Episode 19 Body & Outro

Life is a journey filled with experiences, challenges, and opportunities. Focusing only on the destination can cause us to miss out on the richness of the journey. The speaker shares personal examples of how he neglected to enjoy the process and suffered as a result. He emphasizes the importance of embracing the journey and offers tips such as setting clear intentions, practicing mindfulness, embracing setbacks as opportunities for growth, and seeking support from others on a similar journey. So why is it essential to focus on the journey? Well, think about it this way. Life is a series of experiences, challenges, and opportunities. It's a journey filled with the ups and the downs, the twists, the turns, obstacles, challenges. And if we're only fixated on the destination itself, we risk missing out on the riches of the experiences. So I want you to do something for me. Picture this, you have a dream job in mind, or career, and you're working tirelessly to get there, day and night, every week, every month, every quarter, every year. You're so focused on reaching that destination, more money, more hourly wage, greater salary, hitting that sales quota, getting that promotion. You're so focused on that, that everything in between, you forget to enjoy the process, the learning, the growth, and the people that you meet along the way. So when you finally hit that dream job, that promotion, that sales quota, you realize that that journey to get there was just as valuable as the job itself. Now, fast forward, you're 12 months older. This hit me like a ton of bricks. I did this for several years, starting in 2015 of building my first business. For five plus years, I did this very same thing. I had one goal in mind, and that was all I was focused on. Everything in between, the people that I meet, the experiences, the learning, the growth, none of that mattered. All that mattered was that goal. That left me building this business, feeling unfulfilled, stuck, lost, unhappy, when I picked my head up and was sick and tired of being sick and tired after five years of this happening. Another example, it's like climbing a mountain. Here recently, in September of 2023, I recently climbed literally a mountain. I showed up with my wife at 6 a.m. in the morning. I was competing in the Spartan Beast in Killington, Vermont. I had been focused on my nutrition, my electrolytes, for leading up the week of, really tweaking my macros, showing up the day of, having a good nutritionist breakfast to endure this four-hour race, which I had never done before. One of the things that I had realized after learning from my experience of building the insurance company and just focusing on that destination, I told myself I will not let that happen again. I will enjoy the experiences. I will enjoy the applied suffering, the struggles, the perseverance, the breathtaking views along the way. As hard as that may sound, it's easier said than done, but what it does is it makes it truly worthwhile. And so when I lined up to the starting line of the Spartan Brace, I didn't know what it was gonna look like for the next two, three, four, five hours. I didn't just care about finishing the finish line as what I would have done in the past, just like any area of life. Once I get the $100,000 bank, once I get that promotion, once I hit that sales quota, that is the destination. If that's all you focus on, I assure you, you will be left unfulfilled, stuck, lost, unhappy by just focusing on that. So I was intentional about every step up this mountain of 6,000 elevation along this mountain. Once I started off that starting line, every ounce of my body, every step enjoyed the journey. Yes, it sucked. Yes, it was struggles. Yes, there was obstacles, 35 plus of them. But every moment I got, I tried to reflect and enjoy the journey. The guy next to me that was suffering just like I was. The breathtaking views when I got up to the 6,000 in elevation. The moment I put the 50-pound sandbag on my back to carry it up 200 yards of the mountain and got four hours into the race. At that point, it was applied suffering. It sucked. It was a struggle. But if I would have been focused just on the destination, I wouldn't have learned anything about myself in that moment. I wouldn't have learned anything about taking one step. I don't have to take 15 strides. Just take one step and you're gonna be that much closer. You learn so much about yourself when you're in that journey, when you're enduring the process and embracing the suck. It's those moments that are vital to enjoying that process. So Sean, this all sounds great and all, but what are some ways that we can take, what are some action steps that we can enjoy and endure the process like what you're talking about? How can we shift our mindset? How can we embrace the journey? These are all good questions. These are all questions that I had to ask myself. And I wanna give you a few tips that have helped me embrace the suck, embrace the journey every single day. Number one is set clear intentions for your journey just like I've shared with you. I did not have clear intentions when I started the business, the first business. But with this Spartan Beast race, I set clear intentions. You also want to understand why are you pursuing a particular goal? And I've shared this in previous episodes, but when you have a goal, there's three things that I recommend doing. One is what is it, what's the goal? Okay, to finish, to race in the Spartan Killington beast. The second one is why? Why am I pursuing that goal? And the third one is what? I'm pursuing that goal because I want to learn, I want to understand about myself because the core value of mine is self-mastery. The moments that I wanna quit, the moments that I wanna give up, the moments that I wanna say, nope, I'm not crossing that finish line, what goes through my mind is if I say no, my mind is if I say no to this, if I quit now, what else am I gonna say no to? What else am I gonna quit? Am I gonna quit my wife? Am I gonna quit my family? Am I gonna quit my business? Am I gonna throw in the towel? Because how you do one thing is how you do everything. So tip number one is set the clear intentions for the journey. So this particular was, I wanna run the Spartan Beast. Like I said, number two is the why. I've shared that with you. Number three is the how. How am I gonna get across that finish line? That comes down to the nutrition, the electrolytes, the putting one foot in front of the other, using the resources, learning, growing, looking at YouTube videos the night before, making sure I know how to tackle the obstacles, making sure I understand the different, the elevation. This clarity will help you not only stay motivated but will also help you stay focused. This is enduring the journey. Versus just, I just wanna cross the finish line. Then what's the point of the entire four hours that I was on that mountain? It was all for nothing, just for crossing the finish line. Number two is practice mindfulness. This is a struggle, this is hard because I have to be very intentional about this. What I mean by this is you want to savor the present moment, even in the midst of challenges. When I was going through those 35 obstacles, when I was going through climbing up 6,000 elevation of mountain, in the midst of all these challenges and obstacles and setbacks, when guys and girls were passing me, it's amazing what you can learn when you fully are present in the journey about yourself. And this is how you level up. This is how you become 1% better than you were yesterday. It's learning about yourself in those moments, in those times. How do you show up, how do you talk to yourself? So tip number two, practice mindfulness. Savor those present moments. Number three, embrace the setbacks as opportunities for growth. Let me explain. Instead of seeing these obstacles, for me in this instance, I was going up this mountain, this 6,000 of elevation, putting one foot in front of the other, embracing the suck, applied suffering. I had these 35 obstacles that were tough, they were very challenging, and I had failed multiple of them. They were just roadblocks. So instead of just seeing them as roadblocks, I'm done, I'm throwing in the towel, no way I can get across that. I didn't train for it, I wasn't aware of it, I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna quit, I'm gonna walk around it. No. I viewed them as stepping stones that would make me stronger and wiser. Whether that was getting one foot through the obstacle and falling down, or whether that was getting all the way through, I was viewing the setback and the obstacle as a stepping stone. And reflecting on that, I can do that, what's next? I can get through this obstacle, what's next? If I can get through up this elevation and down the other side, what's next? It's just stepping stones. Number four, and this is something that has been proven for decades, and something that I didn't learn up until 24 months ago. Seek support and connect with others on a similar journey. By surrounding yourself and by linking with people that are sharing similar experiences, like for me in this instance, the guy next to me that's running and sharing this similar experience, these similar obstacles and setbacks. One of the things that I had found was is that the guys that I had raced with, they had already done this before, and I hadn't. So they were willing, because I embraced that vulnerability, they were willing to share with me the setbacks and the challenges and the obstacles that they had already went through previous to this race, that helped me cut the learning curve in half. It's a game changer, because if I would have never opened up that this was my first race, those guys would have never have shared with me, hey, make sure when we start this, you don't come out of the gates too hot. This is a three, four hour race, pace yourself. When you're going up the mountains, make sure you don't run out of gas. Make sure you pace yourself. When you're going up the mountains, make sure you don't run. Make sure you walk up the mountains. Oh, and on top of that, when you're going down the mountain, when you're going down the elevation, make sure you don't run. Why? Because you're gonna attach your quads. You need to walk down the mountain. And then when they're straightaways, you need to run. Make sure you hydrate, make sure you have fuel, make sure you have gels, make sure you have carbs. Listen to me, I'm the type of guy, in the past, the 34 years, I would have been like, I'll figure this out, I'll muster through it, I'll tough it out. That doesn't work. Because I'm just focused on the destination. I'm just focusing on getting through it. But instead, by leaning on others, by seeking support, by understanding what they've already went through that they can share with me by embracing the vulnerability, that allows me to enjoy that four hours and 22 minutes across that finish line. And when you cross that finish line, that's just the cherry on top. Because every step of the way, it was reflecting on what I had learned by seeking the support, embracing that vulnerability, by connecting with these other people that are on the journey that I was on. And you can do the same thing. And finally, remember that it's okay to pivot or change your destination. My goals have changed over the last several years. If it no longer aligns with who you've become in your journey, then it's okay to evolve. It's okay to change these goals around and your destination. And remember, these goals will evolve if you're evolving and leveling up. In conclusion, remember that this is a journey. It's as much as a destination at any endpoint you have in mind. So I highly implore you to be intentional about the process, embrace the ups and the downs, and become the best version of yourself along the way. When you reach that destination, like I did to cross the finish line after four hours and 22 minutes, and I jumped over that fire, and I had my wife there with the camera, with the photos, and the Spartan guy with the photos, crossing that finish line, I found out that I wasn't just there, but I've also become somebody greater than I had ever imagined. Let that sink in for a second. Let that resonate. It's about the journey. It's about the process. It's about putting that one foot in front of the other. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode of The Journey Within. I hope this inspires you to embrace the journey with arms wide open. And as always, remember that it's not about the destination, it is about the journey. Until next time, stay curious, stay adventurous, and keep exploring the beautiful journey that is life. Goodbye for now.