those like, little mom and pop like, dress stores. And I feel like those are easy to find. Maybe you have a grandma or someone that is like, super good at that. And I'm all about supporting local like, because they like, they love those projects and they're so talented at it and they do just as good as like, any other type of seamstress from a big brand. That's such a good idea. I'm glad I threw that in there. That was fun. Oh, another one. Even like, Vels. Okay, Vels go for like, $300 at bridal shops. You can literally find the exact same ones on Etsy for like, 30 bucks. That's crazy. But they've seen a lot of brides do it recently and like, it saves them literally like, $200. Because like, on Etsy it's like, the base price. Or like, even Amazon. Yeah. Get on Amazon, get a base Vels and like... No one's gonna tell. Yeah, no. No one cares. No one, yeah. No one's gonna tell except you. And then you can make it your own too. I'm all about making it your own. Yeah, and then you can put that money like, somewhere else. Somewhere you really want it to go. Yeah, I think that's super awesome. That's a really good piece of advice. I never even thought about that. I think just doing research online will save you a lot. Like you said, like, that will save you a lot of money and just like, find... If you went to a bridal shop and found the exact dress you want, take a picture of it and then look online and see if you can find it anywhere. It's just a little bit cheaper. I've seen so many people do that and it saves them so much money. So then you can fit more in your budget. That's so smart. That's really, really smart. Awesome. Well, anything else that you like, have or want to talk about? I know that you're growing your career so good. It's so amazing. Thank you. I love watching you. You're so sweet. You're thriving and I love it. But yeah, if you ever need a photographer or videographer, hit up Abby Makes Films. She's amazing. You ever need a dance partner? Yeah. I love it. Awesome. Well, thank you for listening and thank you, Abby, for your wonderful insights today. I've loved having you on today. I hope that through this podcast, you're inspired or maybe even we sparked a new idea for your wedding day. For more content, you can subscribe to this podcast at Bridie Burke's on Substack. Thanks again. Thank you.