wom reboot ep 17 men's mental health

Nathan and Shelby discuss men's mental health. Nathan believes that one of the heaviest burdens for men is feeling responsible for everything. They also discuss the difficulty for men to rely on women to help carry their burdens. Men tend to struggle with relinquishing control and fear disappointment and rejection. They also discuss the fear of failure, which Nathan believes is a big issue for men. He encourages men to see failure as a learning opportunity. They also discuss how women fear failure too but express it more openly. They conclude by encouraging men to pray against the fear of failure and to open up dialogue about it. yo yo yo Nathan I have to start it off today man you're kicking it all you put me in the hot seat let's do it so uh we're we're doing two today because we got to make up for last time yeah we were out of the office a little bit oh mr. Nathan how are you over there listen peachy remember this was your idea it was so uh Nate a couple of weeks ago the texted me and said you know it's a men's mental health month which it's also other things this month but anyway so I have some questions I'm going to ask mr. Nate and he gets to answer because he is a man and I'm not sometimes I was born in a male way okay so um yeah Nate's gonna speak for all you guys out there I'm gonna hold you down I'm gonna be transparent but I'm gonna hold us down we got it we got to represent yeah I can't answer the questions because I ain't a man so amen and the good part about this is because Shelby is a woman and she she understands she's been in places and situations that she's had an opportunity to opportunity to assess men to look at men to question why it is but just like y'all do with women scratching your head like what the hell we still do it what you gonna be doing it every damn day so fellas I'm gonna represent as much as I can I'm gonna be completely honest very transparent and open I'm gonna be open we go are you ready so these are questions that I came up with just so we're square okay number one what is the heaviest burden for men hmm if I can answer that truth truthfully I believe one of the heaviest burdens that men carry is the weight of the world on our shoulders God gave authority to Adam and he said you have power you have dominion everything all yep creation and that's the heavy because if we don't know how to compartmentalize and if we don't know how to delegate we're screwed and some of us have failed short in that I would say over 80% of men tend to fall short in that area oh I'm going to be a woman and I'm going to say that in the Bible Eve was created to be the helpmate because God saw that Adam was suffering by himself and said it's not good for him to be alone so to segue I guess off of the question I just asked you is it difficult for men to rely on women to carry their burdens with them for them or help them I guess take the weight off again fellas I'm gonna be honest okay that's not even on here so he didn't know this question was coming but I'm glad I'm glad she's she's the Holy Spirit yeah to answer that question I think it is hard at times for us to relinquish control yes control authority responsibility to a woman because I are thinking automatically for a lot of men is I don't want to put that pressure on you as a woman and if we can just keep struggling trying to hold on to everything because we don't we're trying to protect and that's what we go wrong and I see your eyes squinting over there I do it yeah because I'm thinking that you're processing we go wrong in it what I don't know that it's wrong but I think a lot of times men think with a logical brain women think with an emotional brain yes and I think that plays into it as well 100% that men think logically and we're more emotion led yes from a logic standpoint that's how we were created I mean we were created to do be though be those things so that we would balance each other yes and I don't want to use the word wrong you're right about that I don't want to use the word wrong I think we we mishandle the situation because logically we should not put pressure on that which we supposed to protect but also by not expressing or not trusting that person with the weight you are in some ways creating a bigger issue because you as a man can break down yes I agree so I'm gonna just be honest we struggle in that area we don't want to and and yes it's creating a bigger monster because if the woman is providing that for you and want to assist you why not I mean well it's good chairman of 20 years ago but it's a fear of trust it is it's a fear of being let down I think for the man it's a fear of she's not gonna have my back or a fear of I don't know disappointment embarrassment I don't know and I can't speak and rejection on that and rejections big but you know what women fear rejection I think just as much as men do we don't talk about it no women actually do talk about it in more of their emotions men don't because we don't know how to display a level of rejection we just shut down and so when I'm rejected in that area if you was to say hey you know what you can't pick up the bag I'll pick up the bag myself for one the man is embarrassed to you just rejected him of being that in which he supposed what he thinks he's supposed to be and so now it's like either I'm gonna shut you down shut you off in my head or I'm not gonna ever do it again because I'm emasculated now you've just destroyed I mean if you're not strong enough you've just destroyed everything about me heavy we fall short in that so much and I think some of us may be a little sensitive in that in that area but give a woman a chance now that I'm learning give a woman a chance to at least assist and it can work out in your favor but show what and we'll have that conversation with women soon yes some women don't assist without making you feel like crap yeah I mean I I would agree with that I would agree with that and I think that unfortunately when someone when a woman has been put in the position of having to be the leader then that can happen because she's so used to being the one that's made the decisions or is making the decisions for whatever reason she made them bearing the weight basically of the man in her own family or situation we have a hard time relinquishing that yeah if we find someone who is willing to be the which is what a man should be right that's how it was designed yes yes yes and that that does cause problems as well I mean we're not gonna get on the women today but that that causes a lot of problems if you don't understand that she had to carry two positions it's hard for man to sit back and try to study that and be patient enough so that she can be just the assistant so she had to be the leader and the assistant it's hard it's especially if you've done it for a long time it is hard to put that hat down and not pick it back up and I get it now I didn't get it before right well get it now every day is a learning opportunity yes Lord knows I've been learning a lot why one yeah okay next one what is what is the biggest fear for men to answer that as truthfully as possible the biggest fear of men is failure I thought that's what you're gonna say so the spirit was leading me that you were gonna say yes and I guess man this is where I want to encourage you as I encourage myself failure is not what we've made it to be like this world system made us believe that failure was this terrible thing failure is actually a great thing because you learn from it right that's yeah if you don't then it's a problem right right but I thought that if I fail I failed in marriage a couple of times and it made me want to just shut down period of even wanting to be with anybody because I thought I was gonna fail again I'm getting I'm constantly getting F's and it didn't feel good no it doesn't so it makes you run away from that whole concept and that's the biggest fear that I believe man struggle with because we don't want to fail we don't want to fail women we don't want to fill our children we don't want to fail in our jobs in our homes in in anything in life because I said I've I made you an image of me I'm not a failure God is not failure God is God and he said I blew into you me so that's the biggest fear I think you know I took my daughter the other day to college for her visit she's she's scared of failure she's scared to take control of situations she and that's what I noticed but she was already fearing the things she doesn't know how to do like I don't know how to get my schedule and I don't know how to do this and she was fearing those things and and and that comes back to a fear of failure so we have to pray against that because you don't learn without failing come on and failure does not make you a failure failure is just part of the process and it goes both ways but I understand that it is a heavier burden for men women don't want to fail their families women don't want to fail their husbands women don't want to fail their jobs their whatever either we talk about it more to get it out of our systems than you all do so we express it more but you know the fear of failure is a it's a big deal and and I think that we need to be praying against that spirit and open up dialogue that we can't talk about it a lot of men would not share this with other men and say hey we are afraid to fail I don't want to fail my wife again my job again my children again I don't want to fail that again the again means you ain't get the right first time okay but okay so when we're talking about failure though because this is what I see in my daughter they're afraid of how they're gonna she was afraid of how she's gonna appear to other people mm-hmm and she won't appear like she's smart enough that she won't appear like she knows what she's doing so is the failure fear for men that they will is it for other people well how they're gonna look to other people or is it actually for themselves failing for men we don't struggle in that area of competition or comparison we don't struggle with that unless you're trying to be like someone and I'm not I'm not you know saying that women women tend to gravitate to that a little bit more because of the image that's presented in this world system about he has yeah that's trained us that way right I can speak for a lot of men to say we don't we don't try to be like we're afraid of each other up though yeah we definitely like you're always thinking I could take that guy back 100% I got a story from last night but we we saw all the time from a standpoint of you know I can do that probably better and blah blah blah but the the fear of failure is more for us so it's an internal thing it's not a what the world's gonna think of me or because it wouldn't matter to them it wouldn't matter we don't want to fail because we know that we have this authority that God has given us so I just don't want to fail what has been placed in mind so you know you have the ability to do the thing okay like it wouldn't matter about other people enough the the fear that I transparency in marriage I didn't care about the what people thought about me get a divorce you know I didn't really care about that I didn't want to mess up again because the fear of me saying that I can't get this right I thought was a representation of God so I tell that's what they said I don't want to give that off like I'm constantly just messing up but we are constantly messing up we really are and I thank you for saying that in the way that you did it failure is not saying that you are a failure I'm posting that failure is not saying that you are a failure failure is something that can teach you something that you can learn from and do better we look at great success of people you had to fail yes absolutely you had to had to and you need humbling everybody needs humbling occasionally everyone and it sucks yes it does you go through the entire Bible not one person outside of Jesus himself not one that you can bring up that did not fail well and and just I mean he came for the failures it didn't come for the righteous he came for the failures it's the system right we I don't know if we're trained to believe that and I can't fail I don't want to fail her I don't want to fail not having 50 and 60 and 70 years on a job I got him I don't know where that came from who told us that well didn't come from the Bible it didn't exactly from the world exactly right failure brings you closer to God though if it does it's a tool yes men lean for you to lean on him instead of you okay thank you where do men take refuge when I read that question was she said that to me I thought she was trying to be petty because she know me personally so I'm gonna answer it personal you're gonna answer it petty I wasn't trying to be petty I want to hear the petty answer though the petty answer was take refuge on an island and not sail back until you want when do we ever do that I thought that's what you're gonna say no I mean you know being an islander we started this podcast talking about you know I love hot boy yeah there were times and I believe men I can speak for at least a good percentage of men we do isolate and we take refuge in isolation because if you don't trust anyone to understand you try to figure it out yourself yeah I think that men seek peace and when things get hairy pieces like every you have to have it yeah and we'll get it from anywhere well but you'll you run to get it like you that's where you're running away but you have you're running to get peace but I think that men might not understand that women want peace too we definitely have different ways of going about getting it I really want to ask the question but I know it's about men because oh I'm away oh I'm away fellas I want to do it but I'm away women want peace women want peace but they have to have a man who's willing to well maybe it's not time for that discussion yeah I think women want peace I don't I don't know that men I don't know that women want it as much as men do or strongly as men do because our peace is a little different than what y'all's it is like we have so many tabs open on our computer in our brain that I don't know that we ever really have like a like peace like complete peace like y'all tend to be more tunnel vision driven on you know you like you compartmentalize like you said so you're focused on one thing at a time and so it might be easier in some ways to achieve peace for men just because if you can knock that one thing off and get it done I mean I realize there's a list and it goes on and then you move on to letter B or whatever whereas we're just like so inundated that our I think our peace is different than your peace I'm gonna say 100% yes here's the answer our peace man I need you to like really like this up our peace is inside of you all so you're not at peace we're not at peace well damn we need a mic drop button right okay we're over done let's uh I'll hit that little button so you can play your music I'm just saying right now it's real it's real I'm sorry well that's really really really difficult then because I don't know the women have a lot of peace just because we're so like I said all of our tabs are open on our computer exactly okay so where do they take refuge and you said that you guys go on to your islands or your man caves or your garages or your wherever we can isolate or yes we can isolate because we feel like if if the entity of what gives us peace is bombarded or over worked or over exhorted over extended overwhelmed overwhelmed is what I was looking for yes overwhelmed and we cannot receive peace from there so yeah I'm gonna get on the boat I'm going fishing dang I'm going to the man you just gave me a light bulb I'm going to the to the bar I'm going to blah blah blah we try to figure out another way because the first place the first place we think about honestly especially if you have that that covenant partner that one that it's the soothing voice it's the it's the calmness it's the calmness of it the only thing that can calm a king is a queen that that's it right there okay okay what is men's biggest desire I don't know if I can answer for all men on that one well no might be I mean really we can only answer for you but yeah here's a subject right now I'll be personal um my desire my personal desire has always been to please God I don't say that because I'm super deep and spiritual I take away the desire of these earthly worldly things because those things change so quickly but there's a greater satisfaction that comes with satisfaction yes that comes with pleasing God than pleasing people so you can get a quick desire quick fix yes from people all the time and then I mean we gravitate to the quick fix because we're trying to get that piece so the quick and sometimes it's a PIEC and I'm trying to be PG we gravitate to those things quickly quickly because we do want P A C and sometimes it comes in the form of PIEC exactly exactly and all the other P words I believe that if my desire was focused on a lot of the common worldly things then that would be my greatest reward and it'll never be a I'll never be satisfied I'll always be after it I watch people where I grew up at I watch people do a certain drug it was a crack cocaine and if you look at the concept of how crack cocaine was made it was made for you to continue to want it more and more that's why I became so like it took over so quick because you kept wanting to have it yeah you had to have it so now same thing with a desire if I desire a position if I desire money if I desire power women whatever it is you gotta keep going for it keep getting that fix and you will never ever reach the place of being satisfied at all but I can be satisfied when God says good job yeah I don't think I think that that's a Nathan answer I don't think that that's a broadly painted no rush answer for that's what I try to kind of give a greater population of men out there yeah I tried to give other ways I hope I hope that they answer it in that manner but you would hope you would hope but this world is worldly mm-hmm and it's whirling yes it is when you talk about the word desire though that something that you desire is something that you like you want so bad mm-hmm right I can't answer for men all men on that one because I want so bad to really please God and I don't say that to be deep that's the only way I can get to be satisfied money it changes so quick position it changed a little too yes you can have it and you still not be satisfied I've watched it watching a podcast the other day of a guy saying you can have so many cars so many clothes so many whatever shoes within whatever and you still not be complete like what is the greatest thing that you you're wanting like what is it and I tapped into something so that bless my heart I want to be a giver more than anything and that when I when you desire God it comes natural when you're a giver you know this it comes natural like you don't think about it twice you don't look at you just be like God thank you because the Bible says he'll give seed to the sower right so if I'm gonna give you more seed you just keep sowing all you gotta do is keep sowing I'm gonna give it to you just keep sowing it right when I tapped into that principle when I tapped into that principle I was like oh so what am I trying to gain power and money for I'm gonna keep giving it because he gonna keep giving it that's big that's a big idea it's a big thought big thought big thought okay well I was I had a segue or a second part of that question which is it a struggle to get what you want what you desire and if so why but I think we kind of already yeah we covered that for me it's not okay here's here's a pokey one why don't many men lead anymore it's a prickly one yeah all right fellas I'm gonna answer this harsh are you real yeah I know where you're going well something I learned I'm gonna answer this as harsh as I can men don't lead because we don't know how to lead we're not leaders no more we're managers I needed a thing or crickets sorry you have the soundboard so I couldn't do it we became managers now we're trying to manage you're putting out fires mm-hmm you're firefighters because leaders have to be led before they can lead I was gonna say so why don't we have leaders like we're not teaching to lead the Bible says Jesus was talking to Peter and he said Peter feed my sheep Peter tend to my sheep and then again Peter feed my sheep he was teaching Peter how to lead but in all of that he was teaching Peter because Peter was being led and men don't lead anymore because they're not led or maybe we're led by social media pornhub we're led by other things worldly things uh-huh and that's what puts us in the mindset of being just managers so I'm just gonna manage this I'm gonna manage my children instead of leading my children mm-hmm my whole belly I'm gonna manage this covenant connection this person that you've given me I'm only gonna manage her what that's why you feel so incomplete because you're trying to manage her instead of leading her to lead her is to protect her oh you're going down the right line I mean I get yeah yeah yeah but a leader also has to be after not oh I mean we just said they have to not a lead and people haven't been taught how to lead because leading isn't just commanding no oh god no yeah leading isn't dragging leaving isn't you preaching pulling you know there's a lot more to leading than just being in charge but what I was okay so here's where I thought you're gonna go with that because of the women maybe I'm weird but I kind of pick up on this weird that women have taken over a leadership role in family now that could be because men don't know how to lead and someone has to be a leader because I lived it but I think that that has you know there's a lot of role confusion going on in our families and someone has to lead there has to be a leader whether it's in business whether it's in family whether it's in finance whether it's any someone has to lead someone has to be in charge so if the man's not gonna then the woman will but unfortunately that has led to the rip curl of the backlash which is now men don't lead because women have decided to take over and be in charge no matter what and once they get to that position and they've been there long enough like we've talked about before it's very hard to relinquish that position and allow men to lead even though you might actually find a man who is a leader yes because you're still having to fight to put that position down yes as a woman even though you want to all that but we're not talking about women right now but I just think that that's another facet to it that women have taken the position in a lot of ways and so the men either haven't had to lead they don't know how to lead or yeah or yeah they've allowed the women to lead because it's easy yeah and well we can all talk about the feminist movement all that but anyways right yeah I think that's part of it too but that's speaking from a woman's point of view and you're right you're right especially allowing them to lead and you take the backseat there may be times and I say this as honest as possible from a man there may be times where a woman a season where a woman may have to lead in that season mm-hmm could be health issues could be mental it could be psychological whatever it is even financial there may be a time where a woman has to lead but if she stay in that position too long that can cause a lot of damage yeah because those roles get set and then it's like concrete yes yes very much so and now you're saying hey as the Bible says as for me in my house she's looking at you like excuse me I run this man cuz I run this house and you can't say that anymore because you you're you're not leading you now have become the manager yeah you switch roles and let's give the benefit of the doubt I grew up in a single-parent home and was I taught how to lead not by a man right unless it was guys on the street and those guys did give great I'm talking about you've heard she'll be talking about they've given great advice to me to become the man I am today I'm thankful for the pimp but did my mom know how to lead as a man she was my mom right she wasn't a man she wasn't a man I'm not a man exactly so you don't know how to lead as a man right and it takes for that man to at least begin to understand hey I need to kind of understand how to do it maybe get around some men maybe take some advice from men because I think the previous question was where do we take refuge we should take refuge and be important to buy men that have probably went that way and we get some understanding but we've become so hard that we can't even receive from our own other men and we can relate to each other can y'all really do that though I can really go there with that because we really can show we just don't want to right there are men because it's perceived as weak 100% from the age of 40 to 50 every man can relate to each other and I promise you that I'll wait I promise you we can relate to each other on every level whether you're married exactly yeah whether you're single whether you are kids whatever you can relate yeah you've experienced the roller coaster of life do we do it no you don't even talk to other men right there's a guy and he's gonna probably listen to this we work with very closely at a ministry and I am now in this probably year I've gotten closer to this person in a relating type of way as a man then I have I mean even just working with him what two years now two three years and just we just work together but now we're relating so much right as men right that we probably didn't want to even have you're seeing another side to that person that you didn't see before and he's seeing the same you know vice versa relating now because we understand right so you're seeing that y'all really are similar yes yeah and you struggle with the same thing yes yeah which is what you know society doesn't want us to think that we struggle with the same things we want to think that we're alone in struggling why is it easier for women like you all were taught as teenagers have these slumber parties we didn't have no slumber parties sorry I'm not gonna sit up with no guys you know everybody talks about how great slumber parties were and a lot of times it was like hazing it wasn't like with the girls yes I don't believe it absolutely leave it that's for a different conversation I want to talk about it in a different conversation because women were like y'all were trained to come together and like hash out we're nurturers that's our that's our nature is to nurture and so to nurture yes you're trying to be peacemakers you're trying to be but y'all come together as women yeah we don't we got a size you up well I don't know that God designed you to be necessarily that way like to come together because if if the man is supposed to be the authority figure in his family y'all y'all is the authorities y'all you can't you can't usurp each other's authority though you see what I'm saying like you all have your position given by God so we don't have that like we don't have that where we're an authority and I don't know if I'm explaining it you are well if we was to bring Bible into it you didn't you didn't see a lot of Kings go hang out with other Kings right I get what you say right exactly that's a great way to put it a hundred percent but the Queen's would hang out all the time yeah all the time and the concubines that part yeah so um with that with that said do you think it'll been better if they would have had another accountability confidant that was a king and said hey man I'm struggling man I don't talk about she been naked well do you think that pilot went to someone and said oh shit did you see the decision I got to make if he would have had that confidant if you would have had that person to talk to that's why you have God people I agree do men do that now we do size up a lot we do and you're right in that area will that change I don't know you said it God didn't create it that way right I wonder why but he did well God saw that Adam was miserable and he created the woman as his companion he didn't create another man why don't most Christian men pastor their own families oh my god oh my god well let's first talk about what is a Christian I mean as men are we taking on the role of being a Christian because if you are what is a Christian a Christian is to be Christlike exactly are we taking on that role are we take have we taken that title that responsibility that accountability of being Christlike because then if we are then we will be able to pass through our families okay but obviously that's not happening in most families no that are faith-based so it's not I think what's the issue there I think it goes wrong I'll give some transparency my previous marriage I put ministry before family I think a lot of people put work or whatever before family at the success yes yes achievement whatever all of the above yes you put it before family and then if the family become so comfortable on the backburner then you lose them right it's too late when you realize exactly and I believe that that's what happened for me personally because I thought that I was doing what I supposed to do they got you know I'm gonna do whatever I'm gonna follow you I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do that but I didn't give enough time to the spouse or the children and make that a priority knowing that that's ministry as well right as a Christian man I thought I was doing what was right I wasn't because the order if you want to look at it from a biblical standpoint the order is God family ministry I put God ministry family yeah but like I said a lot of people put God job family a lot of people put job God right or job car that's what money success then family then God I mean it's just how it is but I I mean and I I lived it too I the business came first and now I wish that I hadn't lived that way yes ma'am looking back hindsight 2020 but I do I do think again and this is my perspective and I'm a woman but I think that there are times in Christian families where the woman becomes the leader in the religious aspect of the family maybe because she has more time for it maybe because it's more of a focus for her I don't know what the answer there is I also think that there are times where the men should be leading as far as going to church and the church they're going to and whatever but a lot of times and this is probably gonna step on toes the women get so set in the church they're going to but it's not nourishing the man there with and the man needs to move to a different church to be fed and the women are too caught up in but what if or my friend group or you know blah blah blah listen many things right so I think then when that happens the men get turned off in their faith walk to a degree and then the leadership falls by the wayside and it falls in the hands of the woman to yeah you started off with saying how sometimes from a Christian standpoint women do lead and I think because you all have carry a trait called nurturing you're better nurturers than men in the home yes that's supposed to be right absolutely so when we don't have any knowledge on taking that leadership role and teaching our family biblical principles yeah we'll give it to the yeah because she's there she got that she'll take him to church yeah sure she'll do this she'll do that and I think that's unfortunate because it does then become the woman's responsibility to be the religious head of the household and that is so backwards oh yeah that's the truth that is 100% truth and if anyone I mean if you have questions please chime in on this as much as possible I've saw it I've watched it growing up I mean it was numerous and numerous amounts of mothers that we saw right yeah with the kids and they were yeah right they were our leaders and I think that's why men turn into I'm gonna put you out on blast now I think men turn into well I'm nothing except nothing from a woman you know woman can't be my leader a woman can't be my manager a woman can't be you know this and that and then we turn against and become I think they call a male chauvinist because we feel if you are over me then I feel less than yeah you're weak yes and so I have to display my my authority because you can't ever be over me and that's that's mismanage as well because if you understand what a woman is she's a nurturer by nature all you have to do is protect that in which she nurtures and cover her she'll submit just protect it and cover her well and and also if a woman is a nurturer she's going to step into holes that she sees because she's going to try and fix it for everybody's sake who was at the tomb first I didn't see a bunch of men clean it up okay I'll wait if we know the power in which you all carry and we always go to the which I'm gonna get on the women ladies I promise you I am I'm gonna it's gonna be a whole section on show but if we really look at Proverbs 31 because they always go to that scripture as a model woman we look at that there's a verse right around verse 16 17 it says her husband praised her children admonished her as well her husband said among the elders but he gave this this covenant praise that's protection that's adoration yeah that's acknowledgement appreciation all the above it was easy for her to do everything else you hear me it was easy because you now recognize how powerful she is in your home sir your home does not run the way it runs without this amazing vessel I'll acknowledge it appreciate it give adoration to it not to put her in a place that she's a leader but make sure she understands how much she and I get it now she'll be my older age and I also think it goes back to what you said earlier there are times when a woman has to lead just because of a seasonal situation yes a temporary situation and she will step into that role because she is a nurturer and she doesn't want the whole thing falling apart so I mean yeah if you if you don't take that portion back over eventually then yeah she's going to continue to lead there that's what she knows to do if you become complacent then that's yeah she's gonna keep the train going down the family fall by the wayside she gonna keep grinding right not that she wants to I don't think sometimes maybe but yeah I think it's out of necessity it's out of trying to bear the burden I think a lot of times if I can just speak a lot of times men think that we I just lost my train of thought and it was really important the Holy Spirit bring it back like we're trying to control things when really we're just trying to keep the balls in the air because if we don't the whole thing is going to collapse and I think that men take that offensively of course instead of like we're trying to take something from them instead of the fact that we are trying to help we're the rib we're there to protect your heart we're there to keep things stable that's what we're there for and I think that society's gotten it twisted unfortunately that that women is trying to take over take over control push them in to the side and I mean you make them feel weak that's not what we're trying to do I mean there are there are chicks out there doing that yeah oh yeah I get it yep I get it and when a man does feel like that some men would be like hey you got that I'm good I'm out or they will become aggressive yes to prove their yeah and now you're trying to take it back in a way that is not pleasing mm-hmm now you become physical now you become traumatic in your talk to her now you're trying to demean her to put her back in a plane yeah so that you can be an elevate yeah and that causes major problems one more thing and I'll be quiet on this one you said something thank you for saying this fellas the last thing I'll say man God's design of us was magnificent look at we're in Genesis to look at how he formed this beautiful creation of a woman he put us in a deep sleep and when he put us in his deep sleep comatose when you're comatose you know you don't feel anything you're unaware you're unaware he took something from us to put in to this creation but also to let us know that she has now that one thing to do and that is to protect the most sacred thing that we have which is your heart that's it she's not designed to protect our head she's not designed to protect now when you put her in these positions as you said the Mockingbird hit you put a mama bear out there she gonna do what it takes mm-hmm to protect right however she wasn't put in that place to do it you know her job was to protect the most sacred thing that we have that's all we have we don't we don't desire for you to jump in front of us when the bullets are flying oh we don't ask you to lay down the the coat over the puddle no but we do require as that cage that you have from us to protect that most sacred thing and there are women that don't do that there are women who and and I think a lot of that boils down to the fact that when your man opens up to you about things you cannot throw those things back in his face in an argument or when you're trying to win an argument or you're trying to prove a point or you're trying to do whatever when when he has fed you those emotional things you have to store them and that's what your job is as the rib is to protect the heart of the man and it ain't easy a lot of the times and I have failed at that to be quite honest in my past but that is what we're supposed to do as women is to be the vault and that's why a lot of men that can probably answer a lot of the questions why would I take refuge because I don't feel that this is protected right why would I not want to lead because I don't feel like like that can answer almost probably every question because if this is not protected the Bible gives an account that not your heart be troubled and if we are afraid here yeah we doing anything and everything that kind of summed it up for me fellas I hope and pray that some of you all men chime in comment something to that sort cuz we're doing this for women to we go wait to the women's month but we have one this I don't even know I don't know mother's month something but we're gonna do this again I've really got a lot of questions for women because one of the things that you brought out from a nurturing standpoint do women get nurturing and leading confused if you don't know the difference you don't have to answer not right now a lot of questions but man I hope that I represented as much as possible I got one more question oh she got one more I'm ready what do men need the most and don't say sex I think we just talked about it honestly in my mature age we need protection for the heart we're afraid you won't say it but if you know a man that is very close to you and he's afraid when his heart is afraid he's different good job thank you Cheryl oh my god I was in the house you survived it I did I can't wait this mean either I'm still looking forward to it man it's gonna be good but thank you thank you all so much for tuning in chef I definitely want you to pray and fellas none of this was to hurt or make someone feel less than or anything to that sort these were questions that I wanted her to ask for myself because there are times where we struggle mentally we struggle emotionally but our emotions are not like women so we have what you call he motions and these he motions we'd never talk about what other men so using a platform like this here I wanted shell to ask these questions because we do struggle in this area mental health men's month you know many men have taken their lives because they did not have this type of open door to talk openly and not be judged right I mean even though it's just share of a cross for me I said some things today that I don't know if I would have said to a lot of people but I felt comfortable enough we're talking to her because she made me feel like I can I mean that's out of her being a friend I felt like I can just say these things hopefully to help someone so hopefully I'm glad I know at least four men personally that have taken their lives man because they didn't have an open door and if I'll be very transparent I struggle with that spirit too I struggle with the spirit of suicide because I had no one to talk to we don't bind that up in the name of Jesus it's gone it's gone in Jesus name we don't and when we don't have it guess what we do we'll turn to a bottle we'll turn to a drug we'll turn to a hotel room in the bed we turn to a whole lot of other things instead of turning to God well y'all can turn to us amen well can we speak for everyone no I mean like if men have if they're I don't want anybody giving up I mean you because we turn to the woman but they be at Motel 6 I didn't mean I meant you and me yeah yeah I didn't mean yeah Lord Almighty it'd be hard well I feel like if if you have that person in your life man especially of the opposite sex that you know that's your covenant partner that's that's the one that God has blessed you with spouse whatever it is please please have open communication we live in a society and a culture now it's rough it's really really rough and we need this open ugly very very ugly we need open dialogue with the ones that we love the most yeah doesn't have to be out in the open open yeah but the ones that we love them we need to talk to you all absolutely sure we need to I mean I feel like I can come to you I got people in my life I feel like I can go to but I don't want to go to the other people they might not want to help in that way they don't have another way amen okay let's bring God back into this Oh Lordy Lordy okay Heavenly Father we just humble ourselves before you Lord we thank you for your creation we thank you for the ideal behind your creation we may not ever get to fully understand it Lord but I pray that one day we can I pray that we can live the life that you ordained for us from the beginning Father that we could understand that we need to put aside these societal ways and and the worldly world ways and and live according to your word father God I lift up the men that's what this has been about today and they are a glorious creation I'm very thankful for the ones I have in my life and I I'm thankful for men in general because I'm not one of those women who can sit here and say that you know the world would be great if it was just chicks and that's it because you didn't design it that way Lord so we know that that's not how it's supposed to be but father we revere your creation we revere you for creating it you are the ultimate Alpha and Omega the beginning and the end you are the end all be all everything above all Lord we glorify you and we pray that you would bring peace to the minds of the men in the world your believers Lord your your faith-filled men and for those who don't know you father if they're hearing this I pray that they would turn their lives over to you and ask you in so that they could be free film and they can have peace I mean you are peace it'll be an experience that they'll never forget and it'll be one that will change them forever so I pray that that you would enter into their hearts Lord pour out a fresh anointing upon your men light a fire within them Lord to be the Lions the Warriors that you have designed them to be to be the leaders the authorities and to lead in the way that Jesus lived to lead in the way that your word says to lead in in love but love does not mean that it's sweetness all the time father there's a lot of there's chastisement there's all kinds of things that come with love but if we if our men would lead as Jesus example was the world would be a different place so father God pour out your wisdom your supernatural understanding your discernment upon your men to know the way to go to stay on the path that is straight and leads to you and to not be drawn in by the world I pray against any assignment from the pit of hell and I cancel them against the men and against the marriages and against the relationships and against what you have created Lord to be the union that sustains everything may anything that the devil throws at those things be of no effect it just bounces off and father just breathe new life into the marriages the relationships the men and fill them with your presence with your guidance with your healing and with your love and ask for all these things in your holy and almighty name amen thank you all so so so so much for tuning in to word of mouth podcast with Nate and Shelby love you see you soon