Driver girl

The speaker is at a crowded restaurant, frustrated with the long wait and lack of service. They eventually get the attention of the owner, Dolores, and place an order. They strike up a conversation with a quiet person at their table, discussing their jobs, hobbies, and potential plans to hang out. The speaker leaves their phone number on the table and leaves, hoping to receive a text from the other person. Hey, I'm sitting here. Look, there's no other booths open or seats at the counter. It's like 12 degrees outside, and I'm tired as shit. If I don't get some decent food and some caffeine in the next few minutes, I'm literally gonna start throwing hands. So I'm sitting here. Unless you got a problem with that? No? That's what I thought. The waitress hasn't been around yet? Of course not. This is a shout-for-service kind of joint. Hey Dolores! This nerd's been here for 10 minutes without anyone taking their order. What kind of divvy-ass place are you running? Hey relax, this is just their system here. When it gets busy like this, it's not like McDank's where they take you in the order you show up. Trust me, I'd never shout at an employee anywhere else. Besides, she's the owner. Her name's on the roof, for crying out loud. She'll be over in a second. You better have your order ready or she'll literally throw you outside. Seen her do it. I recommend the chicken lemon rice soup. Nope, here she comes. Don't worry, I'll just order for you. Hey Dolores, we'll take two soups and two coffees, please. Also, you look pretty today. You look good too. Aw, thanks. See there? It's the system. Gotta understand the system. You're lucky I came by. Yes! Coffee! Ah, fear not, my friend. You shall be spared from the throwing of hands today. God, this warm cup feels so good on my hands right now. I think I'm gonna melt. So what brings you here? You're obviously not a regular. Ooh, mysterious. Don't wanna spill your guts to just any old cute girl that sits in your booth? I suppose that's fair. I'm sort of a regular here. I work third, so I actually just got off work. I need some caffeine or I will literally fall asleep on my way home. Like, I'm not even joking. Plus, the food is pretty good. Most of the time. Sometimes. So I'm around a lot. Maybe you've noticed me around, eh? Oh, come on. I know you're here sometimes. Not often, but sometimes. You smiled at me once. No, no. It's too late to apologize. I suppose I'll go on and join the Fantastic Four, because apparently I'm the invisible woman. Hmph. Sooo, what are you doing here? I mean, you seem like the quiet type. Not shy, necessarily. Just quiet. Why would you hang out with me? Why would you hang around a busy place like this? Ah, clever, clever. No better place to be alone than in a crowded place where everyone has something better to do. So mysterious and spooky. Personally, I'm a bit of an extrovert. I fucking love people. Like, honestly, I can't get enough of them. I mean, sure, there's some jerks out there. But hey, I can be a jerk sometimes, too, for being honest. You've got to meet people where they're at. You know what I'm saying? I just love people-watching. I love learning about people's lives and interests and stuff. I don't know if you've noticed, but I love talking to strangers. Never really learned that lesson as a kid. Everyone just has so much depth to them. It's incredible, honestly. Let's play a game while we wait, oh mysterious stranger. I tell you one thing about me, and you tell me one thing about you. Sound fair? I'm a delivery driver for the UPS. It's a fun job, but sometimes it leaves me dead tired. Pay is not bad, though, and we're a union, so I get time off and benefits. I'm satisfied. It's a lot of fun going through my route and meeting all the people at my stops. Today, I stopped at that fancy new Italian place uptown and delivered a whole crate of wine. A couple weeks before that, I dropped off a bunch of parts at that biker gang clubhouse north of town. They were out in the yard burning shit. It was pretty rad. Where do you work? Oh, that's pretty neat. I always wondered what that's like. Do you like it? Your job, I mean? Don't shrug at me. It's a yes or no question. Oh, I do have to be so noncommittal. Tell me more. I want to know it. It probably seems boring to you, but I didn't know all the gory details. Oh, man, really? I didn't even know you could use lasers for that. Were you able to get his order in? All right, round two. Got any hobbies? Personally, I really like to play the trumpet. My dad taught me how, and I'm not as good as him, but it just feels so satisfying to play. It's like shouting into the void. Instead of a whiny blubbering, it's a soulful cry within the concrete wilderness, man. One day I want to start a jazz band. So, tell me, what do you do in your spare time? Other than sit around all aloof when beautiful, funny, and intelligent women are obviously trying to flirt with you. That's so cool! Can you show me a picture? No way! How do you make the little thingies? That must take hours! Ooh, soup's here! Thanks, Dolores! Oh, my God, I am so hungry right now. It was so darn cold in my truck this morning, I would have literally stabbed anyone for a bowl of this soup. Like, I'm not even joking. This stuff's terrible for you, but I don't even care. I was making deliveries to the warehouse district down by the river this morning, and it was so goddamn cold and windy, like, it's all part of the job and what have you, but darn, I thought I was gonna freeze to death for a bit there. You ever get your hands so cold when they get all warm, it feels like a bunch of needles sticking into your skin? That was me this morning. No? Is that just a me thing? Man, maybe I should invest in some gloves. This polar vortex shit is doing me in. Oh, yeah, this hits the spot. You gonna eat your pickle? Cause I will. See, my mom always told me the cornerstone of a relationship is one partner that likes pickles and the other that will let them eat the pickle. Hey, she and my dad have been together almost 50 years, so she must be onto something. Lord knows they don't stick together for cooking or his handyman skills. I'll tell you that much. You should see their house. And, you know, if you're in the market for somebody like that, well, if you'd like, maybe this Saturday we could go do something kinda fun? The museum has this cool science exhibit that just came into town that I wanna check out. They've got this really neat thing about terror birds. Have you ever seen those things? Fuck, they're so cool. They were like 8 foot tall and could just shred whatever tries to fight them into a ham salad. And they got that cool Tesla coil thing. Or, since you're more introverted, maybe we could go someplace quiet and dark with a real nice atmosphere? I know this nice jazz club where I play sometimes. Real low-key, but a clean sort of place. Pretty chill. Not really trendy. Great drinks. Plus, I look damn fine in a little black dress. Just sayin'. Or, we could go see the hockey game. I mean, the team sucks balls this year, but those guys can really fight. It's freakin' awesome! Last time somebody's tooth hit the ice at a weird angle and landed in my coffee. It was fuckin' metal as hell, dude. And the tickets are really cheap right now on the account of the aforementioned suckage. Not sure. It's not every day a girl like me walks into your life, you know. I mean, who knows? Next time I see you, whenever a weird spell comes on me, I'd be gone. There's this really cute guy at work I think I might be into me, but I usually don't date coworkers. And honestly, I don't really like his vibe. That being said, gotta make you move while you can, cutie pie. Well, alright. Alright, for no reason at all, I'm gonna write my phone number on this receipt right here. I'm gonna leave it right here on the table. And if you happen to pick it up and text me, well, that can't be helped, can it? Anywho, I'm going home. I got tomorrow off, and I'm gonna sleep for like 12 hours. It'd be real nice to wake up to a voicemail from you. It'd be real nice to wake up to a voicemail from you. Thanks for talking, and don't worry, the soup is on me. Tick-tock, loser.