FPIWB Chapter 12

Max is concerned about Jill's safety and tries to dissuade her from moving in with Jazz. They have a conversation about their past and Max apologizes for his past mistakes. They share a passionate kiss, but Max still worries about Jill's safety. They discuss the possibility of a stalker and the different scenarios that could occur. Jill suggests a plan to smoke out the stalker and assures Max that she can take care of herself. They decide to face the situation together and move forward in their relationship. Max realizes that he wants a chance at happiness with Jill, despite his fears. Chapter 12 If anything happened to Jill Jackson because he'd pushed her into living with Jazz Monroe, Max would never forgive himself, and he'd already spent decades in that mode. Wasn't that enough? He knocked on Jill's back door Sunday afternoon, ready to dissuade her, and waited for her to call him in. She didn't. He knocked again. Then he called her name. Still nothing. Her car was here, the interior door was open, and Billy Joel was crooning something from the deep recesses of the house. Max pulled out his phone and texted her. No reply. Jill always replied. Even if it was a quick emoji or an auto-answer, she always replied to him. His heartbeat quickened. Tiny hairs on the back of his neck rose up. A ribbon of fear didn't coil up his back. It jumped in record time. What if she was sick? Hurt? Lying unconscious? This woman was one of the first people he'd met when he moved to town, and she always, always, always... Max, is that you? The sound of her voice spun him around, and he didn't like being spun around. Where were you? She held his gaze from alongside the garage and arched her brows. I rang the bell. She waited, still quiet. I knocked. Then I called your name. Then knocked again. And I texted you. That shifted her expression, and she padded her back pocket. I left my phone at the far end of the tomatoes. I had music playing and never heard the tone for the text. But you still haven't explained why you're barking at me. She set a full basket of tomatoes on the ground, folded her arms, and leaned against the garage. I'm pretty sure that's an overreaction. It was, and it wasn't. It was because they'd drawn lines in the sand a long time ago. It wasn't because he wanted to kick those lines aside for once and for all. And yet, he couldn't. Or maybe shouldn't. He'd hurt one woman back in New York City. He'd betrayed her by drinking and partying and casting her and their daughter as a distant third or fourth place in his scheme of things. Yeah, he was different now. But that didn't excuse his former indiscretions. And even if God excused his past, Max couldn't do the same. So what difference did it make? You always answer my texts. The house was open. You didn't answer. And I... She stayed still, waiting for him to finish, and not offering the slightest help to get him out of the hole he'd dug himself. Sorry. He came down the three steps and crossed the yard to her. I want you to reconsider moving in with Jazz. After you urged me to move in with Jazz, she aimed a well-practiced, look of disbelief his way. Suggested, not urged, and it's a move I regret. She studied his face, frowned slightly, and picked up the tomatoes to carry them into the house. You're scared. Not scared, he told her. He moved ahead to get the door for her, but not complacent either. I made a suggestion, thinking it would help Jazz. I should have taken your well-being more into thought. Yep, scared. She moved past him and into the house. He followed quickly. Jill, I... She set the basket down and turned. She looked really cute in her loose tee and denim capris, with her hair all tied up in some kind of a knot thing to keep it out of her face in the garden. Cute and aggravated. Max. She said his name quietly, firmly, ready to dismiss his concerns. He moved closer. Close enough to see the hints of honey gold in her hazel eyes. Close enough to count the golden freckles nature had liberally sprinkled across her fair skin. This is a... He wasn't sure if she was going to say stupid, foolish, ridiculous, or whatever adjective came to mind because he didn't let her finish. Not this time. This time he was too busy kissing her to let her talk, speak, have her say. And while he was losing himself in the kiss, in the realization that he was holding the most wonderful woman in the world in his arms, at last, he knew he shouldn't be doing it. And yet he did. And he wasn't going to hang himself out to dry about it either, because it was the most amazing kiss ever, and the lady in question seemed to be enjoying it too. He paused, breathed deep, laid his forehead against hers, and when he braced his palms against the softness of her cheeks, his heart raced like a top speed cop chase in his chest. Don't you dare apologize, Maxwell. She never used his full name. No one did, but it sounded cute coming from her, scolding him, holding him. For waiting so long, wasting so much time, that might need an apology, Joe. Her cheeks curved up when she smiled. An apt statement. I'll accept that apology, but not the one for the kiss, because it was perfect. Yeah? He leaned back and kissed her again, and then again. Still perfect? She hugged him, and then she stepped back, put the flat of her right hand on his chest, and looked at the clock. I'm supposed to be at Hale and Kelsey's in ten minutes. Me too. So, you've got exactly five to explain things, not the kiss. She moved her tomato basket to the counter. Why you're worried about me staying with Jazz all of a sudden? Not sudden, and I never should have suggested it. Her expression disagreed. You're a nurturer, Max. You don't want to see her backslide. Me either. And there's been no threats since the park incident. So can't we just leave that where it belongs? In the past? If this guy was a stalker, he'd have done something by now, wouldn't he? Ah, he wished it were that easy. Some would, some wouldn't. Not necessarily, he told her. Smart psychopaths can have amazing patience. When they're ready to execute their plans, they don't want anything to thwart it. And she's already messed it up once. Well, I don't see anything all that smart about assaulting a woman with thousands of people nearby. Max ticked off the facts that he didn't stay in front of Jazz. The park was about to go into total darkness. People screeched and screamed when the lights went off. There was pretty much zero visibility and the sound of crashing fireworks to obliterate noise. Fairly intelligent and an unexpected assault. His down factor was her quick reaction and her speed. So you think it is a stalker and not the guy they arrested? Because Hale's not on board with that either. He made a face and shook his head. None of us are. Worse, I don't know any more than I did six weeks ago, and that's aggravating. If he moves, we can launch a counter move. But he hasn't. So is this because he's scared off or waiting? Or we're wrong and they got the guy, and even though he's out on bail, he's scared enough to stay away. And those are all very different outcome-based scenarios. She opened the refrigerator and took out her broccoli and noodle salad, one of his favorites, and handed it to him. Here's how I see this going down. He wasn't going to like what she was about to say. She was using her, I know what I'm doing voice, a tone he respected most of the time. But not now. Not when it was her safety that he might be putting in jeopardy, and not when he'd put her up to it. You've got a great system in place at Jazz's house. He held the salad and listened. We work different hours, and I'm a pretty good reporter. If I see anything weird going on, or if Jazz does, we'll compare notes. I know you guys have been taking shifts watching out for her. You can't do that forever. And when winter comes, we're talking nine hours of daylight through the thick of it. So if this guy is watching, is he going to wait for bad weather? Or strike before the wind and the snow and pouring rain mess things up in two months? And is he waiting to use the extended cover of darkness? Because it's tougher to see things in the dark. You think it's a good idea to smoke him out, tempt him forward? I think we need to end this. And let me remind you that I'm a solid shot, she replied. I taught myself how to fire a gun years ago. I also taught myself when to use deadly force. And it's a skill I passed on to both of my sons. Knowing how to take care of yourself is more than shopping, growing, cooking, and cleaning. She indicated the basket of red ripe tomatoes with a glance. It's facing whatever hurdles life puts in your way. She leaned against the counter and held his gaze. Knowing you, Hale, Bennett, and Garrett have our backs makes this a no-brainer. When you came to me with the idea, I asked for time and you gave it to me. I've made my decision, Max. Not casually either. I prayed, I thought, and I prayed some more because I don't take life or limb lightly. But it's the right thing to do. I know that because I feel it. And now she leaned forward, close, so close, so close. Her breath feathered over his face, his cheeks, his mouth. I thank you for the kiss. It has quite emboldened me, I must say. And if anyone threatens Jazz or me in any way, shape, or form, I will take care of business the best I can. Because now that I've had one, she stretched out the number deliberately and slanted a smile up at him. Okay, more than one of those to-die-for kisses. I'd like a lifetime of them. And we need to get this mess taken care of first for that to happen. So, Max, she grabbed him by the shirt front and kissed him again, wiping away any vestige of rational thought when she did. Let's get rid of the webs in our closets and move forward. Because I can't imagine anything better than that. Can you? There wasn't anything better than that. But what if he couldn't keep her safe? Keep them both safe? What if? Be still and know that I am God. She moved to the door. I'm trusting his will, his timing, his grace. How I'd love for you to do the same. He had to. He knew that. He believed, yes. But when his protective instincts spiked to high alert, doubts assailed him, making it harder to hand over the reins. She just reminded him. And when she smiled and made his heart jump into overdrive all over again, he knew that she was right. He was hooked, and he wasn't sure which was better. And which was more frightening. Either way, he wanted the chance for a happiness. He just cut. Either way, he wanted the chance for a happiness. He denied himself for decades. He didn't know how to heal old wrongs. His past attempts had met with abject failure. His lovely daughter had grown up without a father and wanted to keep it that way. She'd made that clear each time he'd reached out to her. That was her right. He hated it, but respected it. Now, God had given him a chance to move forward. He wished he'd cleaned up the debris of the past first, but he could only ask forgiveness. Then it was up to the other person to grant it. Or not. Gwen was disinclined to do it, so he'd stopped pushing. Let go and let God. He'd said that to others often enough. Now he needed to heed his own words of wisdom and keep two wonderful women safe. That was going to be his focus for however long it took. As Jill settled herself into the driver's seat of her small SUV, she flashed a smile his way. His heart leaped. He smiled back. And when she winked at him, his rusty heart leaped again. He didn't deserve her. Not in his estimation, but for some reason, the good Lord had put her in his path. And now he wanted to walk that path together. Which meant he needed to keep the women out of harm's way. With a sound plan and God's help. That's exactly what Max intended to do. Because never before had there been so much riding on it.