pdc#3

Merry Christmas I have no idea Shaolin soccer. Yeah, that was a good one. I'll turn it down dude. I told you it's Mark Wahlberg Oh No, it's just a random guy named Mark Wahlberg Why'd you say like No, I crushed the joint with my asshole Nope, you said it. You'll never live it down Oh Shit what are you dropping? Stop dropping shit church your mom on my Yeah, we watched this show basically where couples are unfaithful I didn't know that killed you We're not going to have a relationship on this island. We love and care about each other as friends, as lovers. Way too much. I'm actually looking forward to meeting him, because I really don't think it's going to happen. Because I've seen the first episode, so I know what happens in this one. But it doesn't matter. Let me be the first to welcome you to Devastation Island. Everyone's just anxious. Let's see if the grass is really greener on the other side. If he cheats on me, then we're not going to stay together. It's do or die. We're either going to stay together or we're breaking up. It all begins. But now, you see the first line of 26 people. You're going to say they're unfaithful. Maybe his brother is a motivated monastic. From pedicures to manicures, he's got the whole team. I can't imagine what Edmundo's thinking. Edmundo, you can't handle your weed anymore. The fuck I can't, because I can outsmoke you today, tomorrow, and with one lung. Is that why 90% of the time you're passed out on my couch and I'm still smoking weed? Really? We already talked about that. That didn't happen a month ago. It doesn't happen anymore, buddy. I can still outsmoke you. Even passed out, I'd still outsmoke you. I would smoke while passed out. Uh-huh. Whatever helps you sleep at night. Oh, I figured out what fell. What? Look at the bucket. Your phone's in the bucket. I was asking in my phone. Why would he do that? Why would he do that? What'd he do? Your mom. You're 15 now. You're 15 now, isn't it? I'm sure it's not their 15th. But is that his girlfriend or is that not his girlfriend? I don't know. The world may never know. I'm not fully paying attention. I'm playing Baldur's Gate. When you realize that you don't need somebody in your life. I love D&D. Well, maybe you should marry a D&D. Yo. Who you making? We met three years ago, July 11th, at an adventure race. I was volunteering and I drew a ghost eraser. There he is! On the first sight. He's scared. That's fucking Mundo! Keep an eye on this guy. Keep an eye on him. Why do you have a heart on it for El Mundo? Keep an eye on him. I don't know what we can't do for three days. So, I don't know. It's scary to think that that could happen again. You know? Yeah, my smile dropped really suddenly there. Yeah, yeah, it sure did. It's 23 days and I know how women are. I know that women are going to absolutely positively adore him. You know, I definitely am nervous. I won't get you wrong on that. I'm more nervous about her finding someone that she'll fall for than I am about the island race. Would you go to a TV show with this? With a girlfriend that you had? It's funny. Why? It works out with it. Are you looking forward to that? I'm not going to say that she's a gold digger. All the girlfriends I've had were pieces of shit. I'm not motivated by money. I'm not motivated. It's doing fun things and I'm practical and I know that money makes the world go round. Money do make the world go round. No, it doesn't. That's a lie. Science makes the world go round. Ow. See, look, he can't handle the weed so he's going to spit and die in a lung cancer. Shut the fuck up, bro. I'm literally, I have to spit. I'm not going to spit in a bucket because it's gross. That's literally the point of the bucket. No, it'll be ash in the bucket. You can ash and spit in the tobacco bucket. That's gay. I'm going to fucking spit right in the hole. Turn the mouse off. That's a definitive loss at the end of this. Yo, that dog just climbed a tree. That surprises you? Yes, yes, yes, I know. Touch all three plaques to open the secret door. They hate each other, bro. Kennedy? John F. Kennedy? That's John F. Kennedy. I would do this show just for the simple fact that, like, free vacation. Look, if I was with a bitch, I probably wouldn't cheat on her, but I'd still do this because we get free vacation. How did me and my buddies do this before? Temptation Island. Yeah! Temptation fucking Island, yo. Look at it, it got monkeys. Oh, shit! Kitties, maracas, fish. You're a monkey. You can sleep with someone that's not your wife. Isn't there going to be a guy that rides a horse with his feet? Is he going to kick-flip a horse? Maybe. This is the second one, though. They had an island before this. It's like a total drama island. The first one, they got destroyed. Oh, is this a lightning room? Oh, it is. I need to flip through. Get back there, I lost it. Seventeen. Mark Wahlberg! Mark Wahlberg! But not actually Mark Wahlberg. Mark Wahlberg! How did he buy the Bible, dude? Carefully. I'm Mark Wahlberg. You know, that's probably how he was able to convince people to actually come. Because, I'm Mark Wahlberg. I can't wait to go see Mark Wahlberg. I can't believe Mark Wahlberg's in the host of Dave, though. They get there and it's just some white guy. Like, who are you? Well, Mark Wahlberg is just some white guy. No, Mark Wahlberg isn't. Oh yeah, it won't spit in the bucket, my ass. Can't handle the weed. Oh, that's a big joint, man. They're riding fuckin' horses. That's what rich people do. They're not rich, they're born rich. Does that mean these horses are stuck on this island? Yes. Oh, somebody's gonna fuck that guy, isn't he? Imagine you get shit on with a horse. Just because you fuck animals doesn't mean other people do, too. Here, look at Mark on his horse. Look how he rides that motherfucker. I wish Mark would ride me like that. Oh, there's so much I can tell you. Yeah, just say that right in front of me. Yeah, she's gonna fuck him. Dude, look at this fuckin' island. What do you think they did with the island once the show got shut down? Sold it. To Mr. Beast? To Mr. Beast's island? Probably. Oh, look, the horses are fuckin'! Oh, God. Everyone fucks on this island. Yo, what the fuckin' is that? It looks like Bane, but I think Bane was just fat. I think he acted very indifferent. It made me feel like those things really didn't matter to him. So, here's to you. Here's to the possibility that you leave this island with all the real answers. Oh, come on. I have so many boosts. Give me this. Thank you. God, I didn't want to waste that many inspirations on that. Yes, fat guy exploded. I don't have to fight him. I have conditions for myself. No, he drank too much wine. Of the booze. And he exploded. Cause he's fat. What? Yeah, her whole issue is like, he doesn't want to marry her, but not because he doesn't want to. He just doesn't feel like it's necessary. He's like, bruh. I just love you. I don't think I need to marry you to show you that. She just really wants to marry him. She's like, if you don't marry me, you don't love me. I'm going to kill the fat guy's minions anyway. Temptation Island. Where you get tempted. To do math. Why math? Breaking Bad is real popular in this town. Fair enough. You've all gotten very quiet, haven't you? Maybe it's this setting. This place makes you a little nervous. Maybe fearful. Maybe it's your instincts trying to tell you something. But the question is, how much do you trust your instincts? Sit tight. I'm going to be right back, okay? With what? What are you getting at? There better not be a Vietnamese child behind that. There better not be a Vietnamese child behind that. The what? Mark Wahlberg is very famous for being racist against Vietnamese children back in the 1990s. Not this Mark Wahlberg. The real Mark Wahlberg. I'm just assuming anyone named Mark Wahlberg is racist against Vietnamese people. Thank you for updating me on the Mark Wahlberg War. There's a lot of Mark Wahlberg Wars. The Mark Wahlberg Iceberg is huge. It's as big as the one that destroyed the Titanic. I can definitely say that. I mean, that's just like the whole show and situation with our relationship. With the fact that, you know, there's like drama, you know. And it's like, it's the drama that is mostly there. That's it is. Relationship warranty. I can't believe you're telling everybody about our business and stuff. Hey, what is going on? Why is it so awkward? Someone like, fuck already. Move the dick out. Is that Mark? Did Mark come back in a blue rope? Oh my God! What are they doing to him? Oh no! Listen, Mark's getting the mood ready. They're coming in, they're going to, they're going to sacrifice him. Why are they coming in close? Listen, people can come however they want to come. Stop judging them. Let me make the jokes here, buddy. You just sit there and play your stupid little D&D game? It's a fun game, fuck you. We are here to sacrifice the virgin among us. Mark Wahlberg. This is so weird. There he is. Why is he in a cloak? He should have like the white one. Oh, no, that's probably good. No. If this isn't Mark. It all begins... Now. Aw, damn, it's bitches! And fags! Stop talking. Hello? What do you get when you get a room full of bitches and fags? Queers. A lot of, a lot of whooping. And tobacco smoke. Those bitches and fags, yeah. Dude, this guy's staring at those women like, dude, I'm going to fuck all of them. He's like, I'm going to run straight at them. Right now, it's time to separate you. This will be the first night of many apart from each other. Don't panic. This is goodbye. It's going to be goodnight. We're all going to be back together again in the morning at breakfast. Yeah, he slapped her hand three times. He knows she's doing cheating. Yep. He fucking knows. Yep. He's like, he's like... Nice, nice relationship. Nice knowing ya. It was a great relationship. I'll pack your shit out when we get back. When I first woke up this morning, I was so tired. And now watch her be the only one that doesn't cheat. And right before my head hit the pillow, I literally said my thanks. And you have the privilege to be here. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. Oh, that's good stuff. I'm going to make the most of it. Yeah. Oh, no, dude. There's other men out there that are handsome and have jobs that pay them handsomely. Oh, no. They're, like, fearful, dude. They must have got, like, the most insecure people for this. Like, in their relationship. Yeah. Damn, there's a lot of bitches, though. And fags. What else do you call men, dude? Dudes? I have a... And they don't call them bitches? Call them women? No, because I have... I always say bitches. It's not in a disrespectful way. It's just what I call them. How is it not in a disrespectful way if you're calling them a bitch? Because I'm not actually, like, saying that they're, like, a bitch. I'm just saying they're a bitch. I've always said women's as bitches. But not, like, women's as bitches. Like, they're mean bitches. It's just like... I understand what you mean. It's just like an explanation. I don't know. I guess I just say it in such a manner I feel confident that people just understand the mannerism when I say it. I guess if I'm out, like, publicly... If I go to, like, a lesbian bar, I'm like, Yo, what's up, bitches? Or I'm like, Yo, you see all these bitches in here? They're probably beating me up or something. He's a fucking mortgage consultant? Did he just make a joke about his foot size? And he got a fist bump from all the other dudes. Oh, Kristen. She's a nurse. She's a nurse. I don't like your beard. You have a weird beard, too. You're gonna cheat. No, no, these are the people that they cheat on with. These are the people that try to make them cheat. No. It's gotta be so easy for them. Because their only goal here is... Wait, I thought... Wait, isn't it just two sets of couples and they swap boyfriends and girlfriends? No, that's a different show. This show is the females and the males of the couples going to separate parts of the island. Oh, so they hired a bunch of prostitutes. No, no, no, these are real people. Look, these are pharmaceutical salesmen. What? The first guy was a fucking mortgage consultant. Jesus Christ. They just got these people to come to this island. All the women go to the men's side and try to make the men cheat. Vice versa for the women. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. It's easy for them. Their only goal is to fuck these people who are in horribly horrible marriages. Especially the dudes. The dudes have this so easy. Their only goal here is to fuck. The other women I feel like might try to emotionally pump the other men and try to get them to work through their problems before trying to fuck them. The men, they're just here to have sex. They don't give a fuck. Donna, you look like a school teacher. You look like a school teacher and you're too old to be you. She's a big doctor, bro. He plays that app a lot. Adventure Capitalist. Oh, God. They said he was Adventure Capitalist. He must be really popular in those days. Like, you see? They're just being sexy. They're just like, yeah, you're gonna fuck me. You're gonna kill your wife and ruin your marriage. He's a youth counselor, too. He can talk to your kids. Ooh, that one. What? Oh, man. They're calling them sluts. Their girls are so mean already. But I'm still fun. No, you're not. What the fuck was that? That is not how you play basketball. I guess that's how he broke pity. He's just like, let me just get a... Like, why? Oh, damn. Big pity. That's what I was about to say. I guess... The other guy? Give me a do. The other guy that said he was a basketball player would love those titties. Wow. He's dancing. Put your hair down. Put your hair down. Yeah, do not put it in the ball like that. He said he's from Atlanta, Georgia. That's like half their hair gone, dude. It's so funny. It's like half their... They're gone. Half their gone? Half their hair's gone. What? Yeah. Dude, don't do that. That's not sexy. You suck at bodybuilding. Why do men do that and think it looks cool? You are so scrawny. Dude, that's not sexy. You just look disgusting. Oh, so... That one might be a possibility. Paid to party. She's the one everyone's worried about. They just got here, and they have to leave. Yep. What? What? The face... You just met these people. But look at them. Look at them truly. And tell me, which one's face do you see in your nightmares? Which one do you think's gonna be fuckin' balls deep in your wife's tonight, huh? What? That's the goal. That's what he's trying to get at with that. He's trying to be like, imagine which one's in your nightmare. Which one do you see fuckin' hog-tied your wife to the bed? And being dirty with her, dripping wax all over her and shit. You've thought about this too much. No, I... Okay, no, I did not. I just... I can just come up with shit fast. It's just, you're... My brain's faster than yours. I got a hyperspeed thing, though. I'm like a flash. But retarded? Yeah. And without the superpowers. The only one I have is a hyper thing, because it never works well. It never helps me do anything smart. You can't control it. It never helps me do anything smart. It's just for jokes and stupidity. It's so stupid. Occasionally, it makes me super intelligent, for like five seconds. But after that, it's like... Sorry, dude. You wanna know why? Because you're a worthless human? Yeah, well, no, it's just because of the fragmentation thing. I wish I could fix that shit, though, dude. Keep saying this, because you're... You're never gonna be able to fix. Yeah, because the Nigerian prince still has the fuckin' AI. And now I gotta go to India to get my 550 bucks back first. Like, I gotta get Mustafa Khan. Hey, Mustafa Khan. I still can't believe you let that guy scam you. Oh, look, now he's in the bucket. After yelling at me about you being in the bucket. I'm gonna find the Indian dog. I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna have him tied up. His kids are gonna be watching me do it. I'm gonna have, like, a crowbar. He's like, hey, Mustafa. Remember, uh... Colin Moore? That you stole 550 bucks from? Yeah. Where's my money, bitch? I'm gonna break his legs. And his kids are gonna be like, Papa, no! Papa, no! Boots of apparent death. That's actually drastic, I shouldn't be saying that. You're dancing very nice. Sorry. Yeah, nice, beautiful, pretty figure. All that stuff adds up. We'll see you later. Yeah. Alright, guys. It's the same situation. Let me just remind you. These are nice guys over here. They're gonna spend all their time with your girls. These are nice guys over here. They really wanna fuck your wives. That you'll be most concerned about. This guy right here? This guy? Dude, he's got a boater, everything to lit eyes. On the block, alright? That's gonna concern you. You understand? I've got a minute to confer. Put your heads together. Come to a consensus. We have to pick one. Alright. So, basically, this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna ask. We're gonna ask. I guess we have to pick one. Do we? We should ask. Should we ask? I have a question. You have a question? Go ahead, Ibby. Actually, the guys there, they could all stick around. I don't think we have any worries of any of them. Look how confident he is. We just would like them all to have a crack at it. Yes! Let's go. Correct answer. The answer. Mark's pissed, dude. Mark's pissed. Damn, he's laying at the hard truth. Just when you think you have it, you won't. Damn, Mark's laying down the hard truth. Mark's actually bothered. I'm not gonna lie. It's just people with the name Mark Wahlberg are just, like, badasses. Fuck you, bitch. And that's why I refer to them as bitches. Because sometimes they are bitches. But other times, they're just bitches. Do you get it? You're a bitch. Do you get it? It just makes me sound like an asshole. I'm just gonna keep going. I don't care how I get my work. I have so many boobies. Like, whenever I talk about someone's girlfriend, I always say the bitch. And, like, no one ever got offended yet. Or, like, when I refer to, like, a woman in power. Like, if they answer by Hilary Clinton, I'm like, you know, that bitch that had her e-mails leaked. You know? I say that, like... And it works for her both ways, too. Please don't kill me. I don't want to die. If I die at a car crash tomorrow, I didn't. I had to make that clear. The Clinton's here. I was very specific. The Clinton's fuckin' here. That's the number one way to kill people. They killed, like, three lawyers like that. No, they didn't. That's a legend. They didn't do it. And if I die by stabbing myself 30 times in the chest, I didn't. Why are you being so specific? Because, Murph, these people do rad shit. One time, a dude got his head cut off, and they labeled it a suicide. I'm not fuckin' with you, dude. It's corrupt, Spam. You know where they found the head? The dog ate it. Or the dog was eating it. No. Oh, wait, no, that's a different thing. The head was gone, and they labeled it a suicide. And then when they couldn't find the head, the foreigner said the dog ate the head. But then they found the head in the trash can. Later. Also, the dog was a chihuahua. Yeah, exactly. You see? And guess what? They got away with it. Jesus Christ. I realize a lot of the time now, conspiracy theories are not just conspiracy theories. Anyone who ever calls anyone a crazy conspiracy theorist is actually the crazy one. Conspiracy theories are, like, mostly fuckin' real, dude. It's fuckin' crazy. It's actually wild how many of them ring fuckin' true, and everyone's just, like, okay with it. Like, what? You know what Operation Northwood is? No. Remember when we were at war with Cuba? Or going to war with Cuba during the Cold War? I think so. And they wanted to go to war with Cuba. In order to get American support to go to war with Cuba, the CIA was going to launch terrorist attacks against civilians in America. Like, they were gonna bomb, like, libraries and shit. Oh, they were aiming it on them? Yes, they were aiming it on Cuba, so they were gonna be one of the new Cubans. Wow. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, bro. And this shit is, like, this is documented. And guess who released this? They released it themselves. Because they just release files every, like, 20 years that just incriminate them. And you can't do anything, because they run the government, and they're an organization. They're like, yeah, we can release these files that say that we tricked the Philippines, that they were attacked by vampires. And they also did it. Yeah, that's what I heard. And no one can do anything. And if I die in a fire tomorrow, and they find out that all my toes have been cut off and fed to different puppies at the orphanage, I didn't do that either, you know? What? The more you talk, the more they're gonna torture you, so you have to get more and more wild to see what they're gonna do to you. I'm sorry. Okay. Great, Nicole. Thank you. Thank you, too. Katie, is that right? Yeah. Okay, good. I don't have a clue why Nicole blocked Katie. She's just not my type of girl. I'm not into that. It's not my flavor. Tommy? It's not my flavor. It's not my flavor. She looks more like Keto's hot, spicy. I'm more of a Takis kind of guy, is what he's trying to say. He's dapping him up. Yo, he gave it to the guy with the cowboy hat? He did. Dude, she's such a bitch. She's like, yep, he may have blocked the one super hot cowboy guy, but there's so much dick right there that I'm looking at a bukkake. You should be nervous, too. Hello. I really want Mark to just fall in the water. That's funny when that happens. She's just like this. Hi. Oh my god, you're so, you're gorgeous. Oh honey, you're gorgeous. I wish I, I'm sorry to do this. I'm sorry I had to block you. Why are you being such a bitch? Because women are bitches. She's just like, sitting there. She doesn't want you to fuck her or her husband. Like, dude, get over it. You're on a show specifically to make people cheat on them. You have a worthless life right now. Get over it. You have a chance to fuck three other dudes. Big Jules? Oh, because his balls, I get it. Oh, she passed. They know. No. Oh, damn, she's a fucking turdbag. I think I have a little different approach to this. I think you're pretty much a threat, but I think that would escape the purpose of the whole experience. So I'm gonna go with the one I think you would be least attracted to. Oh, no, I didn't do that. I think if I blocked the one girl that I think he would be most attracted to would defeat the purpose of the entire experience. We're here to use these singles to our advantage for the sole purpose of getting answers, and I'm not gonna block off somebody who can help me get those answers. So I went with what I think he would like the least. Just because she's more of a rock and roller kind of chick and Tony's more of a conservative, all-American. Like, I thought she was trying to dog me. I was like, man, what's he mean? I was like... I listened and I was like, speechless. I don't get what she got. Like, I understood perfectly what she meant from the beginning. She wasn't calling the girl ugly. She was just saying that she didn't think her boyfriend would like her that much if he blocked her. And she could get the most out of the experience. She's like the smartest woman I've ever met. You calling a woman smart? Yo, what? I can compliment women, too. There's not... You keep saying that there's a stigma that I hate women. I'm not one of the other boys who think women just don't exist. Our friends unironically, like, hate women. I know. To an extent. Like, they think they're objects. At least they hate them. It disappoints me. It is. Like, unironically. Some of them. Most of them. Yeah. I don't even like women. I'm gay. Like, I don't... Yes! Yes! Got it on tape. Well, guess what? I still haven't found a way to upload these and make them cool yet. Yes, but it's on my computer forever now. Forever. They did a pretty good job, huh? I want to get to the cheating part, though. Like, when do they start fucking other people? Patience, young Padawan. And obviously, they're not going to show them fucking on the tape. I agree. I'm trying to figure out how much of it is staged, though. I don't... A lot of it can't be. Like, you have these... I mean, I guess you could. You get to tell by their acting. There's no way all of them can be that good actors. We'll have to wait. Like, they're still together. They're supposed to be on two opposite sides of the island. Fucking rose and windows. Hi. Come on in and sit down. Would you rather have a boat or a home? A boat. I'd rather have a home. I like the boat. I'm ready to shoot. I'm ready to take some more pics. So, I'm putting my faith in his hands. I've got to trust him. You know, even if they don't cheat, or they say they do cheat, but they both cheat, and then they both come back to, like, yeah, but we still love each other, it's, like, never going to be the same, because, like, if they get into an argument... Yeah, well, that guy in the fucking island's dick was bigger than yours! And her titties were larger! Her pussy was tighter! She's not just saying hi. I need to say hi. Oh. Sorry. Oh, Barb? Because I used to say honey and sweetie was special to me, and you say honey and sweetie to everyone. There you go. It's about being smart, and using nice, neat situations to care about each other. You know what guys are thinking when they're single? You're a bitch. Sorry to kind of change the issue, but, um, the singles, I mean, who knows if they're really up to the challenge? I mean, I really can't speak for the guys, I'm sure they are. You know, that's, I mean, we know how guys are. Well, yeah, I mean, I think guys are a little bit more driven to that, you know, just that... They, they, they, yes, 100% they are. Yes. Men are driven by sex. It's like... It is, it is hard-wired into our genetic code. Even, even if you want to try so hard to be a white-knighted Redditor dude who gets Reddit gold and makes every woman feel like a queen, you are still triggered by sex. Any woman will go up to you, they could take their titties out and ask you to cut your big toe off, and you do it. No. Yes, no, like, not you, I'm saying the Redditor in this scenario. Oh, the Redditor, probably. You can try to be the nicest white man of all time. If a woman does something with her body to try to get you to do something, and you're a dude, probably gonna do it. It's not our fault. God did it. God... No, I'm kidding. Wait, fuck. First I pissed off the government, now I pissed off God. Yeah, stop pissing off God. Someone's gonna kill me eventually. Right now. Oh. They get on the island, the first thing they do is drop their things. Wait, I'm ready to cheat! Come on! Who wants me? Yeah, think about what I said. I'm Mark fucking Wahlberg. But I'm not actually Mark fucking Wahlberg. I'm in fucking traffic. I was hoping that they would have a chance to cheat with each other's, like, spouses. But that's a different TV show. There is a TV show about that, though. It's called Trading Spouses. Oh no, that's a different one, too. They're so mad. TV used to be so fun. They wouldn't show shit like this anymore. Because you can't persist this toxic behavior in media now. Even though it's fun for people to watch, you're not allowed to persist it. So they wouldn't show this shit now. But they should. It'd be so good. I'd watch it. I'd watch it. Fuck you, church. If they brought this out now, though, I would totally include it in, like, going live television. I'd buy a cable box series. She's not even fucking looking at him. No. Right there. Going on dates. What do you mean? I like how everyone's, like, hugging and cuddling with him, but, like, Tommy and his girlfriend, or whatever, they're just so pissed. Look, they're just arguing. You run your mouth all the time. They're just arguing. Everyone else is being, like, so good about it. All lovey-dovey. They're just, like, hugging and kissing. They're just like, you run your mouth all the fucking time. They're just like, bye. I'm gonna go fuck another bitch. I'm gonna go fuck another dude. There is no derogatory term for men. Faggot. No, it's not just for men. It's not for men. It's for fags. I guess you're right. Dick. But that's not really that bad. Yeah, it's not derogatory for them. A name. You can go ang with it. What is... Where is the equality here? I want a derogatory term for men. We should make one up. What? But it has to be a cuss word. Because bitch... Bitch is a good word. We'll have to create a new word. Of course it should be a cuss word. Oh, that won't be easy, Church. Gimp? What, gimp? That's already a word. We have to create a new word. No, you just have to... It has to be... Because bitch wasn't created for women. True. Gimp. Gimp. Because gimp is a dude who... A gimp is a thing. For sex. But it's like a... It's a humiliation thing. Of course you would know that. In Isaac, you can get a thing called the gimp suit. And when you take damage... Did you really learn this from The Binding of Isaac? No, I know what a gimp suit is. It's like a sex suit. You'll know what it is if I don't describe it. I know what it is, I'm just making fun of you. It's a gimp suit. The thing in Isaac is when you take damage, you get a heart back. A spirit heart. But in reality... Oh god, yeah, that is the kinky suit. You look like a fucking idiot. I think gimp would work for men. Men are gimps. Gimps and bitches. I like that. I think it's good. Gimp. You like gimp? You're a gimp. Because that's the only thing that really comes to mind when I think of a derogatory term for men that would work really well for men. Because you don't really see women be gimps. But I guess you do. But the term is for men, I think. I don't know. I'll just go with it. No comment. I'll call it a day. But gimp doesn't sound like a cuss word, does it? I think it does. Let me be the first to welcome you to Meditation Island. Everyone's just being shit. I wanna see if the grass is really greener on the other side. He cheats on Nathan, we're not gonna stay together. Just do or die. Like, fuckboy's a thing. But that only works for like a certain type of man. Yeah. But it's usually the type of man that the derogatory term would work for anyway. No, I didn't say kissing some girl's breasts were fine. No, I didn't say kissing some girl's breasts were fine. What? I didn't hear that. Go back. No, I'm not gonna go back. At part of the episode they show what's gonna happen in the episode. So we're gonna see it again. There's so much kissing. Are any of them kissing their wives, though? Probably not. I would assume not, because this is episode two. And they've just gone away from each other. God, man, what a good routine. I need to come up with this. We need to come up with this in the chat, because if anyone else does, I'm gonna be real upset. If I put it in the group chat and someone has a better one than me, like Michael, I'll be so pissed off. There's gotta be another term for another animal that we use that could work for men. Crips. What? Crips. No. No. No. I thought if I yelled it really excitedly it would make it sound better, but... No, it did not. Bad, but bad meaning good. I was gonna combine cockroach with crips, but that doesn't sound good. Right. No. Scares. No. Yes, because all the only thing scares do is eat and breathe and shit. No. Yes, dude, that's actually so good. No. Yes, it's actually so good. We read scarabs and bitches. You're having a stroke. No, because you know what a scarab is? Yes. It lives, eats, shits shit, does anything with shit. And if I'm being derogatory towards men, they're acting like pieces of shit. Do you see my thought process, then? No. Okay, you know what, Murph, let's do this. No thanks, you're not my type. It definitely works, though. I've never had second doubts about coming to Temptation Island, and I still don't. I'm totally open. It's really gonna depend on how the guys are, and if there's someone there that's interested... And if they open their pants. I just might suck their dick. ...worry about the consequences later. I cannot wait. I like scarabs. I think it's the end of the world. Then you'd come up with a better one. No, because it's your thing. Then I'm gonna call them scarabs. You can call them whatever you want. Call them scarabs. Okay, so for you? Okay. Thank you. Look, we're doing this together as a group thing. I never agreed to that. In a moment, I'm gonna come up to each one of you. No thank you, you're not my type. Hey, if you keep saying it, it doesn't make any sense. It's not funny, so... Are you with me? I am with you. Let me remind you, a couple guys and ladies, you're not allowed to speak whatsoever throughout this whole time here, okay? No contact. No little eye, hand signals, none of that, okay? Alright, so as I was saying, there'll be a tray with shells. You'll grab one of those shells, look inside the shell, that name will be the person that you're going on a date with. It's a totally random selection. I like that process. I'm looking, by the way. Someone had to have already had this one. Careful. What time is it? 7.42. Shannon was laughing a lot, and she tends to do that in a nervous situation, or a situation where she doesn't want to show any of her emotions. And I was like, yep, here it is. Where the excitement starts. Now it's your turn, Tony. Randomly select one of them. Donna. Donna! Congratulations, come on down, Donna. Tony's safe. Eight words from men of ill reputation. Even my concerns are off. She's not really Tony's type. Raquel. What? A disrespectful person. Brannigan. Lounge lizard. Bone-ass-y. Tad. Oh, Tad actually kind of works. A man who acts with deliberate disregard for another's feelings or rights. Tad. That doesn't sound bad. Blackguard. Blackguard sounds too cool. Lothario. I kind of like Tad. Bloke. He's called Bloke. Tad. Daniel showed it. And he's an aspiring lawyer. That right there, those two words, it makes me laugh. I don't think she's going to find him attractive. Alright, bitches and Tad. Tads and bitches. Actually, Tad does work with bitches. Bitches and Tads. Tads and bitches. You know. But I like it. I like it. I love it, I got it. Tad. Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, T Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, Tad, T T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, T, 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