RATSASS18

On the Rats Ass Podcast, Mark and Dave discuss their weekends and answer questions from listeners. They talk about showering habits, hand washing, and underwear preferences. They also mention the ongoing conflict between Palestinians and Israelis, with over 700 Israelis and 400 Palestinians feared dead. They briefly mention actor Will Ferrell attending a frat party at USC. From Los Angeles, this is the Rats Ass Podcast with Mark and Dave. Hey, Alexa, what day is it? Today is Monday, October 9th. She left out Columbus Day, which is also Columbus Day. I'm Mark. And I'm Dave, and happy Columbus Day. That means federal offices, libraries, and the DMVs, yay, are closed. You get no mail. It is Monday. If you're listening on Tuesday, they're open. How was your weekend, Dave? I'm asking because I want to talk about mine. You know, I had a wonderful weekend. How was your weekend, Mark? Oh, explosive, man. It was a crazy weekend. Crazy weekend. Yeah? It was a football weekend in America. For sure. And, you know, I get knee deep in football. Well, let me say it right. I get knee deep in football! I know you do. You get crazy. It's like... It's like, uh-oh, watch out. It's like... I'm sorry. I got into an Eminem moment. You're getting the fever, man. I'm not going to get you with football fever yet. It's just the way to spend the weekend, man. Just meditating, watching football. And, you know, I got to tell you, we have so many people that are reaching out to us on TikTok now. It's nice. Got a new shout-out to Lisa in Los Angeles, Kirby in Phoenix. And I was looking at the stats and we're getting a fairly decent sized audience, Dave, in Japan. Oh, domo arigato. Mr. Roboto. I'm just going to leave that out. Because domo arigato means thank you very much. Now, I was a little suspect of this one from Kimberly in Syracuse. She goes, I have three questions for you guys. You know, and do you want to do these questions or should we just answer on social media and be done with it? I like talking about what our listeners, you know, because we're getting closer to seven now with these three or four. That's seven listeners, Dave. That's seven plus Japan, so we're getting there. We're hitting our goals early. Kimberly wants to know, do you guys shower in the morning or before you go to bed? That's an interesting question. Yeah, you know, I don't pay attention to it. I just shower at least once a day. I don't really pay attention to it. I actually shower in the morning. Do you? Yes. Yeah, I shower at least once a day. It doesn't matter what time of day. It's just whatever the mood hits me. Yeah. You know, when I go, yeah, it's time. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sometimes you just take a whiff and you know it's time to shower. Yeah, when you say, yeah, that's a little ripe. It's time to go wash that off. You know how Mark lives now. But my daily routine is pretty much in the morning. Okay, question two. Do you wash your hands before you go to the bathroom or after the bathroom? After. I actually had to put some thought into this question because I do wash my hands before I go to the bathroom. I do because you think of where your hands are. Sure. Throughout the day and when you go to the restroom, you're going to touch your little best pal before washing your hands. So I'm a before and after guy. I'm a germaphobe. I'll tell you right now. That's not a bad idea because, you know, who wants a boogie on their thing? Yeah, exactly. They may not be your boogie. And when you put it away, whichever you may be swinging with, you know, it's going to be hanging out there for quite a while. So I think that was an interesting question to me from that standpoint that I had to think about. I go, you know, for the longest time, I have always gone to the restroom first, washed my hands, then used the restroom. And you notice a lot of people don't. So I'm just saying there's a lot of people walking around out there with crotch rot. Well, I've got to be honest. I don't wash my hands before, but I do after because I will now. Well, you know, now I'm thinking about it and I'm thinking, you know, maybe it's not a bad idea. And there's a lot of folks probably going, hmm, maybe I better do that, too. So we might have saved everybody from the next COVID pandemic, Dave. Thank goodness. Yes. And third question. Oh, there's another. Do you wear boxer shorts or briefs? I wear boxers. Let's just say I was a commando guy up until the point that my boys needed a house. Were you a commando guy? I was a commando guy because, you know, I always looked at tighty whiteys. There was a time where men could only get white underwear, DVDs and stuff like that. But as a kid, as a kid, didn't you wear tighty whiteys? Well, that's all that was available. That was all that was available. Right. Right. So we all, I think every one of us wore tighty whiteys as kids. But they look like they look like diapers. They do. You know, I would go to the gym and guys would walk around in their tighty whiteys and go, God, it looks like they're sporting a diaper. I can't do that. I just can't do it. I can't do it. So for the longest time, I was a commando guy. Because, too, I got tired of the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me. Well. And, you know, I got tired of that. And it's embarrassing to admit this, but a couple of years ago, I finally figured out that the fly goes in the front. No. No idea. Well, you know, I've just been a boxer guy, you know, for quite a long time now. But that's an interesting story, Mark, that was maybe a little TMI. Yeah, a little bit too much. But, hey, I'm somebody that just lets it all hang out, let's just say. That is what you get. When you do let it all hang out, it's clean, folks. Yes, absolutely. It's washed and tucked in really nice and neat. Folded. Oh, yeah. That's just the way I do it. Isn't that what transvestites do? They tuck and fold so you can't see? I have no idea. I have no idea. Well, if you watch any sitcoms like I do, then you would know those terms. Okay, so what sitcom are you watching that I'm not watching that has transvestites folding their stuff? Two and a Half Men. Alan, the brother to Charlie Sheen, to Charlie Harper, says, you know, that girl you dated was a guy. Charlie says, yeah, well, I was drunk. I didn't know he was taped. He was taped, tucked, and wrapped up. I didn't know that episode. That was a good episode. Yeah, see? They're all good until Ashton Kutcher arrives in that show. But that's how I know that. Yes, and those are the TV shows I watch. You know the kind of programs I watch. Yes, absolutely. So they do bring that stuff up. I'm going to have to go back and watch reruns. You know, I own the series on DVD, so I can pull it out. And I am talking about the DVDs when I say that. And stuff in the machine. And watch the show and get caught up. It's been a few years since I've watched the show. I got a little lost in this conversation. I wasn't really sure what you were talking about there for a second. Me either. I guess the big news over the weekend, and it's hard to not acknowledge this, is the Palestinians attacking Israel. That's top news, big story today, and it has been over the weekend. Because this is an ongoing story, let's just get a quick update on this Monday when we're doing the show, October 9th, 2023. More than 700 Israelis are now feared dead after unprecedented attacks by Hamas militants. It represents the biggest loss of life in a single day in Israeli history. Hamas is still holding out in parts of southern Israel where they're coming under attack by Israeli forces. And Israeli warplanes are now bombing the Gaza Strip where more than 400 Palestinians are said to have been killed and more than 2,000 injured. Worry is also deepening over the shocking hostage taking of more than 100 Israelis who are now said to have been taken to Gaza. Okay, there you go. Yeah, I mean, again, 700 lives lost. It's just, to me, it's senseless, and we just don't learn from history. And there's enough of it to learn from, that there is no good that comes from this. So it's, the world has just turned upside down since the pandemic. It really has. And once again, it depends on when you're listening to the show, but get the latest news online, the app, or wherever you find your news, because this is a story that's ongoing. So we're just keeping you up to date where we are today on Columbus Day. Yeah, we want you to know that our heads are not in the sand, even though it probably sounds like they are. Well, a lot of times it does, doesn't it? Absolutely. Sometimes it's just, you know, hey, there's some sand, and it's cement. You want to talk about a guy's head who's in the sand? Will Ferrell. The guy is 56 years old. You know what he did? Oh, I love this. He showed up at a USC frat party to DJ the thing. Yeah, yeah. And I looked at this, and I said, Jesus Christ, Will Ferrell is blue. He's turning into blue from old school. Now, I don't know if you've seen the movie Old School or not. Oh, yeah, the character in Old School. Yeah. Blue is like a 70-year-old guy, just kind of all fuzzy-faced and just, you know, like an old drunk. He was just an old guy that loved to hang out at frat parties. Yeah, and everybody used him to, you know, and they treated him like kind of a party doll or whatever, or a party favor. And Blue finally had just a little too much party, and he passed out and died in the movie. I'm watching Will Ferrell, and I'm like going, he wants to be blue. He almost is coming to that point. Will Ferrell is 56 years old. He even looks old. You know, when you look at Will Ferrell, and you look at the old movie from Anchorman, I'll just pick one of the movies, and you see him now, and he looks about 56 or 60 years old. He looks like Blue. He's really becoming that character, Blue. When you're hanging out at frat parties at 56 years old, and what's interesting, though, is that I guess it's because he's been in movies, everybody's jamming around him, having a good time, which you can do. When I show up and do that, they're carrying us out on our ass. Oh, they're calling the police. There's two old guys here to DJ a party. It's our frat party. Okay, kick the chair out. The noose is on his neck. Kick the chair out. Do it. Get him out of here. Yeah, but I just found that kind of interesting, that all of this is going on in the world, and then you have Will Ferrell DJing a frat party at USC before a football game, or after the football game, but nothing gets in the way of American football. We see the news, and they go, Okay, change of channel. Get the beer out. Let's go. It's party time. Fire up the party. It's interesting how life just goes on with all of this stuff going on. In fact, Joe Biden, while this is going on today, he was having a fundraiser in the Rose Garden of the White House last night. Probably watching the Cowboys game against the 49ers. It's just funny to me how we as Americans, life goes on. Well, you know, it's funny because it's true. It's true. I think we have a comment yesterday from Joe Biden. Oh, no. He's sleeping. I'm sorry. I guess we don't have that comment. Wake up, Joe. I am. Wide awake. Oh, goodness. But it's interesting how this all goes on, and then we're all tuning into Kansas City games to see if Taylor shows up, and she did not. She disappointed hundreds and hundreds of fans. Oh, Lord. She had disappointed the Swifticals. Isn't that what they call her fan base? Well, the Swifties. Oh, the Swifties. I'm sorry. We call them the Swifticals. I like Swifticals. Oh, I changed their name. I keep changing everybody's name. I'm sorry. I apologize. So the Swifticals, or not the Swifticals. Yeah, I did it again. No, that's what we'll call them. Our nickname for them, our loving nickname for the Swifties, will be the Swifticals. That's old Taylor base. I mean, Taylor base. Now I'm really screwed up. See, this is why you shouldn't drink before you go on the air. Taylor Swift. I'm drinking right now. You're causing me to drink. I'm having my tea, and it's not that Rump Roast tea that you drink. Well, I love the Rump Roast, and we want to go down that path. Wait a minute. What's it called again? No, it's Rooibos. Rooibos. Yeah. It's Rooibos. Rooibos vanilla tea. Yeah. It's very good. I'm having some nice mint tea with honey. That's good too. And, you know, that always is a big kicker for me. What I'm trying to say is Taylor Swift, her fan base, they're all called Swifties, and we call them Swifticals. Okay, what's this? For some reason, I don't know why, I keep calling them Swifticals. Anyway, they were so upset. Come on. I remember the prescription up here in a minute. Jesus. Yeah, yeah. That was released when Alexa was just kind of popping off at the mouth, remember? Yeah, absolutely. I just found it kind of interesting that the game went on, and even without Taylor, they played the game, and Kansas City won. But during the game, Travis Kelsey had an injury to his ankle, and they had to take him off the field to go in the locker room to get taped up. And I thought it was kind of interesting. There were a group of fans as he was walking back to the locker room going, shake it off, shake it off. I can't sing Taylor Swift songs, but it was a Taylor Swift song. Shake it off, shake it off. That's that little funky song that Taylor has, right? It sounds a little techno to me. Yeah, it's an upbeat, fun song about her dating and that, you know, she can't come to find the right guy, so she has to shake it off. Right. Of course, shake it off has a different meaning to you and I. A lot of times when I've fallen in the wrong place, the coach used to say, just shake it off. Shake it off. Girls go around the outside, around the outside, around the outside. I'm sorry. I keep getting into this Eminem moment. I apologize again. We're going to get you into football fever yet. People that were watching just for Taylor Swift because the ratings went down. Oh, it's interesting. I read this, that the Kelsey brother's mother is just as popular as her sons are now. It's true. Mama Kelsey made the rounds on Friday. She was on several different. Mama Kelsey. Mama Kelsey. Yeah, Mama Kelsey. Mama Kelsey made the rounds talking about, you know. She's going to be the president of the Swifticals now. Well, you know, everybody wants to know about Taylor Swift. She wants to talk about her sons and the hosts. She was on NBC's Today, and they kept, you know, asking her, well, what about Taylor Swift? Here's Mama Kelsey. I said, oh, man. She said, oh, man. I said, no, what? No, that's a lie. I'm sorry. Here's Hoda. We only could see you at home on our TVs. Was that the first time you met Taylor? Yeah, it's, you know, it's fairly new, so I don't like to talk about it. It's just one of those things where, you know, obviously everybody saw me. I was in the boxes with her, and, yeah, it's just, you know, another thing that's amped up my life. Yeah. What was she like? I mean, you get to know her a little bit. You got to see her a couple games. How was it? It was okay. Did Travis say, Mom, if you get on the Today show and start spilling the beans, do you get a little warning? It's not so much a warning. It's his personal life. Mama, you better shut up. Mama said knock you out. Well, let's hope that. I'm sorry that Minnesota didn't have the circus come to town, but there's another game next week. Holy cow, but you called. You know, when we talked last week on the phone, you said, you know what? She's not going to Minneapolis. Who would, in their right mind, go to Minneapolis? That's right. I'm looking at my schedule for next week. They're playing in Kansas City next week, so she might be at the Denver Bronco Kansas City Chiefs game on October 12th. That's a Thursday game, which is this Thursday. Let's see where the Chiefs are. Isn't this exciting? Having me swift through the football schedule. I'm going to be in Kansas City again against the Los Angeles Chargers, and that game is on the 22nd of October. So there you go. That's the potential Taylor Swift tour. She may go to the Kansas City games. Well, you never know, because they're trying to tie her in, you know, with all the games and with Travis. Yeah, absolutely. Well, she's going to break his heart. There's no doubt about it. If he's taking this seriously, there's no way Taylor Swift's going to. After dating Harry Styles, hook up with Travis Kelce. Yeah, I just don't think that's going to happen. She's doing it to make Harry jealous. That's what I think. I think, you know, who's really going to be disappointed when all this comes out, that it's not true? Mama. Yeah, Mama Kelce will be very disappointed. Yeah. Because she'll have to disappear back into the limelight. Because both Kelce brothers are close to the end of their football careers, believe it or not. Right. Jason, by the way, had to have his part of the action this weekend. He went off on the coaches on the sideline about something, but I think he was on the sideline going, look, I'm going to pretend like I'm really upset, but I'm really not. But I want to get some air time. Right. Can I get some camera time? Yeah. I'm just going to flail my arms like I'm really pissed off about something here. So just go along with me, coach. Just go along. Put me back in the game, coach. Put me back in. You know, I'm a little, I hate to go down this path, but I'm a little tired of the Kelce brothers. And I'm really tired of hearing and seeing Mama Kelce. Mama Kelce. She's loving all the hype. And the thing is, is when she doesn't understand Mama Kelce, because all the people want to hear is about Taylor Swift and Travis. Yeah. And Mama Kelce said, knock you out. Mama keeps talking about her sons. But did you catch where she said, it was okay. It was okay. It was okay. It was okay. What was it like meeting Taylor Swift? You know, they're all excited. That's Hoda and Jenna Bush who hosts the Today Show. It was okay. Today Show on NBC. And they ask her, you know, what was it like meeting Taylor? It was okay. She's starting to sound like, what's his name? Dustin Hoffman in the movie Rain Man. It's just okay. Definitely okay. I bought my underwear at Kmart, 100 Cincinnati Avenue, Cincinnati, Ohio. Judge Wapner. Judge Wapner. Wapner at 11. Wapner at 10. That's what she sounded like. It's okay. Well, she didn't sound overly enthusiastic about it. Yeah, I mean. I thought she sounded more like Paul Lynn. It's okay. Oh, my stars. The next two weeks, they'll be in Kansas City. The circus will return to Kansas City. And she may show up for those games. And if she doesn't, maybe this kind of fizzles out. We've talked about this. We know this is all fake and phony and a facade for some reason. Maybe to raise his profile or for her to just keep herself alive. Because she's got a movie coming out soon, her concert. Well, you have to understand what's really going on. Because all the behind the scenes. Because this is being controlled by Disney. Oh, I did not know this. Oh, yeah. Is that tied in with the Super Bowl maybe? Hey, I'm going to Disneyland. Everything is all tied in together. So, Disney is basically betting that the Chiefs are going to be in the Super Bowl. So that if they win again, they'll be front and center with Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. Saying they're going to Disneyland or Disney World. But here's the plot, man. Here's what's happening. I can see it. It's coming to me as we speak. Taylor and Travis break up at some point during the season. Kansas City wins the Super Bowl. They pan to Travis and he says, I'm going to Disney World. And then here is Taylor right next to him. We're going to Disney World. And everybody's going like, oh, look, they're back together again. Taylor and Travis are over. You know, you missed your calling. You should ride for soap operas. That's just the most ridiculous scenario I've ever heard in my life. But if you like it, that's good. Don't buy any popcorn waiting for that one, folks. But, you know, I can just see. You know, we've been in these meetings with the high-power executives. I've got a great idea. Really? Pass the booze before you say it. We'll like it better, Travis. Everybody gets liquored up, man. Everybody's got a great idea. Yeah, let's run with it. Oh, yeah. It's gone that way. It's gone that way for many, many years. Because, you know what? It's always funnier if you're a little fucked up. That's right. Absolutely. You know, what else is funny is I read this about the comedian Amy Schumer. And she was talking about she was sharing on her Instagram account aging photos. So she was showing that when she first started out and when she was younger, she had no age lines and she looked very young and pretty and taut. This was on Instagram? I'm pulling up my Instagram now. I got to see this. Instagram, yeah. Nothing gets me hotter than Amy Schumer. Through a series of throwback photos on Instagram, the comedian sounded a cautionary note to people in their 20s. She said, Schumer, who's 42, is warning the 20-somethings, Life is coming for you, bitches. That's what she said? That's what she wrote in her Instagram. That's what she knows for you. Life comes for everybody. That's just it, yeah. The bitches and the bastards. So that's it for the bitches and the bastards. I'm looking at it right now, and, you know, I haven't passed out yet. Oh, wait a minute. I found it. You found it? Oh, wow. She's got pictures of her when she was 20 years old. Yeah. My response is, what the hell happened? Oh, that's terrible. See, this is how we react. Life is coming. Life came and got and snatched her up. Like, wow. It happens. It happens. It's going to happen to every one of us. And I think maybe these younger girls, like Amy Schumer, who's only 42, to me that's very young, I think that they're recognizing that they don't want to, or realizing they don't want to look like Meg Ryan or any of these people who have had facelifts that now kind of look monstrous. You know, it was weird for years. Heather Locklear said she would never do plastic surgery, and she has. And now I can't tell her Meg Ryan apart. One other that's done plastic surgery that's constantly promoting her diet, Marie Osmond. Now she looks like a little old man with a wig. You know, it's kind of scary. She looks like Jimmy now. You know, we had little Jimmy Osmond. Exactly. Well, you know, time marches on, as this show does. And we thank you. That's going to wrap it up for the Rats Ass Podcast with Mark and Dave. We appreciate you listening on this Monday, Columbus Day. You're not going to get any mail today, so don't go out and look for it. We're going to be back with you on Thursday. Mark will let you know where you can find us. Facebook.com slash Rats Ass Podcast. That will get you in touch with everything you need to know to listen, to interact with us, and ask us fun questions like Kimberly in Syracuse. Yes, we appreciate it. Have a beautiful day. Be good to each other.