The Voyage of Self-Growth

The host of The Voyage of Self-Growth reflects on his childhood memories at his grandparents' lake house, highlighting the joy and freedom of that time. However, the recent death of his grandfather has made him realize the fleeting nature of childhood and the importance of cherishing moments with loved ones. He shares a poignant moment with his father, witnessing the pain of losing a family member. This experience has shifted his perspective on life and taught him the value of living in the present and not taking things for granted. Hello everyone and welcome to the first episode of The Voyage of Self-Growth. I'm your host Owen Ellsworth where I dive into my life experiences and reflections. First I'd like to pull my personal narrative to give some perspective and give more background into what I'll be discussing, but before that I'd like to give you even more background to see, to like tell you guys what I'm talking about. So my grandparents owned a lake house at Okoboji. This is where my grandpa taught me to fish, where he flipped us off the tube, where we'd go out on the lake. And let me tell you, he'd be smiling ear to ear when we were 10 feet in the air after he created like a hurricane of waves. He was ruthless out there. And then there'd be those nights of campfires and s'mores outside and then we'd go in and play games until midnight. Man, so many happy memories as a kid there. Just the time to be with your family, no worries whatsoever. But here's my quote, Lake Okoboji was always my safe place. All I want now is to be back there enjoying those priceless memories, but here I am with tears running down my face reminiscing about past times, staring at a poster board of pictures of my grandpa and our shared happy place at his funeral. Everyone talks about as a child, me included, on how we can't wait till we grow up and just have all this freedom, a driver's license where you can drive around and go to a restaurant, and independence where you can just, that just comes with adulthood. Yet it's moments like this when you're looking at these pictures of everything back when it starts, back to you and you remember how amazing times like those were. That's when my emotions just start going through the roof. You realize, oh my gosh, I'm growing up. Your childhood's gone and you'll never go back to those childhood memories that you wish you could go back to. The death of my family member is what it took for me to realize this. It's a sad truth. It's a sad truth and it really sucks. It took all that, I took all that for granted. Now I have those pictures of those times, it brought me perspective of my life, just looking at those pictures of those precious times. But amidst my grief and sorrow, I've seen something unmatched of pain to see. It's the sight of my father for the first time after my mother told me the news of my dad's father's passing. It was one of the most emotional times I've ever had with him. I come home from track practice, I walked into my house, I find him talking on the phone, he has tear stains going down his face, he's slouched up on the couch. He's just in a horrible state, I just, it's so hard to see him like that. And this is the lowest I've ever seen my dad, he's always the happiest person in the room, he's just full of positivity and just seeing him like that, it's really hard. I see him, he's on the phone with his brother, I walk over to him and he just, he hangs up the phone, I walk over to him and he stands up, we look at each other in the eye, we give each other like a timeless hug, like literally, like it was just full of emotion. I say I'm sorry, just for everything. And then he starts crying in my shoulders, and that was a very emotional time, that was like the most emotional time I've ever had with my dad, he's never, I've never even seen my dad cry, and then he's here crying in my shoulders, it was, it was really hard. Witnessing the loss of a family member and how hard it is, and not just, not just that but seeing the immense pain this loss is bringing to everyone around you, it makes me think about the future and the pain I feel when I'm in my dad's position, losing the best man I'll ever know. The one, that'll hurt, not a bad bone in that man's body, he's, you know, seeing that just shifted my perspective on everything, on how I handle life pretty much, everything also, everyone also says like, don't take things for granted, and I just brush it over my shoulder, and I don't know, I always never truly thought about it, like yeah, don't take things for granted, nothing's guaranteed, but I never truly thought about it, and like, it taught me, it taught me to cherish every moment with your family and friends. I don't need to worry about the future, I just need to live in the moment, just, you have what you have, just live in the moment, because one second you're, you're learning how to walk, and then now you're moving to college, you're like, everything just, it's all happening so fast, and it's just, just cherish what you have, you don't need to sit on your phone for eight hours a day, just not even living life, just wasting your time, just doing nothing, just live in the moment. Well thank you for tuning in, it was a pleasure, Owen Ellsworth, signing off.