Mom Interview Pt1

This is an interview between the speaker and their mother. They ask random questions to have fun and get to know each other better. The mother talks about her background, her first celebrity crush, and a strange purchase she made. They also discuss the pets the mother had as a child and the advice she received from a couple in Peru. The mother reflects on the difficulties of moving to the US as a child and the challenges of fitting in. Welcome everyone who may or may not be listening. Today, I am interviewing my mother with loads of questions that have absolutely nothing to do with each other. We're just asking questions to get some fun answers and having a good time. Whether this recording will ever see the light of day, we don't know. So we're just gonna have fun with it. And let's start off by asking my mom who she is, where'd you grow up, what makes you who you are? Can you do that in 30 seconds? 30 seconds, my word, okay. My name is Priscilla. I was born and raised in the jungles of Peru in the Amazon rainforest. And I was there until I was 17 years old, daughter of missionaries and sibling of three others. And I attended the University of Wyoming after high school. And from there, I am married into the military and have bounced all over the United States. I now have three daughters, three daughters, three children. My brother is so pretty. He could be a girl. Honestly. That's why she said that. Three children who are now grown and starting lives of their own. And now here we are. So what do you think inspired us to do this recording? Wow. Well, your love for reaching out to people and I guess our relationship, enjoying getting to know one another, enjoying being able to go deep with one another, enjoying laughing together, which I'm anticipating a little bit of. Yeah, that's good. Mom and I can talk for hours and hours. I didn't think about that. So it's natural that this recording was gonna happen eventually. So let's start off with a fun one. Who was your first celebrity crush and are you still into them? Oh my word. You have to remember that I didn't grow up with celebrities. There was always a first though. I had a first. Okay, the sister. I suppose it would have to be Tom Cruise. I know, that's a little cringy. But I mean, I saw Top Gun. That's one of the first movies I ever saw. So I mean, of course, I guess it wouldn't have had to have been him. Well, who was his counterpart again? Okay, wait, so the blonde. The blonde. Help me. I don't know, but we just went from that was your first celebrity crush to ew, how cringy. How did we get there? Oh my, I don't know. Just because now I think of Tom Cruise and I think of that movie where he purposely was really fat and just kind of, what was that movie? I don't know. Oh, they did him up really bad. And so now that's what I think of. I'm sorry, Tom Cruise. I'm sorry, Tom Cruise. I hope you never hear this. If you got to choose your name, what would it be and why? Wow. My own name. I've never thought of another name unlike you who always critiqued your name. Um, I, wow. I always liked the name Ruth and I think it's because I had an aunt named Ruth that I loved. And so it was more about her than it was about the name itself. But I wanted to name a daughter Ruth, which I know you probably wouldn't have liked and you're my first daughter, so you're probably glad that your last name used to be Rutherford because that's why I couldn't do it. Ruth Rutherford just wasn't gonna work. Yeah. So, but yeah, that might've been it just because. That makes a big deal though because there are certain names flipping the script where I maybe didn't like someone and I forever don't like their name. They might have a beautiful name, but there's no way I would name my kid that. Yeah. So that makes a lot of sense. And Rachel, my name is a great name. I don't even think I introduced myself at the beginning. My name's Rachel. I think growing up, so I can have a bit of an individualist personality. A bit. A bit. One time I was literally in a group of girls and there were five of us and eventually we all stopped and looked at each other and every last one of us was a Rachel. And I just had a picture of you while I was like, dang it, why does it have to be Rachel? It's a nice name though. Well, you know, you got your name because one of my best friends as a child was Rachel. And I also liked that. Again, not necessarily because of the name so much as the association. You've never told me about Rachel. Oh my goodness. I don't know about Rachel. Interesting. Okay, well, maybe you would remember me talking about her brother, Danny instead. Yes! Yes! Okay, so maybe Danny. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! That's funny. Okay, what is the strangest purchase you've made? Or almost made? Strangest purchase. Wow. Maybe these shouldn't have been surprise questions. Yeah, we talked about this. And mom was like, let's wing it. Let's wing it. The strangest purchase. Maybe, maybe not the strangest, but the most irresponsible would have been a puppy on the spot, not looking, being in the mall. And that's not why I was at the mall. Just, yeah, I'm right there on the spot purchased a Rottweiler. Schwartz. Schwartz is his name. Schwartzkopf. Yes. So that's, yes. Probably wasn't the best idea to do. How'd dad feel about that? Well, we were newly married, and so he was still in the... He's just a fool. You know, yes, I have to do whatever to make her happy, and so that's what happened. Lucky you. Yes, we got a dog that could bite my nose off later in life. Oh, man, another story. Okay, so let's transition into some more, so some less frivolous questions. Okay. What did you have as a child that kids today don't have? Hmm, probably I would say the different kinds of pets, so this will be more than one thing, but I had different kinds of pets that a lot of people here in the U.S. would not have. Like, I had an iguana for a while, and he used to ride around on my shoulder, and he was just a baby, and I, a lot of these pets I would let go because they would never become so tame that they couldn't make it in the wild, so I had him for a little while and then let him go. I had a sloth for a little while, and same thing, we just had him for a very short time. He came into our yard, and so we brought him inside, and it was fun for a couple of days, and then we let him go again. I had a boa, a boa constrictor, which made my mother very unhappy because she told me that he was gonna get loose in the house and I assured her that he would not. I had him in a plastic clothes hamper with the lid on it, and somehow my mother was right, and it got out, and we never did find it, so. You never found it? Nope, we never found it. It's not in me just to say she was not happy with me, and so those lists could go on and on. My sister had a monkey. I never had one of those, but she had a monkey that would ride around on her head. Wow. That's crazy. No. No. I lost my place. Okay, when you were a teenager and a more young adult, whom did you go to for advice? We had, in Peru, we had a couple that came down. She actually had grown up in Peru, and then when she came to the US, she met and married a man that was also into missions. They went back as youth leaders. I was very close to them. He, do you want their names, or are you? Whatever you want. Okay. Rich and Marsha, and he actually was one of our teachers, but they were also the youth leaders, and I spent many, many days there, sometimes late into the night with just deep talks, and yeah, to this day, I would consider them close friends. Yeah, well, I think I already know the answer to this, but looking back, was it good advice that they were giving you? I think so, yeah. I think so. He was very big into having us learn how to think well for ourselves, and this wouldn't have been a personal one-on-one thing, but he taught an apologetics and philosophy of religion class, and one of the things that he told us was, you'll never know what I believe, and he, so no matter what we said, he'd play the devil's advocate just to get us to think and to come up with what we believed ourselves. So he was really into critical thinking. Absolutely, yeah. Was it to the point where if you, could you look back and think of a resolution or an answer you'd come to, and you're like, oh, that was not a good answer, but he let you run with it anyways, or was there ever a point where he would interject? Like, I don't think he would have ever let me go down a bad path. Yeah. That way, but, you know, I can't think of something off the top of my head. I can't think of a subject off the top of my head. We'd, oh, well, one, I don't think I was on the wrong path, but I think one of the biggest ones that we came up with that we ended up as kids really going back and forth was the idea of whether or not eternal security was true, or if you could lose your salvation or not. That was one that I didn't even know that there were two sides of that coin at that point in my life. Yeah. And so that was probably one of the biggest arguments that came around because, no, discussions, discussions. Yeah, well, that sounds like a point where he actually made his dance known. No, actually, he didn't. Oh, okay. Yeah. He sounded like there was like a back and forth. Between, yes, between kids in the class. Oh. So, yeah, yeah, so some of my friends took, the opposite view from me, and we would go back and forth. But no, in fact, I think I probably know what he believes, but no, he actually never did tell us his side. So that's interesting. I'll have to go back and ask now. I think he'll tell you. I don't know. Maybe he'll tell you. Please. All right. What was the hardest thing you went through as a child, and how did you overcome it? Wow. I think moving to the U.S. Moving to the U.S. was very hard. Very different culture. Just really not knowing how to fit in. Feeling like I didn't really have anybody. Back then, we didn't have phones. You paid every time you picked up the phone, so I couldn't just keep calling my best friend or my sister or anything like that. So it was starting over again, and people would find it very interesting that I was from Peru, and they'd be very into it at first. But then, after the novelty wore off, then they didn't really care to be my friend anymore. So learning how to fit in. It got to the point where for a while I wouldn't even talk about it. I didn't want people to know where I was from. But it's hard to get around that, because that question usually comes up when you meet people. Yeah, just learning how to fit into a new culture. Did you ever theorize why people would be intrigued at first and then pull away? I think it was because, partially, because I needed to learn how to live in this culture and not continue to live in my past. But when you think about it, when you get together and talk with somebody, a lot of times you say, well, when I was in such and such a place, or when I did such and such a thing. My reality wasn't something other people could understand. So when I would say, oh yeah, well, when I did this, or when I was in the jungle, and it was just so foreign and weird that people didn't connect. I honestly am not sure how I could have changed that since that's all I knew. But I think that is why. I think it's because people couldn't understand. It's not something they had experienced. And usually you connect with people over experiences and things you understand. It's really interesting you say that there's another family member who grew up in Peru on our side as a family when they moved to the U.S., basically said the same thing that you said verbatim. Really? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so that's really, there's something there for sure. What are your favorite stories that your parents told you? My dad told a story when they first got to Peru. They went out to an Indian tribe that did not have a written language. They gave them an alphabet after having learned the language. They gave them an alphabet and devised a written language for them. And my dad was at one end of the village and there were no doctors out there, so they played doctor. And he was administering to one of the indigenous people who was sick and he needed some medication for my mom. And she was at the very other end of the village and he needed it quickly. So he got a young boy who could run fast and he wrote down on a piece of wood what he needed, sent it with this little boy down to my mom. She read the wood, gave him the medication, and the boy ran back with big eyes and told everybody that the wood had talked to my dad. And they had no concept of a written language yet, you know, and so they saw this. I thought that we were doing a spell, right? Somehow the wood told my mom to get this bottle and give it to my dad. Oh, man, I'm just thinking if we ever did, if I ever did post this for whatever reason, people are gonna need so much more of a backstory. They're like, what? This is true, that was pretty bad. Well, you said that you grew up in Peru, but it's like, it almost seems like, I should have thought about this, but I'm gonna ask you a lot of childhood questions. So we are really pulling on like the Peru, that this man just needed its own backstory, its own 30-minute explanation. This might just be for family. Did grandma ever tell you something, your mom, a story that you're really fond of hearing? Grandma didn't talk a lot. I don't remember stories so much as she took the time to listen to me. And I guess this goes back to good advice. She was more about talking with me about my relationship with God, about the proper way for a young lady to act. And, boy, stories. I really don't know. You know, I'm trying to think and I can't either. She left the stories to grandpa. She did. She did. Yeah. Yeah. Cause he had plenty of them. He had plenty of stories. A whole book worth. Yes, exactly. Right. So what is the most embarrassing thing your mom or dad ever did to you? Oh my goodness. My mom or dad. Okay, you stumped me on this one. It could be a funny, like a nickname that you just hated, you know? Or, like maybe when they were in public, they had a little tick that they did and you always noticed it. No, no ticks. I think maybe just the story. Oh, I do know. Okay. Okay. So backstory, since we just said that there needed to be some backstory. My parents, obviously you guys caught this. They worked with an indigenous tribe in Peru. So we grew up knowing this language that is nothing like Spanish at all. I know the native language in Peru is Spanish, but this is nothing related to Spanish. But when we came to the United States, we would come every four years and we would go to different churches and my dad would speak. And oftentimes he would call my sister and I up onto the stage and make us sing a song in Sharanawa language. And yes, I always wanted to crawl in a hole every time. When you were singing, were you like, no, no, you're just barely letting it out. No, we belted. I don't know. I didn't want him to make us do it twice. What are some of your best memories of holidays or family gatherings as a child? Holidays, we would, the whole mission would gather together and sing carols the night before Christmas. I loved that. We would, and then we would all go home. It's from the meeting house. We would all break up. We all had candles and you could hear people singing carols in all directions as they walked towards their homes. And then Christmas day, after our gifts and everything, we always spent the day with a group of families of the same group every year. And there's nothing real big to tell about that other than it was just a good memory, just getting together with these families, having a second round around the tree, you know, and a big meal and puzzles and games. Yeah. It sounds very quaint and community oriented. Very much so, yeah. We used to do a lot of caroling too. I guess that's not quite as popular here in the U.S. I don't think, but yeah, we would. Sometimes we would go with instruments. Sometimes we would just sing and go house to house, caroling, usually with candles. That's funny, because you were just saying how you hated singing. Well, it was a group of my friends. But in a church, you know, in your church clothes and being called up in front of the stage. Yeah, no, yeah. There's a difference. So what three adjectives do you think your mom would use to describe you? Hmm. Persistent. You what? I'm being nice. I guess I could have said stubborn. Um. Adjectives. Silly. I can still hear her going, oh, silly girls, to my sister and I. And I would hope that she would say loving. So she did teach me to be loving or, or, ah, selfless. That would be what she taught me. That would be a thing that she was. So I would hope that that would come out of her mouth. So resilient. Silly and selfless. Okay, fun, silly, and selfless. Okay, fun spin. What about your kids? What adjectives do you think we would give you? Oh my goodness. You'd probably all three say I was silly also. Yeah. You know, I don't know, but I would hope it would be the same. I hope it would be. I love the fact that I can be silly and have fun. And I would hope that you would all see me as selfless. You probably would all see me as stubborn, too. I say that I'm probably an open book, whether it be with my mother or with my children. I am who I am. Those are really true adjectives. I would really have to think, because like top three, that's a lot to summarize a person and their personality and who they are. But those are some on point, I would say, adjectives. Yeah. What is the best thing that your parents ever cooked? Okay, my dad, I don't think has cooked a thing in his life. Serious. So serious. And grandma, actually, she didn't cook a lot either. Shepherd's pie. There we go. She, I learned to cook, make shepherd's pie from grandma. That's funny because I have a core memory of you cooking us shepherd's pie a lot growing up. Yep, she did that. And this would be baking, not so much cooking, but every year at Christmas time, she made breads, a special kind of braided bread. And it was filled with all kinds of good, yummy stuff. And she would probably make at least a hundred of them. And then us kids would take them and deliver them to neighbors. Wow, how much? Yeah, we did. It was probably a full weekend worth of doing that. That's insane. We just made banana bread this morning. And I was like, this is taking a little bit of time. Yeah, yeah, well, she was amazing. She did it very quickly because, well, she did it every year. She had it down to a science. So if you could go back to one day in your childhood, which day would it be and why? Oh, wow. That is hard. One day. I don't know if that is possible. I feel like sometimes saying a top favorite like makes your brain shut off. It does. So maybe give me something from a top 10 that could be in your top 10. Well, I think anything that had to do with riding on a motorcycle with my oldest brother, that was like, that was something because we did so much of that. I would go with him into the market to get fish for the indigenous folks that would come in and stay with us from the tribes. And they would stay back and that was their main staple was fish. We did it just for fun. We did mostly, he's the one that taught me to drive. I have pictures of when I was two years old and he had me on the tank holding onto the handlebars and he would let me do the gas, even when I was two. He's 13 years old. He was 15 and had me on this. Yeah, he would take me into town as we lived our mission community was in the middle of the jungle away from everything else. And so he would take me on the dirt roads into the neighboring town for ice cream, shopping desert. So that's not an individual thing, day. That's not one day, but it's a memory that that's something that I would love to do again. So what is your favorite scent and or what scent makes you feel nostalgic? Citrus, any kind of citrus I love. Probably goes back to childhood. Again, we had many citrus trees in our yard. We had grapefruit, we had tangerine, we had lemon, we had lazy lemon, we had oranges. Yeah, we had it all. That's a good scent. I like citrus. I don't know why. Maybe you always used a lot of citrus. I did, I did. Because I don't have a reason. It just smells clean and it's yummy. I agree. The classic, if you could give your younger self some advice, what would it be? Stay away from boys. Didn't have to even think. Stay away from boys. Spend more time with girls, have fun. I mean, no, boys are fine. Just not, just keep my head on straight about boys. You know, not be so worried about having a boyfriend. Yeah, yeah. What do you think not worrying about boys would have done for your younger self? It's what it would have done for my older self. If I would have, yes. Yes. If I had been more careful with boys, what it would have done, honestly, it would have saved me heartache in college because I wouldn't have been in that mode of thinking that there always had to be a guy next to me, you know? And trying to navigate through a new culture at the same time as being worried about boys got me burned too many times because having been from a small group of missionary kids where I could, for the most part, trust people and then coming and not realizing that everybody in, I mean, I had a little pond of people that I grew up with and then coming to an ocean of people, not realizing that everybody in the ocean was trustworthy. I was used to my little pond where I could trust people and so I needed more time to get used to this culture before thinking about boys and I was trying to do both at the same time. Yeah, or just finding your pond within the ocean. Absolutely, yeah. Because I feel like even today, you are very trusting of people. I am. More than most people are. Yeah. Yeah, to an unhealthy degree, I think, probably. It has its strengths too because I feel like if you can't learn to trust people it hinders your ability to have depth in your relationship and people feel that when the opposite of trusting someone is putting up a wall. Right. And walls aren't invisible. Walls are real, you know? Yeah. So I wouldn't knock that. It certainly has its cons to where you need to be aware of them but it has its strengths too. Mm-hmm, you're right. Mm-hmm. What was the most unexpected compliment you ever received? I don't know, you know? I thought this was a random one. I was like, maybe I shouldn't ask this because, well, I'm gonna go with the first thing that popped into my head. And it's kind of funny because it's, on the one hand, it was a compliment and a slam all in one. I hate those. You probably actually already heard this story but I was living with a family and I was, actually, I was living with an older man and his wife and their kids were grown and everybody was gone from the house. It was a Saturday morning. I had just gotten out of bed, was not dressed yet and the doorbell rang. And so I ran, I grabbed my robe and I ran to the front door while putting my robe on and I got it stuck so that my arms weren't going through the holes of the robe yet into those sleeves of the robe. And I'm running down the hall with it over my head so I can't see where I'm going thinking I'm in the house alone. What I didn't realize is it was their son who, he rang the doorbell and then let himself in instead of waiting. So I get there and I ran right into him in the hallway as I'm pulling my head out of the hole, the head hole. He took one look at me and I mean, I was a mess. I'd just come from bed and he looked at me, laughing, of course, seeing my predicament and says, sometimes I think you are the most beautiful girl in the world. And then sometimes you're just downright scary. So I went to his closet and believed it, I thought the world of, to be the most scary thing. Were you wearing anything besides the robe? Did you have anything else on? Just my underwear. Oh no, did you see? I have no idea how much, so I never asked. I mean, I had the length of the hallway. So depending on when he came through the door, that would say, I don't like that. I never asked, I never will. Oh no. What is something you used to, or still, make too big a deal about? Hmm, probably my looks, I probably get too concerned about going out in public, not looking the way I want to look, you know, feeling, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, my hair, I always feel like it's too frizzy. And if I don't have my makeup on, so yeah. Looking back at pictures when you were a kid, and just free and wild and on motorcycles, your hair is frizzy, crazy, no makeup on. Do you look back at those and wish you would have cared more about? No, I think that came with coming to the US and feeling like, we weren't so conscious down in Peru of needing to look a certain way. We didn't, weren't into style so much. You know, it was more like, you brush your hair, you try to look pretty for events, you know, but it wasn't necessarily, am I in style? I don't even know what in style meant until I got to the US. And then there was so much pressure on being in style, wearing your hair just right, having your makeup on just right, having the right kind of clothes, the right kind of shoes. And you know me, I still to this day, I struggle with this. This is why I call you every time I have to go somewhere. I'm like, does my outfit match? You know, FaceTime me, that's, yeah. Is it something that you genuinely in your heart value and care about, or is it an expectation that you feel like has been put on you and you're trying to meet that expectation? I think a little bit of both. It probably started out more as an expectation, but as I've gotten older, in fact, just in the last couple months, you know, having been more with your Aunt Becky more and she always seems to look nice. You know, she's always got a dress on and I've enjoyed being around her. I've bought a couple of dresses, you know, with her. And yeah, so I think there is part of it. I'd like to be more conscious of it. But I also, that's one side of the coin. The other side of the coin is I want to be able to walk out the door without makeup on if I need to, without feeling like, oh my word, I hope I don't run into somebody I know. You know, to be happy in the skin I'm in and at the same time, enjoy dressing up if I want to. I like that a lot, because I think trying to look nice is something that a lot of women desire and then maybe can succumb to feeling guilty over. And it's so easy to just jump to the other side of the coin until I'm just like, oh, well, like, I shouldn't care about that. But it's okay to care, to enjoy it. That, it's okay to enjoy it, and I like that. If you could change one thing about the way that you were raised, what would it be? I think being more prepared for coming to the U.S. You know, we were just talking earlier today about needing to understand how to be an adult in the world. You know, what kinds of things are you going to face? You know, like, monetarily, you know, paying taxes. The fact that there's going to be a tax on your car. The fact that there's going to be, how to do your bank account, you know. Just being an adult in this society, I was not prepared for that at all, coming to the U.S. So I think if they had taken some time, maybe had a class in school, I don't know if that would have done it, or, yeah, probably that's the place that would have been best, if they would have had a class that prepared us for life here in the U.S. Yeah, I feel like you experience an extreme version of not being prepared for adult life, because even, at least I can speak for kids here in the U.S., a lot of kids grow up through, you know, the same culture, public system, and then growing up and being in the same culture as an adult, and not feeling prepared. You know, taking classes like trigonometry, or maybe they took drafting, but they never figured out how to do their taxes. They never learned about investing. They never learned about retirement. It's an insane area that we have failed as a society, which is transitioning from kid to adult. Right, yeah. And I think the fact that I knew zero about that kind of stuff made it so that I didn't do a good job of preparing you kids for it either, because I still depend too much on your dad for that, instead of knowing it myself. Well, we turned out fine. We figured it out. A couple scary notices in the mail, we figured it out. What's always been something that is hard for you to say no to? My kids. Yeah. I don't like to say no. If I could give you the world, I would, you know, and that's, yeah. We know that. Tell me about an event in your life that changed you, that you were never the same after. Well, that's right now. Losing my mom almost four years ago, and now two weeks ago losing my brother. I don't know how yet that one's going to change me, but losing my mom was definitely something that pushed me closer to God. It could have done one or the other, and it pushed me towards him. Losing my brother, ironically, has not pushed me away from him, but definitely I've done more questioning God than I did with losing my mom. So I think in the long run, both will have done something to grow me spiritually. I don't know yet what to expect from this one. It's still too fresh. Too fresh. Yeah. Do you know in what way, at least with Grandma, that it drew you closer to God? I believe that she can see me. I know that's something that not everybody believes, but I do believe it. I don't know how much time is spent watching. I don't know how that works in heaven, but I do believe she can see me, and so I suddenly was much more aware of what I am doing. Is what I'm doing something that would please her, and is she happy with me? Is she disappointed in me and the things I'm doing? And I took that and went, you know, for as much as I want her to be happy with me, and it makes me think before I act, think before I do the things I do. Are they right? I don't want her to be disappointed, but that has translated over to, wow, if that's the way I feel about Grandma watching me, that's how I should always have been already feeling about Jesus watching me, and I didn't... I mean, yeah, I always wanted him to be happy, but it wasn't a constant in my mind, like it was with Grandma, and I realized that I transferred from her to him. I've learned now to think more about, is Jesus happy with me? Am I pleasing him in the things that I do and the attitudes that I have? So, yeah. I think that's like a testament to Grandma because, you know, we're told to be more like Jesus, you know? Yeah. And, you know, I don't know if this is a stretch, but it makes me think of how the disciples had Jesus with them, and then he went to heaven, but they knew that he was still there watching them, and because he walked the earth with them, they knew how real he was, and it's like Grandma was Jesus to you. You know, I don't mean it in a sacrilegious way, I mean that in like a very complimentary, her character was unmatched, you know, just so Jesus-like, and because she was Jesus to you when she went up to heaven, it just made you realize how real Jesus is when he's in heaven or being a person walking on earth. Right. Yeah. I don't know if that makes sense. It does. It makes complete sense to me. Yeah. So, what's a secret that you always kept from your mom? Oh, no! I just told you, she can hear me now, and she cannot know. What is a secret that I always kept from Grandma? Let's see. Oh, Mom. I'd like to say I didn't ever keep secrets from you. Okay, so this is a secret that I kept that I don't think I really kept. I think she knew because she was wise. She was honest. But when I went to high school, I was supposed to have been going out on a date with somebody, and our mission had a wall or a fence around it with a gate, and there were guards at the gate. And let me preface that by saying it was the Peruvians themselves that said, you guys really need to do this because we lived there for a while without one, and they said, you're foolish. You need to put up a fence and a gate because there are people who will come in and steal from you, and then it's going to be a problem with officials. So I just wanted to say that so we didn't sound snooty, having, you know, living inside. It was, we were told that we needed to do that. So anyway, and the gate locked at midnight, and so I, the guy came and picked me up on a motorcycle. That was our mode of transportation down there, and my parents told me I had to have a helmet on. Well, helmets were not cool, and so we got to the gate guard and dropped the helmets off at the gate and went on to the restaurant that was in the neighboring town. And when we went to come home, his motorcycle broke down, and we were double dating, so there was another couple on another motorcycle. And so by the time, let's see, after we went out to eat, well, and then we went to this bar, which, of course, down there, there wasn't age limits, so there wasn't an issue getting into, and I wasn't, well, I had a sip, but I wasn't drinking and smoking and drunk or anything like that. The guys, that was a different story. So anyway, so I came out. I reek of smoke and alcohol, though, and we went to get on the motorcycle, and it didn't start. So the other couple drove their motorcycle, and I hung on. I'm sitting on the back of him, and I'm holding hands with the girl that's on the back of the other motorcycle, and they dragged us that way. Yeah, for quite a ways, they dragged us that way, and then by the time we finally got back to the mission, it was after midnight, and the gate was closed. Yeah, closed and locked. So I had to climb up and over the gate to get in. Couldn't get the motorcycles in. And, of course, the helmet is locked inside. Oh, my word. But it was a Friday night, and there was a big party going on for all the high schoolers. It was an all-nighter inside one of the buildings there that had a TV. We didn't have TVs, but there was one TV that could be signed out and watch movies. So they were watching movies all night. So I didn't go home. I went straight to there, but I got right outside the building, and my mom showed up. And I didn't say a word about the fact, and she didn't say a word about the fact that I didn't have my helmet on, and she just looked at me. I don't know what she was doing there. After midnight, all I know is I walk up, and there she is, and all she said to me was, I'm just making sure you're here and safe. But I reeked. I mean, I reeked. There's no way that she did that. I mean, she never said a word to me. But the look on her face, I'm quite certain. I mean, she obviously didn't have the details, but she knew. She just knew. But I never told her what happened that night. So that was bringing it full circle. Stay away from boys. Stay away from boys. Yes! That was my mom! Those darn boys. Those darn boys. I'll tell you what. Sorry, Mom. What activity makes you feel the most at peace or the most free? Wow. I love music. I love to play my piano. That probably is actually more a thing of the past, so that's what I did when I was younger growing up. I would either do that or just go for a long motorcycle ride. Today, I still love playing the piano, but I don't do it often. You know, my dogs. I have, yeah. I enjoy getting out in the backyard and just playing with the dogs or going for a walk. And I love it when my kids come home now that you're adults. I'd take that over anything, just being with you guys. Yeah, having the family together. Having the family together, yeah. Tell me about a challenge you've overcome. Wow. I think, well, I think just needing to be accepted is something. I don't feel like I need that like I used to. I'm not saying, to say that I've overcome it may be too strong of a word, but I'm overcoming and I'm on the other side of it, let's just say that. If I'm not accepted by somebody, it might still make me sad, but I don't have that desperate need to be accepted. What do you think helped you with that? That sounds real cliche, but seriously, my walk with God. You know, learning that my identity is in him and not in what other people think of me. And like I said, I haven't arrived, but yeah, the more I grasp onto that, the better I am at not feeling the need to be accepted necessarily. What's a rule that you secretly love to break? A rule, but like whose rule? Social rule, your own rule, like a house rule we used to have growing up that you would break it. I don't know, like putting alcohol in your ice cream. I was just going to say, I'm sorry that you said that because I actually went to having a glass of wine. That's why I said whose rule because I grew up in a very conservative home where alcohol was a big no-no, and I just really enjoy a good glass of wine, red wine, with any kind of pasta meal. A good pasta meal deserves a glass of red wine to go with it. How did you get away with that? I don't remember anything that looked like wine. I remember I was catching you with the— Oh, well, I thought you meant now, breaking the rule. I definitely would do that in front of you. Oh, yes, well, when it comes to alcohol, you just said it. When you guys were little, I used to put Kahlua in my ice cream, and so I broke the rules there. Well, you know it's funky. You know what's funny is I don't remember us having a no-alcohol rule. It was kind of like unspoken. It was. We had just never—as kids, we had never seen it in the house, so I think it was assumed. Yeah. So how it—anyway, so that's a tangent, but how is you drinking a glass of red wine today breaking the rule? Is that a rule for you? It's not a rule for me. It was a rule. That's why I said whose rule. Whose rule? It would be Grandpa's rule. Grandpa's rule would be like so many of Grandpa's rules, and we'd like to break if we're going to go there. So you're talking about a rule that exists right now. No, that's a great rule. Yeah, it could have been any rule. I just wanted to know one. Yeah, that's it. That's it. If you want a rule for right now, I guess it's speeding. I speed. Wow. I have a tendency to go a little fast. I have a lead foot. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying to tone it down. What a rebel. What a rebel I am. Let me tell you what. I can't think of anything juicy for you. I'm sorry. What is something your friends know about you that I don't? Wow. I don't know. I've been pretty open with you. That is true. I don't know why. I just thought I would try to get more juicy on you. Did I tell you? Yeah, I told you that we used to go skinny dipping, right? Yeah, skinny dipping. We used to do that in the lake. Let's see. What don't you know? I don't think there's much that you don't know. Much left uncovered. I don't think so. It's okay. I like that. How do you deal when you're angry at God? Now, that was a question that I read. I don't like the way they worded it. That sounded funny. How do you deal with being angry at God? That is a very real question for me right now. I don't know. Right now it's just been a lot of tears. Yeah. Can you pull back to a different situation where you were mad? A different situation other than losing Uncle Dave. You know, I have not. I know this sounds crazy, but I have not spent a lot of time being angry at God in my life. I've definitely never been so angry that I questioned his existence or anything like that. I guess I would go back to, I think if there was ever another time, even losing Grandma, I was not angry at him. She was older. It was merciful that she went. She was out of her suffering. And I knew where she was, where she is. I think the other thing would be being in such a difficult marriage and feeling like I got myself there because I didn't have enough guidance. I didn't have people around me. And I didn't feel like I left God out of figuring out whether or not to get married. And so that would probably be the other biggest thing that has caused me to ever be angry at him, is going through times of going, why? You know, you could have stopped me. You could have done something to slam that door hard in my face. And again, I guess I would just, it comes in tears. Tears is what, you know, I don't think I'm not one of these angry type people that lashes out in anger. You know, that's not who I am. I think anger usually demonstrates itself in me through hurt. You know, anger becomes hurt more than it really is anger. Well, that makes sense because anger is a surface emotion. Like, anger is not something where you're just angry to be angry. It's a byproduct of something else. Right. So it's actually really good that you quickly come to the deeper reasoning because a lot of people get stuck at anger and it's never the root issue. Yeah. So when you say you just cry over it, do you feel like the resolution is just never losing hope and trusting God and letting time heal or move you past it? Yeah. I think learning to look at what can I take from it that will make me a stronger person instead of just staying stuck in the hurt. That doesn't mean that there's never hurt, but don't be stuck in the hurt. Do you know what I mean? I mean, you can hurt without being stuck in it. Yeah. And, of course, that's a bit of a roller coaster too. Sometimes the hurt is worse and I'm not doing as well with learning from it. And other times, even though the hurt is there, I'm able to focus better. And, yeah, how can I be stronger? What can I do to help somebody else in my situation, in a situation like mine? I mean, how can it push me towards God instead of allowing myself to, back to what you said, be angry at Him? Ultimately, that was my decision ultimately. Now, right now, the hurt of losing your uncle, that I'm still dealing with. But, again, trying to look at God, trying to, even though I don't understand why, trying to just focus on Him and the fact that He is good, even when I don't understand. So what keeps you focused on Jesus? Right now? Maybe give me the most consistent thing in your life. What's consistently kept you focused on Jesus? Just feeling lost without Him, I think. The more I spend time with Him, the more I spend time in worship, the more I spend time in quietness with Him, learning to be still before Him and in His Word. The more I do that, the more I want to. The more I spend time with Him, it's like a best friend. Somebody who is truly a best friend, the more you're with them, the more you appreciate them, and the more you want to, hey, let's do this again, you know? It's the same thing for me. So time, the time with Him, quality time. I feel like we need to do another one of these. And I feel like we just did a broad topic of so many things. I feel like next time we need to be specific. And we need to do, I feel like we did a lot of this with upbringing. So maybe you can just do one where there's just upbringing questions, questions about Jesus. But let's ask a couple more funnies, some funny questions, and then we'll be done. Okay, all right. And think about how we'll do this different next time. Okay. Out of all the TV shows you've watched, what is one that you would love to be a part of, like if it really truly was its own world? And what is the one that you would least want to be a part of? Oh, my goodness. Why do you do this to me? I hardly watch TV. Okay. Well, it should be easy. You should have just a few of the next ones. Okay. Smallville. That's one that we used to watch together as kids. Do you want to be in Smallville? No, I absolutely don't want to be in Smallville. Can you imagine how absolutely terrifying that would be to all these crazy things that came out of the kryptonite that came? Yeah. I'd rather be in Smallville than I would Lost. Oh, my goodness. Yes. Remember that? Yes. Terrible ending. Okay. And I forgot about watching that one. Yeah. Yeah. I thought you were going to say you wanted to be in Smallville because you wanted to be with Tom Welling. Oh, my gosh. I'm trying to get away from the boys. Oh, that's why. Terrible. Terrible things. Okay. So no Smallville. No Lost. Have you seen any where you're like, oh, what a dream? I want to be there? Should we just go back to Little House on the Prairie where everything comes back to happily ever after? Honestly, I kind of thought that that works because it sounds like it relates to your childhood, I feel like. Yes, it totally does. It really does. I didn't know if that was going to click or not, but I feel like there's a lot of relation there. Yep. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. 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