tea with d ep2

The speaker starts by talking about the weather and their cup of tea, emphasizing that this is a safe space with no judgment. They express their support for the LGBTQ2+ community and the importance of respect, honesty, and love. They discuss the need to be careful with what we say, especially on social media. The speaker receives positive feedback about their podcast and expresses gratitude. They mention the importance of opening up about real issues and mental health. The speaker shares their thoughts on dating after a 25-year relationship, discussing their dating profile and frustrating experiences with online dating. They touch on their preferences and expectations in a partner. They mention the challenges of advocating for mental health and seeking proper help. The speaker concludes by encouraging listeners to reach out with topic suggestions and expressing their desire to set up call recordings for future episodes. So good afternoon is 1234 and I think it's about 13 degrees out or something like that. I see on my phone. I feel chilly. I'm having my Cup of tea that I normally do I'm on my second one. I've been up for what for a little while and just thinking about What we're gonna talk about or what I'm gonna talk about First things first is that I just want people to know that this is a safe space safe talk There's no judgment I Accept everyone and I'm an ally to the LGBTQ2 plus Believe that's what it is You know, pardon if I get it wrong I'm an ally for that I mean people I I believe that we are human because we are human and Regardless of who we love it that's our business and as long as that everyone can respect and Honor and have honesty you'll have love and that's just how it works to get love you have to have Respect and honesty and No judgment. I mean, I mean we are human we all do judge here and there on certain things in life, but you know be self-aware of You know what you're saying or how you're saying something to someone Especially when you're doing it over social media. That's my phone ringing But you really have to be aware of what you're saying and how you're saying it That's my phone ringing but you're doing over social media or a text message. I mean, there's no motion to it so at least if you're on the phone or you know in person even a handwritten letter will show emotion and Get the context across the way you you know, whatever it is that you're speaking about But I want people to know this is a safe space I Will not tolerate any any ignorance. I will not tolerate any hate speech Nothing like that I'm all against that that's inappropriate and So I just want to put that out there, you know but I want people to feel comfortable and feel relaxed and know that I'm here and you're there and you know, Maybe you know, this can be something So last night when I went to bed I was tired As soon as I lay down my mind wouldn't stop and actually it was the first time in a long time I couldn't tell you last time that it was good thoughts and it was about doing this podcast and all these ideas and I just wanted to go to bed, but I was so part of me was excited with the feedback that I got and And from different people and you know, the audio was good and they can hear me good And this is all from my computer. I don't even have a mic. This is just the mic that's built into my computer So I'm pretty impressed with my computer So yay computer so Yeah, that's that's the first part I wanted to get across about this podcast and you know to be able to talk freely and to be mindful of ourselves and others and our actions and our behaviors and Have some fun So I'm gonna take a quick pause for one second and I'll be right back So here I am I'm on pausing Just playing around with this program a little bit still but so far so good So I just got a message from Ali and she listened to my first pilot episode 1 podcast and she's given me consent to read what she wrote to me. So what she wrote was That's gonna be so good for you. And I truly think opening up and letting people know how real These things are is so important for society Not just society but family friends people close to you to have an understanding on the way These things can affect it affect day to day even what they would call simple tasks people Can be quick to judge mental health without knowing what the person is going through internally It's it's physical as well But most don't see those moments because it generally happens behind closed doors where we feel safe Or when professional help is being seeked and we have to expose ourselves to get the proper treatment. I'm proud of you Well, Ali, thank you so much for that. I really appreciate it. And I'm proud of you, too I'm proud of you for replying back to me and Your journey and You know, this is what this is about, you know Coming together and being able to talk and not feel defensive or You know, I mean we're I mean we're human we're gonna have those feelings, but it's okay It's okay, too It's okay to have those feelings to go through them because then you come on the other side and I'm starting to learn that more more Like for me There's things that I remember and there's things that I don't remember that are very foggy and that drives me crazy because I feel like Maybe it's something important. I should be remembering but I have to I've had to tell myself over and over again that What is meant to be will be and what will happen? You know down the road It's gonna happen. I can't control everything so I'm just trying to live in the now in the present and Enjoy my cup of tea and talking to you guys so with that being said I was thinking a few things of what to talk about Let's talk about dating now I was in a 25 year relationship and And then ended it'll be three years ago come January I Was jaded I was very pissed very hurt very numb for quite a while in the beginning which is normal Even though sometimes didn't feel normal to me because I couldn't understand it, but eventually I did and you know, there's just been different things that's happened since then and and it's really given me a look at my expectations of myself and the expectations of others and dating online Is something else? Now I'm going to my phone and I'm gonna read to you my dating profile if I can get into my phone and And you know, I think I was pretty What's the word I'm looking for Very forward In my profile of what I was, you know what my expectations are without going into so much detail so Besides you know Where I live my age my height blah blah blah blah blah my interest There's a part that says, you know about yourself So this is what I wrote I'm on you when I did this a couple months ago It was at a boardroom because to be honest with you I'm just not feeling it really the dating thing. Like I'm just focusing more on myself So with that being said so I put I'm gonna be honest I'm just looking to make a friend no hookups not interested All my energy is being refocused back to me getting myself back to where I need and want to be So I only have a little energy to give It's all I got right now. I Came on here. I came on here to distract myself My mind and maybe meet a friend who understands no judgment. Thank you Now with that being said What frustrates me is the messages I get from random people I Mean I get some you know, hi. How are you? Be nice to talk to you. Like those are generalized type of messages um I'm trying to find one here. I Actually was asked if I wanted to be if I wanted a sugar daddy I Asked this one message me one and open one to have a one-night stand because they're in town For the next you know, 12 18 hours. Um, I For me I'm trying to understand them the men's and men's mind like I mean We all know they got two brains. Haha, right, but seriously, I mean You know, I go on their profile and check out what they're looking for and it's not and then the message will be like I Why would you leave someone a message like that, you know? Very intense and sexual After obviously you didn't read my profile so I don't answer back to those people There was a couple I did just because that because it was funny What they said, you know made me laugh so I was like, oh you made me laugh so I'll respond kind of thing I I guess I'm looking for someone that can read night that spark of that interest and Humor is a big part of it for me. It's not just the physical appearance of being attracted to someone and let's face it Vanity or you want to call it being shallow? It's just it's just a natural instinct as us being human beings being the species that we are. I mean There has to be an attraction of some sort. It's not always what someone looks like that can be a part of it, but it's you know, the personality the characteristics the humor the If they're good at good sarcasm a good funny sarcasm, I enjoy that I Like there to be a bit of a challenge, you know, and at the end of the day I think for me The the part I get nervous is as much as I'm Honest of who I am. I'm always afraid that someone will accept me like completely That's something that I'm working on for myself Because I need to accept myself completely as well before someone else is able to write but uh Yeah, so I Don't know who's out there dating listening to this or thinking of dating or Been dating. I like to hear your stories, you know Funny ones some you know some questionable ones Yes, I have been Ghosted and I know I've been catfished because I can tell by the pictures of some of these people and then what they say It's not matching up. So I don't you know, I don't feed into it I'm just gonna sip my tea Hope you guys enjoying your beverage coffee hot chocolate tea wine, whatever no judgment Also to something else I want to put there I'm 420 friendly cannabis only Bat and cigarettes, those are my two things that I do Every you know, I Every you know recreational or occasional I don't drink I just it bothers my stomach and I just don't want to feel sick. So I don't drink You know Unless unless the mood strikes me I used to think I was very square kind of person like everybody else around me was wild and just More out there and doing this and then you know now that I'm 44 and And I look and these memories come back or these flashbacks of memories. I'm like I wasn't square I was crazy and I I think crazy in a good way I was spontaneous and and Do random funny things or you know? If it was someone's birthday or someone's thing, you know, I would do certain things to make them laugh and You know once I got on a roll I was good to go But But yeah back on the dating thing the dating face. I just I Don't know. I mean The person I was with for 25 years We met in high school, you know That's how it was and that that to me and prior to that person any other boyfriends I had, you know Met at a coffee shop or you know through a friend at a party or something not, you know Being a teenager and things like that or through school That to me is Is organic and that's the way I rather it be now in my life. I don't want social media I'm not saying it doesn't work because I know I know people personally who have met on dating sites and now they're married and they're living a life and you know and they're enjoying, you know loving each other enjoying each other's company and Through the thick and thin of everything and so I'm not saying it's not possible of not being able to meet someone It's just really It's really uncomfortable I think I'd be and the thing is I'm a funny person because I'm not thinking about you know when I before You know years ago, you know, I've gotten hit on I didn't do anything about it because I Was with someone so it was never on my mind. So when someone's flirting with me It wasn't till like 10 minutes later I realized Oh, they were flirting with me, you know, and Yeah, I mean it feels good. I mean it feels nice and someone compliments you or first with you like a friendly flirt but you know, I'd rather be going into the grocery store or you know going for a walk and For whatever reason, you know, you just cross paths with someone and you start having a conversation about the weather or Maybe they're walking their dog and I'm a dog person. I love cats. I do but I'm more of a dog person and you know, um, my dog Winston He passed away Six years ago. It's been And I miss him every single day. I have a painting that my child made for me Hanging up above my computer. So I always feel him around me. He's my guardian angel and He's helped me through Some dark times in the last few years. I could just feel his presence But um, I know I'm kind of going off track Um, this is part of the adhd. I got a lot to say and i'm trying to organize it I did write it down, but it doesn't seem to work. So bear with me So There are some people who are like, oh, I'm not gonna be able to do this I'm not gonna be able to do this. I'm not gonna be able to do this. I'm not gonna be able to do this I'm not gonna be able to do this. I'm not gonna be able to do this. I'm not gonna be able to do this So There was something else I wanted to talk about Um I just really not sure if it's time yet, but Um to do the mental health Is to do with advocating for yourself and pushing? with my current psychiatrist and um Anyways I'm in the process of finding out of how to do a proper formal complaint I want to be respectful. I'm I just want to be heard is really what it is and i'm and a proper solution and for My current psychiatrist to understand that What they have done is unethical and so I'm waiting for a phone call. So hopefully sometime today To see how to go about this situation um As I get more information and know exactly what route i'm going Then I will let you guys know i'll give you guys a follow-up and how it goes um But if you're listening to this and you know You're feeling so exhausted and overwhelmed and just like you want to give up and you know what it's okay to feel like that It's okay to have that moment, you know what, you know, if it's five minutes a minute, whatever You know, you're you're allowed to feel what you feel and um It's It doesn't it doesn't help When you're seeking help and that help that you've been Seeking for almost three years um Continuously, uh, and then all of a sudden it stops because um You know a change of plans on their end and And no backup plan was planned with with where i'm going or how to get to where I need to be so you know, I just Really want you guys to understand where i'm coming from and uh Yeah, this is the joys of being in the 40s, uh, I you know, I know I made a joke about that the first episode but I tell you it's uh You know going from your 20s to your 30s and then your 40s is completely different completely different than the 30s and I understand more now than I did, you know four or five years ago And I had to go through things to understand I had to hurt I had to cry I had to get mad I had to You know react and behave and and then to come back and realize okay. Well that doesn't work. So um Let's find out what does work work Um So I really hope you guys uh Enjoy this episode two post podcast. Um And if there's any I mean who knows I might do another another one later on today I just um I just wanted to talk, you know, I just felt the need to talk and Neighbors upstairs are jumping the kids are it drives me crazy. They're just being kids, but it's still driving crazy. I don't want to hear it um So, yeah, so you know let me know what you think or what topics I should talk about or If there's something particular that you you want to talk about and you want me to be the voice for you, um I am going to try to figure out how to set this up where I can have calls come in and have them recorded with me Uh as we do this, that's something that I need to learn. So if anyone has any info or knows how I really appreciate your help. Um, I appreciate all the support and You know, let's have some fun, you know, let's have some fun. Let's have a talk and let's get the ball rolling So you guys take it easy and enjoy your tea or coffee or your glass of wine And we will talk soon Cheers