The KittyCrinkle Show Ep 3 First date

Oh, hey Katie Krinkle. What's up, Michelle? Are Jordan and Katie coming? Jordan's coming, but I don't think Katie is. Oh, thank God, I'm tired of saying, Damn Auntie Katie, nobody cares about your wiping porn off the computer story. Sorry I'm late. I had to get an excuse to get rid of Katie. Oh, where is she? Ah. Oh, my God. And then I went up to him and kept yelling, Katie, get off the pornhub. And then he kept laughing in my lap and told me to shut up. Don't worry about it. The movie's starting. What are we watching anyway? I don't know, but it looks good. Aw, crap, I gotta go, but I'll see you guys another time. Let's plan something else out later. Uh, I think you're a little too close to me. Oh, sorry. No, keep it that way. I like it. That was fun, Kitty Crinkle. Yeah, I kinda enjoyed the movie. Except for the part where the guy was masturbating in the camper. Hey, uh, can I ask you a question? Sure. Would you like to go on a date with me? Yes. Yes? Yes. By the way, don't masturbate at the dinner table. Oh, hey, Jordan, are you on Pornhub? Yeah, just watching myself some sex tapes. Awesome. Get off now. Why? Cause I need to use the damn computer. I have to study for my driver's test. Wait, you don't have your license yet? No. I've been trying ever since I was 18, but for some reason, I, I just can't. I'm so sorry to hear that. Now go away. Step away from the computer now. You're really gonna point a gun at me over a dumb computer? Do you want me to shoot you? No, no, please. Wow, this is really important to you, huh? Of course it is. But everything I do it, I get distracted. If you want, maybe I can help you. Really? Really. Thanks, Jordan. You, what was that? Sorry, I had too many breakfast tacos. So, tell me more about your celebrity life. Well, first I had sex with Beyonce, then I recorded a Fortnite video, then I had sex with Stormy Daniels, boy was this good, and then I had more sex and made more videos. You know, Titty Krinkle, I think this date's actually going pretty well. Yeah, I, I guess it is. But there is one thing I'm worried about. What? What if the having sex part didn't go very well? Why don't we experiment? Let's go. Oh, by the way, you're stuck with the bill. See ya. Wait, what? Oh, come on. God damn it. Get back here. Okay, we're at the DMV. Sure you're okay? Yep, not nervous at all. Hello. I thought you said you aren't nervous. Are you ready? I guess. 10 minutes later. So how'd it go? Well, she ran 15 stop signs, 26 red lights, ran over 82 people, but other than that, it went all right. Damn it, Jordan, I can't do this. Sure you can. I'll help you. Wow, thanks, Jordan. You're welcome. So how many people did you run over again? So, we just had sex. Yeah, we just had sex. What did you feel? Vilge, I guess. Actually, I felt the same thing. Like, nothing was there. I mean, the date went well, but if we can't have sex, what will our relationship be like? Freeporn, maybe? I'm serious, Michelle. I don't think really think this will work out. Maybe we shouldn't go on any more dates. No, kitty crinkle. It was only once. So maybe we can try to go on another date and see if the sex works out. I guess. And we should make sure that nothing, especially nothing, can distract us. Oh, cool. Sunday football's on. Okay, kitty, in order to learn how to do your driver's license, we'll need to get ready with these helpful materials. Where'd you get the steering wheels and car seats? I found them. Now pretend like you're on the road. Wow, that felt kinda nice. Yeah, it kinda did. Huh? Do you think you're ready? Yeah, I think I am ready. I'm starting to think I wasn't ready. You think? Kitty crinkle, what happened? You haven't scooped 2 ice cream today. Are your celebrity hands too tired? No, I think I'm fine. It's just I went on a date, and the having sex part didn't really go so well. Oh, I'm sorry, kitty crinkle, but I have some advice for you. What? Break up with her. You know what, boss? You may be right. She and I just weren't meant for each other. I'm glad you could realize that. Now, get back to work. You gotta work out your celebrity hands. Jesus jumped up Christ. I'll be fine. Goddamn it. I can't believe that you crashed the car 1 second after you started. In my defense, that instructor was an idiot. What makes him an idiot? He told me to calm down. I was already calm. Jordan, I was already calm. Are you okay? I don't know. All this is too much for me. I don't think I'll ever get my driver's license. Aye, I'll be fine. Hello, sir. Is Kitty here? Bro, she's right beside me. Oh, right. She is. Hello, Kitty. I'd like to talk to you real quick. Sir, can you excuse us for a minute? Sure. Holy crap. This guy is an idiot. Hey, Michelle. Hey, Kitty Crinkle. We need to talk. We need to go on another date. You first. Damn it. Kitty, I'll let you go first. Kitty Crinkle, we should go on another date. We can't go another date. We aren't meant for each other. The having sex part didn't go well. What would go well? Kitty Crinkle, please. Just give this another chance. Something good could happen. Fine, but I heavily doubt it. What did he say? Jordan, I was wrong about this guy. He said, Jordan, I was wrong about this guy? No, but he said that I have so much potential, and I have to use it while I'm driving. And I sometimes get distracted, and that I need to focus more, because when I drive well, it could make him happy, it could make me happy, and I could finally get my license. Jordan, are you listening? Oh, yeah. Sorry. That was incredibly long. Do you fall asleep when your girlfriend talks for that long? No, because my girlfriend doesn't make speeches that long. This is fun, right? Yeah, totally fun. I'm really having a blast. Hey, hey. This isn't really fun, is it? Oh, God, no. I want it to be fun, but I don't really think we click. Of course we do. We've just got to find something that we have in common. Here, ask me a question, and I'll answer. Okay. Do you like porn? Not that kind of question. Here, let me ask. Do you like rainbows? Oh, God, no. Should we skip right to the sex? Yeah, let's skip right to the sex. All right, Katie, do you think you're ready? Well, I'm a little nervous, but I think I got this. Are you sure you're ready? Yes. I'll assure you, nothing's gonna go wrong. I'm assuming something went wrong. I guess we should try this a few more times and see how it all works out. Yeah, let's try. The sex went well. Yes, the sex did go well. No, it didn't. I just don't understand. I don't why the first time the date went well and the sex didn't, but the second time the sex went well and the date didn't. I'm starting to think it's a sign. Maybe we just weren't meant to date. I'm starting to think it's not that. What is it, then? Maybe we just don't know each other that well. Okay. How about next date, we try to get to know each other more? Yeah, we should. And also, do you know the price of the Italian hamburgers at Arby's? Katie, what are you doing? Please knock before you go to my house. This is the beach. I've just been hanging out here, just knowing that I'm never gonna get the license again. You haven't even tried again. I have. He almost died. Well, don't stop trying. Who knows? You might get it one day. I heavily doubt that, but thanks for the encouragement, I guess. If you need me to help you practice, I can. This time, can we actually learn something? I don't want to keep crashing. I'll make sure it doesn't happen and that my Pornhub poster doesn't hit your face again. Okay. First step of getting to know each other. See what we already know about each other. You ask first. Okay. Here's one you'll never get. What's my favorite website? Let me guess. Pornhub? Damn. I'll go again. What's my favorite color? Pornhub? Kitty Crinkle, Pornhub isn't a color. Oh, sorry. I wasn't paying attention. Okay. What's my favorite hairstyle? Pornhub. Damn it, Kitty Crinkle. This is serious. We need to know more about each other or we will never be meant to date. Do you want to date me? I'm sorry. Please ask another question. What do I like to do for fun? Pornhub. I'm out. No, please. Michelle, I'm sorry. Damn it. No wonder Steve committed suicide last week. Back at the Georgia DMV. Totally not nervous at all. You're nervous, aren't you? Oh, too much. Don't sweat it. You'll be fine. No, I won't be fine. I don't want to kill anyone. You won't kill anyone. Just remember what I taught you. Hello, Katie. I just wanted to say that before we start, you crashed a normal car. But we got a new one. It has a lot of complicated buttons, and there's too much butt. Damn it. I can't do this. So, do you like porn? I haven't watched porn in a long time. Hey, Katie. Hey. Look, I'm sorry for what I did. I know you wanted to take this seriously, but I was such a... head. Whatever, Kitty Crinkle. It's fine. Look, maybe we can start over again. Try to have a meaningful relationship. And I promise, this time I'll take it seriously. And whenever you ask a question, I won't keep saying Pornhub over and over again. I will try to make this work. Wow. Thanks, Kitty Crinkle. I'm sorry I was being such a jerk-ass about this. I just wanted the day to go well. Let's try to make this work. Yeah. Pornhub. Sorry, I couldn't resist. Hey, Katie. Please knock before you enter my house. This is the beach. Again. I just... I can't do this. I've been working hard for God. I've been wiping off the porn off the computers. He hates porn. Damn it. And this is how he repays me? Guess so. But you can't give up. Come on, let's do this one more time. Why? Because I say so. Now come on. Who are you, and why are you in my house? It's me, your friend, Sullivan Renteria. And this isn't your house, this is the beach. Damn. Oh my God, you did that? Yep. From then on, they kept calling me the master of disaster. I'm really enjoying this date, Kitty Crinkle. Yeah, me too. But you know what else I would enjoy? Let's do it. Yeah, let's do it. You think you're ready? Yeah, I think I am ready. Hello, Kitty. I am glad you're back, and try not to pee your pants this time. Once. Only once that happened. I don't care. I'm gonna keep pissing you off about it. Now get in the car. Congratulations, you passed your test. Go in to get your license. Oh my God. I did it. I did it. I told you you could do it. Thanks, Jordan. By the way, if you tell anyone that I peed my pants, we're gonna have a problem. The date went well? Yes. And the sex went well? Yes. Can I ask you a question? Yes. Since everything went well, will you be my girlfriend? Oh my God, yes. Yes? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.