episode 2

This is the second episode of the Rejected Pre-Med Podcast, which focuses on helping people who have been rejected from medical school or other professional schools. The host discusses the importance of happiness and how it can help overcome rejection and make informed decisions about future career paths. Happiness is determined by attitude and interpretation of events, as well as living in the present moment and appreciating small things. The host suggests practicing gratitude and surrounding oneself with inspiring things and people. They also mention the concept of "artist states," where individuals set aside time each week for creative or inspiring activities. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the second episode of the Rejected Pre-Med Podcast. We have made it to the second episode. This is a podcast for those who, like me, got rejected from medical school or any other professional school and are now trying to figure out where to go from here, being in the midst of it all with me as we try to figure out what to do with our lives and how to stay mentally healthy and happy in the process. In the previous episode, I talked about my story and how it led me to starting this podcast. This episode is going to be something I call a resource episode. In my resource episodes, I'll be talking in depth about resources and pieces of knowledge I've accumulated to help me get over rejection from medical school. Specifically, this episode will focus on my insights from Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project book, and I'll also be referring to a few other articles concerning happiness. So, I chose to focus on happiness today because knowing how to achieve personal happiness will grant you with habits and discipline needed to overcome adversity and obstacles in your life, such as rejection per se. It can help you be in a mental state where you can think clearly about what your next steps should be. I also just want to show you that it is possible for a person to be happy while confronting life realistically and to be productive in the process. So, first and foremost, happiness begins with your own attitude and how you look at the world. We've all heard it before somewhere, right? But what does it mean? So, it is not what happens to you that determines how happy you are, but how you interpret what happens. So, for example, with me being rejected from medical school, I prefer to think of it as an opportunity to self-reflect on where I am in life and use the extra time I have for retreat and rest. I really believe that that will no doubt help me make a more informed decision about my future career path. Some other rejected students may seize the opportunity to travel or volunteer as a medical aide in a third world country, which is an experience that would not only make the student happy, but could also make them a better doctor in the future. On the other hand, viewing this rejection as a means to get down on yourself for not being good enough might be counterproductive and you end up being miserable. So, yes, happiness really is about how you look at the world and your circumstances. I totally, fully agree with that. Additionally, happiness is about living in the moment, appreciating the smallest things, and surrounding yourself with things and people that inspire you. And that is a quote I got from the Happiness Project book, and I agree with it. And there's a lot to unpack here in that sentence. So, let us just start with the first point. So, living in the moment. What does it mean to truly live in the moment? This does not mean trying your hardest not to think about MCAT or med school applications while seemingly being present at your friend's birthday party and trying not to look distracted. To truly live in the moment means to let go of your worries and to really feel your own presence, to stay in your body rather than get sucked into the content of your thoughts. And I speak from experience because I had to learn a hard way. Living in the present means to truly appreciate who you are now as an individual with your current qualities and talents. It means to stop tying your self-worth to your ideal future self who is already a doctor and making lots of money, and start feeling the inherent worth that is within you right now, right this second. So, say to yourself, even though you're not yet a doctor, you're still a freaking great person nonetheless who's deserving of love and compassion. And remember that. And don't be so harsh on yourself. I repeat this because we, as pre-meds, and especially pre-meds who've been rejected from medical school, really struggle with that. We're too hard on ourselves. So, yes, staying in the moment, living in the moment. That is the key, one of the keys to happiness. So, I'm saying all this stuff as if I already know how to really live in the moment, and sometimes I do, but there are days where I try to enjoy a Netflix show and suddenly a thought pops into my head about my multiple unsuccessful F-count attempts and, you know, my mood slightly goes down. And this is unavoidable, right? We all have these thoughts from time to time. The key here is to trump these negative thoughts with positive ones that come from living in the moment. It's from enjoying that chat with your significant other, petting your dog or cat, I don't know, sharing a meaningful conversation with a friend you haven't seen in a long time. When you fully engage in these beautiful moments that make up your life, your fears of failure and recent rejection would fade in the background more and more. And again, I speak from experience. I know what I'm talking about. I'm that person who always lives in the future and thinks of what's going to be ahead and tries to plan everything in advance. But if anything, my MCAT journey, my experience being rejected, has taught me that sometimes it's okay to let go and just let yourself relax and be in the moment. Okay. Oh, yes, another good thing to mention, a good exercise for when you try to be in the present moment, but your thoughts just will not leave you alone, is breath work. A good exercise is breath work. So basically what you do, you would, and everyone has a different way of doing breath work exercises. But the way I do it is you inhale deeply, you hold for about four counts, then exhale. And you hold for four counts. And you do this. And you do this until you feel more calm. And this practice will allow you to focus on your breath, and it would bring you back to the present while letting the other thoughts fade in the background. Now, another part to being happy is appreciating the smallest things. Now, this is a habit that takes time to develop. What I did to practice gratitude, and I started this practice last year, I believe, is to say to yourself, three things you're grateful for before you go to bed, whether big or small. It can be as small as saying, I'm grateful for the walk I took today at the park. I felt so calm and at peace. And as you say these things you're grateful for, try to really feel grateful for them too. Right? Because saying you're grateful, without trying to actually feel grateful for the thing you're saying you're grateful for, is a waste of time. For example, if I go to bed, and I think, Oh, I, and I know I have this task ahead of me, I have to say these three things I'm grateful for. Otherwise, I will not be positive. So then I tell myself, Okay, I guess I'm grateful for the dish I had today for dinner. But if I don't really feel it, then it doesn't really count as something I'm grateful for. So make sure you're really feeling grateful for whatever it is you're saying you're grateful for. Okay, but you know, and it may seem silly saying to yourself, these, these things you're grateful for, but eventually, believe me, these kinds of thoughts that invite positivity into your life will become a part of your brain's neural networks, you might have learned that the brain is engaged in neuroplasticity in one of your neuro classes, if you've had one, or your bio class, I don't know, doesn't matter. This means the brain can be rewired to function in a way that can make you more happy. And practicing gratitude is a very effective way to do so. Now, I feel like I've talked too much already. So I really hope some of this stuff comes of value to you. And I think it does if you apply it, if you apply the knowledge I share with you here, right. The third component to being happy is surrounding yourself with things and people that inspire you. Now, you may be wondering, okay, Valeria, that sounds all nice. But how do I know what or who will inspire me. And if you're like me, you may have partially lost view of the things that have inspired you and brought you joy when you focus so much of your life on the premed path. But if I found a way to get inspired, you can too with this very simple practice. I call it the weekly artist state. Now, before you skip over this part, telling yourself, I'm not an artist, so this doesn't apply to me, just just wait before I get to the point. Now, I do not consider myself an artist, really, because it seems like such a big loaded word. But I still did these artist states, and they truly, truly helped me. Weekly artist state is about giving yourself time once a week, maybe two hours or so to do something creative or inspiring, which I speak from experience, will, as an outcome, invite all kinds of joy into your life. Right. And I personally thought the idea of doing these artist states from the book called The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, which by the way, I will do a separate, separate episode on because it had a great impact on my life. And even though the book is written for artists, I believe it is a gem of a book for anyone. Artist states are something anyone can do, you don't have to be an artist. I'll give you an example of the artist states I did in a second. But the purpose of these artist states is to gain a fresh perspective that you may not get in your everyday routine, which can help lead you to professional or personal success in unpredictable ways, and also make you more happy. And according to research, novelty is stimulating, and thus is the key element to happiness. And by doing new things, which is what the artist states are for, right, it does not have to be art in the traditional sense that you're doing for your artist states. You are more apt to feel happy than people who stick to more familiar activities. That said, for your artist states, don't make yourself do something you dislike. Maybe do something you have always wondered about, or wanted to try, but never really had the time to, or I don't know, was too scared to fail at. The examples of my artist states include going to a dance class since I always liked dancing, learning a song on the piano, going to a local museum, art gallery, I think. And the last, one of the other artist states I did was going to the library and picking out random books to read. I otherwise would have never picked out, right? And they were so random. One of them was about gardening, which I don't ever engage in. The other one was about health and wellness. And yeah, I learned interesting things there, too. And the other book was about podcasting, and it was, I think it was called Podcasting for Dummies, which is very interesting because I did not even think of having my own podcast then, right? I just picked out a random book. But look at me now recording an episode for my own podcast. I don't know. Coincidence? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe, maybe not. Yeah. One other thing to mention about artist states is it's better to do them alone. And I'll tell you why. But I promise you these things can still be fun if you are doing them alone. If not, well, there are still benefits to doing them with someone else. But it is most beneficial to do them alone. How many times did I say alone at this point? But anyways, artist states are meant to help you find your thoughts and hear your inner voice, not the thoughts guided by your ego or your fears and insecurities, or even the voices of your friends and family. An artist state can help you become more confident, knowing you tried something new by yourself, and you actually liked it without having to have someone else by your side. So yes, artist states are very simple and fun confidence boosters. And they're especially helpful after rejection. Again, I speak from experience. So to reiterate, artist states, do them and do them alone if possible. Why? One, they help you gain a fresh perspective that can help you in unpredictable ways. Two, they make you more happy as research shows. And from my experience, they give you confidence. And who wouldn't want all those things I just listed, right? Yeah. We're soon coming near the end of the episode. And I just want to say thank you for listening to the end. It means a lot to me. And I just want to remind you that you are amazing wherever you are along the pre-med path. Along the pre-med path does not define how smart or successful you are. You are already successful and deserving of praise for the person you are now, outside of your accomplishments. So again, you are already successful, one. And two, deserving of praise for the person you are now, outside of your accomplishments. I repeat this because, as I said earlier in this episode, we as pre-meds don't have to be very harsh on ourselves. And it helps to hear such words. And I really intend to be one of your supports throughout your journey. This episode, I talked about multiple ways to stay happy after rejection, which included the idea of living in the present, practicing gratitude, and finding things to inspire you, such as the artist dates. I would love to hear what you do to stay happy. So please DM me on Instagram or LinkedIn to share your insights. I really do love learning about the art of happiness, because at the end of the day, that's what life is about, right? Staying happy, being happy. And remember, happiness is not something we should consider only when life is going well, or only when life is going bad. Happiness can be pursued in whatever condition life happens to offer. And I personally think that's beautiful. This was Valeria Rusnek, the host of the Rejected Pre-Med Podcast. And I thank you for listening. Bye bye.