@WALELUX PODCAST 01

The transcription is a conversation between two people discussing various topics such as living in London, studying in Scotland, and their respective backgrounds in Iraq and Sudan. They talk about the reasons why London is a great city to visit, including its food, nightlife, friendly people, and transportation. The conversation also touches on the water quality in London and the speaker's experiences during the American invasion of Iraq. I'm not well I don't know what your problem is. Right, I think okay it's working now thank God. Right, I'm not bad at it, I've also stopped taking my mic shot. No, no, you can put it in the middle and it will work, that's it. Right, I think for how long have we got there? We've been battling this for a few hours now. A few hours, it's 3 o'clock so you can imagine, 9 o'clock. There are obstacles that will be on the way. I see. This is one of those obstacles that is interesting to work on. I think it was a sign not to go ahead with it or maybe go ahead with it. But we're here and now we're using the natural light as well. Which is beautiful, yeah. Right, so first of all thank you for joining me, thank you for receiving or should I say accepting my invite. Even though we had multiple phone conversations on the phone and we talked a lot about general topics. Politics, life in general, marriage, relationship. The best topic. The best topic. Most topics that people want to hear from all different perspectives. And hearing it from someone that happens to be an Arab person and someone that happens to be an African person. There you go. Two different perspectives. Two different cultures, different backgrounds. Right, so welcome again to my lovely abode. Could you tell the viewers who you are? And should I say what you do? I might not go into details about what I do. Perhaps just tell us who you are. I'm Sharla. Where are you from Sharla? I'm from Middle East, I'm Iraqi. Living in London. How long have you lived in London? The best city in the world, I must say. Debateable, some would say, but I agree. Not really, I've travelled quite a lot. I've travelled almost everywhere in Europe and almost everywhere in the Middle East. And coming back to London every time is just a different feeling. Have you had the feeling that, oh sorry, the saying that says, if you're tired of London, you're tired of life. Have you ever heard that before? I've heard it. And if you haven't, would you believe it's true? Or do you think there's a bit of an iffy to it? I think if I say that, then I would say yes, it's true. Because I don't think I'll ever get tired of London. Doesn't matter where I go, coming back to London is a different feeling. How many cities have you been in the last, say, five, six years? How many cities I've travelled to? Of course, I was going to put a city. City in different countries? Yes, city in different countries. Probably over 25 cities. And you strongly believe London stands out? Oh yeah, 100%. Especially Europe, if you want to compare it to surrounding countries. Yeah, definitely the best city. For someone that's never been to London, give them five reasons why they should leave London or visit London. Okay, one of the reasons, beautiful food. Amazing multicultural difference. Fantastic, that's true. And you can get sort of high-end food places and, you know, affordable food places. And both of them amazing. Beautiful night outs you can have. Amazing night outs with different backgrounds, different cultures. I do strongly believe, third reason, people are extremely friendly. Very friendly people. But obviously, at the same time, it depends where you go. Whereabouts in London you go to. But touristic areas, yeah. Friendly people, I would say, compared to the rest of Europe. Amazing, amazing transport links. I would agree with that. Going to other countries, you'll have to spend a lot on Uber or get a higher car. But in London, you don't have to worry about any of these things. You have underground that, you know, opens till midnight and opens 5 in the morning and takes you everywhere within half an hour. It's fantastic. Fifth reason, it's just London. It is London. That's it. I guess most people will agree because I think I've heard the same thing as well. That regardless of wherever they travel to, that own feeling when you go away, even though you booked your holiday for 2, 3 weeks, you still have that own seeking, wanting to come back to London. But then we have the people that travel or other people that complain about London, and then they step out of London and they say, I want to come back home. It gives you that, you know, that 50-60 kind of feeling. I used to live in, for university, I studied in Scotland. Which now when I think back, I feel like, oh my God, I wasted so much time somewhere that felt like a countryside. After coming to London, living in London, it feels like I wasted all my youth. Even though I'm still young. But I feel like I've wasted all my 20s living in a place where it was, don't get me wrong, Scotch people, amazing. Scotland, right? I'm talking about this city that's far, yeah, Scotland, Glasgow. Glasgow. Far from other countries. If you wanted to come down to London weekends, it would be too much travelling. Train is like five hours. Plane is like an hour, but it will take about three hours going to airports, you know, landing. It's just a nightmare. So when I think back, I feel like, oh my God, I wasted so much time. London has amazing opportunities. Maybe if I studied in university in London, I would have, you know, done all the things alongside studying. Made extra money in different ways. But, you know, but still, Scotland is amazing. Maybe that's why I appreciate London more. Yeah, that's maybe one of the reasons. You were in Scotland. What year to what year was this? And what were you doing in Scotland? I was studying in Scotland. I'm not going to say what I was studying, but yeah, I studied. For the benefit of the viewers, you don't want to? No? Okay, so I'm an eye specialist. Okay. So I fix people's eyes. But, yeah, so I spent about six, seven years in Scotland. Okay. Okay. It was great, but it does get lonely because it's so far from everything. Yeah. And it's quite cold as well. Yeah, so it was nice, nice people. Not compared to London, but weather-wise? Weather-wise, it was extremely cold. Okay. That far, I wasn't aware of. Yeah, because, you know, the more up north you go, the colder it gets. Yeah. True. Yeah, exactly. I've been to Cumbria, which is not too far from... No, it's not too far, yeah. Far from Scotland. Yeah. I understand that the weather there is quite a bit chilly, but good weather. It's fresh. Fresh, yeah, compared to London. Especially if you've lived in London for a while, you can tell the difference. Yes. Friendly people. Friendly. Scottish people, good banter. Yeah. I must say, though, one of the best things they have is the water. Which you mentioned today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I poured you water, you said it tasted like Scottish water. Honestly, when you drink, if people... See, not a lot of people might know the difference in water tasting, but... Drinking Scotch water and then coming to London... I wonder if that has anything to do with... Hey, listen, don't hold me to this and don't keep me like this. I wonder if it has anything to do with that. It's the same water that we drink in London. Exactly. And the water that we drink comes from all the old sewage and then goes all the way to... I'm not sure if it's daffodil or... Daffodil. Daffodil, I think, where it gets treated. And perhaps it's not treated as well as it should. And that's the same water that we then drink back again. But, hey... Is it true? But, hey, don't... Again, people say stuff. But I haven't done research on it. But then again, when we do ask, you kind of want to ask to do the water that we... You want to drink tap water. To be honest, tasting the tap water makes sense. It could be that. It would probably make sense. Yeah. But I have heard the theory that sometimes the water may not be as well treated as the water that you drink outside the city. No, honestly, I lived in Manchester before university. And even the water there is more... Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Wait. If you don't mind me chiming in. So you went to university in Glasgow? Yeah, school in Manchester. School in Manchester and university. School, yeah. And then went to university in Glasgow and then, obviously, living... I'm pretty sure you kind of know your age now. Well, the thing is... If you're 22. Yeah. If they're smart enough, they will know. What is the thing with people not wanting to tell their age? It's not that I don't... If you ask any man what their age is, they are so proud to talk about it. No, no, no. It has no effect at all. It's not that I have an issue to say my age. I don't. It's fine. I can say it. But let the viewers guess that. Let the viewers guess that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Let things to be, you know... You don't want to say everything. Right. So you are single? Are you married? Single? You've got kids? Is that something you want to share or not? You want to personally ask me? I have actually asked you. And you said you will give me your mother's number, tell me to call. Oh, dear. That's not true, by the way. I'm with you. We're going to cut this bit. I'm with you. My mum's going to, like, literally forbid me from going to Middle East. So we had a conversation, obviously, multiple times. One of which, when we played tennis, we talked about all these different topics. Yeah. One of which is obviously the event of the... Some would say the heroes. Some would say the dictator. Some would say all sorts. The Americans would say it's an enemy. And I'm talking about Iraq. Okay, yeah, yeah. And you're talking about Sudan. Okay. So I guess, for the benefit of people that do not know the back-end stories, you being a citizen... Yeah, yeah. I would say, where were you as of the time the American invasion? Where were you? I believe I was very... I was probably infant. I was a child. But no, I'm 13. This is about your age. I think it was 13. Maybe I wasn't even born. Yeah. No, but in general, it's my country, you know. What was the reaction to it? Was it a mixture of both? I think I wouldn't speak for myself because I didn't know any much at that time. But I think people, you know, you get mixed views everywhere, don't you? So I think it was good and bad. Good and bad. But I think it's time when people obviously preferred him to stay rather than him to go. So, you know, you get different views when things happen in the moment and then after that. Just like when you argue with someone. In the heat of the moment, you say things that you regret saying later and you want to take back what you said. It was just literally just like that. So people probably were happy that he went down, but then afterwards, slowly, slowly, when the country collapsed even more, they obviously regretted that they would rather have him. And I think we also talked the other day about the tribe. That was a different setting of tribes, I would take it. So he's from a particular tribe. You mean when it comes to Shia and Sunni? No, Shia and Sunni. He was Sunni. He was Sunni. Right, okay. And the majority of... Educate me on this part because I don't know. Yeah, go on. The Sunni, are they more of the ones still leading the country? At the moment, no. It's the opposite. It's the Shias that are sort of leading the country, which is, again, everything with Iran and all that, you know, all this stuff. But, yeah, it's politics. It is politics. I mean, I guess really what I'm sharing in light of this is most people probably don't know much about Iraq and the Iraqis. If you talk about Iraq, you know, what they ship their mind back to is, as I was saying, without obviously knowing the back end story, without meeting someone that's from there. And sometimes we make judgmental, should I say, thoughts without being to that country. Without knowing anything. You know, without knowing the people from that country. So, I mean, from what you said, from what I know, it's a lovely country. Oh, it's beautiful. I go, I go, I go like now. I've just came back not long ago, about two months. I went from, like I went in Feb and I came back in April. Best food. I had the best time. I enjoy, you know, spending time over there. It's very safe. Okay. Not even warm. What was the population of Iraq? Including the people that live outside Iraq, it's 40, 38, 40 million. That's it? Yeah, that's it. We're not much. That's why if we have a really good government, we can be very rich country. It's an oil producing country. Yeah, but unfortunately, we, you know, whoever's ruling, it's not very, it's not stable in that sense, where people should be treated with fair amount of wages and things like that. But, but that's why, you know. What is that? Yeah. But in terms of food, safety and traveling too, it's quite safe. You mentioned the food when we were talking at the gym and that you said it's one of the best. Is it something to do with the goat head? Yeah. What's it called again? It's called Bacha. Bacha. It's, it's very, very. The common food. Yeah. So when I went, I was having that almost every night. It's quite heavy food. It's not common. You don't make it on a regular basis because it's quite heavy to make. It takes time. But it's delicious. You can have it with your hands. And most of, you know, which we do the same thing. Middle Eastern in general. Nigeria as well. In fact, it's that understanding that the best food is eating with your hands. Yeah. And then you have people that will still hug you. They'll say, oh, this cook, you know, in the Western world, what is she? Why are you eating with your hands? They're dirty. But for some reason it tastes better. I still eat, you know, how when I'm eating my traditional food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the pandemiya, the aporio and the rest of it. So, so I guess some people don't actually understand it. So, hey, it is obviously one of the reasons why we should travel. It's shocking to me, even like in the West. For example, when you, when you have pizza, even in the West, I have. You eat with your hands. Yes, exactly. You pick up the pizza slice and you have it with your hands. Yeah. I have friends, obviously, from London, born and bred in London. I go out with them. They start eating with their hands before me. They love it. And I don't think it's to do with etiquette or anything like that. I think more so you being comfortable, whether it's in public, whether it's in your house, in front of your, you know, family members or your partner or things like that. But yeah, it tastes better. You know, you're not wasting dishes. So in 21st century, let's go down to the nitty-gritty. What people are actually waiting to hear, as they would say, is getting married still advisable in a Western country? Oh, good question. Yes. Or should I say, would you get married? Well, actually, you're not the one calling. Someone has to marry you. You have a question, yes. I will ask you, from what you've noted, from your friends, your peers, your surroundings, are people still as, you know, entrusting to get married as it was perhaps, say, 20, 30 years ago? Because the studies show that wedding dresses and wedding companies are closing down. Really? Because people are not buying wedding dresses anymore. I've never heard of that before. Yes, it shows that nobody's getting married. Yeah, majority of them are going out of business. Oh, my gosh. I guess it has a lot to do with, of course, the world is changing very fast. Of course. Most people probably don't actually still, you know, catch up with that. I mean, do you blame them with the inflation? I wouldn't say inflation per se. I'd say some of the facts we have to deal with is that we now have a generation of women which are now well-educated. Yeah. So you now have women now at work. You now have two genders, let's say. You know, some people argue that's more than two genders. More than two genders, yeah. But we now have the man and the woman at work. Most people do not really have the time, perhaps, to give things a chance. I think we're more locked into our career in some ways. And some will also argue that the days where we sit down and let things work compared to where we just test it for a minute and then we throw it out of the bin. Yeah. The microwave generation. Where we don't want to sit down and know shit and let the outcome of it, you know, rather than just swiping left or swiping right. Because everything happens to be that. I think, do you know what it is? Inflation is one of the reasons too. People don't have patience anymore. Love to network, that's fine, it's true. However, if you love someone, you care about someone, you think of your future five years ahead, like what you want to do. I think you can always make time and you can always put things ahead of you. Make a schedule, make time for the things that you want to do. For example, now tennis. When I used to finish work at six, I would be home. But for seven, I would be like, okay, I'll see you at the court, let's play tennis. Because it's a hobby that I like and I've been playing that for a long time. So I make time for that, even if I have other things. Even if my friends are asking me to go out with them, to have dinner or anything like that. I don't mind cancelling that because I want to enjoy doing that. So it's what you prioritise. But in terms of marriages, not happening. And I know from what you just said now, that's your personal side of things. But does that have any effect on the type of men that are out there? Because there is also that conversation that there are no men for us to date anymore. Most men are acting all feminine now. And then you now have the male side, so mostly men are acting all masculine. I mean, I don't see it that way. But although I see it to some extent. What it is, I think we've always had men who were not willing to do 100% or 90% and 10% or 80% and then 20%. We've always had those types of men. For example, I know people in my family where they've married men who have done nothing for them. They were taking over, doing everything themselves. But do I see that as a failure? No. Are you talking about the men not doing enough? The women. The men not doing anything. The women doing everything, running around and working hard, etc. Right. The general kind of change. Yes. I'm talking about 10 years ago. I'm talking about 15 years ago. So you do have those. We've always had those types of men. It's not something that's new. However, now it's being exposed out there. It's out there more. It's because women speak about it. Do you think it's effective? Effective in what way? Is it sustainable to raise a family in those sort of scenarios? Well, the people that I know, they're still together. But I personally disagree with it. I would never marry a man or be in a relationship with a man where I have to do even 10%. It's not because I'm a gold digger. I love money too much. It's because I will still work. I will still earn. But I would not appreciate where I have to chip in everywhere. I have to take care of bills. I have to pay for rent. I have to know when this is due, when that's due. Because I don't see it as something that I should be... It's not feminine side? No. I would actually argue that any woman that does that puts you in a more masculine role. And those relationships never last. Of course. I've never been there, so I wouldn't know. But from people that I've actually spoken to or people that have actually gone through it, it just never lasts. Even if a female wants to do it, there's a limit. A man should never allow her to do it. That's the thing. Because I know... Okay, I'll give you an example. I've been on a date where a date is like just coming out of a relationship. And I don't know how the dating world was. And as a traditional, you take someone out, you're paying for the bill. As a man, yes. And it doesn't take anything for me. But this particular person found it offensive that I was paying for the bill. Because they're not used to that. No, no. They're not used to that, yes. But I guess it has something to do with this generation I'm talking about. Generation... This particular generation, they've been bombarded with a lot of... Should I say... Hold on. They've been bombarded with a lot of false narratives that women can do it all. Okay. And what we now then have is a place where you're telling a woman that she can do everything and she doesn't need a man. Then that now makes the question, if you don't need a man, you can do it all, where do you then place me as the guy that wants to love you for who you are? Yeah, because men naturally do feel like they are needed. They like to feel like you're asking them, can you do this for me? Can you do that for me? And they actually like it. They don't like it when you don't ask them. But then again, that depends on the man. If a man wants to take responsibility and accountability for his actions and behaviours and things that he was willing to do, then yes, he will be annoyed if you don't actually ask him, can you do this? Can you do that? Or he... I do think that a real man... You were able to cheat him if a man wanted to take accountability for his actions. Who do you think takes more accountability for their actions, a man or a woman? In today's age? I mean, okay, I would say women don't take accountability for their actions. Oh, wow! A woman at greatest! No, it's true, it's true. When a woman don't like to say we're wrong, we've done anything wrong, it's always right. Is there a reason to that effect? I think it's just in our nature, maybe. But then again, it depends on what it is. If it's anything simple, I'm willing to say, you know what, I'm wrong and I do apologise. But I would never personally, I would never put myself in a position where I have to apologise to somebody. Like I don't normally, like I have a lot of friends and I don't normally... You know, women, they tend to argue a lot. I don't tend to find myself in situations where I have to apologise to another woman, whether that's family, whether that's friends or colleagues. I have to say sorry because I did something bad or did them wrong, you know. Okay, so 2024, as we say, life is moving forward, things will change. But men have to, sorry, before you ask another question. Men, you asked the question that women, why do they not get married? You know, all that stuff. I mean, I have my reasons and I think I can easily back mine with statistics. That's not going to just be for what people think. Aside from what I just mentioned about people not wanting to get married and the wedding dress is going out of business, I think I can understand why. It's difficult for women. No, no, it's not just the difficulty. It is the, should I say, the breaking into pieces of men in divorce courts. The judicial court system. I mean, if you look at the statistics, it's 80% divorce rates. Yeah, there is a lot of divorce rates. If you look at 60% to 70% divorce rates, if the female is educated, it's about 80% to 85%. So you now start asking the question, what is that exactly going on? Why there are more divorce rates in today's relationship? And why are all the divorce initiated by the women? But if you now go down to the court system and see how most men are treated, it makes you understand why you would want to stay away from such union. Most men lose their houses. Majority of the suicide are mostly men. Majority of people that lose custody of their kids are men. So when you look at those statistics, would it be considered a good deal if you are a man, when you know 2, 3, 4 people that you are surrounded with, they've gone through it. And it hasn't turned out well. Would it not be a good deal for you to get involved in when you know that's the outcome of it? I guess, from my understanding, and not just again me just saying, there's a statistic that people are... Yeah, yeah, yeah, the divorce rate is quite high. I think that's a big, massive effect as to why most men are not actually considering it. Because obviously, man gives the marriage. But then you have to look at the reasons why there's the high rate of marriage. Why would you think the reasons are? This might be a test, because people are still looking for most majority of the reasons. Well, let's crack on. To me, women can be very... We can easily get influenced. Such and such said this. Such and such and wife is having this. You're not doing this for me. This is not fair. One way to put it, women are waking up a lot more. They tend to notice things quicker than back in the day. That can have a bad... Can you elaborate on that? Women are waking up more. That can have a good positive effect on the household or it can have a bad negative outcome. Waking in terms of not accepting what the generations before accepted. For example, let's say, if a family back in the day, the dad threw a slap or treated the mother badly, she would keep her mouth shut and carry on and then take care of the children. There's not a high percentage of that. We need to look at that though. We always go to the extreme when we talk about things like this. Wait, wait, wait. Today's date, our women don't accept that, which is fine. You shouldn't. No woman should accept that. But we're talking about extreme here. The relationship back in the day worked. Not because a wife was being slapped and she just decided to stay. It's not. There were genuine reasons why people stayed. There were two people that were in love and even if they fall out of love, they always stay together for common things. Do you know the reason why they usually stay? Are you talking about for the sake of their children? For the sake of their children. Fine. Which I think, I strongly believe, is actually one of the strongest reasons why I believe when two people get married and we start popping out those babies, your selfishness should be foresight. Of course. People will argue, yeah, but I need to be happy. I strongly believe, and I was actually saying the other day, I was saying to a friend, I don't believe men, you know, we need happiness every day. Happiness is for women and children. That's why. That's why women initiate divorce more. Right. Because the man don't care about that part. The woman cares about that part. But then again, I'll not give you another statistic that shows that most women now are more on antidepressants. So, even as being single or even as being divorced. So, it now begs the question. What exactly is the happiness that we're looking for? And have we really found it as two unions? Or are we still searching for it as individual people? And how are we going to go about it? And are we doing it wrong? I strongly believe we're doing it wrong. I think we're doing everything the opposite. Or is there a system tearing us apart? Again, people will say the conspiracy theory. But I believe there's a system tearing us apart. Because look at all the social media. Look, for example, now I'm on Instagram. I look at someone else's and the way they're living. I'm like, okay. Maybe not me personally. But there are a lot of women out there. A lot of girls. Especially during the holidays. Oh, why should I not have this? Why can I not have that? Why am I settling for a man who's not doing anything? Are most women influenced by that? You'd be surprised. I personally don't. Are you influenced by that? Absolutely not. People might say, oh, she's lying. When I see my friends on Instagram or Snapchat. They're travelling. I'm happy for them. I'm like, enjoy to the max. Do what gives you pleasure. Do it. Why not? Be happy. I'm all for that. But there are people who don't like it. They will see and they get triggered. They're like, okay, why am I not having this? Why is my man not doing this for me? So, for example, you get a bunch of flowers delivered to your workplace from your husband or from your boyfriend. Or from your long-term partner. And you see all the colleagues. They say, oh, why is my boyfriend not doing that? Oh, I wish my husband did that for me. Or vice versa, like in other places. Or outside, elsewhere. You go to fancy dinners. I've been to high-end restaurants. I've sat and I've posted it on Instagram. I've had friends the next day say, oh, how can you afford that? And clearly, if you are questioning that to my face. Clearly, you have thoughts about it. Oh, how can she afford this? How can she live like this? She lives in such a nice area. She lives this. She's doing this. She's doing that. Flying business class. She's having all this. I want this too. So, those little things, social media can have an influence on your mind and slowly, slowly. And also, things are easily accessible. So, for example, men cheating, women cheating. These things are very easily accessible online. You swipe right or left. You meet people. And then, you know, you go for dinner. That's why things puzzle out quite easily because you give things to quickly. Do you think single women keep other women single? And why? Bad friends can have bad influence on you. That's the thing. Do you believe single women keep other women single? I do agree with that, yes, to an extent. And if that's the case, why do you think that might be the case? Because imagine. Let's say, for example, there's two best friends, okay? They've been single for five years and they're always together. They go for evenings out together. They play games together. They go to gym together. They live close by. They do everything together to the point that if a day goes by, they don't talk to each other. It feels that they feel incomplete, okay? So imagine that all of a sudden one of them gets into a relationship, okay? So one of them gets into a relationship. When you get into a relationship, you have your man to do this with. You have your partner. You go to the cinema. You go shopping. You don't need that friend to go with, okay? So you go with the boyfriend that you have. So all of a sudden, that friend feels left out. It feels like there's not much for them to do anymore, you know? So that relationship puzzles out. And then you're starting a new relationship with a man that you possibly end up going to marry. And what's going to happen? Things are going to clash. From my experience, from what I've known, because I've taken notice of the majority of this, I did a lot of studies. I was that guy that stays in a relationship for, from, should I say, jumping from one to another, from 2009 and to new generation. I don't even know what's happening out there. And having to come out of one and then taking time out to be single and understand the market. And lots of stuff kind of makes sense to me now. And when it makes sense, it begs the question why some of the things that happens, happens. Or why some of the things that people do, do them. And I strongly believe some women, not all, eight other women that might be doing really good. They might not be doing excellently well in the relationship or their marriage. But they find a way to think, you should not be the only one having a man in the house. You should not be the only one having someone look after your kids or taking you on holiday or, you know. So I want to bring you from that thing that you're in and you know, come join our gang, so to say. And I've always wondered why that is. But when you take your time out to understand it, it just comes down to the statement where I just made now of single women keep other women single. Now, there's one little part that you touched on, which is cheating. Men cheating and women cheating. I have come to find out that in this generation, I think that switch has happened. The switch is, most women cheat more. And again, this has come down to not just personal reasons. This has come down to a lot of personal studies that I've had to carry out in the last two years. Now, in our hearts, it begs again the question, what has changed? What is happening? Are men that weak, that women do not respect them no more? That they feel easily okay, you know, I'm going to do what I'm going to do. Or as it comes down to the level where it is, if he leaves anyway, as they say, it's cheaper to keep her. I'm more likely going to take the kid. I'm more likely going to take his house. I'm more likely to take his assets. I'm not saying she probably doesn't have our money, but with what the divorce court is giving now, the power dynamics has changed. And it pisses me off when people say, you know, the hierarchy, you know, patriarchy rather, that men rule everything. No, a small percentage of white men rule everything. Not all. In fact, the most average white men are suffering. Most average minorities are suffering. Of course. So when we have a gang of all feminists to say, you know, patriarchy and men's sexism, no, it's not. Majority of men are average. Majority of men are not having life as good as people think, you know, as people think it is. We are struggling every day, but sometimes we don't say it, because I don't mind. Be a man and keep it in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Deal with your struggles. Again, I don't have a problem with it. I just happen to be a very tough, keen guy. But there are some men that I couldn't deal with it. And then when you speak to them, you realize that it's come from the fear of, I don't want to lose everything that I have. And then start all over again. And start all over again. I'm getting older. I'm in my 50s and my 60s. It's cheaper to keep up. Then you now have people that are staying in relationships that they don't want to be in. You know, staying in the same house, but sleeping in a different bedroom. Having had sex for one year. And then you ask yourself, oh, you haven't had sex with him for one or two years, and then you're angry that he's gone out to pay his sex worker outside. Is that fair? If you're married, should sex be on the table as requested? Or should it be a tedious thing once you're married? Or should it be... Does it wild out after a while? Or does the man have to continue to chase until the end of time? It's not about chasing. With marriage, you're committing a commitment. When you decide to marry someone, then you marry someone. That's it. You're married to that person. That's why I strongly believe you should never have a relationship before marriage. So when you meet someone, when a woman meets a man or a man meets a woman, I strongly believe, especially in today's age, everyone is extremely smart. Everyone is extremely self-aware. If you aren't, then God bless you. Am I walking against God? I think it is. Being too smart. Sometimes being naive and gullible is much better than knowing it all. Because being smart, what happens is you pick up things quickly, you're self-aware about yourself, and the other person, you can analyse them very quickly. It can have its own advantages. It can be very advantageous for your own good, but it can be very disadvantageous too. In terms of women and men, marriage and commitment, I do think that, like I said, everyone is very smart in today's age. Everybody or just the men? I think everyone. I'll tell you why. We are talking about relationships here. You can, again, rebut this if you want. You'd be surprised. Women are very smart. However, they can be very, very naive. There's a difference. There's a thin line. But if being naive destroys the things that you've built over the years, if being naive puts your child in a disadvantage when the person grows up, is that being naive or is that being stupid? That's not. That's not naivety and that's not stupidity. That's having grudges. That's being jealous. That's being hateful. That's having resentment within yourself. That's having issues within yourself. I don't think that's anything to do with being stupid or naive. That's being very smart when you're using something against someone. By the way, I'm not just talking about kids. That's just wrong for the kids. Anything. Then if I have to move it to the wife that uses the same logic to destroy her husband. But that's why I say before men and women are smart. When I meet a man, I know. That's smart. That's beautiful. No, no, no. I'm talking about marriage. So, for example, now you meet a woman. The first three months you're talking to her, you know if you're going to marry that woman or not. When a woman says, oh, you're not sure you've been in a relationship for two years. It's like, what are you doing? What do you mean a relationship for two years? A man only wants to marry a woman in the first three months. Less than that. Less than that. Thank you very much. Less than that. It's very true. If a man stays with you that long and doesn't marry you yet. No, no, no. He's not going to. He's not going to. There is other things. And there's other few excuses I hate that people use. Oh, he's not financially stable. That's why he's not going to marry me. No, he doesn't want to marry you. Well, I'm not advising menstruation to get married by me. But, yeah, carry on. Yeah, well, depending. Like, because of all the everything, you know, having children. And then, you know, if anything goes wrong. And then you have to give everything to her. That's a different story. But, my point is, with the marriage thing. And then having committed to the relationship. When you're in a relationship with somebody for three, four, five years. And you've done everything with that person. When you get married, naturally things fuzzle out. Naturally things tend to go the bad way. You might agree or disagree. I, again, put it down on religion. You don't really change. I put it down on religion. You do change. There's a reason every culture has a book. There's a reason every culture has somebody above them. Tells them, you know, you've got our God. Tells you, one, two, three. You do it that way. The majority of us don't follow that. We don't, unfortunately. Especially with the ones that leave in the West. We don't, unfortunately. But, there is something that's out there telling you. There's a book. I have our book. Someone else has their book. You've got, you know. Tells you, one, two, three. You do it that way. You go very far. You don't do it that way. You will come across hardship as you go along. Obviously, every hardship is different. But, that's what I think. That's why, back in the day, things were a lot more successful. It's because people were following their books much more. There was a lot more respect. There was a lot more shame. Nowadays, there's more shame. Yeah, so I was just going to touch on that. Because I don't think it's just the book. I don't think it's just the only book. No, no, no, no. But there's shame. Shame and respect. Shame and people having family values. Family values, yes. People having respect for what they've built. And then, you understand. And not getting where you come from as well. Yes, because you want to uphold the family name. Yes, of course. So, as you mentioned, shame. And I think, with the new age of social media, where you think the grass is greener on the other side. It's not. You know. Oh, thank you for stating that. It's never. It's never the greener on the other side. Never, ever. So, back in the day, and I'm sure some people will probably understand this. If a girl in a city grows up with another guy in her neighbourhood, it's more likely she will probably choose from that within the city, if that's where she grew up, or if it's a small town. Now, you know how the likes of having an Instagram, and then you have a TikTok, and the rest of it. People can find love a thousand miles away. Oh, yeah. While sitting down in a remote village somewhere. Yeah, and then see them the next day. Or having a fantasy that they can marry a supermodel whilst being in their mother's basement. So, having those disparities of how things have changed then to now, whereas we, like, I wouldn't say life was easy, but life was less complicated. Life was religion, school, work, get married, start a family. Yeah, yeah. To some extent. Back in the day. Back in the day. Yes. And then, you know. And simple food. Yes, yes. Simple food. And, obviously, the inflation is not as crazy as it is. You can have two families. In fact, you can have one person being the breadwinner of the family, and they can still afford a mortgage. They can still buy a car. Yeah, always. They can still send their two kids or four kids to school. They can still have vacation, two vacations every year. Every year, yeah. They can still, you know, get loans. They can still have a good life. But, whereas now, things have changed. It has changed so far, and I think things are moving extremely very fast that we can't even catch up. And I was saying yesterday that I was one of those people that used to think, what the hell is wrong with the Gen Zs? But I've come to realise that I actually don't understand them now. I don't know if it's going to do with the people that are born in the 80s, because we that are born in the 80s, at first, we didn't understand what was going on with the Gen Zs, and then we didn't understand what was going on with the boomers. But I get it. Some people still don't get it, but I get it. I strongly can't understand where the Gen Zs are coming from, because I used to think, oh, you freaking lazy people, just get up and go to work. But no, why should you be getting up at 8, 7 a.m. in the morning to go to work and sit in the office, when you come back home tired and do the same thing all over again, and you can't afford to pay for your rent, or let's just say you pay your rent, and that's all you've got. You can't afford to buy a house wherever you're living. You can't afford to start dating someone. You can't afford to start a family. You can't, you know, live a good life. You can't go on vacation. You've got loads of debt. You know, I understand. I understand why they don't want to do the same thing that we did or what the boomers did. Now, that's the Gen Zs. Again, like I used to say, I used to be against them, but I get it now. I get it. Because again, they can see their counterpart, or rather I should say some of the friends where they happen to pick up some skills and now they're making hundreds of thousands of dollars online from just sitting on a laptop. Then the question, why should I be going to work and sit in this cubicle and less than God knows, $50,000 a year? What does that pay? I can't get married. I can't look after myself. I can start from disease. What's the time? When I can sit on TikTok, I sit on TikTok getting paid, making sound and making ridiculous sounds. People on social media get paid. They're paid. Yeah, yeah, of course. Now I get it. I get the Gen Z. I see why they are somewhat angry. Now, with the boomers, they are lost cause. I mean, oh, help me Lord. I think the boomers, I think they are one of the major issues I think because they don't get what is happening. They are supporting policies that's working against the younger generation because they are still looking at perspectives of things from their own time. They still look at things from when they bought a house at $40,000. I'm going to use dollars because it's the general. Yeah, yeah, use of currency. People don't believe in England when we use pounds. But in their own time, when they can buy a house for $50,000 and they earn their salary is $50,000. So salary is $50,000. Mortgage is for two bedroom house is $50,000 which means you can easily raise a family, go another day, and then have a wife that goes to work. That's $100,000 out of income. So you can easily pay out a mortgage in less than five years which people were doing back in those days. But a lot of people back in the days have a lot of properties. They own properties, whether it's in the UK or outside the UK. When you see it, for example, when I work with, I see patients on a daily basis. So I have certain patients and they retired from the age of like they're 58. And I'm like, what do you do? What's your occupation? They're like, Oh, I'm retired. I've just retired two years ago. And I'm like, Oh, okay. What do you do? Oh, nothing. I just have a lot of property. That's it. So it's that time. A woman telling me she, in Shepherds Bush, she bought a property for £21,000 in 19... That must have been many, many moons ago. Or whatever. At Shepherds Bush as well. Yeah. And then now... That would have been in the millions now. Thank you. Exactly. It's one point something million. It's just a one bedroom. But my point is, it's those people back in the day, things were much easier. Like technology and all that makes things... Do you believe that if that's the case, are we still... She would then, as far as she... How come it's a young generation? She would then overlook this idea that we just want to stay in one city. She would be a man on the back. She would start looking at this idea of a man on the back. Meaning... Not really. Would she change countries that suits our needs? That... Would she go and look for a wife somewhere else when the wife in the West is not adhering to what's meant to be the common environment? But the things are changing everywhere. So I'll tell you why. So... That won't work. Because no matter where you go... People are the same. Let's say you go out of the West, OK? You go to other countries. They are full of culture. For example, let's say Middle East. And you want to marry a Middle Eastern woman. They already have been told and set in their book that your dowry is this. So your maha is this. You need to ask for this. The man already has to be established somehow, somewhat financially. And he has to be able to provide a certain lifestyle especially if she comes from a certain... Even if she doesn't come from a rich, privileged family. Yes. Still expecting... There are still expectations where it needs to be met. Am I coming from the West? Sorry, I'll try to be quick. Am I coming from the West that's earning, say, £60,000 a year? OK. And it goes to Middle East, one of the Middle East countries? Iraq money. £60,000, is that a lot of money? That's good. That's not bad. I'm earning £60,000. I can work from anywhere in the world because I just need my laptop and my phone because my company has allowed me to work anywhere. And I can move to Iraq and I'm still earning money. Yes, if you earn £60,000 a year. Am I leaving above average with £60,000? Or let's say £6,000 and I've got some $5,000. Depends who you... Average, in general, you'll be living comfortably, yes. You'd be living just like the people. And would I be able to marry a supermodel? A supermodel. Because you earn £60,000 a year. Well, I mean, if I'm leaving work, I don't need to go to Iraq. Well, you've got to leave somewhere that's low culture and good food. Well, maybe not me personally. Maybe not me personally. Maybe if I can. I don't want to stay in the West anymore. I've lived in England all my life. I don't like the culture here as there's any culture, but I want to move to a different country. Now, if what I want is a family, I want respect, I want values, and I can't find them where I am, can I move to another country with my current salary or with my current business or be if you're an entrepreneur with my current business? Can I take that with me as a no-man? I don't see why not. So that then comes back to with culture change of our West is changing. You said it's branching out to other countries as well. So would you say Iraq is picking up on that Western? Oh, yeah, but it's not that picking up on the West style of living. It's not that. It's already, they've already had that where women should be taken care of. Mm-hmm. Now, in a way, but now, in the West, women just now realizing that women should be taken care of and not do 50-50. They've always done 50-50 back in the day till now, but all of a sudden now, they realize in waking up cold in a second, why am I doing 50-50? I shouldn't be doing 50-50. A man should be doing 100-0. Who is doing 50-50? What, people in? The West. People are doing it. You ask a man, why are you doing 50-50? Oh, inflation. You ask a man, why are you doing 80-20? I can't do it all by myself. Fine, fair enough because you're living in a country where it's true. Inflation is quite high. Things are expensive. No problem. But then again, it depends on the woman. Is the woman agreeing to that? If the woman is agreeing to that, then by all means, it's okay. It's fine. But in the Middle East, women don't agree to that. The majority of the women don't actually want to work and that's not because they... And most women shouldn't. I don't think... Not because they're not capable. It's because they just want to have babies, have kids, take care of that, live in a nice house, have a nice car, do everything, meals ready for the man when he comes home. You know, as long as the man's doing his job properly because you don't want to marry someone and be hesitant. Okay, if I really stop working, will he be able to really do it? Because women are not stupid. You can click if the man can do it or not. Do it or not. Because you don't want to leave your job and not work and then the man has collapsed after six months. You know, can't do it. So you want to be 100% sure. But then again, it depends on what he does as a job. Let's say if you're a doctor, then you can say, okay, do you know what? His salary is consistent and it doesn't matter where he goes in the world, he will still have that income. It might not be as consistent as you think. Even the medical practitioners are actually complaining as well. But then again, I'm talking about, yeah, in the Middle East. But yeah, so it depends. And then again, there are men who totally disagree with having a woman that's just going to give him babies and stay home. Who would disagree with that? A lot of men don't want that. A lot of men don't want that? For what? Wait, wait. I'm not sure the men that you're talking about. No, no, no. In the West, there are a lot of men. What have I been saying to her? I've been saying to her, I want how many kids? 20, 30? You can have, you can want, as a person, you can want 100. That's fine, you can do. But, depends, one, can you afford that? Look, when a man says he wants something, and when a man puts his mind to it, he will do whatever he can or what he would to make sure those things are met. And I strongly believe in that. If a man, well not again, I'll speak in general, in a general sense, yeah, and I'll probably still speak for myself, yeah. If a man has stopped doing his position as a man, for a person that he's meant to love, it's one of two things. Either he doesn't trust the support of that person anymore and it's withdrawing back from whatever he's given. Yeah, yeah. Either that's one. Or two, he's not satisfied with himself. He's doing something that is not satisfying enough. So, it's questioning his, his, Capability. Capability and some few things. That's when a man withdraws from what he's been doing. If it was a man that gives 100% and he decides to do less, it's another one of those things. Either that doesn't trust the, the dynamic of the other person that he's doing it for and he can, he's not getting the reciprocal back, which doesn't have to be monetary. It could be by a little bit of support. Yeah. It could be by being on the same page with the person. Yeah. It could be by knowing that knowing that when I go out and fight the world and do what I need to do, I'm coming back home to peace. I'm not coming back home to start an argument again or I'm not coming back home to another sort of war or some sort of madness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The winds of the peace is in their house. And, a man would pick, not against the guys that pick corruption afloat or do the garbage. A man would get any job to support his family. That's, I strongly believe in it. A man would do anything to know, if he knows that his family is there with him and because having families, having kids is our legacy. That's what we live for. And having a support system doesn't mean a parent should have to cry. But that's not, that's not every man. True, true. That's not every man. I said on one of my Instagram videos that a lot of men are courageous. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of men who are very incapable. They would sit and they are worse than women. They're troublemakers. Do we know why that is? They gossip. They gossip. I think it's upbringing, you know. Upbringing in what sense? I think... I can tell you why. Not having father figure can make a big difference. Thank you very much. Okay. Not having a father where he has sat with you and treated you like you're a man. Or not having the father present in the house. You know. So whose fault is that then? The mother. Thank you. So we, so it took some expense. No, no. I see it. There are people who I know Yes. They have kids and they have let's say two, three sons and then two, three daughters. The daughters, the girls are more manly than the boys in the house. Yeah. Sometimes the mothers want to raise the daughters as the man that they wish they had. That's exactly what's happening. I can, I know people and I can see those things in front of me. So, but then when you look the way the mother has brought up those kids you think you actually, okay, you're a mother you've gone through a lot you've brought up those kids but you failed. Like a thorn. A thorn would happen before time. Yes. And, and also the kids, the daughters majority are very, you know, not stable mentally. They're not well. And, or the ones that are well they've learned out there. They've learned from friends. They've learned from hardships. They've learned from, so yes, it does, you're offering Do you know who George, George Soros is he? George Soros. George Soros? No, I've not heard of that name before. Right, so he's a billionaire. Happens to be a philanthropist. I think he's American and Hungarian if I'm right. Okay. I think he was born in Hungary many years ago. Yeah. During the 1940s. During the Hitler era. Then I think he moved to America. I'm not sure if he's Jewish but George Soros happens to be a, one of the highest donors to the Democrat Party. Okay. Which is the second party in America compared to the, the blue party, Republican Party. Republican, yeah. There is that saying that some of his donation happens to be to the dividing of men and women. Some, there's an agenda. Look, um, we are at a stage now where they say conspiracy is actually the actual news now. So when people touch on conspiracy, Yeah. they could all have licked it to some, some, somewhat the truth. Uh, because you ask yourself what is the benefit of removing the father from the house? What is the benefit of having women into the workforce where they don't want to be? They'd rather want to be raising families but then you now understand that it comes down to money, it comes down to control, it comes down to having two, two people going out to the workforce then nobody's raising the kids. If nobody's raising the kids, somebody must be raising the kids. The system, the school. Of course, which is happening in today's world. It is happening in today's world. But that's why there is a saying, or breaks a man. Yeah, I believe, I believe, I believe in that. I guess if, yeah, that's true. If you choose the wrong woman then you're more likely to be destroyed. I tell most of the young boys I'm talking to, I say look, if there's anything you want to get right at this young age of yours, regarding the 20th century, I say look, you want to make sure that you want to get two things right. The woman that you choose to be the mother of your child and then perhaps I'll say the career that you want to choose as a young man. You want to get those two things right. The woman that's going to be the mother of your child. If you get them wrong, you will have to battle a lot of things as you grow older. You will probably have to battle. But going back to the separation where I think there's something happening in the system, I may not be able to put my finger on it, but let me draw this back to the 70s and this, I'm going to talk about the black now and I'll refer to these as obviously the black Americans or African Americans. I'm not sure which one they, there's so many, some say the black Americans, some say African Americans, some say... In the 70s, there were more families together. What then happened? What came in the 70s was more families together. What came in the 70s was more families together. What came in the 70s was, what was introduced was the, what we call in this country universal credit. The giving money to the mother. But there was that, that if a man was not in the house, there would be more money to the woman. Health, yeah. Health, there would be more health rendered to the woman. And I think the degrading experience of the black Americans, the black Americans, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the 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black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black men, the black