Oh you nauti girl...

In this conversation, the friends discuss the book "It Happened One Summer" by Tessa Bailey. They talk about the rating scale for books, with a three meaning they didn't enjoy it much, a four meaning they liked it but wouldn't recommend it, and a five meaning they loved it and want everyone to read it. The book is set in a small fisherman town and follows the story of Piper and Brendan. The friends also discuss the steamy scenes in the book and some of the explicit content. Overall, they have mixed opinions about the book, but it seems to have made an impression on them. Okay, so we have It Happened One Summer by Tessa Bailey. Tessa Bailey is the queen of dirty talk. Debatable. These scenes are smutty. This book, I gave it four stars and four chili peppers. Carrie, what did you give it? All right, so the stars are like the book in general. Okay, and I think we do need to address the rating scale a bit because I give a lot of books fives. I give a lot of books fives, so we need to discuss its rating scale. I gave this one a three. A three is a book that I didn't really enjoy that much but I was able to keep enough interest in it to finish. A four is something that I enjoyed but wouldn't be pressing on people to read necessarily. A five is like I loved it and I want everyone I know to read this. It doesn't mean it has to be a deep book. Oh no, like you can't compare a romp home to historical fiction or a thriller to a romance. It's like I read it cover to cover and I liked it. So I gave this one a three and we'll talk about why. So I gave it a four. I read it last year and it was my intro to the real steamy books and I was like, whoa, I like it. You lost your book virginity. I mean, I've read spicy books before but I've never read anything this smutty. And I really did like our little fisherman, Brandon. First of all, let me see the cover of this one. I mean, he's got a beard and he's a brunette, so you know, I'm sold. Okay, give that to them and tell me, like actors, like famous people, what each one of them would look like. Well, he's Harry Cavill. Okay, so I don't. These are some famous people. I don't follow like new actors and things. So I'm going to give you like the character names. Are they going to be from like 1920s? Yeah. Luke Skywalker. No, I feel like if I was going to put him in a character that I can envision, it would be like the personality somewhat of like, Nick from New Girl, where he's like grumpy, kind of gruff, whatever. Not physically. But I feel like that's kind of like, he was kind of a standoffish guy in the beginning, right? I feel like I've never read it, so I don't know. But off of not being, okay, you've never read this book before. What does that guy look like? Who does he look like? I don't know. So I don't know, like a famous person isn't coming to mind, but there's a guy on TikTok that, everyone's going to know what this means. There's a guy on TikTok that is like a thirst trap for women, and he cuts big logs in half with an ax. He looks just like him. Can I hear that name? Yeah, okay, I can see that, yeah. But yeah, he's always wearing suspenders. He doesn't have suspenders on this, but he's always wearing suspenders with no shirt. Yeah. So who do you think it is? Because you obviously have no idea. I don't, actually. That's what I was asking everybody. I don't know. Nothing? I don't know. He doesn't do it for me. I don't know. What about her? She does it for me. No. I mean, it's loosely based on the Schitt's Creek character, and I feel like that tracks. I can see this being, now I'm blanking on her name again. Alexis Rose. Alexis Rose. I can see that, and I can envision that. I don't know about him. Who's the guy that everyone loves who's like the superhero? He's from Hawaii. Oh, Jason Momoa? Does he look like him? I mean, he can. Okay. He definitely can. Okay, so I changed my vote from Nick, because those are very comparable men. They're in the same box, okay? They're not even in the same solar system. What do we got here? All right, from the looks of it. Heather Graham? I was going to say. From Roller Girl? I can see that. Or also from Austin Powers, if you did. The girl from 24? Yes. No. That picture looks like it. Possibly, okay. That looks like. It looks like nobody. It's like stock model footage. I think it's intentional that we can't think of another man. So what is this book about? Okay, so this book, as Kerry said, is kind of like they were inspired by Schitt's Creek, by Alexis from Schitt's Creek. So Piper Bellinger and her sister are both kind of tossed out by their stepdad because Piper fucked up one too many times. And they are sent to Westport, Washington, like a fisherman town. Is that how you say that? Like Fisher. Yeah. To run their father's dive bar. And Brendan Taggart. And I don't know why the man wears pants with zippers. The zipper was always, always in the way. Great sweatpants. Why not? Yeah, I feel like it was like, I mean, I like the premise of it. I thought it was like a cute, like, what if story. So they lost like all their privileges at their bank, got like all the money, all the funds was cut off. They had to survive three months in this small town without like the L.A. like social life atmosphere. She was like known for being a party girl and really nothing else. No one really took her seriously. She was pretty shallow. People treated her as though she were shallow. She's not ancient and that's not good for her. Not good enough. I mean, if it's an ER visit. So I feel like the idea of her battering herself. Small town romances are my favorite trope. I love the small town because you always get all the extra little characters in there and they contribute to like the main characters growth. And so I love like the introduction of all the other like small town characters and like how she kind of like had always been seen as like just this party girl with nothing to offer. And when she gets this small town, people start to see her as something else. And like she does have something to offer people. There's the cuteness. And then there was the spice. And there was no warming up for that. That's when Carrie took the stars. It was, hey baby doll, pass me that cake. And while you're at it, show me that pussy. Was there like four chapters of foreplay? No, no. There was no foreplay. There was a part where he took her underwear and like didn't he just jack off on her with her underwear? What? Everyone does. Everyone does. You should, yes. You don't have to whisper. How delicious her clit was and her pussy was so wet. I mean, the number. It was like, and I get it. Yes, lay it out for me. Describe what you see. It's how you feel like you're there. Yeah, I want to be there with you guys. I want to be watching like this. The thinker. It's like, oh, she looked down and she got so aroused because he had her panties wrapped around his shaft and he was jerking himself off. And I was like, what is going on? My lanta. Yeah, the underwear, I'm like, who jacks off with someone's underwear? Is that a thing? I've seen it in a couple books, but I don't think it's a thing in real life. Not a thing in this house. It sounds very like chafy. I don't know. I'm like, I don't get it. But turn her on. Make her real wet. I feel like that has been a common theme. Just from, obviously, I'm not reading these, but from the conversation and what you, Izzy, is belaying to us, me. It's like a slip and slide situation. Put some cones out. Sounds like something you'd get broken. There's a no walk-through zone. We've got to lock this up. It's like if you went to their home, they would have like a cotton wet floor. And a raincoat. Exactly. And a closet. Put on your glasses. Hold on to the railings. So all the wetness? All the wetness. Slip and slide. It reminds me of like, what's that fish guy that has like the yellow, the yellow earring? Oh, God. Way to like connect a fish to that. I'm just saying like, well. Yikes. I'm talking about like going to the grocery store, you know? It's like that fucking box of fish sticks, you know? With the guy with the yellow hat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? All I can picture is Trance George and the yellow man. That's all I picture. That makes me think of the bad guy in Last Action Hero that wears like the yellow thing when he's like fighting Arnold on the roof or something. I don't know what you guys are talking about anymore. Dude, I don't want to know forever. Oh. What about like Simpsons? Like the fisherman Simpsons. That's true. You can do that. The yellow, the yellow, you know what I mean? A lot of wetness. That's all we know. There's no dryness ever. Paddington Bear. There you go. Well, that'll dry me right up. I don't know what you're talking about. Paddington is packing. All right. So, tell me something interesting about this book. Yeah. Why should Joe and I want to read or be interested in any of this? Yeah. Well, because your wives are telling you is like a really big reason. That's a good one. Yeah. I don't read. We've discussed this. I don't read. The last thing I read was The Watchmen and that was a graphic novel and that was 15 years ago. I read it to my daughter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe we can read you an excerpt. Oh, I think you do need to read an excerpt. That's fine. So, like, you know, he's a fisherman. He's a crab fisherman. So, like, it's a very dangerous job. And so where this scene picks up is like there's a huge storm. There was an accident with their ship or their boat, whatever you call it. Boat. And so she raced to the hospital, 30-minute drive from the little town they were in. In his truck. Because she went to, yeah, well, she had already been in his house. He gave her the keys when he went on his trip and was like, I want you to feel comfortable and you can stay at my place if you want while I'm gone. And how long had they been together at this point? They had only, he and her pussy, like, four days before that. He'd only, like, keep her talking on the phone. So, he was very well acquainted with her clitoris and that was about it. Okay. Four days. All right. Well, that's, I would give. That's enough time to give somebody your keys. I'd give someone my keys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, she drives to the, she drives to the hospital. She has no idea who's hurt, right? I feel like at that point. Yes, she has no idea. She's, like, terrified that it's her. And her adrenaline's pumping. Yeah. And so she goes there and they tell her what floor to find, like, her person on that she gave the name for. And they tell them the floor number and she goes over, oh, my God. Figures out it's the ICU floor. And so she's, like, very upset because she thinks something's wrong with the love of her life that she just met. No, she just met. He just met. Yeah. I thought it was funny, too. Like, he's very distraught and his friend was really injured, but it turns out ICU floor is just, it's a crapshoot. Anyone can land there. And his friend's fine. But they find a little room in the back. They find a room. They find a room. Wait. In the hospital? In the hospital. They can't wait to get home. They don't wait for, you know, for a bed or privacy where they can really, like, enjoy themselves. It's a 30-minute drive, Joe. They can't wait. Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah. I mean, drive there to make out. They have ease. Okay. Where's the set? Like, is there a specific place? Washington? Do you know how Washington would be? It's in Westport, Washington. Oh. A fisherman town. Fisher. Fisher town. Fisher town. We haven't clarified that yet. Definitely fisherman. Or fishing. I don't know. Fishtown. Fisher just makes me think of anal fissure. I mean, I can't. Maybe later. Maybe at some point. I'm sure that's when they go double. I mean, this is, it looks like the butt stuff. There is butt stuff. There is butt stuff in this book. His and hers. Are you serious? Yes. Do you want to read that scene instead? I don't. No, thank you. All right, Andrew. Come sit with Joe in the... No, no, no. I'll read this part. I'll read one. Okay. Andrew gets to read the book. It's going to be popcorn reading? Yes. Okay. Popcorn. Popcorn. Get ready for your turn. When I see the word dig in the popcorn, what am I starting at? You're going to start right here. What? Where it says Brendan? Yeah. Last time we started off like... No, you're starting right there. I was like, oh, okay. You need it. All right. Oh, my God. Did you hurt yourself? My wife just hit her knee on something. Brendan, she painted. Yes, baby. And a physical right before I left. Wait. Stop right there. Yeah. Because that's very intimate. That's what I want to know about. Yes. It's because he doesn't have a condom. If you go back a few... He doesn't have a condom, but they really want to have sex. They're trying to justify it to the readers. Yes. By the way, baby, I was just at the doctor. I had a physical right before I left. Cool. I'm done. I have so much unprotected sex that I have to get tested regularly. I know. Thank you. Oh, my God. That's the equivalent... They breathe hard against each other's mouths. I'm all clear and I'm on the shot. Okay. I'm on the shot. There's a birth control shot. Do you take it every month or is this like a... I don't know. I never did it. I don't know the frequency, but I kind of do want to be on the shot. I take a pill every day. Mama's not hungry for that pill every day. Mama can't have babies anymore, so I'm good. Yeah. That scene was so bad. So bad. He dropped his face into her neck and growled. Reaching between them to fist his erection? Yeah. Wait, like... Oh, I thought you meant like... No, like a fist. Like, you make the fist around it. So, that's where my head went first. Right? Like... Gross. Yeah. Was it from unclean to not have the fist inside her? No. No. Okay. Calm down. There was a fist in the beer. Yeah. That's how we talk. That's how we describe that action. I'm all clear, too. Piper, Jesus, are you going to let me fuck you bare? Bare like you're... And this is when Carrie lost it at this book. I know. It was like... Man, it's over. Good day. I just feel like... I feel like there was... I feel like there was so much of an effort made to, like, give a real... I don't know. You're learning about it. It's like an onion. You're learning about the layers. And it's like you're invested a little bit in this backstory, and then it just jumps into, like, he's fisting his erection. And it's like... I don't know. It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... 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