1983-07_22 Conscious Dialogue Q&A - 3

Talk: 19830722-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-conscious_dialogue-1470 Start_time: 00:44:02 Display_question: How do I investigate my intimidation related to Q&As? Keyword_search: dialogue, questions, answer, argument, law school, communion, relax, together, alive, intimidated, free association, deeper, investment Question_content: Larry: Seniority, go ahead. That's all right. Questioner: I forgot what I was going to say. Larry: Okay. But, you know, it's an opinion, so it's not too dangerous. Questioner: I think sometimes these questions arise out of the dialogue rather than known beforehand. That’s the purpose of inquiry is you say something and you get a reaction and maybe it's a retrospective look, retrospective understanding. “Ha, that was my question. I didn't even know what it was.” And I think it's important to allow that. Larry: Oh, yeah, nothing is being… there's not a thought control kind of approach. But, for example, let's say out of the dialogue, something is stimulated in you. Part of your inquiry is to see what that is. It could be just like free association or it could be deeper. In other words, what produces the reaction? It can come from anything. It can come from a leaf falling on the ground right in front of you and suddenly a deep question or a deep insight comes. Questioner: Then if you let the conversation boil up and you can look back at it and say “aha” or you can say, “What happened there? What was the real question?” Or, you can look at it afterwards. If you never start, you may never have anything from which to work. Larry: Yes, but we all have to do it together. If we all do it together, there's a level of intensity at which we meet which makes it more alive for all of us. It's true… Questioner: It doesn’t feel alive. Larry: What? Questioner: What’s happening here doesn’t feel alive. Larry: That’s true. Why not? Why doesn’t it? Does it not feel alive for you? Questioner: I’m intimidated. Larry: What? Questioner: I’m intimidated. Larry: What? Exactly. Okay, I knew that there was some possibility. Okay, let's work with that. What's the intimidation about? Questioner: Well, in my case, I had this remarkable experience just a little while ago, and it's been coming up in my heart about the way my jaws are fixed and the fear behind that I'm trying to hold everything still. And, oh this is so wonderful to me, but I don't know if there's a question here… but to me, the nature of fear is very much revealed in this. Larry: Mhm. Questioner: But I'm embarrassed to bring it up this way. Larry: Why? Why be embarrassed? Questioner: Because, you know, we're saying dialogue and question, and neither of those apply. Larry: Okay. That's what we're talking about. There are many worthwhile things in life outside of dialogue and question. It's just this one kind of activity. But even in what you said, there's the possibility of pausing and going into the fear. In other words, “I find myself frightened. Why? What is that about?” And sometimes exteriorizing it, that is, sharing it with a group of people can help bring you to it. And other times we can use a group to lose ourselves in it. But it's not to squelch the other kind of experience that you had. I'm sort of featuring one aspect of what can happen between people, between a group of people. Questioner: Wonderful, because right now as you're talking, I'm feeling myself, the jaw, which is… You know, there's a lot more movement possible. To me, this is a big revelation, you know, that I don't have to be focused on my question and the answer. We can talk about something else maybe. Larry: Sure. Okay. But is there some investment at this point in getting away from question and answer on your part? In other words, are you motivated in some way to avoid it? See, if we're free, we can do everything, anything; it doesn't matter. What you want to do is fine. But is there something that's compelling you to avoid question and answer? In which case, then that would be potentially a useful thing to explore… only for you right now. Questioner: Yes. I don't feel that I'm very good logically at argument, you know. Larry: Argument. Questioner: Yeah. Larry: Okay, so there's an assumption that it would be like an argument. Questioner: Uh-huh. Yeah. Yes, that’s the association for me. Larry: Mhm, Okay. Questioner: That's communion. Larry: Right. I mean, it might have come to an argument, but I know that my intent, I'm not particularly enamored with argument either. I don't enjoy that mode. Let's work with this because maybe this can be helpful. I went to law school, two law schools, in fact, for a while. And the reason that I left, or one of the main reasons, is I felt you were getting paid, you were professional arguer. And it's just not in me. I was not interested in that. And that's what they were trying to develop. So I don't think I wanted to argue with you, but maybe from your past. Questioner: Yeah, Yes. I think that's very interesting for me. Larry: Yeah. Questioner: Because this is my association. And yet what is actually what's actually taking place this evening from your opening, the sound of your voice opened something in my heart and I wasn't afraid to talk. But isn't it interesting still the association is argument and logic? So the past, in a sense, enters in and pollutes the present. And if we have the right spirit, then it doesn't matter. In other words, we learn from whatever comes up. We take it as a training. Personal joke, excuse me. Questioner: Just to explain. McLaren was mimicking… Larry: …including a German accent. Questioner: You’ve got to do it with the accent. Larry: What? Questioner: It has to be done with the accent. Larry: Yeah, it has to be done with the accent. It doesn't have any power without the accent. I think that the way in which I presented it made it a very self-conscious, intense, and some of that is inescapable. And it's all right, I feel, it's okay to get it going, to put it on the agenda, to get ourselves opened up towards it, so that eventually it could be more of a natural thing for people to understand that the communication itself is not outside of meditative life. Your arm was going to fall off. One thing that's required is more patience with this because the tempo is a little slower. I'm doing my best to slow myself down because we have to allow each person speaking enough space to be with what they're saying. And if you feel people around you going like that, like that, it makes it hard to do. You feel a little guilty or you have only a few seconds to get it out. So that's one issue that I'm learning about as we do this. End_time: 00:52:07 ___________________________________________________________________________________