Bully For You

Bullying is a global issue that can occur at work, school, or home. It can have long-lasting effects if not addressed. The speaker shares their personal experience of being bullied in middle school and the impact it had on their life. They discuss different types of bullying, including physical, social, cyber, property, and verbal. Statistics show that a significant number of students have experienced bullying. Resources such as a crisis text line and articles on dealing with bullying are provided. Teaching empathy and open communication are suggested as ways to address bullying. Bullying for you. Hi and welcome to my podcast SUCKED which stands for Seek Understanding and Peace. I am your host KDgirl5 and I am happy you are here with me on this day today Did you know that in the 15-1600s the phrase bully for you Meant to praise someone sincerely an excellent person good for you How great then the expression bully for you was used Sarcastically and now when you hear the word bully it usually means Someone who hurts those weaker than oneself Today I will discuss all things bullying If bullying is not nipped at a young age it can go into adulthood and we do not want that a Person can be bullied at work, school, or at home But you no longer have to suffer. You can take your power back and you can regain your peace today I will share my personal story, facts, and resources to get help if you are bullied or know someone who is And I will share what other countries are doing. Yes, it is a global issue This is my story I was leaving behind my old teachers and most school friends except one My best friend since the fifth grade my bestie as they say and headed to middle school to the seventh grade What more incredible feeling could there be for a 13 year old girl? I had entered the world of middle school with my new clothes teachers, students, Classrooms, and a new attitude Until then I was on top of the world. I remember the first day of middle school vividly I remember being so nervous and eager and talking loud All of us were waiting to enter the school on our first day. I was feeling proud of my new hairstyle brand-new clothes I recall some older girls looking at me at the time and not in a friendly way. I felt myself shrinking at that moment That was probably one of the worst things I could have done Because I knew they would see me as weak in that moment and I was right Because that is how they treated me until they left the school two years later My seventh and eighth grade years were some of the worst school years of my life These two girls teased me relentlessly in the hallway Lunchroom, at my locker, in the bathroom, before and after school They made it their mission to make my school life miserable They would make fun of my name Hair and clothes. They would curse and snicker when I walked by. They would zoom in on me And I would try and disappear. It was as if I had a target on my back just for them So I kept quiet. I knew I had two more school years of torment with them However, that did not keep me from wishing that something terrible would happen to them before the two years were up and that I would Never have to see them again Bullying is usually done when adults are not around When I was being bullied there were never any authority around and if they were they were tending to other students nearby. I thought that if I told someone they would make my life more miserable, so I kept quiet I never told anyone not even my best friend. I was embarrassed. How could I let this happen to me? So I kept silent. Since then I have learned that it was false thinking. Here I was the victim and blaming myself for the cruel actions of another and then one day they were gone They had transitioned into the 10th grade and I was happy. For the first time since leaving elementary school I experienced peace and safety when I walked the halls Went to lunch and went to my locker before and after school. I decided I would never allow anyone to take my power like that I made a pact with myself not even realizing what I was doing at such a young age Back then there were no anti-bullying campaigns. If you were to ask me what the two girls were doing I would have said they were harassing me Harassment is defined as aggressive and intimidation Bullying is defined as seeking to harm or intimidate Stopbullying.gov is a great website with fantastic information on the different angles of being bullied They describe bullying as unwanted aggressive behavior Observe or perceive power imbalance. They also said that bullying affects the bullies Those who are bullying others and the witness of the bullying We all play a part in the bullying usually people who are observing the bullying are either scared to intervene or They somehow feel that victim deserves it. So that is not our place to decide that We must be willing to intervene. And lastly Stopbullying.gov said and those who have bullied sometimes become bullies themselves Today our children have to deal with so much Scienceandliteracy.org wrote an article titled Discovering and becoming aware of the five types of bullying in schools The first one is physical where they're hitting punching Kicking and shoving which they have no right to do The second type of bullying is called social Where they are trying to seek to ruin your reputation through gossip Especially behind your back lying or excluding Number three is cyber bullying. This is done through technical devices on the computer Cellphone or some other device The fourth type of bullying is property where they are breaking or stealing Your cell phone your computer your laptop books Anything that's your property and they try and take or take and steal is bullying And the fifth type of bullying is verbal That's where the names, the insults, racist, homophobic remarks this is where my type of bullying came in when I was being bullied and You would think that oh, they're calling you names Sticks and thorns, break your bones, words will never hurt, but words hurt I will be doing a segment on how words can either build you up or tear you down So let's look at some statistics Around 20% of students between 12 and 18 years old say they have experienced bullying nationwide C&N Health wrote an article that said worldwide About half of the 13 to 15 year old students, which is a hundred and fifty million Students have said they experienced violence Such as physical fights or some form of bullying from their peers in and around the school When this happens the bully can become depressed lonely scared or even suicidal There is a 24-hour crisis bullying text line that provides support to those who are being bullied. Do is you text HOME in all caps H-O-M-E to T-O 7 4 1 7 4 1 So you text HOME to 7 4 1 7 4 1 and this is their crisis Text line that can help you deal with the bullying or give you some ideas or suggestions Sometimes you just need someone to talk to so that you can get through your hurt and get through the pain Apollo Favre who is a social visionary Did a TEDx talk entitled how can we reduce bullying Gun violence and shootings and one of the things he brought out was teaching empathy in the classrooms Which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others You know, I took several humanity classes in college and fell in love with the different cultures the different people People that I thought I had nothing in common with I realized I did Empathy teaches us to look outside of ourselves and appreciate human kind appreciate their sameness and appreciate their differences and I really do feel that this needs to be required at school and in the workplaces There's another article entitled empowering parents.com And it's titled what to do if your child is bullied Helps kids deal with bullying and one of the questions it says is how can you tell if your child is being bullied? I Identified with this response and the response was there's a good chance your kid won't walk up and say I'm getting teased and bullied at school kids are calling me names Instead it will manifest itself by your child saying I don't want to go to school today If this seems to be happening a lot consider the possibility that bullying might be the reason behind the sick days Then also look to find the kids are hurting themselves For boys one classic symptom is that they are teased so much about being gay or just different that they're terrified to go to the bathroom If your kid races home and goes to the bathroom every day at the school it could mean that they're being bullied These are all possible signals that your child might be the target of teasing at school Another question was if my child comes to me and tells me he is being bullied. What is the best thing to do? Respond I would say let your child talk about it listen in a non-judgmental way about your child and the teaser Let your kid do the talking don't try to solve the problem ask your child what happened How did that make you feel? Don't assume your kid has something Get something to encourage the teasing Teasing isn't always logical and for your kids. It doesn't matter why it just matters that it's happening Therefore don't say what did you do that made them tease you that's not going to help Another article entitled bullying at school this article actually from the UK United Kingdom and it's entitled family lies bullying at school And they're suggesting that knowing what steps to take can be challenging when a child confides in you That they are feeling targeted by a teacher and I picked up this article because it specifically said If you feel or if your child feels they are being bullied or targeted By a teacher One of the things they said is let your child know that you are going to address this and ask them specific examples that you can use if your child's being criticized for not completing work then Give them a call here. It says Call them or write them a note, but I know nowadays they use text messaging They have a system where you can inquire on how your child is doing You know, whatever it is in your part of the country, and you know, I would take advantage of that But here you can talk to the teacher ask if there's any homework missing has there been any issues or Problems in that area and that'll kind of open up that conversation. I wouldn't be so confrontational even though that is the first thing you want to do especially when your child comes home and They are in distress and they're not happy, but you want to be able to Have an open and clear dialogue with the teacher and sometimes if you come in and you're upset Then it gets the teacher upset and then some things may be said that won't even help the situation The other thing is be open to hearing what the school has to say as there may be a behavioral issue in the classroom That you may not be aware of so getting all the facts from both the child and the school is very important After speaking to the teacher if it needs to go a step further You can speak to the guidance counselor the principal, the Board of Education When the bullying is not stopped as a child They can become adult bullies Here's how to protect yourself against adult bullies What constitutes an adult bully? They regularly make you feel oppressed belittled humiliated or de-energized The cruel actions that often lead to those feelings include personal insults jokes threats public shaming invasion of your personal space or unwanted personal content How to deal with adult bullies. This is an article that's written in the verywellminded.com A tangible material bully is a type of bully that likes to use their power such as your boss or Manager or they may have some authority over your finances Which they can use to intimidate you and others. There are adult verbal bully Verbal bully likes to shame and insult you with their words Often they'll throw constant criticisms, cruel teasing sexist, racist, homophobic or threatening jokes and words There's the passive-aggressive bully. You may not consider someone who is passive-aggressive to be a bully But this type of bullying is the most cunning in some ways. Things like gossip Sarcasm, hurtful jokes or a few ways the bully behaves. They may roll their eyes make rude facial expressions and ridicule their victims by mimicking them. They may also isolate their targets causing you to feel anxious and insecure There's cyber bully. This is mostly for the younger generation but regardless of the victim Harassing emails and text messages and social media is still considered bullying Whether you are a student, a child or an adult. And then lastly there's the physical bully This is when an adult is a bully. Physical bully can range from Stimulating violence by raising their fists as if they're about to strike Throwing and breaking objects to violent acts of physical, domestic and sexual abuse Now when I hear physical bullying, I think unfortunately, I think some people's home life You know, you actually may be living with a bully So, what do you do if you're a victim? This article says that you can pick and choose your battle on how you will respond and react depending on the level of severity So if it is an annoying relative that you see maybe once or twice a year Or a co-worker that works on the other side of the building, those are kind of easy You can just avoid them. You can either have your desk move or just say no, I don't think I'm going to go on this particular Thanksgiving dinner, you know, you just you can control that. Another thing they tell you to do is always always make eye contact Bullies have less empathy when they can't see your eyes or when they can't see your face. So always make eye contact Another thing is to document the offenses. Do not write it off as oh, they'll never do it again or you know It was just a little thing this time. No, it's just document it and then just put it to the side. Just document it Just have a paper trail Whenever you are being bullied or feeling insecure or scared because this person is causing you to feel this way Just document the offenses There's a YouTube entitled how to Respond to an adult bully. Some of the things they say is you need to talk about it because if you keep quiet This encourages the bullying Another suggestion they give is keep calm Because if you're all over the place Then you're not going to make a good judgment. But if you keep calm, you can make better judgments, you can talk Or you can choose to just simply walk away Know your human rights. You have the right to protect and keep yourself safe And then it says utilize your assertive communication skill. I looked that up Specifically, what does that mean? This is what it means. It means use I statements. I Don't like it when you I feel like this when you do this to me Number two stick to the facts. A lot of times when there's a disagreement or when a conflict arises It may start off with I didn't like how you took the material off my desk And then you may end up and then remember that one time when you took some toilet paper You know one has nothing to do with the other so you have to stay focused That's something I kind of had to learn just in my everyday discussions But you have to stay focused on what the fact is. The fact is they keep taking Materials or supplies off your desk and that's what you need to center in on and stay with Third thing is be aware of your body language. You know, you slump your shoulders, have your head down a lot of times Unfortunately, some people would take that as a sign of weakness and use that against you Learn to say no. If it's a no, just just say no Don't say well, I don't know. I don't I'm not quite sure just say no and you can say it in a very nice way And they'll understand and maintain calmness. And the last three things, sometimes we respond to a Adult bully. This is on the YouTube channel. It's a set consequences If they do it more than once or more than twice whatever you have in your mind then Follow through with whatever you say you're going to do. Keep a paper trail of the incident And then sometimes you may even need to have like a third party or a third witness Somebody who kind of knows what's happening and on a personal note if this helps See the adult bully as a kid with a temper tantrum and stop giving in to them You wouldn't give in to a child with a temper tantrum View the same thing as an adult that's being a bully. I want to address the bully If you are listening to this and you have heard or seen yourself in some of the things that I have shared Please consider seeking emotional support or therapy. In many cases With bullies you may have had a traumatic childhood and regularly endured domestic violence physical abuse or some other form of abuse. And finally, in 2012 the United Nations Declared the official day to be May 4th for anti-bullying. This is recognized in many countries worldwide including Australia, France, Lebanon, the United Kingdom, and the United States. Some ways to observe bullying You can wear odd socks. This symbolizes our differences. It is a subtle way to say that people should be themselves and that we should accept one another for our differences. I wear different earrings and not just on May 4th I always get asked why and I always say this is how I was feeling when I woke up this morning. Unique, different, and special. Another way you can recognize Anti-bullying day is you can pledge their support by signing up in any anti-bullying website and pledge your support or you can volunteer your services. Another way is you can reach out on social media. This is a great platform to stand against cyber bullying by reporting malicious and offensive content. And I want to leave you with these facts. Bullying affects education. 160,000 teenagers have skipped school because of bullying. Stepping in does make a difference. 57% of bullying situations stop when peers intervene on behalf of the bullied student. Older students are less likely to report bullying incidents, which is why it is important for others to intervene. And if you are being bullied, I pray your strength and the courage to get help. God is a safe place to hide ready to help when we need him. This is in Psalm 46. If you have any comments or tips, please comment below. I welcome your input. I hope you're not being bullied, but if you are, I pray for your strength. And as always, thank you for being here with me on this day, today. Grace meets.