Nancy body podcast

Nancy Abercrombie, known as DamselNinjaNancy, is a safety educator with a focus on eviction prevention and abduction prevention. She emphasizes the importance of personal safety and carrying self-defense tools like stun guns and pens with steel tips. She encourages people to trust their intuition and always be prepared. She also highlights the need to be aware of laws regarding carrying self-defense tools when traveling. Hi Nancy, thank you so much for joining me today. For people that don't know who you are, why don't you tell them a little bit about who you are? Well, my name is Nancy Abercrombie. I am so honored, Tara, that you would have me on your channel. I am so excited about being here. I am known in the world, business world, as DamselNinjaNancy. I have been a safety educator for 10 years, but my emphasis is in eviction prevention. I actually got to meet you at a crime event, and those are my people, because they understand the need for protection, but that's really how I got into the abduction prevention part. I can't stand the thought of missing people. My heart hurts for them. We get to meet them at CrimeCon, a lot of their families, and I wish that I had a magic wand that I could just wave over them and they could know what's happened to their loved one. And my husband and I are on a search team. I just can't stand that thought, so that's why my emphasis is in abduction prevention. Thank you so much for sharing that, and I'm so happy that you do that, because that's so important. And I love how we met at True Crime and Paranormal Festival. It was funny, because Lainey actually put you on the other side of me so that I wouldn't hear the tasers go off. I told Lainey later, and I told you, I was like, no, those don't bother me if someone is like a loud punch or like a drop or like a, sounds like a gunshot that's different than tasers. Yeah, well, I actually use stun guns. So tasers don't necessarily make that sound. Okay. But the stun gun sound, I always tell people, that's your first line of defense. Yeah. That's what you want is that sound. I love that, yeah, because I was so scared I was going to traumatize you. I remember I walked up and said, please tell me, and you looked at me like I was crazy. And you were like, I want to touch them. I want to play with them. You know, and I'm sorry if I said tasers. I just, I can call everything a taser. You know. It's Hollywood, everybody does it. Everybody does it. You know, the bear mace, that's a taser. You know what, I don't care what you call it as long as you carry it. Yes, yes. I have so many little ones just around the house, but I love yours. And especially, there were so many different safety features on each one of them. I left it in the car. No way. Because I always carry it with me. That's perfect. Yeah. And then you don't like bring out your full-on kit everywhere, you know? No, I, you know what, it depends on where I'm going, what I'm going to do, what I'm carrying. So, I am a merchandiser, so I go into Walmart and Kroger's and Albertsons and places like that. But the number one place where people are abducted or assaulted is a grocery store parking lot. Okay. Which is crazy. I mean, you think about it, that's where people go all the time. But that's why. People go there all the time, they're not paying attention. They park in the same area of the parking lot because when you come out, how many times have you thought, where's my car? You know, I don't even know where my car is. You know, so I love that people are paying more attention to where they're parking. They are paying attention to being out there, but I want to carry my stun device with me all the time. And one of the reasons is as we get older, we don't, your body turns on you, Tara. Wait, your time's coming. I already know. Nobody really tells you that, but I can't see in a parking lot anymore. And one of the reasons is, is because there's not enough light out there. You know, at 61, I don't see as well as I used to. So I carry mine a lot for the flashlight. You can see how bright that is. And that's okay to have a flashlight in your hand. Now you can see where you're going. I also don't feel my right foot. So if I step on something, I may fall over because I can't right myself like other people do because I don't even know I've stepped on something. Yeah. So at 61, I feel like I am more of a, probably a target than I have ever been. Okay. You know, they're looking at me as, oh look, she's older. She probably is not gonna expect me to come at her. She's definitely not gonna be able to fight back because I can physically overtake her. Remember, you're people who, and Tara, who knows this better than you? The person who's coming after you thinks that they can physically overtake you. Oh yeah. Fight back because your life is worth the fight. When you fight back, it puts them in a situation that they did not know that they were gonna be in. Yeah, because they expect us to go to the freeze mode, right? Absolutely, absolutely. And a lot of people do. And so that's why you should always have layers of pieces. So on the stun device, what I like is that sound. It's like Disneyland. So I like the sound. Now, I live in Texas, and we can pretty much carry anything, but I do know anywhere you can threaten somebody with your stun gun, where I can't, I can feel carry or anything until they have threatened me. Okay. But if I feel uncomfortable, let's say I'm walking out to the parking lot, and I want your listeners to really, and you're gonna hear this, I'm gonna say, I want your listeners to really, and your watchers to really understand, your intuition's there for a reason. It is there to protect you, and you should always listen to it, because it's always gonna be right. Your intuition's never gonna let you down. It is legal for you to, no, stay away from me, and make that noise to them so that they know they have to get away. You're gonna fight back. A lot of times, that's gonna be them being, she's gonna be too much trouble. So you may not even see what's going on, but you can set that off, and I like that. And that would've been great if I had a stun gun to just stun John, so I wouldn't have to take his, well, I didn't take his knife, he dropped it, I kicked it out of his hand, but it would've been great to have that so he didn't have to get bloody, in a sense. Well, I think he might've stopped and thought. He thought you were gonna be easy. He thought he knew you well enough to think that you weren't gonna fight with him back, that he was gonna have that element of surprise, and you were smart in the fact that you knew that this could happen. You were already planning in your head, if he shows up, I'm gonna fight. Yeah, well, I first tried to flee first, because that's what I recommend anyone to try to do. Run away, run to help. But you can't do that when you're not able to detach from it, so I really like what you have, and then you even told me about this pen that you guys have for signing autographs. Oh, yes! I love that pen. Okay, so now it's changed a little. Now it has, on the end of it, and I don't have one right here handy, but on the end of it, it has a little steel tip. Okay. And the reason that is now is so that you can break a window. God bless. So I want you guys to understand, too, like with Kubitons, and we call them socket slims, you can't break a window with that, because they're made out of aluminum. Now, aluminum is not gonna break, bend, or crack, but it won't break your tempered glass. So I love ours. It's a pen, you can write with it, but it has that little steel tip on it, and so you can hit a glass, and it'll break the glass. Now, the other point I like about this, and some of your listeners are probably gonna go, what's wrong with her? It's really sharp, and if you hit somebody and hit it, it's gonna be like hitting them. It's gonna cut their skin. Okay. So I always tell people, if that happens, you're gonna get a little bit of their DNA in that pen. Yes. And that's okay, because you may have to give that pen up to the cops so that they can get that out. I have a guarantee on everything that I sell. If you use it, and the bad guy takes it from you, or the police keep it, put it in a police report, get me a copy, I'll replace it for free. Dance is the only company I know that goes to that extent. Yeah. No, I really like your company, and well, not like your company, but you know. Yeah, but my company. Yeah, like your company, but I think that it's really great because you have that guarantee on it, and you took the time to show me how to use everything, and it got me so excited, and I was able to even test the stun gun, my, you know, zap it. Yeah, and that's really important, too, because when you go to buy, and I want everyone to understand and stop and think, your safety is your responsibility. It is not anyone else's. I hear all the time, I'd never go anywhere without my husband. Well, that's a kind of different kind of abuse we need to talk about. Oh, yeah. But, you know, are I never going anywhere alone, or, you know, I live in a safe neighborhood, and my response to that is, is that on Earth? Is it? But your safety is your responsibility, so in Texas, they're big on their lethal weapons, and I love Roger, I named mine, his name is Roger. Okay. And I love him, but it's not the only thing that I can carry, and so there are places that you can't go with certain things, and you need to know what your laws are, because it's just as easy to follow the law and have something that you can take with you than to use something that is not lawful and then get yourself in trouble later on the back end. Yeah. You know, so I always tell people, layer your protection, because no matter where you go, we have whistles, we have alarms that you can take on a plane, on a cruise ship. If I go overseas, I can't have my stun device or my pepper spray, in a lot of countries, it's not legal. Yeah. In a lot of places, you have to really watch what you're carrying, so it's always, it's easier to be legal than not, you know? Yeah. When you are traveling, how do you look up those laws to make sure that you can take it with you or not take it with you? Well, if you're going anywhere in America, the 50 states, you can go to my website at the very bottom, it says state restrictions, and it'll tell you what is restricted, where you're going. But if you're going overseas, I just, like I'm gonna be going to Mexico, I earned our incentive trip, and so I'm going to Mexico with my husband, so I will look up what can I carry or is stun devices legal in Mexico, or are pepper sprays, I already know they're not. So I know then I need to take my whistles that are my necklaces, I'm gonna take my alarms, you know, I'm gonna take those pieces that I know that are legal, I've already looked that up. But it's very easy to look it up, just Google. Google can be your friend. Okay. At any age, so. You like a good Google? Yeah, you know, but if you are traveling, look at those, like we have a lockdown that you can use in a hotel room, on the hotel door. I always take it. I like, I travel a lot with Danzel, and a lot of times I'm by myself, and I love a good Airbnb. One, I love to support the person who's working to make a living, and two, I'm really nosy, and I really love people's houses and see how they decorate and what they do, and I love to have the conversation with the host, you know, I'm that person who stays with them. Also, at the same time, you still have to be careful of yourself, because you are staying in a place that you've never stayed before, or sometimes it's different, but always take something that you can lock the door with. I always tell them before I get there, I sell protections, so I'm gonna have my stun gun in my room with me, my pepper spray, is that okay with you? I always ask permission, and then that kind of tells them, hey, this is somebody who knows about safety, and who is aware of their safety. That can be a red flag for them, too. If they're up to no good, they're probably not gonna want you to stay with them. 100%, they're a bad person, they're not gonna want you to have those things, so they're gonna be like, hey, no, you can't bring that, so that's good that you ask that, and you make sure that they know that your safety is a priority. Yeah, plus my car says Danzel Ninja Nancy all over it, too, so they'll figure it out. Right, and you might make some sales, you never know. Well, and I have before, because there are some women out there who they have a big house, and they're an empty nester, and they want to make a little bit of extra money, it's a great way to meet people. The other thing with some of our, we have two, three stun devices that if you put it around your wrist, if they take it away from you, it disengages and they can't use it back on you. Yeah, and if you're on the Patreon or the YouTube, you can see this. Yeah, and then there's two of them that don't have that disabled pin, but they are just as useful as the other one. So if anyone wants more information, Tara, all they have to do is email me, text me, my phone number's on my website, let me know how I can help them, because I don't want them to buy something from me and not really understand what they're getting. Yeah. You know, that's the most important part of a safety educator, is to make sure that when you get your protection, it is the best thing for you, you know? Yeah, no, I love asking you all these questions, because I was genuinely interested in the products and what you were doing. I had to ask you so many things. I was like, what's this? I love that. What's this about? Something we've talked about, too, at one of the conventions is the door for traveling, that little lock that goes on. We were talking about it, how my sister travels with her daughter for volleyball, and those people can even be targeted as well, right? Oh, absolutely, absolutely. Our young generation, our young women, we really have to talk to them differently than how we've ever had to talk to our young women before. There's more red flags that they have to look for, especially when they get up to where they're driving and they're out getting a job. I mean, we have to allow them to be free and spread their wings and find out who they are, but we still want them to be safe as they're doing that. We have several pieces, too, that I suggest at that age, especially if they're a traveling volleyball or basketball athlete. We have a brush that's round, that the end of it comes off, at the end of it comes off, and you can store either one pepper spray, or it will store their money if they're going on a trip. Nobody's gonna look in their brush. Yeah. You know, hide hair in the brush. My favorite piece is the, we call this the Hear Me Out, and it is my number one piece right now for girls and boys that are, or young men, who are getting jobs, having their first car. So what it is is we have an app that you can download for free. There is no subscription and no hidden cost in this app. It's called Shield Community by Danville & Defense. You download the app, and then you can put in the app five superheroes. I call these your Flat Tire Five. So if you got a flat tire at 3 a.m., one, who could you call that would answer the phone? Yeah. And two, who would come and get you? Those are who you put in as your contacts. Now, if, let's say you're out and about, and God forbid you ever get in a situation that you have to hide, and you can't call out or you can't run. You always wanna run first. If you can get away, that's the first thing I tell people. Get away, get out of the situation. But if you can't, then we have, on the back, there is this button that you can push. Okay. Now, my husband's getting a text message that says, I'm in a situation, and it GPSes my location to him. And it keeps going off every minute as long as I'm within 300 feet of my phone. And it doesn't stop going off until I go into the app and hit I'm safe now. I put in, when I do that, it will ask me for my code. So I put in my code, and it will stop sending him messages. If I'm still in trouble, and the situation is the assaulter wants me to put in a code, I put in the wrong code. And it will still send the message to him. Now, if you're out and about, and your teenager is in a situation, or your loved one, and they can pull, it's gonna make that sound. It's gonna bring attention to them. And one thing I want people to understand is if people think it's a domestic situation, a lot of times they're not gonna help. So don't yell fire or help. Yell stranger, and I don't know you. And then when you get attention from somebody, yell 911, 911, so that it makes people understand they need to call 911. A lot of times something can be going on, and people don't understand what they're seeing. They don't understand that this is not a situation where your teenage daughter's just being mean, and this man is her father, and he's just saying, you're gonna mind me. I mean, how many times have we seen that, and we're like, is that a situation? Is it not? And we really want our young people to be up, and really watching what's going on, really having that plan, having something that they know that they can reach out to somebody with. If they are being followed, because now they're at Walmart by themselves or something, they feel like they're being followed, they need to go to customer service. They need to stand with their backs to the wall so that they can see what's happening around them. They need to report what's happening, and they need to call one of their superheroes immediately. Now, usually the manager will call the police or something, but tell them do not leave and go to their car. If they feel uncomfortable, that's a reason. Your parents, your aunt, your grandmother are never gonna be mad because they had to come to Walmart to help you because you felt unsafe. Never gonna happen. No. Does this happen at a lot of Walmarts? And also, I heard Target, because one of my friends told me that she got followed in Target, and then someone came up to her and told her, hey, I don't want you to freak out, but this guy has been watching you and your kids. You need to call the police. I don't think it's Walmart and Target. I don't want to target them, because I love Walmart and Target. They both have them all the time. They have the best deals. But it's any place in public. Okay. Because now we have a lot more people that are being sex trafficked than ever before, and they're being watched. They're being targeted. One of the things, too, is when you walk to your car, if you have a four-door, especially as a teenage girl, walk to the other side first. Just kind of glance at your passenger's side, because they're taking a zip lock and putting it around the handle door on the back passenger. Now they have targeted you. Okay. Now, how many times do you walk out to the car and get in the car? Do you ever look at your passenger's side? I realized today, I left three stores, and on the way home after the third store, I thought, I did not look at my passenger door, not once. So when I got home, I looked at it. It was fine, you know? Okay. You need to kind of make sure, walk around. If somebody, they're leaving notes on your car doors now, don't keep those off. Because what they're doing is they're lacing them with, when you touch them, a drug that can help you pass out. Now you're in the car passed out, you know? Make sure you're locking the car once you get in, checking the back seat, you know, looking at the back seat as you get in. Lock the car immediately. Okay. And one of the biggest things is, and God bless moms, because it must be so hard to be a mom, because it is, it is. I have nieces, and I have a great niece that just now had a baby, and I love them, but I'm thinking, oh my gosh, if I'm this world, I can't imagine being a mother being worried. But one of the things that mothers want to do is that when their children leave work, they want to call and talk to them until they get in the car. Okay. Well, what are you doing? Distracting them. Exactly. Because now, the guy who's the bad guy, is looking and that girl's on the phone. He knows that girl is on the phone and not paying attention to what's going on around her. Okay. And there was a survey several years ago, and those were the girls that the bad guys were looking for, were the ones that were being distracted. And here's the other thing, is if something's happening to your daughter, if she is attacked, if she's grabbed in the parking lot, what are you gonna do? We don't have home phones anymore. If your husband's not there, if there's no one else at home, and you happen to be by yourself, or whatever, and you're talking to him, you're never going to sever that tie with your daughter by hanging up to call the police to tell them that this is happening. There's not very many mothers. I mean, think about, are you gonna do that? You know, so that's one of those things that I want people to be very careful and know about. Now, once they get in the car and they've locked the car, the window should be up. If someone knocks on the window, they do not answer it. Then you do not need to roll down your window to have somebody talk to you. Okay. If you are on the side of the road and you're waiting for your dad or whatever, you do not roll down your window. Even the police, you don't roll down the window. And when the police stop you, especially at night, you can turn on your hazards, call 911 and say, I'm being followed. Am I really being stopped by a policeman? Is this really a policeman? I'm on this road. I'm waiting to get to where there's light because there's not any place to pull over on this road that there's light. You're not gonna get in trouble for that. People think they're always gonna get in trouble because they didn't pull right over. No, do your hazards so that he knows that you've seen him. Yeah. Or call 911 and tell them where they are because they're gonna call and say, are you stopping? Are you in that area? Are you stopping this car? Well, she's on the phone. She's concerned. Yeah. Okay. I like these tips. Is there anything other to do with these safety objects? I know some people say that you have to have them in hand. Yes, absolutely. You wanna have them in hand or have them on a breakaway. This piece is the socket to me. This is instead of putting your keys in your hand, you're gonna put this in your hand, but you're always gonna have it on a breakaway so you can pull it off your keys or your fob because ours are a little sharper and I'll be really honest, if you hit it really hard and it stinks, you don't wanna have to say, can I get my keys back first? No. No, that's not what you want. You want it to be pulled away. Yes. And I actually have one of these in my shower too, Tara. Okay. Now this looks like for the people that are not on Patreon or YouTube, I wanna say like it looks like a little bit of a sexual object, but a lot thinner and Sharper. And sharper to stab someone with. If they go online and they look at Poubaton, they're gonna see one. Ours are made a little different because we as women, let's be realistic. Women don't always fight back. We don't know how, that's not our nature. We have to learn that. That's a learned behavior for us. So a lot of times what this does is it has handholds, finger holds, so when you put your hand in it, if it's perfect in your hand, now you're not gonna hurt yourself by fighting back. Yeah. And that's what that, and then the sharpness obviously is to do some, I don't wanna say damage, but we want you to have the advantage. Who cares about him? He's made his choice. You know, it's about you and getting away, getting to safety, being able to fight back because you're worth the fight. A lot of women will come to me and say, oh, nobody wants me now. It's, you know, I'm not, I'm too old. It's not about that. It's about the power that these scumballs feel when they are able to scare you. It's all about the endorphin rush. So I always tell people, don't be somebody's dopamine. I love that. You know, don't, don't, just don't. And it's okay to say, get away from me. Stay away from me. Because if you feel threatened, it's okay, you know, to watch out for yourself. When it comes to your safety, don't be nice. You don't have to be nice and polite. Yeah, plus politeness when it comes to that. Exactly. But I do think that you have to gauge where, my friend and I were at a concert and these two drunk guys were coming up to us. You know, that's not the best when you're all alone in the parking lot. You guys are the last ones, but they were drunk and they were kind of like just bobbing and weaving, but innocent in a sense. Could, you know, you could get them to escalate if you've responded a certain way. And I always tell people, put up your hand and say, no, that's far enough. I understand you've been drinking, but today is not the day. Yeah. Use the tone of voice that if you stole a car and your mother had to pick you up at the police station, she would use. Because that's an instant, oh. See, but this guy was like, why are you acting like that? And then my response was like, oh, the party's over there, you should go over there. And then he was drunken after he went over there. Very nice. And you do have to kind of gauge things. Most of the time, they're not gonna get, they're not gonna wanna know why you're being that way. Yeah. You know, and forgive me, but they're just gonna be thinking, gosh, she's a bitch and just walk away. Because they're looking for somebody who wants to have fun and party. Yeah. But you don't have to be that girl. And I always tell people, if they're cute at two o'clock, they're gonna be really handsome at 10 a.m. when you're having coffee the next day. Yeah. You know? Right? They were cute at two. Make a coffee date for 10. Yeah. You don't have to stick around. Yeah, well, I was just gonna say, not for like the plan B the next day. You know, make an appointment for yesterday, make a date for the next day. Yeah. You know, when you walk in and you see them and you think, oh, then you're having a meeting at 10.30 that you forgot about. Yes. Oh my gosh. Well, do you have any last minute safety tips for anyone out there? Yes. I wanna talk about, really quickly, I just learned this a few months ago. When you go to the ATM, if you have a fob, your car, usually when you put it into park, it unlocks the door so you can get out automatically. Right? It gets your car prepared for you. You can reprogram that. Okay. But when you put your car in park, immediately lock your doors again. Go to the ATM that's in the middle or go inside. If it's, you know, sometimes, don't ever go to the ATM in the middle of the night. You know, I don't know why people do that, but they do sometimes. I used to do it when I was in my 20s. I was a waitress and I would go right to the ATM and put my money in. Now I'm thinking. For me, it's always a bill that I'm forgetting about that I'm like, oh, see you the next day. It's 1 a.m. Okay, I'll go there. But I live in Irvine and it's a little different here. In a busier spot where L.A., well, and I'm always, who's watching me? Who are you? There was a guy and I was, I literally stared him down because I was like, well, why are you here? You know what? That's one of those things too, Tara. Use your face. Use your eyes. Use your, if they know that you see them, now you can describe them. Yeah. And a lot of times they don't like that. Oh, back to the ATM. So people, guys now are getting into the ATM. As you park there, getting money out and they're robbing you. So make sure that your doors are locked when you go to the ATM. But that's just sitting in a parking lot too. Don't ever just sit in a parking lot without locking your doors or whatever. But if you don't have anything with you too, make sure that you are handling yourself as someone who is not to be messed with. You're not on your phone walking out to the car. You're not drooping and walking because you've just had a bad day. You know, you're standing up straight. You're looking around. You're paying attention. I smile at people in the parking lot. At my age, I can get away with, oh, Chad. Somebody was coming at me. Chad, how's your family? He's gonna go, Chad, lady. Yes, you are. How is your mother? Now they know that I can identify them because they look so much like my friend, Chad. Oh. You know? So that's a way to kind of distance yourself too. But handle yourself like you're a baddie. Okay, I like that. I like that, the plug. Well, that's great. Well, we're gonna answer a few more questions for the Patreon after this. So stay tuned, guys, and join the Patreon. But where can we find you? Where can we find, get the poker that we talked about? Okay, you can find me on Instagram and Facebook at DanzelNinjaNancy. My website is DanzelNinjaNancy.com because I wanna bring out the inner ninja in all of us. Yes, I love it. Well, thank you so much, and stick around for the Patreon, guys.