cover of What Makes Different Women Stand Out?

What Makes Different Women Stand Out?

What Makes Different Women Stand Out?

Branded and Tailored

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00:00-49:23

Transcription

The speaker starts by mentioning a funny incident with Siri defining confidence. Then they discuss their dating experiences and a powerlifting competition they attended. They also complain about parking tickets and share stories about getting pulled over for speeding. The speaker then transitions to discussing the demographics of their podcast viewership and shares feedback from male friends about what makes women stand out. The speaker and their friend react to the feedback, with a focus on the importance of a genuine smile. about to say like did they just Google like hey Google hey Siri define confidence this is a phone call one don't do it Siri was about to give you the definition I don't really need it yeah this was a this is a phone call one hi love welcome to another episode of branded and tailored I want to start off the episode by saying I have a quick update so a way that will not wait back because this is only episode 3 but I think episode 1 when we were sharing different stories I'll refer to him as snack daddy or the lack of snack daddy so lately I've been just going on the dating apps for fun and kind of seeing like the funny props I found I found him on tinder and I kid you not it says for his career or things that he aspires to be ironically is they will want to be chef like sir how can you be a chef if you're missing the main ingredient long time ago to bring over snacks and yet like how are you gonna be a chef you don't have food he's looking for a woman to come over and bring food right now baby I got lucky charms and that's about it I got hands I got a bowl I got a spoon here we go I don't know I don't know you might need to borrow your kitchen to apparently so but anyway pretty so you went to a competition over the weekend we share how was that experience that was fun it was an all female powerlifting competition our flight ended up just being 11 people so it was literally just one flight 11 people it was the second day of the competition so it was really nice because there wasn't a ton of people back up in the warm-up room and everybody kind of got to talk to each other and the different coaches got to talk to my coaches athletes got to talk to athletes it was really nice and I think especially for that being my friends first competition that it was a good experience for her not getting too overwhelmed because some of the bigger means can end up being like crazy where there's 60 athletes going through and it's just boom boom boom boom boom right which this wasn't that way so it was fun she did nine for nine so nine successful lifts nine lifts and got white lights on everything so that means all the judges said everything was good so it's really great and then the really cool thing is that one of the big female power lifters up in the Northeast was actually at this competition and she did a 581 pound squat Wow so I got to see that that's really cool yeah my girl shoot I don't think I've never seen anybody do that ever I saw her at the last competition we went to two and just like watching her warm up to get ready to lift just makes me feel like I can run through a wall and I said that to other people and they're like yeah yeah you know it's funny I used to work with this one student who was the strongest man in Florida at a high school like I mean just I don't know one some kind of big lifting competition obviously and like was debating on whether to go play football in college or go on and do like power lifting and be a power lifter in like the next upcoming Olympics chose football and I remember he got a boot on his car for getting so many parking tickets the man ripped off the boot off the car oh like are you kidding me and it was so funny cuz his parents like we're just I don't know just so it was just like a hilarious situation cuz not only did he had to pay all the parking tickets but he had to still had to pay for the broken boot too like why didn't you just pay for the pass it equals out to all this other havoc that you just did for yourself so he just didn't have a pass that wasn't that he was parking place he wasn't supposed to yeah right exactly story of a lot of college students ironically but yeah let's do everything for them registering for a parking pass is a whole difficult five minute process but you know to be fair I parking people are the worst people I think on the planet especially early on in college would be like five minutes over in an hour zone and the ticket is already there when he gets the car and they're not there hey hands down hands out I when I got hired first at this institution like my second day I got a parking ticket I'm like I didn't even get my email yet and you're already gonna give me a parking ticket crazy I will stand on this till the day I die they are the worst individuals on the planet they don't they don't give anybody happiness whatsoever their job whenever they wake up in the morning is how can I ruin everybody's day by giving oh I'm gonna go out there and I'm gonna ruin everybody's day and write parking tickets my favorite one was one year what they do here a lot of times is you get a printable one and then you get mailed a plastic one and they have been completely backed up with getting the plastic permits out to people the parking authorities had to know this but I got off to the car and I had a warning for improper display because I only had the paper up instead of the plastic and I'm like y'all know this like why did you waste time printing this and putting it on my car it's your fault again they're just awful individuals I have the past yep yep just want to ruin everybody's day bring no happiness and not even like a money standpoint like I bet the revenue is really not that big I don't know but still I mean it's not like they're not making money off of tuition and everything else right oh yeah come on I shouldn't fees it's included in your student fees what does this mean can I have an itemized list of my fees right that's what I'm just anyway I want to meet some of them and see how they feel about writing tickets all day I know some of them gotta be like oh probably I'm sure like man they probably get a power trip over it like you're two minutes over but I'm gonna get right now if I don't write you up so I don't feel good about this but like here's a note on your car I hope you have a great day smiley face oh my god what if they have a quota I bet they do like oh man I I need to meet my quota this month I better write out 12 tickets today oh yeah I bet oh fun thing too I didn't mention this but when we were leaving to go out of town we had to run back to her house cuz she forgot to pick up the bring the sandwiches 20 yards from her house we pulled over caught Bruce beating and she got a ticket oh yeah she didn't try to fake cry no I wouldn't I would have at least like I'm so sorry I play dumb when I've gotten pulled over and it's worked so far but she wasn't as lucky oh I'm just like I was speeding where um I don't where's that oh you're you're going 22 over ooh that's fast yeah I got pulled over it's been a minute now watch I'm gonna get pulled over tomorrow but like I got pulled over yeah like maybe three years ago or so for speeding I wasn't even like in my mind speeding but obviously it was because I got a ticket and here I am like okay just like be sad be mopey like hopefully it's a guy cop and comes out it's girl cop like there's no way I'm getting out of this yeah my last two times have been it's not close to more than 20 miles per hour over the limit I didn't get tickets yeah I think that instant I was maybe like seven miles over yeah like the cop of even reasonable all right like I was leaving the state park getting ready to accelerate and got me all right whatever it's fine I was just really hungry I wanted my Sarah's bit burger and fries but fun I love when they do write tickets and they say well you were going at 17 over but I only decided you for five so I saved you money no $1.50 ticket for going five over the speed limit um can you think about this it seems a little excessive right but I saved you money I saved you money I saved you points well the point said that's what you said you said you it'll be so many points blah blah blah if you get pulled over again you're gonna lose your license I'm doing you a favor and I look at the ticket I was like eek whoa great we get us off to a great start right right exactly so we've been looking at our viewership and the demographics of it so age breakdown sex breakdown and we're sitting about a half and half male and female so actually this is a great time because this past week I asked some of my guy friends things that make different women stand out and I got some surprisingly really great feedback a lot more serious feedback than I thought that I'd actually get so just for context these men are age range early 20s to mid 30s and vary a lot in their dating experience but some of them don't really have much dating experience all the way to being divorced with children and there were some definite common themes in there but I also noticed with some of the older men and men with more relationship experience that there were some things that only they said that they really think makes certain women stand out so I thought that was really interesting because I feel like a lot of this would apply to everybody that I talked to but they made it a point to put it on their list of things so excited to hear it we're gonna have Taylor blind react to the feedback that I got so she has no idea what's on this list I told her the big kind of main themes but she doesn't know any of the details I'm so nervous I hate not knowing but here we are let's do it genuine genuine feedback on her part so I'm going to start with the more he he ha ha am I allowed to put this on the list kind of thing okay all the light stuff so this is kind of cute nice smile was a big one oh you know what that is my number one treat I look for in a guy that's he brushes teeth I mean honestly like honest to God like your smile I mean your teeth are like the window to your internal health so actually for real for real so like for me like when I see a guy's smile and it's like you know why and they obviously look like they take care of themselves their their breath is good hopefully I don't need to get like too close to like really smell it just you know they're right right so yeah let me back that up um but yeah like that's the very first characteristic I look forward to guys whenever they're talking like ooh do they have a nice smile and if they don't and they're all jacked up and they're yellow like yeah thing or missing yeah you your tongue looks like it's in jail and I'm sorry next because if you're not taking care of yourself then what are you gonna do for me as your partner and also like you'll use your partner's mouth anyway so good smile I resonate with that okay this second one really hurt my feelings this is the one guy on the list that actually has an active partner who's engaged getting married soon and I'm in the wedding and the thing that he said was bedroom eyes and I think my soul fell out of my butt because I realized that his fiancee does have bedroom eyes and now every time I look at her I'm gonna be like she wants to have sex with me oh don't really hurt my feelings she's great love her exceeds expectations as friends partners but like I can't unsee it now and I'm devastated oh yeah I mean I still have to mention it because this one hurt my feelings oh gotcha gotcha yeah now you're like I can't get that image out of my head oh could you look at people's eyes when you talk to them and now I'm just gonna picture that like her in that yeah yeah yeah yeah you can't unsee that we're gonna be in the room getting our hair and makeup done I'm gonna like make sure you accentuate the bedroom eyes hmm there you go what's the next one big boobies for guys they look for big boobies yes yeah that was the only item on this one's list I didn't get good feedback from him okay this one was not not big booty oh we're getting to that oh we're getting to that okay this one I got a 10 item real list of things and then he said am I allowed to say booty and I said yeah you can say whatever you want he says okay squat booty and she actually hits up her body okay okay see like a majority of the guys that I know want a big booty girl boobs like it's it's nice but doesn't have to be there and big and whatever I don't know if I'm gonna be a lesbian I'm gonna be selfish and I'm gonna want both because your boobies are by your face so if I'm looking at your face and you are not close then I'm gonna see those and your face at the same time so I want those to be aesthetically pleasing for me but also if you're facing the other way I want to like what I see really fit girl that like takes care of herself is gonna do the squats it's gonna do the lunges it's gonna have like a nice back end it's gonna look different right right your chest area like there's some fit girls that will like I mean like me like I'll try to pump and it's like look this is what you get I think he was also making fun of me with a big boobies comment but that's fine but that's fun but I think the booty says more about like your general habits and overall well-being more than your boobies right right boobies are bags yeah okay so that was the the end of the like kind of sarcastic like not totally completely serious comments that I got which is not okay I mean I can see a lot of that so the big kind of main topic with a lot of feedback underlying I assigned these topics myself was self-presentation so how a woman presents herself to the world so the first ones have to do with the teeth again but personal hygiene mm-hmm that was a big one came up a lot across age ranges like take care of yourself Oh hundred percent understandable another one that I didn't know that I was maybe I just don't have great expectations but like how she talks so does she come across as intelligent how she dresses so again parents how much skin does she show off solid shoe game is a must so Taylor's killing on here there we go I love my shoe game I'm struggling but Taylor's killing another one was the way a room reacts to her presence oh okay did not really think I was gonna get one of those so like are people drawn to her do they want to be around her like how does a room react to her being there I did not expect a man to say this got it um I like that her presence around my friend group so does she get along with my friends and vice versa this is something Taylor and I've talked about a lot um your partner should get along with your best friend everybody doesn't have to be best friends but if they don't get along and they don't gel like something's wrong at least coexist yeah exactly for sure yeah like something's wrong with the best friend or something wrong with the boyfriend or partner if people can't be around each other yeah they're just searching for conflict searching for trouble yeah nobody wants to be around those kind of people something needs to be evaluated if that's the situation right right another one was how she talks to other men okay is she super flirty or not or okay okay and then how she talks about treats other women okay yep yep 100% is she a gossiper is that what they were kind of going towards okay yeah I guess she's supportive of other women or does she gossip and it's like is she rude got it yeah or is she just a nice person that's approachable I've been told I'm not approachable but I mean you're approachable for me yeah but you're a confident woman there you go we'll get to what confidence means to the men that I asked because interesting feedback there yeah I like that and I can agree with all those statements like I resonate that for whenever I'm looking for a guy as well right um maybe not so much I guess I didn't really think about how they enter a room how people would be drawn to them and I mean I guess it just depends on it depends on the situation I mean if it was like a huge party like I'm probably I'm a very social being I'm probably going to be out and about socializing like myself I'm not gonna pay attention about who's entering or not and how the room is like you know accepting your presence or not I'm just not I'm just hey hi like I might as well be the hostess of the party because I'm just greeting everybody and having a great old time but it was not the one sitting back seeing what's going on she's in it yeah I'm in it I'm in the thick of it but I mean it might be people watching here and there I don't know I'm very mood dependent like I'm in the middle of it or I'm sitting there just being back in the corner yeah so yeah I mean definitely you would want it I mean at least for me I would want a positive person so I really resonate with not trying to find somebody that's gonna gossip or bring people down or talk negatively about other people like you know especially if I'm just meeting you and you just want to bash so-and-so that whatever the capacity is so so that's part of our friend group or this person that you know of duh-duh-duh like no like I don't really want to connect with you in that kind of way I want to connect with you in a positive way because I want to form a positive relationship with you so I totally get it right and do you want to be with somebody who nobody wants to be around all right high-energy positive people you walk into your room people say please leave my friends don't like you hey you're very flirty with other people and people the same sex like they just don't like you so all right all right and then the appearance thing like I find that interesting but I mean I also get it too like you don't I mean maybe if I were a guy I really wouldn't want to I mean of course as a guy like they're gonna look if some girls walking in with like cleavage hanging out like yeah I mean as girls I didn't look and see like whoa what is she wearing right you know like yeah you just want to be classy don't really want to show off too much I think that was the gist of it and like also caveat here I do have some married friends where like the wives show off a little bit more skin and they're just very secure and the relationship and the husband's are like she works really hard for that body like if she wants to show it off I don't care she's going home with me like get a girl like there you go so there's very differing opinions on here but this is something from like single guys something that they look for I don't know I just I resonate with that because you want somebody that's gonna maybe show off for you but not necessarily for the world you know like keep it a secret or keep it like a mystery yeah and I think there's a little bit of the element because I have heard this from some of my guy friends of we don't like somebody that shows off too much because some of that's just supposed to be for me and mine to see uh-huh right some of them are like you can see but you can't touch okay that's just people that are very very secure and in the relationship right right you know depends I think part of it's just what she's comfortable to you because you know if you feel good in the outfit it's probably gonna look pretty cute another one this is something that Taylor's talked about you is I call this one forward-thinking but the gist of this is just women that have goals and ambitions both personally and professionally 100% I mean me looking for a partner I need to know that there are goals there are ambitions that what is driving you to wake up in the morning every single day like are you just existing are you just living for a paycheck or is this like a slow step of something greater sure the tea the say of the tea ASMR the next one big area topic is confidence and what this means to guys so some of them explicitly said confidence and then tried to explain it to some others just kind of said things and I felt like they felt under the confidence theme so the first one is being secure and comfortable with who they are yeah I can agree and the next one is knows they can do what they want to do and do it mm-hmm and another one is knows what they want and aren't afraid to say it and that yeah that takes time that takes skill oh go ahead we'll get all that yeah and then the next one is displays mental behavioral practices that show that external validation is not needed for happiness oh okay I want to meet this individual some of these I'm like oh wow I was not expecting this from like seriously so thank you Wow did you get these answers from like via text or in person did they don't like all and like messages I got it I was about to say like did they just Google like hey Google hey Siri define confidence this is a phone call one don't do it Siri about to give you the definition I don't really need it yeah this is a this is a phone call one okay okay we're good we're good Taylor thought about her phone but not her watch so her watch was trying to join in yeah right that battle to Siri yeah and Siri is really working on her communication skills the next big theme so one of the I wouldn't say like a big one but one of those huh you really thought about this with answers questions and elaborated by thing doesn't avoid answering questions answered yes and no questions with yes and no responses okay okay so I guess more direct I definitely get the more doesn't avoid answering questions because you can kind of skate around and not really answer questions sometimes right well especially if you don't really want to give them the right answer and or like hurt somebody's feelings like right but this one was like it hurt the feeling she needs to be okay if she's asking a question I want the answer right right totally get that to willingness to take feedback without getting defensive okay willingness to have difficult conversations mm-hmm mm-hmm that shows maturity yep when he said well the guy who said this one said it and said I can't wait for the backlash understand that something sometimes things are being explained not mansplained oh yes yes I you know I hate when guys may explain to me though it's so annoying and then of course I'm on the phone I'm like having to bring up hey you know we're in grad classes there be times where a female student would come up with something and explain it thoroughly and then a male student would turn around and say the exact same fucking thing he's like that's just stealing ideas that's not mansplaining I'm like the fact that he felt like he needed to re-explain something that was already well explained like she was not confident enough and communicating what she thought like that is mansplaining and if you're gonna borrow ideas what did we learn from English 101 cite your sources right Oh per Brandi's idea in so-and-so's class yesterday like that's how you cite yeah and I'm like patting myself on the back right now like go be because there's been times where Taylor said stuff on the podcast I'm like I think the way that I would explain that same thing to somebody would be to say blah blah blah blah mm-hmm not a new idea here's how I would think about it this is not what this kid was doing I was not in these classes but every time after that seminar and eventually got to the point of the professors like yo dude someone's I just said that like if it's happened enough times as a professor's like please stop mansplaining like then you know get right right right she didn't just do that I came up with it no no no no are there any other ones for confidence or if something is for communication skills oh okay if something is wrong then say something is wrong okay yeah I mean I do that too I do that too a lot of things well and there's certain things where I don't meet personally if it's not a huge in my mind it's not a huge issue I'm not gonna bring it up but then sometimes then it festers and then it becomes an issue later on uh-huh and that's where I get in trouble I'm like I'm thinking and I'm like it's not a big enough deal to me right now to say something but I'm like I'm thinking about it but it's important enough to talk about it two hours later I'm like I'm still thinking about this so I need to say something and it's like why I've already asked you about this so or maybe if it's like a behavior that happens you're like okay that's not a big deal that's not how I would approach it but whatever I'll let it go but then they continue that behavior like I should have just nipped in the bud when I saw it and it was a runoff it wasn't worth saying anything about but like now I have an issue right well now you gotta have it that you gotta break or you gotta try to get them to break it and you can't force people to break habits that I don't know depends on the habit habits and personality hard overlap sometimes there you don't need to change someone's personality but like you can work on some habits you have sometimes right right okay next thing on the list I feel like this could have its own thing but I threw it under communication skills because I feel like it fits best here was emotional intelligence so she knows how and why she's feeling the way she's feeling and can communicate it effectively not super one that I would expect to be on a guys list but we both have this problem that our face is saying things that our mouth isn't like are you okay yeah yeah it's so funny because I think it was last week or maybe a week or two ago but right now I'm in the middle of apartment shopping with our friend Cecilia we're trying to find house hopefully to live in next year and so we're out about looking at townhouses and just regular houses and whatever and Cecilia's so funny she was Taylor I just I'd go into that house and I watch her face the whole entire time because I'm like okay is she good is she good okay five minutes in all right we Taylor has a smile we like this all sudden the realtor goes oh by the way you need a dehumidifier in this place oh there goes Taylor's face oh this please you need to go out and buy a laundry unit oh there goes Taylor's face oh yeah I mean I'm not going to go out and live in a house where I also got to buy the laundry and dryer unit too and hook it up that's silly favor the house and the house of amenities right exactly that could already be there exactly exactly yeah it's it's a struggle right now but hopefully we're in the works of finding something crossing my fingers yep no are you ready for the last one well what's last one I'm calling this one the life stage because these are things where I feel like if I went and talked to any of the guys who I talked to to get feedback they would say these things are also important but these are the things that I noticed only the older guys said or the guys with more relationship experience so are you ready I'm ready let's hear it she's done with partying days okay that's yeah upper 20s early 30s yeah yeah getting ready to settle down okay fidelity so like she's not gonna cheat if it's us then it's us yeah I feel like there's important to everybody but this is something only they're like yeah life stage uh well I mean they're looking to settle down so yeah I mean that makes sense maybe maybe younger guys not gonna really care about that cuz they're gonna go out and do their own thing too so like yeah this is my boo but my boo for a minute and you know whatever right right like there are a lot of people I don't know I feel like they can resonate with this and say like yeah like we're together but I don't see her as my like future wife yeah yeah so they're just my lady for the minute yeah exactly here for a good time but not a long time exactly yeah if that's the case let her know mm-hmm next one was not into drama so don't test me or require that I chase you people that don't need some type of drama to you just like feel normal mm-hmm well I feel like that's a lot of like immaturity yeah a lot of immaturity a lot of tied into like younger ages a lot of like and I just gotta play hard-to-get okay yeah I feel like there's some level of like you gotta earn me but if you're not gonna like tell them the next one is trustworthy and trusting but also understanding that trust and respect are earned okay yeah yeah I resonate with that um that she's accountable to herself and hold me accountable and then religious and political compatibility or reconcilability okay yeah not expecting those interest in having a family or understanding that children are a part of my life and my responsibilities that's a huge one yeah this one definitely applies decisiveness so the ability to make decisions even simple ones in a timely manner in a timely manner I'm gonna give you five minutes I thought whenever I truly don't know I tell the person like at least give me three options I don't know what you should know quick being indecisive like listen give me three options and at least like if you give me three those are the three that you're okay with and then I can pick out of those three that way it's like a good compromise I do that with almost any kind of situation where I truly like I don't care like I just I can eat whatever I can do whatever give me three of your options that you would want to do and then I'll pick up out of those the best three yeah I would say eating thing I'm definitely like the worst I'll be like Taylor we're going to Olive Garden or I'm like Taylor I'm hungry what do you want to eat she's like I don't know what do you want to eat we don't know what to do place at this point yeah we got our old people our old watering hole spot pretty much the same thing every time like nachos and I had a moment last salads and whatever else I don't know my last time I was like this is old I mean like a routine when we don't know no we're old when we go enough times where we know the waiting staff that's when we know we're old like oh our regulars are here which I don't know maybe we are I mean I don't know that but maybe they recognize us I don't know some of my things do at this point oh well we need to pick new spot it's okay we're so adventurous um she values facts and evidence when making decisions so she's not constantly making decisions based on her emotions and then I was targeted with this one no double standards if it's okay for these and it's okay for me oh okay so give me an example did he provide an example this one though um the one that he gave which this example was not targeted towards me but anyways he said like okay on Instagram like if you're gonna get mad at your partner for liking pictures of women in bikinis then don't post pictures of yourself in bikinis what's the intention of getting likes from men got it okay quite the same thing but I get the idea there yeah I just I don't really if me personally I don't really care that much what a guy does on Instagram I don't know like go ahead and like all the pic like in my mind like for a guy go ahead and like all the pictures you want I just I don't know what harm is it for a guy to go ahead and like pictures it really I don't know it goes the extra step when they like go out and message a girl though like hey like you look good in that bikinis I'm gonna meet up when I hang like to me that's you went out of your way instead of like scrolling oh right right like to me cuz like for example if you're gonna go out and about with a guy like we're going out to dinner right guys are visual creatures they like the minute they see something they they see it right and so if you're out to dinner with a guy and a girl with cleavage is out like walking by a guy's gonna look I'm gonna look too I feel like that equates to like the Instagram pictures like it you know you're gonna see it and whatever if a guy likes it so what like it's harmless but I feel like that kind of ties in with confidence too I'm confident enough where if I'm dating somebody and they go ahead and like all these pictures of girls go for it like I mean oh shoot we might like the same picture you know like hey she's looking good but you know I'm gonna if I'm in a relationship with somebody like we have that understanding of that contract I guess but it's not really contract but look at that that mutual understanding of like hey like you are for me and I'm for you like we have an understanding of you're not gonna go out and try to you know meet up with all these other girls like again messaging a girl like hey what are you doing and I don't know whatever that's for single guy stuff if you're with me for me then it's understanding like you know you're you're my time you know yeah you can talk to whoever you want as long as you follow the boundaries of like what I'm okay with and vice versa uh-huh and if those don't mesh then the recipe for disaster exactly and then this is the last thing I didn't really feel like it had a category but uh she's a common sense common sense yeah okay just what like book smart street smart or it was more geared towards like street smart okay okay but then as soon as this happened I had a flashback to when I was in the long-term relationship and a lamp fell over and Taylor's heard the story but a lamp fell over and my ex's dad and brother-in-law both like highly educated advanced degrees in medical field and I'm sitting there trying to figure out why they can't figure out if the light bulb is broken or not hmm and I was like shake the light bulb if it makes noise the filaments knocked out you need a new light bulb like that was one of those moments where I was just like I can't handle this can't do it I can't do this can't do it I can't do this my feelings are hurt like these are very smart people the practical day-to-day know-how like it's a light bulb and then it's like how many light bulbs does it take and I was just like the irony like but see like all those ideas that you just listed off all those different categories like I feel like they all intertwine they you know it's hard to make those categories right like for example confidence like confidence is not I mean yes it's a tree but it's also associated with more as like a skill that you build you don't really just have confidence and you go out there like you know you have to build it and you have to keep working at it and I feel like the one factor that either it will can hinder you but it also can help you grow too is comfort like if you're you're comfortable where you are you know you gain confidence because you gain competency in that particular area or how you are but then you know it like being too comfortable doesn't allow you to grow either and that's why for guys and dating and guys dating girls like we you know if you're too comfortable you go for the same type of people like oh I recognize this behavior so I'm gonna go out and date that kind of behavior like oh for girls like oh I like the bad guys like I'm gonna go out and date the same kind of guys and run into the same rut and oh I can't find a good guy this one cheated or does the debt like no you gotta you know branch out and get you know in that moment in that kind of scenario get uncomfortable so that way you can date many different types of people and then kind of well-rounded figure of like what you actually want yeah I think confidence to me it's definitely a skill and it's definitely something that you develop over time but I feel like it's half parts mentality half parts behavior so in that way I think there's a really strong tie with confidence and what we talked about with self presentation so like the confidence that you have in yourself is gonna gear how you talk to other men like if you don't need that external validation from men saying oh I think you're so pretty blah blah blah blah blah you're not gonna be constantly flirting with guys trying to get that you're gonna be supportive of other women you're gonna be nice to other women you know like what's the boundary of like you know they're also nice people you're not gonna let people walk all over you but like you have the confidence to be supportive and understanding and have boundaries and get along with people's friends and you want to get to know their friends and you know it's just that's what confidence is it's mentality and it's behaviors absolutely and I mean like especially for me going I don't know way back to like my five and a half year relationship like after that experience I really had to step back in take time for myself and build up my confidence to go back out there and start dating again and figuring out like okay I had that whole experience that took up most of my 20s now into this new era of mine what is it that I'm looking for what are the characteristics of a person that I really want to highlight and I I really want to engage in and you know they're all kind of like different people ones that are athletic ones that are not super smart you know just all kind of areas and it just made me appreciate just the different aspects and develop my confidence in that way and like that kind of mentioned too about the the era or not the era the the aura of how you enter a room too I think that was kind of like cool because I feel like I give off like a positive energy presence whenever I enter a room and I don't know I'm just I'm confident but again it takes practice it does so Taylor was there anything on this list that surprised you surprised me maybe like the double standard one really mm-hmm why I don't because guys come off as at least the guys that I talk to or associate with get very laxed and a very like I don't care what you do like I don't know go off and do your own thing and then we'll meet in the middle I don't know but then again there are guys I do get jealous and do get insecure so I mean I can also see that too I think I was just really surprised I've seen a million times now but like the level of thought that went into the list that people sent me the way of room reacts to her presence like neither one of us thought about that but I get it cuz if she walks in and everybody's like I have to wash my hair you invited her like I gotta go home and feed my cat Brandi you don't have a cat exactly gotta go gotta go gotta leave bad bad bad juju in here you got a bad dude I was like really you know expecting but I guess it was also surprised by the lack of attention I guess that was paid to physical characteristics cuz I didn't get a ton of that like there was some and I definitely some of it was joking halfway but most of it wasn't about looks the women if you're so worried all the time about your look this is not the thing I said that make women stand out no and bring this up from last episode to your looks are just way to get that interview kind of like a job interview like it gets your foot in the door but it doesn't mean the door is staying open exactly this reminds me of my other gym boyfriend or action boyfriend so this guy that used to check me in and out of cute different gym boyfriend and so I made the mistake of like all right I'm gonna talk to him so I go up to the the counter and like I don't know it's slow or whatever so like exchange a few words and I realized like even though he was cute you there was nothing up there in that noggin of his and like I remember the conversation like he asked like what I did so I told him and you know exchange what I did so he basically was like oh and he sounded just like this too oh so you like no sports huh I mean yeah yeah I guess you could say I'm an expert in the area of sport good so so you like can you teach me some time I said out loud to him like wait to teach you how how to sport how to play sports like I cover a lot of sports sir and he's just like yeah like oh god I've ever like I left the gym I called Brady like Brady gym boyfriend new nickname she goes what like cinder block like there's nothing up there he's a giant blockhead people on first meeting that we talked about where I was like is he the one that just looks confused mm-hmm like he's cute but he just stands there and looks glazed over look like oh boy yeah so think even for women to like yeah I could appreciate looks but there's got to be a little more all right say I think it's about time we wrap this up because we have plenty of content so I want to say thank you to the guys who gave me feedback and for taking time to really think about what they wanted to put on their list granted and we should say this and we should have said in the beginning that this is geared towards heterosexual men no just again I want to say thank you for the feedback and for anybody else that would like to chime in and offer suggestions offer other points of interest that they would love to hear on the podcast or even become a guest on our show because we will start having guest appearances here in a little bit but till then check us out next Wednesday with our new episode bye you