episode 22 season 2-covenant

The main ideas from this conversation are: - The emphasis on the ceremony and social aspects of marriage has overshadowed the true meaning of covenant between two individuals and God. - The covenant relationship is meant to be deep and sacred, based on trust, faith, and dying to self for the other person. - Legalities and material possessions should not be the focus of a covenant relationship. - Covenant is about the internal commitment and daily celebration with your partner, rather than the external display. - Maturity and life experiences can change one's perspective on the importance of covenant. - It is important to be honest with yourself and your partner before entering into a covenant relationship. - Covenant is a faith-based relationship that requires trust in God and each other, without the need for legal binding. Yo, yo, yo. What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? Nate? Word of mouth podcast. Nate and Shelby. Listen, we back, back, back. Man, Shelby opened the door and I want to jump right in with this. Are we pouring more? Hey, y'all, listen. Y'all make sure if y'all can comment to this one. I need about six of y'all to comment happy birthday to Shelby. No, stop that. It's over and done with. And you know when you get to my stage in life, it's just another day. Y'all comment happy birthday. She's amazing. Keep it moving. Happy birthday. No, keep it moving. So listen, so you opened the door and you made a comment in regards to covenant. What did I say? Covenant. Covenant. And when you said covenant, you said let's not get that twisted with the concept that we have to share it with everyone. It can be between those two and God. Did you say that? The God part is the most important. But, yes, I did say that. Of course, the God part is definitely important. I don't think that a covenant needs to be publicly acknowledged. My God. Okay. So and I have some views about that. Please share, as Nate would say, in my neighborhood. So the Bible gives an account when two or more gather together in my name, there I am in a mist. Also in the book of I think it's Ecclesiastes, you talk about how when I bring the two together, let no man put asunder. That wasn't based just on marriage. You do understand that, right? It wasn't based just on marriage. That was when God put two people together. Like there were two people that were put together. I give examples in the Old Testament. David and Jonathan, those two are inseparable. Ruth and Naomi, those two, like these are people that God put together. And that was a mother-in-law. Don't miss that part. She was an in-law. But the power in their connection, right, the power in their connection was amazing. You look at Paul and Silas. They sat in a Roman prison and had to praise their way up out of there. I got three guys that I can give you. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Come on. So these people I believe that no man put asunder was meant in that capacity not from just a Samson and Delilah or Adam and Eve or Abraham and Sarah type situation, but also covenant means covenant. Covenant is that connection that is not blood or not even just because you like them a lot. There's a covenant in which God shared with us when he said, man, I love you all so much that I'm going to send my only son. My son. My son. For you. And that covenant, man, he didn't have to go get a written document. He didn't? I don't know. They didn't have to have lawyers, nothing? No court? I didn't read it. No church? Oh, I didn't read it. I'm sorry. So, yeah, let's just and these are just opinions. Yes, they are. These are just opinions you all and please feel free to. No, you don't. We can discuss. We're good. Yeah, and that's what we're doing. We're discussing. We're talking about it. So, um, what do you think about the legalities of how we have portrayed marriage to be? Legality. Legalities. I think for sure it's become a real man made hoopla, the actual ceremony and all that stuff, pomp and circumstance and all that. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I mean, I had a hell of a one when I got married and it was great and everything. But I don't think that that's the most important thing at all, and I can tell from experience that after 20 some years, that really didn't matter. The degree of the wedding does not make the degree of the marriage last. Oh, that's a Facebook status. The degree of the wedding does not make the degree of the marriage last. Wow. So you're telling me, and I'm going to start from just that point, you're telling me that if I pay for a $100,000 wedding, I can't stay together forever? $100,000. Man, I'm just saying. Damn. No, that will not guarantee anything. You're telling me I can't be with them forever? Nope. Nope. I had like 25 groomsmen, 25 bridesmaids, six ring, no, not ring bearers. That doesn't even matter. That doesn't even matter. None of that stuff matters. But we were in like these pastel colors. Like it was awesome. None of that matters. Hair was the bomb. Done. It was done. Nails, all of it. Yeah. Look. And we were on the beach. Like we were on white sand. You can do that all you want. Yeah. You and her and God, yeah, do that all you want. Yeah, you don't need everybody else. Jesus. Well, in my opinion, and it is purely my opinion, but yes, I don't think any of that is necessary. That's all for people. That's all for show. Dig into it. Yeah. I'm not saying this because I've been there a couple of times. I'm actually saying this because I've grown up to understand that that's what I thought. I think that's what we are taught. That's what our society pushes us towards. Church pushes us towards. Church did push me, yes. I'll be honest on that one. Yes, you're right about that. I'm on society. Don't be out there fornicating and doing all kinds of stuff. I ain't saying that that's what you should be doing. I'm just saying. Right. I get you. I get you. The ceremony and stuff has gotten a little inflated. Yes. Like, are we really telling the truth about what covenant is compared to the palm and circumstances? Covenant is dying to self for the person that you are committed to. That's what covenant is. Because you're led by God and God wants you to die to self so you become more like Christ. So that's what covenant is. I want that to marinate. I'm not going to say nothing. That's what covenant is, right? Yes. Okay. Where's the cricket button? Good. So all that other stuff, you're telling me it was for the people? Pretty much. It's fun. I had the white suit. You had a white suit? White. Wow. I had 12 groomsmen. Holy crap. Second marriage. I'm sorry. Second marriage. Wow, you did it up the second time, too. See, I'm not sure that I'm not sure. I don't. I really was against getting married again. And I did a study on Ephesians and that changed my heart. But I'm not sold on it. And I'm certainly not sold on going through the whole big old schmazzola again. That part. Because I really don't give a shit. It's only about me and him and God. I don't, the rest of the people. But that's what I want to touch on. Why did we make it so much more about the people than we did about the covenant and what we're sharing between us and God and what we're saying to God? We're making vows. A commitment. We're making a commitment to each other. That we're dying to self for this person. That. And hoping that they die to self too for us. The hope. The hope. But yeah, it was for the people. It was for the people. Come on. Of course it was for the people. It is. And I think it, you know, maturity changes things. Life changes things. Getting with God changes things. Your walk changes all of that. It's all, you know, and, you know, I know a lot of people, there's a lot of importance to the ceremony and all of that. But the ceremony doesn't define the relationship. You know, the ceremony can be fabulous. The relationship can be just. And vice versa. The ceremony can be nothing. And the relationship is fabulous. So it's, you know, and we're a program for the material thing and impressing everybody and, you know, all that stuff. The pretty prettiness of it all. Of course, I mean, we kind of know where it comes from. I believe even if we kind of broke down in scripture, we see where it comes from, because you had to make a public display of something if you were with that person. And then, of course, scripture, especially in laws and the laws it gives, that you have to give it written, you know, thing. Are you talking about the mosaic law, though? To a certain extent, only to a certain extent. Because Jesus came in. He did away. He did away with that. And we can really touch on that. I'm ready for it. But that's not a hall pass, too. Like you don't get to just go willy-nilly and. It's not. And I'll do all whatever with whoever. It was never one to another. It was never meant to be that way. Even if we go back to the garden, the garden was symbolic of covenant. I'm going to do this for you because you're alone. Right. So I'm going to literally put you to sleep and I'm going to create something. And that's the whole purpose. The reason why a woman was designed because he was alone and God recognized he was alone and he was suffering because he was alone. So there was. That was the basis of the whole of the whole thing. I'm going to create something for you. And I'm going to create it from you. So why have we. Can use the word perverted. Why have we perverted that twisted it? Yes. Thank you. Better work. Why have we painted it and twisted it to a point now where we've made it all about everybody else and then we go home with that person that we stood in front of the preacher guy. We said in front of the preacher guy and said, I do. And we really don't. But we did it for them. Okay. Can I just say, if you're at that place, if you're about to walk down the aisle and you're doing, but you really don't, don't. Who gives a rap, but what people watching you think, because you're going to wind up paying the price in the end. And it's not even about you being selfish because it's not. It's about you being wise and listening to. What is speaking inside of you. Yes. And you're going to wind up saving a bunch of people, a bunch of grief, including yourself. Anyways, especially call me. I'll help you. I mean, I remember going down the aisle and my dad said, if you want to bail, let's bail. I mean, if you if you're not sure about this. Let's go. So I want everyone to have that opportunity. That's a good day. I'm going to make sure I tell my daughter that I did I do it. No, girl, 20 some years later. But anyway, but that's that's honest on that. That's really that's real. But, you know, my knowledge and my understanding of the whole thing was not what it is today. Biblically, socially, any of that. It was not what it is today. So those those ideals change. And life changes your ideals. OK, so maybe it's someone that's listening that's that's a hey, I don't want you to put down what I'm about to do. I don't want you to not really to me that it's wrong for me to do. I've already, you know, got my bridesmaids. I've already got my dress. I've already got my this and that. Now, what do you say to that to that young lady? Well, if you're fully committed to it and that's where you want to be, then love every minute of it. Absorb every second of it, because you're never going to get it back. But if you are not fully committed and you have questions and you don't know that this is the right move. Honey, please save yourself the hurt and just take a time, take a moment. Decide if it's really the right thing. And that goes for the men, too. It's not just pointed at the women. Don't sign up for this is a lifelong commitment. I realize nowadays it don't matter. We just, you know. Get out of it as soon as we got into it. And yes, I'm divorced. So y'all can point the finger. It's OK. But don't point no fingers. Come on. No, I mean, it's like preaching to the choir, you know. But I think now I think that that covenant relationship is so beautiful. And I never respected it. Up until the last year or two. Wow. I mean, I could see it in in elderly people and I could be just enamored by it and amazed because I do think it's absolutely awesome for people to stick with it. And plow through it and last. It's such a rarity nowadays. I think the covenant relationship is there is nothing like it. And it is an amazing, incredible thing. Absolutely. You said something that's so good. And I'll piggyback off that. You said covenant relationship. The Bible gives an account where Jesus said, you're going to you're going to go through trials, tribulations, all of the above. You persecuted for my name's sake. For my exactly for my name. It's the same thing when you take on that covenant, like you're going to plow through something. And the devil wants to dissolve your marriage, believe me, or your covenant. It doesn't even have to be a marriage. Come on. You're preaching. But it's that covenant that we have with Christ to either we keep plowing through or we say I quit. Right. I said I quit. I said I quit. But I think he put a long time ago. But anyway, that's the whole thing. You know, the covenant relationship boils down to the very beginning of humanity. It is the basis of God's relationship with the church is the it's the whole thing. And we have made it into just a disposable. Same old thing. It's just like anything else. Yes, we have. And it's not. It's not. It's a blessing. It really is such a blessing if you are actually in that covenant relationship, a true covenant relationship. It's an amazing thing. You can't get anything better than that. Of course not. And that's how God wants it. And that's how he designed it to be the best thing. It was designed that way. It was designed that way. I look back on, you know, even the length of time that we have. Walked as believers. Has it been rough? Hell, yeah. Did I want to throw in the towel? Of course, no. Did I say, man, I quit a couple of times. So no, we still in this. Yeah, I can honestly say for God, I live and forgot. There are times where I struggle with decisions now of following what he's saying or doing what he wants me to do. You're not alone. We get that part. And when it's a significant other or that person, that covenant that God puts in your life, if you bail on the first argument, you out of this. What are you give up so quick? And it was so basically what we're saying, I believe from what I'm hearing from you. The palm and circumstance. Let that be more internal than external. Can I say it that way? Well, that's not the that's not the point of the whole thing. The pomp and circumstance is just the pomp and circumstance. It goes away as soon as it's over with. It's done. Yeah. If I keep that more internal, then I can continue to celebrate. Yeah. Because it's internal. So my celebration with that person is every day instead of it being just that day we celebrate July, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then we make it a annual thing. Amen. I'm not into the annual things either. Like I want to celebrate my covenant every day. But don't you think that came with maturity and that came with life lessons? Yes. To sit here and talk to you about it, man. Absolutely. And so you have to give kudos to the kids that are signing up for it and sticking with it because they are so few and far between nowadays. So if that's all kudos to you, I celebrate you. I hope you know what you got and hold on to it. Keep us because a lot of us tried to hold on to it. And it won't happen. Yes. Yes. And keep God in the middle. But I don't we we put so much emphasis on the ceremony and on the social aspect of it when it is a much simpler but deeper thing. That is just the two. Bless God. Yes. I remember saying I'm sorry. No, I was just going to say you don't need the ceremony. You don't need the witnesses. You don't need the court. You don't. If you got God and he's there with you and you got the other person, that's all you need. Now, if you want things down the line that that person has and you think, oh, well, legally, if they die, I get this. I'm the other. You're first of all, your priorities are wrong. So off right there. Well, OK. Second of all, if you want that stuff, then, yeah, you got to go through the legal side of it. But stuff like that do happen. It really does. Weird, but it does. But anyways, I interrupted what you're going to know. You're good. I remember saying I was counseling this couple. I always do counseling with couples if they ask me to marry them. I know that you have to go through a counseling session, but I require three with me if I marry you. And at the end of each counseling session, I would say to both of them, I want to put it. Make sure. This is something that you're not forced to do, but that you want to do. Because if you're forced in it, whether you're listening to friends, family members, whatever may have you, church people, whatever, societal pressure. Yeah. Yeah. That's been a little together for seven years. It's about time that part. Good. If that's the case, then what happens when that goes away and you're still sitting there in that room like, man, I just screwed up. I don't want this. Make that decision now before you decide to take this step. And really be honest with that other person. Yes, because at the end of the day, when you're sitting in the room by yourself, it's just you two. And you owe it to them. Be honest with them. Yeah, that came with maturity. I didn't know that years ago. That came with maturity. And now even now as we talk about it, covenant to me, when you understand what it is, it's sacred. Yes, absolutely. And that's I was just going to say when you you know, I think for some people entering into the legality of it gives them comfort because this person can't leave. And they're like, oh, that's good. So it's like a crutch. They're kind of stuck with me now, at least legally. And there's going to have to be some kind of end to this relationship. Whereas if you're in a covenant relationship and there's no legality involved. You have to trust that that person feels that that covenant is sacred, which is a big trust right there, because there is no legality to make them stay. There is only their relationship with God and their relationship with you. So it is a sketch thing. It's sketchy. It's faith based. Absolutely. Wow. I didn't even see if that's really good. Because you're trusting that person and you're trusting God. One hundred percent. Yes. This has nothing to do with a legal binding agreement. Oh, that's good. And at the same time, you're saying that you don't want anything from that person except for that person. Because you're not going to have any legal rights to what they have if something happens to them, and they're not going to have any legal rights to what you have if something happens to them. Now, maybe I'm stating the law wrong. I don't know. It depends on the state you're in. But I'm just talking the base of it. It's all about that person. It is not about what they have materially that's going to benefit you if you're in a covenant relationship, and it is not made legal by the court or whatever you want to call it or the church or whatever. So let me see if I can pull out a scripture with that. So you're basically saying that there was no paper signed by Adam or Eve and that… The fig leaf? Yeah, right. And also, like they had to just – I don't even – I didn't even see where he called her wife or she called him husband. Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. When you just said about two minutes ago, like, in a natural realm it would be sketchy because you're just trusting God. Like you ain't got nothing on paper. Nope. Boy, that's hard to tell people nowadays, Sheb. You do understand that, right? It's hard to live nowadays, not just tell people, but live it out yourself. I mean, can you – I'm not there, but can you, like… They imagining it. Nothing? Like you can just walk away and end it. But that's covenant. Same thing with our Savior. He could have walked away. Oh, gosh, yes. He could have said, peace out, brussel sprouts. One of y'all can stand in for me now because I'm technically the king of kings and I don't have to put up with this bull. I'm out. Good. I'm not doing this. I know what's coming and I don't want to ignore it. And some of y'all are going to backstab me, too? Oh, yes. And I'm still going to call you friend. My friend. Okay. Boy, that's so good. That's so good. The whole thing of the covenant relationship is it symbolizes God's relationship with the Church, Christ's relationship with the Church. That's what we're supposed to emulate in our marriage. Covenant or not. We shouldn't have to break out a piece of paper and say, hey, you mine. No, but and going back to the dying to self, which is what Christ did on the cross, he died to himself and lived for all of us. And that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to live for that other person and die to yourself. Your needs, your wants, whatever, don't matter. But if you're truly in a covenant relationship, that person's going to care about your needs and your wants. Oh, that's good. And that's a fine line. Well, you touching some stuff. That's a fine line because when you do, especially for a man, you're saying, okay, I got to die. I know I want a motorcycle. I know I want to die to self because that she she is more important. But here's here's the it should be the icing on the cake. She would know what she would want to provide it. Absolutely. There's a scripture that says I think it's in Psalms 18, verse 24. A man that finds a wife finds a good thing, pains favor, favor. So she becomes a favorite. I'm a favor is attached to her, though. Oh, my God, that favor is attached to her. You don't get the favor until you are covenant with her. I hate to say it, but that's what the word says. Exactly what it says. Show me something different. That's exactly what it says. Yeah, it's attached to her. It's not your favor until you are attached to her. Then you get it. I get a couple of theologians that want to argue that. But let's go. I'm a pair for it. I'm ready. I'm ready for that one. I've had conversations about that with some different people and they may want to disagree with that. But OK, I'm ready for it. We can disagree and discuss. It's OK. Absolutely. We're not against that at all. Absolutely. Covenant. A covenant relationship, a covenant connection, a covenant connection to me is better than me putting on a performance for people. Took me a lot of years to realize that. But I know it now. I also think that marriage, covenant, however you want to define it, has to be protected. And we don't do that anymore. I work in the security field and I've realized more than anything, no, we don't protect a lot of stuff. And one of the things, I am a little harsh on men, but one of the things that I know for sure that women, it's a necessity. Security. They need security. Absolutely. Period. Yep. That's a necessity. As soon as a woman does not feel safe with you, whether it's in the bedroom or anywhere else, she is done. Then you ain't getting no favor. Done. No favor. Your favor is shut down. It's out. Right. No more favor. It's over. You later. Alligator. But it's the truth. Yes. As soon as a woman does not feel safe with you, you're done. You're toast. And you wonder, I wonder why, man, why she won't do this or why can't you know, blah, blah. Not protecting her, man. And protection doesn't just mean protecting her from the world. It means protecting her from your. I don't want to say it. Selfishness. It's a number of things that you can put right there. I know you can. So sometimes what she just said was your your need to. Suppress your need to. Exalt yourself, your need to. You're an entitlement. I'm here. It's a lot of things you said. Stop getting natural weapons to protect her. Oh. It's about protecting her heart, her body, her mind, all of the above. And I do believe because we've talked about this before, because the woman was created from the rib, the rib protects the heart. It is our job as women to protect the heart of the man. So we have a job for protection, too. But it is not the same as what the man's job is. And the man is to lead. And we are to respect and because we respect, we submit. But it is out of respect and it is not that you are any less. And he would never treat you as you are any less. Because if he does, that's not the right thing. And he's going at it from the wrong angle. Jesus never did that with the church. Of course not. That's so good. Oh, oh, that's so good. Yeah. You said I'm powerful and I'm so glad you brought that back out. The rib. The whole purpose of a rib. Is to protect that most sacred thing. Do you know that? You're when your heart stops. You die, but you can live without a brain. Why are you preaching? Oh, my God, it's so good. It's so good. I mean, we can dig all into this, ladies and gentlemen, and I know you understand. Covenant is real. Covenant is real. And I think it should be more important. Oh, yeah, I was just going to say we have to place more value on it. Yes. Like a whole lot more. We used to. Are we that bamboozled that we we misrepresent covenant for lust? Yes. Really? Yes. I think I can understand. Maybe not covenant. Maybe not true covenant, but marriage. Yes. OK, got it. Got it. Got it. Because you just said that yourself. True. We're in that space and a lot of us in our 20s. And, yeah. Yes, indeed. And I think also, if you're a believer and you're raised in a church, you know, you ain't supposed to be doing those things unless you're married to that person. So we kind of force you into that. I mean, I was because we don't we don't want to condone the thing that's going on, even though you're forgiven. And I'm not saying go willy nilly doing whatever with whoever could. You ain't supposed to do that. Right. But. Yeah, church people tend to push you into that if you're going to be doing that, you need to get married. And I'm not saying that they're wrong. I'm just saying that I think there's been damage done. Well, I'm going to say that it was wrong because it happened to me. I was told by the church because I start preaching at such a young age that I had to. There was no communication, no love, no love. I don't know what it was, but I knew I had to do it because I. It was a requirement. That's what it was. It was a requirement. Yes. And all that stuff didn't even matter. You know, you look at a job application, got to have some requirements for you to even get the job. So for me to preach, that's crazy. That is crazy. But that's what I was told. And I guess, you know, and this is not to bash people. I'm not bashing the people that said it to me or had to do that. My thing was I just wanted to give God what was inside of me. That's it. So I would have did whatever you told me to do as long as I can give it to God. And we put all kinds of man-made rules on that. Yep. Yep. And with no knowledge or with no maturity, no, you know, just going through stuff, then I learned the hard way. A lot of people, when you're single, you are right with God. You are right there and y'all are so intertwined. And it's when you have a significant other that things start to get there's a distance there because you're focusing on that person instead of on your relationship with God. Now, is that right? No. But I'm just saying that's what happens in humanity. That's what we do. You're right. You're right. It becomes more about them and your suffering. Yeah, you're right. I think it's important to talk about it. Of course, you know, and we use the word all the time. It's taboo. People never want to bring it up because it's hush-hush. People never want to talk about this in its entirety. Stop jumping into something that you're going to regret in two years. I'll go on record to say it. Yeah, but don't you – like I said, it's so – everybody's so disposable and marriages are, you know. So what if you do it and you get divorced? I think that's the attitude nowadays. So what? What difference does it make? Everybody's been divorced. Everybody's a duh. We got to change that. And I am divorced, but I'm not proud of it. But it's a fact and it happened. But I fought. I fought for at least 10 years. But when you are fighting and fighting and fighting and there ain't nothing – I mean it's like insanity. You're expecting a different result that, no, it doesn't happen. And then when God tells you, okay, you're going to know the day and it's not going to be a big hoopla. You're just going to know. And that sure as heck happened. And you knew. Yeah. Man, to be honest, I always fought for the divorce by people. There's transparency. That was one of the reasons why I pulled away from a lot of stuff and a lot of people because I knew that I was going to have to. And I passed it at church. Right. So going through that, I mean, you know how people look. You had totally different pressure than a lot of normal, regular people would understand. The way people view you is like you are the scum of the earth. And you doing what again? Well, and I know religiously we watch a lot of marriages fail in the preacher, pastor, minister space. But those relationships have so much pressure on them that no one really understands unless they're in those relationships on top of the enemy trying to destroy it from the get-go. And any time you preach about the enemy and you try to out him, he's going to attack that relationship first. So I really respect ministers, pastors, preachers who. Stay married and stay committed and and and don't fall because it's a very, very, very difficult road to walk. And we'll we'll we'll have a podcast when one day about that and I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I No, no bite, no bite at all. Thank you. In that, um, if I can say to a generation of people that may have already or you are getting ready to make a decision and you're basing it upon people and not looking at outside pressure outside pressure outside of the relationship. Yes. And there's people, but there's pressure on what you call social media, right? Oh, yeah. What do you call it? Social pressure? Yeah. Okay. Social pressure. People pressure. Peer pressure. Peer pressure. What kind of pressure? And even monetary financial pressure. If you, you know, it's going to ease up both of our lives if we join forces. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. You're right. Wow. So if you get ready to make a decision and you base it upon that pressure, that can turn around and bite you. Because if you're doing it out of pressure, yeah, it's going to be really difficult. Not saying you can't make it right. We're going to say that, but it's going to it's probably going to be real hard. And when you want it to be about covenant, though, I sure would. But yes, yeah, you would hope so. You would want it to be about covenant. I got I want to look at that person after two years and still say I want you. I want to look at that person after 10, 15 years and still desire you. There was a point in my. Uh oh. I can say all that. But yes, I still want to and not regret. Can I say that and not regret after a certain period of time? I don't want to regret this. If I say yes. Or in other words, I do. I will whatever it is. I don't want to regret because what what God has put together. But even the I do it doesn't you know, you don't have to do the I do have a covenant relationship. That's what we're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. It's just a commitment between the two of you. However, you want to design it, however, you want to word it, whatever you want to do. God's got to be in it because if he ain't, you don't have that in your corner. Yeah, but I don't know. It's I think that and y'all youngins have to understand bodies change. And I'm not just saying women's bodies change bodies change period. I don't matter if you're a man woman, whatever babies come along. There is so much pressure on you when when you've got children, the whole dynamic changes and it's it's not about you anymore. It's not about him anymore. It's not it's it's it's very different. There's a whole lot that goes on. So if you're signing up because she's got a nice but that part or more. He's got these arms or whatever. Come on, ladies. Come on. And that's not the right reason. Because the arms going to change and that but definitely. You hope it doesn't. And you fight against it. But let me tell you. Yes, yes. Not everybody can afford plastic surgery. I just saw a tick tock man where this guy was like, yeah, I'm going to continue to get these surgeries until I die. I didn't even know men got BBL. Yeah, that's that's shocking. But he was like, I'm going to be here and I'm getting my abs done. I know the thing, you know, I don't know why tick tock comes up so much, but I was watching tick tock this morning and it was a guy talking to women and he was saying, we don't care about the stretch marks. We don't care about the whatever. Just be you and just be confident in who you are. We don't care about the extra pounds, all that stuff. And he pointed out that I've never thought about this. And I don't know why, because living from a woman's perspective, you would think I'd pick up on it. But he actually he said, I just went and bought boxers today and he showed it. He held up the package. And, you know, the guy on the front of the boxers is built. Yeah, of course. And he's like, y'all think that this doesn't apply to men like we look at that picture and go, well, I ain't gonna look like that on me ever. I never considered that. I was today years old when I went, dang. So true. Never thought about that because so much emphasis is placed on women. And I think we've talked about this already. It's harder on women. I think it's much harder. We do see that stuff. We see the guy here or the guy that's, you know, working on whatever may have you. And it's just a Budweiser commercial, whatever may have you. But why is it so much harder on women? I don't know why I said that. But whatever. Wrong label. Why is it so much harder on women to be that? And then. I think I kind of just got the answer. It's more of a visual. It's more of a visual. But yet women are the ones that have to have the babies whose bodies go through so much metamorphosis and all this stuff and don't necessarily snap back to what they were before, because they're not really designed to do that. You have now turned your body into a baby making factory, which you created a human. And what we put so much more emphasis on the women's bodies. But I don't want to draw away from the fact that I'm talking about men. I never thought about that. Like, like they they have guys on the front of those things, too, that are built. Well, but the dad bods are a thing now. They have been for a while. Of course. Yeah. Of dads. I say that with confidence. I'm all for dad bods. I don't got no problem with dad bods. I say that with confidence. Come on, dads. Yeah. However, when I'm in covenant with a person. That doesn't matter. I'm like that guy that you saw. Man, you think I'm looking at stretch marks? Right. You think I'm looking at, you know, because the baby, you know, put a little hip here and a little roll here. I ain't going to be able to let you steal everything to me. Covenant. Yeah. Right. I heard it. I don't know who exactly. I don't even know if this is true. I really don't want to say it. But the pressure came from a guy telling his girl to go get some type of surgery done because he wanted her to have bigger whatever. And she died on the table. And so the friends was like basically looking at the guy saying, you know, you basically pushed her to her death because he wanted her to have bigger thingies. So just to go. Yeah. Yeah. So. I don't I don't know. I don't know. It's a lot of strain when it comes to women. When when she's your covenant over for who she is. Not just over. I think it goes both ways. But, yeah, there is more emphasis on women's bodies for sure. And I can say that I am all total insecure about all that stuff. But. I mean. I got to own it at this point. It is what it is. As you said, I mean, our bodies go through these things in age. Let's bring it to thank you. Genesis, let's bring it in a in a scriptural book of Genesis. I think it was 16. Sarah got Tyce. So, Sarah, at the time, got tired and said, hey, hey, girls over there. Yeah. Sign her up. Sign her up. Yeah. Because I'm 85. Yeah. And I'm done with this. I can't get nowhere with it. And yeah, she got impatient. And Hagar was right. I can do it. So I think that we do have to take in consideration that we are going to go through changes, man. Just love them all the way through male or female. You're going to be with it, be with it and understand that it's going to change. And the other lesson from that thing, our thing is your plan when you've heard from the Lord and you try and make it happen your way. I was trying not to go there, but I invite you in the book. Stop adjusting God's plan because it doesn't fit yours. And his timing is not yours. That's good. That's good stuff right there. That's good stuff. Even in, you know, in what we're speaking about, it's just adjusting God's plan and thinking that your covenant and his covenant is the same. Your will and his will. Thank you, Jeremiah. My thoughts are not. Yep. I think I think we covered quite a bit with that. But the gist of it is covenant is very important. And you don't need society's approval. No, you just need God. And that other person has to. I mean, you can't the unequally yoked thing, not just about believer versus nonbeliever. There's different levels. But if you're laying on the same page. And not walking with God together, separate, but together independently, if you're not walking with God and trying to come together, it's going to be a challenge. How can one not walk with God and one can? I mean, that's that's kind of impossible to become one. So we have to at least acknowledge God being the first. And. Please, the ethics, the threefold court cannot be another person and God. So we have to have that to be the center of it. And that's what covenant is not about ceremonies. Preachers standing up there, the ring, beautiful rings, some time, some rings out there. Beautiful. And the dresses. Oh, my God. Oh, the veil and what they call that connected to the dress on the train. You had a bunch of men out there and a bunch of women out there and our second wedding was candlelit. I want to tell you about a candle. I had a woman walking around playing. Wow. You better admit it. But yeah. And understand that if it's not covenant. That's what people. Yeah. It's hard, though. It's hard. I mean, I lived it. So I know it's hard. I think you're doing the right thing. You're thinking you're making the right decision. Being led. Being faithful, all that stuff. And no, not necessarily. All righty. Well, well, thank you for letting us hear that. This is always word of mouth podcast with Nate and Shelby. Yes, sir. Yes, ma'am. We'll be back soon.