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Nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, Nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå, nå And so, yeah, getting it done. So, what do you do, Russ? Unreal. Absolutely. Cheers, legends. How about we start off with a bit of an alcohol review, a little bit of a beer review. We're going to make this a weekly tradition, just trying different beers, seeing what our taste buds can handle. So, you start us off, Kempos. What are you going with? What are you going to start with? Oh, I went the Brookvale Union Lemon Squash. Yeah, absolutely. I've heard they're pretty good. We obviously love their ginger beers, don't we, and their pub sodas. Fucking live off them, can't we? God. So, yeah, let's get into it and see what we've got. Oh, how good does that sound? Oh, mate, I tell you what, that's proper. I was feeling a bit crooked this morning. I told you before. I told you before I was going to say we might have to record tomorrow, but that's one way to feel better, isn't it? Ah, good, good. You and I both know how much we love our hard solos. I just want to try something different, you know what I mean? They're fucking expensive, the old solos. What's yours like, bruv? How good's that? Our bodies are temples, aren't they? Fucking nice work. Nice work. Tell us about your week. What do you get up to? For sure. Yeah, always good isn't it? Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Paper-pointed, haven't we? Oh, wait. Where is it? Wow, sometimes can be good. Ah, yeah, good. Similar, similar. Just people running around, wasn't it? Yeah, like you said, we've been only talking to each other most nights, haven't we? I reckon I'd put in more work in this than I have all semester at uni, so that's always a good start, isn't it? Ah, I love it, mate. But yeah, it's important to find something you're interested in, apart from uni. It can be a bit of a pain in the arse sometimes. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Well, we can't go to the fucking pub anymore, can we? Nah, nah. Yes, yes. Yes, yes. Ah, well, seven out of eight weeks in a row was good enough. Did the job. Yeah. What have you got for me? Jesus Christ. How old is he? Oh, man, he's pushing it. He's knocking on death's door and still performing well. Yeah, that's crazy. If prison's anything like movies, he'd be fucked. Ah, mate. Big Jerome. That's just a great name for a bloke in prison, I reckon. Any other news? It's been a pretty quiet week, hasn't it? It's been a pretty quiet week. If you've got any other ... yeah, that squash has gone down well, hasn't it? Yeah, if you've got any news that you want us covered, send them in and we'll give it a razz. For sure, for sure. Moving on. Maybe on. Probably my favourite segment of the podcast. Carry-ons. The carry-ons. How good are these going to be? I've been so excited for these. Well, first one, overtaking lanes, mate. I've got something for you. I was driving to work during the weekend. Yeah, obviously I was overtaking some bloke. But like we said during the week, it was 110 on the highway and this bloke's chugging along at, I'm going to say 90, 95. And I went past him and as soon as he saw me in his bloody side mirror, guess what he did? You know exactly. He absolutely sped up the dog. Oh, mate, that is an absolute grow act. Ah, you are a shit stain on society. That's what you are. Grow up, mate. Grow up. Seriously. But yeah, just drivers in general, I reckon. Like, how hard is it? Tacky medicine, exactly right. Exactly right. It pisses me off. It does a fucking, yeah. It does a number on me. It does a number on me. Let's give it a listen. What do we got for us? That's a fucking good one. Yeah, yeah. That's a disgrace. I think that's an absolute disgrace, to be honest. If I order a party, I expect it to be two feet long at least. Probably, if it's that big, it deserves to be on its own plate. Salad. No one likes a salad. When are pubs going to realise? No one eats a salad. Unless you get a good salad. But, I mean, a good salad is like two pieces of cucumber, a piece of lettuce and a bit of salad dressing, that's it. No one wants, nah, no one wants half a fucking plate of salad. What have we got for next round? What have we got for next round? Look, I could think of a couple of people, to be honest. I just think it's, yeah, it's just common sense, isn't it? It's literally a grub act, isn't it? Melbourne and I have had this conversation. I've told him, I've said, if I ever stink or if I ever have fucking body odour or something, just please tell me. Because I won't take offence to it if it comes from someone that I love or a family member, you know what I mean? Absolutely. Mate, if you stink, I'll fucking tell you. Yeah, I know, it's not that hard. Just wash your clothes. Nah, that was a good one, actually. Happy man. Just pointing him out. Shout out Ra, good boy. Well, yeah, send your carry-ons in. That's what we want. Send them in. If we can get more from you guys rather than just us coming up with it, I think you'd get pretty bored of it. We don't want to just be any other podcast. We want to have your input as well. We want to just make it fun. We don't care if we get fucking ten listeners or one. If we're the only ones listening back to it, we don't really care, to be honest, do we? Just piss off. Oh, yeah. You can jam it up your arse. Pretty much. Pretty much. Moving on. Let's look into... what was that, Brass? Fucking Instagram reel or something. Yeah, we're going to go into a bit of a sports segment. A bit of a sports recap and looking ahead to the week. Obviously this week we didn't really have a segment last week because this is our first fucking episode. So we're just going to have a little look into this week. We're going to cover NRL, AFL and a bit of the TSL for locals down in Tassie. We've got a couple of mates that play, don't we? So hopefully we'll get them on soon. Absolutely. We'd love it, wouldn't we? Mate, I don't know what Sammy Mitchell's doing down in Box Hill, but fuck, we're looking good. And like you said, we're going to be obviously pretty biased, but we're sitting 12th and I think that's exceeded my expectations for us this year. We've been good. Yeah, shit. We could be onto something, couldn't we? Nah, they suck. But it's a win's a win. Also, fuck them. Yeah, yeah. Shout out Tommy Ratcliffe. Sorry, bruv. I don't think I can talk about that to be honest. We literally haven't talked about this, have we? We put our foot off the gas, didn't we? Look what happens. That's crazy to think. That's pretty crazy to think. We're sitting 12th though and we're pretty healthy. They're looking shit. They've lost me a couple of maltys. Hey, Canada. Hey, it's my good eye. How good are you going? We missed him. We missed him. Yeah, great. Down in Lonnie. What a place. What an absolute hole of a place. We could knock them off, couldn't we? We're pretty good in Lonnie, to be fair. We lost Adelaide last year there, which was heartbreaking. I fucking hate the Crows. But hey, yeah, we did, didn't we? Absolute grubs. They are, aren't they? Guinea. Jack Ginniford's been my absolute favourite player. I can promise you that other Hawke supporters are going to be the same. Shout out to Tommy Studley, who also had a bit of a gripe during the week. Talked about Essendon supporters. In particular, Ethan Steele. Big bopper. Big bopper. We're going to get you on, Russ, and talk about this, because this is a disgrace. Yeah, shout out to Tommy Studley. Yeah, are we happy with the Hawke stuff? Are we happy with that? Yeah. Yeah, I'm with ya. I'm with ya. I'm with ya. Exciting, eh? Wow. Speaking of heartbreaks. Speaking of heartbreaks. The fucking Origin, Wednesday night. You're a new set of Welshmen now. You're one of us. Now you are. You're one of us. Every time we think we have a chance, Queensland just keep fucking producing five once-in-a-generation players. After Kim Smith and JT and Cooper Cronk, fuck, Billy Slater, you can just name the whole team. After that, we're done. We're like, oh, fuck, yeah, how good's this? We're going to finally have a bit of a run. That went well, didn't it? Joseph Suali. How good was that? Mate. You can jam that right up your ass. And a grub. Oh, totally agree. And probably would have still been knocked out. It was pretty devastating, wasn't it? It was pretty devastating, wasn't it? At the G. Tickets were $150 down the aisles. I had a little dabble. Yeah, I was thinking about it. I'm still thinking about it, to be fair, but it makes it hard now that we lost game one. But anyway, moving on. Yeah, tell yourself. We're just going to talk about Clarence and Lord of the Isle games, to be fair, because I don't know about you, but I don't give a fuck about the other teams. Nah. Like we said before, we've got a few mates. Well, we're actually ex-Clarence players, aren't we? Somehow. Somehow. Two games or whatever. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Nah, we've got a couple of mates. Big lucky ball boom. Oh, ball boom. Yeah, the Roo boys are playing Kingborough this week at Blunny. Big game. Big game. Oh, I hate Kingborough. Tricky that footy. Nah, I don't like that. Yeah. They've been good, haven't they? Yeah, they did, yeah. Grubs. Fuck grubs. Yeah. Nah. Hopefully it's a draw, to be honest. I'd rush rather. I'll go for it. I'll go for the Alpires, I reckon. In a better game, Lord of the Isle vs Blunny. Shout out big Maxi Skelly last week. His first senior goal. If you haven't seen it, go on YouTube and he did the old CJ and Guinea celebration with Bruma, which was awesome. Yeah, the boys should absolutely fucking smack the boys from Blunny. They're pissing it in. They smacked the piss out of everyone, didn't they? Yeah, it's good. For those that don't know, I played a season at Lord of the Isle. Well, not really a season. I fucking played three games again. Yeah, real good, haven't I? Love footy, if you can't tell. But nah, I'm a real group of boys down there. Big Craig Blash kicked three last week, I reckon. Nah, he played earlier this year. But shout out Blash. Blosh the boss. Nah, they've got a couple of good players, don't they? A couple of ex-AFL players. And big bopper, big Ethan Steele. I'm hanging out for his seniors debut. Oh mate, I'm keen to get him on. He's going to be a future guest, hopefully, if he reaches out. And lastly on the sports, a bit of NRL for you. West Targets play tonight, eight o'clock. Probably going to get yabby pumped. They suck, mate. They're my team. But they suck, don't they? Anyway, second one already. Oh, how nice does this end? It's just easy. Vod Karan, if you want to... Yeah, don't be afraid to sponsor us either, if he knows. I went the West Targets St George game tonight. I went Jereme Buller from the Tigs, end-time scorer, and big Zach Lomax, who dominated the Origin the other night, as an end-time trial scorer. And I went the Unders, which is 45.5. I don't think Togas will score a point, to be fair. Unfortunately. I'm going to be barracking hard for him, but I'm not expecting much. That's about a 14.25. So I have a couple of bucks on that. Probably won't get up, knowing me, but give it a crack, eh? Oh, mate. I'm fucking hopeless. I am hopeless. I couldn't tip water out of a bucket. That's how bad I am. Seriously. So, what have you got for us, Ken Boss? Yeah. Give us it. And if I could get that too. You grump. Lock. Lock it in, Russ. Fuck it, he's so underrated too. Thoughts on Rory Lobb? Have you seen his TikTok and shit? Mate, it's just embarrassing. Like, grow up, mate. He's talking about all this shit that he's playing VFL and stuff, and playing golf and stuff. Like, grow up. Just fucking stop dying your hair, Russ. Yeah, he's playing a lot this year. Yep. Oh, I think that was fair. Yep. I was thinking that they were going to get him off just because he's highly ranked, but I was real happy that they didn't. How good is he going to be? When he first... Oh, this year, I mean. Yeah. This year, Brownlow. Like, literally. Fuck the Rising Star. I was just going to win the fucking Brownlow. Yeah, he's exceeded so many of my thoughts on him. I thought he was an absolute dog when he first started. Just all that media attention as an 18-year-old, but he's handled it pretty well. Oh, 100%. W.I. What a plice. There you go. Yeah. He gets up there, doesn't he? He's going well. Send your big wins in. Send your losses in, too. We love listening to you. It'd make me feel better, to be fair. Just know that we've got a couple of other people. Or you only get up one leg. Just send them in. Both. Both. Favourite beer is going to be Bogue St George, I reckon. I absolutely love it. In a scooter. In a scooter. No, fuck that, mate. I've got another word for it, but I'm not going to say it. No. Yeah, favourite beer is going to be St George, down Tassie. Like, I love a Great Northern out of a can. Now that I've discovered the Bogan scooter, where you punch a hole in the top, mate, it slides down the gollop. Yeah. Shout out, Alphabokes. Yeah, St George. It's hard to go past ginger beer. James Squire. James Squire. Like, we've talked about this. They give you a headache, though, eh? But it tastes good, eh? You can't stop yourself. So, what's your go-to? Don't you dare say Bolter. Oh, here we go. Yeah. Can I just butt in there? I've got a story about Stonewood. So, I would have been about 18 or 19, and it was the first night I got in the piss with the Cricket Boys. Shout out, Mike Jones. What a great guy. He's on his honeymoon at the moment. Didn't invite me to his wedding, but we look past that now. That's alright. I thought we were a bit close to Mike, but we'll look past that. Anyway, yeah, we got on the piss, and he bought me Stonewood. A big fucking pint of it. And I was thinking, I can't drink this shit. Like, I hate craft beer. For anyone that knows me, I hate craft beer. Love a lager or an ale, but I hate craft beer. So, I bit my tongue, and straight down the throat it went. And after two, I thought, you know what? It's not the worst. It's not the worst. So, six pints later, we're in North Hobart somewhere. I can't remember. Out to work. The old Salamanca Fresh the next morning. The old Manco. That's coming up in a couple of episodes, I reckon. And yeah, I started at 6.30. It would have been 8 o'clock, I reckon. Rushed to the toilet, fucking chunnied up my absolute guts. And the old boss came in. Shout out Corey. What a legend he was. He came in, and he knew exactly what was going on. He said, Russ, do you need to go home? And I was like, nah, I'll be right. I've got it all out of my system now. So, nah, Stonewood. Shit house, mate. Thanks, Mike. Good on you, mate. Just ruined a beer for me. Anyway, what was the other? Yep. Really? Shit. That's huge. Hasn't taken long. What was it? Beer and a half. Beer and a half in. Jesus. It's the Squire. It has to be the Squire. We do love a hard solo, to be fair, but there's more for them. Yep. Brookvale, speaking of. Feel free to sponsor us. Absolutely. We'd love it. We'd love a couple of free beers, wouldn't we? Shout out every episode. I was always a movie man growing up. Yep. Always a movie man. Still am, but lately I've been getting into TV shows. Well, when I mean lately, like the last couple of years. Love a good TV show. I'm watching The Big Bang Theory at the moment. Classic. Yeah, probably TV shows, I reckon. Nah, nah, nah. Not yet. Not yet. I'm a massive office man. Love the office. You've got to have a dabble. You've got to have a dabble. Yeah, probably that or Brooklyn Nine-Nine or Friends. Love a good sitcom. Love a good sitcom. They're just easy, aren't they? And what's your guy say? Are you a TV man? I am. Always have been. We do love a Disney movie, don't we? Oh, mate. Oh, mate. What's your favourite movie then? Alright, tell me a show. What's your favourite show? Yep. Yep. Yeah, yep, yep. Harpy Spectre, eh? What a weapon. He is, speaking of alpha blokes, he is up there with the prime of male physiqueness and just everything about being a male. You actually can't get much better than that, can you? He's got money. He's got suits. What else could you want? That actually leads us on to our next little question. What's your celebrity crush? We both got the same one. Anna De Arvis. Jesus. She's prime. Who was it growing up? Oh, you didn't really have one? Yeah, right. What show was she on? She was on that Victorious show, wasn't she? Oh, I love that. I'll tell you why. Yeah, Anna De Arvis. I had a... Yeah, I did actually. Nah, I'm not going to say questionable, but it's just off the show. I'm going to go Princess Kate. Princess Kate Middleton. She was elite, mate. Nah, like when she was... Like when they got married. When the old royal wedding. That was the best day ever. Old Prince William. Yeah, that was... He's doing alright for himself, the old boy. Looks like old Jeff, doesn't he? Nah, fuck him. That's a good one. God, I love sushi. But like the real Australian sushi. So no fish, just all chicken, eh? I love rice. I really love rice. So I'm going to have to go. Dad cooks this unbelievable thing called Balinese rice. Couldn't tell you what's in it. He just cooks it up and I eat it and it fucking tastes good. It tastes real good. Yeah, just buy him some rice and he'll be like, yeah, I'm cooking you that rice. What's your go-to? Locked him in. Yeah, that's it. Nah, true. That, yeah. You can't beat Gallipri. Oh, this is... Yeah. Oh, we actually don't give a fuck if you don't follow us. Oh, fuck me. It's a party. No, we could talk about this for fucking hours. The old beanpole. He's hit the nail on the head, as Mike says. Yeah. Where the sun don't shine. Where the sun don't shine. Nah, nah, good work. Happy with that. Last little segment to finish off with. Have you got a joke of the day for us? Have ya? This is going to be a weekly sort of occurrence and we're going to ask guests and that stuff about them. So, again, if you have any jokes, please send them in because we'd love to shout you out or we'd love to tell it for you. So, have you got one for us? Who was that? Oh, no. Jesus Christ. Please don't get us cancelled. Oh, I don't know if it's as good as that, but yeah. I found this the other day. When I say that when you shag, you burn off as many calories as running 8 kilometres. But I thought, like, who the fuck runs 8 kilometres in 30 seconds? Jesus Christ. Now, on that note, I reckon that polishes off the episode for us. Well done, first of all. Well done, if you made it this far. Christ. If you want to. If it's not your cup of tea, you can piss off. Stay loose. That's it. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.