Communication Body

The speaker discusses the importance of asking questions and being genuinely interested in others in order to have meaningful conversations. They share personal experiences of how asking questions made people feel valued and appreciated. They emphasize the need for genuine curiosity and the ability to listen in order to connect with others. The speaker also mentions that not everyone will be interested in what you have to say, so it's important to save meaningful conversations for those who truly care. So imagine a room, and there's, let's say, 50, 100 people in there, and they all have their hand up wanting to say something, because they all have something to say. They've got these life experiences. They know something, or they're excited about something, and they love it, and they can't wait to share it. And they have their hand up. They turn to tell someone, and they see that person with their hand up, also wanting to speak. Can you imagine both people trying to talk at the same time? It's just nonsense. It doesn't, it wouldn't go anywhere, because no one is listening. So imagine there's 100 people in that room, all have their hands up. You put your hand down, you turn, and you start asking that person with their hand up, what do you want to talk about? What is it you have to say? You will see that person smile, the eyes light up, body posture changes, and you start listening and being involved in what it is that they have going on in their lives. You will very quickly become that person's favorite person. I remember when I was at Enterprise Rent-A-Car back in the day, 15 years ago at this point, it was a game that I would, by the time I picked the customer up and dropped them, or got back to the branch or dropped them off, I would know everything about them, where they lived, where they worked, what their kids did, their childhood, and my whole goal was to have it to where they didn't know my name. And so by the time they left, by the time I got them to their destination, they wouldn't want to get out, because I was so involved in their world and made them feel so good by listening and asking questions that it was fascinating for me to watch, just how the power of asking questions and being in someone else's world, how people just, they would love me. Like, people would bring their wives back or their, be like, hey, this is the guy we met. This is, but they would barely remember my name. And they were like, and if I was to ask them, what is it that, what is it that you like about me? They wouldn't be able to say anything. They'd be like, well, I like, I don't know. I don't know anything about you. And it was always my game. I loved it, I loved it so much. No one knew anything about me. I'd know everything about them. And they would love me for it. So I just always found that fascinating. So today, we're gonna talk about the three things where you can have a controlled conversation, take it to where you need to go for a win-win. This is not some manipulation, which you can very easily manipulate people doing this. But that's not what we're gonna want to go down that road on. But can you speak to some of this, Sean, yourself? Yeah, and hold on to the end, because we're gonna be sharing a bonus. Oh, yeah. I'm super excited about that. And I will contest everything that you end up saying. So I'm curious, I know you've got a story to tell on where all this started, because what you just said, as far as asking the questions and learning about the other individual on the other side of the mic or in person and in the car, this all started somewhere, right? I don't think you've always been like this as a baby, correct? Yeah, just growing up, I think I was shy. I knew, I had lots of friends, and kids would always come to my house and knock on the door, like, hey, do you want to come out and play? And so I was able to attract people doing that, because I always wanted to have fun. And like we always talk about, I always had that energy, that fun, let's have a good time. I'm just focused on going forward and having a good time. But as I got older, and you mature a little bit, and you want to start dating girls, well, you're gonna have to have a few more tools in your bag than just having some good energy. I remember this one girl. Awakely. Man, I want to say I can remember back as early as like 12, where I started to feel like I like this person, and I have no clue what to say. And it was so awkward, it was so, and I think it might have been a bad habit at the time, but like I hated awkward silences. Like I didn't like there being nothing said. It was, the anxiety would rise, and I'm like, I've got to, someone needs to be talking here. Like, I don't know where that came from, but to me that was, okay, if that's true, if I don't like awkward silences, how can I get this going? How can I, and really, I learned asking questions, probably from a young age. And that's not even talking about my kids, my son. He's an excellent question asker. Like I write down some of his questions. Some of them I, and another game I played, just to go side note, is how do I, how can I ask a question that the person doesn't know the answer to that has to make them think? So in case you're listening to this, that is the first hack, the first tip, is asking questions. And if there's anybody that I've ever met, and I've met a thousand plus people in my life, probably hundreds of thousands, on the network and social media and everything, Ewan does it the best. So listen in, hone in on this, asking questions. It's his number one strength, I feel like. And if you know Ewan, then you know that he asks some questions, and then he asks another question on top of the question which allows you to dive deeper. Which is the magic right there. I learned that asking questions, well here's, a lot of people feel like if they talk, they control the conversation. That's just not, that's not true. Here's the story here, recently we were training for this marathon, and I was at an event, and I was talking to someone, and I broke my own cardinal rule, which was I started talking about myself. Something popped up, we were talking about fitness, or something, I was like, hey, I'm training for a marathon. And I could feel it in my soul, I'm like, here we go, you and your mouth's moving, and I just watched them, I was looking at, the eyes glazed over, they weren't paying attention. Because why do people not listen to other people? Because they wanna be talking. They wanna be talking about what they enjoy, what they like, so if I'm talking about what I enjoy, there's a solid chance, vast, vast majority of people do not wanna hear anything about you, right? So that's a skill to learn right there. I was talking to my daughter, she's 10, I'm helping her understand this skill. Because then you're like, well, do I ever get to talk? Do I ever get to share anything? You do, but only with the special people in your life. Save what you love to talk about it with people who actually care, who wanna be involved in your world. It's probably gonna be a fairly small circle, but most people do not wanna hear what you have to say. And I think that's an important note too, is the ones that you want in your life, if you find yourself, they're typically the ones in your inner circle, your tribe, your community, the ones that you keep close to you, they're gonna ask you questions. Yeah, that's right. And allow you to go down the rabbit hole. I almost don't know what to do when someone asks me a question. I know what you do. I flip it real quick. Well, no, so you tell me, what do I do? Oh, man, you go, everybody knows what this, like I even shared about it on our retreat this weekend in Colorado. I was like, man, when Ewan gets talking boy on something that he loves and he's passionate about, he just opens up a can of worms, right? And it goes back to the same thing, it's like, even my personality and my temperament, I try so hard to dial in. And like you said, me and you can spend days, hours and days together. And yeah, when it's something that you enjoy and you're passionate about, that kind of speaks to what, when you ask questions, the only way you can find out about somebody is if you ask them what questions they're gonna dive deeper on and what comes, and it allows them to pull a lot. Yeah, it's so true. It's all psychological, because people wanna be heard. Kind of like the story at the start, they have their hand up, they got something to say, but so do you have something to say, but they're not gonna hear you. If you're gonna have a chance of them listening to you at any point, you're gonna have to put a whole bunch of deposits in their bank, right? To where they might wanna hear what you have to say. And even then, most people will not really care. It's just, it's a sad fact. I wish the whole world could be just nothing but people wanting to know about other people, but it doesn't work like that, people wanna be known. And so, it is a skill. And once you hone it, it's a fun, beautiful world, right? Because you get to be inside other people's minds, learning about their lives, and being, and here's a big part of it, you have to be genuine, right? You have to be curious. You have to really want to know. And even, and we could use the, I always mean yours, and I bring this up, like if it's about, let's say it's a nine-year-old granny, we're talking about her hobby of knitting, well, could there be anything more boring? Well, I would agree that would be super boring, but this is a human being on the planet, she doesn't wanna hear a single thing I have to say, right? So why, I could talk to this granny all day about what, a marathon, she's not gonna connect, she's not gonna care. She might ask me questions, that would be a beautiful day, but I know the vast majority of people won't. So, as me as a leader, I will step in and ask her the questions. Okay, so knitting, you love it, tell me more, what do you like to knit? Sweaters, interesting. Is there different types of wool that you use? So now I'm curious, now I just got very interested in knitting, what is the best quality of material that you could get? I don't know what that is. That's a great question, let me explain to you. Yes, you know, she would light up, I'd be like, well, I'd wanna know, I'd have to be genuinely curious, well, how much, this would very much interest me, I'm interested in the value of things, how much would that llama wool from Tibet cost? Well, this ball of wool, it costs $30. Oh, that's 30 bucks, that's interesting, okay. So, I thought it would have been more. So, you know, just all the questions, but you know what, her world will be completely different. By the time our time is up, like if we're in an elevator or on a bus somewhere, well, there's no buses in the States, but wherever we are, we're in a waiting room at the doctor's office. By the time I'm done and I've got to go see the doctor, she's gotta go, that woman will not want to leave. She'll want to stay talking because no one's listening. Right, it could be a 16-year-old talking about a skateboarding trick that he's working on. Okay, you're asking all the questions, follow-up questions. That kid will absolutely not want to leave your presence because no one's asking those questions, right? So, you're building this, you're being curious and you're in somebody else's world. And to me, it's a beautiful thing, right? And again, when do you get to talk? Maybe you don't, maybe you just, like I said, you do get to talk at some point with the people that love you, but reserve it for them because no one else is interested, right? You can't make anybody listen to you and it's a lonely, sad world. And people, I see a lot of people walking around like they don't have good connections because they're too busy talking, right? What if you, somebody's listening to this and they're like, okay, cool, right? And so, in their mind, if you don't do it genuinely, if you have an angle or if there's an agenda, that's a different mentality, right? So, in my mind, I'm sitting there thinking, asking questions to a little old lady, right? So, in my mind, it's like, I'm doing this because, well, I wanna make her day or I wanna make an impact on her life or maybe she doesn't have somebody else that has the skill set, right? So, for me, I try to tie it to a purpose or a mission. So, it allows me to stay, remain in the pocket, remain poised and present and in the moment. Because if I have an agenda and I'm not there, like, I'm just checked out, right? I'm just asking questions that go through the motion. But if you're struggling with this and you're looking at this like, the little old lady, right? And so, for me, it helps when, if it's not you and Rashaun talking about level of live or something that we could talk hours and hours and hours on and something that you struggle with, for me, I tie it to, okay, well, for the next 30 minutes, for the next 15 minutes, I can sit here and dedicate this time to make an impact on this lady's life because she's not guaranteed tomorrow or maybe nobody else has done that, right? Create that safe place, create those questions on top of questions. And so, just to tie it to like, okay, maybe, yeah, maybe, it's gonna make the biggest difference on her, right? And for me, if I'm doing it- It's gonna be the same result. She's still, you've been in her world and I do it out of like, some kind of dopamine, like, just, I'm super, I can't help myself. I'll look at my watch and it's been an hour talking about knitting and I thought it was two minutes. The doctor's like, waiting for us to, you know, break up the conversation, you know? You're coming at it from a leadership, like, impacting the world type, right? Which I think is so important too because not everybody's gonna do it like I do it. You know, that's just a natural thing and not everyone's gonna do it like you. But it's some form of being in their world. Whatever that is for people, you have to figure that out. So, yeah, I'm really glad that you brought that up. Yeah, and so, how can you really, you know, we're almost about to get into the business side of things there. Like, okay, how do you control this? If you really, that's where I'm going in like a shark. Like, I'm laser focused. I always think win-win. I'm never trying to manipulate people. I'm not interested in money when it comes to, I'm interested in progress. So, when I go in there, I feel like, if I believe in what it is that I'm selling, we're gonna end up exactly where I want to end up with this person. I'm gonna ask all the questions and yet, somehow, we're gonna end up exactly where I wanted to go and I didn't do any of the talking. I don't even know what it is that, they don't even know, oh, man, most of my customers don't know who I am or what I do. By the time I'm done, they wanna do business, right? Because I'll just drop little hints and nuggets of things of value that can improve their life. Like, I'm a problem solver, that's what I tell people. And so, I get them talking and I console them, I listen to them, I understand them and to really pour on the factor of them really liking being around you goes into point two. Finding a point of excellence about this person and just stating it out loud. And everybody has something of excellence, right? Something that you can compliment them on. I always look for that in people, not in a manipulative thing, I do it with a granny too, right, on the nitty. I'm like, man, you are very astute or, man, you're so dedicated to that, like, not many people can do that, right? And that's a true, true statement. Again, you can hear this and be like, oh, is that manipulation? Nah, in my soul, my heart, I'm doing it out of, yes, that's right, only, so if you're to do it, that's why I say you can absolutely manipulate this. Like, you could do that, but people know your energy. You can feel people are trying. It's not sustainable yet, exactly. It's gotta be true. So you're always looking for that true thing to compliment of excellence. And again, we're talking about how to control a conversation and have people always wanna be around you or you're the person that they wanna have at your party, right, they're like, oh, I want that person there or someone's having a difficult time, you're the go-to person, they call you. And so these are some of the elements, being in their world, asking questions, pointing out the awesome factors about them that no one else points out. And why would you not share that with them, right? If it's true, why not share it, right? Not, it's hard for a lot of people to say something good about someone else because they think it's a zero-sum game. If I'm complimenting them, that means I must be less than, or, and a lot of people listening to this, because I process all this. Like, to me, I feel it myself when I'm complimenting someone. Even today, I truly mean it. I'm like, there's always that part of, well, what about me? Like, and I have to shove that, I don't shove it aside. I'm like, nope, there's the ego talking. Like, and there's more than enough for everybody to have this spotlight. And if you're the only person that gets to do it that day for them, then you're that special person. So to me, it's important to share what's awesome about people, right? So those are the two things there. What I'm also hearing you say, too, is you're very self-aware. So even when you do talk about subjects that you really love, that you're really passionate about, even with me, right, and our Mastermind group, and the guys, and coaching, and stuff like that, you ask the question, you allow them to dive deep on, and then you're like, oh, man, it triggers you, and then you start talking, and you catch yourself and find yourself going, oh, I need to drop it, I need to go back to it. You're so, if anybody, you're so good at it, right? That's a lot like with the Mastermind group and doing it in our LLC, like you come alive, like when you're asking the question, they dive deep on it, you can dive deep on it. To me, that's how you build that deeper connection. And then when you build that deeper connection, and if you're listening to this, and whether you're a business owner or somebody, you know, just in daily life, right, whether it's your wife, or spouse, or kids, or whoever, you ask the question, then you're allowing them to open up, and then find something. Be intentional, be self-aware about finding something that what they say, then dive deeper on. So it just allows you, because people like doing business, and people like people just in general who they know, like, and trust. Well, how do you do that? You have to master the communication, which is the same thing, which is, you know, complimenting people and allowing, empowering them, inspiring them to feel good as well. Yeah, man, what is wrong with making someone feel good? You know what I mean? Especially if it's true. I don't know why we don't do it more. Like, just for the sake of stating that something's true about somebody, like we reserve that, right? You see someone doing something awesome, social media, someone does something awesome on wherever, why would we not be like phenomenal? And a lot of people do. Again, I think it's just that. Why are we so selfish? Why don't we just talk about ourselves? Because we're egocentric, right? That is our nature, is number one, right? My life, I am God, right? In your own life, you are in control of it, and so it would be against your human nature to be like, I suck at everything all the time. Even people who, like, you could just, they say it themselves, you know, they still have something to say, man. Sometimes those people have the most to say, and that tells you something right there. Man, you know, that's something interesting, a lot of people, if you have to say something about yourself, that tells you something about yourself, right, yeah, I tell my, I try and, I'm coaching my kids, helping them realize, like, it's good to be confident, it's good to have pride in your work, and if something is true, if you're the best at something, you can say, I am the best at this, because that would be a true statement, but you have to be very careful you're not being arrogant about that, right? Because that turns people off immediately. No one wants to be around that person that's just excellent, right, and is telling you that it's excellent. So my, you want to be so good that you don't have to say it because other people are saying it for you, right? Yes, action. You can speak louder than that. Yeah. It's the old saying, it's like, don't listen to what I say, watch what I do. Yeah, that's right, and being so humble, because what a magical combination, being the very best, and complimenting other people at things, that's a powerful, that's a person I want to be around, right? I don't want to be around a person that's like, I've got it all, you know, I know best, and they are the best, right, like, that's, okay, we get it, you know what I mean, that's, and you do a phenomenal job of this, like, you podium all the time, you're up there in the spotlight, you do so many amazing things, and I've never heard you say, I'm the best, ever. Well, and here's why I don't say I'm the best, right, because one, I feel like you, I've surrounded myself with individuals like yourself, that pull, that allow me to level up, that also sharpens my iron, and it pulls that out of me. That, to me, that's a beautiful relationship, and if you have somebody like that in your life, that pulls you up, and that lifts you up, right? Because when you say pedestal, when you say podium, I'm like, well, it's because I have awesome friends like you. That's the way I look at it, if you ask me good questions, if you go back and listen to the last 40 plus episodes, you end up asking questions, you end up really like, you know, hey, let's dive deeper on that, the way you just answered that, and you've done such a good job at that, and yeah. And that's the person I want to be around, like, that's a shining example, like, you, and that's another reason to be around, like, a mastermind group, right, like, people who can be vulnerable, and compliments, and it's, man, that's it right there, being, complimenting someone else is someone being vulnerable, and when people are vulnerable, people love that, because it's true, it's real, and they let their guard down for a minute, and that's just wonderful, right? And it takes practice. And outside of, like, relationships like mine and yours, and like, you know, in our mastermind group, and people that we surround ourselves with, we've had to be intentional about that, right? And, well, nobody compliments me, Sean, or, okay, well, you be this shining light, you be the one that starts that, and for me, it was Ewan in my life, 10 plus years ago, he's the one that started asking me questions, and getting curious about me, because if it wasn't for him, I would just be this selfish human being, right? Because, I'm like, well, Ewan, how does everybody, like, my family loves Ewan, like, all my friends love Ewan, and even our mastermind group loves Ewan, but what do they know about him? A lot of them didn't even know he was from Scotland for several years, you know? And I love it that way, too, like, I honestly, I don't even want a tombstone, right? Like, I, in my mind, I'm like, I'm just, I'll be happy to come and go, and, you know, that'll be it, you know? If I do have anything on a tombstone, it'll probably be something funny, some kind of joke, you know, that would be ideal. I won't be around, so I won't care, you know, so. But, yeah, so, number three, asking people for help. Mm, this is a hard one for me, man. Yeah, oh, dude, I think it's hard, man, it's so hard. You watch a kid, man, no, forget what I just said. It's not hard for kids, you just said it. It's hard for everyone, man. Even if you know the answer, it's really powerful to let somebody tell you something, because you have brightened up their day, right? You've made their, so think about, all you have to do is think about, how do you feel when someone asks you to explain something to you? Hey, could you help me out with this? I don't understand this, could you help me understand? Everybody, I don't know, I've never met a person that is like, oh, this person's asking me to help them out with my awesome knowledge on something. Right, no, everyone's always like, even the most grumpiest, that's, honestly, I'm, you know, medical equipment sales, and if I'm talking to like a grumpy customer or something, someone like that, I'm like, could you explain this to me? I don't get it, and I know with your experience, you 100% might be the only person that could fill me in. You watch that grumpy person turn into a smile on her face, start talking about their kids, their family, and you could just go down all, because once the guard is down, now they know you're a place to trust, and they like you immediately, and so you could just, you can go anywhere with them. You will be their best friend in about 20 minutes, because most people, okay, you have a grumpy person, I'm just using that term broadly, think about whatever kind of person, that kind of person will typically get the same response from all kinds of people. How do people normally show up around a grumpy person? Negatively, right? They're gonna get a finger in their face. Oh yeah, you grumpy person, well, I'm out, right? If you're that one person that is interested in them, you'll watch that guard come down, you're so different than everybody else, they're now curious, who is this person? They actually want to be around me, I know I'm grumpy. Some of them actually know it, and this person's willing to withstand it and ask me questions, man, like I say, you will see their guard drop, and you could guide them wherever you want. Would you not have improved their life a little bit? Because maybe, yeah, maybe there's a glimmer of hope that they are no longer a grumpy person, right? So one of the things, when I'm hearing you say this, we talked about this on our run this morning, is there's a difference between inspiring and effectiveness, right, when you're communicating and when you're talking to people and you're mastering this art. Like I've said, Ewan is one of the best that I know in my network, and one of the things, the difference between me and Ewan is I am very inspirational, aspirational, right? People are like, oh, I want to do that, right, and I'm even feeling good. You, on the other hand, the reason you are so good at what you do as far as communicating and mastering that is you are effective at it, right? You allow them to, like you said, like the grumpy man story, right? So what happens is that I leave him feeling, okay, yeah, the guy's full of energy, charismatic, man, I wish I had his energy and all this, right, which is super inspirational, but you, on the other hand, you make him think differently, psychologically, right, because of being able to dive deep with him and show up differently, and it's effective, and then when it shows up in his life, like, whoa, maybe I can make this change. You know, what you said there is both, it imparts change. Someone sees you do that thing, they see hope, right? They see, maybe I could take a step towards doing that, too, because your story is I was here and I got here, and they could say, well, I'm here, I could be there, too, right, and in the same way, or in a different way, but with change revolving around it is having them think, man, I was grumpy, I'm grumpy with most people, that person got me out of that mode, maybe there's something, maybe there's another option, there's another possibility for me to not be the way I've always been, and if I am X, this way that I just was with that person, maybe I could be that more with other folks, so it is more inspiration, but it's an internal conversation or something that's available for them, you know, same thing, though, right, like that's what Level Up and Live is about, is that you're leveling yourself up, we're doing it constantly ourselves and trying to improve, and have we got everything figured out? No, not at all, we are, if anybody, we are like the most unfigured out people, if you were to ask us, like, no, we're just starting, like we have done a few things, but we're just, the game is just about to start, which is awesome, and that's why we're always so excited, I think, is because, you know, but to compare that to maybe something that hasn't been working on themselves at all, you know, they might think, like, this is so far out of reach, but it's available for them, like, that's the whole message, you know, is that, so, yeah, so asking someone to explain something to you. What would you say to somebody that is like, do you know, okay, so you, for me, it's like, when I ask so many questions, right, it's like, and I throw a compliment in there, and then one of the things I'm working on myself, personally, is asking for help, right, it's very hard for a type A personality, and I'm like, I always help, you know, but yeah, I hear you, and so, but it's for a different set of reasons there, but, so what would you say to somebody that, when you ask a question, and you give them these compliments, and then their kids are like, you're asking too many questions? Yeah, it's definitely a balance, right, and I learned that, too, you know, from the early ages, from the early time. So, I really, so controlling the conversation, right, so when I, I'll get them talking, simple questions, and the reason I do that, like, where do you work, wife, kids, past experiences, and from there, I could take a conversation to four hours, right, because I'm going to pick something out of there that was, they hadn't thought about themselves, I'll ask them a question, right, so it's got them thinking, and so they're so busy being deep inside their own mind, trying to answer things they never thought about before, that it's normally questions that help guide them along, as opposed to. Well, because of your skillset, you can do that, right? Yeah. I'm thinking of somebody that's like, oh, I really wanna work on the art of mastering what these guys are talking about, these three key points. Yeah. And so, when people will try to flex the muscles. When they're starting this, asking this question. It may seem to somebody else, like, dude, you're asking me 15 different questions, right? Yeah. What you're saying is like, hey, you've really gotta dial things back, be self-aware of like, are they giving you yes or no, so they actually dive deep, are they opening up, are they at the right time? So I know, if I'm for another episode. I think a quick answer on that, then, is as they are answering a question, you don't ask, perhaps, another question that is going a different direction. It's more like, could you explain that a little more? People love that. In fact, my favorite question, and this, man, this is gold, and I challenge everyone to do this, is to ask people to, this is my go-to question, what makes you say that? Oh, what made you say that? What made you do that? He does this to me all the time. Yeah. You know what, well, let me tell you. Yeah, that's right, and the best follow-up question to what makes you say that, or what made you do that, is what makes you do that? What made you think that? That's such a brilliant question. You follow up again with the same question. Yeah. And it really helps people go deep. Why do people not do follow-up questions? Because we want to stop, we want to talk. I do that, I still want to talk. Like, I mean, I have to control myself, right? What do you do to control yourself? Ask, ask questions. Like, as soon as I, so I know, I gauge real quick. I'm talking about myself, I can feel it. And you can watch the reaction of people as soon as they start looking around. That's a good indication, they're gone, right? All the time, they're like, looking at their watch, phone, whatever, they will be distracted. And I've played with it so many, I'll play with it. I'll get them right back by bringing another question right back to them. I've realized I've talked too long. Is there any set order on these three, or do they fall out of order? Can I ask for help first, and then dial you back? Oh, yeah, yeah, you absolutely could, because it was so beautiful. But it's like, hey, I'm struggling with this, could you help me out? Or, I understand a little bit, but I know you know more. Bang, they're gonna answer. How, okay, now we're playing, now I'm back, how did you end up getting to know this? Who taught you that? Did you pick it up easy, or what was the process? Well, how did you get interested? Now you could just talk for hours, and I promise you, right, these are simple questions, not rocket science, but that person will love you for the rest of their lives. And they won't know your name, right? They will not even know who you are, but they'll go home and tell their wives or their husbands, man, I met this phenomenal person today, they were so cool. They were just so insightful, and their husband or wife will say, hey, what was their name? Well, I'm not sure. What about them, where are they from, what do they do? I actually don't know anything about this person, and I just called them the most greatest person I ever met, right? Think about the breakdown of that, it's just fascinating to me, I love it. And everything that you're saying is 1000% correct, because as we're building this level of live, and the podcast, and all the work behind the scenes, like it's funny, because we have a lot of people that reach out to us. And even some of the things that we've rolled out, Marathon, February 18th, we're going on a video, we're trying to take our audience listeners on a journey. And one of the things, I'm just verbally like, just trying to catch attention, right? It's like, bop, you know what I mean? Which I love, dude. I'm like, I'm just a guy for your video, right? Yeah, I love it. And so, and then, what's interesting is, people that reach out to me, like, you know, it's funny, because when we did the Marathon post and the video, it's always, you know, my name's all up and down all social media and stuff like that. The reason you're so good in what you've done, what you're talking about, these three key points in the communication, is because it showed up in your actions as well. And even when we rolled those things out, like, people were commenting our time, the guests on the time, and they were saying, Sean, you're gonna get this time, and then they're like, that other guy. Yeah, they don't know me, and I don't want anybody to know. This is probably the most you'll ever hear me talk, is about getting other people to talk. You're so good at it, you know? Yeah, it's like, I almost feel exposed. I don't know, like, I know everything about me. I know everything about me. I don't need to hear anything more about me. I don't need to talk about, I would like to share some of the stuff that could get someone else talking. I don't know anything about them. That's intriguing, that's interesting to me. It's funny, man, it's so funny. People are like, man, I really wanna know about Scotland. You know, people will say, man, well, tell me about you. I know in about 30 seconds, we're gonna be talking about them again, and they're gonna leave saying, that was awesome. I don't know anything about Scotland. Multiple people at church, they'll be like, they'll still ask me, well, so, tell me more about Scotland. I never tell them anything. I'm just human beings, naturally, we like to talk about ourselves, and when you ask me questions, I like to naturally, like, yeah, because I can tell you're genuine. I naturally love to hear it. Yeah, exactly, so, on the flip side of things, that's interesting that you only speak for 30 seconds or 45 seconds about that, because in your mind, you're saying, no, I wanna turn it back to them. They don't really wanna know about Scotland. Right, but don't you wanna surround yourself with people that really wanna find out about you? Well, I'm doing it. You do, and that's, this is the key. I don't need anybody else to know anything, because I have the special people in my life that do care, and it's, man, could you imagine having a ton of those? It'd be exhausting, like, I don't, I just need one or two, you know? Like, I've got my family, I've got you, my wife and I are so closely connected, and there's different tiers of closeness that you have with people, and there's some that are surface-level, and that's great. Well, it's like a bullseye, right? Yeah, exactly, yeah. Your inner circle, and you have an outer acquaintance. Yeah, yeah, so that frees you up. So, all right, man, hit us with the bonus. This is yours, and I totally love it. Let's go. So, the bonus is, one of my favorites is, and these three are just in pure gold, right, which has been asking questions with a follow-up question to dive deeper, and then complimenting them, and finding something about them that you like, and then the third one is asking for help, even if you already know the answer to that, right? The fourth one, here's the cherry on top, is if it's people in your life, like you and I, or your inner circle, your tribe, your community, even if you've got employees, or people that you just talk to, maybe on a weekly basis, your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister, your aunt and uncle, love languages. So, it's a complete curveball. So, the fourth one is, I have done love languages with my entire team, all my friends and family, we continuously talk about it, and there's obviously other tools and assessments that you can do, like the Enneagram and GIF profiles, but love languages, I have found, because one of the things I've learned in leadership is, and me and you have talked about this behind the scenes is, is it all comes down to serving and impacting, through being a loving, serving leader, right? And so, that's one of the things I've really had to work on is being compassionate, kind, and then loving, right? Speaking from the heart, and that's how I speak, that's my communication style, and so, one of the things that's helped me in finding out the love languages, which is by Gary Chapman, I think, there's a book on that, and so, whether you've got employees, you're, a big one is, like for me and Kendra, not to go down the rabbit hole, but like mine is words of affirmation and quality time, and then Kendra's is completely opposite of that, acts of service and gift giving, which is, so that means I have to be that much more intentional, because it's not the same love languages as mine. So, how does this relate to communication and the art of communication? Well, you wanna communicate to your spouse, to your kids, to your community, to your employees, based on their love language, right? And so, you could be talking to one of your employees that their physical touch is like 95%, right? So, all they want is a handshake, a high five, maybe a good freaking hug, but you're over here giving them words of affirmation, well, you're completely missing the art of communication, right, because you're saying, hey, great job on that sale, or great job on taking care of that customer, but their words of affirmation is at 5%, so it's been completely opposite of that 95%, and I struggle with it, but I think it's one of those things that if we talk about it, we teach it, and we apply it in our own lives and look at it, then we can put the cherry on top of just, you know, like you said earlier, wanting people, or people wanting to be around you, right? Because you're making it all about them, right? It's not about your love language, it's not about you, it's about them, and finding out about them, that's what that allows you to get deeper connections. All very simple stuff we just talked about today, very hard to implement, it's very hard. I mean, I've been practicing it, it's very difficult, but it is a skill that can be learned, and you gotta hone it, and the way you will feel, the way they will feel, life gets real sweet, real fast. A lot of lonely people walking around because they're doing it backwards, right? Anyways, man, I really enjoyed this conversation. Thanks for letting us dive deep on it, and yeah, man, level up and live. Level up and live. All right, brother.