RTG Episode 4

In this episode of Rob the Graveyard, Terry Bryan emphasizes the importance of choosing the right partner, staying away from negative influences, maintaining a positive mindset, embracing adversity, and dealing with criticism constructively. He encourages listeners to have a strong determination and never give up on their ultimate goals in life. Welcome to episode 4 of Rob the Graveyard. My name is Terry Bryan. So far in the previous episodes of this podcast we've done an introduction, we've embarked on your journey and then we looked at your vehicle, what it takes to get to your ultimate destination. Now that you are on the journey you need to watch your step. You need to start looking around you, checking to see what's going on, making sure that you're on the right path and doing the type of things that you need to do to maintain your consistent progress towards your purpose in life or your ultimate goal. That's what this is all about. This whole process of Rob the Graveyard, the meaning behind it, if you listen to the first few podcasts you would understand exactly where we're coming from and the whole idea here is to maximize your potential and reach your ultimate goal in life and leave this world with an empty tank. Meaning give it all you've got. Don't waste time. There are many people in this world who love and would love to have an opportunity and don't have one. Most of us here who live in America we have many opportunities that we don't take advantage of and that's just the bottom line. Everybody doesn't want to be great so this particular podcast is for those who feel that burning desire inside their gut, inside their heart, want to do something special. If you just want to mosey on down the road and just be an average or ordinary person it's okay. Everybody gets to choose their own destiny and their own path but if you are the kind of person who wants to do something special in your life, make a difference for your family and your future generations and you want to do something to help the world if it's not your family, whatever it is you want to do, if it's something great beyond just the average or ordinary that is what we mean when we say Rob the Graveyard and this podcast is specifically tailored and geared towards you. So there are number of things that you need to be aware of when you're making your journey. You're on your journey towards your ultimate destination and one of the things that is often overlooked but it trips people up a lot and as a man I hate to say it happens to men more than even women. We get tripped up a lot. Why? We do not choose the right partner. If you are going to be successful in life long term you have to choose the right partner because there's no person or nothing in your life, maybe the exception of health. We talked about health in the last episode but if you want to be successful you got to have the right partner with you. If you're a woman you want to have the right man. If you're a man you want to have the right woman and if you are of a different persuasion you still want to have the right partner. So it's very important that you choose the right partner. Why? Because if you, I'm going to speak from the perspective of being a man okay but this is just general for all people. As a man I can only speak from my perspective. If I'm pursuing or I should say as I'm pursuing my ultimate destiny, as I am on the path to robbing the graveyard, I cannot for example be out there working and doing all I can do and giving all I have and be worried about what's going on in my home. I don't want to be or don't need to be worried about what's going on with my kids. Is my wife taking care of my kids properly? Is she taking care of the home properly? Is my wife or my partner, is she out there messing around with some other guy? All those type of things you don't need to be worried about. That's why it's important for you to have the right partner because why? You have to stay focused on what you're trying to do. I'm just talking straight plain brass tacks here. I'm not pulling any punches. We all are adults, we all go through life, we all deal with all kinds of things in life. So that's one of the things that the man, speaking from my perspective, I cannot afford to be worried about. I cannot be worried about how do I do the things I need to do to achieve my goals in life. I can prepare a path and a way for my family. I'm worried about what my wife is doing. If you're a woman you can't be, if you're out there doing something similar, trying to pursue a dream and a goal, trying to achieve your ultimate destiny, you cannot worry about what your husband is doing. So it's very important to make sure that you have the right partner. Somebody who, when you come home from a long hard day, that is gonna make your life easier. Make you feel welcome. You don't want to be coming home fighting over nonsense. Those type of things are distractions, they create stress, they create anxiety, they create a terrible home environment, the kids are unhappy, the wife is unhappy, the husband is unhappy. All those type things are important. You want to make sure you have a partner who when things get tough, that they're getting the foxhole with you. You don't want to have financial issues and then your wife or your partner is giving you a hard time and making you feel worse than you already feel. All these are the types of things that can happen. Now there's nobody out there who's perfect, but you want to make sure you have somebody in your life who gives you 100% unqualified support during the good times and during the bad times. Especially the bad times because in the bad times, that is when you need that support most. That's when you need an encouragement. That's when you need somebody to back you, make you feel as though they're not going to give up on you. So it's very important to choose the right partner because you will not be successful ultimately if you do not have the right partner on that journey with you. That's very important. The other thing you want to do is, you want to stay away from losers. Now some of the things I say in this particular episode are going to at least sound harsh, but it's just the bottom line. See because life is not a bed of roses. It is tough. You have to have tough preparation. You're going to have tough performance if you want to win. And I'll tell you something, winners win and losers lose. That's just the way it is. And losing as well as winning is an attitude. It's a mindset and you want people around you who have the right mindset. You know there's a study that out there and it's actually, you know, and it's a saying as well that the five people you hang around most are the ones who will have the most influence on you as it relates to where you end up in life. In other words, for example, the five people you hang around most, you're going to end up in their financial bracket, their category. So if you are hanging around people who are financially distraught or financially challenged or financially embarrassed, like we would say about home, then you're going to end up in the same boat because they're going to pull you down. And by the same token, if you are hanging around people who are financially independent, they're going to pull you up because they're going to be doing, talking, and engaging in activities that help them to be where they want to be and actually have helped them to be where they are. And you are going to automatically participate in those activities with them. So it's going to pull you along. So that's why people end up in the same categories in most cases. Like they say about home, birds of a feather flock together. So you're going to make sure that you stay away from losers. It's a mindset. It's an attitude. I'm not here calling any particular person or people losers, but losers and winners fit into a category that is determined by their mindset. A loser, a winner or a loser doesn't mean you have to be rich or you have to be powerful or you have to have money or you have to live in the right neighborhood because those things can all be temporary. We talked in episode 2, I believe, about people who won the lottery and in five years they're broke and in bankruptcy. We talked about professional athletes, right, who win the lottery of sorts. They get big huge contracts and then in a few years they end up broke. Why? Because of mindset. Not because they're stupid or because they're dumb. Because they weren't prepared. They didn't have the right training, the right understanding. And it's the same way with mentality, okay. So a winner is not necessarily a person who have all the things that you may want or that they may want. A winner is a person who has the mindset of winning. A person who is moving consistently into the direction of achievement. Whatever that achievement may be. Everybody doesn't want money. Some people want to be helpful. Some people want to do charity. Whatever it is. The key thing is that they are trying in every way to be successful in whatever they're doing. Ultimately, they win because they have the winner's mentality. Because they know they're going to get it done. They work and do everything they need to do in order to achieve their goals and that's what makes the winners. And those are the kind of people you want to hang around. Because if you hang around them, good things will rub off on you. Good habits will rub off on you, okay. I want to say one other thing about that. I was talking to my wife earlier. We were talking about exercise. Now we all know we need exercise regularly and a lot of people don't. And one of the things that I was explaining to her, as we were speaking, my wife does not like a whole lot of exercise. That's just the way it is. To me, she's not overweight in any way. But she just doesn't like a lot of exercise. She doesn't do a lot. But guess what? Because I exercise on a regular basis almost every day, it encourages her to exercise with me. She goes up with me to the gym and she exercises at least three times a week. And until I was doing that exercise in the gym, she was not doing anything. Why? Because she was not in the environment of somebody who was doing that on a regular basis. But now because I'm doing it, and since I've been doing it for a long time, a lot of times I was jogging and running, she did some of that with me too. But the key point is that she will acknowledge to you today, that if I was not out there exercising and encouraging her to exercise, and her just wanted to go with me because she's encouraged because I'm doing it, she would not be doing it. So that's a perfect example of when you hang around somebody who's doing something, chances are you're going to end up doing the same thing. Whether it's something good or something bad because I guarantee you this, if I was not exercising on a regular basis, guess what? She won't be doing it either. Okay, so that's just a simple example. I like to use simple examples because it helps people understand where I'm coming from. The other thing I want to point out to you is to make you aware of, and to be aware of, and be wary of, are talkers. What I call talkers. Talkers are people who just talk about doing things and never get anything done. People who talk a big game and never do anything. You want to stay away from those folks because guess what? You may not be following them and being encouraged by them and being misled by them, but what happens is that if you entertain those folks too much and you hang around those folks too much, they will talk you into oblivion, right? They will waste too much time talking, number one. This is a simple part of it. That can be detrimental to you, but more importantly, by talking a lot and not getting things done, if you are in business with these people or you are doing things where they are important to your outcome, then you will probably end up being frustrated because they're going to promise you they're going to do this. They're going to promise you they're going to do that, and they're going to talk to them all over the world. They're going to be doing all these great things and never get anything done, and if you are depending on them for a project to be successful or to help to complete an important task that you need to get done in order to achieve a specific goal, then you are probably going to end up wanting. So be very wary of talkers. Talkers being people who all they do is talk and never get anything done. You don't want to be in business with those people. You don't want to partner with those people. You don't want to deal with them too much, right? Because you don't want to be in a situation or be left in a situation where you're depending on them and expecting them based on what they say to get things done that are important, and then they just always come with a bunch of excuses. So be very, very careful about dealing with talkers. Beware of talkers. The other thing you want to watch out for is within yourself. You see, we are all human beings, and we live in a negative world, and one of the things that you absolutely have to do is that you have to maintain a positive mental attitude, right? We all get down. We're human beings. We all have challenges. We all have stresses. We all have frustrations and disappointments, but in order for you to be successful long-term, you have to maintain a positive mental attitude, meaning that when you get down and you're feeling depressed or you're in the doldrums or you are disappointed by things, you've got to get up and dust yourself off and let that moment last but for a time. Even if you have to get to the point where you say, you know what? I'm feeling down today. I'm feeling bad today. Whatever you're feeling, you have to give yourself a time limit if it comes down to it. You know what? I'm going to sit down here and I feel sorry for myself. I have that mental breakdown or whatever you may want to call it, and then after an hour or two hours or six hours or whatever, I'm done with that. I'm getting back to work. I'm getting back on my horse and riding on over here, okay? That's what you have to do. Sometimes if you feel like you need to take some time off to feel sorry for yourself or feel sad, you may think even that you deserve that for all the hard work, but it's okay. Take a little time to do that if you need to, but don't let it be for a whole day because one of the things you want to do is that you want to make sure that you don't have a bad day. Now, this may sound a little crazy, right? I always felt like I wanted to make sure that I don't want to let my entire day be bad. I have to find a way oftentimes to pick myself and think about something positive. Manufacture something to make you feel better about yourself and better about life, okay? You have to do that, and I heard Coach Deion, Coach Frank, I heard him say this one day. He said, I never have a bad day. He said, I may have a bad minute, a bad moment. I may have a bad hour, but I do not allow myself to have a bad day because I will not allow what is happening right now, what has happened to carry the entire day for me. I've got to find a way to get out of it. That's basically what he was saying, you know, at the bottom line of what he was saying, and I totally agree with that. Do not allow yourself to have a bad day, especially if you are fairly healthy. There's some folks out there who, quite frankly, are in some really bad physical and health situations. Now, those folks I have a lot more sympathy for, but for the average person who can get up and go, you shouldn't allow yourself to have a bad day. Have a bad moment, have a bad hour, have a bad half a day even, but you have to decide because decisions are key. Decisions are your pathway to success. It is in your moments of decisions that create the way forward for you to success because you have to make that decision. You know what? No matter what happens, I am NOT going to allow myself to have a bad day. Simple as that. I will find a way to overcome whatever it is that's making me feel bad or what has happened today because tomorrow is still going to come. And feeling bad about what happened to me earlier, it's not going to make it any better for me tomorrow. I have to find a way to get past it, get over it, get around it, get through it, whatever. You've got to develop that type of mindset because that's what winners do. Okay? Which leads me to embracing adversity. You have to embrace the adversity. Adversity will happen. Embrace it. Understanding that that adversity is going to make you stronger. It's going to prepare you for the next challenge, for the next disappointment, for the next thing that goes wrong. Embrace it. Learn from it. Get stronger. Be ready for the next challenge. And the only way to get stronger is to embrace the adversity. It's like preparing for a game, preparing for a tournament, preparing for a race. You're going to have bad moments. You're going to be tired. You're going to pull muscles. All kinds of stuff will happen. But whatever happens to you, ultimately it will prepare you more for the future. When you get tired and you can't get up anymore after working out, guess what? Your body is stronger the next time. Have you ever worked out before and then your muscles were totally fatigued or you couldn't hardly breathe and you were dead dog tired? I've been tired to the point in previous trainings where I was on the field flat with dark eyes, struggling even to move, feeling horrible. But guess what? The next time I performed or I participated in that same workout, I didn't feel as bad. Why? Because my body moved to another level. It experienced that toughness, that fatigue, that challenge. So now it's prepared for the next time. And I would need a greater challenge or a harder workout to get me to that point where I'm lying flat on my back again. That's how life is. It's the same thing in business and in life and in pursuit of goals and performance. You have to go through that toughness, that adversity, that challenge to get yourself prepared to move to the next level. You cannot move forward to the higher level until you face the challenge of the lower levels and defeat and bypass those challenges. So embrace the adversity. And part of that adversity comes in the form of criticism. You have to learn to deal with criticism. Okay? You have to be able to think of it as a constructive criticism. When somebody tells you something you don't like or criticizes something you do, guess what? You think to yourself, how or what can I do to make it better, to become better at this, so that the next time I won't be criticized in this way. That's how you face criticism. Don't get all upset and angry about it. Sometimes it's unwarranted criticism. We know that. But guess what? Think about it first. If you determine that it was unwarranted, so be it. Then you will learn how to be able to brush off that unnecessary and unwarranted criticism. But if it's criticism that is warranted, guess what? You want to make sure that you are better the next time out. So embrace that as well. Deal with criticism in a positive and constructive way. And as you go along and deal with these things, you're going to meet some very serious roadblocks and some walls in front of you. But guess what? You have to take the approach that Hannibal took. Remember Hannibal crossing the Alps? He said what to his team, to his army? He said, we will either find a way or make a way. And you have to approach your goals that way. When you meet your roadblocks, your challenges, your walls, you know, all the different things that occur in your life in an attempt to stop you from getting there, you have to make that decision again. I will either find a way, and if there's no way I can find, I'm going to have to make a way. And that is that dog attitude you have to have. You have to have a junkyard dog mental attitude. You have to grab onto your goal and don't let it go. No matter what, hold on to that goal. Never let it go. Find a different approach. Find a different way. But never give up your goal. Your ultimate purpose in life will never be denied if you have the right mental attitude. You have to find a way. And the last part of what I want to speak about tonight is something that I thought was kind of corny. I remember years ago, I used to hear Jesse Jackson talk about keep hope alive. And it sounded so corny to me. And I would laugh sometimes. But you know what? I've come to realize that hope is very important. There are times where we are really feeling down and things really don't look good. And the only thing that we can hold on to, and I've experienced this myself, is hope. Hope for a better tomorrow. Hope for a better way. Hope that something good is going to happen. Because the moment you lose hope, you've lost everything. So you have to keep hope alive. Keep life in perspective. Understand that tomorrow is another day. The sun is going to rise again tomorrow. Next week is going to come. Next month is going to come. Next year is going to come. As long as you're alive, you have an opportunity to move forward. As Les Brown once said, if you can look up, you can get up. And that's the approach you have to take. Keep hope alive. Do not give up. As corny as it may sound, when you don't have no alter, you can't see nothing else. You search every corner, every nook and cranny, you can't find a way. You can't come up with anything. Never give up hope. Keep hope inside you. Understand that. You know what? I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I believe. I have hope. Or I know. I shouldn't even use believe. I know that I'm going to find a way. I'm going to get something done. I have hope that something good is going to happen. Something is going to pop up to help me get out of this situation. Something is going to show up to help me. That's how you have to be. When you've done all you can do and there's nothing left to do, the one thing you can have is hope. And with that being said, we look forward to episode 5. This is the end of episode 4 and we will come back on next Monday with episode 5 and continue towards our journey to financial independence and achieving your ultimate goal, reaching your destiny and living the life that you've always wanted to live and that you know deep inside you're the only one holding yourself back.