podcast

I have to, like, figure out, like, an intro, I don't know, like, how to do an intro, like, I have to, like, figure out, like, an intro, well, I guess, like, I can figure it out, just, like, that's, like, Hello, everybody. No. Okay, so it is the first official. Okay, so it is the first official. So today is the first official episode of Talk Your Shit. I'm so excited, we have a guest, she's not going to be on camera, but, because I don't have a mic, but, her name's Lexi, she was in the promo for it, but I'm super excited. Today's episode is, like, going to be a little bit different from all the other ones, because, like, all the other ones aren't necessarily going to have, like, topics that we're going to go by, it's just going to kind of be, like, on the whim, whatever, but I felt like this episode was important, because a lot of people have asked me a lot of questions about, like, what's the podcast going to be about, Also, a couple things are missing, because Amazon is having a... Hey, everybody. Okay, so today is the very first episode of Talk Your Shit, the podcast. I'm super excited, I'm a little bit nervous, it's kind of awkward, but I am just super excited, and, as you guys can see, the wall's blank, and I do have artwork on order, but, for some reason, I ordered it off this website, it's taking forever for it to get here, and I didn't have any other time to film, and then, also, the mics that I'm going to be officially using aren't here yet, because, same website, same problems, and, yeah, but I'm super excited. I thought today's episode was going to be a little bit different than all the other episodes are going to be, because I just kind of want this episode to be, like, about explaining the process, and explaining what the podcast is about, and, like, what to expect, because I feel like that's kind of important for you guys to know. So, basically, the whole point of this podcast is to just, like, have a very safe space for me to, like, vent, or get stuff off of my chest that I can't really in any other environment, or just kind of, I don't know, just, like, have fun. I also, like, really want to, like, cover mental health, because, like, that's something that I feel like is just relatable to everybody, and, also, I want to cover, um, I want to cover, like, mental health, but I also want to cover, um, like, faith, because I'm religious, and, um, I also want to just do, like, pop culture, and, um, what's going on on the internet, and in the social media world. Um, oh, God, I think that thing is on, but it's okay, I can't, um, yeah, do you want to? Okay. Um, the one thing that I feel like I really want to accomplish and convey with this whole podcast is just, like, regardless of, like, what people say, or what people do, or what people think about you, or, like, just anything, it really is not going to affect your life, and to just, like, literally live your true, authentic, fun, happy life, I just feel like that's so important to be happy. Um, the biggest misconception, um, I think the biggest misconception that people have about me, or whatever, is definitely that I, um, am a bitch. Because, okay, listen, I don't think that I'm a bitch, I just think that I have my guard up a lot of the time, and to new people who don't know me, or like know my personality, who think that I'm a bitch, I'm definitely not super friendly, and I don't claim to be, but I just am more reserved because of the stuff that I've gone through, like, with bullying and stuff, so I feel like I have, like, my guard up at all times. But I don't think that, like, makes me a bitch, if that makes any sense. Ask me? Um, I don't care. Okay, kind of fun, right? Um, I think I'm actually doing pretty good. Like, seriously, I think that I feel, like, really accomplished, and I feel excited, and I feel like things are going in the right direction, and I feel like my soul is kicking in at full force. I feel, I feel pretty good. Something that I expected? Um, something that I expected was that I would, like, be doing mentally better because I'm on 100mg of the block, but also because, like, I made it, like, a mental note to, like, in 2024 to really actually get a grip on, like, my anxiety, and I don't really struggle with depression, like, it's never, like, really been a thing that I've dealt with, but, um, anxiety for sure, so I think that I, like, made it a mental note this year to, like, really work on it. Um, well, I guess, just, what's been on my mind recently? Well, okay, so, something that happened recently that I feel like is a good segue is, like, I was at Value City, and this was Value City Furniture because I was looking for furniture for the podcast, which you guys will see more of when everything's done, um, I had, I was at Value City because I was trying to find furniture, and, um, I was just living my best life, walking around or whatever, and, like, people stare at me, people, like, whatever, and it doesn't ever usually, like, really bother me, but I was looking at this, like, I can't remember, it doesn't matter, but I was looking at something in the store, and I looked, and there was a man, um, an employee, staring at me, and was like, did you see his nails? And mind you, like, at that time, my nails weren't that crazy, because, like, now, they're, like, long-ass stiletto hot red, like, that would have made more sense to me. But then they were just, like, white, French-shaped, I don't know, but I guess it was just the whole thing that I had nails, and I just, I left and went to Raising Cane's, and then I came back, and I, like, pulled them off, because I was, like, I just feel like, like, when it comes to, like, what's been on my mind, I just feel like it's just been, like, I just have had this, like, weird, not weird, but, like, this different thought process of how people perceive me, and it's just, like, that's just never, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I don't know, it's just, like, I I love movies. I'm a big movie person. I do love movies. Scary movies. Yeah. Um, hmm. The most, the most influence, I'd probably say, my, my mom. Because I go to my mom for everything, and I feel like, I feel like she, I feel like that has an impact because I feel like the biggest impact has definitely been my mom, because I feel like you go to your parents for everything, and they're always there, and watching her be so independent in her life, like, in my life, and watching her get through everything she's had to go through is, like, really, like, impactful. What's the next one? Um, I see myself in a relationship, um, moved out, um, a little more independent than I am now, um, and in the career that I want to be in, and, like, I see this podcast being, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it Okay, so that's the two part. I feel like, what I've learned about myself is that, like, in so many different aspects, like, whatever you put your mind to, you can achieve it, but I feel like that means so many different things, because, like, I put my mind to, like, getting this room done, and to, like, start this podcast, and to, like, do all of that, and, like, I feel like that means so many different things, because, like, I put my mind to, like, getting this room done, and to, like, start this podcast, and to, like, do all of that, and, like, I feel like that means so many different things, because, like, I put my mind to, like, getting this room done, and to, like, start this podcast, and to, like, do all of that, and, like, I feel like that means so many different things, because, like, I put my mind to, like, getting this room done, and to, like, start this podcast, and to, like, do all of that, and I did all of it, and then I also feel like that can mean, like, mentally, whatever you put your mind to, like, I wanted to mentally fix where I was, and I feel like I did that. I feel like that's always, like, a dream, like, I don't feel like it's always going to be peaches and cream, and, like, perfect, but I do feel like that's what I've learned about myself, and in relationships, I feel like, um, I feel like that's what I've learned about myself, and in relationships, I feel like that's what I've learned about myself, and in relationships, I feel like that's what I've learned about myself, and in relationships, I feel like that's what I've learned about myself, and in relationships, I feel like that's what I've learned about myself, and in relationships, I feel like that's what I've learned about myself Um, I'm just not looking for one right now, which is crazy, I'm just not, like, I just, I, like, deleted all the apps, like, I'm just, like, I don't, I just, mm-mm, I don't want to do it, I don't care, like, I want to focus on me, like, if one comes along, great, but I'm just, like, not searching for it at the moment. I'm sorry. Are you sure it doesn't say angel? A dolphin? I don't know why, I love the water, though, like, I love the water, I love being in the water, I love everything about the water. About me? One idea that people get wrong about me. Yeah. Um, okay, so if I'm working, I get up like 30 minutes before I have to be there, and I get in the bath, and I brush my teeth, and put on my clothes, and get to work. Very simple, if I'm off, I get up, get in the bath, and get ready, and just, like, do whatever I want to do. Night. Night, like, two summers ago, me and my ex-friend Lexi, no, I'm just kidding, me and my friend Lexi, who's always been here with me, but we would get up to, like, 6am, so I definitely would say I'm a night owl, I'm not a morning person, at all, in whatever way, uh-uh, mm-mm, not at all. Probably, this is gonna sound crazy, because this hasn't gone anywhere, but I really feel like, I am so proud of this, just, like, because I've worked so hard, like, when that comes, like, from, like, the video, I've worked so hard on everything, like, the promo vid, video, and, um, the room, and, like, just everything I feel like I've worked so, so, so, so, so hard on, so that's why I'm proud of it. Um, hey, Connor, guys, like, I actually, like, I, like, I, like, can't explain the obsession that I have for him, it's, it's, borderline unhealthy, like, when I tell you I have a crush on him, I'm not just saying, like, I like him, no, no, like, I actually have a serious crush on this poor boy. He doesn't even know anything about me, so, that's my celebrity crush, Connor. None. I don't have any couples around me that are, like, like, in my personal life, that are, like, super wonderful, like, my mom and her, like, fiance are, like, really happy, and really good, so I feel like I look up to, I don't, but I don't look up to them, like, while, like, I'm not in a relationship, so, I don't know, not really anybody. Famous? Let me make a challenge by dinner. They're just so cute, I don't, like, look up to them, but they're just really cute together, but, I don't know, I don't, like, I don't know, I don't really think, ever think about that. I don't really know if I have one. Yeah, probably, yeah, probably quality time, not physical touch, it's definitely not my love language. Yeah, probably quality time. Yeah, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, extra service for sure. I think I will get married, and I think it'll be, how old am I now, 20, so, probably by 30, I'll be, like, married, married, yeah. Like, like, friendship? I feel like open communication is so, like, it's just so important, I feel like if something's, like, pissing you off or making you uncomfortable or irritating you, like, you have to talk about it, and you have to, you have to have a conversation about it, because it's just, that's so important. And, yeah, I feel like that's the main one for me, is, you know. Yeah. Um, I think it means, I don't really know what that question is at, like, what do I think the words mental health mean, or, like, like, how's it affected me? Well, I have severe, well, I have severe debilitating anxiety. Um, I still have anxiety, but it's much more livable, manageable, and I think that it's so important to get that under check, because it will ruin your life if you let it, and it will put a halt on things that you're doing, and you have to get that controlled. Um, Zoloft, and doing what I want to do, like, finding joy in little things, too, like, I get, like, excited, like, I'm gonna go buy a Balenciaga bag to, like, lay on the couch and watch TV, so, like, I love being, yeah. Jesus. That. Um, I, I don't even know, like, that's, that's a lot. I, I mean, like, be yourself, I guess, but that's, like, cliche, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. Heartstopper. Um. Love you. So, yeah. Ariana Grande. For sure. I've been to every single one of her tours, and I will continue that trend. Pizza. I could eat pizza morning, night, dinner, breakfast, lunch. I'm sorry? Tonight? Totally. Yeah. Um. A big, rubber, cockalingus. I don't even know what a cockalingus is. Probably not okay. Yeah, great. Mm-hmm. Um. Probably my friends. Because for so long, I had people around me that I felt, like, just, like, I think after the, like, filming that video that we did, and, like, everybody showing up, and, like, everybody supporting me, and, like, just with, like, doing the room, and, like, everything, I feel like I'm so grateful for the people that I have in my life, because I finally feel like I can depend on all of them, and, like, before, I wouldn't get any help with the stuff that I was trying to do. So, yeah. Board games. I don't play board games, really. But we're going to, I'm going to start, I'm going to tell a story about, because I mean, if I'm going to, I mean, I could keep going, but I'm done. Um. The day that we filmed that video, actually, I'm going to tell you a story about that, too. I'm going to tell a story of the, the whole concept of it. Like. So, I, okay, because a lot of people ask me this, and I'm actually not just saying that because I think a lot of people do. I started thinking about doing a podcast, like, I had one, like, two years ago, and it was called The Lazy Sunday, whatever, um, and that's when I was just trying to do anything. Like, I was just trying to do something. And, so I stopped doing that, and then, like, six months ago, I was like, or maybe even years ago, I don't even know, but I was like, you know what, I kind of want to start a podcast again, and, but I was like, if I do it this time, I want to, like, fully do it, and fully get everything that I want, and get all the equipment, and get a room, and whatever, and have, like, a set up. So, like, I have my invite in, so you can probably hear this. But, um, so I, um, started thinking about it, and originally I think it was going to be called, like, Let's Be Real. And then, that was the whole, like, theme of the podcast, was Let's Be Real, and then I was driving one day, and for some reason, Fuck or Shit just came up, and, like, literally ever since I've thought about Fuck or Shit, it all just happened. Like, um, the whole concept for the video, and, like, originally the video was going to be shot at, like, an apartment building, and I was going to be buzzing in and doing Fuck or Shit, and I was like, Lexi, um, that idea just, like, didn't end up really, like, making sense, and then we did it at the salon. That was my aunt's salon, and it was so much fun that day, and I had, like, all the people that were so important to me, because I wanted to, so the whole concept of the video is, like, people talking about you, and saying things about you, but, like, you continuously still live in your best life, and, um, but then I kind of also wanted to do it, like, the people that mean the most to me, well, I wanted to kind of play it like I've had people, not now, but I've had people in my life previously who would, to me, support me, but then behind my back talk about me, or, like, make comments about me, so I kind of wanted to end that, and, like, show that that's the thing that happens, and that's, and I also wanted to be, like, super glam, and, like, super gay, and super, like, drama, and, oh, battery died. Woo! No, but, that's my own bad. It was my particular organization that died, but... Okay, so I feel like that's fine for the first episode, right? Okay.