part 2

The podcast host introduces the topic of hookup culture and celibacy and invites a guest to discuss it. They talk about the pressure to participate in hookup culture in college and how it can be forced upon students. They also discuss the importance of having a connection with someone before engaging in sexual activity and the negative effects of casual hookups. They mention the power dynamics and insecurities that can arise in these relationships. They mention the idea of soul ties and how sex can create a bond between two people. They emphasize the importance of waiting for the right person and building a strong foundation before engaging in sexual activity. Hello everybody! Welcome to From Love Podcast. Last week, I apologized sincerely because I kept on saying, return to love, and my friend that always texted me was like, return to love, is that your name? And I was like, no girl, that's just the book I'm reading right now. Really good book, I recommend reading it. It's by Marianne Williamson. But anyways, this week we're going to be doing, our topic is hookup culture and celibacy, and to take this podcast on, I've invited a very special guest. Drumroll please! Yay! Okay, and you can just tell them whatever you want about yourself. So, born and raised in Broward County, moved to Fort Myers a year and a half ago. Did they say I was 22 years old? No, not this time. Okay, 22 years old, ethnic background, Albanian-Colombian, and first generation American. Yeah? Yay! We're so happy to have you. Me and Nazeve actually became friends, like what, this year? Yeah? July, I think. Yeah, so we're almost getting our friends aren't we? Our friend-a-render? Friend-iversary. Thank you, thank you. But yeah, you want to get us rolling on the topic, or do you want to meet us? It's hard, but, so yeah, obviously hookup culture is a very prominent thing in our age group, and I feel like a lot of people are starting to talk about it more, and form opinions on it. I know, personally, when I came to college, I obviously saw so many more people hooking up, especially, you're going out, you're going to bars, you're getting drunk, so you see it happening a lot more. It's happening too much at this point, though. Yeah. Wait, what? It's happening too much. Yeah, I do think it's happening too much, and I think also, it's almost forced on you when you come to college, it's like, I remember my freshman year, all my friends either had a sneaky link, which if you don't know what that is, it's like somebody that you hook up with at the end of the night, or you sneakily see them, whatever, and hook up with them, or they were literally catching bodies every weekend, which is like, I'm like, damn, hoes! Which is fine if that's your thing, but I remember when I was a freshman, I was like, oh my god, I need to hook up with people, because everybody's doing it. I don't know, I literally felt peer pressure. I don't know, because I was always like, looked as, I'm not going to lie, like the one that was like, oh, Mary, she doesn't, I was always like, not scared of it, but it was always like, what? Like something that you just weren't going for, growing? Something you didn't want to participate in? Well, yeah, just because my mom grew us up, me and my sister grew up with a lot of fear. I was born and raised in a religious household, so she would like, not raise us within fear, but like, obviously with the Bible, but the way she did it, kind of just when I did grow up, I got the other side where it was like, I was so scared to jump into it. Right. But honestly, I think that's a good moral foundation to have when it comes to sex, because it's like, you literally see girls go and it's like, they have sex with guys who, okay, I have a friend, and every time he's told me about like his hookup stories or whatever, he's like, I literally had maybe like a 10 minute conversation with this girl, and then we left the bar and like hooked up. And he actually is the one that's like, I don't like hookups because like, there's such a disconnect, like there's nothing there. And it's like, it's insane to me because before, like, I feel like girls were like, oh, yeah, this is guys, like, they don't want to like, have relationships, they just want to be like, no strings attached, whatever. But now it's like, now that I've made more guy friends, and like, we've become closer, it's like, it's not one sided, like men are now starting to feel like this too. Like, they want a connection, like, our souls, like we were meant to build connections with people. Yeah. But that's the thing with me also is that sex to me, like, because people also have sex for just like have 10 minute conversation, go home, have sex, amazing, I might like never talk to you again. And I was like, I can't do that. I just I don't work like that. I need to have a connection with you. Because if I don't have a connection with you, I'm not going to feel pleasure. Right? I'm going to feel used. Exactly. It's like, that's why I was like, I don't know, you've not like participated in it. I'm very cautious with it. And a lot of guys are very like, Oh, my God, you see, like a lot of guys look at that. And they're like, want to corrupt the corrupt the youth. Yeah, like that type of vibe. It's just like also weird. Yeah, you get like both sides of it. You attract more sexually hyper manic. I don't know what it is. Right. So but I also feel like you filter out at least like, I feel like in the college age group, like freshmen, like what, like 18 to like 2122. I feel like you also filter out a lot of people with that, though, when they realize like, this girl's never gonna sleep with me. They're like, Alright, well, I'm gonna go find Yeah, I'm gonna go find somebody else. But and then the other hand, there are those guys that are like, oh, she's a virgin. Like, I want to like be her first and like that. Which is so that's evil. Evil, dude. Like if you're going and finding Yeah. If you're looking for virgins, knowing that you just want to hook up with them and never talk to them again, you have problems. Literally go find a therapist, man. Yeah, there's a root issue there. There's something there. No 1000%. But I was also gonna say, um, with the power dynamic and like sexual relationships, when you're hooking up, so many women though, are like not even getting off. Like they literally aren't even getting in bed with them. Please, but I think it's really like insecurity, like driven, you know what I mean? Because I remember thinking back on like people who I've known and stuff who have hooked up and this is no judgment because obviously, like, it's experience and you find yourself and you lose yourself in different ways. And that displays itself in very different ways. But I noticed that a lot of those girls were very, like, insecure with themselves. I think also a lot of them, their motive with it was like, oh, I'm eventually gonna have a sneaky link, like this consistent, like hookup partner. And then they would either not get that, or they would get that. And then they're like, well, what now? Like, there's no progression with that person. He gave up Exactly. And it's, I was watching a TikTok the other day. And this guy was like, the longer you wait to have sex with somebody, the more respect a man's gonna have for you, like as a woman, because they're going to see that you're somebody who it gives them a different perspective. Yeah. Yeah. Of course, your character is always going to speak a lot louder than your actions. Yeah, I think your character can wait. No, your character is going to speak a lot. Your actions are going to speak louder than your character. I don't know. I lost myself there. No, I think I was trying to say, like, people will see your character through actions. I was thinking the other way. I was like, wait, which way? But I agree. I agree. Um, but yeah, I feel like I feel like guys definitely notice, like, when you're looking for, like a high value woman and somebody to really become a partner with, it's probably not that girl that's coming home with you. And maybe it is, maybe it is. And that's what works out. But I feel like most times, you actually get to know somebody when there's no sexual relationship, like you're not getting blinded. And also, I feel like sometimes starts out a little rocky, because it's like, when you have sex with someone, you lay in bed with someone, you're getting to know them in like an intimate level. So it's like you get in bed with them. And it's like, the rare percentage of that working out of your sneaky or friends of benefits or whatever it is. It's only a matter of time that it's like one catches feelings, and then it starts off rocky. You're already starting off that relationship at such a rocky, instead of having like, a simple foundation and starting it off, like, I'm gonna say, like, traditionally, yeah, like working like, not conservatively, but like, with caution. I also feel like when you're just kind of jumping in bed with somebody, obviously, like, there's a good chance that that person is not meant for you. And when you have sex with the wrong people, you keep the wrong people around for the wrong reasons, because then you get that physical attachment. And it's not too long to like the emotions follow, like you said, like people get attached. And then you're like, kind of like, oh, well, I don't want to keep on like, or I don't want to stop talking to him, because I already caught a body. And I already started something with him. So like, I'm going to figure it out, or I'm going to change him and changing somebody's a whole different topic, but you can't change somebody, you know what I mean? And then you just have this person lingering around for all the wrong reasons. Like, you guys might not even work part of you lingering inside of him. Yeah. But most of the time, I feel like when that like exchange of energy happens, most of the time, it's the negative energy that stick around. Well, yeah. So I was watching a podcast, and she was talking about it. And she was saying a soul tie is your will, your mind and your emotion. So when you lay in bed with someone, and you can join yourself together, and you come into agreement and sex, you make yourself one. So it's like, yeah, like emotions and the will. And so it's like, it gets a little just like rocky. Yeah, it's like the whole wood thing. It's when you have sex with someone, and your souls mesh together, they tie together. Eventually, when you guys do take your separate route, when that wood breaks apart, there's fragments both on the sides of the wood. So it's like, you have left part of yourself on him. And he has left part of you inside of you. And I think sometimes it's a little rocky to also it's because people have demons or demonic things inside of them bad habits, like bad emotion, certain things are unhealed, and then they're passed on to you. So it's like, now you're left fucking confused. Yeah. And so is he and filled with all these like random. So it's just like, why do that to yourself? Why further yourself from a path you're supposed to be on, honestly. And then getting yourself mixed up in all these side quests, like, you know what I mean? Yeah, I, um, I agree. And I feel like most of the time, in that, like scenario, it's almost always the girl who really gets the like the backlash of that, like, negative emotion to guys. Think about it. I feel like most of the time, obviously, like, this is just situational, obviously, like, not everybody's the same. But most of the time, it's the guys who are kind of like, engaging with several partners. And most of these girls, even if they are having sexual relations, they're looking for one person to have sexual relations with. So and then these guys are suppressing all these emotions, right? And where do you think you Yeah, like, girl, this is suppressing anything. Yeah, no one talks about that. So you don't know who this man is sleeping with. Like this man can be seen you tonight, we can wake up in another bed. You know what I mean? So it's like, and half the time you don't know because it's really hard to find people with morals and values in this generation. So you don't know who this person's talking to. He's having sexual relations with other girls that you have no idea. And he's coming back, having sexual relations with you. And now it's you got a whole 10 people in the room with you. Yeah, I don't even know it. You can't see them. Right? Right. No, you're 1000%. Right. But it's scary. So it's like rather save yourself rather than like, you're not liberating yourself. Yeah, that's not like you're not liberating yourself. You're enslaving yourself to your flesh. And you're making yourself more empty. You're filling a void. Yeah, that it's like, you're gonna keep trying to fill it and you're gonna, you're gonna be more fucking confused. That's what I'm saying. I 1000% agree. And I feel like so many girls try to like, justify they're like, Oh, he chose me for tonight. For tonight, girl, like, listen to yourself. Like, if you cared about yourself, truly, you would have like, a process that this man needs to go to, to even access your energy to even like be around. Are you looking outside to like, why are you learning? Why are you looking for external sources to satisfy you and to bring you joy to bring you security to bring you comfort? Like look inside, right? Sit down with yourself. And that's what I'm saying to it also like, when obviously when we die and we go to heaven or wherever we're going. Um, I mean, I don't know. But um, you're like you don't take your money, you don't take your clothes, you don't take your friends, you have your soul. And we spend so much time spending it on all these worldly things that we'll never see, like in heaven, we'll never see them again. And in other lives, even they will never reflect that what you carry always is your soul. Yeah, it's your soul. And we spend so much time feeding into these worldly things instead of feeding into our souls. Eight. That's why there was this quote that I listened to the other day. And it was the girl I don't know what it said, but it was like, some people believe that religion is like a specific like a vessel to keep the soul like pure. You know what I mean? Yeah, like, spirituality, keep yourself one. And so it's very important to take care of yourself, your health, your wellness, your mind, your body, the physical, because it's like, we're going to be led into temptation, right, certain things. So it's like, instead of, like, using this experience as a human, and we can use those terms, you know, universal code. Yeah. Like, why, why spend all that time looking into more darkness, you know, yeah, you're only gonna, you're gonna find yourself at a rabbit hole, you're gonna fall down, you're gonna look up one day and be like, holy shit, like, right, I just dug myself so deep. Now I have to lay in my grave. Right. And all those guys that pretended to care about you, they're going to be nowhere to be found, it's going to be yourself, like you are the only one that's going to be able to take yourself out of that place. And it's like, you know, what was another thing that I feel like in this generation, we also deal a lot with with you know, just like I say, however, however you want. Like, on hypersexuality, like in my generation, I was one thing because I grew up with different friend groups. But I grew up mainly in like, friend groups that were like, more religion, religious. Oh, really? So you got to like a lot of religious friends. I like I've never like you are probably one of my like, my friends now are one of the first friends I've ever had that I speak about religion with. Yeah. And it's like, I genuinely like pray for like, friends like that. Yeah, because it's a different, it's a different level and understanding that you get between each other. And it's also like, that's why it's important to look for friendships. And when you're looking for a partner, or when you're looking to congregate yourself with people and make a community, that's always saying one good, like, entry to that is the church. Yeah. To get yourself into the community. Oh, people are going to be like, Oh, well, I don't like the church. The church is hypocrite. Like, I've been in synagogues where people are like, I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. I don't like the church. But it's like, okay, then those weren't your people and they aren't learning and that's not for you. Like you move on and they are reflecting. When people are like that, I realize that a lot of the times they're like, it's a reflection of how they feel inside. They're so scared to be this or be that. So when they see the ounce of that in somebody else, then they project and they, that comes out in really harsh way. I kind of, I don't, I always like reference when people act like angry or like certain things and I call them demonic spirits because I'm like, people who act like that, but if you're angry at the fact that like, I look at certain things like a certain way or something angers you, like it's just something that's triggering, little demonic spirit that's just like getting angry at the truth. I also feel like, well, definitely just lost my train of thought. You keep talking. It's hard. It's hard recording podcast. People don't notice it, but what were you saying again? Sorry, refresh. You were saying about the demonic spirits and that's like what you call like Oh, when people have like bad habits or like bad like emotions or if like I'm doing something and it should not be triggering you and something like good with like, like integrity and it's triggering you, it's because there's something demonic and bad in you that's being triggered at the light that I bring into the room because light and darkness can't exist in the same room. Once light walks in demonic, like not demonic, but darkness flees, right? So it's like only one of us can be in the room, right? Like they can't go there. So there's something in them that gets angry. Don't relax. May the Lord be with you. Thank you. But I was going to say, I was going to say also, I feel like a lot of people forget that like love is not limited. Like there is so much love to go around and I feel like people don't get here. Like when your friend, I'm sure we've all had that time where like a friend is like, I want to talk to every guy that I talk to and like, and obviously that's from a place of insecurity, but people don't realize like there's love for everybody. Like my love story might appear like earlier on and somebody else's might appear in such a different way. But you know what I mean? Like we're not limited when it comes to love. There's so much of it to go around. And I think a lot of people also, what they mess up on doing when they love is they seek out the bad thing first. And sometimes you have to seek the goodness out of people first and look for love. Because I also feel like as a generation, we do a really bad job at like advertising or not advertising, like how does love displays? Because I feel like a lot of people, you hear love and it's like, you're instantly Cinderella. But not many were taught love in the right way. Yeah. So it's also like a generational thing. I agree. That it's like, a lot of us are poisoned, not by our parents, because not that our parents were trying to do it in like the wrong way, but they weren't taught a specific way. So I just feel like... Line meeting the line. Yeah. The reason why people think love is so limited and they act in that way, it's because they're looking for external sources. You're going to be limited when it comes to work. Right. Like you have to look within you, sit with yourself, refine, you know, in the Bible it says like refining, Jesus like refines silver. Like focus on you, focus on the good, focus on taking out the bad. And once you find that within yourself, you're going to be so busy with yourself that eventually you look up and you're going to be like the man standing right in front of you, right here, here's your man, you're ready. You spent all that time that you were supposed to on yourself. And also another thing, kind of relate back to like the main topic of the hookup culture. I remember when I was younger, like when I was growing up, I was put into like CCD, which is like a Catholic youth group and everything. Like I was very much like raised religious and then kind of got brought into spirituality through my mom. But I remember just seeing movies and everything and I related sex to love. Like I linked them so heavily together. And I remember the first time that I slept with like my first boyfriend or whatever, I was like, Oh, like we're in love because we slept together. Like I was so ignorant and like, it wasn't like it was something that I had to learn on my own. But like, I was like, sex and love is like the same thing. And I had to learn the hard way, obviously. Like, it's crazy that no, but I was just saying, I had to learn. It's crazy because the way we work, it's like we have both different perspectives on it For me, like growing up, did I see like sex and love link itself a lot? Yeah. But I was like, that's just an act of love. Like being intimate with each other. Because sex is an act of love. But to me, it was like, with my first I was like, I didn't enjoy it. Like it just obviously I felt like I just I didn't I didn't where am I going with this? I don't like I just don't look at sex the same. You know what I mean? So why don't you look at it the same? Because I was I was raised in just such a different perspective. So it's like, for me, like, that I'm telling you yesterday, I don't care if we have problems in the bedroom. Like that to me, like I can wait, I can wait for marriage, I can wait till I'm engaged. I can I can wait. For me, sex is like the last thing. Like, is it the thing that unites you guys together? Yes. But it's like the last thing I necessarily like, look for. Right? Like you want other boxes to be filled. Yeah, other boxes have to be filled before that door opens. Yeah. Yeah. Which makes sense. But yeah, it's weird. Because everybody I feel like grows up with such a like, different opinion and like perspective on sex. And like, when you grow up, yeah, and love, of course, I feel like when you grow up, it's like up to you. Like, it's like, yeah, you've heard this. And you've heard that. But it's like, what's real to you? Yeah, you really find out? Yeah, no, that's very true. Yeah. But I think one thing that we think differently on, which I feel like it would be interesting to talk about, because I'm sure if we think differently on it, other people will too. But I remember we were talking about, I was saying like, I don't think that like, you need to wait till marriage at all. Yeah, I, I think that you just need to have to move in or to have sex. Well, I'm talking about sex, but we were also talking about two, because we can touch on both. Because I also said, we originally had this conversation. And I said that, I don't think I would wait until I was engaged to move in with somebody, I think I would want to like, live with them first. And to kind of like, really know, like, are we going to like be able to like, coexist in the same household, whatever. But also with sex, I think that I obviously wouldn't do like right away, I think there'd be a tedious process. Yeah. With sex. Yes, with sex. But I don't think that I would necessarily wait till marriage. To have sex. And I don't think that other people need to, I think it's more or less about that connection. It's more personal, yeah. I think it's more, just because my experience with love has been brutal. And it was like, the devil knows how to get you in specific ways and areas of your life. And I feel like, as a woman, and naturally, we look for love, and we look for men, and we tend to idolize being in a relationship. So it's like, for me, I'd rather be able to look at a man like, without being blinded first. And I don't like, I would just, I would like to wait to marriage to be more secure, to save myself more. Does that make sense? Yeah. Because it's like, I don't know. I think it's more of like a personal thing, that it's like, I'd rather just be more safe than sorry. And it's more of like, I have to, it's like an agreement with myself. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, it is, you don't have to wait. Will I probably wait? You know, who knows? But is that my intention with it? Yeah, for sure. Right. Which I feel like, also going into it with that intention is very, like, really smart. And then if it doesn't happen that way, then like... If it happens a little bit. Yeah. We'll remix. Then it happens that way. But yeah. What about your opinion on the moving in? Well, I just feel like, I would be, I would have, like I told you, I was like, I have to be engaged. And it has to be like, did I tell you this? Yeah. It has to be like two months before, like the wedding. Right. Just because when you put yourself under the same roof with that person, like, there's a lot of other problems that are going to sneak in. And EGLE likes to divide instead of unite. And so I feel like there can be a lot of opportunities that like, come out and make you guys, instead of uniting and bringing in that intention of marriage and being already married and living in the same, under the same household, it can kind of ruin it. And there's opportunities and specific spaces that you're allowing to leave open. Does that make sense? Yeah. You're being open for like certain... It's like, if I'm willing to marry you, I hope we can live under the same roof. Right. I hope your communication is just as good as mine and we can make this work. Right. You know what I mean? Because like, then there's also that other route that if we move in together, we're not married yet. I just need to see if we co-exist together. Okay, then of course you don't. Right. Like, now you just, let's say you guys have been together for eight years, no engagement, like, living together. Honey, that ring ain't coming. Right. Honey, that ring ain't coming. So like, you like, are kind of talking about getting stuck. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, just preserving myself as much as I can. Yeah. To know that the one that God is bringing me is the one that God is bringing you. I feel like my mindset with it versus yours is I feel like you're like, okay, the longer I wait for these big things, like the more like their character will show. And I feel like me, I'm like, oh, I'll move in because like, I'm going to know like exactly who they are. Because like, when you're not with each other 24 seven, which I don't think you should ever be together 24 seven. But like, obviously, when you're living with each other, like, you're coming home, you're sleeping in the same bed, whatever, like you're dividing chores. I feel like there's not a lot of room for their character to hide. So it's like, oh, you could have said this and that. I know. I'm like, The holy water didn't wake up in the middle of the night. No, I'm just kidding. But see, like, so that's kind of my mindset. I'm like, you could have told me X, Y, and B. Yeah. We're right in front of each other. Like, it's kind of like, where can you hide? That's why it's like, with that, I do feel like I play, I feel like whatever route you take it, there's cons to something. Whatever route you take it from, it doesn't like matter. So like, there's cons and like, there's going to be issues in each corner. You're going to find a little duff somewhere. Right. So it's like, I guess, perspective and, I don't know, experience and just wanting to do things differently because I want to, if I want a different outcome, I just got to do it differently. Right. And I guess like, at the end of it, I feel like our intentions are both very pure with our answers. And even though they're different, like, I respect your answer and I feel like you respect mine. But I feel like, Of course. Yeah, right. No, I'm never judging you. This is your life where you're all for experience. Exactly. I feel like at the end of the day, like, we're talking about this and whatever, and everybody has to kind of take like their journey their own way, though. And I think the most important part of it is not like what you do, but like where your intentions are. Yeah. And where they lie. Yeah. Because I feel like a lot of people, they just, they don't evaluate their intentions and then they're like, why did this turn out this way? A lot of people just feel like, like I said, again, back to generation thing, a lot of their parents weren't raised certain morals and certain values. Of course, they're not going to be able to pass it on to their child. And so I feel like a lot of people have become so blinded because their parents were blinded or they don't look. So a lot of people don't self-reflect and they don't become aware of, okay, let me sit down with myself and let me see, like, where could be certain places that I'm destroying my soul and making myself more impure and I'm blinding my soul. You know what I mean? Yeah. Do you see a difference with your friends that were raised in like churches or with spirituality than your friends that like don't follow a religion or like have never really known? Yeah. I've actually, it's crazy. I've seen females hide behind religion and be the biggest like schemers. They're calculated. Have you heard that? The Catholic Calculators. Yeah. It's like a phrase. It's like, yeah, they're calculated as fuck. Oh yeah. And it's scary too because like I said, the devil knows your word just as good as God. So it's like, or just as good as Jesus. So I've seen female friendships where I've had horrible, really bad experience, traumatizing experience with them. And they just use, like people can learn psychology, people can learn religion, but they can use it in twisted and use like dark. Right. You know what I mean? And then I've also met people outside of the church, hence you, and it's like they have, or even ones that aren't raised, cause it's like the ones that aren't raised in religion, you can tell they're not raised in a household where the mom or the dad, or they're not taught morals and values. And you can off bat tell that like the energy doesn't lie. You're right. But you find both like in like the church too, like you find the worst people at the church too. So it's like, that's why I'm, I'm with church, but I'm also. But like what you said is very true. I feel like the energy doesn't lie. When you're authentic, you're authentic. You can talk all you want, you can, but. Yeah, but what's real is real. Light and darkness can't exist in the same, so. I agree. And I think one thing that's really comforting, cause I feel like a lot of people have a lot of anxieties towards like relationships and friendships and whatever. And so many people get like angry and upset and they let that kind of corrupt their character because of religion. Yeah. Well, religion and themselves, because I feel like people have these bad experiences with people. And like, I know there's like, I can't tell you the exact name of the quote in the Bible, but it was basically saying like bad company corrupts good character. And at first it's like kind of when your mom's like you hang, like who you hang out with is who you become. It says in the Bible, tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. And like, I remember like my mom would say that. I'm like, girl, like, I'm like, you're like, you're making this up. Like, that's such a cliche, whatever. But it's true because like people get hurt and then from the same place that that person hurt them, then they work from a place of hurt. And then you get kind of get into this cycle where hurt people hurt people. And then when does that stop, though? When do you stop in your tracks and you're like, I'm hurt. And I have this feeling that I want to like gossip or I want to hurt this person back. But then you're feeding into this cycle like people. Revenge isn't for us though. Yeah. Like you're that's where you're not allowing God to take over and take control. Because once you put it in your hands, you take it out of hit like God. Right. Like that's not for you. And people also understand it's like they're so worried about others around you. Worry about yourself. Like this life is about you and God and no one else. People are like that person hurts you. Like don't go out and do the same thing. Right. Be different and know that like, OK, now I have the knowledge and wisdom. Now I have the knowledge and wisdom to not go ahead and do it to others. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like have that hold on your energy, take away your energy, drain it and corrupt your soul, like or even corrupt certain parts of you that's like, I want to hurt this person. Yeah. Like don't be that person. Exactly. Why bring more evil and darkness into this world? We already have enough of it. Yeah. Please enough. Stop. But it's hard, though. I think a lot of people are like, oh, like also like just a whole stigma stigma with like, oh, if you're vulnerable, you're weak. But it's like being vulnerable is one of the most courageous things that you can do. So brave. And I don't know, like, I guess I'm trying to tie things back to the culture, because I feel like we've drifted from it, which is fine, because that's like where we wanted to go and where we went. It kind of just kind of ties the whole thing together, because it's like keeping your keeping your soul pure, like not giving yourself to the world, not giving yourself to people. Be careful how, you know, you act with others. Right. Like the whole point of it is like just keeping your soul as pure as possible and like preserving it and how the culture is just. It corrupts it. Yeah. It really takes away from it. And I like genuinely like when I say like, oh, like I'm not trying to be judgmental. Like when I hear stories like this, like before, dude, I used to hear I'll finish and then I'll pass it to you. But I used to be like, oh, my gosh, like, that's so gross. But now I'm like, I genuinely want to help these people, because it's like how. Yeah. Like how sad and like how alone do you have to be that you're pushing away these like beautiful emotions and you're genuinely cutting a piece of your soul short because of your decisions. Yeah. And it's like, oh, it's not that I'm judging. And it's like I've been told that by like not family members, but it's like when I when I speak, it's like I'm not judging. You are not judging. Yeah. If anything, you're helping because it's constructive criticism. Right. God is a just God. And when people are like, oh, well, what you said isn't loving. It's like, OK, well, to the standards. Right. You know what I mean? I'm letting you know that this is like my perspective and I do differently because of my experiences were not perfect. Yeah. So I had to go because I'm the type of person that my mom can tell me A through Z, but there's maybe a few letters in the alphabet that I'm going to go ahead and try out for myself. You know what I mean? So it's like through experiences, like gaining wisdom through those experiences, like we want to help others. Right. And it's not to judge, it's to build each other up. And it's like tough love. Like I know that there's a few girls on TikTok that they literally go on there and they're like, get a fucking grip, like respect yourself. Get a backbone. Yeah. And I love those videos because I'm like, you're fucking right. I'm like, who the fuck am I to fucking disrespect myself? If I'm disrespecting myself, then of course other people are going to go and disrespect me. You have high value. Yeah. Every single woman has a high value. No matter what. You have a value. Stop discounting yourself for less. Right. To have access. If I want to be with him or I want to use him, he's not going to pay attention to me because if I don't sleep with him or if I don't open my legs, girl, close those legs because I don't care who you are. That's a demonic spirit. And I'm telling you, like, yeah, like not having sex might not be easy. Like, yes, there's going to be temptation and we all are like human. Like we have those urges and whatever. You know what else isn't easy? A relationship, a marriage, a baby. With a man that you don't even know or God knows what. That's what I'm saying. So like, yeah, it might not be easy, girl. But what do you want, a broken family or a broken heart? Because I'll choose broken heart over and over again. Yeah, literally. No, it's like, just save yourself from it. There's no point. I'm telling you, like, the man out there is for you. Like, he's there. He's got to be there. Oh, they're closing the day. They are? I think so. Like, there's no reason to rush. There's no reason to rush the process. Like, take it day by day. You know, and that's another thing is also like we're in our 20s. And so this generation, it's like, oh, you're in your 20s. You're young, you're wild, you're free. Like, do whatever you want. Like, you're never going to be this hot again. You're never going to be this again. It's like. You're right. It's like, I want to ordain my steps. Yeah. But I also don't want to, like, look back and be like. I didn't do enough. Yeah. Or like. I'm having fun. Right. Like, I'm having fun. But I'm also not trying to look back and be like, I, yeah. Okay. No, no, no. That's not what I'm trying to say. Sorry. I'm a little distracted. But I'm trying to say, like, you can have fun. Yeah. But also not fuck yourself over for your future. You know what I mean? Like, no, not to be mean. And this is going to be that tough love. But no high value man wants to make some slut his wife. Yeah. That was a very harsh love. But I mean. Yeah. Yeah. The choice was right. Yeah. I should have been like. Yeah. No. Um. I feel like it's like a whole culture because it's not only like corrupting the women. But I feel like it's weird. It's also corrupting men and their ideas when it comes to relationships and when it comes to women and girls are like, oh, well, it's liberating yourself. Wear what you want. Love yourself. Yeah. I'm not going into the abortion topic now, but like, you know. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like. Yeah. Like, no, like, don't don't do yourself like that. Yeah. Do not do yourself like that. And on top of that, like, no, like you said, like, no high value man's going to like when you do find them and are not even doing all those things from A to Z can also make you miss your mark. You know what I mean? Like. Right. Because if you're caught up doing like all these things and God says you that man, you're going to miss him. And then you're just left with like and I am not going to lie. There are certain like family members in my family that have had hard being raised in really bad ways and have really bad relationships when it comes to men. And you'll see a lot of them still like I'm not. God forbid, maybe that mark comes again, but it looks like they've missed their mark. Right. And that's like a one generational curse in my family on my mom's side that it's like issues with men. Right. Don't. And that's also another thing is that we have to also look into our families. It's like, what do like my my dad struggled with smoking and I struggled with smoking nicotine and still a little bit like I still have that temptation. Like right. You have to break like the generational curse. Like we also have these issues that arise now in our life that we think are also like really bad cycles and hypersexuality or or being like too much with sex and all that stuff. It's like we also have to look at like what's going on. Everything is really off here. Pray about it. Mm hmm. I agree. And if you need guidance, obviously, I feel like like the Bible is a really good place to go. And you're the guide. Yeah. And if you're not comfortable going to the church, I feel like, yeah, definitely like the Bible is a podcast. Like there's so many different podcasts you can find online that like they talk about many different experiences and different topics. Even if you don't go to church, you don't have to. Yeah. Don't limit yourself. You don't have to be in church. You don't have to go to church to have a relationship with God. So or any other being. God is within you. Look. Look within you. Look in the Bible. And right there, he'll meet with you. I agree. A hundred percent. But we do have to wrap up. I know. I'm so sad. We do have to wrap it up early. If you guys want a part two to this, because I feel like we still like have so much to say. Like I still I feel like I could go and go ramble. Right. And if you guys have any topics, if you want to see Nazeeba on again, please let us know. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really happy we had this conversation. I'm glad we picked this as this week's topic. But it opens up a whole different door. Yeah. Hopefully itches the right brains out there. It makes. Take what you can from it. Leave what doesn't resonate with you. That's exciting. If it itches your brain. If you can. Can they leave us like questions? Yeah. Ask questions. Like. Yeah. Oh my God. I would love to answer questions. Yeah. So yeah. This is it. Any last comments, questions, concerns? No. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Yeah. Thank you for coming on. Bye.