Fraternity Member

Rachel Rubins interviews a student at Franklin and Marshall College about gender roles and power hierarchies in the party culture. The student, Brandon, is part of the Phi Kappa Sigma fraternity and also involved in IMPACT and the school's athletic department. He describes a typical weekend as spending time with friends, playing video games, and occasionally attending parties. Brandon explains that party planning is usually done by the social chair and involves coordinating with other organizations. The fraternity has a blacklist to ensure a safe environment and monitors who is allowed to attend parties. Hosting a party involves setting up, monitoring the entrance, and ensuring a smooth event. Despite the responsibilities, Brandon still finds time to have fun. The fraternity's focus is on recruitment and promoting a positive social image. Brandon also attends parties at other locations, such as the Swim Loft, and Impact and Sisters house. Hello, my name is Rachel Rubins, and I'm here interviewing a student at Franklin and Marshall College. It is November 14th, 2023, and we are recording in the Shattuck-Fackinsell Library. We will be discussing gender roles and the hierarchies of power in Franklin and Marshall's party culture. Now to start, could you please introduce yourself and your involvement on campus? My name is Brandon. I am part of Phi Kappa Sigma, one of the fraternities here, also known as S.C.U.L.L.S. I may refer to it as S.C.U.L.L.S., it's just the shorthand. I'm also in IMPACT. I've been in that for three years now. And then I also work for the school's athletic department. I'm one of the five head athletic student heads, and we oversee the entire student body that works in the athletic department. And if you feel comfortable, could you share your gender identity? Yeah, so I identify as male. I use he, him pronouns. Could you walk me through a typical weekend at Franklin and Marshall for you? Well, a typical weekend, I usually don't go out, but probably once or twice a month I do go out to a party, probably one day a week. And so normally on the weekend I will, I don't know, I'll have some drinks with my friends, play some video games. Sunday nights we'll watch football games, make phone calls to my family, talk to them. And then if I go out to a party, usually there's some sort of orchestration with my friends. And then, of course, on occasion we will have parties at our fraternity. We usually have parties one to two times a month, usually. We're not like five, so I know they throw like every weekend. We're not quite that consistent. We're closer to one to two times a month. And so when you guys do host parties, who plans them? What are the logistics that go into that? Yeah, so typically the person who's in charge of planning our parties is our Psy, or our social chair. They do have a lot of communication with like the president. And then we have discussions about what we are interested in doing in chapter, typically a week to two to three weeks before we actually have a party, who we're interested in throwing with. Our social chair will interact with other organizations, sometimes that's sports teams. Sometimes we, we usually always mix with a primarily female organization. Sometimes that's sororities, sometimes that's sports teams. I don't usually honestly know which ones we're mixing with, in full disclosure. I'm not in charge of that. I just kind of show up and help out. But we do also like, you know, we do mix with most of the sororities. Sometimes we mix with Impact and Sisters, that sort of thing. And that's usually what we're doing. And then, yeah, I guess the communication is just the social chair reports back to us what they hear and confirm with those organizations and their social chairs. And then we kind of plan it from there. And is, does the, after the initial mixer, is there ever a time where it opens up to the general public or no? Yeah, so typically we have a list, right, for who's allowed to come in. If we feel that we have a capacity with which we can let people in, we usually will. If it's packed, you know, we will, you know, be restrictive. And then, I mean, of course, if people start to leave, then we'll let people come in. It honestly really comes down to, like, a circumstantial situation, right. Do we feel like we can, in a safe way, have an X amount of people in our house? And that is really how we decide if we're going to let people in who aren't on the list. And are there certain reasons to let certain people in or not others? A lot of it has to do with, like, if we know someone. We do also have a pretty extensive blacklist. We try, we do, we go out of our way to try and make our parties an environment where people feel safe. The second someone mentions to us, oh, my friend, you know, doesn't feel comfortable around this guy, right. Our blacklist is mostly guys. The second someone says, oh, he has a Title IX or, oh, he, you know, was groping my friend at a party, right. We take that so seriously. But, like, the second we hear that, or even if someone tells, like, if a girl tells us that, like, that guy makes us uncomfortable, immediately blacklisted. We are, of course, never perfect at keeping everyone out of the parties. But if someone does get in who's on our blacklist, we do what we can to keep them out. And if someone is causing issues, we remove them. And the people on the blacklist, are they also the people within the frat as well? We don't have anybody in the fraternity that's active that is on a blacklist. I, there might be some people that are in, like, Phi Psi that are on our blacklist. I'm not sure. We've had some Phi Psi guys, like, try to break into our house before. There are, there are girls who are on there as well. But, like, nobody within our own fraternity. Like, we had, we had some sorority girls break into our house and steal food. And then, of course, like, there's, like, the thievery issue. Like, if you steal something from us and we catch you, like, you're not coming back. Because, like I said, that's a big problem. There's really just, like, a complete lack of respect for us as a fraternity. So, we, we, you know, monitor that as well. Yeah, and do you feel like there's a lot that goes into hosting? Yeah, I think so. There's obviously a lot of moving pieces. We, typically, like, like, logistically, when we are in charge of the party, right, we, you know, we have people who are in charge of getting materials. Often, you know, a lot of our parties will be themed, right, so we have to decorate the house, and that can take a couple hours before we start. Individuals within the fraternity, we, of course, once we're done setting up, you know, we will pregame. Not excessively, because we, you know, need to be in charge of running the organization, but it's also a nice way for us to unwind after a stressful day of planning everything. There, of course, is, right, we always have, like, two or three people on door monitoring who's coming in and out. On, on our dance floor, in our basement, right, we usually will have, if people even are in the basement, which usually is not very often, but we always have, like, at least a couple people stationed on the dance floor just standing there, just watching the party, making sure that nothing, you know, problematic is taking place. It's a lot of work, really, to try and, like, manage the party. There's a lot that goes into it, and being a smaller fraternity takes a lot of effort from everyone that we have, because there's about 15 brothers, right, and so, like, we really all have to be, like, all hands on deck in order to, like, make sure that things run smoothly. And are you still able to have fun at the same time? Yeah, so we definitely, we try and, you know, take turns doing certain things. I know, like, sometimes we serve, like, food at our parties. We'll have, like, chicken nuggets or, like, you know, that sort of small hors d'oeuvres, right, that, you know, we'll give out. And so, you know, someone will be in the kitchen cooking, you know, the food for, like, an hour. Somebody needs to be monitoring the oven and everything, right? But, you know, we might, like, switch out. We'll switch different roles. And then sometimes brothers are encouraged to, you know, if everything's under control, you know, can be a little more, a little bit more, like, lacking in their attention so they can also enjoy the party. But for the most part, like, we do have, like, a pretty good focus on what's going on, and that's really where the priority is. Kind of the idea of our parties is we want to have fun, but, like, really our priority for parties is A, recruitment, and B, like, having, like, promoting ourselves as a good social scene, right? We want to have sororities and sports teams interested in partying with us, right? Because we throw good parties, right? That helps our social image on campus and our interaction with other organizations as well as our reputation as individuals. And then, of course, in terms of recruitment, we want people who are not committed to organizations when they're in their freshman, sophomores, and even some upperclassmen as well. I joined as an upperclassman, right, to come to a party and say, oh, hey, this is really cool, and then want to come meet us, check out our house, say, oh, this house is really cool, oh, you guys are really cool, we're interested, and then they join, and then that's, you know, kind of how we increase our numbers is you're having a positive impact on our social scene. Yeah. Do you ever go to parties that aren't at the fraternity house? Yeah, so as a fraternity, we don't go to a lot of parties together. Sometimes, like, I'll go with some of my friends within the fraternity. Like, as an organized group, we don't all go collectively. It'll be more so, like, I have a friend who's throwing a party, and sometimes I'll go to, like, the Swim Loft. I like to swim. Swim plays good music. I like going to swim. And then, yeah, that's about it. Sometimes my friends will ask me to go out that are not related to the fraternity, and I'll go with them. But like I said, like, I don't go out that often, so it doesn't happen too much, but, like, on occasion, it will. And also, like, Impact and Sisters has parties, and I go to a lot of those as well, because that is another organization that I'm a part of that does have events. Where are those events held for Impact? Usually they're held at the Impact and Sisters house, but in the last year or two, we have limited the amount of parties that we've had there. The neighbors can be an issue. Don't buy a house next to a college. Maybe have a little flexibility on the weekends. But those parties do tend to get shut down, so we often won't throw there. We will, sometimes we do, and those parties are good, because it's a really good space, but if it's not there, usually one of the Impact brothers or one of the Impact Sisters will have, like, a loft or something that we'll go have an organized party at. And a lot of the time, it's also, like, it's not even so much of, like, a big party. Often, like, the Impact president, right, he will invite over a lot of friends, right, to his loft, right, and there might be, like, 15 or 20 of us, right, who are all, like, upperclassmen, who all just kind of hang out there, and then it's not so much of a party as it is more of, like, a get-together of people. Sometimes we'll do drinking games or, like, watch a sports game or something, and, you know, some of the guys will bring their girlfriends, but, like, not anything, like, crazy. I feel like that's probably more common than, like, actually having parties with Impact and Sisters in the lofts. Yeah, and are there any notable party experiences that you've had where you've really noticed your gender? I feel like probably, I don't know. I think one time there was an instance at a Halloween party. It was my sophomore junior year. I don't remember which one, but I know that I was trying to dance with a girl, and she was very into it with me, right, but her friends just kept pulling her away from me, right, kind of, like, almost like they owned her. It was really weird, because she kept coming back to me, and then they would yank her away, be like, no, you're not going with him, and I'm, like, really, like, that kind of made me feel uncomfortable, right? Like, I feel like people were making an assumption about me when we were having a consensual interaction at a party, and I didn't feel like that was really fair to me, and I feel like they just did that exclusively because I was a guy. Do you tend to feel safe at parties? Yeah, I'd say for the most part I feel safe at parties. I don't think anything's ever happened to me at a party where, like, I didn't have, like, an okay experience. Nothing ever made me feel like I was in danger. And since you're in two different organizations that have social events, are there any distinct differences between the two that you pick up on? Yeah, I mean, so, well, so I know, like, Impact, all of the parties are dry, right? Skulls has parties with alcohol, right, just like a lot of organizations at the school. You can register that with the school and certain guidelines that you have to follow, but, like, that definitely plays into it a lot there. That is a major distinction between the two organizations, and to be fair, I really don't notice any difference in the quality of the party. I think if someone is, like, like, at the parties, like, we give out, like, beer and, like, seltzers, right? Like, nobody's really, like, coming to a party and drinking so many beers and seltzers in an hour at one of our parties that, like, they're getting, like, wasted. If people, like, people get way too intoxicated, but, like, that happens in pre-games before they come to see us, and that is an experience that I have witnessed at lots of parties, both with Impact and Skulls and with other organizations that I've been to that have had parties with and without alcohol. I think that there's, like, a really intense pre-gaming culture at this school, and people sometimes take it really far. They don't know their limits. I know that there's a lot of peer pressure around drinking based on conversations that I've had with other people who are in other organizations or know people with other organizations. I am proud to say that as a member of Impact and Skulls, I have never once been pressured to do something I didn't want to. I'm very happy about that fact, but I do know that's not the case for a lot of organizations. I know that's the case for a lot of sports teams, both male and female, and a lot of other non-sports or sorority and non-Greek life organizations. There is a drinking habit and a lot of peer pressuring that goes on, and I think that contributes to the drinking culture and people getting too intoxicated during pre-games to come to parties. I think that's something that I've witnessed a lot. And when you've, so when you've been at pre-games for either organization, you've never felt pressured to drink if you didn't want to. Oh, definitely not. We have, both in Skulls and in Impact, we have brothers who don't consume anything, right? They just go sober everywhere. Sometimes, you know, and that is something that is true for parties, that's true for just hanging out on the weekends. Nobody cares. None of my friends could care at all if you drink or not, if you do anything or not, right? So that's not something that I've ever experienced. I mean, of course, like, you know, if everyone's drinking, right, we will, you know, if we're playing a drinking game together and everyone's consenting to it, we will encourage someone to drink, right, in a healthy way that's, you know, not in any way something that they are against doing, right? But, you know, if you're playing King's Cup, right, everyone agrees to the rules of King's Cup before you start playing, and then, oh, like, you have to chug a drink, right? Monitoring everyone's health is important, but, like, nothing that I've ever been involved in has put anyone's health at risk, right? We are very attentive to knowing when to cut someone off. That's something that a lot of my friends have been very keen on. We aggressively look out for people who have had too much to drink, and that's something that I think my friends do within the fraternity and outside of it. My experience with the people who I choose to interact with are they want to promote a healthy drinking habit, and usually people who don't do that, I'm not friends with. I don't have positive interactions with those people. I think part of it is they have a reputation on campus for those reasons, and so I choose to not associate with those people, and on occasion, I'll witness that myself, and it will not be healthy for me to be around those people. So I choose to stay away from people who have those issues. And when you talk to your friends that go to other schools, are there any major differences between the parties at FNM and their schools, if they're in fraternities or not, or in sports teams? Well, I don't have a lot of friends who I talk to that go to different colleges, mainly just because most of my friends are FNM students or are people who I knew in high school, and I don't really keep up with people I knew in high school. There's three of them that I still talk to. Of the ones that I do talk to, and then I guess I talk to my brother and sister, I don't know. My brother goes to Michigan State University, which is a massive party school, one of the biggest party schools in the country. I've been to his school a few times, I've been to the bars with him, I've been to some of the parties that they have. His friends aren't involved in massive frat life parties, so I haven't really been exposed to that too much. I don't really know. I have some friends who go to Colorado State University as well, and based on what I've experienced, what I've talked about them, they play some of the same drinking games the students at FNM play, beer pong, king cup, flip cup, that sort of thing, but nothing crazy. I think this comes back to, I don't associate myself with people who I feel are bad people and pressure others into doing things they don't want to do, and so I don't have interactions with people who do that very much. That's part of why I didn't join FYSI. I don't know them personally all that well, but I do know that they have a reputation for not being the safest place. I know I have a lot of friends who are in sororities who say they don't like going to those parties because they don't feel safe. I know they have a lot of members who have had Title IX allegations made against them over the years, and I don't mean to talk shit on FYSI, but those were things that kept me away from ever even considering joining that fraternity, and I only joined Skulls because I didn't see that behavior happening within the fraternity, within the brothers in the organization. I was in charge of recruitment last year for the fraternity, and we vetted, we had a lot of new members. We gave out 12 bids, which is a lot for us, and our vetting process for them was extensive, and if there were any blips, we looked into them intensely. We asked everyone that we knew if they knew these people, if there was a reputation around these guys. We take that so seriously, because we're not trying to let people join who will damage our reputation, and also be people who we don't want to interact with. My experience with the brothers in the fraternity is that they are people who I can trust and make good decisions, and if they don't do that, then they would be removed from that. I know that before my time in the fraternity, I think it was our sophomore year, but I didn't join until our junior year. There was a guy who was joining in the fall, and he had allegations come against him, and then immediately they removed him, they revoked his bid, because he had gotten a bid, and then after he had gotten his bid, they had heard allegations, they had heard rumors about poor behavior, and making people feel uncomfortable, and they revoked his bid immediately, and that's the sort of thing we will do. I have not really been around an environment where anyone that I'm friends with, or close with, or communicate with, are pressuring others, or feeling pressured to do things. I feel like I have done a good job of putting myself in a positive circle of people. If there is one thing you would change about the party scene here on campus, what would it be? I don't know. I feel like, I wish that organizations respected each other a little bit more. A, based on what I've heard, I have some friends who were freshmen our senior year of high school, and then took some time off because of COVID, and are seniors now with us, and they talk about how different parties were before COVID happened. All of the organizations, all of their social chairs were on a big group chat, and they all interacted with each other, and any one of them could say, hey, we want to throw this weekend, who wants to mix with us? And a bunch of people would want to participate. I feel like as a fraternity right now, I mentioned this before our interview started, I feel like nobody really respects us as an organization. I feel like as a fraternity, I know that there's this big stereotype from movies, as well as a lot of negative fraternity activities that have taken place across the country that are surrounded by hazing, peer pressuring, drinking, sexual assault, and I feel like those are things that to a lot of extent definitely don't apply to Phi Psi. I know that there are some issues with them, but I don't know the ins and outs, so I don't want to speak on that too much, but I know for our fraternity, those things don't apply to us at all, but I feel like people just assume them about us and then don't respect us because of it. Meanwhile, I witnessed actual hazing and actual drinking, peer pressuring, and a really negative drinking culture in other organizations that are not the fraternity, and then we're blamed for it as if it's a problem that we caused, and then there's a complete lack of respect, which is why I feel like people feel like they can just break into our house and steal our stuff, while if people are at our parties, they can snag something off the wall. I think that that's a big problem, and I think that other organizations need to be held accountable for peer pressuring, for negative drinking culture, for encouraging freshmen to put themselves in situations where they're not safe. I see that happening in other organizations around the school, and I think that that's just really unhealthy for the party scene in general, for the entire campus. Are there, you don't have to name specifically, but is there a genre of groups that you think should be more held accountable? I think it's a little bit here and there. I don't go to a lot of the sports parties, so a lot of what I know is things that I've been told, but I do hear a lot of stuff about a lot of the sports parties, and also a lot of in-parties within the organizations. I don't know the specifics about these organizations, but it would just be like, take for example the soccer team. They'll have a party within themselves, and then I don't know that they haze or don't haze, but they might haze their freshmen in the organization, and that's not healthy. They might encourage them to drink in a way that's not healthy. They might peer pressure them. I'm not saying that this is what soccer does. I don't know that, but that's the sort of stuff that I hear about different organizations on campus, that sometimes at mixers or sometimes within a party that is exclusive to that organization, there is a lot of peer pressuring going on. I also do think that the pre-gaming is not very healthy to a certain extent. I participate in pre-games, but I also feel like I'm aware of what my boundaries are, what I can and can't do. Definitely freshmen are not. I know I was a freshman who did not know those boundaries, and that puts people at risk a lot. But putting people at risk of getting sexually assaulted, honestly, that's a real risk of pre-gaming and not knowing your limits, but also of going even further and potentially overdosing or dying of alcohol poisoning are real risks that people have from the pre-gaming environment that exists at the school. Alright, well thank you so much for your time today. Yeah, of course. I hope I answered your questions.