New wine for Marital bliss by Pst Mrs AJISOLA

Marita Blythe, which means perfect happiness in marriage, is not solely a spiritual matter. Ignorance is a common reason for unhappy marriages. Marriage is an action that requires effort from both husband and wife. It is important to leave titles and professional roles outside the home and focus on being a loving spouse. Marriage requires intentional work and nurturing to maintain happiness. Both husband and wife must bring their values and contribute to the relationship. Marriage exposes who we truly are and requires consistent prayer and communication. Divorce should not be an option unless there is domestic violence. Knowing and understanding each other's personalities is crucial for a blissful marriage. Today is a new day. Let me just kick off from where my husband stopped. New wine for Marita Blythe. Like he said, Blythe means perfect happiness, great joy, a state of complete happiness. Many a times today when you look into marriages, even of the ministers of God, many a times it's nothing to write home about. So the very first thing I want us to know is marriage is not 100% spiritual matter. Because we carry spirituality into marriage. Many people outside there are not born again. They are doing marriage very well. They are enjoying marriage. Then why are we not? Why are our homes not blissful? Because of ignorance many a times. You should be spiritualized every day. Marriage is like 70% is not spiritual. We know God instituted marriage. And God is the author we know. That is the spiritual aspect of it. That God has finished everything that he wants to do about the marriage. The struggling of the marriage to make it blissful, he has given you that assignment. So the two people in the marriage, the husband and the wife, you have to do it. Marriage is an action. You have to do it. You don't get a blissful marriage by saying I'm a child of God, I'm a minister of the gospel. You can't rebuke to get Marita Blythe. Speaking a tongue will not give you Marita Blythe. High anointing will not make it happen. You can get the thought in the ministry. But in the home front, you have to come there as a man and as a woman. Don't come to the home as a pastor. Maybe your congregation is very many. Daddy, daddy, daddy. Then you come to the house. You see one that's no. When you are coming to the home as a family man, come like a husband to your wife. Come like a wife to your husband. Forget the title of the pastor. Forget the title. If you are a professional, you are a doctor, you are a lawyer, put out the wig. When you come to the home, come like a lover boy, lover girl. You are a pastor, there are some things that your wife cannot do. No. You want bliss. You want every moment to be enjoyable. We know there will be hitches here and there. But if you really mean the business, you want it to be perfect happiness, you have to work it out. Nothing works until you work it out. Nobody is coming to help you. The two of you must be intentional. You want a marital bliss, you want to be blissful, you want every moment to be memorable, then you must be intentional about it, the husband and wife. Marriage is like a garden you planted. Beautiful things may be there, but if you just turn away from it, your garden, leave it for a month. By the time you go there, do you miss the things you planted there? No. Weeds will have overgrown. All the beauty will be covered by thorns. Anything can enter into it and hit and pluck. So that is marriage. It has to be tendered. You have to nurture it. A moment of picking the weeds, those are the unwanted things in the marriage, has to be picked out. The husband, you are the groom. You have to groom your wife. Ah, my wife is not good. She is bad. God has given her to you now. Here she sees the will of God. You see the will of God that the work of tendering has been given unto you. Tender down, woman. Which kind of wife do you desire? You can shape your wife to be. Which kind of husband do you desire? You can make your husband to be. By working on the marriage, not complaining. So it takes two to tango. Don't just come. Some people come into marriage with the idea that when I get there, my husband will fix me. No, nobody will fix you. Don't come to marriage with the mind that my husband will do this, my husband will do that. My wife, no. You are coming. What are you coming with? You come there with values. You place the value on the table. Husband, what do you bring in? What do I bring in? That is what will make the marriage work. You come there with the mindset that oh, that man, marriage will not fix you. Marriage will expose you. Expose who you are. When you come to marriage, that is where you are. And I don't know that it's like this, so you can sing beautifully in the choir. Ah. I don't know. This man is firebrand. Why is he minister like this? Marriage will expose us. We can't hide. When we get into marriage again, we will let down. Everything about us will come out. So we have to work about it. So marriage should be for mutual benefit. That is why it involves the two. Praise the Lord. So we must determine to make it work. You can have what you desire if you are ready to pay the price. So marriage is not a walk in the park. You know, when you walk in the park, you stroll. Marriage is not strolling. Hard work. Hard and deliberate work. You know, when I wanted to get married, I told myself, this marriage will work in my hand. I will not go back. Because I came from a polygamous family. My father had three wives. My mother happened to be the fourth. And he had ten children. Three females. Each woman has a lady. My mother was the last. I was the last girl. So I see the two. They have issues with their marriages. So I've told myself, oh, dear God, I will not. There are mistakes I will not make. And God will help me. I got born again. Before I got married. But even after that, I was intentional. Because what happens in your family will come back asking for you. Even when you are born again. It will come back. The story won't run. But it's you. Now you know this is what happens in my family. It won't happen. I see some women, they will say, hey, hey, hey, I can go. I will go back. So my father said, I want to marry you. Yes. They are still after you. If you can say it with your mouth, then you can go back. Because your sisters, they are going back. So you want to go back too. They are calling you. So we must be intentional. So God is the author that will know. So at least if there is a problem, you want to be someone, we need to ask God. That this is what and whether two of us must pray together. Consistently. It may not be every morning. Because at times we have different schedules. But make sure that you are consistent in the place of prayer. Matthew 18, 19 says, again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree or not as touching anything that they ask, it shall be done for them. So we need to come together to ask for bliss. I know devil is there. I won't want you to have bliss. Because you are ministers of God. When the home front is not peaceful, you know the ministry will not be peaceful. So we should know that. And that is why I will usually run to my husband when we have issues there. On Saturday night, this man, I will have to go. Please. Just to settle. Because I know tomorrow he is going to minister. I will leave minister with anger, with bitterness, with unforgiveness. And over time, we settle issues. In fact, what causes us problems then? We laugh over it now. When you do it, you don't say, it will just smile. Praise the Lord. So we should know also, if you want to have a blissful home, that is not an option. Because this day we have, if it's not working, I can work out. If you have all that at the back of your mind, you won't be ready to fix anything. That is why you hear irreconcilable differences. Ah! Mokulekari. There is nothing that cannot be resolved. If you have made up your mind that there is no option B, there is no alternative, this marriage must work. So you have that room in your heart. If it's going, going in a wire, you go, God, please help me. What can I do? When you know, I can work out, then you won't consider doing anything. Malachi 2.16 says that when, Malachi 2.16, you can't live. God is diverse. The only ground by which you can separate when there is domestic violence, if you are being abused, you are being tortured in that marriage, you can excuse yourself. That is the only ground. At least in the church now that we are allowed, okay, just excuse yourself for a while. Let people come in and resolve the issue. But aside that, we must not think of divorce, that I want to live. No. And another important ingredient towards marital bliss, you must know yourself. My husband mentioned it in passing. You must know one another. Who is this man, who is this woman that married? At times you can see five years, ten years, twenty years in marriage, they don't know one another. And if you don't know one another, you keep fighting. Like he said, where are you coming from? Who are you? Their personalities will come to play. It will come to play. We have about four different types of person. Some are choleric, some are sanguine, some are phlegmatic, some are melancholy. If you are melancholy, you marry sanguine. Because she will talk and talk and talk and talk. And melancholy, they are introverts. So when the woman is talking about, oh God, where did I see this woman? You need to understand. And there is strength in their talking. If you understand that and you help her to channel that grace to profitable things. So if you marry a melancholy, you say, oh God, I am in sorrow. Eh? My God, I am in sorrow. Eh? Yes! Because this thing has broken. My father has a fourth daughter of blessed memory now. That was what broke her marriage. It's now that I knew that, oh, because the husband, perfect melancholy. And my sister, sanguine, all the way south, patini, no dumb woman. And the man will stay in the house, get, get. Now, he is a teacher then. He will just stay on Saturday, oh, the newspaper of the week. That is where, he will pack them, be reading them page to page, parley to parley. Just sit down. Then my sister will want to go out. Will want to be talking up and down. Nobody is responding to her. Eventually, that marriage broke. Because my sister went out, to start doing rubbish outside. Before they don't understand one another. Try to understand the personality of your spouse. That is why the Bible says, I will give him an herb meat. Herb meat. So where she is deficient, you are there. Where you are deficient, you will be there. And where they are coming from, the kind of upbringing, to affect who we are. At times, that upbringing, alter our personality. The real you will be masked, by events, by happenings of life, as we are growing. If we grow from one auntie, to another auntie, to another brother, the personality will be altered. Because different encounter, different encounter, will mask the real you. That is why some people, they have pseudo personality. The real them, is inside. That has been masked, by the circumstances of life. Then you must know the culture, of the person. Even if you are not from the same culture, if you are a Bambarian or an Igbo, you need to know, how do they behave, where he or she is coming from. Bible says, in John 8, 32, you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. You need to know. Many things we are fighting about, we don't need to fight. If you really know. My husband said, he gets angry easily. There, not now. If your husband gets angry easily, then as a wife you will know, he won't want to do something, that will get him angry. Some people beat their wives today, not because they want to, but because of the temperament. And the wife is not there to help him. And you know, the young guy is at the tip of the finger. If you say something, if he gets angry, don't foil it. If you keep quiet, that anger will subside. There is a way we say, one, then my father-in-law, my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law, that is why he beats you, he keeps beating you. He will hit you, before he will realize he is a pastor. I have to foil it. Is it because I am talking like that? You beat me, and you call yourself a pastor. You want to know another one? So you need to know, and help one another. If your husband is slow, and you are quick at doing things, you need to help him. My husband, let's do this, let's do that, it is dragging, you just initiate it, dragging, along. Ah, you will not answer, you will not do it. No, you don't need to complain. That is why you are there, to help one another. So if you know one another very well, fighting, misunderstanding, will be reduced, to the barest, minimal. Even when there are issues, because of what you have known, you will be able to resolve. There are some issues, that you can't, they cannot change in us. There are things, that no matter, how we try here and there, that kind of things, otidibaraku, that is what Yoruba call it, then you need, adaptability now coming. How am I going to adapt, to the lifestyle, things, that cannot change about my spouse, for all, to be happy, in this marriage. How? Then, look at it. So that is where you are going to adapt, you are going to pay the price, for peace. Because when there is no peace, there can be no bliss. No peace, no bliss. And you have to pay the price, for peace. Peace. Peace will not come, with this. My husband said, he started pressing, when I pressed the toothbrush anyhow, he had paid the price, just price, he didn't know. You know, my husband is a person, that is a very detailed person. No matter how tired he is, when he comes back from church, he will put, return everything, to where they are supposed to be. The shoe, he will remove, he will dust it, he will place it, where it is supposed to be. The trouser, he will remove, he will shake off the dust, like this. He will hang it, he will put it. Everything, they might say, I have just entered, anywhere, I will just scatter. Praise the Lord. He will just say, ah, he will be angry. Eh, where are you? If you touch his things, if my husband put his phone, like this, did you see it? 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