Chris Davies: Curious George & Amacing interview @ Burning Man 2023

The speaker introduces themselves as Chris Davies, a music producer and hobbyist. They discuss their project called The Deviant Fix and their collaboration with a friend named Adam. They mention that Adam is a successful and fully human being, while they themselves are unsure if they have achieved that. Chris describes their current state as playfully curious and finding delight in challenges. They discuss their concept of being a full human being as a balance between never being satisfied and finding satisfaction in everything. They mention their admiration for Bob Ross and his message of never being satisfied with one's work. Chris reflects on their struggle to feel centered and satisfied like Adam does. They talk about their current physical location at Burning Man and how it relates to their life. They express gratitude for the positive reception of their energy and vulnerability by others. They mention that interacting with people at Burning Man reinforces their trust in themselve Who are you? Who am I? That's an excellent question. So, I will give my default name. I'm Chris Davies, music producer, hobbyist, and human in attempt. What was that? Human in attempt. What means that? What does that mean? Yeah. It means that I'm uncomfortable claiming to have succeeded at that, but that I'm having to have a lot of fun trying. Yeah. What was that we were listening? Oh, so that was, that's one of my projects. It's called The Deviant Fix, and it's, I find myself in a lot of duos recently, probably because it's easier to handle a dyad than it is a whole band dynamic. But yeah, so it's me and my friend Adam, who lives in Bennington, Vermont. Wonderful human being. Fully human being. He succeeded. I don't know what I have, but he certainly has. He's got like, he's having a kid, and he's, yeah. But anyway, yeah, I've long, like, it's kind of a happy nine inch nail thing. It's probably the closest quick triangulation I can give you. Okay, can you describe where are you right now? What am I right now? Yes. Oh, man, can you narrow down that question a little bit for me? How much time do I have? Like, right now, in this moment, I, so actually, let's put it this way. In the space of our entire relationship, you found me probably at like my most engaged and most present, which is cool, but also probably is now a horribly unrealistic expectation for you of me as a person. But I gather that's probably not what you meant by that question. So what am I now in what sense? Whatever sense you want to mean. In your life? How do you find yourself in your life? Playfully curious. Yeah. Playfully curious. Right now, everything seems like, yeah, it just seems like a, there's delight at receiving whatever challenge, experience, et cetera, and so forth, and trying not to hold on to that too strongly, because I know there will certainly be plenty of situations in the near future that I'll go like, fuck all of this shit. I'm tired of XYZ. I don't want to deal with ABC anymore. But yeah, right now, everything's cool. What do you think means to achieve being a full human being? What do I think it means to achieve being a full human being? Um, I don't know. I feel like if I knew I'd have a better shot at aligning myself and pointing towards it. I think there is. So for a really long time, I've felt like the cognitive dissonance between never being satisfied and being able to find tiny bits of satisfaction in almost everything have been the fun balance that I've been shooting for. There's, this is going to sound trite as all shit, but there's, you know, so I'm a huge Bob Ross fan. I've had like all 35 seasons or whatever of The Joy painting on my phone for years, and I'll fall asleep to it most nights. And he routinely is like, you know, I hope you're never satisfied with any of your paintings. And like I said, it's super, super trite, but there's a part of it that like, I really like that energy of, uh, but that, you know, like trying to marry the idea that like, it's never enough with the idea that innately you are born and are always enough is a weird cognitive flip for me to hold in mind. But that's, yeah, that's the balance point that I'm continually trying to aim for. So I feel like, um, to be fully human is to winnow to the present moment and achieve that balance for me. Yeah. Morning. So what is missing for you to be, um, fully human? So that's, yeah, I mean, I think, I think like, for me, um, for me, it is to be, um, so people talk about flow state a lot. I don't necessarily know that that captures it for me, but it is. You say before that this, uh, that person succeeded. Oh, yeah. So why you did not yet? So I'll give you a great, uh, this is one of my favorite Adam stories, but you know, we're, we're in Vermont and we just finished writing a bunch of stuff. And then we went camping and we're at the top of this mountain that has like an abandoned mining town on the top of it. And it's a lake and, uh, we're sitting there and, uh, just watching the sunset. And, uh, I think we're drinking some whiskey or something. And he was just like, yeah, you know, like it doesn't, it doesn't take much. And it's just in the, you know, like, and, and it's easier because I know him, but like looking at his character and his disposition, it's just, that's, that's his default mode. And I really, really, really appreciate that because I don't think I've ever felt that internally. Like I've, I've always struggled with the voice that's, you know, like it's not enough, whatever it is. I want more of it, whatever, if it's curiosity, if it's satisfaction, if it's pleasure, if it's, you know, like, uh, intellectual curiosity, if it's, you know, deep moments of meaning, um, it's very hard for me to access that place where I just feel centered and like, it's enough. And the fact that he seems to embody that and like in that, in, for me, it was just like that, everything collapsed into that one moment and hearing him articulate that I was like, fuck, like, yeah, that's, that's him in a nutshell. That's my whole concept with him. And I know that's not entirely true. You know, I know he sweats, he gets frustrated. I thankfully have access to behind the curtain. So I know that there's times when he's super not chill and cool, but, um, he's one of my few friends who I just feel like he has, he has such an ability to just tap into that gratitude immediately. And it's very, very cool. Um, and I enjoy that like being around him challenges me to be, uh, to let go of whatever I need to let go of to do the same. So. Uh, going back to the question before, where are you right now? But physically, physically, can you describe your surroundings? Oh man. Uh, we are in the middle of, of an excellent, uh, excellent grist for the mill. As far as meditation goes, we are in an absolute shit show, uh, with what 48 hours to go in this year's Burning Man. And, uh, we have almost, almost total cloud cover, um, and a brisk, I tag this at maybe high sixties. So yeah, it's, we're in a, we're in a total fuck show right now. Um, and it's great. We've got a couple hours of engineering ingenuity. Um, what next? What next? That's a nice question. I mean, uh, I'm still very much in sort of, you know, like amphibian lizard grade mode where there's, there's not much to do besides me. You know, I think I'm, as opposed to what I'm using the, yeah, like I'm not, I'm not exploring much right now. I just like recentering at home, enjoying watching everybody just keep the place running. Um, and also enjoying like people coming back with stories and I can, I can just rip off their exploration for the moment, but. Great. And how is this a metaphor for your life? Um, that's actually a damn good question. Uh, and I think, I think it's funny because that it does tap into the sense that I have of like, so I've been, I've been going ham for the past couple of years, like really just stacking adventure on top of venture on top of venture. And I feel like, uh, there are a lot of people in my life who have gotten juice from that and just from, you know, and, and like, I really enjoy telling stories. And so there are a lot of people who are very, very happy to listen, which I'm grateful for, but I feel like, uh, I'm approaching a place where I'm kind of cool, especially now that I like moved across the country and, you know, I can really sort of build a community in a home. I'm kind of cool to sit back and like, let other people's stories come to me and I can absorb the energy that way. Cause it's the side of that interaction that I'm not on much. Um, and so I think, yeah, actually in a way this is a beautiful microcosm for that. Good question. I like that. What did you get in the last past, uh, three, four, five days of being here, interacting with people? I saw you going to the, to the explanator thing with your sofa, inflatable sofa. What did you get for you Oh man. Um, an enormous sense of gratitude that, uh, you know, we, we, uh, so for the listeners, we had a, you know, we had a dinner the first night here and, uh, we talked about fear and gratitude. And I mentioned that like the one thing that I'm super grateful for is that the energy that occurs to me natively is continually well received by those around me. And I feel like I don't feel control over that interaction. So I'm just continually in a place of being like, man, it sure is good that like, you know, the person, the person that I am is someone that people tend to want to interact with and be around. That's like a blessing as opposed to like, yeah, you can fuck right off. Um, and so I think the fact that people have been so willing to just sit down with me and be immediately authentic and immediately vulnerable and, and like the, the, the trust that implies the good intent that implies the shared reality that that implies has just made it, this has been a really fantastic opportunity to, to reinforce that, like, not only can I trust myself, but that like, I, I am, uh, you know, it is, it is rewarding and, and moves me farther and farther exponentially in the direction that I want to go to trust myself. You know, it's not, I don't, I don't need to sit here and like really be like, I like, you know, what are your motivations? Are you heading in the right direction? You know, like, I think, I think right now I'm at an all time low for ambivalence about like, Oh, if I feel it, it's probably pretty, pretty good. And that's, uh, that's a pretty cool thing to rip off of. And I haven't had that for a long time. So it's cool. Very cool. Any other questions? You got some bangers, man. Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He, he wants to, but what is the question you don't want to ask? No, if you were talking about other people's stories and how you let these stories come to you and you say that you're playfully curious, so how, how do you, how do those stories touch your heart? What elements of those stories get to you that you pick, that you choose, that you identify with, that you decide even to produce a song about? Yeah. So I think, I mean, that cuts back to like authenticity for me and kind of, it also feels like a lot of the energy that I'm, that I enjoy about the therapy that I've been doing for the past couple of days out on the playa, um, is just, you know, there are, there are so many lives that I will never lead, right? There's so many things that I'm not inclined to, so many decisions and so many pieces of character that are just not in me, but to be able to sit with them, morning, to be able to sit with them in someone else's authentic reality and, and just witness that, it's so fucking cool to me. You know, the fact that like, it doesn't, it doesn't need to be me, it doesn't need to be my energy, it doesn't need to be my life, but someone else, it's incredibly meaningful to them. I think it's, it's the, the object of meaning that is the thing that really juices me up. So, you know, hearing people tell stories that are meaningful to them, I think like, and, and I, I try and embody this for myself as a storyteller. Like if, if it's meaningful to me, I should be able to communicate that meaning to you because as human beings, we really, you know, it's not, it's not the object of meaning. It's not the fact that you're really into cars and I'm really into cooking. It's the fact that we're both expressing our energy for life through those things that we connect on. So yeah, so when I'm, you know, and to bring it back to your question, like when I'm looking at artists, you know, there's an authenticity and, and a desire to collaborate on reality that I'm looking for when, when I'm producing something and when I'm trying to figure out if I have anything that I can offer a project about. I think there's plenty of projects that come through my door that, you know, I just, I don't, either the artist has their voice completely figured out and I'm like, I, you know, I don't think I'd really make a big difference on this project, you know, so I don't, I feel it's not, it's not my place. And then there are other artists where it's very much like, you know, oh, like mold me, I'm clay in your hands. I'm like, nah, that's, that's to me, like art is purity, you know, like art is inherently, like it is, it is, there's no consensus in art, you know. And so to have an artist without a really strong conviction and perception and willing to sort of like engage in conflict over that, I, I don't personally know how to approach it, art that is. So yeah, I hope that answers your question. Yeah. Where we can find your work? Oh man, I'm terrible at this part. So you can find a bunch of my projects, Deviant Fix, The Caption, a couple other things on Spotify. We have not maintained our websites in quite some time and we are very, we, we post only occasionally on social media. Um, I also have to redo my producerial website. Um, so yeah, this is a terrible answer, but I'm not on social media. Um, but you know what I will say, I, this is going to be, this is going to be the worst, but like I personally invite anybody to come hang out with me and Boise and I would love to have a conversation with anybody. I have, I have two extra bedrooms. Um, so that's, that's my answer. Come, come find me in person. Good answer. Thank you very much. Thanks for having me. This is awesome. I appreciate it. Zonus Radio.