No Longer Doing Time

The speaker discusses how they choose to spend their time, highlighting their enjoyment of activities such as watching TV shows, reading books, and listening to audiobooks. They mention their contentment with their simple lifestyle and the freedom they have to make choices. They also mention their ability to have certain items delivered to them and their appreciation for the small luxuries they have, like clean clothes and showers. The speaker expresses their lack of interest in socializing and their preference for being alone. They mention their satisfaction with their current living situation, despite not having a permanent address. They emphasize their ability to access the things they enjoy without the need for subscriptions or advertisements. They express contentment with not being a tourist and being able to experience the world virtually. The speaker acknowledges that their lifestyle may not be appealing to everyone. I've talked about doing time before filling in time, finding things to do saying we all do that hopefully I do things I like often they're just things that I can do because I have to do something but I've realised that it's not true actually, I'm not doing time I'm not just trying to get through the day to the next day, to the next day even though time seems to be moving very quickly for me very quickly speeding up even though I'm doing less long periods of alone solitude time speeds up, strangely enough um but I choose what I do it may not seem like choices, good choices maybe to others that's true, not everybody would want to choose what it is I choose but I like it I am at peace with my choices I am happy when the weather is bad I mean cold is tricky, damp is tricky but I'm wrapped up and I don't feel cold I've got no external heating on but I feel comfortable it's about just over 10 degrees in here 50, 52 degrees Fahrenheit that's fine um three hats a cap a spell cap a hood and then a thick hood that's on my dressing gown but I'm cozy and I'm watching something the fifth episode of a six part series that I've enjoyed I've got a number of things to watch, a few films and I check regularly what's on YouTube to see if some of my favorite channels have something interesting for me to watch I'm listening to an audio book about the life the work of a prison psychiatrist who has dealt with sex offenders and pedophiles and murderers she's very, while she's not reading it and she's British the woman who is reading it I am happy to listen to sometimes I'm interested in an audio book but the person they've chosen to read it if it's not the author I don't like their voice so I can't listen and I'm reading a very interesting book as well I go through between one and two books a week on my e-reader I usually do a lot of reading at night but occasionally during the day if I don't have anything I fancy watching and it's a very dull day so I'm more sparing with my electricity use I'll just read no electricity, it's already charged and I'm just happy being on my own I went to meditation class yesterday or group, it's not a class and tomorrow I'll have a couple of hours with Eliza who is certainly far more challenging than I first experienced and but then so it's not like I have a continuous period of isolation, solitude there is something that brings me out of it my little very part-time job and time with the meditators and if I want to, each morning or each weekday morning and each evening I can go and get a meal it gives me something to change things up a bit I'm not always getting a meal and I don't always have breakfast but it's nice to know that I can just do it without complication the simplest of things for me to be able to do just go, choose, walk away and then discover unexpected treats that might be in the bag the breakfast is the same every day and it's lovely it's funny how you can just eat the same breakfast every day I mean I've done that before not a cooked breakfast like this but find something I like and then just keep eating it and there's something really lovely about it and also it's free and I don't have to cook it and I don't have to wash up the dish and I don't have to say a word the guy who cooks knows what I want I just say good morning and they go sit down I don't converse with the other people there I sometimes hear some of their conversation but I'm not interested in having one I just sit quietly there's another person, a woman who's been homeless for a long time she just does her own thing, she's a bit weird and everyone just lets her be and I'm the same, I don't get involved I'm just quiet but as soon as I finish I'm out of there my life is simple and I like it and I notice I need bananas, I walk to the shop and buy some sometimes I have to wait a day they may not always have some decent ones but they'll get them in eventually and I've taken to eating a can of peaches lovely, every day, I probably mentioned it sometimes I even have two, spoilt and I'm OK I don't miss anyone I don't think, I don't reminisce except perhaps in these moments but I'm not thinking about people from the past I suppose every so often a thought comes into me but it's not something I have to dwell on and especially as I do talk about this stuff or whatever seems relevant in these recordings it doesn't really happen very often I get to take my cannabis medicine and I do it in the van and I don't do it on days when I'm going to spend time with others usually so by default I have days off on a Tuesday, I don't go to meditation altered high I don't look after Eliza high so I have some time off in a sense but I would go to the library and sit there watching something or on the internet having taken something and I have done and I like it especially once it gets colder and I'll be spending more of my day in there I'll do so that way I've got plenty of water access to water and a nice toilet I'm good and that's all I need if I need to replace something I can do so really easily if I can't find it in town and it's only a small place I can still order online Amazon delivers to a locker in the shopping centre near here and I can have some things if they're small delivered to K's because it can go through the letterbox anything else I just pick up at the hub, the click and collect it's very easy, it's very lovely for someone who has no address to be able to have things delivered and not have to wait in at the same time I don't want for much I get a lot of things free, all my toiletries I've got plenty of toothbrushes and toothpaste and deodorant and shower gel and even if I don't have it I can use hand wash it's all soap to me just having a shower is a luxury and when the other day I bumped into Kay who said spontaneous shower I didn't have anything with me of course but she's got some hand towels I can use and I just used the hand soap works fine when I need my clothes washing I can take a bag of laundry to where I eat breakfast and they'll do it for me wash it and dry it may take a couple of days, three days depending how busy they are they only have one machine only have one dryer but it gets done and that's a lovely privilege to have clothes, clean clothes I do wash smalls myself sometimes I'm sitting next to a nice radiator in the library and it's a great place to dry socks on but even doing that isn't necessary with a little bag I can drop in I don't take it for granted I've only used them once in the five months I've been here but I know I can use them and that's what matters I am OK in a simple way I don't get involved in the news if I see something I'm able to not read it scan the headlines of something that are an interesting place that has unusual and if I see even just as I start to read it it isn't something I'm interested in I can move straight on to the next one and have no memory of what that previous one was I just keep myself to myself I'm not affected by all the housing issues and fuel costs I'm only concerned with the price of diesel but as I don't use it much I don't need to put any in my tank is still full so it's about I am here I'm not doing time I'm here in this moment in the present and the vast majority of what takes place I choose and the order that it happens and whether I continue doing it or stop that and do something else it's all in my choice and freedom normally, often, one needs plenty loads of money to have reached freedom but then they've got lots of toys to play with lovely, sure how I would love to have the opportunity to drive one of the Ferraris for half a day even a few hours of course I would, I love playing with toys but I don't need to own one so, it's relative I have enough money and I earn a little bit too, which actually covers the cost of the van I have enough that's nice but if I am doing something that is teaching me something, it's a challenging thing for me to do to be around this strange person who I also have feelings that I recognise attraction it's a weird experience, there's so much going on so I realise how relevant that is as my current work plus it is, she is part of a family that I have known for two decades and still like whenever I'm around that's very rare for me so I think of them as my family because I don't have a family except when I'm around them and I do it's very interesting for me but for the most, for the vast majority of my time I'm alone as you know and I am not suffering or struggling with my mental health I was last time, I was living on wheels and only wanted to find a way out of it and sure I wouldn't mind sleeping in a proper bed I certainly wouldn't mind having a bath living inside is not something I'm against it's just not something I can have at this time not if I want the peace of mind I get here it's not perfect it's not as comfortable but it is mine and I say what happens to it and I can come and go from it as I please without having to share it I've never been good at sharing I don't mind sharing I certainly don't mind giving myself, sharing things that I have I don't like to give things away I have done before and almost always regret it but I've never been very good at sharing I just do my thing, my way and no matter who the other person is it always becomes a problem for me at some point and it isn't a problem now I don't really have an online presence I had a few people that I would talk to from time to time but I don't, they're disappearing I'm not on forums, I don't have a social media so apart from a visit to YouTube and a few other technology websites I don't really do much oh and of course films and TV shows downloading that's probably the biggest part of my online activity because from that I get everything books audio everything, music everything is available there's almost nothing that should I should it come to my attention that I might be interested in there's almost nothing that I won't be able to actually have and that to me is also a privilege I don't have to have subscriptions and payments and I don't have to deal with advertising and none of that I can just have it and then carry on simple and I really appreciate it because I don't want to not have the things that I like because what I like is simple I give up, let go of, aren't interested in so much of what everyone else likes so that I just focus on having what I actually do like I don't need to go anywhere, I don't need to see anything I am far from being a tourist but when I live, this is my land, I've seen all the things I would want to see more than once I don't need to go anywhere else that I haven't seen because I've had the opportunity to see many things in the world be in many places and that's brilliant sure there are some places I never managed to see never got to see and would still be interested in but I make no effort to see them virtually is good enough I don't need to move my body physically there I am happy just being here and I can imagine and I can look and I have access to the world from within this van I don't even have to go to the library as I used to I can do everything in this van if I want and that's lovely, there's freedom in that, real freedom but it might not be everybody's cup of tea