WHAT YOU NEED...

The host of the podcast discusses the phrase "what you need to do" and how it can be irritating and unsolicited. He reflects on times when he has given advice and realizes that sometimes all someone needs is for someone to listen. He encourages listeners to ask themselves what they need and suggests seeking guidance if necessary. The host concludes by expressing his desire to help others through his podcast. Welcome to another episode of Open-Minded, and I'm your host, Papa Silk. Hope you're having a good morning, good afternoon, and a good evening. What is the worst thing that you can hear from somebody that just irks you, that sets you off, that puts you into a bad mood, that pretty much pisses you off? That could be any number of things. The way somebody looks at you, the way that somebody talks to you, the way that somebody responds to something that you say. There's so many things that can trigger, keyword trigger, an attitude within yourself, but the thing that we commonly hear is, what you need to do. This is what you need to do. Girl, if it was me, this is what I would do. Man, it couldn't be me. This is what I would do. Let me tell you. This is what you need to do, and that's what we're going to talk about, is that particular phrase right there, what you need, what you need. When you're looking in the mirror, and you're looking at yourself in life, you ask yourself, what you need. Honestly for me, I didn't really know how I wanted to come at this particular podcast. I didn't know how I wanted to get my thoughts or my feelings or any expressions that I had, because yes, I'm in an agitated mood this evening, and not because of anything that anybody has said or done, it's just thinking about this particular episode agitates me. You hear that phrase, what you need to do. That is probably one of the phrases that in just a general conversation that you're having with somebody that you're close to, that you love or that you're friends with, and we are very quick, people are very quick to give unsolicited advice and unsolicited thought or opinion, and unsolicited reaction, so to speak, because we feel, or somebody feels, they've been ordained knower of all things, and how somebody should handle a certain situation, how they should respond, or how they should think, how they should feel, and they tell you what you need to do is, and I can say with an honest spirit that I am probably one of those people that has done that on numerous occasions, telling somebody what they need to do. Really, what you need to do is, and reflecting on my life and my past, I can think of many of times I've told somebody what they need to do, so what I've learned in all this is what I, myself, probably still need to do is just listen, close mouths, don't get popped. You can ask my belated mother and grandmother on that one. You can't get in trouble, you can't get popped if you don't say something out of step, but that's old school talk, and I am somewhat old school, but be that it may, what I need to do, what Papa Silva needs to do, is just listen, and it's so hard to just listen, and not be quick to have a response or reaction, or, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, this is what, this is, ooh, ooh, no, no, shut up, stop talking, let me tell you what you need to do. You and I both know that happens quite often. It probably happened about an hour ago, 30 minutes ago, earlier this afternoon, earlier this morning, earlier this evening. The rest is sure it's probably going to happen 10 minutes from now, an hour from now, a day from now, a week from now, a month from now, and when you trail back to listening and thinking about this, this particular podcast, you'll be like, you know what, that's what he said. The first words coming out of my mouth is, what you need to do. Man, it irks me just to even think about the many times I've given advice and told people what they need to do, but what I also learned is being able to listen, truly understand and comprehend what that person is going through. Because if you truly look at it, you can tell yourself what you need to do when you look at a mirror, or when you reflect on yourself, what you need to do is just, shh, be quiet. Because a lot of times what you need to do is nothing at all. And I don't know if this is making any sense. I don't know if there's any clarity to this topic. I'm going to break it down for you. I told myself when I started this podcast, I am not going to be one of those persons or one of those people that tells people what they need to do and how they need to react and what they need to do in certain situations and how to think and what to think and what to say. I'm here simply just to give examples of what's happening in my life, give examples of what's happening in other people's lives, experiences, and talk on that and just have an open mind to the reality of what it is. In one of my recent episodes, I talked about perception. And people are so in tune to perception rather than the truth. It's more important to them what they're perceiving as opposed to what the truth is. The truth is, and when you tell somebody what they need to do, what you need to do, you're not focused in on their reality, their perception, their happenings. We're focused on redirecting, directing them, telling somebody what they need to do, how to get over a relationship, how to get over a loss, how to get over having a bad attitude, getting over whatever it is going on in that person's moment. We are so quick to say what you need to do. Well, we're going to take a few steps back. You feel me? We're going to take a few steps back. Because when you get that urge, and that inkling, that desire to say what you need to do, just stop. Just stop. Because honestly, for me, what I need to do is not concern myself with trying to redirect somebody. It's not, I shouldn't have the biggest concern in trying to change somebody's current situation. What you need is, I'm going to tell myself, what you need to do is just stop. Stop talking. Drop whatever you got going on, and just listen. Stop talking. Drop whatever you got going on, and just listen. Because sometimes that's all that person needs, somebody just to listen. And as I said earlier before, and I got off track with it is, when I started this podcast, it wasn't going to be about telling people what they need to do. I'm going to work to have people just to have an open mind. Hence, the title of the podcast is Open-Minded, and giving you something just to think about. Just a little something to think about. And as I sit here and I think about all the times that people have talked to me, and I've listened to conversations, and the very first thing that you want to do is to tell somebody what they need to do. But let's focus on within ourselves, and let's focus on the first three words of that statement, is what you need. What is it within yourself that you need? What do you need? What do you need? That's a question all in itself. It's not what you need to do. Let's try to backtrack a little bit, take a couple of words off of that statement, and say, and ask yourself, what you need. It's an incomplete sentence, an incomplete thought. The proper way to ask the question is, what do you need? But we'll simplify. What you need, question mark. Or like I like to say, what you need, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. What do you need? Do you need somebody just to listen to what you have going on? Do you want somebody's honest opinion? Do you want feedback? Do you want somebody else's perspective? Sometimes what you need is just somebody to listen, and me, myself, I'm that guy. It'll be nice to find somebody that you can talk to, that'll just listen. Sometimes that's all you need is just to let the, as they say, water gates flow. A dam of tears, just to let it flow, and all your emotions and everything. Because that's probably what you need. And the only person that knows what you need is you. I was having a conversation with somebody earlier today, and and a lot of what was being said is, what you need to do, what you need to do, this is what so-and-so needs to do. And I'm not going to lie, I got irritated. I'm not going to lie at all, because it makes me reflect on myself, when I've been that person that tells somebody what they need to do. And then they come back and say, well, I need to work on this, this is what I need to do. And of course, your first initial reaction to that is going to be, oh yeah, you need to focus on yourself before you try to come sweeping around my front door. But is that the positive? Is that the negative? Oh yeah, you need to focus on yourself before you try to come sweeping around my front door. But is that the positive attitude that you want to display? Is that the positive reaction that you want to give out? The aura? The heartbeat of yourself? Is that what you want to portray? Something to think about on that. And I hope that with this podcast and with any other podcast that you're getting what you need, whatever that may be. And then something to think about is you can ask yourself, nobody else, what you need. What you need is what you need now. What you need tomorrow. What you need an hour from now. But just simply just take a moment within yourself, with yourself, by yourself, and figure out what you need. If you're not afraid to look at yourself in the mirror, in a bathroom or a stand-up mirror, or just a handheld mirror, ask yourself what you need. Because a lot of times that's where it's going to start. It's the person that you're looking at. And then when you get to that point, you figure out what you need. And if you're not able to figure out what you need, and if you need some assistance, you need some guidance, nothing wrong with dropping to your knees and praying, seeking and asking for some guidance, some deliverance, some peace. And then you can turn to your brother, to your sister, to help you find what you need. Again, that's just something to think about. I'm not going to talk you off tonight. I appreciate you chiming in any time that you chime in, listening, indulging, helping me, helping you, helping somebody. Because the way I feel about this, anything that I can do under the sun, if this podcast helps just one, then I consider it a job well done. What you need. This is Papa Silk, and this has been Open-Minded. Peace, love, and hair grease. And I'm out.