Right Choice for Marriage- Apostle Peterson Onoja Abu

In this seminar, the speaker discusses the importance of choosing the right life partner based on the Bible. They explain that there is a difference between the will of God and the choice of God when it comes to finding a partner. The will of God determines if the person is a believer, while the choice of God is the specific person God has chosen for you. The speaker emphasizes the need to seek God's guidance and not rely solely on personal experiences or the experiences of others. They share a story of a couple who initially had misunderstandings but later realized they were the right choice for each other. The speaker encourages the audience to trust in God's instruction and direction in making the right choice for marriage. I welcome you to this special seminar. I really want to thank every one of you for attending to this meeting. I also want to appreciate this platform. May God bless you all in Jesus name. What we'll be talking about this evening is very important but I don't know whether there's anything much to say again because almost everybody is becoming a relationship coach. But we are not teaching it because we are relationship coach. We are teaching it because it is written in the Bible. And every pastor ought to teach their members about marriage and to teach the congregation on how to find a life partner under the parameter of scriptures or the perimeter of the word of God. So what I'll be sharing with you is not something different but I'll be explaining it for your better understanding. One of the most important decisions in life is at the juncture of choosing a life partner. You may think you can teach it on how to find a life partner until it is now your turn to write that exam. And that is why I want every single year to listen. One of the things I did, I've been doing for many years was to consistently listen to marriage or to find a life partner from different ministers of God including some American ministers, old ministers. Some of them are not alive again. I still go back to their messages and I listen to how to find a life partner. But my outline that I prepared for this seminar will, I believe is going to open your eyes to what you need to know. And my prayer for you is that you will not choose wrongly in Jesus name. You will not choose the wrong person. So I was in a WhatsApp group where I have a minister friend there and they asked a question about how to find a life partner. And there were different comments and some people making, giving answer to that questions. So my friend beckoned on me that I should respond to the question because when I'm in a group like that, I prefer listening than even preaching or suggesting. So I try to make them understand that there is a difference between the will of God and the choice of God. And I believe some of you will be hearing this for the first time. That there is a difference between the will of God and the choice of God. We always misinterpret it and we take the will of God for the choice of God and take the choice of God for the will of God. But I want you to have an understanding that there is a difference between the will of God and the choice of God. The will of God is what gives you, it is the will of God that suggests if you should pray about that person or not. Yes, the will of God is not the answer. The will of God is, it brings a suggestion if you should pray about if that brother that is coming is your husband or not. It is the will of God that gives the opportunity for prayer. If that person is not the will of God, you don't need to pray. So the will of God is, number one, is the person born again. That is the will of God. So when we talk about is this person the will of God, we are talking about is this person even in the family of God to be considered first. For example, if a sinner or an unbeliever meets you or people that worship other gods meets you and they say they want to get married to you. You don't need to go and pray and say Lord is this your will. No, no, no, no, no. If that person is not born again, there is no need to raise prayer points. Now if the person is a genuine born again believer, that is where you go and pray if it is the choice of God. That is where you go and pray if it is the choice of God. God sent Prophet Samuel to the house of Jesse and he saw the brothers of David. They are the will of God because they are all Israelites. If you were to pick a king or appoint the will of God, you can appoint any of them. But then understand that God had a choice because even Prophet Samuel saw a will and he said this one that has muscle, this one that is wonderful, that has what it takes to be a king. I think this one is a king. But the Lord had to come and make a choice. So, ten Spiritual brothers may be coming to you for marriage. Ten. I mean brothers that hears from God. Brothers that have a very good relationship with God. And the ten of them are coming. Are they the will of God? Yes. But are they the choice of God? No. Among them, they may be choice. So, God will say this is the choice for you. I pray God will help us in Jesus name. So, I will be sharing with you on the topic, the right choice for marriage. The right choice for marriage. Remember, I am not saying that the right will of God for marriage. I say the right choice for marriage. Our gracious Father, we thank you for this very moment and this seminar. We are asking you Lord that as we open our heart and our ears to hear from you. We pray that you communicate to us all that we need to be able to make right choice or choices in life in Jesus name. I pray for my listeners and those connecting online. Bless their heart and bless everyone of them. Thank you because you are faithful. For in Jesus' mighty name we pray. For those that are hearing, that are connected online. This is Apostle Peter saying Abu. And I will be sharing with you on the topic, the right choice for marriage. The right choice for marriage. My Bible reading should be taken from Psalm 32. Psalm 32 verse 8. Psalm 32 verse 8. Psalm 32. Please open your Bibles. I am not going to read much Bibles or I am not going to read. It is just only two Bible readings. The others can be quoted off hand. Psalm 32 verse 8. Psalm 32 verse 8. Verse 8. The Bible says in verse 8. I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go. I will guide thee with my eye. This is God's promise and this is God's will for every of his children. God is very interested to take responsibility even in the area of making choice of life partner. God is very interested. So don't think that when it comes to marriage, God is too busy to be consulted. God is too busy to ask about. No. He said he is very willing to guide you, to instruct you, to direct you. He said he is very willing to even teach you in that way you should go. Anytime you see way in Scripture, most times he is talking about choice. Way. The choice. Are you with me? So when you are reading Scripture sometimes, when you see way, he is not talking about... Yes, he can talk about passage, but he is also talking about choice because you follow a way based on the choice. So if God said he is going to teach you the way to go, he is also saying that he is going to teach you on the choice to take. He is going to teach you on the choice. And as we talk about choice, we are also talking about decision. He is going to teach you on the decision to make. That is our first Bible reading. Let us go to the book of Isaiah chapter 30. Isaiah chapter 30. Isaiah chapter 30, I read verse 21. I know most of us are very familiar with this Bible passage. Most especially ministers of God that are praying, young ministers of God that are asking God, where should I go and start ministry? But now we are going to read it relating to marriage now. Isaiah chapter 30 verse 21. The Bible says, And thy and thine ears shall hear a word behind this, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it. This is the way, walk ye in it. When ye turn to the right hand and when ye turn to the left hand. Now where we have read these two Bible passages has given us a conviction that God can lead you into making the right choice. So this has brought a conviction that it is possible for you to receive the instruction of God, the direction of God on what choice of life partner you should make. I am going to explain this topic or teach this topic not using my personal examples or using the examples of other married men of God. No, I am going to teach you on a plain note. Then you, the Holy Spirit will direct you on how to apply it. The problem we are having is that we want our experience to be like other ministers experiences. If it is not like this man of God whom I am not going to marry. You see, there are many people that married right and they never for once had an audible voice from God. They only saw the sister serving the Lord in the house of God. And then something within them just said, this is your wife. Not that it was an audible voice, it came like a thought. And then they put it into practice. And it may be after five years they discovered that that voice that came to them like a thought was the voice of God. Yes, I remember a couple that just newly got married and at that time they were about two years in marriage. I think two years plus. And the wife was telling me that it was after two years that she realized that her husband was the will of God, was the choice of God for her. After two years. Yes, that before the two years when they newly got married she thought she had made a mistake because there were a lot of misunderstandings. Consistent misunderstandings happening between them. Yes, consistent misunderstandings happening. In fact, husband disagreeing with the wife, wife disagreeing, almost fighting. In fact, the thought of the sister was I have made a terrible mistake. A terrible mistake. And after two years that was when she realized that she had married the right person. Imagine she destroyed the marriage after just a month. You see, that is why they say marriage is for the adults, for the matured. Those that can be here because you see the right person may not look like the right person at the beginning. I'm saying this, the right person may not look like the right person at the beginning. That is why I would never tell you to use this pastoral experience to make a choice for your life. Don't use this man of God, this woman of God experience. Everybody, if you carry this, our fathers in the faith, Bishop W.F. Kumuye and our daddies and our fathers of faith and even our head of the ministers that are like in their 40s, 50s. If you ask them how they found their life partner, you will discover that every of their stories are not the same. Sorry, it's not the same. Every of their stories is not the same. You will discover that this one said, I met my wife in the church. This other one was, I met my wife even as a sinner. I never knew I would be the one to marry her. I preached to her she got born again and along the line we got married. You will see different stories. So what I am going to teach you is not using my personal experience on how I found my wife or using the experience of a person. I am going to teach you scripture and counselling. Then you should be the one to apply it as the spirit of God leads you. So we are talking about the right choice for marriage. The first thing we are going to consider to have proper understanding about is the word choice. If I ask you now what is the meaning of choice, you will have the answer. You may not be able to put it with some of you but you understand what it means to choose. What it means to have a choice. So we are going to first of all talk about choice. Then secondly we are going to talk about marriage. Before that we will consider the two words choice and marriage together. So the topic is the right choice for marriage. In our text we read that it is possible for God to lead a person. But may I say to everyone of you that it is not entirely the responsibility of God if you will not take part in partnership with God. You may say what about Adam? Adam was sleeping when God brought Eve to him. Yes, when God brought Eve to Adam, God didn't choose Eve for Adam. God brought Eve to Adam and Adam said behold this is my wife. It was not God that said this is your wife. God only brought Eve to Adam and Adam said this is my wife. So the choice is in partnership with God. God can lead you into making choice but God will not entirely make the choice for you as though you are a robot. You know God respects our decisions. God respects our own personal choices. But if we can be in partnership with God we are going to enjoy Him. So what is choice? From the dictionary meaning choice means the act of choosing. The act of choosing is called choice. Choice also means the act of selecting. When you are selecting someone, selecting things you are making a choice. When you are choosing things you are making a choice. And you must have this understanding at the back of your mind. That there are choices you will make in life that will have a great dangerous effect in your life. Every choice you make in life has effect either directly or indirectly. So there are choices that are so obvious that if you make mistake there the consequences will be so obvious that everybody will know that you made a mistake. And one of those choices is the choice for life partner. If you miss it here everybody will know you have missed it. Yes, it is something you can't hide. If you have made a mistake, whosoever makes mistake in the area of choice of life partner will eventually reflect the mistakes either in his life or the physical appearance or through his emotion to the society. His reflection to the society will communicate to the society that that man or that woman is in a bad marriage. So choice is not something we should just make out of excitement because your mate are getting married. They say, hey she is going, I just want to get married. You don't just get married because people are getting married. And that is why in this message you are going to learn the things you should discover first before you even say I want to get married. Are you getting me now? So choice is very very important which you don't take for granted. Yes, you shouldn't take it for granted. It is unfortunate that most men do not study women and most women do not study men. In fact, every woman should study their parents to catch a little knowledge about what is man. And every man should study their parents and their female similes to catch knowledge on what is woman. Because these are two different personalities coming together to unite as one. So there must be friction in some certain positions just for it to be able to what? To agree together. So choice of life partner is not something you should do. You should take with I don't care attitude. If you are making that choice, you must be so sure, so sure beyond reasonable doubt that you are making what is right and what you are going to enjoy from. And let me say this to you lest I forget. That your choice is a soulish decision. And because it is a soulish decision, every time you make choice, you have made a decision. It is your decision that is called your choice. But decision of itself is a soulish characteristic. It is not your spirit that makes decision. It is your soul. And your soul is very close to your body. Your spirit is the innermost part of you. Your soul is the middle man. Your body, your physical body, your flesh is the utter man. So your flesh and your soul are very, very close. That is why it is more easier for you to fall down doing praise and worship and you start weeping. Even when it is not the spirit of God that has touched you. Because of the emotion of the song, you fall down and cry. And when you stand up, you discover that you only stood up like the way you fell. There was no transformation. No changes. No impartation. Because the soul is so close to the body that it can pretend to be the spirit. You see, but if it is a spirit and then it touches your spirit, it always leaves a mark. Either at the end of it all, you will feel a renewal of strength. You will feel the presence of God so much. But I want to make it known to you that your soul is the closest personality to your body. So most times we express soul or soulishness in the church. And because of the closeness of the soul to your body, it affects or it influences our choices. It influences our choices. If you are a very emotional person, it is possible that you are going to be a very soulish person. What I mean is that you will be controlled majorly by your flesh. If you are a very emotional person, you will have problems with the flesh. Because Mr. Flesh will control a greater part of your life. If you are an emotional person. So you must understand that your choice is soulish and it can be influenced by one, your personal perspective. Your personal knowledge, that knowledge you have while growing up, has the ability to influence your choice. So sometimes when we say we want to do the will of God and God begins to direct us that this is the person, the knowledge we have. Maybe when you were very young, you don't really like all this albino. You know albino? Albinism. All those reddish people. You don't really like them when you were young because there was an albino in your compound, in your environment, your neighborhood where you stay. And that lady, that female albino was always doing something bad to you. Maybe always oppressing you. And then you grew up with that hatred for albinos and albinism. And now there's a lady who is like reddish in color, like an albino. And then God is even drawing your heart to that lady, towards that lady. But because of the knowledge you had, that long knowledge, that first knowledge, it becomes an indigence to you to make a choice. When you were very young, maybe your parents or probably the people you work with, your friends, your peer groups, they influence you to hate a short person. You say, I can never marry a short man. I can never marry a short woman. And these were just opinions of men that were discussed in your presence. Maybe because of the people you respected. And they were the ones that initiated you into this ideology. And now it is time for you to get married. And the man that is coming is short. He's three feet tall. And then you say, I can't marry, I can't marry. And it starts affecting your choice because of that knowledge. So, one of the indigencies, one of the things that influences our decision, or our choices, is our personal perspective. Personal perspective. The Bible says there are ways that are symmetrical to a man. But the end is destruction. The same Bible says, when the angel asked Ezekiel, what seeth thou? Ezekiel said, he saw this and that. And the angel said, for thou art seeth well. He saw. And the angel said, what he saw? He saw well. But Proverbs said, there's a man that seeth what is right. But he didn't see well. So, your personal perspective is very, very important in choice making. If you have the right perspective, and you see, you have seen well. If you have the wrong perspective, and you use it as a parameter, and you see, there's every possibility that you may have seen what is right in your own sight. But the end is destruction. So, we need to see with the perspective of God. So, personal perspective, personal understanding, personal knowledge, is one of the things that influences our decision. So, what perspective do you have in you? Is it spiritual? Is it divine? Or is it fleshly? Is it carnal? There are two factors that influence our decision. It's culture or tradition. Culture or tradition. Culture or tradition. Maybe your tradition forbids some certain people. You see, these people are outcasts. And then the man God is leading to you is from that same tribe, that same sect of people. And then you try to fight against the will of God. Culture or tradition can affect, can influence your choice. But the only thing that can influence your choice is religious mindset. Religious mindset. You see, the church you are going to can also affect your choices. In fact, almost every one of us are being affected. It's not that some of us are beginning to come to the knowledge of the truth and the light of the scripture. We were so indoctrinated that a Pentecostal would never, would never say anything good in other Pentecostal churches. But I'm going to come to the point whereby you, the things you need to consider, which make it the right choice. But you see, your religious mindset can also affect your choice. I must marry a man from my own denomination. If it is not my denomination, no marriage. I must marry a woman from my own denomination. If she is not in my denomination, no marriage. And now you are 40 years of age. Because everybody you come across with, they are from the other denomination. And the sisters in your own denomination are saying they are not going to get married to you. So it becomes an hindrance to your choice of life partner. Number three is family background. Family background can affect your choice of life partner. Family background. When you have a certain belief system in your family, that we don't marry those that are from poor family background. If they don't have graduates in their family, we are not going to marry. If they are not doctors and lawyers in their family, we are not going to marry. And then God is trying to lead you to a Mary that is from a poor background. But what she has in her has the ability to build a precedence in the future. But you reject the future and embrace the present and regret in the future. So family background can become an hindrance to choice making. You see, if you want to make it well, one of the things you must do is that you must divorce, or learn every family belief system that is not in accordance to scripture. Divorce them. It may be from your elder brother, your elder sister that sells those ideas to you, from your parents that sold those ideas to you and they are fighting against your choices now. First of all, unlearn those things. Then we learn. Okay. Then about six is personal preference. Personal preference or preferences can also affect your choice. I'm talking about choice now. We are going to go to marriage. Personal preferences can affect your choice of life partner. Yes. If there are people you don't like, you don't like a fair person. I remember I met a brother, a Christian brother. He said he doesn't like a fair lady. It's fair in complexion. But he said he does not like a fair lady. That he can't marry a fair lady. And that is his preference. And the way he was speaking, I knew he was very serious. And imagine God is trying to lead a fair lady to him, who will be of help to him in future. And he's rejecting it because of his personal preference. And that is why your problem is that every time you come to seek the face of God for a life partner, you come with your personal preference. Why not lay those things aside and come and seek God with open heart, empty heart, Lord let your will be done. So now we come to marriage. What is marriage? I'm not going to spend much time here. Marriage is God's divine idea. We know it to be the coming together of a man and a woman, joined together as one through marriage covenant. And that is what we believe to be called marriage. But you must understand that we must trace it to the originator. And the originator of marriage is who? Is God. So marriage is God's divine idea of bringing a man and a woman together, for the purpose of number one, partnership. One of the purposes of marriage is for partnership. You see, you may think you don't need a wife, until you come to the point where you start having betrayers all around you. People you can't count on, you can't plan, even among your siblings you can't plan destiny with. That is where you will know that it is blessed to have a wife, or to have a husband. It's for partnership. You need a partner in life, someone that will be at your side. When you are going through the hard time, when you are going through difficult time, when you are going through rejection, when you are going through opposition, someone you can cry before without shame. You know most of us are pretending. Yes, I've cried before my wife before. Most of us are pretending. You can come outside and be blasting in tongues, your heart is full of tears, just as you have not found the right person to cry to. But when you have a life partner, you won't be ashamed to pour your heart to her or to him. You need a life partner in this journey of life. We need a life partner to overcome depression. You know when you are in the midst of a very good life partner, the right one, not the wrong one. When you are in the midst of the right partner, right choice, or the life partner, there are some certain things you won't experience again. Loneliness will go, depression will go, there are some certain challenges that won't be there again. So God allows marriage for partnership, partnership in the plan of God, partnership in the purpose of God, partnership in your family achievements. Number two, marriage is for companionship. Sorry, sorry. So marriage is for companionship. By companionship, by companionship I mean friendship. You know there's a difference between a wife and a friend. You know your wife, you can have your wife. A lady can be your wife and not your friend. But there's no how you make your wife your friend and you will never enjoy that marriage. Who is a friend? If it comes to your playmate, your playmate, your, your cheats mate, someone you cheat with, you know someone you discuss, you plan with. Friendship, in friendship, that does not mean there won't be misunderstanding, but because you are friends, eh, you forget, you let go. So when there is friendship, companionship, you won't, the woman won't be like a slave in the marriage. You treat the woman with respect. Because in friendship, respect is reciprocal. So marriage is for friendship. It's for you to have someone you can play with, you can plan with, you can go out with, you can, you know, do all manner of pleasure with. That is called for companionship. It's to, it's to, it's to, you know, fill that gap of sense of isolation or loneliness. So when a friend is with you, you don't feel lonely again. Companionship, to fight for one another, to defend one another, that is companionship. The number three, marriage is for procreation. For procreation. It's also for giving of birth, you know, when God called Adam and Eve, when he joined them together, they began to produce, reproduce. For procreation. To give birth, to fill the earth with offsprings. And you must understand that marriage is solely between a man and a woman. Not between a man and many women. Marriage is just one man, one woman. Not one woman and many men. One man and one woman. And get this clear that for our marriage to be successful, it must have these three things, sorry, these four things. For our marriage to be successful, these four things must exist. Number one, purpose-driven. You want to get married now, sister? Are you purpose-driven? Any marriage that is not purpose-driven, we measure the minor and minor on the measure. That means all their responsibility is just to give birth to the children, take care of the children. The children grows up and they get to an institution and they get married. The husband and wife, the highest they can do is just to impact the children. That is their own. Because there is no purpose-driven. But when there is purpose-driven, you will know that you are not only saying to your children. You will impact your society. There will be something that will keep you and your wife on daily busyness. Marriage should be purpose-driven. Purpose-driven. Unfortunately, many men have never discovered their purpose before they consider woman for marriage. They went into marriage without first discovering purpose. So, the moment they entered into marriage, the next day they start giving birth. You know, they start giving birth. The next day, all they are talking about is money for the children, money for home, money for this one. No purpose-driven, nothing, nothing. For the marriage to last, for the marriage to be called successful marriage, a successful marriage is not necessarily a marriage that the husband and wife grow old together and die. A successful marriage is a marriage that fulfilled purpose. So, even if the husband and wife, if they died at the age of 50, if they have fulfilled their purpose on earth, God has taught them a successful marriage. So, marriage must be purpose-driven. And that is why I do tell my congregation, I don't joke with purpose. Because if you don't have purpose, I won't encourage you to marry our sister, our sisters, or to marry any lady. Because the moment you do the court wedding, the church wedding, the traditional wedding, and all the weddings, and both of you come back home, you will discover that the next question you want to answer is, what next? Because if what next is just sex, you'll be frustrated. You will have the sex 24 hours. You can't even have it twice a day. If all is just sex. But the question will be after the sex, what next? What next? So, it must be purpose-driven. Number two, marriage must be mutually sacrificial. It must not be one-sided area of sacrifice. Sometimes when the man is the one taking major part of responsibility, you, the woman, when you go out, you know that this man is the one taking responsibility. I'm talking to the married ones now. And the woman is coming back home, buy something for the man. Even if it's just biscuits. And some of you will be laughing. Even if it is just biscuits, buy biscuits for the man. You see, the man gives more than you. He takes care of the family more than you. But don't think that the man is a robot. He's robotic. The man needs a mutual sacrifice. You may not be able to give to the man in the same degree of sacrifice he has given to you. But show sacrifice. Show love towards him. Surprise him with underwears, boxers. Surprise him with singlets. Surprise him with shoes. Surprise him. Even if he's taking major part of your responsibility, surprise him with food choice. Surprise him with food. Not every time, what are we going to cook? Sometimes cook something, discover his best choice of food, and just surprise him with that food. Marriage lasts when it is mutually sacrificial. Not one-sided, but coming from both sides towards one another. Marriage becomes successful when it is godly in culture. Godly in culture. Your belief system in that home is godliness. The children grow up learning godliness from you, the parents. Godliness. They wake up seeing you, money, devotion. They wake up in the night seeing daddy, seeing mommy, having personal time with God. They are growing up and learning without you teaching. Without you speaking with your mouth, your life is already communicating to them values for the home. When it is godly in culture. Misunderstanding is there. There is no shouting and screaming before the children. You can amicably go to your bedroom and you can fight there and settle there and come out of it, come out smiling. Not that the wife is showing an attitude towards the husband. In the presence of the children. How the husband is furious and shouting and screaming in the presence of the children. Understand that a successful marriage embraces godliness in culture. There is a family culture. There is a kind of culture in your home. Even a single, you are training yourself in that pathway. Newly wedded people, people that come to visit you in your home, they are seeing an atmosphere of godliness. Godliness. Marriage is successful if love is unconditional. It must have unconditional love. Not love that is recorded. Remember I did this for you the other time. It is not your time for you to do for me. No. Now, I would come to understand about marriage. I have explained to you about choice. I have explained to you about marriage. What about the right choice for marriage? How can we find the right choice for marriage? Now, when I talk about the right choice, in this context, there are four things that the right choice is not about. In case you want to misinterpret this seminar, there are four things that the right choice is not all about. It is not about. When I talk about the right choice, I am not talking about beauty examination. Beauty or handsomeness examination. The right choice is not who is beautiful among these ten people that are coming. Sorry, among these ten ladies I want to marry. Who is handsome among these ten men that are coming. Beauty and handsomeness should not be among the consideration of choice of life partner. I am not saying that is not important. It is important, but it is not essential. It is not a real thing because beauty can be made. Can be made. That is why we have makeup. People make up to become beautiful. There is a way you can take care of a woman who you think is not beautiful and you give the woman the right food and give her the right treatment to become a beautiful. So, that is not the first thing to consider. So, we talk about the right choice. Don't think about the beauty examination. Many men, that is what they are focusing on. Even Christian brothers. Many women, this brother is handsome. He has eyes. In fact, these five brothers that are coming. I don't like that first one because look at it. It is like that. This is a very short brother. I can't marry you. In their mind, and when the brother keeps coming, I am still praying about it. They are not praying. They are only considering the height. They say the brother is not too handsome because he is very dark in complexion. Oh, I can't marry him because he is very albino. He is an albino. You have different reasons. When we talk about the right choice, you don't consider beauty first. We are not talking about beauty examination. Don't examine any beauty. Number two, when we talk about the right choice for marriage, you must not consider family evaluation. As important as family is, don't consider first family evaluation. Remember at the beginning of this message, of this seminar, I explained to you that there is a difference between the will of God and the choice of God. If that person is born again, sincerely born again, is a child of God, is a member of the household of faith, then pray about him. He is the choice of God. If God says that that person is the choice of God, and that person is coming from a very poor background, that is not what God is talking about. You see, God does not look at the past to judge the future. He is talking about the future because He is dealing with you. He is judging you from the future. He knows that if you marry that lady, although she is from a poor background, but if you marry her, she has what she takes to be able to make you to become a great man, even greater than your own family. So God deals with us during the end from the beginning. So consider this area that choice of life partner is very important, and when we are talking about the right choice, we are not talking about family evaluation. Number three, we are not talking about tribal consideration. Tribal consideration. If it is not for my tribe, oh, it is only these tribes I love getting married to. These other tribes, I don't like them. You see, there are many people that have married from not the same tribe you like, and their marriage never passed through two days. Some of them, their marriage never passed three weeks, a year. At the end of it, all is diverse. So you must not consider tribalism. When you are looking for the right choice, and you are praying about it, let your heart focus on doing the will of God. Doing the will of God. So the right choice in this context is not also necessarily financial qualification. As important as finance is, because I want to encourage you that the brother is not doing anything, he doesn't have a source of income, a stable source of income, or probably a source of income, that he can use to feed himself and his wife, and then he is considering marriage. I'm not saying that you can't go into marriage. No, don't misquote my word. But if you come to me for counsel, I will advise that the brother, if he doesn't have a certificate that can possibly give him a job tomorrow, is not into ministry. Because ministry is not a jobless work. Ministry is a work too. And when you labor for God, a laborer is worthy of his wages. God will pay you. And the brother is not learning a skill or learning a business. I would advise you to put that marriage on hold. The planning to get married, put it on hold first. Let there be a little light before you come together. It's very important. Because marriage is not freedom from responsibility. Marriage is, in fact, you taking the decision that you want to enter bigger responsibility. So, financial qualification should not be a reason for choosing a life partner. Even as much as it is important, it shouldn't be the right choice in consideration. Now, you must understand that the right choice is actually choosing someone that can be the help and assistance you need to fulfill your God-given purpose on earth. While you're getting married, you need a life partner to be able to fulfill the purpose of God for you on earth. So, for the woman that is getting married to the man, you are getting married to a man that can help you to fulfill the purpose of God on earth. For the woman that is getting married to the man, you are going to help the man to fulfill his God-given purpose. So, the right choice is that man or that woman that fits into the position of helping you to become or to fulfill the purpose of God on earth. If such a person is not coming to help you to fulfill your God's divine calling, it is not the right choice. It is not the right choice. I repeat, remember I said that God can only guide you, but God will never choose for you. God can only say this is the way, but God will never tell you that by force you must walk in it. If God said walk in it, He will not push you. He will not force you into it. He will only give instruction. It is your decision to make a choice to either follow His instruction or not. Are you getting me now? So, understand this, that the right person, the right choice of life partner is coming to help you to fulfill your purpose in life. If God has called you to be a businessman, your life partner should not be a woman that do not have interest for the business because it will be a problem. So, your choice will not be a woman among the tribe of God, among the children of God, a woman that believe in business and she has a great passion to carry out business. You are called for the ministry. You are marrying a woman that doesn't like ministry, that like business, that like career. You can't be compatible together. So, the right choice at that point, she may be born again. The other son may be born again. The other four sisters may be born again. They are the will of God, but they are not the choice of God. And that you prayerfully make a choice and God directs you to someone that has great interest in your ministry. You see, if you are minister of God and God gives you a wife, she will be your first member. She will be your first member. When I say your first member, you see, in ministry, there are times in life where everybody will run away. Everybody will begin to pursue their own purpose. I will tell you that, see, this God's calling is for you alone. When God called me, He said, I should go and be a carpenter. I want to focus on my carpentry business. Please, I will not be able to be coming to church again or to be coming to your church again. But you see, that life partner God has given to you, in thick and in thin, in sunshine and in rainy season, anytime, anywhere, any day, he or she will cleave to you. The both of you will cry together. That is why, if you can enjoy ministry, your wife and the few others that believe in your calling, never you make them to suffer in future. Make sure, not those who carry cash, because ministry before God will release doors, open doors for you. He will first shake your ministry. Are you with me now? Before doors will be open to you, your ministry will be shaken. The purpose of God shaking your ministry is because He wants some of them that have double mind to live. So when He shakes the ministry, some of them will start missing meetings. Those that are missing, you start taking note of them. But you will see that your life partner, either your husband, maybe you are a sister God for the ministry, your husband, you will see him that he is always there with you. He is always advising you. He is always encouraging you to keep going. Then after God has finished shaking and everybody have left, before you look, you know, there is a difference between somebody pray and a feather and scatter share. I am not saying that is bad, but that is not what God, that is not the power of God. That is not what the power of God is all about. You will not discover that they will bring a dead man and it will be the day you have not prayed for two days. So that when you do the miracle, you will know that it was not you that did that miracle. So God will allow an open door to happen at the time you have not been praying for days. And He will allow that dead man to come back to life. So that you will not have any reason to glorify flesh. But you will see that those few people, that is why by the grace of God, you see, there are people that have been laboring with me. My prayer is that they will not leave me before the sunshine. Because they have the tendency to leave. There will be things that will be dragging you to leave. Because it is still part of the test. There will be things that will be dragging people to leave. But I pray you should be with me and labor with me to the rising of the sun. Are you getting me? So the life partner will be that person that is always at your side, when everybody has deserted you, avoided you. You will see that mercy in that business. You will see that mercy in that business. Your wife will still be fighting for you for your business to stand. When all your capital has gone, you will see your wife, you will see your husband keep giving you money as capital. You will see your husband keep, although you are not making profit, we should have bring an offense towards the family. Or your wife, your husband will say, don't worry dear, I know you are not making any profit. It is as if we are wasting money there but just keep going. Take money, go and start the business again. That is a life partner. He believes in your vision. He believes in your purpose. He believes in the calling of God in your life. Right choice, we will talk about right choice. It is more of compatibility. Right choice is more of what? Compatibility. When we talk about right choice, we are talking about more of what? Compatibility. So before you consider the right choice, you have personal responsibility to do. You know some of us will say that Lord I need a right partner. When you yourself are the wrong partner to every right partner. Yes, you need a right partner but you are wrong. So for you to start saying that you need a right choice, you must have a right perspective, right idea about marriage. How many books have you read? How many messages have you listened to on marriage? Have you educated your mindset concerning marriage? Or you are seeing marriage like you marrying a woman and turning that woman to become a slave. Have you studied about marriage? Have you listened to messages on marriage? So for you to find the right person, you must be Mr. Right. You must be Ms. Right. That means you must have a right perspective. Number two, you must be in a right relationship with God. How is your personal life with God? Your personal relationship? Are you still spending quality time with God in the presence of God? In worship, in prayer? Are you still having quality time with God? Are you still eating and feeding on God's Word? Right relationship with God. Number three is right position in life. Right position. Are you an I do person? You are not doing anything. I do. You are sleeping, snoring. Nothing. You are not busy. You are not busy in the ministry. You are not busy in career. You are not busy in business. You must be in the right thing. You must be doing the right thing. Look at Rebecca. When Abraham's servant was looking for a wife for Isaac, it was at the stream, the river, where Rebecca came to give the animals some water to drink. The animals. That was where the servant of Abraham saw Rebecca. You must be after a business. You must be doing something. My sister, go and do something. Go and learn skills. Go and pursue your career. Enough of panty face, panty nails, sleeping, waking up. See, if you are looking for a soft, comfortable life now, you are going to end up in hardship. See, go and struggle now. Go and build yourself. Build your communication ability. Build your self-esteem. Grow in knowledge. Develop yourself. Don't be idle. Be in the right position. My brother, go and do something. Go and do something. Go and pursue something. In the church, do something. Enough of sitting down, sitting down, sitting down. Get busy for God. Get busy. Let them see you. You are praying. You are leading openly prayer. You are singing prayers and watching. Be busy for God. That is how God rewards men. Get busy. Then you must have the right purpose in life. If I ask you now, how many of you have discovered purpose in life? Almost every one of you will say, I don't know. I am not too sure. The answer will be either I don't know or I am not too sure. So, you don't know what you are living for. You think you were just created into this world by accident. So, you are just living. You are not living for something. If you die, what will people know you for? Live for something. Define yourself. If you have no purpose in life, it means that you have not defined yourself. If you have no purpose in life, it means you have not defined yourself. Define yourself. What are you pursuing? What is your passion? What is your heart beat? What gives you pain if you are not fulfilling that thing? From the very moment I received the call of God in 2015, when I heard the audible voice of God in my room on the 25th of July 2015, I knew I would end up in ministry. I knew. Although I was pursuing a career, I knew I should start developing myself. At that point, I started developing myself. Preparing myself for the ministry. Listening to messages on ministry. Being the right purpose of life. As believers, for you to make the right choice for marriage, you need to ask someone that must fit into these four factors. You need to ask someone that must fit into these four factors. Number one, Spiritual compatibility. Spiritual compatibility. I told you that there is a difference between the will of God and the choice of God. For example, somebody that is a member of Deeper Life Bible Church, getting married to someone that is a member of Christ's Embassy Church. Christ's Embassy and Deeper Life, they are the same Christians. They may have different ideology, but they are the same children of the kingdom. But you see what? Spiritual compatibility means that there is a spiritual belief system. The same spiritual belief system. A man that doesn't believe that a woman should put on trousers, should not go and try to marry a woman that is putting on trousers. And you say you are going to change her. How are you going to change her? You are going to cause problems. She doesn't see anything wrong in that. You see something wrong in that. And there are many other sisters that are not putting on trousers. Why don't those go for those ones? You are a man of God. I'm sorry. You are a sister that doesn't like a man that keeps beers. And the one that you are about to get married to is keeping beers. And you are saying that it's a sin. And you say he doesn't see it as a sin. Although he is a spiritual brother, but he doesn't see anything keeping a moustache. And you are saying that he just wants to scrape everything, no hair on his face and no beers at all. And now he is causing problems. There must be spiritual compatibility. Doctrine 9. Having the same belief system in doctrine What I believe is what she believes. There must be compatibility in that area. Number 2. Blood or genotype compatibility. If you want to make the right choice among the will of God, there must be blood or genotype compatibility. Blood or genotype compatibility. You are SS or AS. And the brother that is coming is AS or SS. And you are saying there is nothing God cannot do. We know there is nothing God cannot do. You see, at the earlier beginning of this message, I wanted to say this but I forgot. There are 2 ways God leads a man. Number 1 is through voice. Number 2 is through wisdom. Now the voice of God can come through still human voice, through your mind, through prophetic. That is the voice of God. Number 2 is the wisdom of God. The wisdom of God is whereby you didn't hear God but you know what to do. You are not hearing God. Like God is not saying that, do this thing. But you know what to do at the right time. The Bible says that the children of Israel who had understanding of the time and they knew what Israel ought to do. When you know what you ought to do, it's called wisdom. It's called wisdom. So it is not everything God will come and say, don't marry SS. Wisdom is profitable to direct because wisdom is a leader that directs. If you follow wisdom, it will direct you to life. So there must be genotype compatibility. It was something I checked first when I wanted to marry my wife. Something I had to check first. It's not something we should just excuse about. I knew I was O positive. I have no problem. AA, O positive. So, no problem. And I said, okay, what about... I discovered that we are the same. O positive, O positive. AA, AA, AA. I said, no problem. We are fit to move. We move. Am I right? Then, almost same belief system. You must check if this person has almost the same belief system. Understand that I'm not saying that the person is perfect, but if belief system is similar with yours. For example now, he doesn't believe in divorce and remarriage. And you yourself, you don't believe in divorce and remarriage. If both of you have the same mindset, there is no way there will be divorce in the marriage. He doesn't believe in adultery. He doesn't even do that. He hates that. He detests that. And you yourself, you detest that. See, there are some cardinal belief systems you should check up. If the person you want to get married to ask, if the person does not see anything bad in sex before marriage, it's already a red flag that he will not see anything bad in sex with other ladies inside marriage. So, you check those belief systems. You pump it up. Is it the type that doesn't care about marriage, doesn't see values in marriage? He wants to be making love with you, he says, let us keep loving ourselves. But he's not ready to get married to you. Understand this. It will destroy your life. Check the mindset. Are you almost having the same belief system? The last of it all before we end off this seminar is purpose compatibility. Purpose compatibility. Are your purpose in alignment? Like I said, a man that God has called to be a traveling evangelist or a traveling missionary that will be moving with his family from country to country and is getting married to a woman, I believe in dwelling in one place as a business woman without traveling. There will be issues. So, there must be purpose compatibility. It may not be the same area of calling, but it's similar. It is similar. If, for example, now your wife is into the medical line or pharmacist and you are a missionary, both of you are free to go any village you go to. If you are spending five years there, your wife opens a pharmaceutical store or shops and starts selling drugs to the people. Or as you are preaching, your wife is treating the sinners or the saved believers that are sick. So, you must check the area of compatibility. It's very, very important. So, I repeat before I end up this evening that the will of God is that the person is born again. The person has his name in the book of life. The person is genuinely born again. Not hypocritical. That is the will of God. But the choice of God is that you take that person to the Lord in prayer to ask the Lord if that person fits you. And as you are asking the Lord, you are still playing your part to evaluate the person to know all these things I mentioned. Spiritual compatibility, genotype compatibility, belief system and purpose compatibility. You check it. And the person fits all of these four. The person fits all of these four. And you check other areas like is he responsible? What job is he doing? All these other areas because you want to check whether he can take care of the home. Because a man that can't take care of his home, obviously is worse than infidel. Because many infidels take care of their homes. So all those other things can then come after you check his financial life. Even if he is not receiving a huge amount of salary, but what he is receiving monthly, what comes is monthly income is able to keep you and him together in marriage. You check that. But the most important things are the spiritual compatibility, genotype compatibility, same belief system, purpose compatibility. Purpose. And make sure that he is responsible, that she is responsible. Not someone that is just trying to feast on you, to pest on you. You know some brothers can just be lazy and they are waiting for hardworking sisters so that they can ravage her and take advantage of her income. Some sisters are very lazy and hideo, idolate and hideo and then they will be waiting for a hardworking brother so take advantage of. But you must check them, check their belief system towards working. Check it very well. Check the ideology on laboring, taking care of the home and prayerfully follow that and God will guide you in Jesus name. Shall we bow our head and in prayers and talk to the Lord? Begin to ask God and say, Lord, you have spoken to me, lead me to the right choice of life partner. Let us begin to talk to the Lord now. Let us begin to pray. Every one of us, let us close our eyes and begin to pray. Make sure you are talking to God.