YOUR RELATIONSHIP MESS

Pamela Denise discusses the importance of self-love and staying in healthy relationships. She mentions going live on Instagram and upcoming episodes on Hollywood rumors. Pamela recommends Jada Pinkett Smith's book and emphasizes the need to understand mental health issues. She also addresses the criticism surrounding Jada's personal life and urges people to let others speak their truth. Hey y'all it's your girl Pamela Denise and welcome to another episode. I am your host of black women's butts and our relationships with black men. How y'all doing out there? I love to hear from y'all. Y'all know how I do. Welcome back. Welcome back. How's everybody? I hope y'all good. I hope y'all good. I hope y'all good. I hope y'all good. I can't wait. We're going to go live. We're going to give you guys two weeks notice. We're going to go live on Instagram. So you won't have any excuse why you didn't come, why you didn't show up, but hey, we're going to have the rumor meal. I just can't wait. We got so much stuff coming. Give us some time, just a few conflicts of scheduling. However, I am your girl, Pamela Denise, and I just love y'all, but we're back and we are going to talk about today, a friend of mine posed a question. I really wanted to wait till Friday for food for thought Friday, but we'll, we'll talk about it a little bit today and then we'll touch base, touch back on it on Friday. I don't want to bore you guys anyways. I could never be boring, but we want to talk about, is it, is it easier in my opinion? I think it is easier to, um, to stay in your relationship. That is a mess, especially when it's, um, it's longevity. You don't know what you're, you're getting yourself into for the next person. Um, but for me, for me, it's hard to stay in something that's a mess. I'm sorry. I just can't do it. That's some bullshit. I can't do it. I can't stay in a relationship that is just a mess primarily because I operate in self-love. I think I talked about it previously. So you guys who missed it, go back and review some of those shows, baby, giving you guys some knowledge and some love. You got to love yourself. You got to love yourself first. My brother, my sister, um, but one of my friends was telling me the other day, you got to live life. You got to live life. And that means your mental health. That means your peace. If you're in a relationship where you're calling it or you're saying, they're not supporting me. This is some bullshit. This is, you got a problem because you got to figure out if you're going to be able to tolerate that. Um, and that was the question. Is it, is it best to just stay in something because there's so much other things that are out here, you know, that it could be worse. That's the scary part. It could be worse. But when you operate in self-love, you're only going to want to be around people that love you and operate the way you treat yourself. We talked about this already. So I just wanted to touch bases just because it's a friend of mine and I think they are mad. Cool. I think they're mad. Cool. Um, we all got goals. We all got things we got to do. And if we didn't do it a long time ago, we're trying to do it now. You need all the support you need, baby. You need support coming from this end, that end, and you need the love. Okay? You don't need nobody tearing you down, bringing you down. Trust me. You don't need that. Um, so yeah, it's just operate, operate, you start doing yourself an operation, put yourself in an operation, operating room and just start self-loving on yourself. And um, like I said, that's, I want to touch bases on that. I did talk about it before, but it's, like I said, it's a mad cool friend of mine. So, um, this episode is a special for them. Um, we're going to have coming up the rumor meal, I'm talking about, um, some of the Hollywood hot topics, honey. Well, some of the Hollywood hot stuff, y'all know what I'm saying? On the rumor meal, um, and I hope, huh, we just going to be talking about rumors. I don't, I don't care. I don't care. I don't, I don't think I heard the rumor meal before I heard it somewhere, but we, we got some rumors. We just going to say this, say that, whatever is allegedly y'all know how it works. It's coming up. It's coming up. You'll hear it from me. You'll hear it from co-hosts. That'll be popping in. We're going to be talking about a little bit gossip, so it's going to be getting a little steamy. So you might have to, I know it's about to get cold. It was cold today. It was about to get cold. So you might just have to take off, you know, take off your jacket and just, uh, cause it's going to get hot. Um, but yeah, I love you guys. I love talking to you guys. Um, I think you guys are just amazing. We're going to have it where you guys are able to call in, leave a voice message. Um, we're going to be going on, um, where you can go back and look at the videos on a YouTube. Videos are coming. I promise you they're coming slowly, but surely we're just, we're just working on all the kinks. But I do, um, want to touch back on, um, just put yourself in an operation, operation, love yourself. I just love that. I just love it because that way you won't allow anybody to mistreat you when you're doing, um, operation self love, but, oh, I want to touch base. So we didn't get to talk about, um, Jada's book worthy. I gave the book two thumbs up. She was authentic. Um, she, she brought some realness. A lot of y'all can't tell your truth. A lot of y'all. Okay. Well, it's nobody's business. Your truth. But when you can start speaking your truth, you can start healing. You can start healing a lot faster than a person that cannot speak their truth. I give Jada that book two thumbs up. Um, and you know what? I'm not going to get, I'm not going to get too deep with it because honestly, I don't know the real deal with her and Will's relationship. You know, now it's some other things that came out this week, um, about Will, allegedly. Um, I'm going to, I'll come back. I'll talk about that, um, next Tuesday. Um, okay. So everybody not doing the right thing, everybody not doing what's right. Um, so yeah, it's, it's a lot of talk, but I'm talking about the book. The book was good. Um, she, she touched on a lot, you know, get the book. Hell, if you don't want to read the book, get the audio. Um, listen to it. I think it's, I think it's, um, it's healing for her. It don't matter about all this other stuff, um, that y'all are saying, she, she's telling her truth and who, who I loved or, you know, yeah, it's my business, but I, I feel like I want to speak my truth. Um, and if it's healing for me, then hell that's what I'm going to do. So, um, I, like I said, I give the book, um, a good rating, um, worthy by Jada Pickett Smith. Um, the sister, you know, mental health y'all is for real is for real stop, stop sugarcoating it and stop acting like when people do certain things that it's just, it's just a human being that's doing it. It's sometimes it's mental health in the way. Hello. Hello. The reason why people are doing certain things or saying certain things is because they're dealing with mental health. Come on. They got some things that they're dealing with and stop acting like some of y'all acting like y'all too, too good. You know what I'm trying to say to, to good choose what, you know what I'm trying to say that are just too good. I'm going to have to edit that. Um, cause you y'all, I was getting kind of into it, but stop, stop acting like y'all are too good, you know, um, and someone's mental health, that is the number one reason and the cause of some of their actions. So, okay, that person needs to get some help. Okay. But who's casting a stone? Okay. That person may need to get some help. Jesus get, give it a break. And the way, um, you know, everybody said, Oh, she needs to, she's tearing them down. She turned down. Okay. So we don't, we don't really know the stuff that I just saw this week. I'm like, honey, it's some, it's some reasons why some things get done by the, how the way they get done. Because we really don't know the real deal of what's going on behind closed doors, baby. Just say that we don't really know what be going on behind closed doors. And we are going to be talking about some rumors, allegedly some things we're going to have a little, you know, cause everybody, everybody's talking about what, why are we going, why are we not going to talk about it? We don't touch bases on it too, but I mean, our show is, you know, we are, we are on here talking about relationships, black women's butts and images and relationships are black men. That is our, that is our main goal. So why, why are we going to miss some juicy, juicy tea? Why are we going to miss that? We, we're going to get, get into some of that too. I mean, especially it has to do with relationships. And so I wanted to make sure that I touched on how I felt about Jada's book, y'all, y'all, we don't really know. So stop, stop. And I hate it. I hate it because, um, people be trying to stop people from speaking their truth. You know, um, I was listening to, um, to Stephen A. Smith. He, he was real, it was real, he was real serious about that thing. Um, have you been married or you been divorced? Have you been through that? Okay. Everybody has a story. Let people tell their story. And if they choose to tell it in the public, they choose to tell it in private. It's what the hell they want to do. Now, like I said, the news that I saw this week, um, allegedly about Will, honey, honey, okay. Um, so, so stop acting like we too good. Um, some people be healing, some people be in their healing moment where they are, hell, they write a book. Hell, they talk about what they want to talk about. And yes, she did talk about, she talked about, uh, Tupac. Yeah, she talked about him, but she also told the truth in her book. Um, you know, it was her truth. Hell, I don't know if it's a lie, it's her truth. So I just didn't get caught up with all the people can't, people can't speak what they want to speak. Um, people can't say what they want to say. Speak your truth. You've been, if you've been, especially you've been with somebody so many amount of years, nobody has the right to tell you, talk for you to talk about your story. You talk about your story to whoever the hell you want to talk about it to. And that's keeping it 100. Um, the main thing is, is that we as people, not just African Americans, we need to heal. And that is going to have to be any means necessary, whatever you have to do to heal. Um, some people are still dealing with the damages effect of their relationships. Oh, this person shouldn't be. No. Okay. No. Mind your business. Mind your business. I'm going to say, you know, to each his own. I love the book. Don't know much about, you know, what the relationship, because I can't speak. It's hard for me to speak on somebody else's relationship when we don't really know the actual truth. All I know is, is some tea that's coming out that I saw this week, which it's always been said, but I just kind of like flip past it, you know, you know, that's, that's a married man, you know, but allegedly, uh, things ain't all perfect, honey. Things ain't all perfect. So y'all the ones is, you know, like I said, write a book. If you're trying to heal so you can speak your truth and nobody can tell you how to speak your truth. You speak it how you want to speak about it. And the fact that, um, she has, uh, she has older kids. Um, I mean, it is what it is. They're older, you know, um, people got to live their lives and live in your life. It's part of your history, your truth, whatever the case may be. And it's not like you have, you know, in her, in her case, she don't have younger kids. She has kids that are intelligent enough to understand when a person goes through something in life. It's, it's a, they, they're healing, whatever the case may be. They've healed their happy space that her kids are old enough. They're adults. Now they're, they're old enough to understand and know, you know, people can say that they're old enough to understand. And no, like these are her truths, you know, um, and it is what it is. And like I said, we didn't know during the, um, during the night of the, uh, Chris Rock slap that they were, they were separated. They've been separated for seven years. We, I never knew that, but you know, we're not in Hollywood. We don't know everything. A lot of people probably knew that are in, in their circles. Hell, but people, oh, she can't talk about, she could talk about whatever the hell she want to talk about. That's my take on it. Uh, the book worthy, check it out. I thought it was great. I thought, um, not only a lesson for me, speak your mind. Don't let people try to silence you. It's a part of healing. It's a part of being the best you can be in life in your, your life that you have remaining on this earth. Hell, maybe nobody wants to hear your truth. So what if you, as long as you speak it, you, you get it out. You know who you are as a person. It's your story. Do whatever we do. You don't know how I do. Do whatever the hell you want to do. Live your life. Don't let people, your mental health, your peace. Make that the top of your priority. Put yourself in an operation. Operation self-love, love yourself. So everybody else around you will understand your boundaries. You only, you only looking for everybody that's around you for that same treatment on how you treat yourself. It's so important. So Tuesday and Friday, Food for Thought Friday, we're going to touch back on just staying in the bullshit. The damages that it can do. It can do damages. You can be damaging yourself, further damaging yourself. And the longer, we all know, the longer we stay in it, the harder it is to get out of. And the more mental damage you are doing to yourself. So if you know that you are damaging yourself mentally because of a relationship, is it really worth that? That will be Food for Thought Friday. How much damage are you willing to put up with? How much? Are you, you're trying to wait for, most people, oh, it'll get better. We just talk it through. We just talk it through. Like what, what do you, what is your plan? You got to have, you got to have a better plan than that. We're going, we're going to work things out. We're going to work things out. I hear that a lot. But how do you work it out? It's easy to say we're going to work it out. But do you put your plan into action? To working out the, I'm not going to say, if you're saying it's the bullshit, then you're to that point to where, huh, it's up there. It's up there. But is it something that is small to where you maybe be able to just tweak, tweak something. And it's like, and you're back smooth sailing for the next five or six, 10 years, a long term or however, because honey, I, I'm just saying, I'm just saying. We, we all have a goal, a goal in mind. And that's to love the person that we love and be with the person that we want to be with. We all have a goal in mind, you know, long term. And then it's beautiful when you see, y'all know it's true. It's beautiful when you can see couples that, oh, we've been together 50 years. And they'll tell you it hasn't always been easy. But what is, what can you tolerate and what can you put up with? What's the worst of the worst? I'm going to put my mental health first. I'm going to put my peace first. I'm going to self love. And then you, you gotta have, you're going to have that, that operation, that operation around you. All right, y'all. So, I just love talking to y'all. I am your girl, Pamela Denise. And I'm glad you were able to join another podcast, Black Women's Butts and Our Relationships with Black Men. You can talk about whoever. You can love whoever you want to love, baby. But let's talk about it. I love y'all. And remember, we're going to have, or you're going to be able to go on, we're going to be going live on Instagram. You're going to be able to call in to give your comments. And you're going to also be able to send emails as well. That is coming up. I hope y'all can hear me. I hope I don't sound like muffle. Let me know. Let me know. Because we're doing some editing on the sound check as well. We're just trying to work on a lot, girl. We're trying to work on a lot of stuff, y'all. Girl, guy, y'all know I love y'all who are listening. I just want to do what we do. Keep it 100. We don't want to get too, too messy on the show. But honey, I want to get messy. Bye, y'all. I love y'all. Y'all girl, Pamela Denise. Until next time, Food for Thought Fridays, Tuesdays. We'll call them Terrific Tuesday. I just love y'all. Thank y'all for listening. Good night. And I know some of y'all going, because tonight is Halloween. It's a full moon. No, I don't think it's a full moon, but the mood is right tonight. So the mood is right, so I know I got to get off here. Some of y'all got something to do and things to do and some doing to do. All right? All right. It's your girl, Pamela Denise. Thank y'all for listening. And until next time, love who you love. So let's talk about it, baby. Bye, y'all.