episode 1

The speaker discusses why people tend to overthink, focusing on the story of a boy named Joseph. Joseph's self-worth became tied to his academic performance, leading him to constantly worry about pleasing others and seeking external validation. This pattern continues into adulthood, where individuals feel the need to work hard and prove themselves in order to be loved and valued. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-love and challenges societal conditioning that perpetuates the need for perfection and comparison. They promise to address these issues in their podcast and help listeners thrive instead of merely surviving. The podcast will not feature interviews, but instead focus on uplifting listeners and potentially changing lives. The speaker invites listeners to join them on this journey. What are we thinking today? So today the topic is, why do we overthink? Before we get to it, let's just think about it. What leads to all this overthinking in the first place? We don't overthink positive scenarios. We are always overthinking worst case scenarios. So what has led and ingrained all the mankind, most of the mankind rather, to think about all the scenarios that are not going to happen? But it freezes us and we are constantly overthinking. So why do we do it? There's a story behind it. Let's get to it, like a story, as I said, and then we can understand it better. Think of a boy named Joseph. Joseph was a lovely child who was loved by his parents, by his relatives, and then just like everyone else's parents, Joseph's parents decided to put him in school. So initially he loved school because he was making a lot of friends who also loved him. There was a teacher who also loved him. But gradually as his classes kept on changing or he was in different grades, suddenly the marks that he was getting started to reduce because he didn't like certain subjects. So in certain subjects he was not getting good grades. What happened was the teacher stopped giving him the attention which the teacher used to give earlier. And he took it upon himself that he is unlovable because he is not getting good grades in those subjects. And he started to punish himself for it by hating himself. The same Joseph who always felt that he is loved, suddenly started to feel unloved. And he learned how to unlove himself because the same marks were shown to the parents and their face also fell. And looking at their faces, he completely attached his worth, self-worth to marks. The message that Joseph got was, I really need to work hard to get good grades and then I am lovable. Otherwise I am not. And I accept the tone for all his life. And this is exactly why we overthink. Because when he was in school, he used to always worry about the marks after giving exams. Before exams he was in distress. He was always worried, I have worked so hard, I have done so much. Hopefully, hopefully my parents will love me this time. Hopefully my teacher will give me that attention that I have been craving. But Joseph failed to understand, because he was a child, he was just a child, that all he needed was his own attention and love. And his worth was not determined by marks. But it set the tone for his entire life. Can you imagine? We feel we need to work hard to prove ourselves, to show people our worth. Then we become eligible for love. But love is free. It has always been free. And it goes on. The need to work hard to be loved is a pattern that all of us follow at work. We have to work hard. We are working long hours. We are in survival mode. We fail to take care of ourselves. And we are frustrated too. But no, we have to prove it to our boss that we are a good employee. We are productive. We are working hard every day to set a tone, to set a pattern. We fail to realize it's just a transactional business. I am giving my productivity and 13 hours and I am getting paid for it, like everyone else. By working extremely hard, it's not that I am going to get more money. It's definitely being sincere is one thing. But losing your sleep over work, to working extra hours, to working in environments which are toxic, because they do not let you prioritize your mental health. How is it defining your worth? Nobody, nobody is questioning that. And that needs to be questioned. The need for external validation, you know, where we base our lack of self-love, which was taught to us in school that there, you know, we stop loving ourselves. And always felt unworthiness, you know, unworthy. It is a cycle that has continued and that's why we keep on thinking worst case scenarios. And always living in fear, fear of not doing the job properly, fear of not being the perfect person in a relationship, fear of not executing the job perfectly. It is like we are craving perfection and our childhood has set the tone. 100 out of 100 is achievement. 99, why did we lose one mark? 56, oh my God, out of 100, we can't even imagine, we are just average. So everyone wants to be extraordinary and we are struggling, we are fighting, we are running in a rat race, which has no end. We fail to realize that our ordinary is what makes us extraordinary. All of us are unique. All of us are special in our own ways. We feel the same emotions. We are here to experience all the emotions. We are here to experience life. We are not here to run a rat race. We are not here to just get on top of each other and put each other down. No, we are not here for all those things. And what we think matters, where we give our attention to matters, because it sets the tone for the rest of our lives. And that's where it becomes very important. What are we thinking? And how are we thinking about ourselves? How do we perceive ourselves? Because our perception of self is way, way more important than we think. We are the main character of our story. There is no one else who is more important, no celebrity, no one else. We should be the celebrity of our life. And in this podcast, that's exactly what I'm going to cover. And that's my promise to you. Whenever this ends, or in this journey, I am going to be that teacher who teaches you how to become that celebrity of your life that the society has ensured that you do not become. And I'm going to put all of you to the best of my ability in thriving mode and take you out of survival mode. So we are going to address all the issues, all the conditioning that is stopping us from living our lives at the fullest. Because in my podcast, we don't have interviews. I'm here just for my listeners. I'm not here to interview anyone else. My listeners are my guests. And this is how we set the tone. And this is what I believe. I'm here to uplift and hopefully, hopefully I'm going to change a few lives to an extent and that is more than enough for me. So welcome to the podcast. And let's set the ball rolling. I think. Let's begin.